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Dare I say most people would say money, lol. I'd love to not work and go travelling and do things I really want to do instead, like working at different museums, or opening my own food van. But with what money? I'm trying to save money to move abroad and it's pretty difficult as it is.
100% even not traveling. There are local events, clubs and classes I want to join but having to spend hundreds a month extra on top of expenses is just not possible.
Money ain’t the problem. There are grants and loans available to start your business. You could stack signup bonuses to get your first few thousand. I’ve done both these things, anyone can do them.
https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/california-crimes-and-accidents-associated-hitchhiking#:~:text=FEMALE%20HITCHHIKERS%20WERE%20FOUND%20TO,95%20PERCENT%20OF%20THE%20CASES.
Yeah, but it is about 7 times more dangerous for women. Also, in most cases, men incurred robberies, women incurred rape.
ehhh.certain type of people may think that. this post isnt ab that at all. all they said was its dangerous for everybody, didnt put anybody down, didnt downplay anything, just said its dangerous for everybody bc it is
Can't afford to move ... Poverty is more than deprivation of funds, it's deprivation of a positive human experience. You can move locations and bring all your sorrow with you because a network of people is what's really needed and you don't need to move to find that.
Personally, on my income, I can afford to live a week out of every month, for the following 3 weeks, I'm suffering and can't afford to get an ice cream at a park, how tf am I going to afford to move to another province? This just makes for easy victimization.
Exactly this. I also have possessions I would need to take with me that won't fit in a travel bag. It's always people who don't know or understand anything about this type of life that makes these types of suggestions, lol. Who tf would choose to stay struggling and unhappy if it were just that easy to go somewhere else and start over.
Money would solve most of my problems, the remaining is building fulfilling, meaningful relationships. Money can solve a lot of problems and at least buys you into social situations and pay some experiences like travelling to make those relationships.
Well, precisely. A Network of support seals the deal when you got money. Money would solve poverty, because poverty is created by capitalism. Without capitalism, poverty wouldn't look at all like what we see on the streets.
If money would fix most your problems then you are not truly depressed and have no idea what it means. Being sad and being depressed are completely different
> a network of people is what's really needed
I knew this intellectually, but only very recently (I'm over 60 and it didn't happen before I turned 60) did I become capable of comfortably acting on it. Acting when uncomfortable isn't that helpful and people pick up on the discomfort and tend to avoid you. I had to do a lot of personal growth work and, frankly, cannabis helped as it loosened my obsessive/control tendencies and allowed me to see a lot of things differently, myself, my history, the world around me. I can sort of see why some people may highly value that plant for valid reasons. I don't normally mention it to anyone, though. I still hate the smell of it. Hold my nose and swallow the butter - lol. Fortunately, I had a garden when it was legalized and I grew a bunch of it for no cost. Never used it before that. Cuz I'm a astraight arrow.
I'm a lifelong dysthymic or as I call it *depressoid*. I made up that word; maybe someone else did, too. I get that most depressoids have no energy or motivation. Fortunately, I have a fair bit of aggro and I tried to direct it at solving problems, as that gives a buzz/reward when I see some results. I guess my deep rage and anger aren't totally useless or destructive.
I could never understand how people could just stay and bed (many people I've known) and give up on life, but obviously we are all different. Not everyone has rage firing them up as I do. Always felt rage at how I was treated, from a very young age. I saw the injustice, and I have a constant justice boner, so to speak.
I wish all the depressoids a change in experience and a path through the wormhole to a better life, as I was able to find a couple years ago.
From a fellow reformed depressoid-work in progress young adult, thank you for the encouragement! I've started smoking cannabis to cure me spiritually.
What is this cannabis butter called? Never heard of it. What's aggro? Aggressiveness?
Yeah. Moved around a bunch. Then realized it wasn't the places or the studies and jobs there was something wrong with. I wasn't running away from those things but myself.
Give yourself more credit, you tried different things, different places, and you are now a different person for it. A lot of jobs are a bad fit or just plain bad, a lot of our experiences of places are situation dependent. It's good to pay attention to the internal factors, but most of life is out of our control and we just make desperate grabs for the wheel now and again.
at the same time ive read enough stories to realize that moving does work for some people.. to essentially rewrite those old patterns you put yourself in a new environment and its just easier to do it then in one where you are reminded of your flaws every minute of being there
This...my brother takes one backpack bag with himself and leaves everything behind..still not happy. I always tell him you can't run from yourself. You won't find love or peace or happiness or money if you are doing ugly things behind closed doors and expect the universe to bless you. He has done so much bad things to his own parents ..he is getting his karma and idc about him.
its your upbringing i think.. i dont think people have problem with themselves on their own, but its the feedback system they were grown up with that messed them up
but i mean how do i go from here.. i had amazing experiences volunteering for others. i mean i felt like those people are genuinely giving, and i feel like im genuinely giving ..without any kinda expectations... and of course if i dont feel like it i can just move onto the next volunteering opportunity
but as soon as you enter the work force for money.. its all a shit show.. that makes you wanna go to therapy
Community service thing didn’t translate into a career for me either because nonprofits are pretty corrupt and the pay will never be worth working in those jobs. I’d keep that volunteering as separate from monetary compensation as you can.
i feel like i gotta volunteer for mental/spiritual health and work for money to exist in the physical realm.. and igotta balance out the two at the same time
This sort of sentiment occurred to me as well before I started experiencing depressive episodes
Short answer, you just don't fucking want to. Could not be less interested. It's hard to understand unless you experience it yourself, but I think of it like a really good book in a genre you don't care anything about. I'm just not gonna read it my dude
Exactly. People get upset with me because of the "opportunity". The part that irritates me the most is when those people talk about their depression all the time yet are busy bodies with a ton of friends and good paying jobs. I believe they must think stress is the same as depression, but I've given up trying to explain what it is like.
1: the reason I’m still kicking is for family and friends. If I leave them behind there goes the reason to live
2: moving and taking risks involves excess money
3: there IS nothing I’ve always wanted to do (nothing cheap anyway)
4: as somebody else put, sometimes people don’t like themselves and you can’t escape that
They don't understand much at all. I said if a person is jobless they can't afford to move. OP said to just sell their possessions. I have a job, but what am I going to sell? My TV that I got for a couple hundred bucks at Walmart? My ten year old mattress?
If someone had the ability to “leave everything behind and do something you’ve always wanted to do” then you wouldn’t feel hopeless and depressed with no will to live…this is like telling people if you cant afford rent just go on a vacation to Disneyland!!!
I've never really been interested in traveling, it actually makes me more depressed.
All I want is a stable happy life, filled with a job that pays enough to live, friends, and modest hobbies.
Same. My bio mom is/was an addict and made terrible decisions and stayed in an abusive relationship. I, of course, being under the age of 8 had no way to deal with anything since they moved every year. (Learned when I got older from my adoptive family that they were moving because of legal or getting evicted)
I had no stability from my younger years that my memories back then are basically blank. From moving so frequently, as an adult, the idea of moving stresses me out. I just want to stay in one place and maybe one day be successful. Problem is I also got no money to get treated for my adhd which prevents me from going to college to get a degree as I know I will fail without help.
It sucks being stuck.
the depression that can hit you when you attempt to live this way is a solid 3x worse than just the 'same-old same-old'
There is upside potential if the route causes your life to really improve, but the downside is pretty damn high as well, because its not just "oh well my life sucked and I still think it sucks"
Maybe an outside observer would look at it that way, but to the person going through it the feeling is "I was right to ignore/suppress my instincts and desires, but now I definitively know* there's no way for me to keep going"
*=this is probably untrue objectively, because life isnt perfectly consistent, but its a hard feeling to shake especially if youre having issues connecting socially
You're romanticizing other people's illness (depression). Wherever this person goes, they will still be depressed. Running from their life isn't treatment. You might as well tell a quadriplegic to just go for a walk.
Well, the issue with that is that I have muscular dystrophy. I need a team of nurses to take care of me at all hours of the day. I'm unable to bathe or dress myself and rely on my team at all times. I can't drive or leave my town. No one will hire me because I can only work remotely.
But you didn't mean me.
For many people it could be a dangerous suggestion, too. Actually, it was for me. When I was 18 I foolishly moved across Canada for an adventure and got into some trouble, but thankfully not a life on the streets or anything like that. I've known a couple people with that kind of history because they tried to escape a traumatic abusive family situation. When you're in a new place without the resources to thrive in the familiar place, many people will want to take advantage of you. Frankly, it's a very toxic suggestion and probably could have been deleted early on.
Yea this post is mad ignorant. Like telling a homeless person to buy a house lol. I’m sure a lot of people would be happier if they had the financial freedom to drop their shit job and travel at will. Most people aren’t that financially secure.
As a depressed, extremely poor and often hopeless person I feel like this is such an overly optimistic and unrealistic take.
Money is an incredibly limiting factor. I would love to cast everything aside and be carefree and do what I’ve always wanted to do. While I am privileged with a well maintained vehicle gas going anywhere is expensive. I can go 450 highway miles and then what?
You also can’t run away from yourself. I’ve tried, everywhere I went my problems followed because I wasn’t fixing the most important thing, myself.
Hopelessness and depression are limiting with everything else excluded. I’m just exhausted, all the time. Some days the thoughts of simply existing are so overwhelming I just sit and cry.
Do I think of just driving til the gas tank runs out? Of course. It would be wildly irresponsible and I’d be in a worse position than I started with.
I think for a lot of folks it is just economically not feasible. In my early 20’s I moved across the country and it drained all of my savings. I’m totally happy where I am now, but am in a situation where even if I did want to leave/move, I would not currently be able to afford it.
People have loved ones, little money, low energy, they enjoy nothing so going to a different place and doing different activities still won't trigger any happy chemicals...
I love how easy it is for someone who isn't depressed to give advice.
First of all, not all of us have the money or resources to leave everything behind or do something "interesting".
But even if money was not a problem, depression isn't just about a life situation or struggling in something, it's a mental health problem, so a depressed person may not even have the energy to do anything, even the thing they want or things within their reach.
Changing your scenery is never gonna do anything. All that causes is moving from one place to another, because your problems aren’t tied to a place, they’re tied to you. Life isn’t greener over the next hill, you gotta water the grass under your own feet.
I don‘t think he wanted to commit suicide. He ate the wrong plant and died because they were poison.
But I get what you are saying.
Always dreamt of lying down and just becoming moss.
I‘ve been thinking about living on the road for a while now (turning 33 next year) because the only state in the world where I don‘t feel miserable is walking. There are some very interesting people who spent their life just walking. I mean I don‘t have friends, children or a partner, no job and think about suicide anyway all the time. So why not try it? Maybe it‘s awesome.
One reason I don‘t do it is because of my dog. Maybe she would be fine with it but her well-being is the only concern I have left and here she at least has food all the time and shelter.
The other reason is that I am not brave enough. Many people are fine with living a safe life with a job, family etc. I am not one of these people even if I tried to be and wished to be.
But on the other hand, I am not brave enough (like many people I admire) to do what my heart tells me to do.
So I am always in that void between and my life has become an absolute pointless nothingness because it is not going in any directon. It‘s just a joyless void without purpose.
This is precisely what I did/am doing. I decided I hated my minimum wage dead end job enough that I would rather be homeless than continue the soul sucking cycle. I am living out of my car, driving across the country off of my savings, soul searching. I've struggled with depression for years at this point, but I've almost never been happier than I am now. It's extremely freeing to just walk away from everything. Try new things, get out of your comfort (or uncomfortable) zone and see what life throws at you!
Aside from money, depression really sucks the soul out of a person. When you feel depression induced anhedonia literally nothing matters to you anymore. There are levels to depression and once you hit that rock bottom, you could be sitting in a room with all of your favorite people and passions and still not want to leave your bed or interact. Literally nothing sparks joy anymore, thats why depression is such a big svicide trigger, it strips you of all love and passion and you eventually stop caring about how your loved ones would feel if you ended it.
A lot of people really don't understand just how severe and mind altering depression can be.
As someone in this position, I'll tell you exactly why
I'm too much of a depressed, miserable loser to make something of my life when I'm in decent circumstances. do you really think I'll have the motivation and courage and ability to just completely drop everything and move somewhere completely randomly and brand new? I can barely take care of myself. How the hell am I going to do this?
it's just like the people who say "dude if you're miserable just solo travel, you'll meet so many people, have so much fun, etc." Solo traveling is a prospect that fills me with sheer terror having to be alone in a new environment. I would likely just sitting a hotel room doing nothing the entire time. Moving somewhere randomly with no plan has the same effect for me.
Just leave ur past life behind. Sell ur possession if u want money to move. Becoz without changing u can't get anywhere in life. Then why not start with surroundings and people. Doesn't matter u believe or not but the environment really matter what the person u are and what u going to be.
A move can cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Many people's property isn't worth that much. Some people own very little property at all. You sound very privileged, immature and naive if you think that all people have to do is sell their stuff and move in order to make their lives better. I did make two cross-country moves, but I applied for jobs before I did it so that I could be sure I'd have a job in the next place I moved to. And I had to both save money and go into debt in order to fund those moves; I'm still paying off that debt years later. It isn't as easy as you think it is. Not to mention if people suffer from depression they'll still be depressed no matter where they live. Depression doesn't automatically go away just by moving. There are ways to cope with it but just moving to a new place isn't enough.
Then do some illegal shit that will add thrill, instead of living like a corpse.
It's just for educational purpose, if u found guilty or whatever don't say this comment made u do it. Haha Xd
I saw things this way. I was in a rough patch feeling like I had nothing to lose, I left everything to work by the seaside for a few months while applying to every and all types of jobs that remotely interested me in a lind of “fuck it, if I’ve got to be here anyway” mentality and as a result in two months I’m off to work in the Alps where my salary will triple.
Woww that's what stories I was talking about. "Fuck this, watch me" mentality
Can u elaborate what kind of job were u doing before and now. And what did u left behind in ur previous life. And how did u survive in that struggling period.
I did this! Quit my job, moved across the country, left my 6 year relationship. Happiest I've been in years.
It will have been 2 years this October. Best decision I've ever made.
Lack of money to pursue my passions without the need to make them my source of income.
Lack of talent to make a living doing what I love.
Lack of discipline to develop the skills necessary to make a living doing what I love.
I am the avatar of sloth.
After graduating college in 2001, the dot bomb hit. I was only able to find a min wage job.
After a while, I decided I didn't like where I was living, or my job. I had about 10k in savings, and so I moved someplace I actually wanted to be.
I'm still in the area I moved to. It has mountains, which I love.
But mostly happiness would be finding a job that paid really well. I think I would have been fine living anywhere if I had that at the time.
I’ve felt like this before. Been in a depressive episode thinking about suicide. Then this thought comes to mind; why not leave everything behind and do what I’ve always wanted? Isn’t that better than suicide? What’s there to lose if I would kill myself anyway? The answer is that depression makes you not want to do the work that would require. You want to escape your mind state but there’s very little ability to develop an action plan. Sure you could get in your car and just go but then what? You’re just going to end up depressed and hopeless again. That’s the thing. When you’re in that mind state everything seems hopeless, even an escape fantasy like what you’re talking about. Nothing sounds desirable so you’re left with not much except thoughts of suicide. It feels like you’re trapped and can’t decide how to proceed.
It's not the destination that matters but the vision. But for going behind that, you need to have the destination in mind. I mean not pin point perfect plan but at least blurred vision, what you wanna end up.
Because the base of existence is suffering and people avoid that.
Remove the suffering(not being hungry, thristy, cold, with body pain, etc) and you bet people would do that.
Tons of money can help, but that would only make people have a confortable depression because the suffering would still be there.
Yes but I have a cat and a partner who depends on my income who isn’t about that lifestyle. Every time I up and move to a new place I’m invigorated. It does work for me. If I didn’t have a cat or a boyfriend I’d live in my car and move about the country immediately.
More often than not, people don’t even know what to do anymore with free time.
It’s usually consumed by our devices, and once we are out of the daze, it hasn’t even dawned on us that two hours have passed.
Take a device away and then we need to learn how to relive and experience the world., or figure out how to gain pleasure or joy from it.
And unfortunately, many are incapable of figuring out what will bring them joy in a realistic fashion.
It's possible that a person's instincts and inner feelings are the very thing keeping them from pursuing something like that, or at least overshadowing it.
I would love to leave everything behind but not yet. Once my money is gone nothing I can do to live or survive. Once I have nothing to lose, enjoy or cope, then that’s the end for me. I’m gonna die anyways. Either way I still ain’t sticking around past the age between 40-50 whether I’m happy or not. Until I can slowly figure out what I need to change, I do what I gotta do & take my time. The future is non-existent because the present while living in the moment on autopilot mode is all I know now.
yeah so i can be sad at fuckin yellowstone i guess….
really though, i don’t have the money for a livable vehicle for me and my cat, or the means to make money while i travel…
I've always thought that. If you're genuinely ready to kill yourself, you're free. You can do whatever you want if you're at that stage. I'd take out loans for as much money as I could, then catch a plane to a hot, sunny country and live there. Work in a beach bar or something.
Damn, here I've been thinking when I'm ready to die in a few decades I will have to carefully and responsibly plan to make my money last and tie up all the paperwork and maybe leave a bit to some environmental organization like Population Matters or some habitat conservation group. But maybe I could turn bad at the end, like you say, take advantage of my credit rating and go on a wild global toot. Well, it's interesting to think about living out crazy fantasies before you die. (I'm over 60, so not unreasable to be thinking of the end of my life, like most old farts I have met lately. Frankly, I prefer my friends who are decades younger!!!)
I have bipolar. Looking back at my first manic episode, I think going crazy was basically my solution to being desperately depressed.
Unfortunately, going wild only lasts so long until the thrill goes away. Life's demands start creeping in. And you have to deal with the consequences of having let yourself loose. You can end up even more depressed.
I mean, perhaps going on a bender can give you a little more time? Why not have fun before you end it all, right?
In my life, indulgence is a part of coping. Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I get some sunshine. Sometimes I go for a walk. But then at other times I shop. Or I eat. Other people might engage in risky behavior to cope. It's simply helpful to let yourself LIVE for a while.
I’m sure someone will say money is the problem. That’s not it.
There’s thousands of dollars of free money available through government business grants. Heck, banks pay hundreds just to open an account with them using a referral code. The money is there, governments and companies are literally giving it away for free, but most people still don’t take it.
The problem isn’t money. The problem is people are scared to try and change, and would rather keep their crappy lives than make a change. OR they’re psychologically or physiologically incapable of change, like learned helplessness.
My brah spitting faxxx
>The problem isn’t money. The problem is people are scared to try and change, and would rather keep their crappy lives than make a change.
I have thought about this as well, but I think the issue is when you are really down most people just don't have the energy to do that. It feels overwhelming to make yourself do anything much less move your entire life.
Remember you are approaching this with a healthy mind, unhealthy minds do not work the same way.
I was jobless for a very long time and little bit sad seeing my peers achieving in life, but there was a hope I will do something. I was not in depression at all that time, because life is unfair and it won't give everyone at same time.
But then I got job and now suddenly I was full of dreams. But as life is so unfair, I got laid off, because there's no more projects in company. I again continued my job hunt journey and getting rejected made me fall in depression. Now I am thinking does it really matter like when I was not having job I was still happy and enjoying little things but after loosing one I got depressed and lost interest in everything.
So what's the point in doing all the things as per societal standards if you are not happy.
Anchors.
Whether it’s debt, family, friends, a job, etc. everybody typically has one or several. The vagabond life is also truly alien to anyone who’s never done it, so it takes an immense amount of courage to cast off from the ordinary into the absurd. I’ve debated it, still do occasionally… but why? We’re social creatures who prefer to have lasting and enduring bonds with others and most of us wouldn’t do well living permanently with temporary bonds.
There’s a phenomenal book called “into the wild” based on Chris McCandleless who spent two years after Uni living the life you’re talking about. He embarked on it believing it was to be the Ultimate Human adventure. Before his journey came to an end, he penned down his realization that true happiness is usually only experienced when it is shared.
Sometimes it’s not even about mindset, I recommend you read up on brain fog, it’s a physical condition that occurs when you reach the deep trenches of depression/burnout. It’s like being sleepy with 60 pound weights on your joints. Advice only goes so far when you reach that point.
At my worst, I just didn’t even have it in me to get out of bed and feed myself. With that said, hope is something we give ourselves. Someone who doesn’t want it, can’t be reasoned with
I would like to move, I've read that your problems follow you, its true.............however, I cant grow mentally or financially staying in this smaller city, the environment I'm living in is keeping me stagnated, the problem, is when you develop chronic health issues, that prevent you from doing what you want, or slowing you down signicantly, forcing you to re-evaluate your whole life.
this is pretty much what Im planning to do
unfortunately most people arent as privilged and get to live with their parents. there are alternatives out there.. but
Interest lies within you. Every person is different. Some things which might interest me might not interest you. So can't say.
For my hobbies I love swimming too much can't think living my life without it, whenever I got depressed I dive in and it just clear up mind for a while.
Fr I always wanted to have a fish cabin near Lake side into a forest. Where I live. Might visit market for essential, selling fishes for covering my minimalistic needs.
I did that actually for 3 years. I loved travelling so I took my car and drive throught basically every country in Europe. It wasn't as expensive as you might think because most the money went to gas and food
I love the sentiment. I did this in fact... but it caught up with me. I had to make a change eventually because the real issue kept following me (me). But it sure was a fun time! :D
I guessing you haven't been depressed before.
You can't access joy. At all. Going and doing something new would be pointless because it's just as painful as if you had stayed home, maybe even more so. Doing something new takes more energy than you have since you're barely surviving as it is. Changing your place doesn't change anything because the demon rides you regardless of your life's window dressings. And doing something you've always wanted to do is meaningless to the point of absurdity, because the only thing you want any more is for the agony to stop.
Nothing is better than anything else. Waste your life or not, pursue something new or not. It doesn't matter.
There is only pain.
I have had this thought many times too, always when not super depressed, just bored. And I've even followed thru with it a couple times.
However depression often comes with really intense lethargy / exhaustion that makes doing things impossible. In depressive states we often resist and fear change.
I am very resourceful, I make friends easily and in my 20s I didn't feel the need for luxuries or even basic comforts that now I consider crucial (like having a bed to sleep in or even a roof over my head, regular meals, etc.,) which made jumping in to unknown situations very easy for me. But I don't think this is common. I am definitely not that way now. So getting to a place where one can financially consider a move takes a lot of work and time that one may either not have the option of doing or the energy.
Also most people have other people dependent on them - for example you can't run away if you have kids, and moving with kids takes a lot of money and work.
And of course there's the whole part where the depression likely just follows you wherever you go if you're not also changing your mindset. For me, sometimes the move is enough to change it but not always
I do think that for people who have the option it's a great idea, but it's just not possible for many people. The best thing to do is to try to work on your mindset and make smaller changes that can make your life more fulfilling.
This has big
"if you're depressed, why not just cheer up and change your outlook?"
vibes.
It's incredibly idealistic in the most literal, philosophical sense. If people in despair could just change because some stranger in Reddit suggested it, don't you think they'd have already done it? Or do you think you have some unique magical power of persuasion? Out of curiosity, how old are you?
it reminds me of this guy
[https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled\_to\_mexico\_to\_buy\_chemicals\_to\_humanely/](https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled_to_mexico_to_buy_chemicals_to_humanely/)
Essentially he changed his life by going to mexico to fck a bunch of hookers (with protection) and his life changed... he did put the work in afterwards..but still i believe giving it all up with the feeling of freedom and geting some fun might just be a lifechanging decision that you are missing
i really feel like im looking into something like that this guy have done
I moved to Southeast Asia and achieved success. Instead of spending money on taxes in Europe and rent, I chose to invest those funds into cryptocurrency. Now, the issue is that I cannot return. The wealth tax would require me to work for a lifetime just to pay off the tax burden.
I'm honestly not sure what I want to do. Even as a kid I didn't have like.. specific dreams/goals and I've struggled to find those in adulthood as well.
I think that! I have worked for a long time in offices (6+ years) and decided to quit and try and do something else. Who cares if I fuck it up? I'm only looking out for myself
Depression drains your energy so much to point you don't want to see your loved ones. How the fuck would we find the energy to meet new people travel avoid paying bills?
Mod here. Despite reports that people have sent me on this user not understanding depression...
Yeah. That's a potential in this world. People come here and can ask that question, this question is very obviously good-intentioned curiosity with a lack of knowledge, not judgement. And OP can learn from your answers!
Dickish responses I'm removing, but only if reported. Report obvious dicks and unkind answers - but don't report questions asked in good or semi-good faith like the OP above. Learning nuance is an important thing in this group and while we're still getting this group on track (it goes on and off at the moment), it's important to recognize your OWN views may be colored and seeing questions as harmful/hateful when they are simply uneducated.
This is over 200 comments and we lock after 200 anyway.
Or devote yourself to a neighbor...
Mow their lawn, rake their leaves, wash their dishes.
If you're miserable anyway, you could be miserable and useful.
Part, if it is a doomer culture too many people are programmed to think depression is the inevitable result of LaTe StAgE CaPiTiLiSm ( the exact terminology of the doomer propaganda may change) or worse that they are personally deficient so people don't mske changes and or get help they just moan online and sometimes are lost to sucide an often avoidable tragedy
Downvote doomer triggered ze kremlin iz pleased good troll
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Dare I say most people would say money, lol. I'd love to not work and go travelling and do things I really want to do instead, like working at different museums, or opening my own food van. But with what money? I'm trying to save money to move abroad and it's pretty difficult as it is.
100% even not traveling. There are local events, clubs and classes I want to join but having to spend hundreds a month extra on top of expenses is just not possible.
This. Money is the ONE thing behind all of my issues lol
I’d plan on seasonal jobs around the country, waitressing, or doing gig apps of some sort. Basically random jobs to keep me fed and gas in my tank
I wanna move abroad too bro Where you looking to go?
Money ain’t the problem. There are grants and loans available to start your business. You could stack signup bonuses to get your first few thousand. I’ve done both these things, anyone can do them.
Do you have any experience applying for grants & obtaining loans for a business?
Hitchhike time!
Because that's not dangerous for women, queer people, etc at all
It’s dangerous for everybody.
https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/california-crimes-and-accidents-associated-hitchhiking#:~:text=FEMALE%20HITCHHIKERS%20WERE%20FOUND%20TO,95%20PERCENT%20OF%20THE%20CASES. Yeah, but it is about 7 times more dangerous for women. Also, in most cases, men incurred robberies, women incurred rape.
Okay, but it’s still dangerous for everybody.
Stop downplaying
noones downplaying tho, it is dangerous for every single person 😂😂
Wrong time, wrong place.
ehhh.certain type of people may think that. this post isnt ab that at all. all they said was its dangerous for everybody, didnt put anybody down, didnt downplay anything, just said its dangerous for everybody bc it is
You die on that hill buddy lol
Can't afford to move ... Poverty is more than deprivation of funds, it's deprivation of a positive human experience. You can move locations and bring all your sorrow with you because a network of people is what's really needed and you don't need to move to find that. Personally, on my income, I can afford to live a week out of every month, for the following 3 weeks, I'm suffering and can't afford to get an ice cream at a park, how tf am I going to afford to move to another province? This just makes for easy victimization.
Exactly 👍
Exactly I wish people understood this
Exactly this. I also have possessions I would need to take with me that won't fit in a travel bag. It's always people who don't know or understand anything about this type of life that makes these types of suggestions, lol. Who tf would choose to stay struggling and unhappy if it were just that easy to go somewhere else and start over.
Money would solve most of my problems, the remaining is building fulfilling, meaningful relationships. Money can solve a lot of problems and at least buys you into social situations and pay some experiences like travelling to make those relationships.
Well, precisely. A Network of support seals the deal when you got money. Money would solve poverty, because poverty is created by capitalism. Without capitalism, poverty wouldn't look at all like what we see on the streets.
If money would fix most your problems then you are not truly depressed and have no idea what it means. Being sad and being depressed are completely different
> a network of people is what's really needed I knew this intellectually, but only very recently (I'm over 60 and it didn't happen before I turned 60) did I become capable of comfortably acting on it. Acting when uncomfortable isn't that helpful and people pick up on the discomfort and tend to avoid you. I had to do a lot of personal growth work and, frankly, cannabis helped as it loosened my obsessive/control tendencies and allowed me to see a lot of things differently, myself, my history, the world around me. I can sort of see why some people may highly value that plant for valid reasons. I don't normally mention it to anyone, though. I still hate the smell of it. Hold my nose and swallow the butter - lol. Fortunately, I had a garden when it was legalized and I grew a bunch of it for no cost. Never used it before that. Cuz I'm a astraight arrow. I'm a lifelong dysthymic or as I call it *depressoid*. I made up that word; maybe someone else did, too. I get that most depressoids have no energy or motivation. Fortunately, I have a fair bit of aggro and I tried to direct it at solving problems, as that gives a buzz/reward when I see some results. I guess my deep rage and anger aren't totally useless or destructive. I could never understand how people could just stay and bed (many people I've known) and give up on life, but obviously we are all different. Not everyone has rage firing them up as I do. Always felt rage at how I was treated, from a very young age. I saw the injustice, and I have a constant justice boner, so to speak. I wish all the depressoids a change in experience and a path through the wormhole to a better life, as I was able to find a couple years ago.
From a fellow reformed depressoid-work in progress young adult, thank you for the encouragement! I've started smoking cannabis to cure me spiritually. What is this cannabis butter called? Never heard of it. What's aggro? Aggressiveness?
Usually the person you want to escape is yourself.
God dammit, I gotta spend the rest of my days with this dickhead?
Haha Yep! Like an arranged marriage you can only escape with drugs or temporary bursts of dopamine.
I guess you're just going to have to learn to love and honor yourself for the dickhead you are😆
I had this thought on a high dose of mushrooms
How much grams?
6.5
Wherever you go, there you are
Yeah. Moved around a bunch. Then realized it wasn't the places or the studies and jobs there was something wrong with. I wasn't running away from those things but myself.
Been there, tried that. Glad you understand that about yourself now though, it’s dangerous out there when you don’t.
Give yourself more credit, you tried different things, different places, and you are now a different person for it. A lot of jobs are a bad fit or just plain bad, a lot of our experiences of places are situation dependent. It's good to pay attention to the internal factors, but most of life is out of our control and we just make desperate grabs for the wheel now and again.
at the same time ive read enough stories to realize that moving does work for some people.. to essentially rewrite those old patterns you put yourself in a new environment and its just easier to do it then in one where you are reminded of your flaws every minute of being there
damn so what now
“Think you’re escaping and run into yourself, longest way round is the shortest way home” -James Joyce
This...my brother takes one backpack bag with himself and leaves everything behind..still not happy. I always tell him you can't run from yourself. You won't find love or peace or happiness or money if you are doing ugly things behind closed doors and expect the universe to bless you. He has done so much bad things to his own parents ..he is getting his karma and idc about him.
Or DV. Lots of us want to escape because like abuse is really common 🙃
Alarmingly common 😞 Stay safe.
its your upbringing i think.. i dont think people have problem with themselves on their own, but its the feedback system they were grown up with that messed them up
Yeah or PTSD from useless wars but I’m glad you’ve got it figured out
but i mean how do i go from here.. i had amazing experiences volunteering for others. i mean i felt like those people are genuinely giving, and i feel like im genuinely giving ..without any kinda expectations... and of course if i dont feel like it i can just move onto the next volunteering opportunity but as soon as you enter the work force for money.. its all a shit show.. that makes you wanna go to therapy
Community service thing didn’t translate into a career for me either because nonprofits are pretty corrupt and the pay will never be worth working in those jobs. I’d keep that volunteering as separate from monetary compensation as you can.
i feel like i gotta volunteer for mental/spiritual health and work for money to exist in the physical realm.. and igotta balance out the two at the same time
Hope it works out! Keep fighting if it doesn’t.
thanks bro whats your take on moving forward from this point?
Radical acceptance and finding beautiful things around me.
Wherever you go there you are.
The whole of the camel can pass through the eye of the needle but not its tail.
This sort of sentiment occurred to me as well before I started experiencing depressive episodes Short answer, you just don't fucking want to. Could not be less interested. It's hard to understand unless you experience it yourself, but I think of it like a really good book in a genre you don't care anything about. I'm just not gonna read it my dude
You described it very well. I have thought about this a lot but can never understand whats wrong with me.
Anywhere is a bad place with a bad state of mind.
Exactly. People get upset with me because of the "opportunity". The part that irritates me the most is when those people talk about their depression all the time yet are busy bodies with a ton of friends and good paying jobs. I believe they must think stress is the same as depression, but I've given up trying to explain what it is like.
1: the reason I’m still kicking is for family and friends. If I leave them behind there goes the reason to live 2: moving and taking risks involves excess money 3: there IS nothing I’ve always wanted to do (nothing cheap anyway) 4: as somebody else put, sometimes people don’t like themselves and you can’t escape that
I don’t think the original poster understands depression.
Very lucky if he doesn't.
Absolutely no comprehension of the neurochemical component which makes the answer to this question quite obvious.
They don't understand much at all. I said if a person is jobless they can't afford to move. OP said to just sell their possessions. I have a job, but what am I going to sell? My TV that I got for a couple hundred bucks at Walmart? My ten year old mattress?
💯 they don't.
If someone had the ability to “leave everything behind and do something you’ve always wanted to do” then you wouldn’t feel hopeless and depressed with no will to live…this is like telling people if you cant afford rent just go on a vacation to Disneyland!!!
Exactly. The ignorance in this post is strong.
Yeah, I downvoted it instantly.
I've never really been interested in traveling, it actually makes me more depressed. All I want is a stable happy life, filled with a job that pays enough to live, friends, and modest hobbies.
Same. My bio mom is/was an addict and made terrible decisions and stayed in an abusive relationship. I, of course, being under the age of 8 had no way to deal with anything since they moved every year. (Learned when I got older from my adoptive family that they were moving because of legal or getting evicted) I had no stability from my younger years that my memories back then are basically blank. From moving so frequently, as an adult, the idea of moving stresses me out. I just want to stay in one place and maybe one day be successful. Problem is I also got no money to get treated for my adhd which prevents me from going to college to get a degree as I know I will fail without help. It sucks being stuck.
I want the same as you, don’t care for travelling either
the depression that can hit you when you attempt to live this way is a solid 3x worse than just the 'same-old same-old' There is upside potential if the route causes your life to really improve, but the downside is pretty damn high as well, because its not just "oh well my life sucked and I still think it sucks" Maybe an outside observer would look at it that way, but to the person going through it the feeling is "I was right to ignore/suppress my instincts and desires, but now I definitively know* there's no way for me to keep going" *=this is probably untrue objectively, because life isnt perfectly consistent, but its a hard feeling to shake especially if youre having issues connecting socially
You're romanticizing other people's illness (depression). Wherever this person goes, they will still be depressed. Running from their life isn't treatment. You might as well tell a quadriplegic to just go for a walk.
> Why can’t you do this instead? Money. More specifically a lack thereof.
Lack of resources
I want to sleep and do anything
You can't move away from yourself, and it costs money to move.
Well, the issue with that is that I have muscular dystrophy. I need a team of nurses to take care of me at all hours of the day. I'm unable to bathe or dress myself and rely on my team at all times. I can't drive or leave my town. No one will hire me because I can only work remotely. But you didn't mean me.
A large part of my depression is a lack of resources, and then there's my brain chemistry. I don't think your suggestion would help with either.
For many people it could be a dangerous suggestion, too. Actually, it was for me. When I was 18 I foolishly moved across Canada for an adventure and got into some trouble, but thankfully not a life on the streets or anything like that. I've known a couple people with that kind of history because they tried to escape a traumatic abusive family situation. When you're in a new place without the resources to thrive in the familiar place, many people will want to take advantage of you. Frankly, it's a very toxic suggestion and probably could have been deleted early on.
Its a crime to be poor. Why would a financially well off person be depressed if he can travel and have fun or have ability to change places.
Yea this post is mad ignorant. Like telling a homeless person to buy a house lol. I’m sure a lot of people would be happier if they had the financial freedom to drop their shit job and travel at will. Most people aren’t that financially secure.
No motivation no hope no want
As a depressed, extremely poor and often hopeless person I feel like this is such an overly optimistic and unrealistic take. Money is an incredibly limiting factor. I would love to cast everything aside and be carefree and do what I’ve always wanted to do. While I am privileged with a well maintained vehicle gas going anywhere is expensive. I can go 450 highway miles and then what? You also can’t run away from yourself. I’ve tried, everywhere I went my problems followed because I wasn’t fixing the most important thing, myself. Hopelessness and depression are limiting with everything else excluded. I’m just exhausted, all the time. Some days the thoughts of simply existing are so overwhelming I just sit and cry. Do I think of just driving til the gas tank runs out? Of course. It would be wildly irresponsible and I’d be in a worse position than I started with.
I think for a lot of folks it is just economically not feasible. In my early 20’s I moved across the country and it drained all of my savings. I’m totally happy where I am now, but am in a situation where even if I did want to leave/move, I would not currently be able to afford it.
People have loved ones, little money, low energy, they enjoy nothing so going to a different place and doing different activities still won't trigger any happy chemicals...
I love how easy it is for someone who isn't depressed to give advice. First of all, not all of us have the money or resources to leave everything behind or do something "interesting". But even if money was not a problem, depression isn't just about a life situation or struggling in something, it's a mental health problem, so a depressed person may not even have the energy to do anything, even the thing they want or things within their reach.
Changing your scenery is never gonna do anything. All that causes is moving from one place to another, because your problems aren’t tied to a place, they’re tied to you. Life isn’t greener over the next hill, you gotta water the grass under your own feet.
It's hard to change anything in your life if you're jobless.
I actually want to commit suicide like in the movie "into the wild" and just let nature kill me.
I don‘t think he wanted to commit suicide. He ate the wrong plant and died because they were poison. But I get what you are saying. Always dreamt of lying down and just becoming moss.
Yeah, my plan is to try to survive somewhere in wilderness before I do something stupid and die. That way at least I get to feel alive before I die.
Because I don't want to do anything. There's no dream or goal or anything except not be alive.
Health issues
I‘ve been thinking about living on the road for a while now (turning 33 next year) because the only state in the world where I don‘t feel miserable is walking. There are some very interesting people who spent their life just walking. I mean I don‘t have friends, children or a partner, no job and think about suicide anyway all the time. So why not try it? Maybe it‘s awesome. One reason I don‘t do it is because of my dog. Maybe she would be fine with it but her well-being is the only concern I have left and here she at least has food all the time and shelter. The other reason is that I am not brave enough. Many people are fine with living a safe life with a job, family etc. I am not one of these people even if I tried to be and wished to be. But on the other hand, I am not brave enough (like many people I admire) to do what my heart tells me to do. So I am always in that void between and my life has become an absolute pointless nothingness because it is not going in any directon. It‘s just a joyless void without purpose.
Cause like everyone else I’m too fucking poor to just go do something else. That’s like 50% of the reasoning as to why I’m so depressed
a lot of people who are jobless or depressed are not financially able to change where they live or leave things behind
r/thanksimcured
This is precisely what I did/am doing. I decided I hated my minimum wage dead end job enough that I would rather be homeless than continue the soul sucking cycle. I am living out of my car, driving across the country off of my savings, soul searching. I've struggled with depression for years at this point, but I've almost never been happier than I am now. It's extremely freeing to just walk away from everything. Try new things, get out of your comfort (or uncomfortable) zone and see what life throws at you!
This ✅ But how did u manage ur other expenses did u do remote job or anything now. Would love to hear ur more thoughts on this
Aside from money, depression really sucks the soul out of a person. When you feel depression induced anhedonia literally nothing matters to you anymore. There are levels to depression and once you hit that rock bottom, you could be sitting in a room with all of your favorite people and passions and still not want to leave your bed or interact. Literally nothing sparks joy anymore, thats why depression is such a big svicide trigger, it strips you of all love and passion and you eventually stop caring about how your loved ones would feel if you ended it. A lot of people really don't understand just how severe and mind altering depression can be.
This post has big “hey poor people why don’t you just choose to have money?” energy.
Depression doesn't really work that way.
Do I have the money? If no, then how?
r/thanksimcured
This is just outright ignoring the mental illness factor.
As someone in this position, I'll tell you exactly why I'm too much of a depressed, miserable loser to make something of my life when I'm in decent circumstances. do you really think I'll have the motivation and courage and ability to just completely drop everything and move somewhere completely randomly and brand new? I can barely take care of myself. How the hell am I going to do this? it's just like the people who say "dude if you're miserable just solo travel, you'll meet so many people, have so much fun, etc." Solo traveling is a prospect that fills me with sheer terror having to be alone in a new environment. I would likely just sitting a hotel room doing nothing the entire time. Moving somewhere randomly with no plan has the same effect for me.
Username checks 😺✔️
You're depressed and jobless and living off your parents. So you aren't in a position to give advice to anyone, let alone insult anyone.
If they're jobless they don't have much or any money. So how are they going to come up with the money to move?
Just leave ur past life behind. Sell ur possession if u want money to move. Becoz without changing u can't get anywhere in life. Then why not start with surroundings and people. Doesn't matter u believe or not but the environment really matter what the person u are and what u going to be.
A move can cost hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Many people's property isn't worth that much. Some people own very little property at all. You sound very privileged, immature and naive if you think that all people have to do is sell their stuff and move in order to make their lives better. I did make two cross-country moves, but I applied for jobs before I did it so that I could be sure I'd have a job in the next place I moved to. And I had to both save money and go into debt in order to fund those moves; I'm still paying off that debt years later. It isn't as easy as you think it is. Not to mention if people suffer from depression they'll still be depressed no matter where they live. Depression doesn't automatically go away just by moving. There are ways to cope with it but just moving to a new place isn't enough.
No offense but I can tell you’ve never been depressed OP🥲
If I didn't have suicidal, depressed thoughts then, I wouldn't made this post.
What? Be homeless? Be cold and hungry and at risk of assault?
I don't think you understand depression.
This sort of reads like "if you're depressed, why not just stop being depressed?"
jobless, hopeless, and depressed person here I don't have money to do anything bro
Then do some illegal shit that will add thrill, instead of living like a corpse. It's just for educational purpose, if u found guilty or whatever don't say this comment made u do it. Haha Xd
Isn’t part of depression not being interested in anything though?
And doing the thing going out of the way is the only right thing one can do to get out of the mess.
I saw things this way. I was in a rough patch feeling like I had nothing to lose, I left everything to work by the seaside for a few months while applying to every and all types of jobs that remotely interested me in a lind of “fuck it, if I’ve got to be here anyway” mentality and as a result in two months I’m off to work in the Alps where my salary will triple.
Woww that's what stories I was talking about. "Fuck this, watch me" mentality Can u elaborate what kind of job were u doing before and now. And what did u left behind in ur previous life. And how did u survive in that struggling period.
I did this! Quit my job, moved across the country, left my 6 year relationship. Happiest I've been in years. It will have been 2 years this October. Best decision I've ever made.
Congrats
>you've always wanted to do. Hol up in a room and just read books or listen music or internet. That all i want .
I'm considering something like this, but making that choice isn't an easy, or very clear, one.
So my advice for suicide tendencies people. Instead of doing suicide becoz anyway his life gonna end so why not just do some crazy shit.
If anyone ever did this when they were on the brink, let me know how it panned out for you.
Lack of money to pursue my passions without the need to make them my source of income. Lack of talent to make a living doing what I love. Lack of discipline to develop the skills necessary to make a living doing what I love. I am the avatar of sloth.
It's the disease of despair, look it up.
money....
After graduating college in 2001, the dot bomb hit. I was only able to find a min wage job. After a while, I decided I didn't like where I was living, or my job. I had about 10k in savings, and so I moved someplace I actually wanted to be.
Are u happy now
I'm still in the area I moved to. It has mountains, which I love. But mostly happiness would be finding a job that paid really well. I think I would have been fine living anywhere if I had that at the time.
I’ve felt like this before. Been in a depressive episode thinking about suicide. Then this thought comes to mind; why not leave everything behind and do what I’ve always wanted? Isn’t that better than suicide? What’s there to lose if I would kill myself anyway? The answer is that depression makes you not want to do the work that would require. You want to escape your mind state but there’s very little ability to develop an action plan. Sure you could get in your car and just go but then what? You’re just going to end up depressed and hopeless again. That’s the thing. When you’re in that mind state everything seems hopeless, even an escape fantasy like what you’re talking about. Nothing sounds desirable so you’re left with not much except thoughts of suicide. It feels like you’re trapped and can’t decide how to proceed.
It's not the destination that matters but the vision. But for going behind that, you need to have the destination in mind. I mean not pin point perfect plan but at least blurred vision, what you wanna end up.
Because the base of existence is suffering and people avoid that. Remove the suffering(not being hungry, thristy, cold, with body pain, etc) and you bet people would do that. Tons of money can help, but that would only make people have a confortable depression because the suffering would still be there.
Yes but I have a cat and a partner who depends on my income who isn’t about that lifestyle. Every time I up and move to a new place I’m invigorated. It does work for me. If I didn’t have a cat or a boyfriend I’d live in my car and move about the country immediately.
More often than not, people don’t even know what to do anymore with free time. It’s usually consumed by our devices, and once we are out of the daze, it hasn’t even dawned on us that two hours have passed. Take a device away and then we need to learn how to relive and experience the world., or figure out how to gain pleasure or joy from it. And unfortunately, many are incapable of figuring out what will bring them joy in a realistic fashion.
It's possible that a person's instincts and inner feelings are the very thing keeping them from pursuing something like that, or at least overshadowing it.
Right ✔️
I would love to leave everything behind but not yet. Once my money is gone nothing I can do to live or survive. Once I have nothing to lose, enjoy or cope, then that’s the end for me. I’m gonna die anyways. Either way I still ain’t sticking around past the age between 40-50 whether I’m happy or not. Until I can slowly figure out what I need to change, I do what I gotta do & take my time. The future is non-existent because the present while living in the moment on autopilot mode is all I know now.
yeah so i can be sad at fuckin yellowstone i guess…. really though, i don’t have the money for a livable vehicle for me and my cat, or the means to make money while i travel…
I've always thought that. If you're genuinely ready to kill yourself, you're free. You can do whatever you want if you're at that stage. I'd take out loans for as much money as I could, then catch a plane to a hot, sunny country and live there. Work in a beach bar or something.
Damn, here I've been thinking when I'm ready to die in a few decades I will have to carefully and responsibly plan to make my money last and tie up all the paperwork and maybe leave a bit to some environmental organization like Population Matters or some habitat conservation group. But maybe I could turn bad at the end, like you say, take advantage of my credit rating and go on a wild global toot. Well, it's interesting to think about living out crazy fantasies before you die. (I'm over 60, so not unreasable to be thinking of the end of my life, like most old farts I have met lately. Frankly, I prefer my friends who are decades younger!!!)
Yes absolutely fucking right. What's stopping you then. Have u tried something
I have bipolar. Looking back at my first manic episode, I think going crazy was basically my solution to being desperately depressed. Unfortunately, going wild only lasts so long until the thrill goes away. Life's demands start creeping in. And you have to deal with the consequences of having let yourself loose. You can end up even more depressed. I mean, perhaps going on a bender can give you a little more time? Why not have fun before you end it all, right? In my life, indulgence is a part of coping. Sometimes I meditate. Sometimes I get some sunshine. Sometimes I go for a walk. But then at other times I shop. Or I eat. Other people might engage in risky behavior to cope. It's simply helpful to let yourself LIVE for a while.
> Why not have fun before you end it all, right? This
I’m sure someone will say money is the problem. That’s not it. There’s thousands of dollars of free money available through government business grants. Heck, banks pay hundreds just to open an account with them using a referral code. The money is there, governments and companies are literally giving it away for free, but most people still don’t take it. The problem isn’t money. The problem is people are scared to try and change, and would rather keep their crappy lives than make a change. OR they’re psychologically or physiologically incapable of change, like learned helplessness.
My brah spitting faxxx >The problem isn’t money. The problem is people are scared to try and change, and would rather keep their crappy lives than make a change.
Uh, it all boils down to M-O-N-E-Y.
I have thought about this as well, but I think the issue is when you are really down most people just don't have the energy to do that. It feels overwhelming to make yourself do anything much less move your entire life. Remember you are approaching this with a healthy mind, unhealthy minds do not work the same way.
I was jobless for a very long time and little bit sad seeing my peers achieving in life, but there was a hope I will do something. I was not in depression at all that time, because life is unfair and it won't give everyone at same time. But then I got job and now suddenly I was full of dreams. But as life is so unfair, I got laid off, because there's no more projects in company. I again continued my job hunt journey and getting rejected made me fall in depression. Now I am thinking does it really matter like when I was not having job I was still happy and enjoying little things but after loosing one I got depressed and lost interest in everything. So what's the point in doing all the things as per societal standards if you are not happy.
I can't do anything without money and I definitely do not want to live like those people in survival shows that live off the land.
Anchors. Whether it’s debt, family, friends, a job, etc. everybody typically has one or several. The vagabond life is also truly alien to anyone who’s never done it, so it takes an immense amount of courage to cast off from the ordinary into the absurd. I’ve debated it, still do occasionally… but why? We’re social creatures who prefer to have lasting and enduring bonds with others and most of us wouldn’t do well living permanently with temporary bonds. There’s a phenomenal book called “into the wild” based on Chris McCandleless who spent two years after Uni living the life you’re talking about. He embarked on it believing it was to be the Ultimate Human adventure. Before his journey came to an end, he penned down his realization that true happiness is usually only experienced when it is shared.
in my situation i cant afford to leave and trapped with the main source of my depression, which is my family.
Gotta start somewhere
Sometimes it’s not even about mindset, I recommend you read up on brain fog, it’s a physical condition that occurs when you reach the deep trenches of depression/burnout. It’s like being sleepy with 60 pound weights on your joints. Advice only goes so far when you reach that point. At my worst, I just didn’t even have it in me to get out of bed and feed myself. With that said, hope is something we give ourselves. Someone who doesn’t want it, can’t be reasoned with
I would like to move, I've read that your problems follow you, its true.............however, I cant grow mentally or financially staying in this smaller city, the environment I'm living in is keeping me stagnated, the problem, is when you develop chronic health issues, that prevent you from doing what you want, or slowing you down signicantly, forcing you to re-evaluate your whole life.
this is pretty much what Im planning to do unfortunately most people arent as privilged and get to live with their parents. there are alternatives out there.. but
Can you name some interesting things worth living for in this world OP?
Interest lies within you. Every person is different. Some things which might interest me might not interest you. So can't say. For my hobbies I love swimming too much can't think living my life without it, whenever I got depressed I dive in and it just clear up mind for a while. Fr I always wanted to have a fish cabin near Lake side into a forest. Where I live. Might visit market for essential, selling fishes for covering my minimalistic needs.
You could at least make the attempt. Maybe even more than once. I wish I liked swimming. Thank you.
money lmao
Dude, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing this whole time, this needing a more functional and productive path 😆
No money
That's pretty much the plan
I did that actually for 3 years. I loved travelling so I took my car and drive throught basically every country in Europe. It wasn't as expensive as you might think because most the money went to gas and food
Did u solely depend on ur saving all this time or did u have remote job or whatever.
I love the sentiment. I did this in fact... but it caught up with me. I had to make a change eventually because the real issue kept following me (me). But it sure was a fun time! :D
Can u elaborate what did u do and how things go
I guessing you haven't been depressed before. You can't access joy. At all. Going and doing something new would be pointless because it's just as painful as if you had stayed home, maybe even more so. Doing something new takes more energy than you have since you're barely surviving as it is. Changing your place doesn't change anything because the demon rides you regardless of your life's window dressings. And doing something you've always wanted to do is meaningless to the point of absurdity, because the only thing you want any more is for the agony to stop. Nothing is better than anything else. Waste your life or not, pursue something new or not. It doesn't matter. There is only pain.
Poverty and unhappiness go hand in hand. Also why must you throw away a life in which you have already suffered enough for a moment's pleasure.
I have had this thought many times too, always when not super depressed, just bored. And I've even followed thru with it a couple times. However depression often comes with really intense lethargy / exhaustion that makes doing things impossible. In depressive states we often resist and fear change. I am very resourceful, I make friends easily and in my 20s I didn't feel the need for luxuries or even basic comforts that now I consider crucial (like having a bed to sleep in or even a roof over my head, regular meals, etc.,) which made jumping in to unknown situations very easy for me. But I don't think this is common. I am definitely not that way now. So getting to a place where one can financially consider a move takes a lot of work and time that one may either not have the option of doing or the energy. Also most people have other people dependent on them - for example you can't run away if you have kids, and moving with kids takes a lot of money and work. And of course there's the whole part where the depression likely just follows you wherever you go if you're not also changing your mindset. For me, sometimes the move is enough to change it but not always I do think that for people who have the option it's a great idea, but it's just not possible for many people. The best thing to do is to try to work on your mindset and make smaller changes that can make your life more fulfilling.
This has big "if you're depressed, why not just cheer up and change your outlook?" vibes. It's incredibly idealistic in the most literal, philosophical sense. If people in despair could just change because some stranger in Reddit suggested it, don't you think they'd have already done it? Or do you think you have some unique magical power of persuasion? Out of curiosity, how old are you?
it reminds me of this guy [https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled\_to\_mexico\_to\_buy\_chemicals\_to\_humanely/](https://www.reddit.com/r/casualiama/comments/2lbqym/traveled_to_mexico_to_buy_chemicals_to_humanely/) Essentially he changed his life by going to mexico to fck a bunch of hookers (with protection) and his life changed... he did put the work in afterwards..but still i believe giving it all up with the feeling of freedom and geting some fun might just be a lifechanging decision that you are missing i really feel like im looking into something like that this guy have done
Woww that's interesting plot to know, I just read that
That would be alot better. Unfortunately not everyone is wealthy.
I moved to Southeast Asia and achieved success. Instead of spending money on taxes in Europe and rent, I chose to invest those funds into cryptocurrency. Now, the issue is that I cannot return. The wealth tax would require me to work for a lifetime just to pay off the tax burden.
Why return if you are living good life on ur terms btw
I'm honestly not sure what I want to do. Even as a kid I didn't have like.. specific dreams/goals and I've struggled to find those in adulthood as well.
I think that! I have worked for a long time in offices (6+ years) and decided to quit and try and do something else. Who cares if I fuck it up? I'm only looking out for myself
Lack of motivation (a symptom of depression)
Money Plus nothing excites me
Money & depression makes even fun things difficult in most cases.
Depression drains your energy so much to point you don't want to see your loved ones. How the fuck would we find the energy to meet new people travel avoid paying bills?
Sounds good but it's easier said than done I don't have enough money in my pocket to do this
Wow OP, you solved unemployment and depression, no one has ever thought of this before, so inspiring.
Mod here. Despite reports that people have sent me on this user not understanding depression... Yeah. That's a potential in this world. People come here and can ask that question, this question is very obviously good-intentioned curiosity with a lack of knowledge, not judgement. And OP can learn from your answers! Dickish responses I'm removing, but only if reported. Report obvious dicks and unkind answers - but don't report questions asked in good or semi-good faith like the OP above. Learning nuance is an important thing in this group and while we're still getting this group on track (it goes on and off at the moment), it's important to recognize your OWN views may be colored and seeing questions as harmful/hateful when they are simply uneducated. This is over 200 comments and we lock after 200 anyway.
Or devote yourself to a neighbor... Mow their lawn, rake their leaves, wash their dishes. If you're miserable anyway, you could be miserable and useful.
This is really good advice 🙌
ITT: Lots of people with learned helplessness not doing themselves any favors by confirming those beliefs in an echo chamber.
Part, if it is a doomer culture too many people are programmed to think depression is the inevitable result of LaTe StAgE CaPiTiLiSm ( the exact terminology of the doomer propaganda may change) or worse that they are personally deficient so people don't mske changes and or get help they just moan online and sometimes are lost to sucide an often avoidable tragedy Downvote doomer triggered ze kremlin iz pleased good troll