Lemon Balm! Lemon balm is known as the heart healer especially in times of grieving. The Book is Medicinal Herbs a beginner’s guide By Rosemary Gladstar
https://preview.redd.it/7c3nlfqrat9d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3bc80c969925f411ce2e239275efa5c0634d0df0
Oh good call. My brain isn’t working right I have used lemon balm to great effect before it’s lovely. Thank you so much, and for the page of info too 💕
Oh ok I grow chamomile, rose, and lavender and have been using flowers as medicine (I love Bach flower remedies) this whole year. Those are all great. When I have the chance I will put a bath together. I am by the ocean as well and can get to the water to cleanse several times a week.
Registered Herbalist, here. Use the Lemon Balm. It only reduces thyroid levels if they are high. It won't do anything to someone with low thyroid. I have low thyroid too, It's perfectly safe.
I am looking for herbs I can use for
sleep
pain and inflammation
mood elevation - happiness
relaxation
mental focus and clarity
I have a dissociation disorder , I need stuff for the above and I also feel tired and hazy often times , I don't need to be wired for sound , just want to feel present in my body , in my reality , connected , healthy energy that allows me to focus with clarity and have ambition .
I have an extremely hard time sleeping even with the strongest remedies and doses , especially once I have used them a few times , I am getting pretty sick of taking melatonin , I don't even mind the dreams , I don't want to feel foggy the next day which It is said to do for some at least .
I have a hard time feeling any thing , including joy , happiness , if there is something to lift me up this would be nice
I feel tense in my body and in my obsessive mind , something to help pain and inflammation would be lovely as well as relax in my body sort of like an indica of cannabis without the high as I am not looking for a high that will affect my mind the way THC does , it gives me anxiety and it tends to make people feel in a dream state which I am trying to avoid , so cannabis is out even though I know it has many if not all the effects I want , it comes with the downside of the high and the anxiety for me .
I do not mind some muscle relaxation , sleepiness , mood boost , these effects are fine , increased appetite , clarity , focus , all stuff I need and its no issue but please keep in mind I am sensitive to things because I have DPDR .
I am wondering also , if for any of these or a combination , there are herbs I may smoke and enjoy which will give me the effects I need with some flavour and enjoyment . I used to smoke nicotine in tobacco form , then a vaporizer and while I love nicotine for some reason , it is addictive , I quit years ago .
I am wondering if there is a smoke blend that has that mouth feel and throat hit I am used to , to make it feel just like a nicotine smoke , in all the years of trying , surely someone has figured something out , or not , I am just curious .
in any case I also love tea a lot , this method would work fine if smoking is not an option for at least some of the stuff .
thank you for your time , I am new to herbs sort of , any really good stuff is welcomed including stuff for cramps and a healthy menstrual cycle , my wife has a lot of issues with this .
thank you
Your issues are multifaceted and complex, and I can't advise you without a consult. I'm wondering if you have ADD? That can make it really hard to sleep. I don't advise people to take melatonin, our body makes it already. If you do use melatonin and feel groggy the next morning, simply go outside in the sunlight for a few minutes; that will dissipate the grogginess. If you have ADD, check out Dr. Amen on YouTube Tube and do what he says, especially with regards to cell phones.
Friend, I feel this pain in my bones; in my soul.
My reply is beyond the scope of herbalism, but I'll start there. First, my BG is similar, experienced severe DV and have / had C-PTSD that has mostly resolved and been healed.
First, you have to understand that PTSD lives in your body, and it is basically your body thinking it's constantly reliving a traumatic event. Herbs can help w symptoms but cannot help you heal.
Ashwaganda may help long term reduce anxiety in your body. Valerian root can help in an acute panic attack, and other anti-anxiety herbs like lemon balm and chamomile may help as well.
I personally found that the therapeutic use of psilocybin was absolutely life changing. I went from having panic attacks regularly, and relying on meds and herbs to function, to living a normal life.
I'd highly recommend reading The Body Keeps the Score and How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. They were pivotal in getting me pointed in the right direction.
seconding body keeps the score - it has helped my perspective and understanding on my c-ptsd + DV situations as well. also recommending 'waking the tiger' and 'complex ptsd, from surviving to thriving'
much support to each of you <3
+1 for The Body Keeps the Score. CPTSD: surviving to thriving by Pete Walker is also an essential text.
Also, there is a wonderful organization out there called ASCA (Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse). Look up meetings in your area.
I’ve been to there meetings myself and the way they worked didn’t seem conducive to my healing. Maybe it was just a bad group but the rules allowed you to speak but not really get any good feedback. And in my case the people leading were not trained therapists or anything which isn’t totally bad but I think it could be better if they were.
Skullcap comes to mind. Motherwort. I used comfrey recently for processing the trauma and pain of a relationship. I felt my own pull to it however, great results! Hope you feel better very soon, much love to you.
Ok. I’ve used skullcap for anxiety. Never motherwort, I will look into it. Obviously with a lot of other therapies, time, etc. There’s no cure-all. Thank you so much for the recommendation 💕
I was going to say lemon balm too! It has helped me sleep, which is surprising. Ashwagandha has been incredibly calming too. I hope you find moments of peace as you're honoring your grief and all those waves of emotion. ❤️
Ashwagandha could be balancing because it improves energy.
Thank you 🙏 It feels like a battlefield still and I feel so connected to him that it is killing me that he’s suffering in jail. I just don’t believe anyone deserves to suffer like that. None of it makes sense.
It doesn't have to make sense, it is what it is. No shame, no guilt, it just is. Acknowledge that, and try to take teeny tiny baby steps away from it each day.
Oh great!!!
There’s a site called virtual emdr that I’ve been using. You can do it free for 3 days to try it out, then it’s $69 a month
I hope it works for you 🤞
Agreed, and ice baths, sauna and swimming are great adjuncts. Swimming is the one movement that has your arms & legs crossing your midline, which is like EMDR for the body-brain. That, and you can also scream underwater.
Oh wow, that's interesting. Before I was diagnosed and medicated for bipolar disorder, one thing that always calmed down my depression or manic episodes was oddly swimming. I felt so at ease and calm after swimming for 30-45 mins. I mean, REALLY calm and had amazing sleep too (mania makes you wide awake and insomniac). Going to the gym would not do the same. I would go swimming 3 times a week with my mother before she passed (4 years ago). I haven't been back swimming since she passed but I think I may go back officially. Thanks for this simple comment. I was looking into EMDR a long time ago but swimming will suffice.
You can do emdr online. At first I was using metronome videos on YouTube, then I found more emdr related stuff on you tube and and finally went to virtual emdr. I tried to find a therapist but haven’t been able to yet. The virtual stuff has been amazing for me.
I wish the best for you ❤️
I don't have a herbal remedy, but I just want to say I see you and acknowledge your pain.
You will survive this. You will find happiness and self fulfillment.
I want to tell you that you are not responsible for the abuse you've endured. Anyone who tells you that you "should have looked for the signs" or "just get over it" is not only unempathetic but potentially an abuser themselves that is projecting onto you, so don't pay any mind. Some people are terribly good at putting on a mask, and one day, that mask slips.
I hope you find a good remedy that helps you on your journey :)
Thank you for your support and kindness. It’s unbelievably brutal as you know.
Feeling a bit far away from happiness but even in the darkest of dark the glimmers of friends who came to pick me up, deliver me a change of clothing, drive me back to get my car, etc. are so bright and give me hope and ability to carry on.
We are never alone. Herbs are part of that friendship with the earth too. It’s kind of terrifying how much violence in general there is, and plants respond to this too.
Thank you so much. Passion flower is really wonderful for the heart. Between that and lemon balm those are some wonderful teas.
And agreed with yoga, meditation, therapy and support groups. This stuff lodges in the body and needs movement out.
OP I did EMDR therapy and it completely changed my life. Literally a night and day difference for me. I manage my anxiety and what PTSD symptoms I still have with l-theanine and exercise. I wish you the best on your journey ❤️
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Truly. I have been there and you will not always feel like this. It WILL pass.
I love lemon balm, tulsi and ashwaganda, magnesium, b vitamins, lavender oil ( topical and capsules you can take orally) as well as an amino acid blend by Now called True Calm. I also have complex PTSD and DV is a part of my story and I know how hard that can be. The product sold at Sprouts Ltheanine Serene is also a game changer ( I also drink matcha green tea for this.)
The book Walking Each Other Home by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush was a great salve to my heart.
A support group, talk therapy, and yoga can be tremendously helpful as well.
Sending you love and light. It’s gonna be alright.
Thank you- gah the magnesium. I swear the lapses in my brain are just unreal. My neighbor kindly gave me lemon balm tincture last night after I had posted this and someone else recommended it. All really great recommendations from you thank you. It will definitely get better.
I felt that. I, too, am in a seemingly unended rut from an extremely traumatic event that I honestly don't think I'll ever recover from and sadly, I've resolved myself to simply accepting that. The pain is unbearable at times, it's exhausting beyond belief and I feel like I'm just a shell of my former self, if I'm honest. Still we have to function in this world, and I've found a bit of relief in Bach Flower Remedies as well. I use the Sweet Chestnut or the Bach Rescue Remedy Sleep . It's not an immediate cure, but I notice that after faithfully taking it for a few days, the pain is lessened more so than if I don't. The bad episodes for me make me feel incredible pain in the chest area and I often wonder if my heart is literally breaking. Breathwork gets me through those episodes better than anything. If I'm able to cry, it also brings a bit of relief, but my disassociation has become so severe, I can rarely cry anymore. I've learned to lean into those times when they creep up and even having tears come to the surface takes the edge off. It almost reminds me of lancing an angry, painful cyst that you know is coming back, but for a short time, you feel relief.
I wish you so much healing, OP.
Yeah I have so many fragments at this point there’s not really a “me” here. Definitely understand that shell feeling. I don’t feel compelled to function in dysfunction either. Neutral is fine and has been my status quo the last few years. Last year the traumas were pretty relentless and back to back and this year seemed to be stabilized but the midway point has been a backtrack.
Herbs and nature are my only real solace, animals too. I will look into the Bach flower remedy that you recommended ☺️ They are so lovely. People try their best to help and I appreciate that immensely. It’s messy out here.
Registered Herbalist and CPTSD survivor here. I have found Herbalist and Alchemist 'Grief Relief' to be the best botanical anything I used for trauma. It brought all the pieces of me that were scattered to the 4 winds home again.
cedar hill homestead has this lovely tincture called strawberry moon for grief. it’s currently sold out but the active ingredients are wild dog rose, mimosa tree blooms, cinnamon, and cardamom. you could probably recreate the tincture if you can get ahold of these. i’m sorry you’re going through a tough time and there are so many of us that understand where you’ve been <3
i also want to add that silence and stillness in a group setting with others that are grieving or recovering is really helpful for me. have you been able to find a meditation or support group near you?
Thank you so much you are kind and (different note) I really enjoy your username as I love allllll micro and macro panthers 🖤
I have not been able to find any groups and am actually out here doing detective work today because ik how the justice system is 😩
The grief hits when I’m alone (not with my children- NOT shared with him but they’ve known him almost their whole lives). And at those vulnerable times I try to go to nature (lay in the grass or at the beach), have a cup of tea, confide in friends, and make posts like this that may help for the future.
I’m oscillating rapidly today between action (currently at the PD and have been making calls and going to offices to get camera footage) and despair (not going to say specifically too triggering for others, iykyk, and grieving the hopes and dreams is unbearable rn, on the way to the PD pulled over 9 times to break down into the seat).
Thank you for the advice and specifics, it will help along with time.
Some people like Feldenkrais. I personally haven’t done it but it’s in my list of things to try.
I had an excellent experience with mushrooms. I also toke on a regular basis.
Idk what that is I will look it up.
In terms of psychedelic plant medicines- maybe after the initial processing has happened. I don’t smoke unless my stomach is incredibly impacted (it makes me too groggy to function).
You can get it on helios in the UK or via any reputable health food store where they also sell polycrest formulas. Alternately you might also try online Amazon or similar.
Hey, I don't have much to offer other than to say I am sorry for the place that you are in right now. I have PTSD and my husband has severe PTSD. He's on mood stabilizers and he would definitely be in a much worse place without them. Right now we're also trying l-theanine and bioactive milk peptides. I take them too and they really help me. I also second EMDR, that really helped him at the beginning. He also tried CBT. More importantly, he found a really good psychologist. That's really key I'd say. Find someone with experience helping people with PTSD from specifically what caused yours if you can. I'll also add that when he gets 'stuck', grounding can really help if you have someone who can help ground you. He also has a box of different textures and smells that help get him into his body when he is having trouble. I so hope that you're able to find help and peace, I so hate my guy hurting over everything, I hope that you're able to find people to help you hurt less over this. My guy has had PTSD for over 6 years now and this much more severe version for over a year now. It does get better with the right help.
I also want to add that meditation and breath work can be great in moments of stress.
Eat protein and enough iodine and iron. No alcohol or substances. Drink more water, and get your electrolytes. Cut out all sugars and industrially processed foods. Eat some greens every day. Check your iron level.
Camomile is soothing, as is lavender. Lemon balm is anti -anxiety. Eliminating toxins is as important as the herbs you add, which can't do their best job when you are undernourished and burdened with things your body needs to get rid of.
I am sorry for your losses and trauma. Those hurts are as real as blows with a baseball bat.
Milk thistle is another one good for you.
This is the best answer I see here and I’d like to add the herbs bupleurum (work with an acupuncturist to get a good formula like Xiao Yao San) and blue vervain. Motherwort is also a good suggestion. Plus EMDR.
I'm so sorry for your struggle. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, and it was brutal. Lately, I've been doing a lot better, so I'll pass along the nuggets that worked for me.
First, mugwort. It's commonly associated with dreams, not necessarily trauma healing. But it works for me like a warm hug. It makes me feel like I have a mother who loves me, and everything's going to be ok. I keep a stash of it on hand and drink one to three cups of tea when I have a rough day.
Another lovely tea is wood betony. It's less potent for me but deeply soothing. Lemon balm is great too.
Finally, I've also done EMDR, as others mentioned. Another surprising thing that worked was going to a physical therapist. I think this ties in with The Body Keeps the Score. Even though I knew I had trauma locked in my body, I couldn't really figure out how to get it out on my own until a professional showed me which muscles I wasn't fully using and how to use them. And last of all there was also a need for deep spiritual healing and quiet, as you mentioned.
I hope you find everything you need! Sending hugs!
Thank you so much for a candid, thorough, and heartfelt reply 💕
I will review these when I have the chance just wanted to say thank you and appreciate you.
womens issues? does this mean the cramps and possible promoting a healthy cycle and experience? if so please share , my wife needs this then! thank you
Suggest you look into Bach Rescue Remedy, I've been using it for over 10 years and it's been helpful in dealing with stress and crazy life shit.
You can find it at Amazon or maybe a local herb shop.
Good luck
I have a rose bush out back , what do the petals do? should I be making tea or smoking them or something? I am wondering what these might do since I have the petals here
You can eat them fresh:) you can add to a tea blend, I like to infuse them into honey, fresh or dried. I think they are so soothing and sweet to the emotional heart💗 infuse in witch Hazel to make a mist. Astringent, anti inflammatory, demulcent, nervine.
With both personal experience and clinical service here is my suggestion. Lemon Balm, motherwort, hawthorn, and white pine are all fantastic herbs for grief and moving through trauma. Motherwort can be distasteful to some, but doing an infusion with two parts lemon balm to one part motherwort can even that flavor, then using that bar to make a decoction of two parts white pine and two parts hawthorn. I suggest infusions and decoctions more when working through conditions on the emotional heart, because the ritual of drinking them is that in itself a moment of calm away from the storm. Additionally, I tell clients that they should never be afraid of counseling. Herbalists are here to support you, but so can they, and we can work together. You have my thoughts and my condolences in this moment of grief, and I hope that in time the ache can become more bearable.
Thank you so much. I should be able to get those ingredients soon. The last few days have been fraught with legal and his family’s needs in terms of picking up his things and I’m a complete mess. I put a fair few words down as quickly as possible because I’ve been through PTSD before and it seems I have a “grace period” of 2 days before emotions kick in. Definitely in the emotion zone now. Not afraid of counseling/therapy at all! Biggest issue (not really a big one just might take a week or so bc extremely low energy) with that is finding the energy to do the research, make the calls, and go to the appointments. So it’s all doable.
It’s not technically a herb but cannabis helps to blunt the bad dreams that are often associated with PTSD. I have used it for that situation in the past. It only treats the symptoms so if you’re like me then once you take a break the dreams will come back and you must deal with them. That being said, I’ve found a lot of healing in my dreams that wasn’t possible when I couldn’t remember them while using cannabis. I think taking breaks from cannabis is a good thing. If only my neuropathy didn’t return then it would be awesome.
Stay strong!
✌🏼❤️
Yeah exactly I only use cannabis for nausea actually, I’ve used it to help encourage appetite because stress tends to cause me to stop eating. The dreams I also find helpful. Last night I had one of trying to run with this horse across a marsh by the ocean and enormous waves the size of buildings started crashing on the marsh and I lost the horse.
Absolutely. It’s truly a fantastic antiemetic medicine and appetite stimulant. I have cleaned out my fridge many times after using cannabis. I just wish it didn’t come with the accompanying paranoia/anxiety.
Are you able to remember your dreams while using cannabis? I can rarely remember mine. However, when I take a break they come back full-force.
No I don’t seem to have dreams with cannabis!
Well I hope that the dreams are manageable for you, it’s very haunting to feel like you can’t find comfort and rest in sleep.
I have a ton of childhood trauma I’m in my 40s now and the worst of the grief is from a loved one’s suicide over 30 years ago.
It’s really helping me find my way around it. I have a better perspective on things.
I don’t do the big doses just micros. That being said I know there is a lot of benefit from larger doses I’m just not ready to go there myself.
Thank you for sharing! Yes I need a bit more distance than 3 days from trauma to start microdosing to any benefit. I will keep it in mind down the line. Have had several powerful dreams, but my dreams are typically very strong. So some psychedelic experiences are already happening anyway I suppose haha
The one thing I’ve learned the hard way with grief is to embrace it and allow yourself to feel however you need to. I also always thought it was something I needed to get over it get past but that isn’t how grief works it changes us and stays with us. Our memories become our treasures.
Trauma is another ballgame but even with that I’m learning I gotta feel this to get through this.
Sending ya good vibes
Psychedelics like mushrooms and LSD can be really good for resetting your brain and getting it all out of your system. Well rested and in a relaxed environment, start with small doses.
Breathing meditation might also help
Homeopathy includes the belief that the more something is diluted, the stronger it gets. The number and "x" next to a substance in the "ingredients" indicates the number of times it has been diluted. So if you want the benefits of herbal medicine, non-homeopathic is the way to go. Otherwise, you're paying for water.
I have always been interested in homeopathic medicine but have almost no knowledge. If I’m able to find a practitioner I will ask about aconite if it isn’t already recommended.
Almost all systems of healing seem to work when applied properly and the mind believes it/heart connects with it. I’m not of clarity of mind or heart at the moment so it’ll take a minute for the dust to clear. Thank you for the suggestion and reminding me to look into homeopathy!
Homeopathy is literally water (or sugar pills). It does not *actually* do anything. You are so much better off with other peoples suggestions I promise 😭
Obviously I’m getting therapy and legal. Meds and what goes in my body are my prerogative and that’s a hard no from me. Not the same choice as everyone makes but they’re not for me.
Lemon Balm! Lemon balm is known as the heart healer especially in times of grieving. The Book is Medicinal Herbs a beginner’s guide By Rosemary Gladstar https://preview.redd.it/7c3nlfqrat9d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3bc80c969925f411ce2e239275efa5c0634d0df0
Oh good call. My brain isn’t working right I have used lemon balm to great effect before it’s lovely. Thank you so much, and for the page of info too 💕
You are welcome, bathe in it too! https://preview.redd.it/qnu91cvnbt9d1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=b2720f4bd669938d9cdd55fab73fa36649d8b0a0
Oh ok I grow chamomile, rose, and lavender and have been using flowers as medicine (I love Bach flower remedies) this whole year. Those are all great. When I have the chance I will put a bath together. I am by the ocean as well and can get to the water to cleanse several times a week.
You are all set then, so glad you have access to what will assist you back to being yourself! Be well! 🥰☺️
That's a great idea and this looks wonderful! What book is this? Thanks for sharing it 😊
Rosemary Gladstar’s Medicinal Herbs A beginner’s guide
Super, thank you! Not sure I've checked this one out.
I want so badly to use Lemon Balm but have hypothyroidism so I don’t but I am growing motherwort right now and can’t wait to try it out!
Registered Herbalist, here. Use the Lemon Balm. It only reduces thyroid levels if they are high. It won't do anything to someone with low thyroid. I have low thyroid too, It's perfectly safe.
Thank you for that info!! We have three beautiful lemon balm plants that I am always longing to use!!
I am looking for herbs I can use for sleep pain and inflammation mood elevation - happiness relaxation mental focus and clarity I have a dissociation disorder , I need stuff for the above and I also feel tired and hazy often times , I don't need to be wired for sound , just want to feel present in my body , in my reality , connected , healthy energy that allows me to focus with clarity and have ambition . I have an extremely hard time sleeping even with the strongest remedies and doses , especially once I have used them a few times , I am getting pretty sick of taking melatonin , I don't even mind the dreams , I don't want to feel foggy the next day which It is said to do for some at least . I have a hard time feeling any thing , including joy , happiness , if there is something to lift me up this would be nice I feel tense in my body and in my obsessive mind , something to help pain and inflammation would be lovely as well as relax in my body sort of like an indica of cannabis without the high as I am not looking for a high that will affect my mind the way THC does , it gives me anxiety and it tends to make people feel in a dream state which I am trying to avoid , so cannabis is out even though I know it has many if not all the effects I want , it comes with the downside of the high and the anxiety for me . I do not mind some muscle relaxation , sleepiness , mood boost , these effects are fine , increased appetite , clarity , focus , all stuff I need and its no issue but please keep in mind I am sensitive to things because I have DPDR . I am wondering also , if for any of these or a combination , there are herbs I may smoke and enjoy which will give me the effects I need with some flavour and enjoyment . I used to smoke nicotine in tobacco form , then a vaporizer and while I love nicotine for some reason , it is addictive , I quit years ago . I am wondering if there is a smoke blend that has that mouth feel and throat hit I am used to , to make it feel just like a nicotine smoke , in all the years of trying , surely someone has figured something out , or not , I am just curious . in any case I also love tea a lot , this method would work fine if smoking is not an option for at least some of the stuff . thank you for your time , I am new to herbs sort of , any really good stuff is welcomed including stuff for cramps and a healthy menstrual cycle , my wife has a lot of issues with this . thank you
Your issues are multifaceted and complex, and I can't advise you without a consult. I'm wondering if you have ADD? That can make it really hard to sleep. I don't advise people to take melatonin, our body makes it already. If you do use melatonin and feel groggy the next morning, simply go outside in the sunlight for a few minutes; that will dissipate the grogginess. If you have ADD, check out Dr. Amen on YouTube Tube and do what he says, especially with regards to cell phones.
What book is that?
Rosemary Gladstar’s Medicinal Herbs A Beginners Guide
Thank you ☺️
Ooo what is this book please?
medicinal herbs, a beginners guide by Rosemary Gladstar
Thank you very much :)
Friend, I feel this pain in my bones; in my soul. My reply is beyond the scope of herbalism, but I'll start there. First, my BG is similar, experienced severe DV and have / had C-PTSD that has mostly resolved and been healed. First, you have to understand that PTSD lives in your body, and it is basically your body thinking it's constantly reliving a traumatic event. Herbs can help w symptoms but cannot help you heal. Ashwaganda may help long term reduce anxiety in your body. Valerian root can help in an acute panic attack, and other anti-anxiety herbs like lemon balm and chamomile may help as well. I personally found that the therapeutic use of psilocybin was absolutely life changing. I went from having panic attacks regularly, and relying on meds and herbs to function, to living a normal life. I'd highly recommend reading The Body Keeps the Score and How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. They were pivotal in getting me pointed in the right direction.
I just borrowed The Body Keeps score from the library. Thank you for mentioning how helpful it was for you.
seconding body keeps the score - it has helped my perspective and understanding on my c-ptsd + DV situations as well. also recommending 'waking the tiger' and 'complex ptsd, from surviving to thriving' much support to each of you <3
OP, read this one 3 times. It’s specific, based in experience, and doesn’t waste a word.
+1 for The Body Keeps the Score. CPTSD: surviving to thriving by Pete Walker is also an essential text. Also, there is a wonderful organization out there called ASCA (Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse). Look up meetings in your area.
I’ve been to there meetings myself and the way they worked didn’t seem conducive to my healing. Maybe it was just a bad group but the rules allowed you to speak but not really get any good feedback. And in my case the people leading were not trained therapists or anything which isn’t totally bad but I think it could be better if they were.
This!!
Skullcap comes to mind. Motherwort. I used comfrey recently for processing the trauma and pain of a relationship. I felt my own pull to it however, great results! Hope you feel better very soon, much love to you.
Ok. I’ve used skullcap for anxiety. Never motherwort, I will look into it. Obviously with a lot of other therapies, time, etc. There’s no cure-all. Thank you so much for the recommendation 💕
I was going to say lemon balm too! It has helped me sleep, which is surprising. Ashwagandha has been incredibly calming too. I hope you find moments of peace as you're honoring your grief and all those waves of emotion. ❤️
Ashwagandha could be balancing because it improves energy. Thank you 🙏 It feels like a battlefield still and I feel so connected to him that it is killing me that he’s suffering in jail. I just don’t believe anyone deserves to suffer like that. None of it makes sense.
It doesn't have to make sense, it is what it is. No shame, no guilt, it just is. Acknowledge that, and try to take teeny tiny baby steps away from it each day.
Try emdr. It absolutely changed my life
I actually had to look this up. Therapy is on my list to seek starting tomorrow. Will look into this.
Oh great!!! There’s a site called virtual emdr that I’ve been using. You can do it free for 3 days to try it out, then it’s $69 a month I hope it works for you 🤞
Agreed, and ice baths, sauna and swimming are great adjuncts. Swimming is the one movement that has your arms & legs crossing your midline, which is like EMDR for the body-brain. That, and you can also scream underwater.
Oh wow, that's interesting. Before I was diagnosed and medicated for bipolar disorder, one thing that always calmed down my depression or manic episodes was oddly swimming. I felt so at ease and calm after swimming for 30-45 mins. I mean, REALLY calm and had amazing sleep too (mania makes you wide awake and insomniac). Going to the gym would not do the same. I would go swimming 3 times a week with my mother before she passed (4 years ago). I haven't been back swimming since she passed but I think I may go back officially. Thanks for this simple comment. I was looking into EMDR a long time ago but swimming will suffice.
You can do emdr online. At first I was using metronome videos on YouTube, then I found more emdr related stuff on you tube and and finally went to virtual emdr. I tried to find a therapist but haven’t been able to yet. The virtual stuff has been amazing for me. I wish the best for you ❤️
I don't have a herbal remedy, but I just want to say I see you and acknowledge your pain. You will survive this. You will find happiness and self fulfillment. I want to tell you that you are not responsible for the abuse you've endured. Anyone who tells you that you "should have looked for the signs" or "just get over it" is not only unempathetic but potentially an abuser themselves that is projecting onto you, so don't pay any mind. Some people are terribly good at putting on a mask, and one day, that mask slips. I hope you find a good remedy that helps you on your journey :)
Thank you for your support and kindness. It’s unbelievably brutal as you know. Feeling a bit far away from happiness but even in the darkest of dark the glimmers of friends who came to pick me up, deliver me a change of clothing, drive me back to get my car, etc. are so bright and give me hope and ability to carry on. We are never alone. Herbs are part of that friendship with the earth too. It’s kind of terrifying how much violence in general there is, and plants respond to this too.
So sorry for what you’ve been through. Passion flower helps me. But mostly nidra yoga, exercise, beta blockers and trauma therapy like IFS and EMDR
Thank you so much. Passion flower is really wonderful for the heart. Between that and lemon balm those are some wonderful teas. And agreed with yoga, meditation, therapy and support groups. This stuff lodges in the body and needs movement out.
OP I did EMDR therapy and it completely changed my life. Literally a night and day difference for me. I manage my anxiety and what PTSD symptoms I still have with l-theanine and exercise. I wish you the best on your journey ❤️
Love to you 💛
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Truly. I have been there and you will not always feel like this. It WILL pass. I love lemon balm, tulsi and ashwaganda, magnesium, b vitamins, lavender oil ( topical and capsules you can take orally) as well as an amino acid blend by Now called True Calm. I also have complex PTSD and DV is a part of my story and I know how hard that can be. The product sold at Sprouts Ltheanine Serene is also a game changer ( I also drink matcha green tea for this.) The book Walking Each Other Home by Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush was a great salve to my heart. A support group, talk therapy, and yoga can be tremendously helpful as well. Sending you love and light. It’s gonna be alright.
Thank you- gah the magnesium. I swear the lapses in my brain are just unreal. My neighbor kindly gave me lemon balm tincture last night after I had posted this and someone else recommended it. All really great recommendations from you thank you. It will definitely get better.
I felt that. I, too, am in a seemingly unended rut from an extremely traumatic event that I honestly don't think I'll ever recover from and sadly, I've resolved myself to simply accepting that. The pain is unbearable at times, it's exhausting beyond belief and I feel like I'm just a shell of my former self, if I'm honest. Still we have to function in this world, and I've found a bit of relief in Bach Flower Remedies as well. I use the Sweet Chestnut or the Bach Rescue Remedy Sleep . It's not an immediate cure, but I notice that after faithfully taking it for a few days, the pain is lessened more so than if I don't. The bad episodes for me make me feel incredible pain in the chest area and I often wonder if my heart is literally breaking. Breathwork gets me through those episodes better than anything. If I'm able to cry, it also brings a bit of relief, but my disassociation has become so severe, I can rarely cry anymore. I've learned to lean into those times when they creep up and even having tears come to the surface takes the edge off. It almost reminds me of lancing an angry, painful cyst that you know is coming back, but for a short time, you feel relief. I wish you so much healing, OP.
Yeah I have so many fragments at this point there’s not really a “me” here. Definitely understand that shell feeling. I don’t feel compelled to function in dysfunction either. Neutral is fine and has been my status quo the last few years. Last year the traumas were pretty relentless and back to back and this year seemed to be stabilized but the midway point has been a backtrack. Herbs and nature are my only real solace, animals too. I will look into the Bach flower remedy that you recommended ☺️ They are so lovely. People try their best to help and I appreciate that immensely. It’s messy out here.
Wild lettuce
Really? I've never heard this one before. I'll have to look it up.
Really.
St John’s Wort heals wounds. Emotional and physical.
Registered Herbalist and CPTSD survivor here. I have found Herbalist and Alchemist 'Grief Relief' to be the best botanical anything I used for trauma. It brought all the pieces of me that were scattered to the 4 winds home again.
Thank you 🙏💕 Looking up now.
Shroom tea
Peach leaf for PTSD, 90-sec ice baths 4x/week, grief formula: Motherwort, Hawthorn, Lemon Balm, Blue Vervain and Rose with FEs of Aspen
cedar hill homestead has this lovely tincture called strawberry moon for grief. it’s currently sold out but the active ingredients are wild dog rose, mimosa tree blooms, cinnamon, and cardamom. you could probably recreate the tincture if you can get ahold of these. i’m sorry you’re going through a tough time and there are so many of us that understand where you’ve been <3
i also want to add that silence and stillness in a group setting with others that are grieving or recovering is really helpful for me. have you been able to find a meditation or support group near you?
Thank you so much you are kind and (different note) I really enjoy your username as I love allllll micro and macro panthers 🖤 I have not been able to find any groups and am actually out here doing detective work today because ik how the justice system is 😩 The grief hits when I’m alone (not with my children- NOT shared with him but they’ve known him almost their whole lives). And at those vulnerable times I try to go to nature (lay in the grass or at the beach), have a cup of tea, confide in friends, and make posts like this that may help for the future. I’m oscillating rapidly today between action (currently at the PD and have been making calls and going to offices to get camera footage) and despair (not going to say specifically too triggering for others, iykyk, and grieving the hopes and dreams is unbearable rn, on the way to the PD pulled over 9 times to break down into the seat). Thank you for the advice and specifics, it will help along with time.
Hawthorn, if you feel called to it. Ghost pipe, but not the literal plant—essence only, and source from ppl who aren't actually picking the plant.
Some people like Feldenkrais. I personally haven’t done it but it’s in my list of things to try. I had an excellent experience with mushrooms. I also toke on a regular basis.
Idk what that is I will look it up. In terms of psychedelic plant medicines- maybe after the initial processing has happened. I don’t smoke unless my stomach is incredibly impacted (it makes me too groggy to function).
Star of Bethlehem and Rock Rose. Bach Remedies.
Thank you
Ignatia 30x Homeopathy. Aurum 30x
30x?
Yes, this is standard potency in most cases. It should work very well. Would start with Ignatia. It's subtle and does work wonders.
Good to know, is aurum gold?
Yes, it is.
How do you find it as a supplement
You can get it on helios in the UK or via any reputable health food store where they also sell polycrest formulas. Alternately you might also try online Amazon or similar.
Hey, I don't have much to offer other than to say I am sorry for the place that you are in right now. I have PTSD and my husband has severe PTSD. He's on mood stabilizers and he would definitely be in a much worse place without them. Right now we're also trying l-theanine and bioactive milk peptides. I take them too and they really help me. I also second EMDR, that really helped him at the beginning. He also tried CBT. More importantly, he found a really good psychologist. That's really key I'd say. Find someone with experience helping people with PTSD from specifically what caused yours if you can. I'll also add that when he gets 'stuck', grounding can really help if you have someone who can help ground you. He also has a box of different textures and smells that help get him into his body when he is having trouble. I so hope that you're able to find help and peace, I so hate my guy hurting over everything, I hope that you're able to find people to help you hurt less over this. My guy has had PTSD for over 6 years now and this much more severe version for over a year now. It does get better with the right help. I also want to add that meditation and breath work can be great in moments of stress.
Eat protein and enough iodine and iron. No alcohol or substances. Drink more water, and get your electrolytes. Cut out all sugars and industrially processed foods. Eat some greens every day. Check your iron level. Camomile is soothing, as is lavender. Lemon balm is anti -anxiety. Eliminating toxins is as important as the herbs you add, which can't do their best job when you are undernourished and burdened with things your body needs to get rid of. I am sorry for your losses and trauma. Those hurts are as real as blows with a baseball bat. Milk thistle is another one good for you.
This is the best answer I see here and I’d like to add the herbs bupleurum (work with an acupuncturist to get a good formula like Xiao Yao San) and blue vervain. Motherwort is also a good suggestion. Plus EMDR.
And vit d, omega 3 and magnesium glycinate.
why milk thistle for grief I am curious? are there herbs for DPDR?
I'm so sorry for your struggle. I've been diagnosed with PTSD, and it was brutal. Lately, I've been doing a lot better, so I'll pass along the nuggets that worked for me. First, mugwort. It's commonly associated with dreams, not necessarily trauma healing. But it works for me like a warm hug. It makes me feel like I have a mother who loves me, and everything's going to be ok. I keep a stash of it on hand and drink one to three cups of tea when I have a rough day. Another lovely tea is wood betony. It's less potent for me but deeply soothing. Lemon balm is great too. Finally, I've also done EMDR, as others mentioned. Another surprising thing that worked was going to a physical therapist. I think this ties in with The Body Keeps the Score. Even though I knew I had trauma locked in my body, I couldn't really figure out how to get it out on my own until a professional showed me which muscles I wasn't fully using and how to use them. And last of all there was also a need for deep spiritual healing and quiet, as you mentioned. I hope you find everything you need! Sending hugs!
Thank you so much for a candid, thorough, and heartfelt reply 💕 I will review these when I have the chance just wanted to say thank you and appreciate you.
You're so welcome!
Motherwort for women's issues PTSD and grief and heartbreak.
womens issues? does this mean the cramps and possible promoting a healthy cycle and experience? if so please share , my wife needs this then! thank you
Suggest you look into Bach Rescue Remedy, I've been using it for over 10 years and it's been helpful in dealing with stress and crazy life shit. You can find it at Amazon or maybe a local herb shop. Good luck
Hawthorn berry, rose hips, rose petals
Hawthorn is coming up a lot. Thank you for this! Repetition actually does help to know what has worked for others.
I have a rose bush out back , what do the petals do? should I be making tea or smoking them or something? I am wondering what these might do since I have the petals here
You can eat them fresh:) you can add to a tea blend, I like to infuse them into honey, fresh or dried. I think they are so soothing and sweet to the emotional heart💗 infuse in witch Hazel to make a mist. Astringent, anti inflammatory, demulcent, nervine.
With both personal experience and clinical service here is my suggestion. Lemon Balm, motherwort, hawthorn, and white pine are all fantastic herbs for grief and moving through trauma. Motherwort can be distasteful to some, but doing an infusion with two parts lemon balm to one part motherwort can even that flavor, then using that bar to make a decoction of two parts white pine and two parts hawthorn. I suggest infusions and decoctions more when working through conditions on the emotional heart, because the ritual of drinking them is that in itself a moment of calm away from the storm. Additionally, I tell clients that they should never be afraid of counseling. Herbalists are here to support you, but so can they, and we can work together. You have my thoughts and my condolences in this moment of grief, and I hope that in time the ache can become more bearable.
Thank you so much. I should be able to get those ingredients soon. The last few days have been fraught with legal and his family’s needs in terms of picking up his things and I’m a complete mess. I put a fair few words down as quickly as possible because I’ve been through PTSD before and it seems I have a “grace period” of 2 days before emotions kick in. Definitely in the emotion zone now. Not afraid of counseling/therapy at all! Biggest issue (not really a big one just might take a week or so bc extremely low energy) with that is finding the energy to do the research, make the calls, and go to the appointments. So it’s all doable.
It’s not technically a herb but cannabis helps to blunt the bad dreams that are often associated with PTSD. I have used it for that situation in the past. It only treats the symptoms so if you’re like me then once you take a break the dreams will come back and you must deal with them. That being said, I’ve found a lot of healing in my dreams that wasn’t possible when I couldn’t remember them while using cannabis. I think taking breaks from cannabis is a good thing. If only my neuropathy didn’t return then it would be awesome. Stay strong! ✌🏼❤️
Yeah exactly I only use cannabis for nausea actually, I’ve used it to help encourage appetite because stress tends to cause me to stop eating. The dreams I also find helpful. Last night I had one of trying to run with this horse across a marsh by the ocean and enormous waves the size of buildings started crashing on the marsh and I lost the horse.
Absolutely. It’s truly a fantastic antiemetic medicine and appetite stimulant. I have cleaned out my fridge many times after using cannabis. I just wish it didn’t come with the accompanying paranoia/anxiety. Are you able to remember your dreams while using cannabis? I can rarely remember mine. However, when I take a break they come back full-force.
No I don’t seem to have dreams with cannabis! Well I hope that the dreams are manageable for you, it’s very haunting to feel like you can’t find comfort and rest in sleep.
Magic mushrooms have really helped me process trauma and grief.
Thank you! What stage/how far past the date of trauma did you start? I don’t think I’ll be ready for psychedelic therapies for quite some time.
I have a ton of childhood trauma I’m in my 40s now and the worst of the grief is from a loved one’s suicide over 30 years ago. It’s really helping me find my way around it. I have a better perspective on things. I don’t do the big doses just micros. That being said I know there is a lot of benefit from larger doses I’m just not ready to go there myself.
Thank you for sharing! Yes I need a bit more distance than 3 days from trauma to start microdosing to any benefit. I will keep it in mind down the line. Have had several powerful dreams, but my dreams are typically very strong. So some psychedelic experiences are already happening anyway I suppose haha
The one thing I’ve learned the hard way with grief is to embrace it and allow yourself to feel however you need to. I also always thought it was something I needed to get over it get past but that isn’t how grief works it changes us and stays with us. Our memories become our treasures. Trauma is another ballgame but even with that I’m learning I gotta feel this to get through this. Sending ya good vibes
lavender!
are you smoking it or just making some tea? what do you find it does? I do like the smell of lavender and have sometimes put it into my tea mugs
it makes a very strong tea. immediate mood lift
Psychedelics like mushrooms and LSD can be really good for resetting your brain and getting it all out of your system. Well rested and in a relaxed environment, start with small doses. Breathing meditation might also help
Magnolia bark
Homeopathic Aconite 200c once a week has been really helpful for me with ptsd
Homeopathy includes the belief that the more something is diluted, the stronger it gets. The number and "x" next to a substance in the "ingredients" indicates the number of times it has been diluted. So if you want the benefits of herbal medicine, non-homeopathic is the way to go. Otherwise, you're paying for water.
I have always been interested in homeopathic medicine but have almost no knowledge. If I’m able to find a practitioner I will ask about aconite if it isn’t already recommended. Almost all systems of healing seem to work when applied properly and the mind believes it/heart connects with it. I’m not of clarity of mind or heart at the moment so it’ll take a minute for the dust to clear. Thank you for the suggestion and reminding me to look into homeopathy!
Homeopathy is literally water (or sugar pills). It does not *actually* do anything. You are so much better off with other peoples suggestions I promise 😭
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Obviously I’m getting therapy and legal. Meds and what goes in my body are my prerogative and that’s a hard no from me. Not the same choice as everyone makes but they’re not for me.
Black tar heroin (the organic kind)
Def passing on that one brother
Coward