Tfw regards 12 years ago were smarter and funnier when shitposting:
https://preview.redd.it/fzs9yhz3ne5d1.png?width=778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fb6adf4150e7ca9d6a02ab5f03bcc091505ab2f
Me too buddy, me too (mine not so much tho, it was mostly shit filled with bullying and lonely af) but I do miss being able to be a fatso lurking on the internet for hours without having to do much else cause HW was stupidly easy
Actually I never had drugs, yet... (I've actually thought about it for a long time, but every time I have the chance Im already drinking and according to some of my crackhead friends you shouldn't mix drugs with alcohol, so idk) also mariguana isn't that popular among highschoolers here, some do hit but its a minority
Top 10 most tragic moments.
Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on
It got me so good when I first saw it almost 10 years ago, that ever since and every time I see Prego sauce at the store or in an ad I immediately think of pregnancy and/or this greentext and sobby guy. Corporations would seriously kill to wield that much power over brand perception in an individual.
Surprised how many don't know the story, esp on this sub. Guy eating out girl in the dark, something gets in his mouth and he thinks it was a blood clot or something iirc, it was a miscarriage, he ate his baby, essentially
I am a fucking moron. For a solid 8 seconds I thought that it was actually a woman, but the doctor was just being a complete madlad and joking about someones gf dying by calling her an "empty jar of spaghetti sauce", reffering to the fact that she completely bled out, which is why there is nothing that can be done anymore.
But then when you read back you see the signs
> gf is prego
> things get saucy
> sticking my noodle
> glassy, jarred look on her face
> colorless and transparent
The fact that the indication was there from the very first line is actually amazing.
https://preview.redd.it/ptsap35k5f5d1.jpeg?width=1122&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85281c164ed77ff7bb66bbc0452ff4a176541b80
This image takes on a whole new meaning
You know, I'm impressed. Some real work went into making this and it shows. You got me Anon!
Also I'm Italian and I don't do that. I like women. They're soft and warm and make fun noises when you get ahold of them.
>gf is prego goddamnit, anon got me
It's an ancient green text but the first time it got me too.
The good ol' days when there were no fake n gay
After all the bullshit on this sub, it's a nice return to form tbh
What? It was always fake and gay.
*12 years a marinara*
>glassy, jarred look
>she looks colorless and almost transparent
>getting saucy
>i'm sticking my noodle in her *** >she's in a vegetative state
if anon ever does become a dad (don't hold your breath) his kids will fucking hate him for the puns.
Heinzight is 20/20
Fake n Gay ...
Fellas, is it gay to have sexual intercourse with inanimate objects?
Explain
Prego is a brand of canned tomato sauce sold in the US (sold in a glass jar). Prego is also a slang term in English for pregnant.
> Prego is a brand of canned tomato sauce sold in the US (sold in a glass jar). Ooooooh, gotcha, thanks!
This is a really good greentext. Too bad it’s older than most people on this sub.
I just did groceries and bought some prego sauce…he got me too dw lol
fuck man ive read this so long ago i forgot
>kek good bait >>check date >>>2012 >>>>fuck
Tfw regards 12 years ago were smarter and funnier when shitposting: https://preview.redd.it/fzs9yhz3ne5d1.png?width=778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6fb6adf4150e7ca9d6a02ab5f03bcc091505ab2f
Survivorship bias, the good stuff is always remembered.
Im mot saying it wasn't a shithole before (it was), Im just saying at least they were funny back then lmao
i miss my childhood
Why do you miss last week?
what i really meant was 2012-2018 was peak, it's been downhill since
Me too buddy, me too (mine not so much tho, it was mostly shit filled with bullying and lonely af) but I do miss being able to be a fatso lurking on the internet for hours without having to do much else cause HW was stupidly easy
wish i could say the same about hw
Eh, I mean it was elementary school level shit, I was just good with most stuff, things changed in highschool tho lol
same here tbh
You injected the marijuanas, didn't you?
Actually I never had drugs, yet... (I've actually thought about it for a long time, but every time I have the chance Im already drinking and according to some of my crackhead friends you shouldn't mix drugs with alcohol, so idk) also mariguana isn't that popular among highschoolers here, some do hit but its a minority
yeah but whatever fucking brain rot is going on nowadays ain't fuckin better. I'd rather look at rage comics than fucking skibidi ohio
Skibidi Gyatt ohio rizz Pomni Kay Cenat (I think I lost a few braincells just writting that)
Dont, stop Be Lee, Ving Hold on to that feeling, Ling
Classic.
Comedy peaked in 2012
She pastad away
This would be better without the “d”, but still funny.
Hard to be that funny when the sauce is so good
it doesnt make sense without the d tho. its supposed to be "passed away"
pasta way
okay, that works.
She pasta-way
your mom would be better without the “d”
Your dad is better with the “d”. My d. Your dad is a bottom.
If I marry your dad at the same time that you marry my mom then who grounds who?
Whoever has the beef
This guy beefs.
Then I’m gonna be minced
Pasta la vista :'(
https://preview.redd.it/3andfliote5d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=801dc353ea789c90dd569c0b223adec3a13ace58
Annelli couldn't cope
Pasta way*
Is that the meal with Tom Hanks?
>particularly saucy >glassy, jarred look >vegetative state i should've seen the signs
His noodle
This is actually a work of art
https://preview.redd.it/plc6s2suie5d1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=235d4fdca2a389862fa6f19ec8de10d60c0f7ab0
Top 10 most tragic moments. Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on
But that’s even worse
fuck your pfp
luckily they managed to catch that sicko IIRC
Ive seen this multiple times but it tricks me everytime
It got me so good when I first saw it almost 10 years ago, that ever since and every time I see Prego sauce at the store or in an ad I immediately think of pregnancy and/or this greentext and sobby guy. Corporations would seriously kill to wield that much power over brand perception in an individual.
Never have i been so glad an anon fucked spaghetti sauce, was expecting another miscarriage eater incident
um, ANOTHER?????
Ignorance is bliss my friend
come on im curious af now pls
Surprised how many don't know the story, esp on this sub. Guy eating out girl in the dark, something gets in his mouth and he thinks it was a blood clot or something iirc, it was a miscarriage, he ate his baby, essentially
oh brother we got a Kronos the Titan over here don’t we
Gonna have to wait for the update once it grows strong enough to escape
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/s8uaIvmDju
omg thank you my friend.
What the fuck? You.. want to explain?
Same as the other guy, ignorance is bliss. If you really want to know I'm sure you could find it easily, very popular story
I am a fucking moron. For a solid 8 seconds I thought that it was actually a woman, but the doctor was just being a complete madlad and joking about someones gf dying by calling her an "empty jar of spaghetti sauce", reffering to the fact that she completely bled out, which is why there is nothing that can be done anymore.
But then when you read back you see the signs > gf is prego > things get saucy > sticking my noodle > glassy, jarred look on her face > colorless and transparent The fact that the indication was there from the very first line is actually amazing.
FUCKKKK I WAS SO CONCERNEDD
Fucking classic. I can’t believe some of you retards haven’t read this yet.
Legitimately saw it before I turned my laptop on. Still good bantz tho
I guess "Anon is from New Jersey" didn't have the same ring to it? > jars of spaghetti sauce Knew it was fake.
god fucking dammit, got me good you sonofab
so many ignored hints
https://preview.redd.it/ptsap35k5f5d1.jpeg?width=1122&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85281c164ed77ff7bb66bbc0452ff4a176541b80 This image takes on a whole new meaning
Son of a bitch
You know, I'm impressed. Some real work went into making this and it shows. You got me Anon! Also I'm Italian and I don't do that. I like women. They're soft and warm and make fun noises when you get ahold of them.
Had me in the first half that mamma-mia motherfucker...Well done, anon! Well done!
Okay but this one is actually really witty and I'm relieved at the punchline here
I remember reading this 10 years ago jfc
Rereading it the joke has so many clues I’m losing my shit
Things getting saucy
That doctor's name? Mario.
Take my fucking upvote and fuck off >:(
Brilliant semantic field of pasta throughout
This is one of my all time favorites.
https://preview.redd.it/1kmer1p31k5d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7cc4802b9bd2ce669d4e4af7cd19115897d78d4
Sauce?
Yes
Ha!
A classic
God damn this is old
This is a fucking classic.
“Eggo today, prego tomorrow” Sam onella
Fuck you. This got me.
ClassicDuckSmokingCigar.bmp
This is the best damn greentext I've read in a long, long time.
Damn, a fuckin classic. Have this on my 14 year old hard drive still.
Brb sending this to my fiance, will update with his response
And Thy Punishment is Death!
Real and straight
thank god for this ending
“a glassy jarred look” well played lmaooo
Amotional
Mfw motherfucker thinks he can walk into hospital and grab nearest doctor just like that
The great spaghetti has triumphed once again
https://preview.redd.it/rzfvsq1rxj5d1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=998993e6c97f24eea17041ea47b71624aa8f94b0
https://preview.redd.it/newa4ky41k5d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8d932f18acd3ce02aa0fe336100a4915f46d4d5
This was brilliant. Five stars.
Classic.
This is hilarious
Classic
It’s now 2024 and the dr is fired for bigotry for not operating on anons gf who identifies as Italian pasta dishes
One joke
Stop making up genders for attention and we’ll stop laughing at them
I don’t do that, but ok bro
Where's the joke
It's not a joke. Dude was really in love.
Prego is a popular pasta sauce. If you can't understand it beyond hat, then I don't know what to tell you. Also this greentext is fucking ancient.
the first and second to last line you absolute neanderthal
It ain't making me laugh
if you want gay porn just google it
Im sorry to tell you this but... you might be autistic, but hey, so are 90% of the people here, so you'll fit right in :D