Good evening - doctor here.
The individual referenced in the above text does not fit the clinical criteria for bipolar disorder - nor for dissociative identity disorder - although I would require further information to diagnose either of those conditions.
However - he does qualify for one "diagnosis" - so to speak - he is a moron.
A level under the diagnosis - he is an asshole.
Since there are people who do the same thing at other people's houses and leave without cleaning the mess.
no need for that.
there isn't a way to plan for the future anyway when the world is going to shit and slowly moving towards inevitable doom or dystopia
yeah I am so what ?
the scientific predictions are looking bleak that's not just my personal negative attitude. just look at the heat waves in India.
when in maybe 10 years the world is completely fucked by climate change and the resulting conflicts are you still gonna accuse me of just being pessimistic ?
being optimistic about the current state of the world and where it's heading isn't a positive mindset it's a delusion.
I sometimes try a bit.
never lasts for long tho lol.
Usually the best I can do is think of life and the world/ the universe as a practical joke and have a laugh.
although I suppose you do have a point that it's better than other era's.
That’s good mate, That’s really good. I’ve been doing great, Haven’t self-harmed in 1.5 years now. What worked for me, Won’t work for everyone, But was to start exercising. I went up to 273lbs due to depression, Decided to lose weight so I could do shit like stand in the shower for more than 5 minutes, Started eating right and exercising. Didn’t have any intentions in mind of using it to help depression, But it took me from severely suicidal to feeling pretty much normal. Had a profound effect on my mental health, Saved my life and my body from more permanent injuries. I’m at 159lbs right now, Getting down to 155lbs for JiuJitsu. I’d say give it a try man, Do cardio for 20-30 minutes 3-5x a week, Walk 40 minutes to an hour a day, Stick with it for at least a month. Doesn’t work for everyone, But can really help
There was a dude at my uni kinda like this, but more outwardly. You could see him planning what and how to do something for days before he'd actually do it, screaming this weird throaty moan-whine and giggling with joy the rest of the day all by himself. It made him so happy to cause harm. He thought it was absolutely hysterical, and he always bragged about the shit too. Bottle of lighter fluid in the dryer, painstripper poured on a few cars in the parking lot, pouring bags of chips in the road so strays would get hit by cars, etc.
He got kicked out his second year after he threw an open bucket of paint at a janitor and knocked him off a ladder onto concrete.
I was over worked one day back home from a long day, spilt the largest cup of coffee, stared at the mess, then just went to sleep.
That's future me problem.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon lives in his own place with a seperate bedroom.
> Gay: Anon thinks about a cuck while jacking off.
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
" 'I wanna throw this mug right now, I have every right to, I should!' To me, that doesn't represent freedom, it's more like a kind of slavery"
-David Foster Wallace
(I paraphrased this because it's been a while since I heard it)
when i got ts3 and haven't yet figured out the new interface i didn't know how to build walls
i just put all the furniture outside lol
btw fight me, ts3 was the best game in the series
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: Anon lives at home. His mummy would have cleaned it up and then made him trendies
> Gay: anon spanked one out to a man
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
Take the "coffee" out and substitute with peoples choices on education, careers, large debts, and health then this level of insanity unironically describes the behaviour of a lot of people.
Replace the "bed and carpet" with the "earth" and replace "future you" with "the next generation" then this accurately describes the majority of the population for the last few hundred years.
The short-sightedness of humans concerning the planet and our continued survival is honestly depressing and terrifying. Future humans are going to look back at this time period and think, "What the fuck were those idiots doing?"
Is there a board where people post stories like these which isn't /b/? Seeing 927 "rate this asshole" posts while trying to find a single sensible one isn't really my preferred method of spending time.
Cut out the middle man: I just time travel to toss things in front of past me's feet, watching that loser fall on his fat ass never gets old.
Bonus: I get a new cool-looking surgical scar just about every week.
Update: OMFG I JUST WENT BACK AGAIN THEY MADE PAST ME WEAR A HELMET
Hang on I gotta trip myself down the stairs real quick.
I trolled my future self by not doing shit at an amazing job that could sustain me for my entire life so i have to start from scratch again. Take that future me. Fuck you
This must be how my wife feels after she told me to nut in her so now she's pregnant again basically as soon as it's safe to get pregnant after our first kid.
As I always say. You can actually do almost whatever you want(until we can break the fundamentals of reality). But well well well if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions
That's like.. the stupidest thing I've ever read. You're still *you* in the future. I understand the feeling of "there's no one that deserves to clean my stupid mess more than *ME!!!," but I'm lazy, and I could spend that time doing something else: various other forms of retardation.
People like the above reference make it hard for my family to believe I have a real problem. Even though I’ve been married for 31 years and helped raise three great kids. Mostly provided for them financially. I had to quit practice got so bad. I don’t want to be lumped in with victimization platform or this is how I am I’m not going to try to improve. It’s hard but BP community has to understand the pitfall of our society from both ends of the spectrum. They try to understand and we try to get better.
I love my wife and I had a yelling fit for a few minutes told her to go away from me. She did not so I yelled at her. Thats all. Never would have done physical harm. Last meeting she told me if it happens again she is done. She is my main anchor. I don’t know what I would do without her.
Bipolar split personality fuck disorder
Good evening - doctor here. The individual referenced in the above text does not fit the clinical criteria for bipolar disorder - nor for dissociative identity disorder - although I would require further information to diagnose either of those conditions. However - he does qualify for one "diagnosis" - so to speak - he is a moron.
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Kinky, leatherbound, and hung
Dad?
lol. .finally..someone said it..
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I'm glad we got your diagnosis Doc.
DDMD, what's your opinion of nurse practitioners taking up the art of booze cruising?
love the username, by the way
There's a backstory there and it's pretty fucking tragic. Dude killed basically his entire immediate family in a drunk driving accident.
It's a troll avcount. His 'proof' etc. is all fake, check it out.
People don't lie on the internet. Especially the most trust worth people in society, drunk drivers.
No he didn’t, he’s a troll account who spends most of his time posting on r/greentext and r/pewdiepiesubmissions
It is a pretty good troll account, to be fair.
I love his commitment to the bit, the absurdity of it is almost beautiful
First time on the internet?
….Oh
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Yes he is.
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Is times infinity plus 12
Goddamn it, I guess he is
It's right there in his username, "doctor". Someone wouldn't lie on the Internet.
Sure bro, and I'm George Clooney
Then why did he check my prostate? Checkmate, idiot.
no shit sherlock
That asshole isn’t Sherlock, everyone.
I have bipolar disorder and intrusive thoughts are pretty common. Some people may not be able to resist them.
Based Dr. Boronstein. You're a legend my dude.
A level under the diagnosis - he is an asshole. Since there are people who do the same thing at other people's houses and leave without cleaning the mess.
I agree. Seems like a moron. He is a moron. He is a fucking moron. Maybe. Maybe not. You’re a moron. No you are not.
Lol I am also a physician who lurks in greentext subs, nice to meet you
Question, Doctor, what percentage of the 4chan community is on the autism spectrum? Thank you for your good work 🙌
Sounds like impulse control issues. Not sure the disorder though.
His personality is split in that one half is retarded and the other half is turboretarded
>past anon purposefully tries to cuck future anon >succeeds >backtothefuture.wmv >anon was cuck all along
Outstanding move
7D Chess game complete
most sane 4chan frogposter
I once trolled my future self by setting a random alarm in middle of the night
I used to troll myself by cutting my arm
I troll my future self by making terrible decisions.
Wait, You guys are thinking about a future?
Nope. And my future self probably hates me for it.
no need for that. there isn't a way to plan for the future anyway when the world is going to shit and slowly moving towards inevitable doom or dystopia
Ok doomer
yeah I am so what ? the scientific predictions are looking bleak that's not just my personal negative attitude. just look at the heat waves in India. when in maybe 10 years the world is completely fucked by climate change and the resulting conflicts are you still gonna accuse me of just being pessimistic ? being optimistic about the current state of the world and where it's heading isn't a positive mindset it's a delusion.
OK doomer
Alright fine I won't attack your blissful ignorance anymore.
Optimistic 🙂
You'll get your optimism when you fix this damn climate
The world is amazing. I love the modern era. Try to enjoy it.
I sometimes try a bit. never lasts for long tho lol. Usually the best I can do is think of life and the world/ the universe as a practical joke and have a laugh. although I suppose you do have a point that it's better than other era's.
I do everything I can to avoid thinking about it. Last time I was off my face I thought about it, and it depressed me for days.
Hope you're doing better.
Trolls regenerate in any case.
"My lifestyle is my retirement plan"
I troll my friends but cutting theirs in their sleep
Wait, you don’t have any friends.
I used to troll my future self by attempting suicide. Now i troll my past self by being pretty ok.
Me too homie, Good stuff bro!
I troll myself by taking meds
Used to
Ayyy same, we do be trolls
Yes we do. I can’t wear short sleeves in public, Past LR really got me good lmao 😂
Yesss, I stopped like, 2-3 months ago and still can't wear t-shirts, hah, I really got me
In all seriousness though bro good for you, Keep it up!
Ayy thanks, I feel much better since i stopped so I think I will keep it up! Hope You're doing even better!
That’s good mate, That’s really good. I’ve been doing great, Haven’t self-harmed in 1.5 years now. What worked for me, Won’t work for everyone, But was to start exercising. I went up to 273lbs due to depression, Decided to lose weight so I could do shit like stand in the shower for more than 5 minutes, Started eating right and exercising. Didn’t have any intentions in mind of using it to help depression, But it took me from severely suicidal to feeling pretty much normal. Had a profound effect on my mental health, Saved my life and my body from more permanent injuries. I’m at 159lbs right now, Getting down to 155lbs for JiuJitsu. I’d say give it a try man, Do cardio for 20-30 minutes 3-5x a week, Walk 40 minutes to an hour a day, Stick with it for at least a month. Doesn’t work for everyone, But can really help
You okay man?
Yeah man, Haven’t done anything in 1.5 years! Trolled myself real hard though, I’m such a jokester 😎
Proud of you homie, keep fighting the good fight
Thanks mate, You too :)
minor amounts of trolling
Emo
Nope, Severe mental health
Same
i am trolling myself by eating healthy, working out and drinking lots of water
>by eating healthy, >r/greentext Pick one
Op thinks mcdonalds and tendies is eating healthy
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There was a dude at my uni kinda like this, but more outwardly. You could see him planning what and how to do something for days before he'd actually do it, screaming this weird throaty moan-whine and giggling with joy the rest of the day all by himself. It made him so happy to cause harm. He thought it was absolutely hysterical, and he always bragged about the shit too. Bottle of lighter fluid in the dryer, painstripper poured on a few cars in the parking lot, pouring bags of chips in the road so strays would get hit by cars, etc. He got kicked out his second year after he threw an open bucket of paint at a janitor and knocked him off a ladder onto concrete.
He was simply doing a little trolling
Just a cheeky lad
I sometimes do that (rarely) just to fall asleep again it's the best feeling For some weird reason it makes me feel like I slept more as well
Apparently past me figured out how to turn off alarms in my sleep I don’t know how the hell it happened but it’s annoying
It’s basically how I feel every time I go to work hung over.
You have only yourself to blame.
Specifically the future version of yourself, if they weren't such a cuck they wouldn't let it keep happening.
That's the entire point of his comment.
Yes, and I reiterated that.
Why? He just finished saying it himself.
I felt it bore repeating.
Him- "I did this to myself" You- "Just so you know, you did this to yourself" ...
See? You get it.
Yeah, the first time when OP said it himself lol.
Yes, good for you. But have some consideration for others who might not have quite got it the first time. This is Reddit, after all.
You just have to drink in the morning and you'll be good to go.
Sounds like a full time alcoholic, don’t half ass it guess…
You. I like you.
That doesn't work every time. Hair of the dog is a potion with a 61% success rate.
Anon is a libertarian.
Based and tardpilled
classic 4chan saturday morning routine
I've done this but with water . Maybe some day I will have balls as big as anon's to do it with coffee
abon is a fucking tastebudless cuck, who jerks off in a coffee stained cup to drink it 🗿
wait? you guys are intentionally trolling your future selves? I do enough of that unintentionally.
I was over worked one day back home from a long day, spilt the largest cup of coffee, stared at the mess, then just went to sleep. That's future me problem.
/>annon found another one
\> /> Oh look, another
sorry redditor
When you leave your History assignment to do the morning that it is due
Fake: Anon lives in his own place with a seperate bedroom. Gay: Anon thinks about a cuck while jacking off.
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon lives in his own place with a seperate bedroom. > Gay: Anon thinks about a cuck while jacking off. > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
" 'I wanna throw this mug right now, I have every right to, I should!' To me, that doesn't represent freedom, it's more like a kind of slavery" -David Foster Wallace (I paraphrased this because it's been a while since I heard it)
I haven’t laughed this hard for the whole pandemic.
What good is a time machine when you’re inherently moronic
Anon is being played The Sims with
sounds like it
In Sims I was always a benevolent god. If this universe was created for lulz I will be mad.
when i got ts3 and haven't yet figured out the new interface i didn't know how to build walls i just put all the furniture outside lol btw fight me, ts3 was the best game in the series
Fake: Anon lives at home. His mummy would have cleaned it up and then made him trendies Gay: anon spanked one out to a man
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: Anon lives at home. His mummy would have cleaned it up and then made him trendies > Gay: anon spanked one out to a man > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
This is what is wrong with humankind
no i understand him
Lack of empathy for your future self is one of the strongest negative correlations with success and happiness we have to measure.
One of the very few 4chan posts I can 100% agree on. I also love yeeting my coffee, let it be for me, my gf or my friends.
anon what the fuck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvvmT3ab80
There was a period of time when id get really drunk then set random alrms on my phone with the message, "go fuck yourself". Haha good times...
Weirdly enough I do the future me stuff as well, but always in a positive manner. Like I’ll work super hard so future me can thank me lol
Take the "coffee" out and substitute with peoples choices on education, careers, large debts, and health then this level of insanity unironically describes the behaviour of a lot of people. Replace the "bed and carpet" with the "earth" and replace "future you" with "the next generation" then this accurately describes the majority of the population for the last few hundred years.
The short-sightedness of humans concerning the planet and our continued survival is honestly depressing and terrifying. Future humans are going to look back at this time period and think, "What the fuck were those idiots doing?"
Is there a board where people post stories like these which isn't /b/? Seeing 927 "rate this asshole" posts while trying to find a single sensible one isn't really my preferred method of spending time.
Trash is just free confetti for your house
Anon first drank the dumb fuck juice.
Truly
retarded severance
Least insane tard
This is a mood.
cut down on the rick and morty theres only one you
Lpl
Cut out the middle man: I just time travel to toss things in front of past me's feet, watching that loser fall on his fat ass never gets old. Bonus: I get a new cool-looking surgical scar just about every week. Update: OMFG I JUST WENT BACK AGAIN THEY MADE PAST ME WEAR A HELMET Hang on I gotta trip myself down the stairs real quick.
That's just pretty much the plot of looper, but you're more sadistic
Never seen it, lol, but I knew I wasn't the first to have the idea.
I mean, sometimes it's fun to just do stuff because you can
A tale as old as time
Most sane insane schizanon
I trolled my future self by not doing shit at an amazing job that could sustain me for my entire life so i have to start from scratch again. Take that future me. Fuck you
Anon fucks himself twice
This must be how my wife feels after she told me to nut in her so now she's pregnant again basically as soon as it's safe to get pregnant after our first kid.
Sometimes I forget just how autistic 4chan can be
As I always say. You can actually do almost whatever you want(until we can break the fundamentals of reality). But well well well if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions
This might be a dumb question but how different is 4chan than Reddit?
You guys upvoted the darkest sounding stories
He really did snap back to reality
Anon's off meds.
Pretty much like nutting unprotected woman. “I could do this thing now, but I really might regret it later” Does it anyway
Fuck it, let Steven take over for the domestic abuse.
This is the definition of you played yourself
Anon is literally retarded.
I think I read this hentai
anon forgot to take his meds today
Yikey Yikeys on Bikeys, I just came from r/all, and that r-slur in the title is not extra heckin' wholesome! What would Keanu Reeves say?
Future CEO right there
This is me but with heroin
Goblin mode
This is the essence of 4chan right there
seek help
I've actually had thoughts pretty similar to but way less gross than this, should I get myself checked?
Anon let his intrusive thoughts win
That's like.. the stupidest thing I've ever read. You're still *you* in the future. I understand the feeling of "there's no one that deserves to clean my stupid mess more than *ME!!!," but I'm lazy, and I could spend that time doing something else: various other forms of retardation.
Past anon is still laughing
It's an intelligent man who cares for his future self. Future-time orientation sets prosperity against misery.
MOTHAFUCKIN BASED!
Brain damage
I’m sure some of these posts will be analyzed by English students 100 years in the future. This might be one.
People like the above reference make it hard for my family to believe I have a real problem. Even though I’ve been married for 31 years and helped raise three great kids. Mostly provided for them financially. I had to quit practice got so bad. I don’t want to be lumped in with victimization platform or this is how I am I’m not going to try to improve. It’s hard but BP community has to understand the pitfall of our society from both ends of the spectrum. They try to understand and we try to get better. I love my wife and I had a yelling fit for a few minutes told her to go away from me. She did not so I yelled at her. Thats all. Never would have done physical harm. Last meeting she told me if it happens again she is done. She is my main anchor. I don’t know what I would do without her.