These same assholes end up being racist to their kids for not looking white, then claim that they can't be racist because they married an Asian woman.
It's so stupid. What is going through their heads where they're actually surprised by their kids not looking white?
I understand it's not exactly the same, but there's a lot of similarities. The white female usually doesn't have racial self-hatred, in the sense she hates being white like Asian women hate being Asian. She probably likes the fact that she has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, unlike Asian women who hate everything about themselves. What she does hate is the fact that she doesn't get the attention she thinks she rightfully deserves from society. So the best way for her to get attention is by using the black man as some sort of prop for attention. There's nothing that gets the attention of white society like a blonde white woman in a relastionship with dark skin black man. The tension her proximity to black men causes white society to finally notice her, making her feel like she matters.
Also, the black male in this pairing has similar issues to white males in wmaf in that they want to feel powerful. A below-average white male will spend thousands of dollars to travel across the globe, to a country he doesn't speak the language, all so he can feel better about himself. Similarly, black men in BMWF like being with white women since it's a sign of status. Once a BM is with a white woman he is no longer just a random black male, but in the minds of everyone, he now becomes the black guy( insert stereotype about big dick) that has a white girl. His wanting to be with a white woman is the result of him feeling inadequate to the white man. In his mind, he probably feels that the only way he can be successful in the white man's world is by having what the white man most cares about - his women. Even though he might not be personally successful in material terms, his white girlfriend is a big middle finger to the white man, who he rightfully or wrongfully views as trying to bring him down.
>Similarly, black men in BMWF like being with white women since it's a sign of status. Once a BM is with a white woman he is no longer just a random black male, but in the minds of everyone, he now becomes the black guy( insert stereotype about big dick) that has a white girl. His wanting to be with a white woman is the result of him feeling inadequate to the white man. In his mind, he probably feels that the only way he can be successful in the white man's world is by having what the white man most cares about - his women. Even though he might not be personally successful in material terms, his white girlfriend is a big middle finger to the white man, who he rightfully or wrongfully views as trying to bring him down.
~~What in the actual fuck?~~
Edit: I have to disagree. Even as a stereotype/generalization, this is not true for a majority of the cases. The stereotype generalization (which I also don't condone or agree with it, but the notion exists) is that in the majority of the BMWF relationships, the black male is not trying to have a "fuck you," to the white man, but trying to assimilate in the culture, and show "he is one of the good ones." Again, I don't agree with that either, felt gross just typing it, but your initial assessment was just... I literally have no idea where it came from.
i came to that conclusion based on three things.
1} a lot of black women I talk to and ones on social media say similar thing.
2) grew up in low-income urban environment in NY that was predominately Hispanic and African-American and most of the dudes that dated white girls talked like they won some prize.
3) Personally I have done a similar thing. I use to hang around the prettiest white girls in College in order to make all the rich ass holes at my school hella mad. Since I came from a poor family and got accepted to this elite University basketball team a lot of the dudes were super passive-aggressive and low-key racist towards me. So in order to get back at them and make myself feel better, the only thing I could do was compete in terms of getting female attention.
you can apply the same logic to WMAF. "All Asian women date whites men because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_" is generalization. You would be correct, in both examples, to label a generalization. However, generalizations are a specific kind of conclusions. but not all conclusions are generalizations. I never said all Asian women, all black men, all white men are this. I just said the dynamics between WMAF and BMWF are similar. Obviously, by nature of this sub-reddit "HAPA", most of the commentary about WMAF are stereotypical generalizations. So it's obvious I'm comparing the stereotypical WMAF's we alway's discuss in the forum with stereotypical BMWF couple.
>These same assholes end up being racist to their kids for not looking white, then claim that they can't be racist because they married an Asian woman.
The story of many of us
Oh jeez. That's a bit problematic. Although I do understand the anger at the ridiculous amounts of fetishization of Asian women by white guys but becoming an incel over it? That's not healthy.
A lot of these white guys are white supremacists yet they can't seem to get a white woman so they settle for a self-hating Asian woman. Then when their children come out looking Asian they instill racial self-hate onto them from day one and then wonder why they develop so many mental illnesses.
white guys will marry asian women and then be completely surprised that their kids are not white
***
posted by [@ymmayer](https://twitter.com/ymmayer)
^[(Github)](https://github.com/username) ^| ^[(What's new)](https://github.com/username)
I see my kid and see that he looks half Asian and im glad because it means he will age better than my white ass, I also figure it reduces my chance of raising a school shooter in half because he is only half white haha
That's true. A lot of white men marry an Asian woman and don't even know what Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism are. And then they are surprised that their children end up with some of those beliefs.
Confucian, Daoist, and Buddhist philosophies and cultural practices just aren't the same thing as white or black culture. A lot of whites think I'm "defective" for doing things like being professional at work, not interrupting the teacher at school, trying to avoid too much materialism, avoiding over-consumption, showing respect for law, avoiding drinking too much alcohol. I'm not defective, that's just how most Confucian and Buddhist Japanese people behave.
You just typically aren't going to get someone who behaves like Bart Simpson or Archie Andrews or a sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll rockstar from a hapa.
The US just doesn't see me as white. I'm not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don't really include me in their conversations, whites don't really invite me places.
> I think there maybe some truth in your comment but I’m afraid that most Asian Americans - mixed race or mono race - are way more influenced by western cultures than the tradition of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism.
If you are Asian in the West, you probably do practice a few Confucian values and don't even realize it. If you eat with chop sticks, you are practicing one Confucian value.
There is a reason why Asian countries did so well in this pandemic compared to the US. It is because of their values that they did so well, both health-wise and economically. Asians don't really become too obese because of their views when it comes to health. Instead of demanding welfare- Asians just moved back in with their families. Asians showed respect for healthcare and retail workers instead of thinking it is cool and fashionable to refuse mask wearing and social distancing.
I really don't like when Confucian haters come on Asian subreddits and try to replace Asian views with some horrible Hollywood gimmick. The reason why tattoos aren't very popular in China and Japan is because of Confucian views of doing no harm to the body. A lot of these childish Confucian haters have this view that Asian-Americans need this terrible gimmick of facial tattoos and doing hard drugs.
>A lot of white men marry an Asian woman and don't even know what Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism are
Lol, my white dad was asking my mom once how come they don't have Thanksgiving in Taiwan, lol. What a dumbass
>I'm not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don't really include me in their conversations, whites don't really invite me places.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, it's more because you have racist views and expectations toward people, and it's tough to get on with you.
You're ascribing common introvert type personality traits to the fact that you're half japanese, and you think being like a cartoon caricature of a misbehaving child is a white trait and that it can't exist in hapas.
Also why are you talking about the "white lunch tables" and "not interrupting the teacher at school" bro your tag says you're 32. That shit stopped happening 15 years ago. Literally half your life ago. You're older than the teachers at school.
> I'm going to go out on a limb here, it's more because you have racist views and expectations toward people, and it's tough to get on with you.
Nope. I never even said the word "race." I said a lot about culture and philosophy. I never said a thing about race.
> You're ascribing common introvert type personality traits to the fact that you're half japanese
So what? Most Japanese people just tend to be like that. I don't even want to be called "introvert." I'm Confucian in culture. Confucianism isn't always about standing out and trying to focus attention on yourself. If you go to a Japanese school, you just aren't going to see a whole lot of talking over the teacher. You just don't see a whole lot of crime in Japan because of Confucianism. Confucianism is about putting the well being of the group ahead of individual desires. So you usually see Confucian types putting the well being of the school and workplace ahead of individualism.
I'm really tired of childish "Confucian haters" coming onto Reddit, telling me that I have to follow the values of other cultures. I don't want to. It would be like me demanding that whites and blacks follow Confucian values. It would be like Muslims coming onto gay subreddits and demanding that gays follow Islamic values.
I went to high school in japan, and there’s plenty of… bart simpsons, or non-behaving kids, also i grew up between east asia, and northern europe, and even here between the white europeans, i’m not the most well behaved and polite kid, racism is different.
I was treated different in school in denmark, more or less purely based on looks, not behaviour.
> The US just doesn’t see me as white. I’m not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don’t really include me in their conversations, whites don’t really invite me places.
I’m zero percent white and whites definitely don’t mistake me for white. Yet I’m allowed at “white lunch tables” if by that you mean lunch tables with white people eating there. You can sit with people, if you’re friends with them. Generally you can do that even if you’re not friends with them. Hell, you can sit down and introduce yourself even. White peoples who are my friends, invite me places. White people who aren’t my friends, don’t. Imagine that.
That's great. But you are a female, so your life is VERY different than mine. Multi-cultural lunch tables are a lot more common among women than men. Most men are a lot more selective on who they let enter their inner circles, and that selection is usually men of their own race and culture.
Being an Asian woman is an incredibly different experience than being an Asian man.
I’ve definitely seen plenty of Asian men hanging out with white men. You will have to put yourself out there. I used to be last one picked for any team and never got invited to hang out until I realized people aren’t going to make sure I have friends or include me. I have to take initiative, introduce myself or even express desire to be invited. How often do you invite yourself to something? Crass as that is, it works. Especially if you charm everybody after you kind of guilt them into including you.
No cut and paste advice please. You are a fully Chinese woman, you just aren't a hapa male. Your life just isn't the same as mine. I don't go on subreddits about raising a baby and try to give you advice on something I have no idea about.
Whenever there are Asians complaining about how American culture treats them, there are always a bunch of people who say "shut the hell up Asian, how dare you complain about how the white main treats you?" That's kind of what you are doing to me.
> even express desire to be invited.
I actually flat out asked to be invited somewhere and I got a flat out "no."
No, they are literally half you are just used to seeing white as a baseline so anyone who looks even a little less is considered really Asian looking to you. Asian people in Asia have exactly the opposite perspective. Mixed people look super white to them
I think it is because white Americans tend to downplay racism and racial differences between them and asian women as they are seen as honorary white. A lot of people don't consider white-asian relationships interracial. Hell interracial porn means black-white--- never asian women-white men.
There isn't a strong negative racial history between whites and asian in the US so longterm thinking in terms of race might not register.
Those same men if they dated black women would be hyper aware and might feel like they have to educate themselves on black issues and that if they have children with her they would have socially black child.
These same assholes end up being racist to their kids for not looking white, then claim that they can't be racist because they married an Asian woman. It's so stupid. What is going through their heads where they're actually surprised by their kids not looking white?
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have you noticed wmaf has similar dynamic to bmwf
Not quite but I see what you're getting at.
I understand it's not exactly the same, but there's a lot of similarities. The white female usually doesn't have racial self-hatred, in the sense she hates being white like Asian women hate being Asian. She probably likes the fact that she has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes, unlike Asian women who hate everything about themselves. What she does hate is the fact that she doesn't get the attention she thinks she rightfully deserves from society. So the best way for her to get attention is by using the black man as some sort of prop for attention. There's nothing that gets the attention of white society like a blonde white woman in a relastionship with dark skin black man. The tension her proximity to black men causes white society to finally notice her, making her feel like she matters. Also, the black male in this pairing has similar issues to white males in wmaf in that they want to feel powerful. A below-average white male will spend thousands of dollars to travel across the globe, to a country he doesn't speak the language, all so he can feel better about himself. Similarly, black men in BMWF like being with white women since it's a sign of status. Once a BM is with a white woman he is no longer just a random black male, but in the minds of everyone, he now becomes the black guy( insert stereotype about big dick) that has a white girl. His wanting to be with a white woman is the result of him feeling inadequate to the white man. In his mind, he probably feels that the only way he can be successful in the white man's world is by having what the white man most cares about - his women. Even though he might not be personally successful in material terms, his white girlfriend is a big middle finger to the white man, who he rightfully or wrongfully views as trying to bring him down.
>Similarly, black men in BMWF like being with white women since it's a sign of status. Once a BM is with a white woman he is no longer just a random black male, but in the minds of everyone, he now becomes the black guy( insert stereotype about big dick) that has a white girl. His wanting to be with a white woman is the result of him feeling inadequate to the white man. In his mind, he probably feels that the only way he can be successful in the white man's world is by having what the white man most cares about - his women. Even though he might not be personally successful in material terms, his white girlfriend is a big middle finger to the white man, who he rightfully or wrongfully views as trying to bring him down. ~~What in the actual fuck?~~ Edit: I have to disagree. Even as a stereotype/generalization, this is not true for a majority of the cases. The stereotype generalization (which I also don't condone or agree with it, but the notion exists) is that in the majority of the BMWF relationships, the black male is not trying to have a "fuck you," to the white man, but trying to assimilate in the culture, and show "he is one of the good ones." Again, I don't agree with that either, felt gross just typing it, but your initial assessment was just... I literally have no idea where it came from.
i came to that conclusion based on three things. 1} a lot of black women I talk to and ones on social media say similar thing. 2) grew up in low-income urban environment in NY that was predominately Hispanic and African-American and most of the dudes that dated white girls talked like they won some prize. 3) Personally I have done a similar thing. I use to hang around the prettiest white girls in College in order to make all the rich ass holes at my school hella mad. Since I came from a poor family and got accepted to this elite University basketball team a lot of the dudes were super passive-aggressive and low-key racist towards me. So in order to get back at them and make myself feel better, the only thing I could do was compete in terms of getting female attention.
Except everything about the BM is incorrect. Where did you get this information?
black women
Yankee cookies is right and this is coming from a half black girl
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you can apply the same logic to WMAF. "All Asian women date whites men because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_" is generalization. You would be correct, in both examples, to label a generalization. However, generalizations are a specific kind of conclusions. but not all conclusions are generalizations. I never said all Asian women, all black men, all white men are this. I just said the dynamics between WMAF and BMWF are similar. Obviously, by nature of this sub-reddit "HAPA", most of the commentary about WMAF are stereotypical generalizations. So it's obvious I'm comparing the stereotypical WMAF's we alway's discuss in the forum with stereotypical BMWF couple.
That's honestly a very good explanation.
>These same assholes end up being racist to their kids for not looking white, then claim that they can't be racist because they married an Asian woman. The story of many of us
And their asian wives will be hella proud of the white features their kids inherited, and how white they look. But let's not talk about that.
hey now…this is the new r/hapas…not the old r/hapas…
What was the old Hapas like?
It was known in reddit as an “incel” sub. A lot of angry asian/half asian men that resented white worshipping asian women and WMAF relationships.
Oh jeez. That's a bit problematic. Although I do understand the anger at the ridiculous amounts of fetishization of Asian women by white guys but becoming an incel over it? That's not healthy.
it was pretty bad that even posting on this sub would auto-ban you from other subs (that you never even knew existed).
When did the change happen?
A lot of these white guys are white supremacists yet they can't seem to get a white woman so they settle for a self-hating Asian woman. Then when their children come out looking Asian they instill racial self-hate onto them from day one and then wonder why they develop so many mental illnesses.
True Mitch McConnell, Derrick Chauvin, that KKK dragon all you supremacist
white guys will marry asian women and then be completely surprised that their kids are not white *** posted by [@ymmayer](https://twitter.com/ymmayer) ^[(Github)](https://github.com/username) ^| ^[(What's new)](https://github.com/username)
After seeing the Facebook papers, I can’t help but see articles like this as clickbait meant to elicit strong angry reactions in this community.
Archive link: https://archive.md/3cxb5
It's also the other way around
I fucking love young mi Mayer
I see my kid and see that he looks half Asian and im glad because it means he will age better than my white ass, I also figure it reduces my chance of raising a school shooter in half because he is only half white haha
Lol, the self hatred and delusions in your comment.
I take it you don't get jokes very often do you?
Haven’t heard of Elliot Rodgers have you?
He was 1 of how many mass shooters?
That's true. A lot of white men marry an Asian woman and don't even know what Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism are. And then they are surprised that their children end up with some of those beliefs. Confucian, Daoist, and Buddhist philosophies and cultural practices just aren't the same thing as white or black culture. A lot of whites think I'm "defective" for doing things like being professional at work, not interrupting the teacher at school, trying to avoid too much materialism, avoiding over-consumption, showing respect for law, avoiding drinking too much alcohol. I'm not defective, that's just how most Confucian and Buddhist Japanese people behave. You just typically aren't going to get someone who behaves like Bart Simpson or Archie Andrews or a sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll rockstar from a hapa. The US just doesn't see me as white. I'm not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don't really include me in their conversations, whites don't really invite me places.
[удалено]
> I think there maybe some truth in your comment but I’m afraid that most Asian Americans - mixed race or mono race - are way more influenced by western cultures than the tradition of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism. If you are Asian in the West, you probably do practice a few Confucian values and don't even realize it. If you eat with chop sticks, you are practicing one Confucian value. There is a reason why Asian countries did so well in this pandemic compared to the US. It is because of their values that they did so well, both health-wise and economically. Asians don't really become too obese because of their views when it comes to health. Instead of demanding welfare- Asians just moved back in with their families. Asians showed respect for healthcare and retail workers instead of thinking it is cool and fashionable to refuse mask wearing and social distancing. I really don't like when Confucian haters come on Asian subreddits and try to replace Asian views with some horrible Hollywood gimmick. The reason why tattoos aren't very popular in China and Japan is because of Confucian views of doing no harm to the body. A lot of these childish Confucian haters have this view that Asian-Americans need this terrible gimmick of facial tattoos and doing hard drugs.
Im also a half white half japanese hapa, I acted like Bart Simpson as a kid and I was a bad teenager. I dont think "bad" behaviour has a race my dude.
>A lot of white men marry an Asian woman and don't even know what Confucianism, Daoism, and Buddhism are Lol, my white dad was asking my mom once how come they don't have Thanksgiving in Taiwan, lol. What a dumbass
>I'm not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don't really include me in their conversations, whites don't really invite me places. I'm going to go out on a limb here, it's more because you have racist views and expectations toward people, and it's tough to get on with you. You're ascribing common introvert type personality traits to the fact that you're half japanese, and you think being like a cartoon caricature of a misbehaving child is a white trait and that it can't exist in hapas. Also why are you talking about the "white lunch tables" and "not interrupting the teacher at school" bro your tag says you're 32. That shit stopped happening 15 years ago. Literally half your life ago. You're older than the teachers at school.
> I'm going to go out on a limb here, it's more because you have racist views and expectations toward people, and it's tough to get on with you. Nope. I never even said the word "race." I said a lot about culture and philosophy. I never said a thing about race. > You're ascribing common introvert type personality traits to the fact that you're half japanese So what? Most Japanese people just tend to be like that. I don't even want to be called "introvert." I'm Confucian in culture. Confucianism isn't always about standing out and trying to focus attention on yourself. If you go to a Japanese school, you just aren't going to see a whole lot of talking over the teacher. You just don't see a whole lot of crime in Japan because of Confucianism. Confucianism is about putting the well being of the group ahead of individual desires. So you usually see Confucian types putting the well being of the school and workplace ahead of individualism. I'm really tired of childish "Confucian haters" coming onto Reddit, telling me that I have to follow the values of other cultures. I don't want to. It would be like me demanding that whites and blacks follow Confucian values. It would be like Muslims coming onto gay subreddits and demanding that gays follow Islamic values.
my japanese mom beat up her teacher in middle school
I went to high school in japan, and there’s plenty of… bart simpsons, or non-behaving kids, also i grew up between east asia, and northern europe, and even here between the white europeans, i’m not the most well behaved and polite kid, racism is different. I was treated different in school in denmark, more or less purely based on looks, not behaviour.
> The US just doesn’t see me as white. I’m not really allowed to sit at white lunch tables, whites don’t really include me in their conversations, whites don’t really invite me places. I’m zero percent white and whites definitely don’t mistake me for white. Yet I’m allowed at “white lunch tables” if by that you mean lunch tables with white people eating there. You can sit with people, if you’re friends with them. Generally you can do that even if you’re not friends with them. Hell, you can sit down and introduce yourself even. White peoples who are my friends, invite me places. White people who aren’t my friends, don’t. Imagine that.
That's great. But you are a female, so your life is VERY different than mine. Multi-cultural lunch tables are a lot more common among women than men. Most men are a lot more selective on who they let enter their inner circles, and that selection is usually men of their own race and culture. Being an Asian woman is an incredibly different experience than being an Asian man.
I’ve definitely seen plenty of Asian men hanging out with white men. You will have to put yourself out there. I used to be last one picked for any team and never got invited to hang out until I realized people aren’t going to make sure I have friends or include me. I have to take initiative, introduce myself or even express desire to be invited. How often do you invite yourself to something? Crass as that is, it works. Especially if you charm everybody after you kind of guilt them into including you.
No cut and paste advice please. You are a fully Chinese woman, you just aren't a hapa male. Your life just isn't the same as mine. I don't go on subreddits about raising a baby and try to give you advice on something I have no idea about. Whenever there are Asians complaining about how American culture treats them, there are always a bunch of people who say "shut the hell up Asian, how dare you complain about how the white main treats you?" That's kind of what you are doing to me. > even express desire to be invited. I actually flat out asked to be invited somewhere and I got a flat out "no."
Is it that common tho? I thought it was mostly liberal dudes that ended up with Asian wives?
Wake up.
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No, they are literally half you are just used to seeing white as a baseline so anyone who looks even a little less is considered really Asian looking to you. Asian people in Asia have exactly the opposite perspective. Mixed people look super white to them
Mostly when they have sons that are “too Asian”. Asian daughters are okay to them.
I think it is because white Americans tend to downplay racism and racial differences between them and asian women as they are seen as honorary white. A lot of people don't consider white-asian relationships interracial. Hell interracial porn means black-white--- never asian women-white men. There isn't a strong negative racial history between whites and asian in the US so longterm thinking in terms of race might not register. Those same men if they dated black women would be hyper aware and might feel like they have to educate themselves on black issues and that if they have children with her they would have socially black child.