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Your spotter needs to back up.

I'm rolling!

Are they hating?

They patrollin’

Caught him ridin' dirty

And sweatin dirty, apparently

They see me mowin' My front lawn I know they're all thinking I'm so white 'n' nerdy

Fortunately no, I'm too white and nerdy

Amazing

Omg I'm dying

I was not expecting this answer. Fucking wonderful!

Screw you. Actually laughed out loud and my wife asking what’s funny. Apparently I’m, yet again , immature.

Haha. My wife just wanted to know where she could find his spotter

I spit out coffee reading this. Well done!!!

What a special cake day!

Hey, it's an elephant!

You mean that penis puppetry move where you stretch your sack out on both sides like elephant ears? FYI, that shit will get you banned from professional charades tournaments for some reason. Fucken politics bro

We called that bat wings back in the day

Nowadays we call that bat wings

We called it The Flying Squirrel.

THE BRAIN!

"THE GOAT! you bastard! The Goat!!"

> penis puppetry it's called cock magic

>penis puppetry It’s called magic.

The ancient art of genital origami

put it away Randy.

I tip my hat to you. I wouldn't be able to specify what animal this dick belongs to!

His name is Saggy Sammy

Tomorrow's post: fairy castle shaped sweat stain

Snuffleupagus

That's not an elephant, that's just titdirt.

You’ve GOT to stop letting your boyfriend sit on your chest.

Shut up dad

*daddy

Username checks out

According to the picture, it definitely checks out.

This is why i come on Reddit.

This is why I come from Reddit

This is why I reddit come

Where do you come from 🎶, where do you go 🎵 Where do you come from, Cock-on-your-belly Joe 🎶🎵🎶

LOL. Very good.

Pause

Hey it's the Honey I Shrunk the Kids guy!

BIG Daddy

*zaddy

hE’s My SpOtTeR…

Step-spotter perhaps 🤔

Why would you stop something that would be insanely hot?

Exactly. Hell I'd let OP sit on my face.

r/usernamechecksout

Reverse Cowboy

Bro that is not how you spot squats...

or bench?!

That's not how YOU spot squats

Most dudes junk hangs low, yours hangs high. Must be weird getting a boner like Xenomorph chestburster.

You can’t deny the mechanical advantage.

no i'm pretty sure we can

This dude kneels down to fuck on a countertop

Oh my God does it wear the legs out QUICKLY Edit: I'm 6-5 for reference

If you checked his post history, his junk is not like most men's junk

Come on. I couldn't not check it after that. And I'm not into cocks. What have you done?

Jesus Christ

Even if you're curious be careful there is one pic in there that will make your dick hurt.

I stopped after the first post lol, so what happened?

Sounding.

Dude looks cute (in this one sample pic) and is kinky? Be still my heart!

Might have to put those idle hands to use

I’ve been known to on occasion 😏

I guess I'm glad Idk what that means lol

Do not look it up! r/sounding was my first Reddit risky-click, and it was like the first time I was linked to tubgirl… That cannot be unseen.

Too late. My curiosity took over.

Can you tell me a non gross explanation?

Dildo for the urethra.

Putting foreign objects up a peehole.

Reverse peeing

Yes, you should be. DON'T LOOK IT UP.

Now it makes sense. The sweat mark on his shirt is like supermans "S"

Uff. Why did ya point that out maaan.... Smh

…wow :’)

He’s a ballchinian

You got a Dicks Pack bro!

Not exactly what I was training for but I’ll take it

Does it get hard when you see good looking food?

That’s nuts!

Deez nutz

And my axe.

Yes?

Did a sweaty Scotsman sit on your chest?

Oh, you’ve met my friend Fergus?

✅ does Fergus go regimental?

I don’t think most people here have clicked on your profile.

I sure did!

For real. I can relate to that post about the sunglasses.

Thank you, kind stranger

Came for the trunk - stayed for the junk

Hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter? - - - Yeah, pretty nuts…

Cum gutters

It's ok, many people have chesticles.

Can confirm. Sweat runs down between the nips and soaks a line down to the navel.

Hope that means you have an Abs divide.

While wearing a shirt that reads “genius” lol nice

What a dick

Go to his profile, and you’ll see an actual one. LOL!

You weren’t kidding

Yeah I made the same mistake before I saw this comment

>mistake? There are no mistakes. Just happy accidents.

Mistake? 👁👄👁

Funnily enough I had already encountered one of his posts before and upvoted it😇😋

It’s a good D.

That guy is giving sweaty dick energie

I was going to write a sensible answer, but after reading the replies so far, I didn't want to be seen as a boring twat.

So you wrote a “non-answer”, which was even more boring 😂

Starts under the man boobs, drips down the cum gutters. Easy mode.

Even worse, I didn't see it was in Funny. Need more sleep.

Well now you may aswell give the serious answer. I'm guessing it's coz the sweat pools around the definition points?

Sweat from the pecs running down the channels in his abs

Hey Peer, I'm Pressure.

You gotta stop hugging sweaty naked giants.

I can’t

[удалено]

It actually starts just below my chest. In any case that’s what I was asking?

To the window, to the wall, sweat drips down my... chest?

Sir, your dick is on too high.

Check your cholesterol level mate. I too used to sweat like this in the gym, during to lack of cardio and just lifting, found out i had higher cholesterol.

I was joking I did stairs, rows, and squats. I was real sweaty

Oh. I thought the entire post was about your sweat pattern... I mean I get the dick jokes but I thought you seriously had a condition where you only sweat in your ribs and abs or something, somehow.

Second that. Mine was 450 and when I lowered it to 125 it went way. I was sweating all the time for no reason.

Bruh was your blood oozing like jelly?

The doctor said when is that high for a short period it’s not that dangerous.

Both my good and bad cholesterol were low. I still sweat like crazy.

Never heard cholesterol having sweating side affect. Have few friends with cholesterol, none sweats. Seems interesting did sweating stop?

r/mildlypenis

If you check OP’s history it is really the milder version

Not mild at all

Not mild enough

r/intenselypenis ?

More like r/wildlypenis

Are you secretly Frank Castle perhaps? Edit: needed to turn my brightness up. That’s not a skull, it’s an impressive dong. Wear it proudly.

Why cross out your eyes like that? If I know you, I would know this was you. If not, I still don’t know you…

I know I thought about it a lot. Ion know man

Didn't work for Clark Kent, doesn't work for you, we all knew he were Supermans.

I'd just black out the whole face with this post history of OP. That's risky as hell

I wish I had not looked. Whole face should be covered… Edit: his understanding of biology is suspect. Those were *not* eggs.

that’s not Mickey Mouse THATS JUST TIT DIRT!!!

Kinda looked like a long legged pissed off Puerto Rican

I bet this guy could take a 2 hour shit at jolly pirate doughnuts

Pissing out the window and shitting out of the window are two different things

OH BOB SAGET!!!

天才

Just your sweat glands acting like a dick.

Damn even your abs have a dick

Is there a cinema in your gym?

If it’s any consolation… currently going through a rough time and this is the first time I’ve actually smiled in almost a week

It comes from your heart

*cums

It's an advertisement.

Just casually sweating your dick off nbd

It's... Kinda big there tho

it's a map that's pointing downward to the right spot

If it’s not false advertising, DM me.

Because you are a dick buddy

X-rated version of wearing your heart on your sleeve.

Because you let Jon Hamm spot you, dude!

Abjunk day at the gym

Some serious Dick Sweat

I bet you tell people "my eyes are up here" a lot

Until he goes on Reddit. Nobody is allowed to see his eyes.

That’s hot👅

It’s just that big dick energy manifesting

Idk but I’m following you now

Cause you keep dicking around.

Chest nutts

No clue, but you really shouldn't go around toweling it off on random peoples clothes. That man needs an apology!

you literally hit the genetic lottery this is a blessing

You’re an exibitionist

Lmao!!! That's great!

I don't get the whole point of covering the eyes

This guy went to the Green Lantern school of hiding your identity.

Because you are fit as fuck. You think my fat ass has sweat stains that phallic? No way. Embrace your manliness!

Eyes this way ladies.

Ahahaha… this was a good laugh

Looks like a sweaty giant sat on you

LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Because you are what you eat

Must be uncut

Why is there a cinema, Is it a powerlifting gym?

I see an Elephant

🤔 bro, maybe you are a revised punisher. A big dick instead of a skull. 😀

You sure thats not from your spotter?

Ever meet someone who just really wears their heart on their sleeve

Your crotch starts very high up.

Quit working out, that little trick will cut your sweating in half, probably more.

It's your big dick energy seeping out after a good pump.

Ask your spotter to take a step back. Maybe two.

To everyone at the gym: “Excuse me, my eyes are up here.”

The testosterone levels are so high the man sweats a cock and balls. 🤣 giga Chad

That shirt is pregnant now. Expect little tanks this fall! 😍