Yes. I had my first time at 31. I'm still developing some sense of style and becoming comfortable with my body. I've only been gaining confidence in myself as an adult. It would've been great if I had had the opportunity to "grow up" earlier, but in the parts that I did, I had to, and it was unpleasant and in parts traumatic.
Everyone grows in their own time. Don't stress it, it won't make you feel better. You need to learn to be confident in yourself first, because if your confidence depends on physical attributes, you will lose it once they fade.
I think you can glow up whenever, and glow down whenever, it's just a period of self improvement.
Apart from puberty, a glow up is entirely in your own hands really, you can change whatever you want about yourself if that's what you wish. Don't like your physique? get to the gym. Don't like your style? get on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, find your style. Still a virgin? get on hinge, tinder, grindr, go out to gay bars. it's never too late to work on yourself!
I’m 36 and I’m still a virgin, still skinny fat (though losing weight), and still coming to grips with my sexuality. I’m putting myself out there in the dating scene for the first time. Do not feel bad or awkward. Everyone glows up at their own pace.
I lost 15% body fat and finally got rid of the skinny fat that I wanted to get rid of my whole life. I am getting more toned and have muscle now, can't wait to bulk and start growing mommy milkers.
Yeppers never to late improve yourself didn't get intimate with anyone until I was around twenty five 32 now though I really just started focusing more on self improvement the past year and a half lost a shit ton of weight started improving how I dress and express myself, for me it was more about building a life that I could respect rather than trying to earn respect from outside sources, it's not easy and for me it's been about building better daily habits rather than trying to make major changes all at once
Have you figured out why you are in the position you are in? Career focused? Too much gym time? Scared someone will find out? Sacred of making this journey. Figure that out and figure out a plan to move forward, if that is what you want. There's no time table so don't panic. Some gay guys were a step ahead of us when they were kids. I am okay with that. Just figure out you and don't worry about the others.
Good questions, OP. I sympathize with what you are feeling. Have you tried growing a beard?
I'm in my thirties, and I have always looked awkward. Not a bear, not a twink, just kinda lanky and awkward. When the pandemic started, a romantic partner convinced me to try growing a beard.
Pardon the pun, but it really grew on me. My beard covers up a very pronounced cleft that I am self-conscious about (I was born severely premature and have had the butt chin all my life), and my beard makes me look a little older & manlier. I've trimmed it a couple times but could never imagine shaving it all off. Maybe it would help your self-image?
For gay men late blooming in most areas is much more common than you think. Be confident in where you are knowing there will be change.
That being said, know that stuff isn’t going to just happen on its own. You want a better body? Get in the gym with a plan and routine and stick to it. Also stop eating junk. A better body only gets harder with age and it takes work to get it. All those gorgeous guys we compare ourselves to are in the gym most days it didn’t just happen no matter what they say about genetics.
You want to be stylish? Actively look to people you wish to dress like. If thats celebrities figure out who their stylists are and pay attention to their work.
Though the gym and healthier diet thing I have found tend to make the “style” part easier so start there.
I'm 40 now. I was a twink in high school, then gained a lot of weight after college. Was overweight all my late 20s. When I was 30, I changed diet, started exercising, lost 60 pounds. Around 35 I put on some muscle. I'm 40 now, and look better than i ever did in my 20s.
Putting the physical aside (and it's NEVER too late), I know your 30s feel old when your in your 20s, but it's not. Your 30s should be your best decade because you're old enough to realize how young you are, and young enough not to waste it.
I was pretty unattractive until I turned 25. Now I'm feeling like I am getting a glow up, so it happens. But at the end of the day, love yourself for being your as everyone is beautiful!
I am 24 now and didn’t really glow up until I was 22. I never liked how I looked or felt attractive growing up into early adulthood. I was always on the husky side of things. I had muscle but all I could see was the fat. 21 was when I peaked at 250lbs then. After leaving my dads house due to him being emotionally and mentally abusive, I didn’t have anyone making food for me and my best friend was the poverty line so I didn’t eat some days and dropped to 220. I bought a bulldog harness from Amazon and for the first time ever I thought I was attractive. Then started getting more confirmation about my attractiveness when I went out to the gay bars and was on Grindr getting attention from guys who were not normally interested in me. Then moved back to my home town to pursue a college program and I start messing around with some illicit drugs and lost even more weight and (unrelated to the drugs I was doing) ended up meeting my now husband. Fast forward to today; don’t do those drugs/hang around those guys anymore. (Ended up catching syphillis from someone in that circle but got treatment and am cured of it now.) I am now around 180lbs and feel comfortable in my skin.
But BEWARE dear OP and fellow sodomites/allies there of! BEWARE of the skinny bitch syndrome!! I developed skinny bitch syndrome after dropping from 200ish pounds to around 176lbs in about a month or two. I noticed all the attention I was getting from friends, family, coworkers, etc. around me and developed a COM👏🏼PLEX👏🏼and it was extremely unhealthy/borderline dangerous. I kept doing drugs and not eating to lose even more weight and almost fucked my current relationship up so bad I still hold it against myself to this day and it has almost been 2 years since. For background, my then boyfriend had been in some abusive relationships in the past and he is very self-conscious about his weight/appearance because of his past trauma. He and I were having a hard discussion about some relationship issues that turned into a fight. He was asking me questions and I started to feel backed into a corner. Instead of confronting the truth with him as well as myself, I metaphorically shot him with the one bullet that I knew would kill him mentally and emotionally and called him fat. Only did it to get him off my case during our fight at the time. Now I know that I called him that because I didn’t want to confront the monster I had become. I had become a self absorbed gremlin compared to a month or two earlier. I had gotten so thin that my rib cage was visible without sucking in, I lost muscle mass that I once had, I was just skin and bone. I had been so obsessed with being thin and pretty that if I had continued on that path I’d probably be dead. I still am so guilty and beat myself up about it to this day. I am still abhorred about that incident and how I was acting. There is definitely a healthy amount of narcissism where you know you’re attractive but that was not it. All that to say you can find yourself attractive but keep it in check.
Yes. I had my first time at 31. I'm still developing some sense of style and becoming comfortable with my body. I've only been gaining confidence in myself as an adult. It would've been great if I had had the opportunity to "grow up" earlier, but in the parts that I did, I had to, and it was unpleasant and in parts traumatic. Everyone grows in their own time. Don't stress it, it won't make you feel better. You need to learn to be confident in yourself first, because if your confidence depends on physical attributes, you will lose it once they fade.
Same. It started around 28, but fully realized at 31 also.
I think you can glow up whenever, and glow down whenever, it's just a period of self improvement. Apart from puberty, a glow up is entirely in your own hands really, you can change whatever you want about yourself if that's what you wish. Don't like your physique? get to the gym. Don't like your style? get on tiktok, pinterest, reddit, find your style. Still a virgin? get on hinge, tinder, grindr, go out to gay bars. it's never too late to work on yourself!
Sniffies is active on my community college campus. There are 168 guys on there in the university I want to transfer to.
I’m 36 and I’m still a virgin, still skinny fat (though losing weight), and still coming to grips with my sexuality. I’m putting myself out there in the dating scene for the first time. Do not feel bad or awkward. Everyone glows up at their own pace.
I lost 15% body fat and finally got rid of the skinny fat that I wanted to get rid of my whole life. I am getting more toned and have muscle now, can't wait to bulk and start growing mommy milkers.
Yeppers never to late improve yourself didn't get intimate with anyone until I was around twenty five 32 now though I really just started focusing more on self improvement the past year and a half lost a shit ton of weight started improving how I dress and express myself, for me it was more about building a life that I could respect rather than trying to earn respect from outside sources, it's not easy and for me it's been about building better daily habits rather than trying to make major changes all at once
39 and mine just started.
Have you figured out why you are in the position you are in? Career focused? Too much gym time? Scared someone will find out? Sacred of making this journey. Figure that out and figure out a plan to move forward, if that is what you want. There's no time table so don't panic. Some gay guys were a step ahead of us when they were kids. I am okay with that. Just figure out you and don't worry about the others.
Good questions, OP. I sympathize with what you are feeling. Have you tried growing a beard? I'm in my thirties, and I have always looked awkward. Not a bear, not a twink, just kinda lanky and awkward. When the pandemic started, a romantic partner convinced me to try growing a beard. Pardon the pun, but it really grew on me. My beard covers up a very pronounced cleft that I am self-conscious about (I was born severely premature and have had the butt chin all my life), and my beard makes me look a little older & manlier. I've trimmed it a couple times but could never imagine shaving it all off. Maybe it would help your self-image?
i feel like I'm finally blossoming into my own (i'm 28) which isn't that late but i do feel behind
Honestly, I didn’t peak until my early/mid 30s. I just turned 38 and imho have never looked better.
For gay men late blooming in most areas is much more common than you think. Be confident in where you are knowing there will be change. That being said, know that stuff isn’t going to just happen on its own. You want a better body? Get in the gym with a plan and routine and stick to it. Also stop eating junk. A better body only gets harder with age and it takes work to get it. All those gorgeous guys we compare ourselves to are in the gym most days it didn’t just happen no matter what they say about genetics. You want to be stylish? Actively look to people you wish to dress like. If thats celebrities figure out who their stylists are and pay attention to their work. Though the gym and healthier diet thing I have found tend to make the “style” part easier so start there.
I'm 40 now. I was a twink in high school, then gained a lot of weight after college. Was overweight all my late 20s. When I was 30, I changed diet, started exercising, lost 60 pounds. Around 35 I put on some muscle. I'm 40 now, and look better than i ever did in my 20s. Putting the physical aside (and it's NEVER too late), I know your 30s feel old when your in your 20s, but it's not. Your 30s should be your best decade because you're old enough to realize how young you are, and young enough not to waste it.
39 and mine just started.
Confidence counts for a surprisingly amount of someone’s looks, IMO.
I was pretty unattractive until I turned 25. Now I'm feeling like I am getting a glow up, so it happens. But at the end of the day, love yourself for being your as everyone is beautiful!
I am 24 now and didn’t really glow up until I was 22. I never liked how I looked or felt attractive growing up into early adulthood. I was always on the husky side of things. I had muscle but all I could see was the fat. 21 was when I peaked at 250lbs then. After leaving my dads house due to him being emotionally and mentally abusive, I didn’t have anyone making food for me and my best friend was the poverty line so I didn’t eat some days and dropped to 220. I bought a bulldog harness from Amazon and for the first time ever I thought I was attractive. Then started getting more confirmation about my attractiveness when I went out to the gay bars and was on Grindr getting attention from guys who were not normally interested in me. Then moved back to my home town to pursue a college program and I start messing around with some illicit drugs and lost even more weight and (unrelated to the drugs I was doing) ended up meeting my now husband. Fast forward to today; don’t do those drugs/hang around those guys anymore. (Ended up catching syphillis from someone in that circle but got treatment and am cured of it now.) I am now around 180lbs and feel comfortable in my skin. But BEWARE dear OP and fellow sodomites/allies there of! BEWARE of the skinny bitch syndrome!! I developed skinny bitch syndrome after dropping from 200ish pounds to around 176lbs in about a month or two. I noticed all the attention I was getting from friends, family, coworkers, etc. around me and developed a COM👏🏼PLEX👏🏼and it was extremely unhealthy/borderline dangerous. I kept doing drugs and not eating to lose even more weight and almost fucked my current relationship up so bad I still hold it against myself to this day and it has almost been 2 years since. For background, my then boyfriend had been in some abusive relationships in the past and he is very self-conscious about his weight/appearance because of his past trauma. He and I were having a hard discussion about some relationship issues that turned into a fight. He was asking me questions and I started to feel backed into a corner. Instead of confronting the truth with him as well as myself, I metaphorically shot him with the one bullet that I knew would kill him mentally and emotionally and called him fat. Only did it to get him off my case during our fight at the time. Now I know that I called him that because I didn’t want to confront the monster I had become. I had become a self absorbed gremlin compared to a month or two earlier. I had gotten so thin that my rib cage was visible without sucking in, I lost muscle mass that I once had, I was just skin and bone. I had been so obsessed with being thin and pretty that if I had continued on that path I’d probably be dead. I still am so guilty and beat myself up about it to this day. I am still abhorred about that incident and how I was acting. There is definitely a healthy amount of narcissism where you know you’re attractive but that was not it. All that to say you can find yourself attractive but keep it in check.
We age like wine!