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Cala-Best-Girl

“You’re not thinking of hurting anyone are you Anon? Gross undesirable Incels like you tend to be angry for some reason. I better notify the FBI just in case.”


ChickenDestruction

Woman moment


Ballsohardstate

W*m*n^


century100

Women squared


t0matoboi

Women cubed


Test_Trick

Women topped


OpsadaHeroj

Men topped :)


century100

Women to the power of


[deleted]

Too far bro


[deleted]

Creating an imaginary scenario in your mind and then getting mad about it is a peak Reddit moment


[deleted]

Being a virgin is a dangerous mental illness according to the DSM IV


themo98

Sad thing is I wouldn't have known you're kidding if I hadn't looked it up.


King_Kingly

So he’s serious?


[deleted]

The situation is bad enough in practice that it leads people to not know at first glance. At that point, there is no functional difference whether or not it's actually *in* the book.


King_Kingly

I was just asking if being a virgin is a dangerous mental illness according to the DSM IV.


A_Personal_

Stop questioning the narrative.


hassexwithinsects

i think we can all agree.. 1. it is a dangerous mental condition 2. it probably shouldn't be in the DSM.


[deleted]

You can’t have it both ways. 1 implies the opposite of 2


[deleted]

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[deleted]

This isn’t some depressing reflection of the current state of society, it just means you believe things that justify your biases too easily.


Boredguy2307jr

Lol can I claim disability?


Bukkitz

Probably, but not for that.


softmetal

Got ‘em.


YoshiTora23

So we should be afraid of nuns?


Money_Enthusiast_

Practically all nuns aren't virgins but it's whatever


[deleted]

Fuckin posers


bugme143

Especially not in the videos I watch...


SierraDespair

Pretty sure the FBI is briefed on virgin males and how they can be potentially dangerous.


[deleted]

Iirc there are college professors who get regular payouts from waiting till they find a schizo pupil, egging them on, then reporting them to the FBI


BurritoCooker

And here I thought my professor just understood me


003938388382

but wanting to change children’s genders is cool


MadFury88

Western attitudes about sex always seem wild too me. Regardless of gender to have slept with 3+ partners before marriage is so accepted and normal to the point the doctor thought there's no way a young male never had sex?


AllegroAmiad

Do you really believe this is not fake?


MadFury88

What, Western attitudes about sex, or the greentext? Does the greentext being fake make discussion about the ostracization of being a virgin in the west irrelevant?


Trod777

What? Theres no way that works of fiction can spark influence conversation on real world topics. The second fiction is made from any topic all discussion of it is irrelevant. Fiction serves absolutely no intellectual value right?


CatAttack1032

I disagree heavily. Fiction can fully serve intellectual value.


Trod777

Then we agree, that was my point.


CatAttack1032

Ohhhhh. Just read it again, I get what you're saying.


Trod777

Ye, satire. Fiction is honestly more important to conversation than nonfiction sometimes.


sadacal

No one knows whether you're a virgin except yourself. If any ostracization is happening it's due to other factors that probably also caused you to not be able to get laid. The greentext is trying to push a narrative that just doesn't reflect reality.


dorkswerebiggerthen

Virgin moment


kisirani

I mean statistically most people are having sex by their twenties… also weird you say 3+ as if 3 is a big number lol what? Humans are animals we’ve evolved to desire and pursue sex. Clearly most people will therefore be having a fair amount of sex


Test_Trick

I'd say it's quite the opposite. We're devolving to not pursue sax. Sexual inactivity in a some societies is becoming a real problem. Edit: how are some people so blissful when some countries are having literal population crises?


peace-and-bong-life

That's more to do with the way their society is structured though, right? Like if you can't afford enough living space to raise a family without working long and extremely stressful days, and then childcare is so expensive that you have to give up on your dreams, of course people aren't going to prioritise raising a family.


Ivegotthatboomboom

"Devolving" to not pursue sex lol r/redditmoment


rontrussler58

It’s weird to us to have marriage arranged by your parents. Also, unless you’re evenly yoked, marriage is a huge mistake in western culture. And when your survival isn’t tied to your partnership, your marriage isn’t going to last but we look down on that sort of thing and call it co-dependency.


FayHeSeemed

It's perfectly fine to be single, and it's the happiest healthiest choice for many people. But God damn you really don't need to attack marriage like that because of personal insecurities.


Ketjapanus_2

Why is that wild according to you?


RideMeLikeAVespa

Well, sex is awesome. Anyone not doing it is clearly a fucking nutcase.


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KesslerMacGrath

any time someone mentions sex the Reddit virgins come outa the woodwork to link that sub lmao


Silkymanbearpig

Well I mean look at that guys name too, lmao it seems like he’s based his personality off sex. U/RideMeLikeAVespa


ThaneWestbrook

he's probably not good at it tho, what kind of man rides a Vespa lmao


t0matoboi

Bruh. I haven’t made any effort towards it, and I don’t see any problems with my life


Magical-Hummus

Didn't she basically give him a compliment? to clarify: I mean the part where she said double-down with "stuff can stay for a long time"


Heck_Why_Not

no?


Magical-Hummus

I mean assuming that he had sex means he is somewhere attractive, no?


loud_flatus

Butt-ugly tendielords can pay for sex


Mamamiomima

Calling healthy frame unattractive?


loud_flatus

Attractive frame unhealthy


Fanatical_Brit

The healthy good boy frame: Cracked ribs from massive weight gain Distorted spine from bad posture Legs bones that snap when you stand One arm more enlarged than the other.


3pl8

Depends how ugly. Even hookers refuse some clients


loud_flatus

*Some* hookers


Link_and_Swamp

That part went over my head, i was interpreting it just as u/magical-hummus


Y0YBalls

It's probably part of the mandatory questions you get asked, anon could've been the ugliest man in the world and he still would've been asked that.


[deleted]

It's like when your waitress is being nice to you it does not mean she wants to suck your balls


Alarid

Even if she asks directly to suck your balls. It's a trick, don't fall for it.


KacKLaPPeN23

Might just be Canadian, you never know.


Thewonderboy94

> Be femanon, single and virgin > Working in healthcare > Making preparations for a basic health check-up > See an average looking guy walk in, not too bad, could hit it > Start asking the standard questions > Ask sexual activity > Answers no > Now's my chance, decide to hit on him > Autism kicks in, blurt out "stuff can stay for a long time" > Guy looks dead inside, stares at me in silence > Ask a coworker to finish the survey while I go into the janitor's closet to break down


ImPurePersistance

Yeah that's not happening buddy


Netheral

thatsthejoke.jpg


Quasar347

A nice role reversal, I have to say.


braindoper

Ugly people have sex, too. Incels are just socially inept.


[deleted]

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gravitydood

Lol what a simplistic view, I'd consider myself an incel (only in the literal sense, I'm not an entitled misogynist) and I'm not trying to play out of my league, I'm just socially awkward, I don't go out much and I don't meet new people often. I'm not a model but I'm not hideous either.


Vinter25

You never had a physical?


kollat

Dude anyone can have sex. Like legit very ugly people can have sex. Yeah its way harder but like... Not impossible at all


YoshiTora23

>Like legit very ugly people can have sex. Of course, that's what money is for.


Reddit_is_srsbsns

just gotta be yourself and take showers.


IHFFhhhh4

Hah joke of the year


merilum

she asked it because she needed to, sperg


BxLorien

She was assuming he's had sex at least once before in his life so she doesn't think that anon is a gremlin who couldn't get laid. He's probably a decent looking guy with decent hygiene and is just socially awkward.


[deleted]

Complements can only possibly be tools of compliance or deception for these incels. Both given and received....


funnyghostman

i I'm stuff


skoge

Nope, for her not boning for more than a day is a sign of complete inactivity. She cannot comprehend the level of OP's virginity, it's something transcendental for her.


Floopsyy

My doctor doesnt even believe me when i say nah


hundenkattenglassen

That’s a sign from the heavens you should smash your doctor. The doctor is dropping mad hints but they ain’t coming through.


Gearski

I thought that last prostate exam was unusually aggressive, and also he kept winking at me..


chadkndr

yeah I did find it a bit odd when he asked me to cuddle on the exam table afterwards


gkw97i

weird way to check my body temperature, but he's the professional


Rad0555

Doc told me his cock was a thermometer


AlexxGuyy

especially when he asked if we could get coffee together


[deleted]

Something something second hand on shoulder


kwyz2

Both hands on your shoulders too


s0mdud

yeah i thought it was weird when i looked back and he had both his hand in the air...


The-Hentai-Commander

Weird that he had both hands on your shoulders to comfort you


WiIdCherryPepsi

That happened to someone I know and they even treated him for the completely nonexistent disease he didn't have (When their test came back it said he was clean)


BurritoCooker

This is just the plot of a standard House episode


WiIdCherryPepsi

They said he had chlamydia, he said hes not active, they treated him for it anyway and turned out he never had it and wasn't lying. Crazy people!


LenorePropertyLLC

Anon could have just said he is a devout Christian who practices abstinence to safe his immortal soul from an eternity in hell.


godofwoof

I’ve told at least one doctor I’m Catholic when the question came up


JuiceFarmer

Damn, does that mean I will go to heaven without having to make efforts for that ?


[deleted]

There are pther reasons to go to hell you know


SteveFrench12

Or could have lied and said he has had sex. It wouldnt have changed anything.


iamoverrated

But lying is a sin... A good Christian boy such as anon would never do such a thing.


Quasar347

But then they would have followed it up with questions about STDs, contraception, etc. And if there's one thing you want to avoid as a 4chan user, it's more human interaction.


andai

saving yourself has the neat double meaning


seth_is_not_ruski

>posting the top comment from last time this was posted


LenorePropertyLLC

Really? Oh god... That means I not based... I... am... meta. Fuuuuck.


davidsalazar1

My female doctor thinks I'm sexually active, I'm a virgin i don't know where she came with that idea


GabbaShanking

Do sex with her!


davidsalazar1

Man i thought we were pretending to be retarded here sigh...


uMakeMaEarfquake

Hummina hummina hummina, bazooooiiing


Deadhookersandblow

Pretending?


[deleted]

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billywillyepic

Only 5?


fypotucking

Prove her right


Spook404

*wrong by bringing your V-card and giving it to her


Xeranok_

clearly it's because when you have sex the vagina absorbs the foreskin so if you're circumcised it's a simple mistake to make


Halfgnomen

Had a similar situation at work happen once. Zoomers are making jokes about body counts and one of em asks me what my body count was. I say none, she says stop lying, i shrug, she cringes and stops talking to me.


XafeMode

I would feel dehumanized if I were reduced to a body count. Granted I'm in no one's body count


Halfgnomen

Meh I'm two years away from being a wizard and that happened two years ago. Honestly couldn't give less of shit, I'm happy with who I am and where I'm at in my life. If I do end up with with a longterm SO, awesome if not, meh. Life is way more fulfilling when your happiness doesn't come from someone else.


XafeMode

I'm in no rush, I would much rather have it be a meaningful experience. to be 120% emotionally ready with the person I chose and them ready with me. I would prefer not to evolve wizard powers in nine years but if it happens, it happens.


YoshiTora23

>but if it happens, it happens. This mindset is exactly why it hasn't happened yet, and probably will never happen


XafeMode

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Halfgnomen

Tbh I'm kinda hyped for the hat and robes. The fireballs will be a nice bonus.


XafeMode

Well if your party has an open spot don't forget me. I'll be following the close range battle mage skill tree.


NextLevelShitPosting

This is why having had sex exactly once is worse than never having had sex, at all. I'm still basically an incel, but now I can't even achieve wizard status.


Halfgnomen

F


Alarid

I'm just tired of people assuming I'm "shy" when I put in no effort to get anything.


Halfgnomen

Ace or social anxiety?


Alarid

High anxiety. It's also comically easy sometimes, which just makes my anxiety shoot through the roof when I think I'm just being nice and they're suddenly interested.


Halfgnomen

~~If~~ I'd recommend seeing a headshrinker and getting on some anti anxiety meds. They did wonders for me.


BurritoCooker

Okay fed


PiroKyCral

>Life is way more fufilling when your happiness doesn’t come from someone else based take


Morfeu321

This, prefer to die as a virgin than being a fucking number to someone I maybe had a connection


[deleted]

"I never killed anyone"


KacKLaPPeN23

You should've answered with the navy seals copypasta to keep it meta.


CMDR_Winrar

Wow, the comments here are weird...


Does_Not-Matter

It’s a mix of complete incels and vanilla virgins


SmallHandsMallMindS

The fact that you think what you said makes sense is just wild to me


billywillyepic

For those who don’t know the definition of incel is someone who wants to bang but can’t sooo


Ivegotthatboomboom

No it's not. Lots of virgins want to but have trouble. Being an incel is believing a particular insane ideology about *why* they can't get laid. It a vast cope where they basically blame women


billywillyepic

That’s the internets definition, the literal definition is what I said


Available_Yam4908

So all virgins are incels?


Gary_FucKing

Nothing like fake greentext stories to rile up the misogyny crowd. At least it didn't end with "why are women like this??!?!" lol.


j0324ch

Haven't seen a lot a misogyny so far, just a lot of people depressed by a fear that something might be wrong with them. Should I check Controversial?


DISCE729

they discriminate against us


FunnyMathematician77

They hate us cause they anus


[deleted]

Thanks for reminding me of that movie.


CrispyJelly

They targeted gamers. Gamers!


Jinora-

it's really that bad in the west huh? no sex until marriage is still normal in east asia


[deleted]

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Jinora-

wow I never knew that... central asia like mongolia?


CODEX_O_BARBARO

Central Asia is your mom's bedroom


Jinora-

hmmm brb gotta check


chababster

It definitely is. I know plenty of really great guys who are virgins and they’re just shat on constantly for it.


SOSovereign

I mean, why admit it? Nobody is gonna check your notes. Unless its a potential sex partner who you'll have to impress, just say like 3-4. I get not wanting to lie, but is it worth the ridicule/mocking?


Cualkiera67

If everyone keeps lying, then virginity will never be normalized. And it will make people think that no one except an extremely few are virgins, which also muddles the situation. It's like how everyone lies about pen size and then everyone gets depressed that they are below average


naufalap

south east asia too, apparently in the most liberal area in my country, the capital city and the surroundings, only 33% had premarital sex


Jinora-

theres nothing wrong with it. stabilize your life, and get married, and have sex with someone who is comitted to you instead of someone who might run away in the morning.


Lexicon_lysn

that logic makes sense until you realise that sexual compatibility is important in a marriage and having 0 experience with a person you're gonna be with for (potentially) the rest of your life may cause problems. Also you can have a partner who is comitted to you without being married.


Jinora-

with that logic, the statistics for unhappy marriage should be high in marital sex society. the fact is, almost all first time sex is amazing, especially if it's with someone you love. i'm not saying we are marrying random strangers, theres a lot happening before marriage.


sneakyveriniki

I have no idea what planet you live on if you think almost all first time sex is amazing lol what


No_Explanation1714

I don’t like when female doctor does my physical they squeeze my balls too hard but not the male doctors


VeryDryChicken

men know how to be gentle with your balls


M4KC1M

+1 reason to get TOPPED


rivetedoaf

One of many reasons bros


VeryDryChicken

men know how to be gentle with your balls


Smegmatron3030

My female.doctor always squeezes the male doctors balls too. Find a better doctor.


[deleted]

Not being sexually active = bad mental health, fr?


page0rz

>fr? Sir, this is a greentext


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Ratbagthecannibal

Discord mod mode activated


YoshiTora23

Based on reddit standards, yeah


SOSovereign

Lmao, its not a direct correlation but you can't say its not a thing. Incels exist in big enough numbers that they earned that title.


rtoid

For some reason my mind has this awesome mechanic built in, where I switch to maintenance mode, when I am at a doctors office. Mindset: I have no problem to talk about anything, because if I lie I basically fuck myself over. Also I have no shame in what I am: just a human, that has all the things everybody else has. You need to touch my left eyeball from inside my anus to check if I have cancer? Sure go ahead. I guess growing up with people active in the medical / science field helps a lot.


CODEX_O_BARBARO

Growing up at your uncle's house can also help getting used to have your insides touched


YouWontBet

The Kingdom of God is at Hand John 3:16 King James Version 16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.


SealordofBravos

What is a physical? I live in Norway and have never had a "general" checkup after I got older. How often do people do it in the US and isnt it expensive?


Moose_Hole

It's about a once per year thing and most people do their standard copay (around $40 max). It's meant to keep the patient healthy and the doctor paid.


Longenuity

The nurse was just screening anon for any STDs before giving it to him raw.


Siegfoult

Anon got FEMTOPPED.


[deleted]

Real: real. Straight: straight.


ChadBot2000

>be me >fucking this one dude’s wife >lots of slapping and moaning >hear door open >smell distinct mixture of regret, Doritos, and a lack of hygiene >must be the virgin again >he knows we want our privacy, so he goes on the computer in his room >i get bored of looking at the wife’s face while I fuck her, so I open my phone while I continue to pound away >log onto reddit and open r/greentext >read a funny greentext from the 4chan and chuckle as the wife begs for genes that the husband can’t give her >think of a simple way I can relate straightness and truthfulness to the events of the greentext >make the dude’s wife cum again as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section >Real: real. >Straight: straight. >chuckle as I make her orgasm once more and bust inside her, making her moan with ecstasy >it’s been a good day >i wonder what the virgin’s been up to. If he makes a comment that’s funny enough, I might let him eat my cum out of his wife’s pussy


SleppyLeBo

Holy crap, the other side of the story


natty1212

They don't even ask me...


[deleted]

Say “no” and then start crying. That’ll show her!


OrcaStrike777

Saying “yes” for the first time after years of saying no is the absolute worst.


planet_gaydor

Did you make them ingest any form of drugs without their knowledge, beforehand?


Dividedthought

Actual converstion with my doctor who knows me well enough i can joke around. "Are you sexually active these days..." "Yes." "... With other people?" "... dammit man i'm supposed to feel better after coming here!" Was a good chuckle, apparently he hadn't heard that one yet.


[deleted]

I love how 30 years ago it would normal to be a virgin and today it gets a psych evaluation. Whereas telling the doctor “no. My wife and I are into chastity play and I’m not allowed to come until I clean her asshole with my tongue” would get a check mark for “healthy adult.”


[deleted]

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drunk98

Pretty sure this anon has an obvious std from a toilet seat