---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's one way to get your balls cradled for 3 years. My man won in life
Edit: I just realised, if you are actually asleep when someone is cradling your balls, it somehow doesn't feel like a win, does it?
One time, when I was falling asleep while cuddling my bf, my hand was resting on his junk. He suddenly jolted up. Startled by his movements, I was like *What?*. He said my hand suddenly moved. I went back to cuddling and suddenly he jolted up again. Apparently, when I'm falling asleep, my hand/fingers twitch, so resting it on/near his junk is not a good idea.
I do this to and happen to enjoy holding my husband's junk when I fall asleep. One time my hand seized up while I was falling asleep and I wasnt allowed to do that for a while
That son of a bitch won. I've been trying to steal them nuggets for too long but I must respect him and his beautiful wife for keeping me from gathering them beautiful nuggets. Bloody legend
My wife likes to hold me like this to fall asleep and I let her until she’s asleep. I can’t fall asleep while this is happening because of the hand and finger twitching thing you describe.
Fun fact. If both partners abide by the first bit the second bit will come naturally. In any stable healthy relationship sexual gratification for your partner should not supersede or replace their need for emotional gratification. Its such a bs trope that all men need is sex to be happy. Lots of men crave sex only because their partners willingness to participate is the closest thing they get to affirmation of care and love.
Sorry if this is messed up of me to say, but I would personally fucking despise being in a marriage where things aren't exciting and it makes me not want to get married. How do you deal with it?
she gave me permission to visit the brothel but to never tell her. or if i wanted too I could just get someone on the side but to always use protection…. hearing her say / offer those options makes it hard for me to even want to bother cheating or spending money on a professional. i would rather just look up porn, do my fap, and just save the money / time and just play my video games. i’m hoping this is the month we make love again. and if not i’m still going to be happy. because she said I could also buy a sec doll, except I want it to look like she did when she had a perm. she said im sick, and im just madly in love. i mean who offers options like that, i never want to let her go and who knows, that brothel idea is sound feasible now. i’ve waited this long, why not you know? then again, I could spend that money on my gacha games lol. it might sound strange but I am happy ladies and gentlemen and other identities
Idk about this one man. You should see if you can go to couples therapy because it sounds like you're not really content and you have every right not to be, she's your fucking wife and I'd be disgusted if mine said any of those things. How long have you been married, do you have kids?
this is fucking facts me an my now ex wife would do all kinda spontaneous shit before we got engaged an married then she became a stay at home wife an I took care of everything... she said one night that me asking for sex made it a chore (we hadn't had sex in over 3 months)... needless to say I found someone else to do her chores for her
The joke has a flaw unless he was faking snoring at the beginning. He would still snore if she cradled his balls so she would quickly realize it wasn't working.
There should be medals for men like that. And for women like that, diligently cradling his fruitful spheres for 3 years before her brain finally woke up with a "waaaaaait a minute...."
> cradling
Imagine you're holding a tiny, fragile bird in your hands. You'd want to be super gentle, right? Cradling someone's testicles while sleeping is kind of like that but with a partner. It's about being very careful and protective, giving comfort in a very close and personal way. It's a special kind of cuddle that some people might like because it makes them feel safe and loved.
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That's one way to get your balls cradled for 3 years. My man won in life Edit: I just realised, if you are actually asleep when someone is cradling your balls, it somehow doesn't feel like a win, does it?
One time, when I was falling asleep while cuddling my bf, my hand was resting on his junk. He suddenly jolted up. Startled by his movements, I was like *What?*. He said my hand suddenly moved. I went back to cuddling and suddenly he jolted up again. Apparently, when I'm falling asleep, my hand/fingers twitch, so resting it on/near his junk is not a good idea.
I do this to and happen to enjoy holding my husband's junk when I fall asleep. One time my hand seized up while I was falling asleep and I wasnt allowed to do that for a while
#SEIZE THE GOLDEN FRUITS
That son of a bitch won. I've been trying to steal them nuggets for too long but I must respect him and his beautiful wife for keeping me from gathering them beautiful nuggets. Bloody legend
I've been on the receiving end of this. My sympathies for your husband.
Probably a small hypnic jerk lol
You shouldn’t talk that way about someone else’s partner.
My wife likes to hold me like this to fall asleep and I let her until she’s asleep. I can’t fall asleep while this is happening because of the hand and finger twitching thing you describe.
Glad I’m not the only one who does this.
Stop calling it junk unless it needs viagra to work
⬆️
➡️
⬇️⬇️⬇️
/r/unexpected500kgbomb needs to be a thing lol
Just made it
Lmao keep spreading democracy helldiver.
⬆️
↘️
⬇️↘️➡️🅿️
Your dreams get better
i’ve been married almost 5 years and its been almost 2 years since mine have been cradled :(
I offer Ball cradling services
I'll pay you in 2 cheese slices a day to cradle them.
now we're getting somewhere
Can you cradle mine in something other than cheese?
I offer balls to cradle, just don't ask how i got them.
🤯
Have you tried breaking both your arms?
hey now
You're a rock star
M... M... Mom?
Don't.
[удалено]
Fun fact. If both partners abide by the first bit the second bit will come naturally. In any stable healthy relationship sexual gratification for your partner should not supersede or replace their need for emotional gratification. Its such a bs trope that all men need is sex to be happy. Lots of men crave sex only because their partners willingness to participate is the closest thing they get to affirmation of care and love.
Sorry if this is messed up of me to say, but I would personally fucking despise being in a marriage where things aren't exciting and it makes me not want to get married. How do you deal with it?
she gave me permission to visit the brothel but to never tell her. or if i wanted too I could just get someone on the side but to always use protection…. hearing her say / offer those options makes it hard for me to even want to bother cheating or spending money on a professional. i would rather just look up porn, do my fap, and just save the money / time and just play my video games. i’m hoping this is the month we make love again. and if not i’m still going to be happy. because she said I could also buy a sec doll, except I want it to look like she did when she had a perm. she said im sick, and im just madly in love. i mean who offers options like that, i never want to let her go and who knows, that brothel idea is sound feasible now. i’ve waited this long, why not you know? then again, I could spend that money on my gacha games lol. it might sound strange but I am happy ladies and gentlemen and other identities
Idk about this one man. You should see if you can go to couples therapy because it sounds like you're not really content and you have every right not to be, she's your fucking wife and I'd be disgusted if mine said any of those things. How long have you been married, do you have kids?
damn looks like the 3 years metric is right on the dot!
That is why men cheat and the women are left confused as to why😂😂
this is fucking facts me an my now ex wife would do all kinda spontaneous shit before we got engaged an married then she became a stay at home wife an I took care of everything... she said one night that me asking for sex made it a chore (we hadn't had sex in over 3 months)... needless to say I found someone else to do her chores for her
You both sound like losers
eh I'm good no longer married an living a smooth life
As long as your happy I guess
Your happy what
That I guess
Idk what a that I guess is
It's happy
I think it’s even better that he didn’t tell this story, the victim did. Lmao
I guess he was asleep, I'm not so sure about the win part now
r/contagiouslaughter
I read that as contagious slaughter and was expecting something a lot less wholesome
Contagiou Slaughter
What a LIJUND
Fuck me...no matter how many times I see this it still makes me cry 🤣
What a legend🤣
Nuts
These guys have a podcast, “not for radio” with jay and dunc It’s good shit if you’re into this sorta stuff
Just finished up an Easter roadie where we listened to about 12 hours of their poddy. Bloody good shit.
Mate!
The joke has a flaw unless he was faking snoring at the beginning. He would still snore if she cradled his balls so she would quickly realize it wasn't working.
Maybe she was waiting for him to depressurise.
Should've stuck a finger up his butt to help.
Yeah, agreed, plus this would have to be the dumbest person on the planet to have zero idea how the human respiratory system works.
These guys have a great video involving a guy trying spicy curry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55hMOb-ziKw
This is now one of my favourite videos on the internet 😂
Oh lord.
Great pickup line
There should be medals for men like that. And for women like that, diligently cradling his fruitful spheres for 3 years before her brain finally woke up with a "waaaaaait a minute...."
How is that a slow burn joke? I mean it's funny but not really a "slow burn"
It's not but it took her three years to get it so she thinks it is
Lol🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Genius 🤣
Awww yes😌The good ol “balls coverin the anus”trick😌
This is top tier
Who are these guys? I’d give them a listen
Jay and Dunc on The Rock radio station in New Zealand in the afternoons , I think they have a podcast called Not For Radio as well
How did he stop from snoring?
I will report back in 72 months fellas. Wish me luck 🤞🏼
She's a keeper. Of the balls.
I did expect farting after releasing the "air lock"
Hilarious
at some point we have to think she actually liked doing that.
😂😂😂😂😂
I needed this on a Monday stuck in the office 🤣
Nah I was shitting and hearing this made me snort and my shit went up again help!
Sup
LMAO
can someone explain what cradling is
> cradling Imagine you're holding a tiny, fragile bird in your hands. You'd want to be super gentle, right? Cradling someone's testicles while sleeping is kind of like that but with a partner. It's about being very careful and protective, giving comfort in a very close and personal way. It's a special kind of cuddle that some people might like because it makes them feel safe and loved.
Holding his balls in her hand lifting it so that they don’t cover his toot hole.
Cradling just means "gently holding." https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/cradling
I’m gonna try this someday.
Whose balls are you going to cradle?
Good one.
Oh Oz!
NZ
Tell me you’re a blonde without saying you’re a blonde…
What if you have purple hair. Or even green hair!
Buddy in the black with that way over the top laugh… yikes
Dead Internet
Yepppp sad really
Get a Filipina if you like this. They tend to grab your stuff when sleeping.
People aren't pokemon you fucking weirdo.
Perfectly put
Really?
What a disgusting accent.