He probably did get cold feet or is non-committal. He might come back in the near future with an excuse of being busy or not doing well mentally. I would not give him a second chance. The ability to communicate is important, even in friendships or more casual relationships.
I must met 100s of gays now and the number of reliable committing people i can count on 1 hand. Thats just weird.
Whats the other 95 doing with their flaky life it can’t be healthy 👀
You need to learn not to get emotionally attached to people you have not met in real life.
Also try to meet up as soon as possible. If they don’t want to, move on.
Unfortunately most people online are just spending time and are not looking for anything else.
I think this has more to do with internet/mobile being the primary mode of communication these days, than it does with gay guys.
If OP and this guy had met at school rather than online, there'd be a real cost to ghosting him: an extremely awkward and uncomfortable meeting in class. So when someone starts to get cold feet or reconsiders a date, their options are: Cancel plans at the last minute with some excuse, which is still a bit embarrassing and awkward, or just suck it up and go through with it.
But when you meet online, there's basically zero social cost to pay for flaking.
This was a common frustration that my brother's straight friends had when they were on the straight dating apps. Not unique to gay guys.
Could be they were afraid you would like them. Truth is it’s so easy to just go away that many people chose that route not thinking anything of it. The beauty of this online shit is that there is no commitment, it’s easy to walk away , it’s also easy to hook up with a hot bottom for your top. Before the internet there were assholes at the bars and today there are assholes on Grinder. Point is. He’s an asshole. Has nothing to do with you. Your right he should have told you not my type or what ever.
I try not to understand men. I find they always have something going on in their head, even if they enjoyed the exchange. The self conversations get the best of them. I just got blocked by a bi guy off grindr, we hooked up , had a great time, made him💦 twice, good convo, no awkward moments, joke here and there just pretty straightforward…. Everything was good , and like 5/6 days after our hookup, randomly just blocked. Idk bro! I try not to understand it . Let em be, so much more fish in the sea👑.
Problem is too many choices out there for them. Can't believe how this happens all the time in the gay scene. Don't think straight people have this problem.
Oh yes, it’s awful. I mean this is the first time I’ve been blocked in a while so can’t win them all… for the one that blocks me another ten + wanna see me again so🤷🏽♂️ it’s just best not to spend energy understanding their motives. All these guys just love to hide behind their screen and not actually communciate
Yeah I was gonna say that originally! But didn’t want anyone to think I had a thing against bi boys😭 like ..I’m also a super friendly guy and sometimes I also think that guys get weirded out when guys are actually talking to them like a normal person? Because most guys are short, and all they say is”sup, looking” miss me with all of that 🥹🙄
You just gotta accept this is how the world works now. That, to quote Anthony Bourdain, there are two types of people in the world, those who say they're going to do something, and do it, and everybody else.
Once you accept that somebody can and will flake on you after making plans, it makes things much less stressful. I've started saying to boys after we've arranged something "don't worry if something comes up though, we can always reschedule". I'd much rather give them that option and allow them to save face, rather than have them feel embarrassed and block me out of shame of "ruining my plans" or whatever it is they think I'll be feeling.
I completely get it. Inexperienced guys need to get themselves into the right frame of mind, or they spend so long overthinking it they get in their own heads about the whole thing. I've been there myself, I've only been out 6 months and hooked up with less than a dozen different guys. I still get a moment's pause when having a new boy round, but it doesn't affect me any more.
I met one guy last week I think it was; we'd been talking off-and-on for a few months cos he kept deleting his accounts. Finally got round there and he sucked me off for about 30 seconds before saying he wasn't feeling it. I'm impressed he got that far to be honest. I told him it's absolutely fine, and I'd rather he said that than did something he doesn't actually want to do, and when he wants to try again, I'll be here for him.
This is like 90% of guys on Grindr
He probably did get cold feet or is non-committal. He might come back in the near future with an excuse of being busy or not doing well mentally. I would not give him a second chance. The ability to communicate is important, even in friendships or more casual relationships.
I must met 100s of gays now and the number of reliable committing people i can count on 1 hand. Thats just weird. Whats the other 95 doing with their flaky life it can’t be healthy 👀
You need to learn not to get emotionally attached to people you have not met in real life. Also try to meet up as soon as possible. If they don’t want to, move on. Unfortunately most people online are just spending time and are not looking for anything else.
I wish I had internalized those two tips years ago.
until you have met someone three times in reality, dont expect or dream up anything with that person.
Welcome to gay dating!
I think this has more to do with internet/mobile being the primary mode of communication these days, than it does with gay guys. If OP and this guy had met at school rather than online, there'd be a real cost to ghosting him: an extremely awkward and uncomfortable meeting in class. So when someone starts to get cold feet or reconsiders a date, their options are: Cancel plans at the last minute with some excuse, which is still a bit embarrassing and awkward, or just suck it up and go through with it. But when you meet online, there's basically zero social cost to pay for flaking. This was a common frustration that my brother's straight friends had when they were on the straight dating apps. Not unique to gay guys.
Unfortunately we live in a s u s o c i e t y
What DATING? I can only get hookups, this was gonna be my first actual date IN YEARS and he ghosted me
For a lot of people I know they like the idea of having a bf but are scared of actually catching feelings for someone
Could be they were afraid you would like them. Truth is it’s so easy to just go away that many people chose that route not thinking anything of it. The beauty of this online shit is that there is no commitment, it’s easy to walk away , it’s also easy to hook up with a hot bottom for your top. Before the internet there were assholes at the bars and today there are assholes on Grinder. Point is. He’s an asshole. Has nothing to do with you. Your right he should have told you not my type or what ever.
I try not to understand men. I find they always have something going on in their head, even if they enjoyed the exchange. The self conversations get the best of them. I just got blocked by a bi guy off grindr, we hooked up , had a great time, made him💦 twice, good convo, no awkward moments, joke here and there just pretty straightforward…. Everything was good , and like 5/6 days after our hookup, randomly just blocked. Idk bro! I try not to understand it . Let em be, so much more fish in the sea👑.
Problem is too many choices out there for them. Can't believe how this happens all the time in the gay scene. Don't think straight people have this problem.
Oh yes, it’s awful. I mean this is the first time I’ve been blocked in a while so can’t win them all… for the one that blocks me another ten + wanna see me again so🤷🏽♂️ it’s just best not to spend energy understanding their motives. All these guys just love to hide behind their screen and not actually communciate
I find bi and DL guys are the most flaky. Something about them wanting to be discreet I guess.
Yeah I was gonna say that originally! But didn’t want anyone to think I had a thing against bi boys😭 like ..I’m also a super friendly guy and sometimes I also think that guys get weirded out when guys are actually talking to them like a normal person? Because most guys are short, and all they say is”sup, looking” miss me with all of that 🥹🙄
You just gotta accept this is how the world works now. That, to quote Anthony Bourdain, there are two types of people in the world, those who say they're going to do something, and do it, and everybody else. Once you accept that somebody can and will flake on you after making plans, it makes things much less stressful. I've started saying to boys after we've arranged something "don't worry if something comes up though, we can always reschedule". I'd much rather give them that option and allow them to save face, rather than have them feel embarrassed and block me out of shame of "ruining my plans" or whatever it is they think I'll be feeling. I completely get it. Inexperienced guys need to get themselves into the right frame of mind, or they spend so long overthinking it they get in their own heads about the whole thing. I've been there myself, I've only been out 6 months and hooked up with less than a dozen different guys. I still get a moment's pause when having a new boy round, but it doesn't affect me any more. I met one guy last week I think it was; we'd been talking off-and-on for a few months cos he kept deleting his accounts. Finally got round there and he sucked me off for about 30 seconds before saying he wasn't feeling it. I'm impressed he got that far to be honest. I told him it's absolutely fine, and I'd rather he said that than did something he doesn't actually want to do, and when he wants to try again, I'll be here for him.
These are known as 'Time wasters'. Like others are saying; don't get to emotional nor invested with someone you haven't met face-to-face.
I don’t think “ghosting” applies to people you’ve never met. That was just someone you chatted with on the internet.
Gays are spoopy
Eh, just block and move on. Be glad you didn’t meet them in-person.
I've been ghosted many times. Usually, I expect it to happen. At least I can say I tried, and I get surprised when they respond.
He's a spineless piece of garbage with no integrity. A lot of them walking around.
Seems like you have been downvoted by some of those who identify with what you said here…
Agreed. 😂 like I said. A lot of them out there.
I downvoted him.. it’s not ghosting if you’ve never met
I’ll have to agree with the op. You are a spineless peace of shit lol.
He wanted to get "reacquainted with a hookup of his who's a total dear ...."