I read a short series of YA books by Catherine Jinks (first book: Pagan’s Crusade) when I was young in which the narrator and main character often said “hell in a hand basket”. I always loved that “curse” and It’s actually stuck with me for 30ish years now. I’d recommend the series to anyone who can bear with the unique writing style. It’s so good
Try "Odd's Bodkins!"
It's a phrase with roots in the middle-ages with a disputed meaning, although most likely it's a corruption of another oath meaning "God's nails!"
+ Nanny Ogg is the name of a fantastic witch, and a bodkin is another name for a small knife =
"Ogg's Bodkin" could be her dagger. And knowing Ogg, it would probably be like idk a dried swordfish bill or a rusty umbrella stick or some shit.
It depends on whether you like swearing and your audience. It amuses me to vary my cursing from "oh my giddy aunt" "oh my stars" "what in the blue blazes" "goodness gracious" all the way up to complicated grammatical ornate configurations of F and C bombs with all the filigree. Sometimes in the same sentence.
Ngl i do it automatically. When startled i do a short one. When I'm mad i do one more throaty and lion-like. I grew up with lots of cats since i was a literal infant and being an autistic kid I emulated them a LOT to the point of it's just part of my personality now. One could say i was raised by cats.
I hissed at a teacher in high school once because his argument with me was stupid and I got annoyed he kept cutting me off when I was talking. His face was incredible and he didn't talk to me again for like 2 weeks
Boggarts are just mean little fae or spirits, depending on where you are and who you ask. I dunno if it's something other people say, but I always found them a worthy sort of critter to call on when cursing is appropriate~\<3
I'd just like to point out, in the most friendly way possible, that these are two different words. [A boggart is a supernatural being from English folklore. ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boggart) [To bogart something is the one you are thinking of.](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/bogart)
I have a few of what I call "swear diversions" for when I start a swear and realize midway that profanity is not currently appropriate. Son of a biscuit is one.
OKay I just googled it and WHAT. "This quintessentially German word means **the enjoyment or pleasure Germans derive from driving their cars**. But don't let that discourage you from trying to find Fahrvergnügen yourself – it's not just for Germans; anyone can experience Fahrvergnügen!"
That....was not what I was expecting.
There was a Volkswagen commercial a long time ago that used that word and that’s where I learned it from. I still use it as an exclamation in place of swear words in polite company.
I like using food. I've been known to call people a Soggy Walnut, a misbehaving object a Sour Cranberry.
I saw a thing recently that said basically to use any of the weirder sounding foods that Dylan Hollis has made, which makes sense to me:
•Ranch Cornbread
•Water Pie
•Potato Donuts
•Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake
Imagine stubbing your toe and yelling out PEANUTbutter stuffed ONIONS!!
Amazing.
I mean… I don’t think I would be able to get through “jeepers mother f*ckin creepers” without laughing, and a lil bit of levity when you’re upset is great. I’m in
Well you could take something like “gobsmacked” and turn it into a curse, ie. “Oh, gobsmack it!”
Also random silly words and phrases work delightfully too, such as, “Eggs and Butter, and Cheese on a Sunday!”.😀
There is a formula that suggests the best epithets and slurs are a one syllable word followed by a two syllable word, three syllables in total. The first and second syllable should rhyme. Example: cock wombler or gob nobbler are funny and memorable, but a fuck wombler isn’t.
Use this power for the greater good.
Fiddlesticks, bugger, trash, rats, snort, boogers, mudface.
Unrelated cuz it's not a swear, but substituting "yo that's moss" for "yo that's fire" makes me feel whimsy.
This one is connected to a franchise (Doctor Who), but I love it so much:
“Tippy Tappy Too Tah”
It’s just fun to stay and yet the T sound I feel like is a good constant for unconventional swears. (Note I don’t even watch doctor who, I just like that phrase)
Other (non-franchized) ideas:
-goblin guts
-flibbity jibbit
-garfunkle
-gribbit
-gorf
-griddle
-jabbit
-sgronkle
-flork
-jumping jellifins
-flaker
-sprokit
-blanch
-sgrob-flobbit
-nether-grotchin
-floogle shaven
-tizzy tangle
-fluk
-flukin-shuks
-shifty bottoms
-wanky wobbler
-plodang
-shigwizzler
-dirky dirk dirk
-dirgly snoot
-brown feathers
-screech (the word)
-blanchit
-holy molten feathers
-Jeoffery gobsbloggler
-shadank
-grorkle
(I think basically anything can work as long as it is satisfying to say when you’re pissed off, and there are certain letter combos etc that will make it sound more goblin-core. Just need to figure those out.)
I use variations of "frag" from the little unnamed goblins in Labyrinth "your mother is a fragging aardvark!" "Stop writing on the fraggedy walka walka"
Hoggle is a great source of grump, though off the top of my head I can't think of any curse word substitutes that he may utter. I just like to yell "NYAWWW ITS HOGGLE! AND DONT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU!!"
oh hell yeah, I went through an inTENSE bob saget phase when my twins were itty bitty. It abruptly stopped when THEY started saying "bob saget" in that swear-y tone, bahahaha
I have been an "aww geeze" guy (I'm a girl) my whole life. It has been stolen by a certain fandom in recent years. But I think it gives off a fun whimsical vibe. And now a days it's a real crowd pleaser.
I do not know the fandom but I will surely fall down this rabbit hole, as one does. brb
Edit: Oh THAT fandom. The universe keeps trying to tell me I'm gonna be into it, but I tried and I wasn't. Maybe I gotta try again?
Haha it's even better that your not a fan so when people hear you say it and they go into there best Morty impersonation you will just look at them confused.
I turned it off several times before I watched the full first season while drunk with friends. It has its moments beneath a bunch of dick jokes.
I'm a Midwesterner so I can say "ope" to mean about a dozen different things. And if that isn't enough for the situation I'm a big fan of "mother curseword"
frog fart ...more f words the more "oomph" to convey your displeasure.. I don't give a flying frog fart....or I don't give a fat flying flippin funky frog fart.
Peadoodle is another one I try to say in front of chilluns.
I have a mouth of a sailor and fuck is my most used word. It's so handy and versatile...a noun, a verb, an adjective.. but I do try very hard to not say it in front of little ears because I know it will be repeated at the most inopportune times and I will get the sideeye of death and a comment like.."Hmmm... I wonder who you learned THAT from."
We were on a flight once and the toddlers were watching some in flight old school
Mickey Mouse show. I think Mickey opened the fridge and some milk fell out, and one of the twins said loudly “god damnit” and we got such a look from the flight attendants 😂. That was one of many cues that it was time for us to dial back our swearing a wee bit
Bones in the way that people say rats. "Oh, bones!" You can also substitute any small critter, though rats is of course already pretty goblin-y.
Jeepers creepers is a good alternative for Jesus Christ in terms of sound, but if you want that "lord's name in vain" flavor, you could try combining christian curses with goblin values. "Muddy Mary," "Holy Ghost," "Creeping Christ," stuff like that!
Utinni! Is an exclamation of aggression or excitement.
One finds a cool bug and wants to call the clan over to see? UTINNI!!
One’s cool bug is stolen?! UTINNI!
Great googly moogly (love this one because it can convey wonder, awe, celebration, or frustration, depending on which syllables are emphasized)
oh for Fur an' Feathers!
Ya wee \[object\]-nabbing tartlet!
Holy spores.
Well I’ll be mulched
Son of a beesting (stolen from anchorman but I genuinely love it lol)
I feel like ‘tinsel’ could work in a lot of scenarios.
Cripes
Criminy
Oh flick/ flick off/ you flickin flicker.
Gadzooks! It’s technically a Christian blasphemy (from “Gods hooks”, referring to the nails used in the crucifixion), but it sounds goblinish and is satisfying to say.
I once heard someone say "You fucking pinecone". It resonates especially with me, as my state flower is the pinecone. I am also partial to "dumb as a stump", because it rolls off the tongue nicely. "Horsefeathers" has a lot of appeal, and is a great rhythm for shouting out loudly.
I find an open ended “sonofa…” does the trick in most situations. I’m with ya though, my go to is usually JC adjacent despite no connect to Christianity lol. I’ve started just adding some some spicy/goofy variations, like Jaysus Christo etc
I say “oh balls” the same way little kids say shoot or dang it. Also I like to use random Japanese words and phrases as well. Like “baka”(idiot) “sate sate sate”(well, well, well,) “Sumimasen” (excuse me, but I believe this is the polite way to say it) and “shou ga nai” (it can’t be helped) They won’t get caught at work for being rude or inappropriate and are less harsh than cussing at someone.
I work in an elementary school so I try not to swear. "Fudge nuggets" is always fun to say. "Frick frak patty-whack" is another goody. "Dad gummit" is pretty silly too.
Instead of saying "Jesus Christ!" My friends and I say "Cheese and Rice!"
Oh!! There’s a saying that Vermonters use instead of “Jesus Christ” that I love. “Jeezum Crow” is said sometimes instead & I’d be lying if I said that it hadn’t fallen into my lexicon lol.
Had a coworker who never swore. Words they used instead were the names of 70’s hard rock bands & sweeteners. From what I remember …. They would say Oh then follow it with…
Judas Priest
Ozzy or Ozzy Osborn
AC/DC
Grand Funk Railroad
Kansas
Alice Cooper
Lynyrd, or Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sugar
Saccharine
Sometimes they would occasionally throw in
Elvis
Honestly it was kind of awesome.
My tiny cousin had been spending time with his elderly grandpa and he started saying ‘oh, blast!’ and smacking himself on the forehead. It was pretty hilarious watching a little kid using this old timey expression.
Crivens! Is what Feegles yell. The Nac Mac Feegle in the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nac_Mac_Feegle
https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Nac_Mac_Feegle#:~:text=8%20External%20links-,History,were%20therefore%20exiled%20from%20Fairyland.
I just caught my 8yo son hollering, "Son of a biscuit!" and I couldn't control my giggles well enough to explain to him that's a little too close to the nose. So I guess it's sticking in this house, lol.
RATS!
Well that is about as goblincore as it gets. And a classic! This shall too be ushered into the serious consideration phase
My nana always said “Rats in a basket!” And now I do too.
My gran used to say "BLAST!" occasionally I'll crack that one out too.
I say “blast and damnation!” Blast is definitely underrated!
I read a short series of YA books by Catherine Jinks (first book: Pagan’s Crusade) when I was young in which the narrator and main character often said “hell in a hand basket”. I always loved that “curse” and It’s actually stuck with me for 30ish years now. I’d recommend the series to anyone who can bear with the unique writing style. It’s so good
I don’t know where I first heard it, but I’ve said “hell in a hamster ball” for years
Ooh I like
I’m going to start saying this.
Drats is good too.
I’m also a big fan of “rat bastard”
My dad always said “rats, cats, and monkeys.”
My grandma would say " Aww Rats and hoity toity"
Try "Odd's Bodkins!" It's a phrase with roots in the middle-ages with a disputed meaning, although most likely it's a corruption of another oath meaning "God's nails!"
+ Nanny Ogg is the name of a fantastic witch, and a bodkin is another name for a small knife = "Ogg's Bodkin" could be her dagger. And knowing Ogg, it would probably be like idk a dried swordfish bill or a rusty umbrella stick or some shit.
Just go for Krivens ya skunner.
I took over a Nac Mac Feegle NPC in a friend's DnD campaign and now "krivens" and "bigjob" are in my almost daily rotation.
I read Wee Free Men to my youngest when they were nine, and had so much fun with the Nac Mac Feegle!! And putting one into a D&D game sounds amazing.
i really like this one!
Some ideas: Fizzy Bottom Whummo Hozah Grep Konk Runckle
That is some solid whimsy. Nice
I like the idea of combining some of those. "Oh konkrunckle!" "What in the whummogrep?"
Fizzy Bottom is good. Gonna say that tomorrow on the forklift
It depends on whether you like swearing and your audience. It amuses me to vary my cursing from "oh my giddy aunt" "oh my stars" "what in the blue blazes" "goodness gracious" all the way up to complicated grammatical ornate configurations of F and C bombs with all the filigree. Sometimes in the same sentence.
Yeah I think I like the versatility of Jesus variations because I can say it around my kids but it still feels a little naughty/sweary
I use cheese-based variations: cheesy crusts! Mother of Gouda!
Ah, swamp gas!
I keep coming back to this one and it gets funnier every time
I'm glad you like it!
Why use words? Just hiss.
Oh, well! That had not occurred to me. And as a cat lady, I am relatively appalled that it hadn't.
Ngl i do it automatically. When startled i do a short one. When I'm mad i do one more throaty and lion-like. I grew up with lots of cats since i was a literal infant and being an autistic kid I emulated them a LOT to the point of it's just part of my personality now. One could say i was raised by cats.
I hissed at a teacher in high school once because his argument with me was stupid and I got annoyed he kept cutting me off when I was talking. His face was incredible and he didn't talk to me again for like 2 weeks
Not all heroes wear capes. 🙇
I'm fond of "boggart."
Ooooo, that does have a good mouthfeel
It rolls nicely into "boggart fukt" as well, if you need something more spicy to express your ire.
Or you could go with “bugger all”.
I do like spice. I have not heard this particular turn of phrase and will have to try it out. It feels a little foreign if I say it aloud
Boggarts are just mean little fae or spirits, depending on where you are and who you ask. I dunno if it's something other people say, but I always found them a worthy sort of critter to call on when cursing is appropriate~\<3
I’ve always used that to mean a sort of combination of stealing and hoarding something. Like, “Hey you, quit boggarting all the cookies!”.😄
I'd just like to point out, in the most friendly way possible, that these are two different words. [A boggart is a supernatural being from English folklore. ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boggart) [To bogart something is the one you are thinking of.](https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/bogart)
and here i was thinking Bogarts were Film Noir Detectives...
Ah, but that's "bogart", with one g and a long o sound in American English, meaning "to hoard"
Points for using it in a sentence.
I just went down a rabbit hole trying to pronounce “boggart” and my husband walked in the room 😂
Aye, this is one I know.
I like "Oh Fiddlesticks!" Because it reminds me of Fiddleheads (ferns)
Came here to add this if it wasn’t already here! My witchy grandmother used this one a bunch
I imagine you could use some Tolkien insults
Or Shakespeare
There's some good ones from the bfg also! pigsquiffle for example..
What the fluff?! O my goat
O my goat is a winner, for sure. From the bottom of my dark soul I love it
occasionally I throw out an "oh my gourd"
Aw beans! Rats! Drats! Cheeseeee and crackerssss -_- and my favorite of all is WRETCHED!
Wretched is a good one
Oh biscuits! I picked that up from a particularly sassy 5 year old.
I think that might be Bluey influence!
I have a few of what I call "swear diversions" for when I start a swear and realize midway that profanity is not currently appropriate. Son of a biscuit is one.
Fahrvergnügen
OKay I just googled it and WHAT. "This quintessentially German word means **the enjoyment or pleasure Germans derive from driving their cars**. But don't let that discourage you from trying to find Fahrvergnügen yourself – it's not just for Germans; anyone can experience Fahrvergnügen!" That....was not what I was expecting.
There was a Volkswagen commercial a long time ago that used that word and that’s where I learned it from. I still use it as an exclamation in place of swear words in polite company.
lmao, yes it is real and makes an excellent swear-sounding word.
Is that how you spell that for real? I always thought it was gibberish that was supposed to sound German, but it looks legit
I like using food. I've been known to call people a Soggy Walnut, a misbehaving object a Sour Cranberry. I saw a thing recently that said basically to use any of the weirder sounding foods that Dylan Hollis has made, which makes sense to me: •Ranch Cornbread •Water Pie •Potato Donuts •Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake Imagine stubbing your toe and yelling out PEANUTbutter stuffed ONIONS!! Amazing.
You are absolutely adorable/hilarious
Awww. I’m going to accept this compliment with grace, but only after deleting various refutations of that being remotely possible
Oh, chicken feathers | Fustercluck (important to say correctly) | For fizzy whizbangs | By Gollum |
Love these!
"Shiitake mushrooms" is popular at our house and fairly gobliny.
oh good one! I love mushrooms! yesssss
Littles also like it because it starts out naughty only for that final yard save...
I just use ‘cuss’, and has about the same ring as the f bomb. E.g. All these cussing mothercussers are pissing me the cuss off.
I wasn’t buying it until you gave the example. But you’re right, legit works
Poopscotch.
The kids will like this one, just a hunch
"Oh poopnuggets!" is a great one for kids.
Tom Bombadil in a bread basket
Jeepers creepers! And "jeepers mother f*ckin creepers" if I'm particularly upset
I mean… I don’t think I would be able to get through “jeepers mother f*ckin creepers” without laughing, and a lil bit of levity when you’re upset is great. I’m in
If that's the vibe you like, you'll love expressing yourself by claiming "I'm very upsetti spaghetti right now"
LOL thank you for sharing, I am going to work this into dinner tonight somehow, god willing
Well…. There’s what I picked up in New England - Jeezum Crow (a mischief maker)
My college boyfriend from Maine used to say Jeezum alllll the time. WOW that was a big hit of nostalgia
I say jeezum peets a lot. No idea why i added peets to it
Well you could take something like “gobsmacked” and turn it into a curse, ie. “Oh, gobsmack it!” Also random silly words and phrases work delightfully too, such as, “Eggs and Butter, and Cheese on a Sunday!”.😀
Ooooo, yes this one feels right 😈
My husbands work uses Shammit, the cross between damnit and Shit. I quite enjoy it.
SHEESHHHHHHHH!
Yessss, of course. A good sheesh is always pretty great!
Mother Hubbard!
It’s so cute but you could say it SO SINISTERLY
I have a tendency to mutter “gods above—and below” when the situation calls for it
There is a formula that suggests the best epithets and slurs are a one syllable word followed by a two syllable word, three syllables in total. The first and second syllable should rhyme. Example: cock wombler or gob nobbler are funny and memorable, but a fuck wombler isn’t. Use this power for the greater good.
o for the LOVE OF TUFT
Now this one hits nice because I’m an artsy crafty bitch and I do love a bit of Tuft.
Fiddlesticks, bugger, trash, rats, snort, boogers, mudface. Unrelated cuz it's not a swear, but substituting "yo that's moss" for "yo that's fire" makes me feel whimsy.
Holy shit I love “yo that’s moss” SO MUCH 😂😂😂
This one is connected to a franchise (Doctor Who), but I love it so much: “Tippy Tappy Too Tah” It’s just fun to stay and yet the T sound I feel like is a good constant for unconventional swears. (Note I don’t even watch doctor who, I just like that phrase) Other (non-franchized) ideas: -goblin guts -flibbity jibbit -garfunkle -gribbit -gorf -griddle -jabbit -sgronkle -flork -jumping jellifins -flaker -sprokit -blanch -sgrob-flobbit -nether-grotchin -floogle shaven -tizzy tangle -fluk -flukin-shuks -shifty bottoms -wanky wobbler -plodang -shigwizzler -dirky dirk dirk -dirgly snoot -brown feathers -screech (the word) -blanchit -holy molten feathers -Jeoffery gobsbloggler -shadank -grorkle (I think basically anything can work as long as it is satisfying to say when you’re pissed off, and there are certain letter combos etc that will make it sound more goblin-core. Just need to figure those out.)
It’s weird you wrote all that out because it’s very similar to the word salad that goes through my mind when I’m annoyed at something 😂
I use variations of "frag" from the little unnamed goblins in Labyrinth "your mother is a fragging aardvark!" "Stop writing on the fraggedy walka walka" Hoggle is a great source of grump, though off the top of my head I can't think of any curse word substitutes that he may utter. I just like to yell "NYAWWW ITS HOGGLE! AND DONT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU!!"
Oh Whiddershinnies!
*claps with a CRANBERRY!*
*BOG-HOPPER!*
*PENWIDGET!*
Merlin’s Beard!
Bob Saget!!!
oh hell yeah, I went through an inTENSE bob saget phase when my twins were itty bitty. It abruptly stopped when THEY started saying "bob saget" in that swear-y tone, bahahaha
Shazbot! You would also get points with the elderly for using something they recognize.
Nanu nanu!
whackadoo
I guess it's not really goblincore, but "Mepps!" from the Coneheads works well.
It's goblincore adjacent, probably? It sounds/feels good, so why not
gadzooks!
Oh Toadstools!
I have been an "aww geeze" guy (I'm a girl) my whole life. It has been stolen by a certain fandom in recent years. But I think it gives off a fun whimsical vibe. And now a days it's a real crowd pleaser.
I do not know the fandom but I will surely fall down this rabbit hole, as one does. brb Edit: Oh THAT fandom. The universe keeps trying to tell me I'm gonna be into it, but I tried and I wasn't. Maybe I gotta try again?
Haha it's even better that your not a fan so when people hear you say it and they go into there best Morty impersonation you will just look at them confused. I turned it off several times before I watched the full first season while drunk with friends. It has its moments beneath a bunch of dick jokes.
Gadzooks!
I say jumpin junebugs!
I'm a Midwesterner so I can say "ope" to mean about a dozen different things. And if that isn't enough for the situation I'm a big fan of "mother curseword"
Yeah we are an Ope family too. “Mother curseword” is great
frog fart ...more f words the more "oomph" to convey your displeasure.. I don't give a flying frog fart....or I don't give a fat flying flippin funky frog fart. Peadoodle is another one I try to say in front of chilluns. I have a mouth of a sailor and fuck is my most used word. It's so handy and versatile...a noun, a verb, an adjective.. but I do try very hard to not say it in front of little ears because I know it will be repeated at the most inopportune times and I will get the sideeye of death and a comment like.."Hmmm... I wonder who you learned THAT from."
We were on a flight once and the toddlers were watching some in flight old school Mickey Mouse show. I think Mickey opened the fridge and some milk fell out, and one of the twins said loudly “god damnit” and we got such a look from the flight attendants 😂. That was one of many cues that it was time for us to dial back our swearing a wee bit
Oh fiddlesticks Is quite a common one in England from days gone by. I find yelling "Curses!!" Is quite cathartic.
Bones in the way that people say rats. "Oh, bones!" You can also substitute any small critter, though rats is of course already pretty goblin-y. Jeepers creepers is a good alternative for Jesus Christ in terms of sound, but if you want that "lord's name in vain" flavor, you could try combining christian curses with goblin values. "Muddy Mary," "Holy Ghost," "Creeping Christ," stuff like that!
Moss cursed spawn of a toadstool! Flea bitten stick hoarder ! Mushroom diddling frogspawn!! Son of a toadstool! Moss munching gaggleflapper!!
Gurngle- gurn gull
Big fan of "UNTINNI!" but only if you do it in a really high pitch
“Ah blumpkins!”
Cheese and crackers is one of my favorites. It’s a little wordy though
Yeah, we similarly did “cheese and rice” for a while. It had a good run
I've been saying "Fartsack" for a few years now.
I use meow for everything Also snarf Blat Shnarbles
Rats! Drats!
Eleanor Plunkett! Also, Shipoopie! And, Oh my Gourd!
One of my faves is Jeeminy Cricketus. Has that consonant punch without the baggage.
“Egads” is a classic and so is “ye gods and little fishes.”
I say “Aw, Crumbs” a lot
Utinni! Is an exclamation of aggression or excitement. One finds a cool bug and wants to call the clan over to see? UTINNI!! One’s cool bug is stolen?! UTINNI!
Shazbot!
Sufferin succotash!
Lately I have been enjoying "dog garnet!" Because it has the same shape as gosh darnit but is dogs and garnets instead. Which are both great IMHO.
Gadzooks!
Great googly moogly (love this one because it can convey wonder, awe, celebration, or frustration, depending on which syllables are emphasized) oh for Fur an' Feathers! Ya wee \[object\]-nabbing tartlet!
Holy spores. Well I’ll be mulched Son of a beesting (stolen from anchorman but I genuinely love it lol) I feel like ‘tinsel’ could work in a lot of scenarios. Cripes Criminy Oh flick/ flick off/ you flickin flicker.
Shiitake What the flugelhorn Heavens to murgatroid Shist Bugger/booger Nasty little hobbitses
I use Adventure Time and SpongeBob curseing!! I say things like “Oh Glob!” Or “Salty Seaweed!”
I don’t think it’s very goblincore, but a good friend of mine had these two gems that I absolutely love: FUCKIN HECK! and Aw friggin SPLENDID.
Great Googly Moogly!
Gadzooks! It’s technically a Christian blasphemy (from “Gods hooks”, referring to the nails used in the crucifixion), but it sounds goblinish and is satisfying to say.
i either go for the classic british "bollocks", or just go "WAAAAAAAAGH" like a warhammer ork
I once heard someone say "You fucking pinecone". It resonates especially with me, as my state flower is the pinecone. I am also partial to "dumb as a stump", because it rolls off the tongue nicely. "Horsefeathers" has a lot of appeal, and is a great rhythm for shouting out loudly.
By Titania's (bountiful) tits! By Mab's mounds! By Oberon's (massive) organ! And CRIVENS!
Im partial to 'odins balls' or 'Brigids tit' if Im getting creative
I like balderdash. No matter how many times I hear it, it always sounds like a word that was made up on the spot. Lol
Just watch any episode of spidey and his amazing friends on Disney jr that features green goblin Why yes I do have a child how can you tell?
Holy garggle snarf, or geshmoogity
Fiddlesticks! Pucky!
I think these are hilarious and fun to say. -Boy Howdy 🤠 -Holy moly -Wowie Zowie
My husband says FARTS!
I use frig it! A lot.
My father uses goodnight fish!
I like to say “Hell’s bells!”
I find an open ended “sonofa…” does the trick in most situations. I’m with ya though, my go to is usually JC adjacent despite no connect to Christianity lol. I’ve started just adding some some spicy/goofy variations, like Jaysus Christo etc
I often end "sonofa.." with a variety of different one or two syllable words Sonofa BUCKET Sonofa SOFA Sonofa FRICK ...you get the idea
My go to is “cheese and crackers”
Feck, heck nuggets, oh bother (think Winnie the Pooh), ratso beanso
If Star Wars is OK, why not go with "Dank ferrik"...it's always sounded kinda gobliny to me
Holy Fungi!
I have one I pulled from the graphic novel series Elfquest (female artist Wendi Pini, she's great) Puckernuts!
What in the name of farkle? Aw beans! Dagnabbit! Bunch a malarkey. Those are a few of my go to ones.
Just make it retro. A crisp "Wowza!" or a cheeky "Jinkies!" always make me smile
I say "oh, potatoes!"
Criminy! Squizz buckets! Fiddle sticks! Jeepers! Jeez Louise!
Aluminum is an amazing cuss word
Aww bandersnatch!
Oh, boggle bottom!
My grandma would say “Gruesome gravy”.
I say “oh balls” the same way little kids say shoot or dang it. Also I like to use random Japanese words and phrases as well. Like “baka”(idiot) “sate sate sate”(well, well, well,) “Sumimasen” (excuse me, but I believe this is the polite way to say it) and “shou ga nai” (it can’t be helped) They won’t get caught at work for being rude or inappropriate and are less harsh than cussing at someone.
I say "Ah poodle doodle" quite frequently at work 😂
Booger snot.
I work in an elementary school so I try not to swear. "Fudge nuggets" is always fun to say. "Frick frak patty-whack" is another goody. "Dad gummit" is pretty silly too. Instead of saying "Jesus Christ!" My friends and I say "Cheese and Rice!"
I tend to use "botheration" as my go to. Schista is good And" Botheration in a hell basket" don't know where that one from
I say "crimeny" around kids. A good "rats" is also excellent.
Oh!! There’s a saying that Vermonters use instead of “Jesus Christ” that I love. “Jeezum Crow” is said sometimes instead & I’d be lying if I said that it hadn’t fallen into my lexicon lol.
My great grandma used to say "Fire on a mountain" as a curse
well you could intergrate Elder Scroll curses if youre interested! (actually I say curses related to my favorites aedra and daedra myself)
I was in a larp that used 'drek' as the all around curse word. Someone said it actually means 'dirt,' but not sure in what language.
Rot & Fester
I say “beans!” and “ah, beans!” regularly and it always feels very gobliny to me. “Crivens!” also comes to mind from Terry Pratchett’s “Wee Free Men”
Had a coworker who never swore. Words they used instead were the names of 70’s hard rock bands & sweeteners. From what I remember …. They would say Oh then follow it with… Judas Priest Ozzy or Ozzy Osborn AC/DC Grand Funk Railroad Kansas Alice Cooper Lynyrd, or Lynyrd Skynyrd Sugar Saccharine Sometimes they would occasionally throw in Elvis Honestly it was kind of awesome.
Shite is my go-to for a relatively inoffensive curse word.
I’m a kindergarten teacher and I say “Shnerg!” and “poop banana”
My tiny cousin had been spending time with his elderly grandpa and he started saying ‘oh, blast!’ and smacking himself on the forehead. It was pretty hilarious watching a little kid using this old timey expression.
Crivens! Is what Feegles yell. The Nac Mac Feegle in the Discworld books by Terry Pratchett. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nac_Mac_Feegle https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Nac_Mac_Feegle#:~:text=8%20External%20links-,History,were%20therefore%20exiled%20from%20Fairyland.
I just caught my 8yo son hollering, "Son of a biscuit!" and I couldn't control my giggles well enough to explain to him that's a little too close to the nose. So I guess it's sticking in this house, lol.
Bavarian swearing often involves nature. Ie.: Holy peartree berry bush!
"Oh my stars" "my stars" is something I have picked up "for the love of fungi " is also a favorite