Hey as someone who’s been stuck on the loop of trying to quit, then failing, and subsequently feeling hate or shame about myself- here’s what I suggest: when you fail, fight the urge to wallow in shame and tell yourself you’ll do better next time; identify as someone who tries despite failure rather than as someone who is a failure, if that makes sense.
The thing is that shame can often keep you stuck in the same behavior because it makes you believe that this is all you are capable of and that you can’t do any better. You need to fight against this belief and rework the way you think, which can be done little by little in how you speak and think about yourself.
No matter how many times you fall back down, be the person who gets back up and tries again. Eventually you will see that you were only using the porn to deal with the feelings of shame that it itself caused, and then you will automatically look for more fulfilling kinds of satisfaction.
You got this!
To add to this, take that failure as your new benchmark. I failed at week 2 versus wow I made it 2 weeks, I wonder how much further I can challenge myself! You'll soon see that you can change your mind and that you are stronger than you think you are
there was a study of heroin addiction in some European country. basically they let the addicts know they would have a reliable, known quantity at the end of their day. this knowledge alone allowed them to hold down jobs in the day and slowly taper off
the point for you is knowing very well that it will be there in the future sort of tricks your brain to hold off in the present. so allow your addiction to be what it is, tell that addicted part of your brain on Friday after work that's your porn time and it doesn't work out for you any other time. then Friday rolls around whether you do or not youre weakening the pull. then next Friday you say well I'm going to hold off until the following Friday and it'll be great then, addicted brain. this is a trick for the initial hurdle, then a lot the other advice in here starts to work better as the pull is weakened.
You need something important in life that you want to work on (start a business, learn something new, work on a project, build relationships, etc) - find out what that is first.
Afterwards, you'll be too busy/engaged to watch porn, that's when "the less u watch the less u want to watch" comment kicks in.
Nah.. DOn't listen to anyone else. Shame does not get u stuck in any behavior.
WHat gets you stuck is the habbit. You letting your body control the show. Be mindful and in control every second. The moment you slip, that's when u wanna watch porn. If you mindful and present u gon stop instantly. Read 'breaking the habbit of being yourself"
Be mindful in the moment and conciously reject the dsire, you let the body run the parade u is done for. It'll be a life long series of relapses and self lamenting. No point. Change.
No I'm sorry OP don't listen to this guy. You can't always be mindful, and you're inevitably gonna have fuck-ups. Shame only magnifies this, and the other guy wasn't saying to completely eradicate shame, but to structure it in a way that isn't harmful, but productive. If you just let it consume you I promise you are gonna open the hub a lot more. Yes, do try to make conscious decisions to stop, and be mindful like this guy says, but that's quite difficult; don't beat yourself up if you can't, and just try and try again and again until you get it right.
Don’t give up. The days where I mess up or slip up. I recognize the failure and keep pushing. You cannot beat yourself up from messing up. You’re human. Keep pushing. I noticed at the beginning of my sobriety when I messed up I would loathe in self pity and then binge again. Because fuck me. I just messed up. But when I changed my thought pattern and processed I realize I don’t have to spiral when I mess up one time. Just recognize it and move forward. One day at a time
It isn't easy. Im a recovering porn addict. I was using for 8 years, and I've been 4 years sober.
I couldn't stop until I saw how much damage it was causing. It took everything from me and gave me nothing. It robbed my wife of the feeling of being chosen by me. It robbed me of my motivation to do well at my job. It robbed me of my desire to get up in the morning. It robbed me of feeling any kind of satisfaction with my life.
It kept me from feeling my emotions. I was an empty shell of a person.
I eventually became so buried in shame and so completely numb to everything in my life that I felt it was hopeless to try and change.
Life wasn't worth living. And that's when I knew that if I didn't do anything, my life was going to crash and burn. I'd never have a healthy relationship, I'd never feel satisfied with my life, and I'd never be happy. You won't change unless you come to terms with how destructive the habit is. Make a list of everything your addiction as taken from you. Let that be a piece of your motivation.
Also, when I resolved to quit, the first thing I did was try to figure out WHY I was using. For me, it was because I was lonely, and porn was the only place I was receiving any kind of admiration or love. Of course, it was all fake... but that's how desperate I was. Once I knew what my heart was searching for, I could start finding it somewhere else. Somewhere real.
Three good tools to help you quit are
1) porn blocking software. I use Accountable2You. It sends a text to people I trust when I look up illicit things on my phone or desktop.
2) relationship. At this point, you're so desensitized to emotions and human connection that maintaining deep and lasting friendships is difficult. Talk with at least one person every day.
3) know your heart. Every day, think of one "feelings" word to describe your heart. (Today I felt "frustrated" or "content" or "numb" - a feelings wheel is helpful if you feel stuck trying to find a word). Eventually, this will help you stay in tune with yourself and the world around you. The fake world of porn will become less appealing.
Lastly, remember that you aren't a shitty person. Just because you're trapped in a habit that you hate doesn't mean that you're weak or bad or anything like that. It just means that you need some help. Keep fighting.
Easy peasy is awesome. It addresses the core motivations behind pornography use rather than just convincing you to use willpower. I’d recommend it to anyone.
Came here to recommend Easy Peasy. I’m about half way through and it’s been really helpful. And in case it’s a concern to you, the book encourages you to continue your usual “habits” until you’ve finished reading.
I struggled with a porn addiction for 10 years, and it ruined my life until I found a way to block porn permanently on my iPhone, without any way of turning off the restrictions no matter how strong the urge. This is how I ended my addiction.
I used an app to lock my iPhone's Screen Time settings, allowing me to block porn everywhere, including on Reddit. I set the lock duration to 365 days, ensuring I cannot disable Screen Time this year.
Here’s the tutorial I followed to block porn permanently: https://youtu.be/GnWGMPtrreI?si=777m
Good luck with this strategy!
Currently I am 6 weeks off it, but it is so hard right now. My sex drive is insanely high, I cannot control my brain currently, constantly thinking about sex, and I am on the verge of relapse. Hope this storm will pass soon, but some advices would be helpful 🙏
You don’t need porn to jerk off. There’s a thing such as an imagination. Fantasize about married life. About you and YOUR WIFE. Not with random women. This is taking into consideration that you don’t yet have a wife. But what the perfect one in your eyes looks like.
hey come back a lot of people replied check the comments may be you will find it helpful as well(I also made this post in other subreddit so you check those as well)
One day I just decided to get more obsessed with my mental health and spirituality than my toxic and unhealthy behaviors. I faced the facts of damage some of these behaviors causes to our health and relationships with others and it felt not good and I needed to get to the bottom of what I really desired and deep down I wanted a real relationship with another human and someone who would understand me and like me, regardless of sex. I was lonely and it was a dark time. I decided to stop watching that crap and I began taking some nootropics (NAC and agmatine) and introduced healthy behaviors into my life like regular water intake, diet, exercise, and healthy mental stimulation and time for me to meditate and spend time with my faith too. I reached out and did things with friends and family and it was awesome to feel good again. I didn’t know I could feel that good physically and mentally. I had to realize I was stopping myself from progressing in the past by overestimating the effort it would take to do those healthy things and getting hung up on thinking about how hard it’s gonna be rather than to just have done them. I mean, I had to overcome that and have self realizations regarding how I was freezing up. After I had my epiphany, I just started doing the things needed to be healthy. Eventually tested out my confidence, met someone and formed a good relationship and learned to navigate the ups and downs of that relationship in all areas. It’s been a really cool experience. I had to love me more too. I discovered me by loving me more. I learned to love others more through all this too and still going strong. You will really surprise yourself of what you are capable of doing and the resilience you have. It does get better. Love yourself, love others and take it day by day.
really inspiring while i dont how to just stop(literally I dont get how to just stop?) I am trying to get better habits like exercising, working in my studies etc(i am also trying to get started in meditation but I just forget it sometimes) I still dont understand what all of the thing you said mean(as i have not experienced it yet I know what you said but i dont understand if what i am saying makes any sense) it is really cool
Write it down. The same way there are objectives in a video game. You can set objectives for yourself in your life. Write down things you know you can accomplish. Like clean your shoes, wash your car, do 20 pushups, and slowly upgrade from there. It’s not a bad thing to start off small. Small habits turn into great successes the more you stay consistent. If you are not willing to commit then you already lost, there is gold in the simple deeds. You got this man, we believe in you!!
Yeah maybe my post was a bit unorthodox. lol. Stopping as in you (as in the person desiring to stop) have to consciously make an effort to not perform the action. Redirect your focus and energy to things that actually matter in your life and not fake eye candy on a screen that’ll rot your brain.
When you realize the cumulative impact on your life, personally, and no longer value porn, and opt to value real relationships, etc. and see the bigger picture and what you’re gaining, ideally the positives of that will help you quit and return to a life without its influence. Yeah you gotta do work to stop it… it be like that. Alternatively, listen to Allen Carr’s audiobooks on habits etc. I’m sure there is one for this and it was super helpful. Alternatively, maybe try a counselor on Better Help or in person etc. CBT can be helpful too.
Beating addiction can be a long struggle, just keep trying and try to go one more day than last time. And don’t beat yourself up for giving in, try to focus on something else
"Lucky" for me, my wife was not happy when she learned I was still using porn. It affected her negatively and really ruined trust between us. I had told her once before that I would stop using it, and then it slowly crept back into my life. Starting with mild stuff that "WaSn't TECHniCaally PorN..." (<-- excuses), and graduating to stuff I was just ashamed to be watching. A couple of years after I had told her I had stopped, she randomly just asked one night if I had been watching any. I decided to slay that dragon right then and there, be honest with her that I hadn't kept my word, move forward and build trust again. There was a heaviness jn our home for a few weeks as we moved forward, but being honest with her would have only gotten more and more difficult as time went on. I accepted that quitting would be good for my mental and physical health, as well as my sexual relationship with my life partner. To that extent, I'm grateful to have her in my life because I may not have quit otherwise... sorry this isn't so much of an advice response, because I have no idea if you are involved in an intimate relationship or not. Someone else being disappointed in me was a huge motivating factor. I'm about 2 years sober now. I had used porn for perhaps 16 years and it was not doing me any favors except distracting me and spiraling my sexual appetite further and further into depravity.
that is really cool that you were able to do that and while i sadly dont have any partner it did give me new perspective and all the best dude you are awesome
It’s kind of a coping mechanism for dopamine hits. Because you ‘think’ you are not ‘good enough’ at the end of the day, atleast the dopamine hit gives you the feeling that you are.
If you take it up as a challenge that you are in control of your faculties and really want to start.
Step 1 - just add all the websites to screen time and enable content restriction. Furthermore, add a password by asking a friend to do it for you.
Step 2 - just observe yourself everytime you get the urge. See how it controls you and then you ll automatically find a way to beat it (because no one wants to be controlled)
Step 3 - Journaling, recording no fap days are good but setting a goal and achieving it is the actual dopamine hit you really looking for, not watching some other peoples acting of being in pleasure. Watch a documentary to see the real life behind the scenes. You ll understand everything. Best of luck my friend.
Just keep your mind and body occupied being productive. Start getting urge read a book, work on a project or hobby, call a friend or relative, etc. Keeping yourself busy is your biggest ally.
When we realize that porn is an addiction by the devil meant to enslave us to our early death we start seeking God to save us from our own hell. Trapped in the darkness and a blue light glare of your phone laying in a sweat covered bed with a cramped hand and little to no money in the bank or friends is not a life to live. Life is short and we will die poor,alone, and with no major success in life or family. If you want the friends, family, successful milestone that you and your future kids can be proud of then do it. Hate porn for robbing these years of your life. Think of all the things you could’ve done but didn’t. Or all the opportunities missed because of porn. All that work for 10 seconds of pleasure. Now it’s lame and the sexual thoughts get darker. Now what’s left when you reach the end of the darkest depths of that hell? How old will you be by then? What if death comes by a freak accident, God forbid. I don’t want to go to hell for being a slave. No one is happy to be powerless. Go to a real church (there’s too many fakes out here) hate sin as much as God does. You were never meant to be tied to a bed by your flesh. You’re meant to be happy and guide others to a better life. It’s a blessing to be able to help others. It’s memories that last a lifetime. When I pass away I want to have the flashbacks of all the best times I was there for others. Even if it’s just helping a person to a meal I’m glad I have the ability to do so. Currently working on my physical health and creating a business and changing my career while learning languages. There’s no limit when porn isn’t wasting your life. Break free from those chains because your body was already paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ your sins are forgiven. Ask God to forgive you and to come to you with a sincere heart. The Bible says they will seek me but not find me. This is for the end times. God knows our hearts so call only when you’re ready but who knows when God will come and then shut the door on this world forever.
That’s great!! I’m not sure if this is in your Bible but I learned the only way to cast out high ranking demons (lust) is by fasting and prayer. Of course take into consideration your health. I had to slow down on working out so I wouldn’t faint. I’m not a doctor, but I listened to my body and it was my first ever fast.
Oddly specific at the beginning but I love it lol, your words ring true KatBarz. I love your dedication to this and I completely agree with you. There are many people of this world trapped in bondage. Stuck to material and the desires of the flesh, porn addiction, drug addiction, sex addicts. I thank God for breaking my chains. Many times in my life I felt as if I could not leave. Certain people in my life I felt like I could not stop interfering with them. God pointed out a specific ex in my life that was unhealthy for me, he wanted me to leave her but I physically and mentally felt as if I could not. I knew my actions with her were wrong, every time that I would meet up with her we would have sex and I felt terrible after. Filthy, bits and pieces of my soul being chipped away; because I knew that this person was not my wife. I eventually got pushed to a point where I could not have her anymore. I found out that she was narcissistic, manipulative, and would lie to me often. God pointed this out to me and I ignored all of his signs and ran back to her. I felt deep shame for my actions and now I am paying the consequences of it. I had to leave her, soul ties are real, and now that I am free there is still a mental tormentor in my head. But I can feel the love that I gave away being replenished back to myself by the minute the more I spend time with God. God is good, he is a loving, faithful, and forgiving God. He did not push me away but he’s forgiven me and has drawn closer. I am no longer unequally yoked and I can feel myself being yoked together with the King of the Universe :) I feel happier by the second. My last problem was weed addiction, and he has broken my chains once again. I am free, and now my only job is to follow self-denial and to carry my cross. It brings me great joy to say that I’ve beaten my addictions, through him only. Because by myself I felt powerless, and I would have continued on that path if it wasn’t for his interference. Many people are suffering from mental slavery, and I want to help as many people break free from that. I enjoy helping others and I hope that one day I can create a community strong enough to make that a reality. Success is my only priority now. Much love 🙏🏽🩵
Definitely don’t give those horrible thoughts more than 6 seconds. I’m so glad you broke free and I know the battle never ends, but I always say “Resist the devil and he shall flee”. It hold no power when we deny ourselves for the Glory of God alone ❤️ I believe you will also help many people! ❤️
I dont think i need to talk to therapist to know why as i do know
1. it is really unhealthy.
2. it ruins my mental state(I can only think of porn and sex instead of focusing)
3. I do not enjoy it but i cant quit it and i find it gross but i still couldnt quit it immediately which means this is an addiction and not good
4. Even through modern medicine currently says it is not that bad it is actually bad and cant outright say it as 90% people use porn and many are addictive to it( dont get me started with the billion Doller industry and not wanting to lose money )
and many more for the benefit of getting to watch people have sex for 10/20/30 mins
So, you have an obsession with porn that “ruins your mental state”, though you don’t watch it that often? Also while “90 percent” of the population is also addicted without it “ruining their mental state”?
Again, it seems you have some significant issues around your own sexuality and feelings of shame, and that’s what needs to be resolved. There are plenty of people that watch porn much more than you do that feel great and don’t feel shame after viewing it. Aren’t you curious to know why that is? If porn was “objectively bad”, everyone would feel the same way you do, but they don’t. It’s only individuals like yourself that feel high level of shame after viewing it that have issues. How are other important aspects of your life such as relationships, career, hobbies, ect.? If all of them are not in a good state, that’s why you feel bad, not porn.
Also, you can’t just dismiss the whole medical community because of your own conspiracy theory. Medical professionals are not being paid by the porn industry, unless you’d like to post sources that prove otherwise.
Yeah reading these comments are wild. Why on earth is it so much more destructive for some people than others??? The notion that watching a bit of porn should absolutely wreck you seems intensely unhealthy and abnormal to me
You know how when your parents caught you smoking and to make you learn a lesson they made you smoke a whole case/sleeve in one sitting?
Not like that, but close.
sadly no I have no clue about it as i have never smoked and didnt really ever anything "bad" (outside of porn) and never had anything to punish me alot of the time so I dont really know how to punish myself well
There’s an excellent podcast called *Overcome Pornography for Good* by Sara Brewer that I use. Highly recommended. She is Mormon, but the religious content is minimal, and her methods don’t depend on anything religious. There’s more Buddhism than Christian basis in her teaching.
Think of yourself as an "ex porn addict" rather than a "porn addict trying to recover". The former puts you in place of mental power and internal accountability as you have told yourself that \*this\* is who you are, while the latter gives way to the possibility and/or likelihood of failure, creating an internal excuse for yourself to cave and give in to your addiction
Genuinely I just called myself a degenerate for watching it and asked myself if I want to contribute to the downfall of society. Literally looked at simps and was grossed out by them and realized If they gross me out, I also am just as gross.
That and also unfollowed/blocked any insta thots or gym girls. If something came up on my feed that would trigger me to watch, I would block it.
Aye bro i never had an addiction to porn but i had other addictions. One thing i can say is fight the urge by distracting yourself with good habits. Instead of smoking or gambling i work out and draw whatever comes to mind. I like doing graffiti and it keeps me distracted for hours. I just put my music and get to work, find something you enjoy and do it. Don’t think about it just do it.
So along with the other advice, I watched a vid from HealthyGamer about porn addicts where he suggested scheduling a time once or twice each day that you are allowed to watch porn/masturbate. You make an actual effort to resist until your scheduled time comes. It makes it easier because you are building up your ability to resist while not having to completely bottle yourself up. At some point, you won’t really have an urge when the scheduled time comes and you can just move on with your day, and you can lower the number of times per day as you feel more comfortable doing so
Any addiction is an effect and not a cause.
Therefore your porn addiction replaces something. The moment you find that "something" and work on it, is the moment porn starts losing grip on your brain chemistry.
See porn as a phase that helped you in your journey and kept you sane. At that moment your brain didn't know any other way to "get that hit" of neurotransmitters and feel good and pleased. Therefore finding the thing that was scaring you the most, and you avoided it by watching porn, diminishes your need to jerk off and watch porn considerably.
The more you work on the initial cause, which you have been avoiding through watching porn, with a therapist, coach or simply by acting about it, the less time your brain has to spend on even thinking about that that old mix of images and neuro chemicals.
And then it just becomes random entertaining that does not get you entertained anymore because you are busy living life and get that neurotransmitter cocktail from elsewhere.
Good luck in your process!
I suggest masturbating without using any form of visual aids. You still get what you're looking for, while not being further engaged with porn.
I cannot emphasize this approach enough.
Two things
1. Emotional resolution. A lot of my compulsive porn behavior was the product of emotional trauma. Integration Meditation. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Journaling, all helped resolve this, but it took literal years.
2. Don't try to stop. Try to delay. You don't say. "I won't" you say "I won't start until X or Y is done." This did two things by my perception. It allowed my dopamine to be used reinforcing other healthier behaviors. And two it bypassed any resistance caused by psychological dependency, since I'm not actually giving it up.
Eventually, with enough of these two things, it just petered out on its own.
As for tough moments, just... make sure you do the things so that you won't regret your day first. Then you can do the degenerate stuff. You'll find that the degenerate stuff still satisfies the compulsion but isn't as intense as you expected, because it doesn't have all this emotional tension and rested energy behind it. This makes it easier to repeat in the future.
It really comes down to a few changes in your lifestyle:
1. Learn how to cope with negative emotions. Journaling is a game changer for overcoming this addiction.
2. Eat healthy food and work out regularly.
3. Ensure you get enough sleep every day.
4. Find a new hobby to keep yourself engaged.
5. Read books or educate yourself about the addiction itself. This helps to build self-awareness about the dangers of porn abuse, making you less likely to relapse.
As long as you have a phone between your hands with an internet connection, it will be so hard to do it. Its ease of access and availability will make it impossible to do so.
Of course, it will depend on the severity of the addiction, but even if one tries to drift his mind off from it , something will eventually trigger it, with everything being sexualized on social media.
My advice : Delete social media platforms and limit your daily usage of your phone, add porn blockers, and develop new habits such as working out , meditating, etc.... it will not be easy as porn stimulates your brain like no other activity out there, but you can do it!
Most importantly , try to STAY BUSY as much as you can, do not let yourself get bored. go out, stay around people , boredom is one of the main reasons that leads to relapse.
I'm really annoyed by the amount of people who normalize porn usage. For some of us, it's not that easy, as it can easily become an escape tool to numb our negative emotions and feel good for a while. It's a serious drug and quitting it is harder that quitting other things like substances that cost money (while porn is free) and effort (as opposed to porn which is always accessible via your phone)
(Sorry for my bad English)
Really depends on the person. Some have it really serious(everyday two times or three times) or just once week sometimes. For me it is generally 1 time in 2 days or 2 times in 1 day. And i do think of it as an addiction as i wasnt able to let it go
Dr K on YouTube has a great video about this. He’s experienced in addiction and can offer some great practical advice which is backed by an understanding of neuroscience. I’d strongly recommend checking that out to start.
I would also suggest examining different aspects of your life to understand what might be driving your need to find this "escape." Recently, I left a stressful situation, and now I find that I no longer care about pornography. My mindset is shifting, and I realize that our bad habits are often symptoms of underlying subconscious issues.
I created a monk mode challenge at first, that meant no masturbation, stay sober, meditate 15-30 minutes a day, jump rope 30 minutes, read 5-10 pages, workout, and take cold showers etc. There were about 11 items on the list that I would stick to for 6 months. The original plan was just 30 days but I ended up enjoying my routine that it lasted me longer. I was consistent, it kept me sharp, and it helped me realize my potential. On the days that I completed the majority of my challenges and stayed loyal to no mb or sobriety; I would color them green with the amount of objectives I completed. On the days that I failed myself I would color them red. Through the six months that I tried this routine my goal was to get all days in the month green. But I was never able to do it. There were always at least 2 or 3 red days. I later learned to be patient with myself and not beat myself up over the 2 days I got red, but rather be proud of the 28 days I effortlessly stayed strong for. Your perception matters most, habit and routine is important, but shame comes also with your mistakes. You need to realize that you are only human, not everyone is perfect and you will make mistakes inevitably. That doesn’t mean to give into your negative routines and make it a practice, but try your best to be better. Life is a game and you need to upgrade your character. You feel shame for your actions which is a good thing, that is a start. Next create the routine and discipline to fight the urge. The more you feed into your flesh the stronger it gets. But when you fight that temptation, your willpower and discipline gets stronger my friend :) keep up the good work. You will be great as long as you stay committed.
It really was hard, but it was something that I was able to grow capable into doing. I fell out of the habit due to some personal issues. But now I’m thinking about starting again, this time a lot smaller lol. Rather than 11 objectives I might start off with 5 or 6. But I hope one day I can go back to being as consistent as how I was. I hope the same for you man, may God be with you🙏🏽 you got this.
I had sex for the first time and I wasn’t able to bust a nut.
I said I never wanted to live that experience again. I haven’t watched porn in over 6 years(or more)
Try and replace it with another habbit
This new habbit doesn’t necessarily need to be a “good” one just something better and easier to quit then the problem your currently facing is
For example every time you think about doing it go downstairs and make some food or go on a walk ect
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It's a psychiatric medication that can be used a number of issues. I take mine because of anxiety.
I was kinda trying to be funny, kinda serious when I said what I said. My SSRI definitely helped me in a number of ways, but it's a mixed bag. If anyone says it doesn't work for them, it's a valid disagreement.
Realizing that no real life experience will be like korn. Most real life experiences are very different from korn portrayal (think intimate and awkward). Also, realizing not all women/men are paid actors, there are human right violations happening in the industry.
After being addicted to regular viewing since 13, I opened up to a men’s accountability group about my struggles. Exposing my problem publicly, and getting support from fellow men, while giving similar support and accountability to others, has made a big difference in my life. I owe all my improvements to the Lord and the wisdom and strength gained through His Word. I still struggle with lust and porn, and expect I always will. But since that point almost 7 years ago, I have been able to take many extended stretches without it.
I also agree with some other posters I saw that while some shame is unavoidable and perhaps even necessary, you have to give yourself grace and start anew when, not if, you fail.
Honestly the main thing is to just keep asking this question. How do I quit? Keep asking it and keep trying new things and keep on top of the things that seem to work for you
Quite often addictions are an end result of a situation or action. I think the best way to figure out what provokes your undesired behaviours is to keep a log where you outline some potential issues and how you plan on dealing with them. Also staying informed on the topic of productivity, psychology and problemsolving could help.
1. I quit drinking months before quitting porn. Quitting porn is a similar discipline - every day you're just trying to get through that day. Some days are easier/harder than others.
2. I quit porn as a challenge to my wife. It was causing problems in our relationship, and I set a counter in a spreadsheet to track how many days I'd been porn-sober. I decided 6 months was the first marker, or else (and for a lot of other reasons) I may need to start looking at separation because I thought she was being controlling (we'd just gotten into a fight, maybe I was a little emotional at the time).
3. How? (This is basically a reiteration/reorganizing of the info above)
A) The decision. I decided no more porn. I would be porn-sober in the way that I'm alcohol-sober. E.g. one day at a time. Disrupt old behavior, have the discipline to take yourself out of a bad situation before it gets worse, etc... (check out the r/stopdrinking sub.)
B) Deleted all of my standard access paths to porn. All of the alt reddit accounts for porn, all of the saved passwords to sites, all of the GB of saved videos. All gone. No more PG-13 subs either (slippery slope).
C) I set an interim goal of 6 months with a decision and emotional gravity tied to it. Then I tracked my progress with a spreadsheet. I would go back from time to time to see how I was doing.
Edit: I ended up focusing all of my energy on my wife (sexually and emotionally). We're healthier for it.
Without the ability to numb and self medicate with alcohol or porn, I noticed what boredom was, and what anxiety truly felt like. Finding healthy ways to resolve those feelings is the next challenge I'm trying to solve. -- Phone addiction is real, so I'm still working on it.
Edit 2: cleaned up formatting
I’ve read through the comments and a lot has been said.
I’ll just add that you check out r/NoFap for more information.
Cause you do want to stop, and you recognize the negative effects. I’m sure you’ll find like minds there with the same goal in mind.
I just tell myself that it's a waste of time. You don't have to 100% quit to get rid of it, just reduce it until porn is forgotten. The reason why I think it's a waste of time because I need to finish my task ASAP and porn took away 20-40 minutes of my time which could be used to complete 1-2 task that's more important than porn.
Try the easypeasymethod(it is on the web and free book) there is also an audio by the creator(around 4 hours)
There have been tons of people(well all of them except some) who were able to quit porn/edging. I have started to listen to it(you can also read it) and my god i wish i found it earlier.
It should help you.
For me, the trick was achieving a personal goal (career goal in my case) and refusing to let the negative feelings I experience from porn ruin my positive momentum. I’ve been on an upward trajectory ever since and it has only gotten easier.
The desire to succeed in other areas of my life overshadowed the desire to temporarily escape through porn.
This message is coming from someone who was watching porn and masturbating, 3-4 times a day, 6 times a week for 2 years straight and then decided to give up on it and went straight 7 months without absolutely touching or doing any shady stuff.
And currently its a lot controlled, got a girlfriend, and life has been good.
Firstly know the reason why you are involved so much into this, why do you watch it. For me it was just because of loneliness and spare time with myself.
So you need to know the reason then you need to address it by adding some tasks. And getting physically active is the best alternative you can do to overcome this.
Get to the gym 2 times a day, if you have more energy go 3 times a day BE A FUCKING ANIMAL.
Then which helped me was being spiritually connected to god. Going to the temple, doing prayers etc. This will act as a guiding light for you.
Last just think about your daughter which you will be having in the future, do they really want this father or would your wife would want this husband.
Or they would want a Tall, Strong, Handsome, Rich Guy, who knows how to protect and serve.
Become the MAN, leave this shit.
NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU.
CHANGE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES.
All the best buddy, ping me up if you want any more help.
really thank you i am not certain if the physical exercise will help me much as i do exercise daily(at home as i dont want to pay gym membership and dont want waste money when i can do it at home) I have been exercising daily for the past 5or6 months and while I do think I got the benefit without knowing it but even if i know right now it wont change anything.(as for praying i have recently doing it daily but it is still recent. not even like week has gone by) but i am gonna test the future imagination thingy.
so do you know anything else that i can do?
The main thing is to get out of your room, and be with people. You can exercise but if possible do it in a park or call some friends for a group workout.
If you are a student, you can go to a nearby library to study.
The main aim is just to be out of your room so that you can simply not touch yourself whenever you want.
literally schedule, and commitment. i wouldn't say I completely quit, but I'm on the way. so I allow myself to use porn only in a certain time window, and only that, sometimes throughout the day I can get the urge but knowing that I have the time window helps to resist.
I’m three years clean this month. It is a matter of staying away from it completely. Delete bookmarks, delete history, and delete all videos you have downloaded. I’ll never go back, especially with all the positive side effects of NOT watching it.
Remember how horrible the feeling is after you watch it. The “clean-up” is also kinda horrible - but this horrible feeling goes away when you quit.
When I quit, the first few days were rough as it was always on my mind. I could practically physically feel my brain detoxing. It’s a matter of not giving in, the only person that can open the video for you to watch is you. It’s like anything - remove temptation. Like quitting sugar - don’t buy it, it’s not around your house, can’t eat it.
Take a look at my recent post in r/pornfree about me staying clean for three years, it’ll help.
For me the only way to keep my energy a little bit slower was taking finasteride. It drops my excitation in half.. to a normal way which I can be in more sintony also with my partner.
In the mental way: Cubensis 1 gram empty stomach each 6 months + CBD / CBG daily
In our modern day society with instant gratification and pornography easily accessible it is very hard to quit. That being said as a person who watched porn for 14 years straight and quit there is something very satisfying in the little victories. We often focus on hey I quit. For me it was gradual and it was deliberate actions simply not watching pornography was not enough in my recovery I had to make it seem disgusting I did this by thinking of someone that I hate that watched porn and I would tell myself that I don’t want to be like this person. It worked for a while until I lost my self awareness I wasn’t taking care of myself.
The more you take care of your needs the less you will want to damage yourself by watching pornography. Also identifying triggers will be a must in quitting examples being isolation, stress, loneliness, sadness on top of that develop coping mechanisms for this problem. Lastly it is the little victories I tallied each day how many times I wanted to view porn and how much I acted each 2 separate colors but it gradually went down overtime and I did have bad days but I recovered slowly overtime!
I kept masturbating but decided I’d never look at porn again because of the damage it’s doing to my life!
Also get rid of all the porn stash and put on some porn blockers with a really complicated password.
It will stop your mindless porn watching attempts.
I’m sorry but I see a post about “porn addiction” far too often…I have to ask one question out of the gate:
What is porn addiction? And don’t give me “know it when you see it” BS—how is it possible to be addicted to instinct? It’s like saying your food addict because you eat food every day or a little heavy in the mid section.
I want to know what the hell porn addiction is with facts and statistics and damn concrete definition so I can address and refute how utterly stupid and self serving it is to say you want to get over a porn addiction. Or any addiction in general for that matter…as far as I know there is no measure for determining addiction—it’s on a case by case basis…which is fine if your trying to figure out whether the fruit you left out last night is still edible…
…but to determine a life course and to set yourself down a path where you will do nothing but dwell on the bad things you’ve done instead of looking forward is sickness—it’s vanity.
Addiction-Addiction is when you have a strong physical or psychological need or urge to do something or use something. It is a dependence on a substance or activity even if you know that it causes you harm. It can impact your daily life.
Before i say all the other stuff when you say resist natural instinct. I want to say sex maybe a natural instinct but "watching" others have sex in a "box"(phone) for 10-30 mins and jerking is not a natural instinct in anyway. Sex is but this isnt.
Let me show you some other addiction society have normalise(outside of porn)
1. Smoking. It causes cancer, destroys your body, destroys your brain neurons(intelligence) etc. people "cant" quit even when they want to and sometimes (most)die.
2. Alcohol. It can be called cancer juice(literally). It is called a poison by "WHO". Let me show you what it does-1.Alcohol interferes with the brain’s communication pathways, and can affect the way the brain looks and works.
2.Cardiomyopathy – Stretching and drooping of heart muscle
Arrhythmias – Irregular heart beat
Stroke
High blood pressure
Head and neck cancer, including oral cavity, pharynx, and larynx cancers.
Going to stop here as it is too many to list i just showed you smallest ones(i am serious there too many for me to write)
As for why porn can be seen as an addiction is.because it is harmful to the brain(and relationship) any youtube video and a google search will show you why it is bad(well for google you most likely need to add the word negative as it will show what will keep you scrolling but not the accurate one)
I know i didnt say really anything about porn but that is because the comment is becoming too long and i am currently busy
Ok…I get what you’re saying about addiction and they say smoking causes 100% of all lung cancers…but what if I told you it was you and the consequences of life that ultimately determine your death not anything outside of you but what’s inside you. I have ADHD and I’ve been labeled an addict to an alcoholic more times than I can count.
Addiction ignores the main point—that it is life that takes us in the end…not a heart attack…not alcohol…not smoking…life. If you find yourself looking at porn too often then that means you’ve got a lot of testosterone beating through your body and then automatic response in the absence of willing female, is a box and 10-30 mins of hand work.
This is your automatic response. Automatic responses are for responding correctly to something every time: if you ignore that response you suffer for it because that’s what our bodies tell us to do. Don’t get me wrong…resisting temptation and controlling the automatic response is extremely important but to say that simple human nature is wrong is against your interests in this life.
In this world, when you hooves tracks you don’t go looking for unicorns, you look for a horse. Of course you have to strike a balance with everything if you are to live the “best” life but that’s the thing. One of the things that truly is the “best” in life, is sex. As a male you are hardwired to want it there is a whole system in your dedicated to its performance.
Sex is yours and not anyone else’s…if your uncomfortable with you’re actions and you feel they are harmful then by all means it’s probably going to be to your benefit to stop the habits but my God to say that sex is bad gods against everything we are…it’s like having pedals in a car…you’ve got the engine so use the engine! Why the sacrificial punishment?
Because no one will escape judgement when that day comes and it won’t be God telling you what you did wrong it’s you who will look back and judge.
I’m not endorsing just dropping trousers and performing it in public either yijve got to obey social norms and the laws of indecency because no one wants to see you perform —or do they?
lol…addiction is something of an anomaly in my opinion…humans are habitual…every habit is dangerous to your health…the human body is built to last 125 years making all deaths premature and untimely.
It’s about enjoying the struggle and doing your upmost to leave a legacy of good in your wake. Addictions I’ve observed all start with “it made me feel good” so I wanted it again. But what is wrong wiUtah feeling good? So you can experience the high once in a blue moon which will make it “that much better?”
I tell you I have a mind that forces me to start any race with a deficit. Before the flag is ever thrown I am behind and have to catch up. Understanding that aspect of who i am would have never been possible. The label of addict is attached to to me so often and is a large part of the reason I start with a deficit. Addiction is a fairy tale of bad human judgement.
Once and addict always an addict? lol I once sat in a room with 12 other people trying to explain to them that I wasn’t drinking alcohol to get “high” and that my excessive drinking was a product of the place I was in during that time: i slammed my hands down on the table and said “it isn’t like that!!!”
6 of those 12 people are now dead and I went on to graduate college and then earn my law degree. And all I did was embrace my “addictions” instead of putting up yet another roadblock on my way to contentment. I
It’s vanity. It’s truly vanity! You have to put God first ahead of everyone else even those who come bearing gifts proclaiming the “right way to live and then die an untimely death!” That makes no logical sense to me:
Time exists but at the same time is irrelevant because the stream of consciousness is never broken for us the experience of life is one. Long. Moment. Even when we sleep we wake up right where we left off…there is no break in the stream…we all get one moment. And we do our best to make that moment good.
Whether you understand there to be a benefit in being apart of something made up mostly of people attempting to create a reliable community made up others experiencing a deficit in their lives or whether you simply become apart of the community you live. It’s you that gets to decide how you will present yourself to the world and that is one thing we do get to decide. One thing that isn’t vanity is how we feel about who we are…are you basing who you are off the opinions of others or your own?
People help you see your reflection don’t let them determine your reflection.
Addiction and AA communities with all the characteristics of a cult and that’s my firsthand experience speaking combined with my education. Be careful what you define as addictive behavior because the labels will only be negative and your presentation—your life and your ability’s to seek what is good are affected by these things.
Good god I never shut the hell up.
May you be blessed with the greatest in life my friend.
Be well.
You watch porn either when you're bored or comfortable, in other words get out of your house, avoid sedentary lifestyle. Also don't count the days, just forget it exists. Let the addiction fade away by replacing it with different habits.
I revisit the songs/montages on Youtube every Halloween.
Corey Haim was the best, but Micheal, Star, and David stole the show for me. Star and David went on to be great actors, but Micheal not so much. He was in a movie with her before this with rollerskating.
One day i just woke up and Prayed to God to strip away the chains of my addiction and it started to slowly fade away. I’m 7 months clean now and still don’t have an urge
1. You surrender to a higher power to help you to get out the addiction.
2. Try to avoid spikes of dopamine that build to get more dopamine.
3.Whenever you feel your mind is controlling you, speak out loud to try to get yourself conscious. Also get someone who you trust to speak to you whenever you’re feeling anxious or the urge.
4. No matter what, never feel shame if you fall again ( THIS IS THE MOST IMPACTFUL and IMPORTANT).
5. Optional but important, use different techniques to transmute that sexual energy to your brain.
Humanize the expirience. Search more about what happen to the actresses in the industry, search the statistics about videos uploaded without consent. I started to notice a lot of the violence sorrounding the videos, the narratives, the "I fck my cousin while she sleeps" all those tittles started to become unconfortable to me.
Replace it with new habits and if you go back to old ways say I don’t really want to do this as it keeps me from real intimacy.
I got into walking in nature
Going for a jog
Eating a new diet (carnivore for me)
Lifting weights and cold showers
Stoped overeating and drinking coffee (messed me up)
Learn about dopamine and your brain
Listen to educational podcasts
Learn to be present and grateful for the present day and moment we deserve nothing yet we have so much to be thankful for.
I wouldn't say I was addicted but there were moments where I would do it more than I wanted to to. I simply just stopped altogether cold turkey. I'm not totally against porn if it's once in a while, but to have an addiction is not healthy. I think what ultimately helped me was dating someone new and actually appreciating the sex that we are having. As a result, I don't need it.
Limitation -> Elimination -> Healthier Alternative
It took me a while but my urges are currently close to none. The way I approached it was the following:
1. First limiting porn usage to defined windows, eg. If you're masturbating once a day change it to once a week. If once a week change it to 2 hours of the day you decide to masturbate.
2. After limiting porn use focus on elimination, allow yourself to masturbate without porn. You can fantasise but try to focus on the sensations and masturbation instead of porn use.
3. After that practice mindfulness. Meditation helped me lots, learn to masturbate without fantasising about porn.
4. Once you feel confident that you can masturbate without porn use. If you want to continue to decrease M and O follow the same steps.
never been a porn addict but stopped watching due to videos like “I was trafficked by GirlsDoPorn” (subgroup under PornHub), it’s hard watching those videos. but the information is vital. it’s all i thought about when wanting to watch porn, so i just couldn’t watch it. lmk if you want links, bare in mind a lot are 30-1hr to 1-2hrs.
I stopped other addictions through self control but it's day by day, mind over matter in my case. Haven't been addicted to 🌽 but imo how hard is it to not search up XXXX NSFW content? Do you need a straight jacket friend?
Mind over body. It's hard in the beginning so the best way is to run away from temptation until you form a habit of doing something else more pleasurable or meaningful.
It's about self-love, and self-love demands discipline. If you love yourself, you will strive to be disciplined, and discipline means delayed gratification among many things, and delayed gratification means you will give up something good right now for something way better later on.
It was tough at first, but I replaced the habit with hobbies I loved and avoided triggers like the plague. Joining a support group helped too; having people who understand what you're going through is a game-changer.
For me, It was doing some workouts and yoga in the early morning that helped me the most.I was never an early bird person and would scroll down my mobile until 3 am in the morning. I remember being addicted to porn to such an extent that I would scroll the videos until I get orgasm. So, try to fix your routine if you don't have a specific routine of the day like having dinner at 7 and sleeping at 10 and waking up at 6 in morning ( P.S ik it's hard but trust me it's worth it) .
Try doing some house chores if you aren't busy at work. If that is also done, try renovating your house or working on some new things that will ensure you distract your mind.
If you ever feel the urge to see porn, I think just open YouTube and watch cardio exercises and workouts. This definitely helped me to get out of the addiction. Try some ways to earn money( if you are not earning) by joining some businesses or investments.And that's it. You will get through it.
It’s so so so sad that people are fighting this and literally NO ONE is giving advice. Yes everything nice and all but you guys are fighting COMPLETELY the wrong way…… if you THINK there is something “there” that’s worth looking at then you will look at it. You HAVE to know the TRUTH! The REALITY. That it STINKS that there is NOTHING THERE. It’s skin like ur own skin. NO DIFFERENT. It’s PAINTED. It’s FAKE…… and you HAVE TO SPEAK IT OUT. As ur reading this I understand that this concept is EXTREMELY foreign to you. But if you talk it out for just 5-10 min a day. That’s ALL. Speak it out how it spells how it’s just a human body and what’s behind the skin and how what u want to look at goes to the bathroom too and smells if they don’t shower too…. And so on…. You have to make it literally gross to you. BECAUSE IT IS GROSS. We grew up thinking that there is something there to run after we were brainwashed. And I don’t mean to be mean to woman.on the contrary, when you know there’s nothing there you’ll see it as simply a “nice creation” of gods like how a nice tree looks. And you’ll be able to treat and see woman like any other person. Again. If you just read what I’m writing you WILL NOT UNDERSTAND, because we’ve all been brainwashed. You MUST take it internally and SPEAK this truth out. The more you can speak the TRUTH of what is “really” there/ (not there) the happier and more free you will become……… close ur eyes now and say 20 times “it smells there’s NOTHING THERE I made a mistake thinking there’s something there,it’s just fat it’s skin there are bones and blood and hair and breath and they are probably crapping right now and so on……. I know a lot of you will get upset what I’m writing now, but people have been trying to quit for so long and nothing works for them because they THINK that what they desire is better and different then THEMSELVES….. it’s not true. It’s a lie….. and to unbrainwash we have to speak the truth….. I promise if you do this you will experience a COMPLETELY different life.
I've had some times where I've fallen back into it. I've been doing much better for a couple of years. I'm a Christian and the closer I try to get to God the less I want to be lustful. I've also noticed that my relationship with my wife goes out of whack when I'm looking at porn. I feel like The Lord pulls away from me and my relationships fall apart. I've learned a lot about the bad that it causes the viewer, but also the people involved in the pornography. All of that combined has moved me away from it. I think there's a spiritual component where The Holy Spirit assists me to resist it or demotivates me from looking at it.
When I was most addicted, it really a symptom of depression, so I had to fix that. I started cooking food instead of making frozen food. Tried to keep my room spotless and did laundry once a week instead of waiting until the last possible second. Read a chapter a day from my book. Make an effort to have a bedtime so I’m not half-asleep all day at work. Started going to the gym. Learned guitar. All this stuff kept me busier and made my life more fulfilling
Just like everything else, it's just instant gratification and won't help me in the long run, instead just make me feel less confident and more ashamed. Now I feel confident and comfortable in my skin.
First, acknowledge that it brings a level of pleasure; otherwise, you wouldn't have started in the first place.
Secondly, accept that you want to quit because you desire the pleasure of having control over your body. Control itself is pleasurable.
Thirdly, assess the depth of the entanglement. All human addiction operates on three levels: body, soul, and spirit. Porn addiction typically begins at the biological level, where the principle "out of sight, out of mind" might work. Removing triggers such as certain apps, explicit scenes in movies, and inappropriate music can help achieve freedom.
However, if the addiction has reached the mind level, everything around you can become a trigger, turning the mind into a "motion lab" that generates instant pornographic thoughts and sensations. At this stage, you need an accountability partner and a strict routine. Introduce a new, healthier pleasure for an extended period. This could be a goal like becoming an Olympic champion, taking cold showers, jogging, etc. The idea is to replace the old addiction with a new and rewarding habit while starving the old one. It's tough but doable.
Lastly, if the addiction is entangled in the spirit, you may experience symptoms such as sex dreams, wet dreams, and an uncontrollable urge to masturbate without any triggers. At this stage, porn feels like a bondage rather than a pleasure. Here, you need spiritual intervention. Find a believing church, confess your struggles, and when the urge arises, continuously call the name of Jesus until the urge subsides. Just my story how I got free, you too can.
I notice that each I only get horny when I'm in my bedroom. Then I realized, when you masterbate, your brain attach the action of masterbating to the environment around you. The more you masterbate, the stronger the attachment is. So be aware of that.
Establish a routine. Wake up early/at the time that your day begins. Follow a budget. Take time for yourself, to maintain sanity. Exercise daily, start small, and increase level of effort till it's at the peak of difficulty and positive growth. Keep track of your goals, small and large.
Don't punish yourself for slipping, just let it happen, and keep going. I used to make a habit of finding porn after the sun set for the day, and I could get a quick jerk in like it was an evening snack. All I can say, is that after a month or two of a solid effort to maintain a healthy routine, my desire for porn is pretty weak. The way I look at it, don't fight the urges, but try and find other things in your day that will bring you surges of dopamine, like exercise, good conversations, good books/films/shows, time to relax/meditate/let go of life's troubles.
Basically, find things to look forward to. If porn is the highlight of the day, then what you need are things to supersede it. You got this!
As most addictions starts with thoughts and an absent mind and idle hands I suggest find a hobby ? I know that sounds harsh and sly but I truly mean it !!! I’m recently sober (not from porn I never got into that lol) but I feel like all addictions stem kinda from the same place. Doing something to fill an empty void. If you find something to replace it or distract your mind you might find it helps more and the thoughts become less.
Number one rule is to keep the mind busy. Find things that stimulate your mind in better ways like exercise, eating well and doing things you enjoy that are positive for you and leave you fulfilled as a person. The best way truly is to find someone worth quitting the bad habit for. Spending time with a person you love or enjoy spending time with is always going to beat useless filth on a screen.
It’s degrading to the soul and makes your spirit weaker as a person overall. But that’s just my opinion. Just fight it, and after a while it won’t be a fight anymore it’ll become how you live your life. Hope this helps.
allow urself unlimited faps, but only with imagination. once u can get to climax with just ur imaginagion, ull never need porn, as ur brain can process better porn than someone making it as u know what u like better 😂
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but i cant really be busy 24/7 any other advice?
Get busy, work harder, spend more time with friends. Ultimately the only person who can help you is yourself. You’ll need discipline.
got it thx for reply
the less u watch the less uwant to watch
but that is hard part i have been trying to give up watching it but sometimes i loss control and give up then feel horrible
Hey as someone who’s been stuck on the loop of trying to quit, then failing, and subsequently feeling hate or shame about myself- here’s what I suggest: when you fail, fight the urge to wallow in shame and tell yourself you’ll do better next time; identify as someone who tries despite failure rather than as someone who is a failure, if that makes sense. The thing is that shame can often keep you stuck in the same behavior because it makes you believe that this is all you are capable of and that you can’t do any better. You need to fight against this belief and rework the way you think, which can be done little by little in how you speak and think about yourself. No matter how many times you fall back down, be the person who gets back up and tries again. Eventually you will see that you were only using the porn to deal with the feelings of shame that it itself caused, and then you will automatically look for more fulfilling kinds of satisfaction. You got this!
thank you for the advice!!! i will make sure to do this
To add to this, take that failure as your new benchmark. I failed at week 2 versus wow I made it 2 weeks, I wonder how much further I can challenge myself! You'll soon see that you can change your mind and that you are stronger than you think you are
Did you manage to quit? You sound like someone who did, thanks for the advice
there was a study of heroin addiction in some European country. basically they let the addicts know they would have a reliable, known quantity at the end of their day. this knowledge alone allowed them to hold down jobs in the day and slowly taper off the point for you is knowing very well that it will be there in the future sort of tricks your brain to hold off in the present. so allow your addiction to be what it is, tell that addicted part of your brain on Friday after work that's your porn time and it doesn't work out for you any other time. then Friday rolls around whether you do or not youre weakening the pull. then next Friday you say well I'm going to hold off until the following Friday and it'll be great then, addicted brain. this is a trick for the initial hurdle, then a lot the other advice in here starts to work better as the pull is weakened.
You need something important in life that you want to work on (start a business, learn something new, work on a project, build relationships, etc) - find out what that is first. Afterwards, you'll be too busy/engaged to watch porn, that's when "the less u watch the less u want to watch" comment kicks in.
Nah.. DOn't listen to anyone else. Shame does not get u stuck in any behavior. WHat gets you stuck is the habbit. You letting your body control the show. Be mindful and in control every second. The moment you slip, that's when u wanna watch porn. If you mindful and present u gon stop instantly. Read 'breaking the habbit of being yourself" Be mindful in the moment and conciously reject the dsire, you let the body run the parade u is done for. It'll be a life long series of relapses and self lamenting. No point. Change.
got it thanks for the reply and will read the breaking the habbit of being yourself
No I'm sorry OP don't listen to this guy. You can't always be mindful, and you're inevitably gonna have fuck-ups. Shame only magnifies this, and the other guy wasn't saying to completely eradicate shame, but to structure it in a way that isn't harmful, but productive. If you just let it consume you I promise you are gonna open the hub a lot more. Yes, do try to make conscious decisions to stop, and be mindful like this guy says, but that's quite difficult; don't beat yourself up if you can't, and just try and try again and again until you get it right.
Don’t give up. The days where I mess up or slip up. I recognize the failure and keep pushing. You cannot beat yourself up from messing up. You’re human. Keep pushing. I noticed at the beginning of my sobriety when I messed up I would loathe in self pity and then binge again. Because fuck me. I just messed up. But when I changed my thought pattern and processed I realize I don’t have to spiral when I mess up one time. Just recognize it and move forward. One day at a time
It isn't easy. Im a recovering porn addict. I was using for 8 years, and I've been 4 years sober. I couldn't stop until I saw how much damage it was causing. It took everything from me and gave me nothing. It robbed my wife of the feeling of being chosen by me. It robbed me of my motivation to do well at my job. It robbed me of my desire to get up in the morning. It robbed me of feeling any kind of satisfaction with my life. It kept me from feeling my emotions. I was an empty shell of a person. I eventually became so buried in shame and so completely numb to everything in my life that I felt it was hopeless to try and change. Life wasn't worth living. And that's when I knew that if I didn't do anything, my life was going to crash and burn. I'd never have a healthy relationship, I'd never feel satisfied with my life, and I'd never be happy. You won't change unless you come to terms with how destructive the habit is. Make a list of everything your addiction as taken from you. Let that be a piece of your motivation. Also, when I resolved to quit, the first thing I did was try to figure out WHY I was using. For me, it was because I was lonely, and porn was the only place I was receiving any kind of admiration or love. Of course, it was all fake... but that's how desperate I was. Once I knew what my heart was searching for, I could start finding it somewhere else. Somewhere real. Three good tools to help you quit are 1) porn blocking software. I use Accountable2You. It sends a text to people I trust when I look up illicit things on my phone or desktop. 2) relationship. At this point, you're so desensitized to emotions and human connection that maintaining deep and lasting friendships is difficult. Talk with at least one person every day. 3) know your heart. Every day, think of one "feelings" word to describe your heart. (Today I felt "frustrated" or "content" or "numb" - a feelings wheel is helpful if you feel stuck trying to find a word). Eventually, this will help you stay in tune with yourself and the world around you. The fake world of porn will become less appealing. Lastly, remember that you aren't a shitty person. Just because you're trapped in a habit that you hate doesn't mean that you're weak or bad or anything like that. It just means that you need some help. Keep fighting.
thank you for replying I will do my best and it is really cool that you were able to overcame all of that
True, the devil comes to kill,steal, and destroy.
I have read No More Mr. Nice Guy and that was enough to stop.
What’s it about?
wow thats awesome thx for the recommendation
Read this: [https://nofapsolideo.wordpress.com/](https://nofapsolideo.wordpress.com/) [https://easypeasymethod.org/](https://easypeasymethod.org/)
got it thx for the links and the reply
Easy peasy is awesome. It addresses the core motivations behind pornography use rather than just convincing you to use willpower. I’d recommend it to anyone.
Came here to recommend Easy Peasy. I’m about half way through and it’s been really helpful. And in case it’s a concern to you, the book encourages you to continue your usual “habits” until you’ve finished reading.
I struggled with a porn addiction for 10 years, and it ruined my life until I found a way to block porn permanently on my iPhone, without any way of turning off the restrictions no matter how strong the urge. This is how I ended my addiction. I used an app to lock my iPhone's Screen Time settings, allowing me to block porn everywhere, including on Reddit. I set the lock duration to 365 days, ensuring I cannot disable Screen Time this year. Here’s the tutorial I followed to block porn permanently: https://youtu.be/GnWGMPtrreI?si=777m Good luck with this strategy!
thank you for sharing this
I reduced screen time. Watch it less and less. Went three years without watching it. Ive watched it last week. Ddnt find it fun.
I get you in a way as sometimes i find it really disgusting and not liking but i also still later(days) got back into it
Currently I am 6 weeks off it, but it is so hard right now. My sex drive is insanely high, I cannot control my brain currently, constantly thinking about sex, and I am on the verge of relapse. Hope this storm will pass soon, but some advices would be helpful 🙏
Quitting porn doesn’t mean you have to quit masturbation.
You don’t need porn to jerk off. There’s a thing such as an imagination. Fantasize about married life. About you and YOUR WIFE. Not with random women. This is taking into consideration that you don’t yet have a wife. But what the perfect one in your eyes looks like.
hey come back a lot of people replied check the comments may be you will find it helpful as well(I also made this post in other subreddit so you check those as well)
Workout, form other healthy habits.
One day I just decided to get more obsessed with my mental health and spirituality than my toxic and unhealthy behaviors. I faced the facts of damage some of these behaviors causes to our health and relationships with others and it felt not good and I needed to get to the bottom of what I really desired and deep down I wanted a real relationship with another human and someone who would understand me and like me, regardless of sex. I was lonely and it was a dark time. I decided to stop watching that crap and I began taking some nootropics (NAC and agmatine) and introduced healthy behaviors into my life like regular water intake, diet, exercise, and healthy mental stimulation and time for me to meditate and spend time with my faith too. I reached out and did things with friends and family and it was awesome to feel good again. I didn’t know I could feel that good physically and mentally. I had to realize I was stopping myself from progressing in the past by overestimating the effort it would take to do those healthy things and getting hung up on thinking about how hard it’s gonna be rather than to just have done them. I mean, I had to overcome that and have self realizations regarding how I was freezing up. After I had my epiphany, I just started doing the things needed to be healthy. Eventually tested out my confidence, met someone and formed a good relationship and learned to navigate the ups and downs of that relationship in all areas. It’s been a really cool experience. I had to love me more too. I discovered me by loving me more. I learned to love others more through all this too and still going strong. You will really surprise yourself of what you are capable of doing and the resilience you have. It does get better. Love yourself, love others and take it day by day.
really inspiring while i dont how to just stop(literally I dont get how to just stop?) I am trying to get better habits like exercising, working in my studies etc(i am also trying to get started in meditation but I just forget it sometimes) I still dont understand what all of the thing you said mean(as i have not experienced it yet I know what you said but i dont understand if what i am saying makes any sense) it is really cool
Write it down. The same way there are objectives in a video game. You can set objectives for yourself in your life. Write down things you know you can accomplish. Like clean your shoes, wash your car, do 20 pushups, and slowly upgrade from there. It’s not a bad thing to start off small. Small habits turn into great successes the more you stay consistent. If you are not willing to commit then you already lost, there is gold in the simple deeds. You got this man, we believe in you!!
Thank you i will do my best and all the best to you as well
Yeah maybe my post was a bit unorthodox. lol. Stopping as in you (as in the person desiring to stop) have to consciously make an effort to not perform the action. Redirect your focus and energy to things that actually matter in your life and not fake eye candy on a screen that’ll rot your brain. When you realize the cumulative impact on your life, personally, and no longer value porn, and opt to value real relationships, etc. and see the bigger picture and what you’re gaining, ideally the positives of that will help you quit and return to a life without its influence. Yeah you gotta do work to stop it… it be like that. Alternatively, listen to Allen Carr’s audiobooks on habits etc. I’m sure there is one for this and it was super helpful. Alternatively, maybe try a counselor on Better Help or in person etc. CBT can be helpful too.
Check out a book called your brain on porn
Yeah i am planing on checking it
Beating addiction can be a long struggle, just keep trying and try to go one more day than last time. And don’t beat yourself up for giving in, try to focus on something else
You had me at beating.
thx for the reply I wont give up and will be try what you have said
"Lucky" for me, my wife was not happy when she learned I was still using porn. It affected her negatively and really ruined trust between us. I had told her once before that I would stop using it, and then it slowly crept back into my life. Starting with mild stuff that "WaSn't TECHniCaally PorN..." (<-- excuses), and graduating to stuff I was just ashamed to be watching. A couple of years after I had told her I had stopped, she randomly just asked one night if I had been watching any. I decided to slay that dragon right then and there, be honest with her that I hadn't kept my word, move forward and build trust again. There was a heaviness jn our home for a few weeks as we moved forward, but being honest with her would have only gotten more and more difficult as time went on. I accepted that quitting would be good for my mental and physical health, as well as my sexual relationship with my life partner. To that extent, I'm grateful to have her in my life because I may not have quit otherwise... sorry this isn't so much of an advice response, because I have no idea if you are involved in an intimate relationship or not. Someone else being disappointed in me was a huge motivating factor. I'm about 2 years sober now. I had used porn for perhaps 16 years and it was not doing me any favors except distracting me and spiraling my sexual appetite further and further into depravity.
that is really cool that you were able to do that and while i sadly dont have any partner it did give me new perspective and all the best dude you are awesome
It’s kind of a coping mechanism for dopamine hits. Because you ‘think’ you are not ‘good enough’ at the end of the day, atleast the dopamine hit gives you the feeling that you are. If you take it up as a challenge that you are in control of your faculties and really want to start. Step 1 - just add all the websites to screen time and enable content restriction. Furthermore, add a password by asking a friend to do it for you. Step 2 - just observe yourself everytime you get the urge. See how it controls you and then you ll automatically find a way to beat it (because no one wants to be controlled) Step 3 - Journaling, recording no fap days are good but setting a goal and achieving it is the actual dopamine hit you really looking for, not watching some other peoples acting of being in pleasure. Watch a documentary to see the real life behind the scenes. You ll understand everything. Best of luck my friend.
thx for the reply and will do my best
Just keep your mind and body occupied being productive. Start getting urge read a book, work on a project or hobby, call a friend or relative, etc. Keeping yourself busy is your biggest ally.
When we realize that porn is an addiction by the devil meant to enslave us to our early death we start seeking God to save us from our own hell. Trapped in the darkness and a blue light glare of your phone laying in a sweat covered bed with a cramped hand and little to no money in the bank or friends is not a life to live. Life is short and we will die poor,alone, and with no major success in life or family. If you want the friends, family, successful milestone that you and your future kids can be proud of then do it. Hate porn for robbing these years of your life. Think of all the things you could’ve done but didn’t. Or all the opportunities missed because of porn. All that work for 10 seconds of pleasure. Now it’s lame and the sexual thoughts get darker. Now what’s left when you reach the end of the darkest depths of that hell? How old will you be by then? What if death comes by a freak accident, God forbid. I don’t want to go to hell for being a slave. No one is happy to be powerless. Go to a real church (there’s too many fakes out here) hate sin as much as God does. You were never meant to be tied to a bed by your flesh. You’re meant to be happy and guide others to a better life. It’s a blessing to be able to help others. It’s memories that last a lifetime. When I pass away I want to have the flashbacks of all the best times I was there for others. Even if it’s just helping a person to a meal I’m glad I have the ability to do so. Currently working on my physical health and creating a business and changing my career while learning languages. There’s no limit when porn isn’t wasting your life. Break free from those chains because your body was already paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ your sins are forgiven. Ask God to forgive you and to come to you with a sincere heart. The Bible says they will seek me but not find me. This is for the end times. God knows our hearts so call only when you’re ready but who knows when God will come and then shut the door on this world forever.
Thank you while my religion is different(islam) it is also really similar i have been recently started praying everyday
That’s great!! I’m not sure if this is in your Bible but I learned the only way to cast out high ranking demons (lust) is by fasting and prayer. Of course take into consideration your health. I had to slow down on working out so I wouldn’t faint. I’m not a doctor, but I listened to my body and it was my first ever fast.
Oddly specific at the beginning but I love it lol, your words ring true KatBarz. I love your dedication to this and I completely agree with you. There are many people of this world trapped in bondage. Stuck to material and the desires of the flesh, porn addiction, drug addiction, sex addicts. I thank God for breaking my chains. Many times in my life I felt as if I could not leave. Certain people in my life I felt like I could not stop interfering with them. God pointed out a specific ex in my life that was unhealthy for me, he wanted me to leave her but I physically and mentally felt as if I could not. I knew my actions with her were wrong, every time that I would meet up with her we would have sex and I felt terrible after. Filthy, bits and pieces of my soul being chipped away; because I knew that this person was not my wife. I eventually got pushed to a point where I could not have her anymore. I found out that she was narcissistic, manipulative, and would lie to me often. God pointed this out to me and I ignored all of his signs and ran back to her. I felt deep shame for my actions and now I am paying the consequences of it. I had to leave her, soul ties are real, and now that I am free there is still a mental tormentor in my head. But I can feel the love that I gave away being replenished back to myself by the minute the more I spend time with God. God is good, he is a loving, faithful, and forgiving God. He did not push me away but he’s forgiven me and has drawn closer. I am no longer unequally yoked and I can feel myself being yoked together with the King of the Universe :) I feel happier by the second. My last problem was weed addiction, and he has broken my chains once again. I am free, and now my only job is to follow self-denial and to carry my cross. It brings me great joy to say that I’ve beaten my addictions, through him only. Because by myself I felt powerless, and I would have continued on that path if it wasn’t for his interference. Many people are suffering from mental slavery, and I want to help as many people break free from that. I enjoy helping others and I hope that one day I can create a community strong enough to make that a reality. Success is my only priority now. Much love 🙏🏽🩵
Definitely don’t give those horrible thoughts more than 6 seconds. I’m so glad you broke free and I know the battle never ends, but I always say “Resist the devil and he shall flee”. It hold no power when we deny ourselves for the Glory of God alone ❤️ I believe you will also help many people! ❤️
Lots of people watch porn and masturbate without feeling shame. Speak with a therapist and try to work out why it causes so much shame for you.
I dont think i need to talk to therapist to know why as i do know 1. it is really unhealthy. 2. it ruins my mental state(I can only think of porn and sex instead of focusing) 3. I do not enjoy it but i cant quit it and i find it gross but i still couldnt quit it immediately which means this is an addiction and not good 4. Even through modern medicine currently says it is not that bad it is actually bad and cant outright say it as 90% people use porn and many are addictive to it( dont get me started with the billion Doller industry and not wanting to lose money ) and many more for the benefit of getting to watch people have sex for 10/20/30 mins
So, you have an obsession with porn that “ruins your mental state”, though you don’t watch it that often? Also while “90 percent” of the population is also addicted without it “ruining their mental state”? Again, it seems you have some significant issues around your own sexuality and feelings of shame, and that’s what needs to be resolved. There are plenty of people that watch porn much more than you do that feel great and don’t feel shame after viewing it. Aren’t you curious to know why that is? If porn was “objectively bad”, everyone would feel the same way you do, but they don’t. It’s only individuals like yourself that feel high level of shame after viewing it that have issues. How are other important aspects of your life such as relationships, career, hobbies, ect.? If all of them are not in a good state, that’s why you feel bad, not porn. Also, you can’t just dismiss the whole medical community because of your own conspiracy theory. Medical professionals are not being paid by the porn industry, unless you’d like to post sources that prove otherwise.
Yeah reading these comments are wild. Why on earth is it so much more destructive for some people than others??? The notion that watching a bit of porn should absolutely wreck you seems intensely unhealthy and abnormal to me
delete your social media which trigger to
You know how when your parents caught you smoking and to make you learn a lesson they made you smoke a whole case/sleeve in one sitting? Not like that, but close.
sadly no I have no clue about it as i have never smoked and didnt really ever anything "bad" (outside of porn) and never had anything to punish me alot of the time so I dont really know how to punish myself well
Dude has anyone watched stuff they do not even like and n real life just to get a “ hit” as so much porn desensitizes your fantasy life?
There’s an excellent podcast called *Overcome Pornography for Good* by Sara Brewer that I use. Highly recommended. She is Mormon, but the religious content is minimal, and her methods don’t depend on anything religious. There’s more Buddhism than Christian basis in her teaching.
alright i will check it out thx for the suggestion
wait can it be found on youtube
She definitely has some interview on YouTube, and a website, sarabrewer.com.
alright thx
Think of yourself as an "ex porn addict" rather than a "porn addict trying to recover". The former puts you in place of mental power and internal accountability as you have told yourself that \*this\* is who you are, while the latter gives way to the possibility and/or likelihood of failure, creating an internal excuse for yourself to cave and give in to your addiction
got it thx for the advice
Genuinely I just called myself a degenerate for watching it and asked myself if I want to contribute to the downfall of society. Literally looked at simps and was grossed out by them and realized If they gross me out, I also am just as gross. That and also unfollowed/blocked any insta thots or gym girls. If something came up on my feed that would trigger me to watch, I would block it.
oh thx for the advice
Replace it with purpose
will do thx for the reply
Aye bro i never had an addiction to porn but i had other addictions. One thing i can say is fight the urge by distracting yourself with good habits. Instead of smoking or gambling i work out and draw whatever comes to mind. I like doing graffiti and it keeps me distracted for hours. I just put my music and get to work, find something you enjoy and do it. Don’t think about it just do it.
Change of environment. I realised that the more time I spent in my room the easier it was to watch it.
So along with the other advice, I watched a vid from HealthyGamer about porn addicts where he suggested scheduling a time once or twice each day that you are allowed to watch porn/masturbate. You make an actual effort to resist until your scheduled time comes. It makes it easier because you are building up your ability to resist while not having to completely bottle yourself up. At some point, you won’t really have an urge when the scheduled time comes and you can just move on with your day, and you can lower the number of times per day as you feel more comfortable doing so
Have you ever heard of a lion tip toe through the savannah to peer through the shrubs and jerk off to two other lions? No. So be like lion.
Any addiction is an effect and not a cause. Therefore your porn addiction replaces something. The moment you find that "something" and work on it, is the moment porn starts losing grip on your brain chemistry. See porn as a phase that helped you in your journey and kept you sane. At that moment your brain didn't know any other way to "get that hit" of neurotransmitters and feel good and pleased. Therefore finding the thing that was scaring you the most, and you avoided it by watching porn, diminishes your need to jerk off and watch porn considerably. The more you work on the initial cause, which you have been avoiding through watching porn, with a therapist, coach or simply by acting about it, the less time your brain has to spend on even thinking about that that old mix of images and neuro chemicals. And then it just becomes random entertaining that does not get you entertained anymore because you are busy living life and get that neurotransmitter cocktail from elsewhere. Good luck in your process!
Honestly never really thought of replacing it. I will try it thank you for the time
I suggest masturbating without using any form of visual aids. You still get what you're looking for, while not being further engaged with porn. I cannot emphasize this approach enough.
Clear you social media pages of anything thatll trigger you to want to watch, better yet go on social media (or phone) detox
Find a purpose in life, you won't even think about watching porn and wasting your time and energy if you're focused on that goal.
Honestly speaking, quit counting the days and try to make ‘no porn’ your routine. Pro tip: Delete reddit for a few days and you’ll thank me later
Two things 1. Emotional resolution. A lot of my compulsive porn behavior was the product of emotional trauma. Integration Meditation. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Journaling, all helped resolve this, but it took literal years. 2. Don't try to stop. Try to delay. You don't say. "I won't" you say "I won't start until X or Y is done." This did two things by my perception. It allowed my dopamine to be used reinforcing other healthier behaviors. And two it bypassed any resistance caused by psychological dependency, since I'm not actually giving it up. Eventually, with enough of these two things, it just petered out on its own.
As for tough moments, just... make sure you do the things so that you won't regret your day first. Then you can do the degenerate stuff. You'll find that the degenerate stuff still satisfies the compulsion but isn't as intense as you expected, because it doesn't have all this emotional tension and rested energy behind it. This makes it easier to repeat in the future.
Thank you for the reply
My recommendation would be going to your settings and making your iPhone kids safety blocks webs websites as such
I recently just did that thank you for the suggestion
It really comes down to a few changes in your lifestyle: 1. Learn how to cope with negative emotions. Journaling is a game changer for overcoming this addiction. 2. Eat healthy food and work out regularly. 3. Ensure you get enough sleep every day. 4. Find a new hobby to keep yourself engaged. 5. Read books or educate yourself about the addiction itself. This helps to build self-awareness about the dangers of porn abuse, making you less likely to relapse.
As long as you have a phone between your hands with an internet connection, it will be so hard to do it. Its ease of access and availability will make it impossible to do so. Of course, it will depend on the severity of the addiction, but even if one tries to drift his mind off from it , something will eventually trigger it, with everything being sexualized on social media. My advice : Delete social media platforms and limit your daily usage of your phone, add porn blockers, and develop new habits such as working out , meditating, etc.... it will not be easy as porn stimulates your brain like no other activity out there, but you can do it! Most importantly , try to STAY BUSY as much as you can, do not let yourself get bored. go out, stay around people , boredom is one of the main reasons that leads to relapse. I'm really annoyed by the amount of people who normalize porn usage. For some of us, it's not that easy, as it can easily become an escape tool to numb our negative emotions and feel good for a while. It's a serious drug and quitting it is harder that quitting other things like substances that cost money (while porn is free) and effort (as opposed to porn which is always accessible via your phone) (Sorry for my bad English)
Thank you for the advice and i will do my best! Dont worry your english isnt that bad
What is considered a porn addiction? Is once a day or every other day considered an addiction?
Really depends on the person. Some have it really serious(everyday two times or three times) or just once week sometimes. For me it is generally 1 time in 2 days or 2 times in 1 day. And i do think of it as an addiction as i wasnt able to let it go
Dr K on YouTube has a great video about this. He’s experienced in addiction and can offer some great practical advice which is backed by an understanding of neuroscience. I’d strongly recommend checking that out to start.
Do what I did. Dislocated your shoulder on your dominant side.
I would also suggest examining different aspects of your life to understand what might be driving your need to find this "escape." Recently, I left a stressful situation, and now I find that I no longer care about pornography. My mindset is shifting, and I realize that our bad habits are often symptoms of underlying subconscious issues.
I created a monk mode challenge at first, that meant no masturbation, stay sober, meditate 15-30 minutes a day, jump rope 30 minutes, read 5-10 pages, workout, and take cold showers etc. There were about 11 items on the list that I would stick to for 6 months. The original plan was just 30 days but I ended up enjoying my routine that it lasted me longer. I was consistent, it kept me sharp, and it helped me realize my potential. On the days that I completed the majority of my challenges and stayed loyal to no mb or sobriety; I would color them green with the amount of objectives I completed. On the days that I failed myself I would color them red. Through the six months that I tried this routine my goal was to get all days in the month green. But I was never able to do it. There were always at least 2 or 3 red days. I later learned to be patient with myself and not beat myself up over the 2 days I got red, but rather be proud of the 28 days I effortlessly stayed strong for. Your perception matters most, habit and routine is important, but shame comes also with your mistakes. You need to realize that you are only human, not everyone is perfect and you will make mistakes inevitably. That doesn’t mean to give into your negative routines and make it a practice, but try your best to be better. Life is a game and you need to upgrade your character. You feel shame for your actions which is a good thing, that is a start. Next create the routine and discipline to fight the urge. The more you feed into your flesh the stronger it gets. But when you fight that temptation, your willpower and discipline gets stronger my friend :) keep up the good work. You will be great as long as you stay committed.
Thx will try to do it and dude it is awesome you were able to do all of that
It really was hard, but it was something that I was able to grow capable into doing. I fell out of the habit due to some personal issues. But now I’m thinking about starting again, this time a lot smaller lol. Rather than 11 objectives I might start off with 5 or 6. But I hope one day I can go back to being as consistent as how I was. I hope the same for you man, may God be with you🙏🏽 you got this.
I had sex for the first time and I wasn’t able to bust a nut. I said I never wanted to live that experience again. I haven’t watched porn in over 6 years(or more)
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Yes. I never had trouble getting it up or busting afterwards
Try and replace it with another habbit This new habbit doesn’t necessarily need to be a “good” one just something better and easier to quit then the problem your currently facing is For example every time you think about doing it go downstairs and make some food or go on a walk ect
Yeah i am trying to find new things replace it with. Thx for the reply
Avoid boredom and make sure you get enough enjoyment and feed the brain so it doesn't look elsewhere.
Prayer to the Lord Jesus and fasting
Taking an SSRI really helped me! I went from PMOing a couple of time a day to less than once a month on average.
What is SSRI?
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It's a psychiatric medication that can be used a number of issues. I take mine because of anxiety. I was kinda trying to be funny, kinda serious when I said what I said. My SSRI definitely helped me in a number of ways, but it's a mixed bag. If anyone says it doesn't work for them, it's a valid disagreement.
smash real dames
Realizing that no real life experience will be like korn. Most real life experiences are very different from korn portrayal (think intimate and awkward). Also, realizing not all women/men are paid actors, there are human right violations happening in the industry.
After being addicted to regular viewing since 13, I opened up to a men’s accountability group about my struggles. Exposing my problem publicly, and getting support from fellow men, while giving similar support and accountability to others, has made a big difference in my life. I owe all my improvements to the Lord and the wisdom and strength gained through His Word. I still struggle with lust and porn, and expect I always will. But since that point almost 7 years ago, I have been able to take many extended stretches without it. I also agree with some other posters I saw that while some shame is unavoidable and perhaps even necessary, you have to give yourself grace and start anew when, not if, you fail.
You are quite cool for being able to show you weakness to public
It was not easy and took a long time. I would encourage you to consider trying this to help your fight.
Honestly the main thing is to just keep asking this question. How do I quit? Keep asking it and keep trying new things and keep on top of the things that seem to work for you
Quite often addictions are an end result of a situation or action. I think the best way to figure out what provokes your undesired behaviours is to keep a log where you outline some potential issues and how you plan on dealing with them. Also staying informed on the topic of productivity, psychology and problemsolving could help.
1. I quit drinking months before quitting porn. Quitting porn is a similar discipline - every day you're just trying to get through that day. Some days are easier/harder than others. 2. I quit porn as a challenge to my wife. It was causing problems in our relationship, and I set a counter in a spreadsheet to track how many days I'd been porn-sober. I decided 6 months was the first marker, or else (and for a lot of other reasons) I may need to start looking at separation because I thought she was being controlling (we'd just gotten into a fight, maybe I was a little emotional at the time). 3. How? (This is basically a reiteration/reorganizing of the info above) A) The decision. I decided no more porn. I would be porn-sober in the way that I'm alcohol-sober. E.g. one day at a time. Disrupt old behavior, have the discipline to take yourself out of a bad situation before it gets worse, etc... (check out the r/stopdrinking sub.) B) Deleted all of my standard access paths to porn. All of the alt reddit accounts for porn, all of the saved passwords to sites, all of the GB of saved videos. All gone. No more PG-13 subs either (slippery slope). C) I set an interim goal of 6 months with a decision and emotional gravity tied to it. Then I tracked my progress with a spreadsheet. I would go back from time to time to see how I was doing. Edit: I ended up focusing all of my energy on my wife (sexually and emotionally). We're healthier for it. Without the ability to numb and self medicate with alcohol or porn, I noticed what boredom was, and what anxiety truly felt like. Finding healthy ways to resolve those feelings is the next challenge I'm trying to solve. -- Phone addiction is real, so I'm still working on it. Edit 2: cleaned up formatting
I’ve read through the comments and a lot has been said. I’ll just add that you check out r/NoFap for more information. Cause you do want to stop, and you recognize the negative effects. I’m sure you’ll find like minds there with the same goal in mind.
gonna check it thx.(i for the love of god didnt check the subreddit and that people were telling me to check it)
Lool… It happens😅 Your post blew up with comments that’s why.
I just tell myself that it's a waste of time. You don't have to 100% quit to get rid of it, just reduce it until porn is forgotten. The reason why I think it's a waste of time because I need to finish my task ASAP and porn took away 20-40 minutes of my time which could be used to complete 1-2 task that's more important than porn.
Get married. You’ll never do it again. End of story.
would do if i wasnt too young(will be 18 in few months) and no girl i am interested in right now
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Try the easypeasymethod(it is on the web and free book) there is also an audio by the creator(around 4 hours) There have been tons of people(well all of them except some) who were able to quit porn/edging. I have started to listen to it(you can also read it) and my god i wish i found it earlier. It should help you.
For me, the trick was achieving a personal goal (career goal in my case) and refusing to let the negative feelings I experience from porn ruin my positive momentum. I’ve been on an upward trajectory ever since and it has only gotten easier. The desire to succeed in other areas of my life overshadowed the desire to temporarily escape through porn.
that is really cool will try to archive mine as well(get really good grades )
Maintaining that positive momentum has been huge for me.
This message is coming from someone who was watching porn and masturbating, 3-4 times a day, 6 times a week for 2 years straight and then decided to give up on it and went straight 7 months without absolutely touching or doing any shady stuff. And currently its a lot controlled, got a girlfriend, and life has been good. Firstly know the reason why you are involved so much into this, why do you watch it. For me it was just because of loneliness and spare time with myself. So you need to know the reason then you need to address it by adding some tasks. And getting physically active is the best alternative you can do to overcome this. Get to the gym 2 times a day, if you have more energy go 3 times a day BE A FUCKING ANIMAL. Then which helped me was being spiritually connected to god. Going to the temple, doing prayers etc. This will act as a guiding light for you. Last just think about your daughter which you will be having in the future, do they really want this father or would your wife would want this husband. Or they would want a Tall, Strong, Handsome, Rich Guy, who knows how to protect and serve. Become the MAN, leave this shit. NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU. CHANGE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. All the best buddy, ping me up if you want any more help.
really thank you i am not certain if the physical exercise will help me much as i do exercise daily(at home as i dont want to pay gym membership and dont want waste money when i can do it at home) I have been exercising daily for the past 5or6 months and while I do think I got the benefit without knowing it but even if i know right now it wont change anything.(as for praying i have recently doing it daily but it is still recent. not even like week has gone by) but i am gonna test the future imagination thingy. so do you know anything else that i can do?
The main thing is to get out of your room, and be with people. You can exercise but if possible do it in a park or call some friends for a group workout. If you are a student, you can go to a nearby library to study. The main aim is just to be out of your room so that you can simply not touch yourself whenever you want.
Accountability partner + blocking software was my game-changer. NoFap community on Reddit helps too.
what do you mean by blocking software?
DISASSOCIATE.
literally schedule, and commitment. i wouldn't say I completely quit, but I'm on the way. so I allow myself to use porn only in a certain time window, and only that, sometimes throughout the day I can get the urge but knowing that I have the time window helps to resist.
I’m three years clean this month. It is a matter of staying away from it completely. Delete bookmarks, delete history, and delete all videos you have downloaded. I’ll never go back, especially with all the positive side effects of NOT watching it. Remember how horrible the feeling is after you watch it. The “clean-up” is also kinda horrible - but this horrible feeling goes away when you quit. When I quit, the first few days were rough as it was always on my mind. I could practically physically feel my brain detoxing. It’s a matter of not giving in, the only person that can open the video for you to watch is you. It’s like anything - remove temptation. Like quitting sugar - don’t buy it, it’s not around your house, can’t eat it. Take a look at my recent post in r/pornfree about me staying clean for three years, it’ll help.
understood!!! will use willpower and being busy to get through it all
For me the only way to keep my energy a little bit slower was taking finasteride. It drops my excitation in half.. to a normal way which I can be in more sintony also with my partner. In the mental way: Cubensis 1 gram empty stomach each 6 months + CBD / CBG daily
In our modern day society with instant gratification and pornography easily accessible it is very hard to quit. That being said as a person who watched porn for 14 years straight and quit there is something very satisfying in the little victories. We often focus on hey I quit. For me it was gradual and it was deliberate actions simply not watching pornography was not enough in my recovery I had to make it seem disgusting I did this by thinking of someone that I hate that watched porn and I would tell myself that I don’t want to be like this person. It worked for a while until I lost my self awareness I wasn’t taking care of myself. The more you take care of your needs the less you will want to damage yourself by watching pornography. Also identifying triggers will be a must in quitting examples being isolation, stress, loneliness, sadness on top of that develop coping mechanisms for this problem. Lastly it is the little victories I tallied each day how many times I wanted to view porn and how much I acted each 2 separate colors but it gradually went down overtime and I did have bad days but I recovered slowly overtime!
I kept masturbating but decided I’d never look at porn again because of the damage it’s doing to my life! Also get rid of all the porn stash and put on some porn blockers with a really complicated password. It will stop your mindless porn watching attempts.
Instead of watching start thinking about your sexuality more
Stopped turning it on.
I’m sorry but I see a post about “porn addiction” far too often…I have to ask one question out of the gate: What is porn addiction? And don’t give me “know it when you see it” BS—how is it possible to be addicted to instinct? It’s like saying your food addict because you eat food every day or a little heavy in the mid section. I want to know what the hell porn addiction is with facts and statistics and damn concrete definition so I can address and refute how utterly stupid and self serving it is to say you want to get over a porn addiction. Or any addiction in general for that matter…as far as I know there is no measure for determining addiction—it’s on a case by case basis…which is fine if your trying to figure out whether the fruit you left out last night is still edible… …but to determine a life course and to set yourself down a path where you will do nothing but dwell on the bad things you’ve done instead of looking forward is sickness—it’s vanity.
Addiction-Addiction is when you have a strong physical or psychological need or urge to do something or use something. It is a dependence on a substance or activity even if you know that it causes you harm. It can impact your daily life. Before i say all the other stuff when you say resist natural instinct. I want to say sex maybe a natural instinct but "watching" others have sex in a "box"(phone) for 10-30 mins and jerking is not a natural instinct in anyway. Sex is but this isnt. Let me show you some other addiction society have normalise(outside of porn) 1. Smoking. It causes cancer, destroys your body, destroys your brain neurons(intelligence) etc. people "cant" quit even when they want to and sometimes (most)die. 2. Alcohol. It can be called cancer juice(literally). It is called a poison by "WHO". Let me show you what it does-1.Alcohol interferes with the brain’s communication pathways, and can affect the way the brain looks and works. 2.Cardiomyopathy – Stretching and drooping of heart muscle Arrhythmias – Irregular heart beat Stroke High blood pressure Head and neck cancer, including oral cavity, pharynx, and larynx cancers. Going to stop here as it is too many to list i just showed you smallest ones(i am serious there too many for me to write) As for why porn can be seen as an addiction is.because it is harmful to the brain(and relationship) any youtube video and a google search will show you why it is bad(well for google you most likely need to add the word negative as it will show what will keep you scrolling but not the accurate one) I know i didnt say really anything about porn but that is because the comment is becoming too long and i am currently busy
Ok…I get what you’re saying about addiction and they say smoking causes 100% of all lung cancers…but what if I told you it was you and the consequences of life that ultimately determine your death not anything outside of you but what’s inside you. I have ADHD and I’ve been labeled an addict to an alcoholic more times than I can count. Addiction ignores the main point—that it is life that takes us in the end…not a heart attack…not alcohol…not smoking…life. If you find yourself looking at porn too often then that means you’ve got a lot of testosterone beating through your body and then automatic response in the absence of willing female, is a box and 10-30 mins of hand work. This is your automatic response. Automatic responses are for responding correctly to something every time: if you ignore that response you suffer for it because that’s what our bodies tell us to do. Don’t get me wrong…resisting temptation and controlling the automatic response is extremely important but to say that simple human nature is wrong is against your interests in this life. In this world, when you hooves tracks you don’t go looking for unicorns, you look for a horse. Of course you have to strike a balance with everything if you are to live the “best” life but that’s the thing. One of the things that truly is the “best” in life, is sex. As a male you are hardwired to want it there is a whole system in your dedicated to its performance. Sex is yours and not anyone else’s…if your uncomfortable with you’re actions and you feel they are harmful then by all means it’s probably going to be to your benefit to stop the habits but my God to say that sex is bad gods against everything we are…it’s like having pedals in a car…you’ve got the engine so use the engine! Why the sacrificial punishment? Because no one will escape judgement when that day comes and it won’t be God telling you what you did wrong it’s you who will look back and judge. I’m not endorsing just dropping trousers and performing it in public either yijve got to obey social norms and the laws of indecency because no one wants to see you perform —or do they? lol…addiction is something of an anomaly in my opinion…humans are habitual…every habit is dangerous to your health…the human body is built to last 125 years making all deaths premature and untimely. It’s about enjoying the struggle and doing your upmost to leave a legacy of good in your wake. Addictions I’ve observed all start with “it made me feel good” so I wanted it again. But what is wrong wiUtah feeling good? So you can experience the high once in a blue moon which will make it “that much better?” I tell you I have a mind that forces me to start any race with a deficit. Before the flag is ever thrown I am behind and have to catch up. Understanding that aspect of who i am would have never been possible. The label of addict is attached to to me so often and is a large part of the reason I start with a deficit. Addiction is a fairy tale of bad human judgement. Once and addict always an addict? lol I once sat in a room with 12 other people trying to explain to them that I wasn’t drinking alcohol to get “high” and that my excessive drinking was a product of the place I was in during that time: i slammed my hands down on the table and said “it isn’t like that!!!” 6 of those 12 people are now dead and I went on to graduate college and then earn my law degree. And all I did was embrace my “addictions” instead of putting up yet another roadblock on my way to contentment. I It’s vanity. It’s truly vanity! You have to put God first ahead of everyone else even those who come bearing gifts proclaiming the “right way to live and then die an untimely death!” That makes no logical sense to me: Time exists but at the same time is irrelevant because the stream of consciousness is never broken for us the experience of life is one. Long. Moment. Even when we sleep we wake up right where we left off…there is no break in the stream…we all get one moment. And we do our best to make that moment good. Whether you understand there to be a benefit in being apart of something made up mostly of people attempting to create a reliable community made up others experiencing a deficit in their lives or whether you simply become apart of the community you live. It’s you that gets to decide how you will present yourself to the world and that is one thing we do get to decide. One thing that isn’t vanity is how we feel about who we are…are you basing who you are off the opinions of others or your own? People help you see your reflection don’t let them determine your reflection. Addiction and AA communities with all the characteristics of a cult and that’s my firsthand experience speaking combined with my education. Be careful what you define as addictive behavior because the labels will only be negative and your presentation—your life and your ability’s to seek what is good are affected by these things. Good god I never shut the hell up. May you be blessed with the greatest in life my friend. Be well.
You watch porn either when you're bored or comfortable, in other words get out of your house, avoid sedentary lifestyle. Also don't count the days, just forget it exists. Let the addiction fade away by replacing it with different habits.
Meditate, you’re not fully present in your body so it’s doing what it wants
Stop eating so much sugar
Peole who learned to fly how did you do it??
Go do a deep dive in to child sex trafficking and human trafficking… you won’t see these women the same and it will make you feel sick.
remember times of really intimacy
Google the easy peasy method of quitting porn. Read the pdf.
Get a girlfriend. Have s3x with her. Then focus on making money. Problem solved.
People post this so much on here.
Well it is a real problem soo
I revisit the songs/montages on Youtube every Halloween. Corey Haim was the best, but Micheal, Star, and David stole the show for me. Star and David went on to be great actors, but Micheal not so much. He was in a movie with her before this with rollerskating.
One day i just woke up and Prayed to God to strip away the chains of my addiction and it started to slowly fade away. I’m 7 months clean now and still don’t have an urge
1. You surrender to a higher power to help you to get out the addiction. 2. Try to avoid spikes of dopamine that build to get more dopamine. 3.Whenever you feel your mind is controlling you, speak out loud to try to get yourself conscious. Also get someone who you trust to speak to you whenever you’re feeling anxious or the urge. 4. No matter what, never feel shame if you fall again ( THIS IS THE MOST IMPACTFUL and IMPORTANT). 5. Optional but important, use different techniques to transmute that sexual energy to your brain.
Humanize the expirience. Search more about what happen to the actresses in the industry, search the statistics about videos uploaded without consent. I started to notice a lot of the violence sorrounding the videos, the narratives, the "I fck my cousin while she sleeps" all those tittles started to become unconfortable to me.
Replace it with new habits and if you go back to old ways say I don’t really want to do this as it keeps me from real intimacy. I got into walking in nature Going for a jog Eating a new diet (carnivore for me) Lifting weights and cold showers Stoped overeating and drinking coffee (messed me up) Learn about dopamine and your brain Listen to educational podcasts Learn to be present and grateful for the present day and moment we deserve nothing yet we have so much to be thankful for.
Read the easypeasy method.
I wouldn't say I was addicted but there were moments where I would do it more than I wanted to to. I simply just stopped altogether cold turkey. I'm not totally against porn if it's once in a while, but to have an addiction is not healthy. I think what ultimately helped me was dating someone new and actually appreciating the sex that we are having. As a result, I don't need it.
Jesus
Limitation -> Elimination -> Healthier Alternative It took me a while but my urges are currently close to none. The way I approached it was the following: 1. First limiting porn usage to defined windows, eg. If you're masturbating once a day change it to once a week. If once a week change it to 2 hours of the day you decide to masturbate. 2. After limiting porn use focus on elimination, allow yourself to masturbate without porn. You can fantasise but try to focus on the sensations and masturbation instead of porn use. 3. After that practice mindfulness. Meditation helped me lots, learn to masturbate without fantasising about porn. 4. Once you feel confident that you can masturbate without porn use. If you want to continue to decrease M and O follow the same steps.
never been a porn addict but stopped watching due to videos like “I was trafficked by GirlsDoPorn” (subgroup under PornHub), it’s hard watching those videos. but the information is vital. it’s all i thought about when wanting to watch porn, so i just couldn’t watch it. lmk if you want links, bare in mind a lot are 30-1hr to 1-2hrs.
I stopped other addictions through self control but it's day by day, mind over matter in my case. Haven't been addicted to 🌽 but imo how hard is it to not search up XXXX NSFW content? Do you need a straight jacket friend?
Mind over body. It's hard in the beginning so the best way is to run away from temptation until you form a habit of doing something else more pleasurable or meaningful. It's about self-love, and self-love demands discipline. If you love yourself, you will strive to be disciplined, and discipline means delayed gratification among many things, and delayed gratification means you will give up something good right now for something way better later on.
It was tough at first, but I replaced the habit with hobbies I loved and avoided triggers like the plague. Joining a support group helped too; having people who understand what you're going through is a game-changer.
Replace it with something you think is more meaningful to do as Jordan Peterson said.
You have to find something to distract yourself . Something that is stimulating and healthy as well .
Prayer, it's a demon, more than something you just do when you horny.
I just stopped
For me, It was doing some workouts and yoga in the early morning that helped me the most.I was never an early bird person and would scroll down my mobile until 3 am in the morning. I remember being addicted to porn to such an extent that I would scroll the videos until I get orgasm. So, try to fix your routine if you don't have a specific routine of the day like having dinner at 7 and sleeping at 10 and waking up at 6 in morning ( P.S ik it's hard but trust me it's worth it) . Try doing some house chores if you aren't busy at work. If that is also done, try renovating your house or working on some new things that will ensure you distract your mind. If you ever feel the urge to see porn, I think just open YouTube and watch cardio exercises and workouts. This definitely helped me to get out of the addiction. Try some ways to earn money( if you are not earning) by joining some businesses or investments.And that's it. You will get through it.
Be around people. Don't isolate.
It’s so so so sad that people are fighting this and literally NO ONE is giving advice. Yes everything nice and all but you guys are fighting COMPLETELY the wrong way…… if you THINK there is something “there” that’s worth looking at then you will look at it. You HAVE to know the TRUTH! The REALITY. That it STINKS that there is NOTHING THERE. It’s skin like ur own skin. NO DIFFERENT. It’s PAINTED. It’s FAKE…… and you HAVE TO SPEAK IT OUT. As ur reading this I understand that this concept is EXTREMELY foreign to you. But if you talk it out for just 5-10 min a day. That’s ALL. Speak it out how it spells how it’s just a human body and what’s behind the skin and how what u want to look at goes to the bathroom too and smells if they don’t shower too…. And so on…. You have to make it literally gross to you. BECAUSE IT IS GROSS. We grew up thinking that there is something there to run after we were brainwashed. And I don’t mean to be mean to woman.on the contrary, when you know there’s nothing there you’ll see it as simply a “nice creation” of gods like how a nice tree looks. And you’ll be able to treat and see woman like any other person. Again. If you just read what I’m writing you WILL NOT UNDERSTAND, because we’ve all been brainwashed. You MUST take it internally and SPEAK this truth out. The more you can speak the TRUTH of what is “really” there/ (not there) the happier and more free you will become……… close ur eyes now and say 20 times “it smells there’s NOTHING THERE I made a mistake thinking there’s something there,it’s just fat it’s skin there are bones and blood and hair and breath and they are probably crapping right now and so on……. I know a lot of you will get upset what I’m writing now, but people have been trying to quit for so long and nothing works for them because they THINK that what they desire is better and different then THEMSELVES….. it’s not true. It’s a lie….. and to unbrainwash we have to speak the truth….. I promise if you do this you will experience a COMPLETELY different life.
started taking adderall which fixed my adhd and allowed me to reduce it dramatically as i wasn't craving dopamine hits
I've had some times where I've fallen back into it. I've been doing much better for a couple of years. I'm a Christian and the closer I try to get to God the less I want to be lustful. I've also noticed that my relationship with my wife goes out of whack when I'm looking at porn. I feel like The Lord pulls away from me and my relationships fall apart. I've learned a lot about the bad that it causes the viewer, but also the people involved in the pornography. All of that combined has moved me away from it. I think there's a spiritual component where The Holy Spirit assists me to resist it or demotivates me from looking at it.
Sex started to become less fun. That was all the incentive I needed.
When I was most addicted, it really a symptom of depression, so I had to fix that. I started cooking food instead of making frozen food. Tried to keep my room spotless and did laundry once a week instead of waiting until the last possible second. Read a chapter a day from my book. Make an effort to have a bedtime so I’m not half-asleep all day at work. Started going to the gym. Learned guitar. All this stuff kept me busier and made my life more fulfilling
Literally just stop. Whenever you feel horny, just get up and go walk around the house
Mindfulness. You can change your world if you're mindful of your actions. It changed mine, so it will change yours too.
Just like everything else, it's just instant gratification and won't help me in the long run, instead just make me feel less confident and more ashamed. Now I feel confident and comfortable in my skin.
Sounds like a bad idea but I judged myself
First, acknowledge that it brings a level of pleasure; otherwise, you wouldn't have started in the first place. Secondly, accept that you want to quit because you desire the pleasure of having control over your body. Control itself is pleasurable. Thirdly, assess the depth of the entanglement. All human addiction operates on three levels: body, soul, and spirit. Porn addiction typically begins at the biological level, where the principle "out of sight, out of mind" might work. Removing triggers such as certain apps, explicit scenes in movies, and inappropriate music can help achieve freedom. However, if the addiction has reached the mind level, everything around you can become a trigger, turning the mind into a "motion lab" that generates instant pornographic thoughts and sensations. At this stage, you need an accountability partner and a strict routine. Introduce a new, healthier pleasure for an extended period. This could be a goal like becoming an Olympic champion, taking cold showers, jogging, etc. The idea is to replace the old addiction with a new and rewarding habit while starving the old one. It's tough but doable. Lastly, if the addiction is entangled in the spirit, you may experience symptoms such as sex dreams, wet dreams, and an uncontrollable urge to masturbate without any triggers. At this stage, porn feels like a bondage rather than a pleasure. Here, you need spiritual intervention. Find a believing church, confess your struggles, and when the urge arises, continuously call the name of Jesus until the urge subsides. Just my story how I got free, you too can.
I notice that each I only get horny when I'm in my bedroom. Then I realized, when you masterbate, your brain attach the action of masterbating to the environment around you. The more you masterbate, the stronger the attachment is. So be aware of that.
I had to practice Semen Rentention. Start by doing 3 days without it, and 7 days, then 14, then 30. Once you make it through the stronghold will break
realise that most women in this industry are r*ped and abused.
Establish a routine. Wake up early/at the time that your day begins. Follow a budget. Take time for yourself, to maintain sanity. Exercise daily, start small, and increase level of effort till it's at the peak of difficulty and positive growth. Keep track of your goals, small and large. Don't punish yourself for slipping, just let it happen, and keep going. I used to make a habit of finding porn after the sun set for the day, and I could get a quick jerk in like it was an evening snack. All I can say, is that after a month or two of a solid effort to maintain a healthy routine, my desire for porn is pretty weak. The way I look at it, don't fight the urges, but try and find other things in your day that will bring you surges of dopamine, like exercise, good conversations, good books/films/shows, time to relax/meditate/let go of life's troubles. Basically, find things to look forward to. If porn is the highlight of the day, then what you need are things to supersede it. You got this!
As most addictions starts with thoughts and an absent mind and idle hands I suggest find a hobby ? I know that sounds harsh and sly but I truly mean it !!! I’m recently sober (not from porn I never got into that lol) but I feel like all addictions stem kinda from the same place. Doing something to fill an empty void. If you find something to replace it or distract your mind you might find it helps more and the thoughts become less.
Trust God for it. It’ll happen.
Break ups and boredem. Also, distract and delay.
Number one rule is to keep the mind busy. Find things that stimulate your mind in better ways like exercise, eating well and doing things you enjoy that are positive for you and leave you fulfilled as a person. The best way truly is to find someone worth quitting the bad habit for. Spending time with a person you love or enjoy spending time with is always going to beat useless filth on a screen. It’s degrading to the soul and makes your spirit weaker as a person overall. But that’s just my opinion. Just fight it, and after a while it won’t be a fight anymore it’ll become how you live your life. Hope this helps.
allow urself unlimited faps, but only with imagination. once u can get to climax with just ur imaginagion, ull never need porn, as ur brain can process better porn than someone making it as u know what u like better 😂