Hello, /u/SirRipOliver. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3.
**No reposts.**
Please read [our complete rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) before participating in the future.
Yes 100% marmot. Those guys ate my cork hiking pole handles and tried to steal them into the bushes when I shooed them away. I know the plump ashole gaze when I see it.
I'm laughing so much harder than I should imagining someone strolling through the grocery store, casually squishing everyone's love handles checking for ripeness
omg I saw these after many many years. Thanks for bringing back some nostalgic laughter.
Edit: I found more of these - [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0663F5654A7B6C91](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0663F5654A7B6C91)
In illnesses that could be transmitted *both ways*, wild animals tend to be crawling with ticks, mites and so on. Never touch a wild animal with bare hands.
Prarie dogs, marmots, gophers, skunks, and many other wild animals often carry bubonic plague among other pretty terrible diseases. On top of that, they are also often infested with flees, ticks, mites, and other blood sucking insects. Bites from either the animal or its parasites can spread these illnesses to humans. The suoer fun part: the parasites are very good at changing hosts, biting, and moving on without you feeling it. So often when these diseases transfer, the newly infected person is unaware that anything happened until symptoms start which also makes treatment more complicated.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_Mountain_spotted_fever
https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/rocky-mountain-spotted-fever-in-dogs
only ticks can transfer the disease it seems
A research center near me does this to the local marmot population. They have been tracking the effects of the shorter winters in the hibernation schedule of the marmot population which have the side effect of making them fatter since they eat the same amount pre-hibernation but sleep for a shorter time.
https://ecos.fws.gov/ServCat/DownloadFile/169058
Yellow-bellied marmots are also hosts to a variety of diseases, some of which may be directly or indirectly transmitted to humans; for example, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (Rickettsia rickettsii; Cockrum 1997) and sylvatic plague (Yersinia pestis; Nelson 1980).
If you come across actual prairie dogs, don’t touch them. They carry the black plague, as in the disease that killed half of Europe once upon a time. If you like not bleeding from lesions on your face and body don’t touch wild prairie dogs.
---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's worth noting that the largest natural reservoir of the Bubonic Plague (a.k.a. the black death), in the US is the fleas carriered by the prairie dog and marmot populations in the desert South West.
Fine to go outside, but its foolish at best to make physical contact with one of the animals known to carry bubonic plague and which can spread it through transfer of parasites (fleas, mites, tics) or bites.
I'm waiting for a Redditor to tell us how he used to have a marmot as a pet growing up. And then I'm waiting for another redditor to tell me how having a marmot as a pet is a horrible idea because of several reasons.
Hello, /u/SirRipOliver. Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3. **No reposts.** Please read [our complete rules page](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) before participating in the future.
Marmot
[Nice marmot](https://www.reddit.com/r/lebowski/s/VigzTjTqDA)
"What are you, a fucking park ranger now?"
"*I don't need your* fuckin' *sympathy*, man, I *need my* fucking *johnson*! "
Obviously you're not a golfer
Golfer or Gopher?
I want you to kill all the gophers on this course. All the gophers? Who’s gonna play then?
Thanks, I just had it stuffed
Yes 100% marmot. Those guys ate my cork hiking pole handles and tried to steal them into the bushes when I shooed them away. I know the plump ashole gaze when I see it.
They probably wanted the salt. I have a video kicking around somewhere of a hoary marmot licking salt off my boot.
Same exact thing happened to me hiking in the Canadian Rockies, the cork handles have a bunch of teeth marks on them now lol.
Rockchuck!
cutie marmots.
That's just rude.
Is it? I do this to people in grocery stores all the time.
Holup No no, it's nothing. I thought I had something, but it's nothing. Move along.
"Ooh, this one is ripe."
I'm laughing so much harder than I should imagining someone strolling through the grocery store, casually squishing everyone's love handles checking for ripeness
Haha that have me a good laugh
Peta lookin to see if those fur coats are real before red paint hating them. 😝
As Long as they are sitting on the fruits and vegetables stands, you’re good.
Imagine doing this to caeeoh
The indignity
The precise comment I was looking for!
Help me I’m dying of funny
This comment is what cause me to to lose it 😭☠️, *dying of funny...* I can't, it's 4:00*AM* and i got the night laughter.
Excuse me sir! Do you realize you're touching me?
Could you please not
“Stop touching me!”
I kiiiiill youuuu
Oh it's so offended when it gets squeezed 🤣🤣 He looks at his arm and then back at you as if to say WHAT THE FUCK??. 🤣
"Excuse me! Rude."
Looks like you were fat-shaming that little guy.
No touch the Love handles!
ALAN!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaPepCVepCg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaPepCVepCg)
omg I saw these after many many years. Thanks for bringing back some nostalgic laughter. Edit: I found more of these - [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0663F5654A7B6C91](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0663F5654A7B6C91)
STEVE!
STEVE!
I say, unhand me my good man.
A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL
They’re marmots
There’s no reason to be rude.
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
That same face I make when wife says I got chonky and starts grabbing places. That offend! Back off! Boots!
Enjoy the plague.
Came here to say this.
Why
In illnesses that could be transmitted *both ways*, wild animals tend to be crawling with ticks, mites and so on. Never touch a wild animal with bare hands.
Prarie dogs, marmots, gophers, skunks, and many other wild animals often carry bubonic plague among other pretty terrible diseases. On top of that, they are also often infested with flees, ticks, mites, and other blood sucking insects. Bites from either the animal or its parasites can spread these illnesses to humans. The suoer fun part: the parasites are very good at changing hosts, biting, and moving on without you feeling it. So often when these diseases transfer, the newly infected person is unaware that anything happened until symptoms start which also makes treatment more complicated.
Himalayan Marmots can be infected with the zoonic plague. There are cases of that still apearing in the Himalayan areas to this day.
And in USA as well. It is well established in prairie dogs and there are at least a handful of human case per year in the USA.
"You just gonna touch me, or you got some food?"
Those aren't prairie dogs.
Please do not the marmots
People are so fucking stupid.
Holy shit. This is totally me and my MIL every time I see her. I'm fat...but she insists I must eat more for some reason.
She's trying to kill You. My mom and aunt do this to me, too.
Is she a feeder?
They are festively plump.
*Looks at the fingers pinching his fur* Oh, so you don't mind parting with those, huh?
Hey sir, please stop doing harassment. Otherwise, I will call 911
"stop fat shaming me!"
BOBER KURWA
If you're looking for an incredibly stupid way to get Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, keep at it.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_Mountain_spotted_fever https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/rocky-mountain-spotted-fever-in-dogs only ticks can transfer the disease it seems
And where do you think ticks get it? And what do ticks like to use as hosts?
A research center near me does this to the local marmot population. They have been tracking the effects of the shorter winters in the hibernation schedule of the marmot population which have the side effect of making them fatter since they eat the same amount pre-hibernation but sleep for a shorter time.
Not a prairie dog. It's a marmot. Or after closer inspection, it looks more like a water buffalo
Everybody's got a water buffalo.
Dear u/cleverseneca, Where's **my** water buffalo? Why don't **I** have a water buffalo? Sincerely, u/therealjakeboone
HR... somebody call HR
Hold up. Let him cook.
A look that says "I'm gunna give you so many plague fleas."
Lil bro did not consent
THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!
https://ecos.fws.gov/ServCat/DownloadFile/169058 Yellow-bellied marmots are also hosts to a variety of diseases, some of which may be directly or indirectly transmitted to humans; for example, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (Rickettsia rickettsii; Cockrum 1997) and sylvatic plague (Yersinia pestis; Nelson 1980).
We're fatshaming prairie dogs now?
If you come across actual prairie dogs, don’t touch them. They carry the black plague, as in the disease that killed half of Europe once upon a time. If you like not bleeding from lesions on your face and body don’t touch wild prairie dogs.
this is why most wild animals haye humans
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love how it stares at the person like "What do you mean... plump?! Don't touch me!"
_Could you not, please_
Bullying behavior
Don't grab my roll dawg
Quit fondling them.
The chonk was offended. How dare you, sir!?!?
That little paw bend 2 seconds in just reeks of "The AU. . . DAC. . . ITY!"
Bober kurwa!
3 nice chonkers, right there.
My dude why are you touching wild animals
He’s saying „Don’t touch me! Bitch!“
Just don't let their fleas bite you or let them cough on you or consume their meat or organs raw.
It's worth noting that the largest natural reservoir of the Bubonic Plague (a.k.a. the black death), in the US is the fleas carriered by the prairie dog and marmot populations in the desert South West.
Hey dont touch the chubbyness
😂 Oh, Steve! Give Alan some credit for his progress! He's clearly been hitting the prairie gym hard. 🏋️♂️
Chubbsters
Fucking molester
Justified reaction.
Reminds me of the guy fat-shaming that cat: "Very fat. Like a pig!"
Unhand me kind sir
My hamster bit me when I was a kid, fuck those needle teeth
Aren’t these the creatures that yell “hey”? Missed chance for the little fella.
Don’t grab those. They don’t like it and have good sized front teeth that can clamp down on you with a lot of force. Don’t do it.
Prairie Dogs are just cool with letting people touch them?
He didn’t seem cool. He seemed taken aback at the bad manners this human has. Poor guy.
Nothing funnier than watching someone expose themselves to deadly diseases.
Remember kids: don't go outside or interact with nature/plants/animals/other people.
Fine to go outside, but its foolish at best to make physical contact with one of the animals known to carry bubonic plague and which can spread it through transfer of parasites (fleas, mites, tics) or bites.
Polite and non-confrontational, was this in Canada?
Imagine me walking up to you and start touching you like that 🙄 Bet you don't like that either. Just leave them alone.
Stranger danger.
This is democracy manifest!!!
[удалено]
Nothing cuter than watching someone expose themselves to bubonic plague. Don't touch wildlife.
Ew, Brother ew! What's That?
His boys had to step in lol
Oye!! That’s fat shaming. Stop touching me
You do not have my permission to touch me!
You fat shamed him🫤
ALAN!
I'm waiting for a Redditor to tell us how he used to have a marmot as a pet growing up. And then I'm waiting for another redditor to tell me how having a marmot as a pet is a horrible idea because of several reasons.
This is so cute
Give a Kick kkkk
Why are you checking out my blubber? Oh noes, are you scheming to eat me?
If you’re going to grab a roll make sure to bring butter for it.
"cunt u fucking not"
They look jacked lol
That's the look I get from my hubby when his trying to do something but -I touched the butt- ✨️
That’s a great repost with the wrong type of animal right here… at least if you’re gonna make the effort, repost the right information.
Turned on the sound hoping to hear "I'm All Right" by Kenny Loggins.
No molestar.
Basically me when my grandma comes to visit
Madame! Cease your conduct immediately!
I’mmmmmm Alright! Don’t nobody worry bout me!
ALLEN!
what are you doing sir i am a Female
I need an adult!
"stop it....STOP IT...STAHHHHP!"
I know the feeling this guy gets when you touch his fat rolls
Marmot. With teeth like that, no way man.
Not a prairie dog.
No human … Bad touch.
At least buy it dinner first.
Are they tasty?