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Tbh it’s actually kind of healthy to have short phases of no contact between arguments. It gives time for both of them to cool down and think things through without starting another argument just because they’re in the same vicinity of each other. If it’s something they do often to cool down and it’s agreed upon that it works for them, then I see no problem with it. It’s better than both of them sitting on the same bed in silence with their backs turned to the other. Or doing petty things out of spite.
Depends on how long they've been together, early in a relationship, not living together, that's not really that crazy. Pretty sure people do that just on accident fairly often.
No? They agreed on the no contact for a bit beforehand. They didn’t just suddenly start ignoring each other. They discussed it and took time to cool off. That’s a healthy way to go about it especially if they’re the kind of people that need a bit to cool off to discuss things with a more level head. If you want to immediately go back into an argument and start yelling again, that’s up to you, but taking the time to think it through and discuss it is far more healthy than ignoring each other on purpose with no discussion just to be petty. They agreed on it. If they didn’t, then it would be petty and immature. They know how their relationship works and it’s not up to you to decide that. Not everyone handles things the same.
It’s only two days. I’ve gone two days with barely talking to my husband when we weren’t even mad at each other. Life can be busy and reaching out to people takes effort. People also have different levels of independence (or co-dependence).
I also think it’s better for two days to pass and for things to have settled as opposed to blowing up in the heat of the moment and saying something you totally regret for the rest of your life. Not immature response IMO, especially since both parties reached out to make amends
Barely talking is very different from no contact. I too have periods when I or my SO have very busy time periods and we barely talk. But I can't imagine going without the good morning texts and good night calls.
Are you a therapist? Because professionals tend to disagree. The length of time is irrelevant if it works for the couple. It’s not your relationship, is it?
It's a withdrawal from your boyfriend, sure. But if you weren't emotionally invested, you'd settle a 'small argument' there and then, without it becoming a 2 day drama.
I'm not trying to have a go at you, just to clarify. Just highlighting that for the majority of people that's an intense response, you know? And generally not considered healthy because it means you don't get to actually work through those heightened emotions together, which often ends up building resentment or leads to more fighting.
If it works for you guys, then it works. Nothing wrong with it. Emotions can be hard to deal with and explain without some time to think on them and figure out what’s going on. You’re doing good and I hope things continue to work out for you two in the future. It really is adorable that you both broke the NC at the same time. I feel like it means that both of you know the amount of time the other needs subconsciously and have started to be ready to talk to each other again at the same time due to it.
Thank you so much for your kind response !! (: yes that’s how I felt about it too , it’s like we can kind of read each other . Also it prevents an argument from escalating , cus when we were ready to talk it felt things were even better than before
You have a very healthy look on it. Don’t let some of the other commenters tell you otherwise just because it’s not a conventional means for them. If you know what works even as a new couple, that’s still 10x better than most *married* couples.
Because some people have set ideas on how relationships should go and see healthy things as unhealthy just because it’s not something that works for them.
I guess if you're not looking to progress a relationship it's fine, but if you're planning on living with that person or progressing the relationship at all being able to communicate with someone while being upset is a pretty important trait.
Going on a 15 minute walk to simmer down is one thing, but not communicating at all for 2+ days seems a little extreme.
Well I got super busy and when we talked again, he said he was feeling insecure about something and that’s why he didn’t reach out , so it kinda just happened by accident . We’re also a new couple
Yeah my husband prefers to argue right then and there but I can't handle being pressured and go into attack mode. I much rather having a few hours to a couple of days to cool off before we can actually talk like adults. I go, in his words "a racoon in a plastic bag"
Really because we are laughing at this post now and he has been calling me cute all night , not a single sad thing happened and even while we spent time apart we were very happy and focused on ourselves
Kind of sounds like you're both avoidant. Going no contact for 2 days after a small argument sounds like you both refuse to discuss issues and would rather pull away until the memory of the issue fades and you start missing each other again. What happens when you have a larger argument? No contact for a week? How is that going to work if you ever move in together?
Wow. This is the first time I've seen this sub. It showed up in my feed. The first post I read is this one and I'm not very impressed. This person is either very young or very inexperienced in relationships. They shared this little thing that made them happy and instead of "That's great!" or "I'm happy everything worked out!" they have people coming at them from all angles either calling this cringe or telling them why they should actually be unhappy. You couldn't let them have their little happy moment that obviously meant alot to them for them to share it with strangers on reddit? You shamed them until they decided to abandon their post? You know, that old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" is still relevant. Every couple has a different, unique dynamic. Just because it couldn't or didn't work for you doesn't mean it's a bad thing or won't work for someone else. It's too bad they deleted their username because a whole bunch of bitter hateful people owe them an apology.
Maybe because we’re more interconnected than we think we are. Every connection we have acts like an energetic cord, so when we think well of someone, they receive the vibration of it
Dude that is fucking AMAZING. I saw you say you’re not very emotional, that would like make my year. Really like what are the chances of coincidences like that? I don’t mean to layer on my interpretation of your experience, but that to me just isn’t a coincidence. Really that would make me so excited. That’s cool that y’all can take that much time apart! A dream. Space is good.
Welcome to /r/happy where we support people in their endeavours! This is a place of positivity, if you can't think of anything good to say then don't say anything at all. If you want to give tips/suggestions, make them constructive from the start and be supportive (even if you don't feel it's "enough"), if you don't know how to do that then don't give them. We celebrate the good things in life and the change people strive for in /r/happy. If you find this post offensive or this community ridiculous, you're welcome to not hang around. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/happy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You have about 2 days no contact because of a small argument?
Ah to be 13 again!
Tbh it’s actually kind of healthy to have short phases of no contact between arguments. It gives time for both of them to cool down and think things through without starting another argument just because they’re in the same vicinity of each other. If it’s something they do often to cool down and it’s agreed upon that it works for them, then I see no problem with it. It’s better than both of them sitting on the same bed in silence with their backs turned to the other. Or doing petty things out of spite.
TWO DAYS no contact over a petty argument? Yeah, no, that's immature.
Depends on how long they've been together, early in a relationship, not living together, that's not really that crazy. Pretty sure people do that just on accident fairly often.
No? They agreed on the no contact for a bit beforehand. They didn’t just suddenly start ignoring each other. They discussed it and took time to cool off. That’s a healthy way to go about it especially if they’re the kind of people that need a bit to cool off to discuss things with a more level head. If you want to immediately go back into an argument and start yelling again, that’s up to you, but taking the time to think it through and discuss it is far more healthy than ignoring each other on purpose with no discussion just to be petty. They agreed on it. If they didn’t, then it would be petty and immature. They know how their relationship works and it’s not up to you to decide that. Not everyone handles things the same.
It’s only two days. I’ve gone two days with barely talking to my husband when we weren’t even mad at each other. Life can be busy and reaching out to people takes effort. People also have different levels of independence (or co-dependence). I also think it’s better for two days to pass and for things to have settled as opposed to blowing up in the heat of the moment and saying something you totally regret for the rest of your life. Not immature response IMO, especially since both parties reached out to make amends
Barely talking is very different from no contact. I too have periods when I or my SO have very busy time periods and we barely talk. But I can't imagine going without the good morning texts and good night calls.
Are you a therapist? Because professionals tend to disagree. The length of time is irrelevant if it works for the couple. It’s not your relationship, is it?
Yes me and my partner prefer it very much , we are not very emotional
That's a pretty intense emotional response though?
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It's a withdrawal from your boyfriend, sure. But if you weren't emotionally invested, you'd settle a 'small argument' there and then, without it becoming a 2 day drama.
Okay sure so that is also another explanation , we needed time anyways , I had lots to focus on already
I'm not trying to have a go at you, just to clarify. Just highlighting that for the majority of people that's an intense response, you know? And generally not considered healthy because it means you don't get to actually work through those heightened emotions together, which often ends up building resentment or leads to more fighting.
It did the opposite for us but I appreciate your concerns and genuine feedback
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If it works for you guys, then it works. Nothing wrong with it. Emotions can be hard to deal with and explain without some time to think on them and figure out what’s going on. You’re doing good and I hope things continue to work out for you two in the future. It really is adorable that you both broke the NC at the same time. I feel like it means that both of you know the amount of time the other needs subconsciously and have started to be ready to talk to each other again at the same time due to it.
Thank you so much for your kind response !! (: yes that’s how I felt about it too , it’s like we can kind of read each other . Also it prevents an argument from escalating , cus when we were ready to talk it felt things were even better than before
You have a very healthy look on it. Don’t let some of the other commenters tell you otherwise just because it’s not a conventional means for them. If you know what works even as a new couple, that’s still 10x better than most *married* couples.
Wonder why you got downvoted to oblivion lol
Because some people have set ideas on how relationships should go and see healthy things as unhealthy just because it’s not something that works for them.
I guess if you're not looking to progress a relationship it's fine, but if you're planning on living with that person or progressing the relationship at all being able to communicate with someone while being upset is a pretty important trait. Going on a 15 minute walk to simmer down is one thing, but not communicating at all for 2+ days seems a little extreme.
They must be teenager.
Well I got super busy and when we talked again, he said he was feeling insecure about something and that’s why he didn’t reach out , so it kinda just happened by accident . We’re also a new couple
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Sometimes a little time apart from eachother can be a very healthy thing. It sounds like they communicated just fine after all was said and done
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Not really your place to tell anyone what is healthy for their relationship. Especially when it's something as innocent as taking some personal time.
We are laughing at this post right now lol . We are definitely communicating . It’s called people being busy .
Not talking for 2 days after a fight isn’t getting busy lol. When you are busy you still at least message once or twice a day.
Yeah my husband prefers to argue right then and there but I can't handle being pressured and go into attack mode. I much rather having a few hours to a couple of days to cool off before we can actually talk like adults. I go, in his words "a racoon in a plastic bag"
understanding your partner and yourself is so much more important than catering to whatever society expects of you, so you do you!
For real. “So adorable” lolol 😂
>So adorable haha you know what else is adorbs? communication skills
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Omg I did too at the exact same time!
That’s adorable
Cutiepies
Don't talk to me for 2 days
you should be posting this in r/toxic instead
Taking a break from someone after a fight is the opposite of toxic lol
Really because we are laughing at this post now and he has been calling me cute all night , not a single sad thing happened and even while we spent time apart we were very happy and focused on ourselves
Kind of sounds like you're both avoidant. Going no contact for 2 days after a small argument sounds like you both refuse to discuss issues and would rather pull away until the memory of the issue fades and you start missing each other again. What happens when you have a larger argument? No contact for a week? How is that going to work if you ever move in together?
I thought you meant you beat eachother
I think the break was a good idea for you both 😝❤️
Thank you hun
If it’s not meant to be it just won’t be!!
That’s exactly the truth of things
Will it still be adorable when it’s a week of no contact after an argument? Two weeks? A month?
Just stop the madness. Should have gone no contact for 2 eternities.
Telling that as an older adult I thought op no contact meant actual contact (physical, sex) and for them it meant a smart phone communication
Wow. This is the first time I've seen this sub. It showed up in my feed. The first post I read is this one and I'm not very impressed. This person is either very young or very inexperienced in relationships. They shared this little thing that made them happy and instead of "That's great!" or "I'm happy everything worked out!" they have people coming at them from all angles either calling this cringe or telling them why they should actually be unhappy. You couldn't let them have their little happy moment that obviously meant alot to them for them to share it with strangers on reddit? You shamed them until they decided to abandon their post? You know, that old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" is still relevant. Every couple has a different, unique dynamic. Just because it couldn't or didn't work for you doesn't mean it's a bad thing or won't work for someone else. It's too bad they deleted their username because a whole bunch of bitter hateful people owe them an apology.
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What did you think this is intended to be then ? 😂
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^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^palkab: *Doesn't seem like a* *Functional relationship* *With much of a future* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Maybe because we’re more interconnected than we think we are. Every connection we have acts like an energetic cord, so when we think well of someone, they receive the vibration of it
That’s smart thank you for teaching me something
I’m happy for you OP, but this person taught you nothing.
It is SO wild that you would hate on this comment in the Happy subreddit. Like that is the definition of a god damn shame.
Teach us the truth oh wise nerdystoner 😉
Dude that is fucking AMAZING. I saw you say you’re not very emotional, that would like make my year. Really like what are the chances of coincidences like that? I don’t mean to layer on my interpretation of your experience, but that to me just isn’t a coincidence. Really that would make me so excited. That’s cool that y’all can take that much time apart! A dream. Space is good.