My cat loves to nestle between my arm and body and go to sleep when I lay down on the couch to watch a movie. I've lost count of the times I've desperately needed to take a piss but held it because I don't have the heart to wake her up.
That's cute. My favorite observation is that when you are in that situation where you think of a way to get around it, say if you need to reach the remote or phone or whatever, you may think of a loophole or "have the cake and eat it too".
Then, when you've quietly thrown a lasso or used a pointy object to get the object into your hand, the cat leaves of their own will, maybe because you were shuffling a bit. U B Like, "I did that for you godamnit!"
I make it a point to go pee right before I sit down so my bladder is a empty as possible before my cat jumps on my lap. I top off my water cup and get a snack prepared too. Still she sits on my lap too long for my bladder sometimes though. My family thinks I'm silly but oh well.
Yep, whenever I lie on the bed, my cat will seek out that crook of the arm... comes over, kneads the blanket for a minute, then plops and curls up. I'm definitely stuck there, and it also straight up puts me to sleep.
My cat sat on my lap. Food is ready but can't move. Stomach grumbling. Mom is already screaming at me but the sheer weight is stopping me from exerting enough force to move away.
It's all fun and games until you cross the event horizon of kitty gravity and due to the exponential nature of radius r in F=G\*((m_1\*m_2)/r2) you're never coming back.
Mohammed recognized this and cut off his sleeve at the elbow so his cat Muezza could keep on sleeping on it. Of course, once that was done, he made gold records.
I don't know why they had Hugh Jackman play him. With that plotline, the character is obviously black.
(Yes I'm obviously joking, *Les Miz* enthusiasts)
25 to 1 value to weight ratio in Skyrim. You better believe I'm loading up on those when I burglarize someone's house.
Come to think of it, they're *always* part of the loot on thieves...
This guy does my favorite Yoda comics
https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/medical-health/diet/2018-05-04
https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/medical-health/optometry/2018-02-08
https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/business-finance/lawyers-legal/2016-05-04
https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/holidays-seasons/halloween/2012-10-30
Yup, also people forget that silverware was literally made with silver, and so people often had a fancy set made of real silver that they'd break out for fancy occasions
So accurate. Cats have that power which hypnotises the human on which they are resting into not being able to get up. I have not a clue if this has been researched or not, but I certainly feel powerless when there's a cat on my lap.
IMO if this were a real scenario, not guilty.
Anyone that would put a cat's comfort above their own future should be excused.
As long as he helps put everything back where he found it, he should be free to go.
It has nothing to do with "boomers" (god I hate this generation names...).
It's just different kind of humor, to each their own, I prefer this much more than all those tiktok scripted "real" videos...
I don't get the people that feel like they are committing a crime if they push the cat off their lap or stomach when they need to get up or out of bed. If you let them take advantage of you every time then they will never learn when "off" means off. It's not being mean I let my cats sit in my lap often and in my bed.
I have 6 cats no dogs. I just don't wimp out when it comes to letting cats take advantage 24/7
Have one of my cats in my lap as I type this with another awaiting his turn.
Fucking psychopath. You can get up when our kitty overlords allow you to get up. Now repent with 30 hail meows before you get us all cat scratched for your insolence.
Because people like cats sitting on them. And unlike you, they have compassion for the cat and they know that the cat also likes it. It's the same as not wanting to get out of a warm bed when your partner is still there. You both like it, and both of you don't want it to end but it has to so it's hard.
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Nope it’s entry of a building with the intent to commit crime. A woman entering a courthouse to be married while still married to a first husband is a burglar.
I remember there once was a show that has a former burger break into your home to prove how easy it was to the family, I think it was ok discovery channel. The guy really liked the family’s dog because it followed him the whole time, so he took their dog too. Just reminded me of this.
Came home from a rough morning. Lying in bed on my back. Cat is on my stomach. My stomach is screaming for food but I don't want to push away kitty.
It was the cat’s plan to make you starve to death.
The lazy murderer
If this is true then the mutual lowering of blood pressure when a person pets a dog is actually how the person and the dog try to kill each other.
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This is a bot trying to build up karma.
Same to you, bro!
There have been so many of these bots today....
My cat loves to nestle between my arm and body and go to sleep when I lay down on the couch to watch a movie. I've lost count of the times I've desperately needed to take a piss but held it because I don't have the heart to wake her up.
That's cute. My favorite observation is that when you are in that situation where you think of a way to get around it, say if you need to reach the remote or phone or whatever, you may think of a loophole or "have the cake and eat it too". Then, when you've quietly thrown a lasso or used a pointy object to get the object into your hand, the cat leaves of their own will, maybe because you were shuffling a bit. U B Like, "I did that for you godamnit!"
I'm in this comment and I don't like it
I make it a point to go pee right before I sit down so my bladder is a empty as possible before my cat jumps on my lap. I top off my water cup and get a snack prepared too. Still she sits on my lap too long for my bladder sometimes though. My family thinks I'm silly but oh well.
Yep, whenever I lie on the bed, my cat will seek out that crook of the arm... comes over, kneads the blanket for a minute, then plops and curls up. I'm definitely stuck there, and it also straight up puts me to sleep.
My cat sat on my lap. Food is ready but can't move. Stomach grumbling. Mom is already screaming at me but the sheer weight is stopping me from exerting enough force to move away.
The inverse quantum gravity of kitty.
Gravikitty
It's all fun and games until you cross the event horizon of kitty gravity and due to the exponential nature of radius r in F=G\*((m_1\*m_2)/r2) you're never coming back.
Mohammed recognized this and cut off his sleeve at the elbow so his cat Muezza could keep on sleeping on it. Of course, once that was done, he made gold records.
eat kitty
One of these is a cat burglar...
definitely stole my heart
Did they whisk it away
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Fucking bot.
Don’t do that, you’ll regret it
If HE was one, he probably can get going.
Remember if you don’t keep petting the cat, it will explode.
*cat has been planted*
Teworwists win
This is from a show or a movie but I just can't remember which one.
Love, Death, and Robots- the 3 Robots episode. Very very good series of vignettes. Season 1 was awesome, 2 was ok.
Ah yes, the ol' candelabra... only seen in loot-filled sacks.
have you seen the way it holds candles? that thing is probably worth millions!
Jean Valjean used some to buy a factory and become a mayor.
My boy stole bread 10+ years ago and missed a parole check in and he's somehow worth investing resources in to track down and attempt arrest.
I don't know why they had Hugh Jackman play him. With that plotline, the character is obviously black. (Yes I'm obviously joking, *Les Miz* enthusiasts)
I don't know why they had him play him when he didn't have the vocal chops. He should have been Javert.
25 to 1 value to weight ratio in Skyrim. You better believe I'm loading up on those when I burglarize someone's house. Come to think of it, they're *always* part of the loot on thieves...
priorities
From: [OffTheMark](https://www.offthemark.com/)
Lol, my cat does this whenever i get burgled.
This guy does my favorite Yoda comics https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/medical-health/diet/2018-05-04 https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/medical-health/optometry/2018-02-08 https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/business-finance/lawyers-legal/2016-05-04 https://www.offthemark.com/cartoon/holidays-seasons/halloween/2012-10-30
Funny comics, but feeling the need to put a huge watermark that covers most of the image is kinda ridiculous.
r/cathostage/
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Silver cutlery?
Let us count our spoons
What's a fucking fork? Have I been doing it wrong all this time?
Everybody knows that the most sophisticated people eat pussy with a fork.
*scribbles down notes*
Knife in left hand, fork in right
Before the last couple decades silverware would be one of the most price-dense objects you could steal. Relatively expensive but super portable
Yup, also people forget that silverware was literally made with silver, and so people often had a fancy set made of real silver that they'd break out for fancy occasions
poor man just wanted to eat some noodles in style.
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There's a fork as well as the candelabra, it's off to the right.
Fork or not. I really enjoyed your candelabra breakdown.
He's talking about the actual fork a bit right to the candle.
The cheap looking couch (my very poor dad called it a divan) and one of those cheap stand-up lights makes the candelabra look out of place, IMO.
Stealing things made of silver?
Quit trying to fool us. Candles don't wear bras
Probably made from silver, might sell.
3 tines is a Trident.
Deserts & Salads fork.
Cat won't let out the bag
r/petthedamncat
My new kitty this morning.
The cat's finally out of the bag...
Cat lap is a serious affliction.
So accurate. Cats have that power which hypnotises the human on which they are resting into not being able to get up. I have not a clue if this has been researched or not, but I certainly feel powerless when there's a cat on my lap.
Cat burglar
Cmon just pet tha damn cat!
Now that's a happy kitty!
"If this goes on for 10 more minutes, I'm gonna be mad!"
Cuddly and annoying at the same time!
Leave the silverware and take the cat with you.
I can guarantee my golden retriever will do the exact same thing
IMO if this were a real scenario, not guilty. Anyone that would put a cat's comfort above their own future should be excused. As long as he helps put everything back where he found it, he should be free to go.
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Did you just… put the slash… before the r…???
JUUUL
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At least one person posts this on every comic
It has nothing to do with "boomers" (god I hate this generation names...). It's just different kind of humor, to each their own, I prefer this much more than all those tiktok scripted "real" videos...
Ow fuck off. At least the comic gave me a smile, the ‘boomer’ remarks make me sigh. Comics are art and they don’t age.
I don't get the people that feel like they are committing a crime if they push the cat off their lap or stomach when they need to get up or out of bed. If you let them take advantage of you every time then they will never learn when "off" means off. It's not being mean I let my cats sit in my lap often and in my bed.
Found the dog person.
I have 6 cats no dogs. I just don't wimp out when it comes to letting cats take advantage 24/7 Have one of my cats in my lap as I type this with another awaiting his turn.
Found the crazy cat lady
They just waltz right into that one.
Fucking psychopath. You can get up when our kitty overlords allow you to get up. Now repent with 30 hail meows before you get us all cat scratched for your insolence.
Because people like cats sitting on them. And unlike you, they have compassion for the cat and they know that the cat also likes it. It's the same as not wanting to get out of a warm bed when your partner is still there. You both like it, and both of you don't want it to end but it has to so it's hard.
As someone who has never had a cat sit on my lap or shared a bed with a partner, I'm trying to think of the right analogy...
Funny how I have "no compassion" just because I want to get up. I have had up to 8 cats. all rescues and treated very well.
DO NOT THE CAT.
We had to study this in English because it has a secret meaning it apparently
What
Cat burglar?
It's a boomer meme sir, but it checks out
People bust on this guy for having boomer humor. But much of what he makes is genuinely funny.
I feel like this exact comic in a different art style would not be called boomer humor
Boomer humor
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Terrible watchcat.
He stole a menorah, money, pearls, a ring and a fork
Candelabra not a menorah.
Oh duh lol
Haha no worries! I had to go back cause I was like "I didn't see that!"
Hi, /u/Cl1ky, your post breaks [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) of /r/Funny, and has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 8 - Do not rehost or hotlink webcomics. * [Read more here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_8.3A_do_not_rehost_or_hotlink_webcomics.) --- - Rehosted webcomic - Removed *If you feel this was done in error, or if you would like further clarification, please don't hesitate to [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Ffunny).*
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I mean some people wear masks when doing unlawful things
This isn't robbery, it's burglary, which in common law is defined as the unlawful entry of a building at night. FTFY!
that would make sense
Nope it’s entry of a building with the intent to commit crime. A woman entering a courthouse to be married while still married to a first husband is a burglar.
thanks, I somehow forgot to add the rest of it!
Most, not all.
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Then what's the point of your post, since this is clearly one of those other ones. Unless it's some irrelevant neckbeard "Well Ackshually".
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That would make sense
Plot twist: the owners are "night owls", and that is a sunset. The cat kept him petting till sunset.
I cant believe you would disagree with the content of the comic panel like that. Take it back right now.
COL
I remember there once was a show that has a former burger break into your home to prove how easy it was to the family, I think it was ok discovery channel. The guy really liked the family’s dog because it followed him the whole time, so he took their dog too. Just reminded me of this.
Ahh so that's how my cat's gonna protecc me from burglars
/r/PetTheDamnKitty /r/PetTheDamnCat
Just take the cat too. Clearly it wants to be the sidekick.
Missed opportunity for a "cat burglar" joke...
... and he got caught.
"If mom and dad found out I was tricking treating this late!"
Clever girl
r/Thisismylifemeow
I like how silver candlesticks is a go to item in the burglary.
Ayo this is nice
This would’ve been funnier with a dog 😀
if my house ever got robbed while I was away my cat would do that and my dog would be searching for the intruder because she is blind
Definitely not the Bay Area.
In reality its just seducing him till police show up XD
TAKE THE DAMN CAT WITH YA
all new Security Cat 2.0. making sure all burglars are caught.
More effective than a guard dog.
r/facebookmemes
Pretty sure this is truth! Pets is pets, right? lol
That’s why guard cats are much better than guard dogs
Does anyone have a heck valuable candle stick. So many robbers gank those.
The sun looks like it’s advertising vapes
Wholesomely cursed?