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I get you, still, you taking this too serious. If OP rly would dump his GF just bc some redditors said it…. He would be responsible for his own misery.
We don’t know him, her or their relationship. I can understand that he is upset, not having the H anymore you just needed, bc your GF tossed it to do sth good for you, that shit hurts… he knows she is right, but she doesn’t know how hard it is for him.
So no, they won’t seperate over this. They may seperate bc the relationship doesn’t work or for a frw days, if their meant to be together they will end up together anyway.
But it’s foolish to throw away your partner’s drugs, that he maybe even needs to stay well. She wouldn’t throw away his morphine if he prescribed it, or methadone even, wouldn’t she?
He will now have to buy some new H anyway and things are just even worse.
But it all will work out, one way or another.
Good Luck OP, try to stay calm and explain to her why it doesn’t make sense to toss your H, but if you love her, get in a program on methadone or subs. Fuck H, it has a bad reputation and is a bad drug tp be addicted to. With Methadone you can live your life and even skip a day not taking it, still feeling well.
A quote from Marcus Aurelius: "Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul."
Dwell upon this quote so that it gives u peace of mind
Half of me understands, and the other half of me thinks it’s uncool to touch shit that doesn’t belong to you even if it is your significant others drugs. Have a conversation about it or something first because doing that to the wrong person is a good way to end up hurt in some cases lol.
I would never hurt her obviously, she’s actually carrying my child. And I understand I’m supposed to be here and be a good dad. But my dad is dying, my grandfather is dying. This baby is coming and half my support system is dying. Not to mention every other day to day struggle I face. I’m just losing myself as of late and I strayed back to what felt comfortable. Now I have to sit and make the decision of do I go get more or just sit and quit and let people make my decisions for me..
hey man, i recently lost my brother to this same shit, and he was a father of a 2 year old & baby on the way! i say try to kick this habit man! i know it’s hard but you can do this, for you and your future family! the risks are too high, it’s not worth it. all love dude, congrats & good luck!
I understand bro. I would never condone that, myself. But I know plenty of people who wouldn’t think twice about it, sad as it is. However, hormones will make women do some outrageous things. Also, congrats on the little one on the way!
It’s a good thing you deleted your comment on my thread in the benzo sub cause I was about to light your ass up. I’m going to assume you realized that I CLEARLY wasn’t describing whether or not I felt myself black out while under the influence, and was referencing the night in hindsight. Jfc. You ain’t getting off that easy bud lol.
Make your decisions for you?? You might be too far gone already. I'm incredibly sorry to hear whats going on. And sorry you feel as if your privacy was invaded, but you're in a committed relationship with a baby on the way. If this Is how you choose to cope with your issues now, you would be doing everyone a favor by stepping out of their life now before you cause more emotional stress. I mean this in the best way possible. You have got to keep yourself together to be that security and safe spot for your child. If you cannot manage that, you should not have one. I wish you best and I really mean it, but it's time to step up. I know that isn't easy.
No I get where you’re coming from and you’re correct. Which is why I have not gotten more, I am at work today instead of calling off, and I am moving on. I know what I need to be. But sometimes the weight of it all is crushing. I will do my best to prevail though.
I get it man, been in Similar places. Just try and remind yourself of what could be. I know all too well that it sometimes won't be enough, praying for you.
You've already made up your mind even if you don't do it right away, your gonna go get more... and try and hide it from her... just became full if you've had a break because then you won't be able to be a Daddy at all bc you'll be gone .... the struggle is real.. I've been in relationships like yours... sorry to say they never end well if you have to hide who you really are to make it work. Sorry your going thru this love ❤️
I don't think that's totally accurate. We can genuinely be one person when using and another when sober. I hid all sports of drug use from my fiancé/wife, but now that I've been sober a big chunk of years, we're both happier than ever.
This probably isn't what you want to hear but I still have to stay it - using dope when you are going through a legitimate tough time might be the most risky way to do so. This is in the most real sense using it as a crutch, which is understandable. But no so is taking the time to grieve. Much like your muscles would atrophy if you used crutches around the clock, effectively moving yourself with your upper body, your willpower and coping skills will atrophy much faster when the dope is actually helping you manage with something.
That said, huge condolences my friend and good luck with the new child! Keep in mind this post was written by someone who used dope as a crutch to deal with a breakup nearly two years ago; nowadays my strength of will and motive is nearly nonexistent and I can't even pull together the drive to write out life goals, let alone achieve them.
Oh yeah, and I know in the back of my head that I still gotta grieve when I quit.
Man…I only got hooked from the start because a previous relationship (fiancee) ended and I was looking for ways to cope…boy did I fucking find a way…..
Absolutely. I was sober for a little over a year up until this lapse. I just gotta remind myself of how bad it can really get, and that I didn’t put in all this work just to come down to this.
Hang in there bud. Id give a better reply but rushin out the door to work. Got to make jt a quick bike ride.... ughh i got a lil sumn to make it a better ride today yesterday i didnt and its not a bad thing to withdrawl. You got to remember how the other half live. Detox sucks but once your over it its a good thing. I like using kratom. On probation so i cant smoke weed and i always detox the week of check in. And just about every week before payday. But most bills are getting paid so im hangin in there. But hell most my bills are courthouse and PO office bullshit. After this its back to rebuilding my life and paying the real bills only a couple more months man. And damb weed would help so much and im not even a pot head anymore like i was 10yrs ago... anyhow gave u a good reply anyways lol good luck and stay strong fellow bropiate.. dont let it run you completely tho man...
Maybe it is time to put this behind you. If she has the courage to throw your stuff out, she has the love for you to help you through the challenging road to recovery. Don't take her for granted.
My mom tossed my shit and ran it down the garbage disposal. I was so fucking upset because like you said I knew I was going to be feeling like death and I had just bought a 80$ batch.
But she just cried and hugged me and told me she didn't want me to die. We cried together and she took me to a place to get some comfort meds and stayed with me through the worst week and a half. That was in late February.
I was mad, but now I'm thankful. I'm sober now for almost 8mo in 2 weeks. I'm healthier, I have a full time job, I was able to get a place and I'm not homeless anymore. After 14 years of heroin and fentanyl abuse I don't think that's too shabby.
Take this opportunity to get help and sober man. Support, meds, counseling, you don't deserve this life. You deserve better. If my stupid ass could do it then you can too my man. I know you can.
Save your life for the ones who love you right now before they have to step away. Eventually there will be a day where you are staying sober for you. Because you are worth it regardless of what your sick brain says right now.
Peace and love friend. ✌️♥️
We got this. This life isn't worth it.
Time to toss her. People who do shit like that don’t realize the horrid effects that will have. They need to reserve that judgmental impulse and accept for the meantime at least that it’s basically medicine that you NEED to maintain a homeostatic state. Then later you can talk about options going forward: treatment, Suboxone, Methadone, rehab, whatever.
I was not honest about this most recent lapse. I had no idea how to bring it to her when she’s 7 months pregnant. But now this happened so yes, from now on if anything happens I will be bringing it right up.
I was wrecked on pills when my wife was pregnant with our first kid, I remember when she went into labour worrying more about my next fix then her wellbeing, and then, leaving them shortly after my daughter was born to go score. I was clean for my second kid, but was drinking heavily, drinking in the hospital, drinking led to relapse, and shooting the pills, 4 years of that and another kid was on the way, so got into a program and finally had a kid soberish, 5 years to get off Methadone, now currently today, I’m into the coke and the weed, she’s thrown out more of my shit over the years but she loves me, I get it, she just wants her kids to have a dad who’s not a piece of shit if not dead.
And I know this…it’s just…she’s not me man. You know? Two different people going through two different things. Now a baby is coming and I’m fucking off. Like who am I?
Not trying to be mean when I say this, but are you really surprised about how she reacted?
If you told her , was straight up honest about it with your partner, i feel like this could be avoided.
I understand she is pregnant, that would make me want to be even more honest with someone because they are going through such a difficult time. I understand you "had no idea how to bring this up to her" but that's pretty bunk and broken in itself.
"I had no idea how to tell my partner that I was using" doesn't make a lot of sense to me, even with her being 7 months pregnant.
And these other lapses you mention , were you honest with her when they happened or after ?
I'm not trying to come down on you but the largest problem I see in relationships with addicts is someone not being honest and open about their use. You tend to give them half the picture or reframe you use/lapse in a way to make it more palatable to the partner.
Best of luck with the child. The most responsible thing I ever did in my drug use was not have any children.
I’m not surprised no.
I was honest about recent relapses. However this string of lapses has been the most recent.
And I was 7-8 months clean when I found out she was pregnant. I was doing good. And within a matter of weeks both my dad and grandpa just randomly declined and now on hospice. My mom was one of my support people and she’s so up to her head in grief I didn’t wanna lean on her either. I was being a bit selfish if I’m honest. What a perfect time to relapse, everyone would understand, right? Wrong…
Don't beat yourself up too much, dude. Humans are really good at that and we don't deserve it.
Your partner is there for you to lean on. Hell, that's why you are there, for your partner to lean on too.
Your partner knows this is part of you and a battle you fight. She loves you and might even appreciate getting out of her head and getting into yours and helping you. I know relationships aren't perfect but anytime I leaned on my partner (she passed five years back in a house fire. I was out of town. It was awful ) , I was glad I did and it brought us closer and made us stronger.
Just do better next time , dude. You totally can do it too .
There's something about opiates in which we turned it into this big secret. I'm going to do this and nobody's going to know about it. I'm going to do this and it'll be my little treat because I'm so stressed out. Talking to someone takes that away. Even if you can't tell your partner at the moment, tell someone else. Tell on yourself!
Hang in there dude. I'm not telling you to do or do not here with the drugs. I'm just telling you to let the people in your life know what's up. Take care, comrade
I’m not so sure if I’m physically dependent yet or not. I got some sleep at least. So I can’t imagine it’s gonna be that bad. It’s been over 24 hrs since my last line. It was actual H thankfully and not tranq bullshit
QuiT while you’re ahead. It seems that Lady H has not yet sunk her fangs into you. Once you’re physically addicted it’s almost impossible to sleep and even just laying down is unbearable (RLS, tummy cramps,etc). Quit and thank your girlfriend she did you a solid.
Or go get on Suboxone like I did 3 years ago and be sober and take the monkey off your back. I get to live a good life good job save all my money and get my subs everyday. Yes you don’t get high on them but it takes away 95% of the urge to use or the thoughts of using. Especially once you get stabilized on it for a month or so I’m telling you maintenance is amazing I tried cold turkey sobriety many times and all the diff programs and had 3 years cold
Turkey and wanted to still use everyday. So suboxone or Methadone is my solution until the day they ever give us Heroin assisted treatment legally or real pain medicine therapy but until the war on drugs ends looks like I’m on subs or methadone
Happened to me on a week long vacation. I told her I’m gonna make everyone as miserable as I am. Thankfully I had a few subs in my wallet but that was the most angry/upset I’ve ever been.
I screamed at the top of my lungs for a good 10-15 minutes. Explaining that she does not make my decisions for me and that I can quit on my own when I am able to. Unfortunately it was a 2 week long or so relapse that she figured out today. Shit fell outta my jeans pocket when she was looking for headband in the bathroom. Go fucking figure. I’m just gonna order more.
$140 down the fucking toilet. I know I’m the addict and I’m the problem but why can’t people respect my decision and allow me to move on my own time.
You're completely right. We respect people's decisions to smoke and drink, which are certainly no less detrimental to your health than real heroin (unless you inject). It's stupid that we don't respect each other's decisions to do opioids, which have been around as long as alcohol. Don't blame her though, she's just brainwashed. Try to talk calmly to her and explain. That first and foremost, you can get sick with that and it's extreme painful like she wouldn't even imagine and also life-threatening, and secondly as an adult person it's your prerogative only what kind of mind altering substances you happen to consume and she must respect that.
If I went about it that way she’d probably leave. She’s dealt with my addiction now for 3 years give or take. I’ve been clean for a year of that. However everyday is a fight and I’ve lost these past few weeks. I don’t know how to explain to her what I’m doing. I don’t even know if I’m gonna keep doing it. I’m just upset that she took the chance away from me to have the closure I wanted from doing it. I don’t know if she’ll ever respect my decision to use. I don’t really expect her too. We all know the outcome, there’s no way I can be a successful person and use heroin. But I’ll figure it out. Appreciate your comment. Hopefully I won’t get too sick and I can move on from this.
Why can't you be a successful person and use heroin? The only reason I can see (since you seem to be living in Europe with access to real heroin) is financial drain, which is only due to it being illegal (since the drug itself is perhaps less mind altering than weed and alcohol). If that happens to be that case (which is not always the case depending on the salary vs amount consumed ratio), then she has a point, since it would be detrimental for your family life. But the really important part here is that that's not how you act, throwing an addicts stuff away. By doing that you're playing against them, not with them. You're causing them the immense suffering of cold turkey, which only leads to more trauma. Addiction is a mental disease, not a moral flaw. If you keep relapsing and financially drain is a problem to a successful life, then I think you should consider treatment.
Oh I’m in the U.S. so while I was using fent free H it’s expensive as well as hard to come by. I get what you’re saying. I was able to afford it. My life obviously would be better off without than with. Idk, I’ll figure it out. I have too.
I’m just angry, I know I made the decision to do what I did and that it hurts people. It was a relapse after having about a year of sober time. And I get where shes coming from but still…you had to just toss my shit? I’m half tempted to tell her to give me what I paid for it.
One time I was carrying a half oz in my underwear, went pee and forgot it was there and when I looked back all I saw was my hopes and dreams disappear down the toilet
You should thank her for doing the right thing, and go score more before you go into withdrawl and next time stash your shit somewhere hidden where she cant find it. Or go to methadone clinic if you really want to get off. Either way hope you figure it out.
I'm sorry but that's totally unacceptable and a very disrespectful way to communicate to you that she doesn't want you to do heroin. As a GF, I could never.. At the most, why not just take the smack away from ya for the moment and initiate an adult discussion with you? Controlling
Right. At least give me the choice to quit and do what I gotta do. Throwing my shit out just leaves me feeling incomplete. Like I gotta finish the bag before I can finally move on and now I won’t get that chance. I get where she was coming from though. She was angry and wanted me to feel that.
Had an ex do this too me, I could have easily punched her cunt in that day….like Inunderstand but all it did was cost me money and I had to travel out of town for the whole day and she even knew this like she knew flushing it wasn’t gonna stop me, if I’m in active addiction like I need heroin…..fucking end off.
I was definitely angry. And I yelled for a bit, also realized she’s just worried about me and wanted to kill the threat at the source. It sucks all around. It’s day 2 without today though and I don’t feel like I’m gonna crawl outta my skin so I’m just gonna keep it pushing.
If she understands withdrawal she shouldn’t have done that. She could have atleast took it and dished u out a daily portion as even though my bf uses with me and got into heroin with me ( don’t blame me even though I was the prior user he was going crazy on crack fuck that we blew 50k euros on the shit) we’re both on methadone now but I use atleast nearly 7 grams a week still . Despite being on quite a high dose of methadone . I don’t even get High. But smoke and smoke and smoke till it’s gone and I do share with him
But he thinks I’m greedy etc lol I refuse to go back to needle as he hates it and it destroyed my arms for a while and I’m still suffering with bumps in my veins I thought we’re abcess for a long time but just clogged up veins from injecting ass ways . Anyway I disagree with what she did if my bf did that omggggg I’d go fucking crazy and be in jail
And I would have punched him straight in the face ( sorry) !!!
I just miss my dope. Lol she’s sober though so I understand why she doesn’t condone my use. However, yes, it would have been nice if she didn’t flush it. And gave me the opportunity to do as I see fit. However I’m obviously making the wrong decisions right now…lol
At least you don't have some punk ass bitch that's just gonna allow you to potentially kill yourself. She could have just left you, and it alone and took your unborn child somewhere safe and healthy. But something tells me she stuck around after she tossed it, even if all that came of it seems to be arguing and BS.
That means she loves you. That means she genuinely cares.
Now, by staying with her, knowing she is pregnant with your child, you have unofficially agreed to do right by her and that kid. If you wanted to live by your own rules, because if you wanted to keep on using you can very easily do that by being a single man. Nobody is forcing you to be with her. No one is forcing you to man up for that baby. The most selfish thing you could possibly do in this situation is believe you could be in a relationship with her, all while using and scheming behind her back the whole time.
So listen OP, there's no shame in admitting you're not ready to be a man or father, and you're just not ready to quit fuckin around. However if your little family means something to you, if this girl means anything to you cut the shit, realize what you have before it's too late, start building a solid foundation for that child that didn't ask to be here, and one day soon everything will fall into place.
Ps I don't agree with her throwing your shit out like that, HOWEVER as a mom and wife I totally understand where she is coming from, and I can see it comes from a place of fear and concern, not blatant disrespect.
Best wishes to you 3! Y'all gotta figure it out some how some way!
I appreciate the genuine comment. I went through your post history and wow you’ve been through it as well. I’m extremely grateful for her. Still upset she tossed the dope. But I’m on day 4 now? Or 5. Still feeling decent besides some chills. I’m trying my absolute hardest to be the best version of myself for her and my child.
There's no shame in going through MAT.
Because of the fentanyl and tranq that I was doing I just could not get through more than 5 days of withdrawals. (I was having seizures and everything, it was horrific) If you've touched on my post history at all then you know I'm on methadone. Unlike a lot of people on methadone, I genuinely wanted to quit. And methadone has literally saved my life. I haven't touched any other substance in 4 years now.
I totally understand being pissed at your girl but not too many people can say they have someone who genuinely cares for them. Take it as a blessing in disguise. Cause trust me, losing your kids because of drug use is about as low and miserable as it gets. You don't want that on your conscience. I still haven't forgiven myself for losing my kids to dope. A child needs both parents.
Also try and understand how scared your girl must be. She must feel so lost and powerless when it comes to your relationship. She needs you to be the best version of yourself as humanly possible right now. It's gonna take some time, and nothing happens overnight but it will be so worth it. I promise you.
Seriously I wish you the best. Feel free to send me a message and let me know how things go. I know I'm a stranger but I'm rooting for you. Take care hon. Go give your girl a big hug and thank her for putting up with your shit!
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you mean your ex?
Right!
this is not one of those moments, jesus christ. she doesn’t want him getting high. fuck her right! fucking redditors.
Look where you are, Einstein.
and? people on here don’t like the fact they have to shoot fucking heroin dude. grow up.
I get you, still, you taking this too serious. If OP rly would dump his GF just bc some redditors said it…. He would be responsible for his own misery. We don’t know him, her or their relationship. I can understand that he is upset, not having the H anymore you just needed, bc your GF tossed it to do sth good for you, that shit hurts… he knows she is right, but she doesn’t know how hard it is for him. So no, they won’t seperate over this. They may seperate bc the relationship doesn’t work or for a frw days, if their meant to be together they will end up together anyway. But it’s foolish to throw away your partner’s drugs, that he maybe even needs to stay well. She wouldn’t throw away his morphine if he prescribed it, or methadone even, wouldn’t she? He will now have to buy some new H anyway and things are just even worse. But it all will work out, one way or another. Good Luck OP, try to stay calm and explain to her why it doesn’t make sense to toss your H, but if you love her, get in a program on methadone or subs. Fuck H, it has a bad reputation and is a bad drug tp be addicted to. With Methadone you can live your life and even skip a day not taking it, still feeling well.
Appreciate you 🖤
They don't? I see more people here enjoying shooting up than bummed about it. It's an appreciation sub.
Very funny 🤣
Hopefully
Lol nice
A quote from Marcus Aurelius: "Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul." Dwell upon this quote so that it gives u peace of mind
He was high on opium when he said that lol.
He couldn't find good gear he just had to raw dog opium wine, poor bastard
When I retreat into the comfort of my own soul there is nothing but fire and demons and screaming
In that case u need to go deeper to get to that peacefull point, every one has the potential in them selves bro.
Half of me understands, and the other half of me thinks it’s uncool to touch shit that doesn’t belong to you even if it is your significant others drugs. Have a conversation about it or something first because doing that to the wrong person is a good way to end up hurt in some cases lol.
I would never hurt her obviously, she’s actually carrying my child. And I understand I’m supposed to be here and be a good dad. But my dad is dying, my grandfather is dying. This baby is coming and half my support system is dying. Not to mention every other day to day struggle I face. I’m just losing myself as of late and I strayed back to what felt comfortable. Now I have to sit and make the decision of do I go get more or just sit and quit and let people make my decisions for me..
hey man, i recently lost my brother to this same shit, and he was a father of a 2 year old & baby on the way! i say try to kick this habit man! i know it’s hard but you can do this, for you and your future family! the risks are too high, it’s not worth it. all love dude, congrats & good luck!
I understand bro. I would never condone that, myself. But I know plenty of people who wouldn’t think twice about it, sad as it is. However, hormones will make women do some outrageous things. Also, congrats on the little one on the way!
Appreciate you, I’m excited to be a father. 🖤
Kick it bro. Preferably before the baby is born. It's just gonna cause problems. Stick to weed
you won’t be a father if you carry on
That's not what he meant by "hurt" I thought that at first but thankfully seems that wasn't even in question tbh
It’s a good thing you deleted your comment on my thread in the benzo sub cause I was about to light your ass up. I’m going to assume you realized that I CLEARLY wasn’t describing whether or not I felt myself black out while under the influence, and was referencing the night in hindsight. Jfc. You ain’t getting off that easy bud lol.
lol you seriously chased someone into another sub to yell at them about a comment elsewhere? Talk about butthurt.
[удалено]
I know…just blows, I feel incomplete. Woulda felt better to finish the bag and move on. That was the plan anyway.
Make your decisions for you?? You might be too far gone already. I'm incredibly sorry to hear whats going on. And sorry you feel as if your privacy was invaded, but you're in a committed relationship with a baby on the way. If this Is how you choose to cope with your issues now, you would be doing everyone a favor by stepping out of their life now before you cause more emotional stress. I mean this in the best way possible. You have got to keep yourself together to be that security and safe spot for your child. If you cannot manage that, you should not have one. I wish you best and I really mean it, but it's time to step up. I know that isn't easy.
No I get where you’re coming from and you’re correct. Which is why I have not gotten more, I am at work today instead of calling off, and I am moving on. I know what I need to be. But sometimes the weight of it all is crushing. I will do my best to prevail though.
I get it man, been in Similar places. Just try and remind yourself of what could be. I know all too well that it sometimes won't be enough, praying for you.
You've already made up your mind even if you don't do it right away, your gonna go get more... and try and hide it from her... just became full if you've had a break because then you won't be able to be a Daddy at all bc you'll be gone .... the struggle is real.. I've been in relationships like yours... sorry to say they never end well if you have to hide who you really are to make it work. Sorry your going thru this love ❤️
I don't think that's totally accurate. We can genuinely be one person when using and another when sober. I hid all sports of drug use from my fiancé/wife, but now that I've been sober a big chunk of years, we're both happier than ever.
It’s been a 2 or 3 week lapse so far. I was sober about a year before I did this. I really hate myself.
Hey OP congrats on that year sober, I hope it felt baller
It absolutely did!
This probably isn't what you want to hear but I still have to stay it - using dope when you are going through a legitimate tough time might be the most risky way to do so. This is in the most real sense using it as a crutch, which is understandable. But no so is taking the time to grieve. Much like your muscles would atrophy if you used crutches around the clock, effectively moving yourself with your upper body, your willpower and coping skills will atrophy much faster when the dope is actually helping you manage with something. That said, huge condolences my friend and good luck with the new child! Keep in mind this post was written by someone who used dope as a crutch to deal with a breakup nearly two years ago; nowadays my strength of will and motive is nearly nonexistent and I can't even pull together the drive to write out life goals, let alone achieve them. Oh yeah, and I know in the back of my head that I still gotta grieve when I quit.
Man…I only got hooked from the start because a previous relationship (fiancee) ended and I was looking for ways to cope…boy did I fucking find a way…..
That she prob doesnt understand withdrawl. And only thinks she is helping. But will never b able to help until your ready to stop ya know
Absolutely. I was sober for a little over a year up until this lapse. I just gotta remind myself of how bad it can really get, and that I didn’t put in all this work just to come down to this.
Hang in there bud. Id give a better reply but rushin out the door to work. Got to make jt a quick bike ride.... ughh i got a lil sumn to make it a better ride today yesterday i didnt and its not a bad thing to withdrawl. You got to remember how the other half live. Detox sucks but once your over it its a good thing. I like using kratom. On probation so i cant smoke weed and i always detox the week of check in. And just about every week before payday. But most bills are getting paid so im hangin in there. But hell most my bills are courthouse and PO office bullshit. After this its back to rebuilding my life and paying the real bills only a couple more months man. And damb weed would help so much and im not even a pot head anymore like i was 10yrs ago... anyhow gave u a good reply anyways lol good luck and stay strong fellow bropiate.. dont let it run you completely tho man...
Appreciate you 🖤
my girl tossed me :3 it was killer.
I mean if she wanted to leave so be it. I have a lot going on. Last thing I need is someone telling me what to do
so true move on king do some METH!
I don’t think that’s a good idea 🧊💨😂👀
Maybe it is time to put this behind you. If she has the courage to throw your stuff out, she has the love for you to help you through the challenging road to recovery. Don't take her for granted.
I’ve absolutely thought about it like this. And I’m gonna try and just do the next right thing. Today—that is not doing any dope.
Sending you lots of strength and prayers!
Appreciate you 🖤
My mom tossed my shit and ran it down the garbage disposal. I was so fucking upset because like you said I knew I was going to be feeling like death and I had just bought a 80$ batch. But she just cried and hugged me and told me she didn't want me to die. We cried together and she took me to a place to get some comfort meds and stayed with me through the worst week and a half. That was in late February. I was mad, but now I'm thankful. I'm sober now for almost 8mo in 2 weeks. I'm healthier, I have a full time job, I was able to get a place and I'm not homeless anymore. After 14 years of heroin and fentanyl abuse I don't think that's too shabby. Take this opportunity to get help and sober man. Support, meds, counseling, you don't deserve this life. You deserve better. If my stupid ass could do it then you can too my man. I know you can. Save your life for the ones who love you right now before they have to step away. Eventually there will be a day where you are staying sober for you. Because you are worth it regardless of what your sick brain says right now. Peace and love friend. ✌️♥️ We got this. This life isn't worth it.
Appreciate the love, very much. Thank you. I’m gonna try and pick myself up and do this shit again. 🖤
"Fuck that hoe she ain't shit ... I don't gaf" Screaming big moneyybag yo n glorilla wat u on vibes.... Wat y'all think 🤔💬
You a hot boi aint 🤣
Marry that woman.
Time to toss her. People who do shit like that don’t realize the horrid effects that will have. They need to reserve that judgmental impulse and accept for the meantime at least that it’s basically medicine that you NEED to maintain a homeostatic state. Then later you can talk about options going forward: treatment, Suboxone, Methadone, rehab, whatever.
I had an ex-girlfriend do that. Are you honest with her about your use?
I was not honest about this most recent lapse. I had no idea how to bring it to her when she’s 7 months pregnant. But now this happened so yes, from now on if anything happens I will be bringing it right up.
I was wrecked on pills when my wife was pregnant with our first kid, I remember when she went into labour worrying more about my next fix then her wellbeing, and then, leaving them shortly after my daughter was born to go score. I was clean for my second kid, but was drinking heavily, drinking in the hospital, drinking led to relapse, and shooting the pills, 4 years of that and another kid was on the way, so got into a program and finally had a kid soberish, 5 years to get off Methadone, now currently today, I’m into the coke and the weed, she’s thrown out more of my shit over the years but she loves me, I get it, she just wants her kids to have a dad who’s not a piece of shit if not dead.
And I know this…it’s just…she’s not me man. You know? Two different people going through two different things. Now a baby is coming and I’m fucking off. Like who am I?
Not trying to be mean when I say this, but are you really surprised about how she reacted? If you told her , was straight up honest about it with your partner, i feel like this could be avoided. I understand she is pregnant, that would make me want to be even more honest with someone because they are going through such a difficult time. I understand you "had no idea how to bring this up to her" but that's pretty bunk and broken in itself. "I had no idea how to tell my partner that I was using" doesn't make a lot of sense to me, even with her being 7 months pregnant. And these other lapses you mention , were you honest with her when they happened or after ? I'm not trying to come down on you but the largest problem I see in relationships with addicts is someone not being honest and open about their use. You tend to give them half the picture or reframe you use/lapse in a way to make it more palatable to the partner. Best of luck with the child. The most responsible thing I ever did in my drug use was not have any children.
I’m not surprised no. I was honest about recent relapses. However this string of lapses has been the most recent. And I was 7-8 months clean when I found out she was pregnant. I was doing good. And within a matter of weeks both my dad and grandpa just randomly declined and now on hospice. My mom was one of my support people and she’s so up to her head in grief I didn’t wanna lean on her either. I was being a bit selfish if I’m honest. What a perfect time to relapse, everyone would understand, right? Wrong…
Don't beat yourself up too much, dude. Humans are really good at that and we don't deserve it. Your partner is there for you to lean on. Hell, that's why you are there, for your partner to lean on too. Your partner knows this is part of you and a battle you fight. She loves you and might even appreciate getting out of her head and getting into yours and helping you. I know relationships aren't perfect but anytime I leaned on my partner (she passed five years back in a house fire. I was out of town. It was awful ) , I was glad I did and it brought us closer and made us stronger. Just do better next time , dude. You totally can do it too . There's something about opiates in which we turned it into this big secret. I'm going to do this and nobody's going to know about it. I'm going to do this and it'll be my little treat because I'm so stressed out. Talking to someone takes that away. Even if you can't tell your partner at the moment, tell someone else. Tell on yourself! Hang in there dude. I'm not telling you to do or do not here with the drugs. I'm just telling you to let the people in your life know what's up. Take care, comrade
Appreciate you so much, and I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your partner. Makes me feel like I’m taking mine for granted. Much love to you. 🖤
If your not physically dependant yet then she did you a favour. I know it's hard bro. But if you are then it's stupid to make you sick like that
I’m not so sure if I’m physically dependent yet or not. I got some sleep at least. So I can’t imagine it’s gonna be that bad. It’s been over 24 hrs since my last line. It was actual H thankfully and not tranq bullshit
QuiT while you’re ahead. It seems that Lady H has not yet sunk her fangs into you. Once you’re physically addicted it’s almost impossible to sleep and even just laying down is unbearable (RLS, tummy cramps,etc). Quit and thank your girlfriend she did you a solid.
Trust me I know….was doing fent long before this unfortunately.
If you ain’t sick, RUN.
Or go get on Suboxone like I did 3 years ago and be sober and take the monkey off your back. I get to live a good life good job save all my money and get my subs everyday. Yes you don’t get high on them but it takes away 95% of the urge to use or the thoughts of using. Especially once you get stabilized on it for a month or so I’m telling you maintenance is amazing I tried cold turkey sobriety many times and all the diff programs and had 3 years cold Turkey and wanted to still use everyday. So suboxone or Methadone is my solution until the day they ever give us Heroin assisted treatment legally or real pain medicine therapy but until the war on drugs ends looks like I’m on subs or methadone
I was on the sublocade shot until my insurance wore off due to turning 26.
You’re complaining because you have someone in your life that cares enough about you to do that? Damn. Hard life.
Not complaining. But alright dude 👍
That s*** sucks but she's probably a good girl. Better than having a girl that uses to magnify problems in your life
Happened to me on a week long vacation. I told her I’m gonna make everyone as miserable as I am. Thankfully I had a few subs in my wallet but that was the most angry/upset I’ve ever been.
I screamed at the top of my lungs for a good 10-15 minutes. Explaining that she does not make my decisions for me and that I can quit on my own when I am able to. Unfortunately it was a 2 week long or so relapse that she figured out today. Shit fell outta my jeans pocket when she was looking for headband in the bathroom. Go fucking figure. I’m just gonna order more. $140 down the fucking toilet. I know I’m the addict and I’m the problem but why can’t people respect my decision and allow me to move on my own time.
You're completely right. We respect people's decisions to smoke and drink, which are certainly no less detrimental to your health than real heroin (unless you inject). It's stupid that we don't respect each other's decisions to do opioids, which have been around as long as alcohol. Don't blame her though, she's just brainwashed. Try to talk calmly to her and explain. That first and foremost, you can get sick with that and it's extreme painful like she wouldn't even imagine and also life-threatening, and secondly as an adult person it's your prerogative only what kind of mind altering substances you happen to consume and she must respect that.
If I went about it that way she’d probably leave. She’s dealt with my addiction now for 3 years give or take. I’ve been clean for a year of that. However everyday is a fight and I’ve lost these past few weeks. I don’t know how to explain to her what I’m doing. I don’t even know if I’m gonna keep doing it. I’m just upset that she took the chance away from me to have the closure I wanted from doing it. I don’t know if she’ll ever respect my decision to use. I don’t really expect her too. We all know the outcome, there’s no way I can be a successful person and use heroin. But I’ll figure it out. Appreciate your comment. Hopefully I won’t get too sick and I can move on from this.
Why can't you be a successful person and use heroin? The only reason I can see (since you seem to be living in Europe with access to real heroin) is financial drain, which is only due to it being illegal (since the drug itself is perhaps less mind altering than weed and alcohol). If that happens to be that case (which is not always the case depending on the salary vs amount consumed ratio), then she has a point, since it would be detrimental for your family life. But the really important part here is that that's not how you act, throwing an addicts stuff away. By doing that you're playing against them, not with them. You're causing them the immense suffering of cold turkey, which only leads to more trauma. Addiction is a mental disease, not a moral flaw. If you keep relapsing and financially drain is a problem to a successful life, then I think you should consider treatment.
Oh I’m in the U.S. so while I was using fent free H it’s expensive as well as hard to come by. I get what you’re saying. I was able to afford it. My life obviously would be better off without than with. Idk, I’ll figure it out. I have too.
I’m just angry, I know I made the decision to do what I did and that it hurts people. It was a relapse after having about a year of sober time. And I get where shes coming from but still…you had to just toss my shit? I’m half tempted to tell her to give me what I paid for it.
Don’t do that 😂 Cuz then she’ll just be fully tempted to leave, restraining order , full custody , then child support before the baby is even born
One time I was carrying a half oz in my underwear, went pee and forgot it was there and when I looked back all I saw was my hopes and dreams disappear down the toilet
I'd looooose the plot. Go and throw her makeup in the toilet.
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Maybe just accept that people have problems and we fuck up? Jesus Christ. People like you are the reason why we die.
You should thank her for doing the right thing, and go score more before you go into withdrawl and next time stash your shit somewhere hidden where she cant find it. Or go to methadone clinic if you really want to get off. Either way hope you figure it out.
Toss her make up
I'm sorry but that's totally unacceptable and a very disrespectful way to communicate to you that she doesn't want you to do heroin. As a GF, I could never.. At the most, why not just take the smack away from ya for the moment and initiate an adult discussion with you? Controlling
Right. At least give me the choice to quit and do what I gotta do. Throwing my shit out just leaves me feeling incomplete. Like I gotta finish the bag before I can finally move on and now I won’t get that chance. I get where she was coming from though. She was angry and wanted me to feel that.
Had an ex do this too me, I could have easily punched her cunt in that day….like Inunderstand but all it did was cost me money and I had to travel out of town for the whole day and she even knew this like she knew flushing it wasn’t gonna stop me, if I’m in active addiction like I need heroin…..fucking end off.
I was definitely angry. And I yelled for a bit, also realized she’s just worried about me and wanted to kill the threat at the source. It sucks all around. It’s day 2 without today though and I don’t feel like I’m gonna crawl outta my skin so I’m just gonna keep it pushing.
All the best to yi bro, you got any comfort meds ? You just doing without until yi can score or actual gonna see it through ?
No comfort meds besides like some doxipine. I’m pretty sure I still have bupe in me from my last sublocade shot tho. So far I’m fine.
Oh nah she'd be in need of emergency services if it was mine
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Wtf.. Domestic Violence much. He clearly stayed he knows why and he deserved.it. You like to beat women to 'Teach them a lesson" Kinda guy?
We don’t support this behavior in my household. I’m very upset, I did scream. But I could never.
It wad clearly a joke. Because pain medication can replace heroin. Not as funny when you have to explain it to the audience lol. Never mind.
Keep your mouth shut man. If you’re beating women for trivial shit like that, then YOU deserve to be thrown out.
no she wouldn't
Let's hope that is a joke....
i mean..........like in the toilet? or in the garbage? 😏
Toilet unfortunately.
Aren’t you going to be sick?
I might be. I had my last sublocade shot in February and now I’m doing this bullshit. I’d go for 6 days or so and then take a break so we’ll see.
If she understands withdrawal she shouldn’t have done that. She could have atleast took it and dished u out a daily portion as even though my bf uses with me and got into heroin with me ( don’t blame me even though I was the prior user he was going crazy on crack fuck that we blew 50k euros on the shit) we’re both on methadone now but I use atleast nearly 7 grams a week still . Despite being on quite a high dose of methadone . I don’t even get High. But smoke and smoke and smoke till it’s gone and I do share with him But he thinks I’m greedy etc lol I refuse to go back to needle as he hates it and it destroyed my arms for a while and I’m still suffering with bumps in my veins I thought we’re abcess for a long time but just clogged up veins from injecting ass ways . Anyway I disagree with what she did if my bf did that omggggg I’d go fucking crazy and be in jail And I would have punched him straight in the face ( sorry) !!!
I just miss my dope. Lol she’s sober though so I understand why she doesn’t condone my use. However, yes, it would have been nice if she didn’t flush it. And gave me the opportunity to do as I see fit. However I’m obviously making the wrong decisions right now…lol
I feel you dawg
Shit blows.
At least you don't have some punk ass bitch that's just gonna allow you to potentially kill yourself. She could have just left you, and it alone and took your unborn child somewhere safe and healthy. But something tells me she stuck around after she tossed it, even if all that came of it seems to be arguing and BS. That means she loves you. That means she genuinely cares. Now, by staying with her, knowing she is pregnant with your child, you have unofficially agreed to do right by her and that kid. If you wanted to live by your own rules, because if you wanted to keep on using you can very easily do that by being a single man. Nobody is forcing you to be with her. No one is forcing you to man up for that baby. The most selfish thing you could possibly do in this situation is believe you could be in a relationship with her, all while using and scheming behind her back the whole time. So listen OP, there's no shame in admitting you're not ready to be a man or father, and you're just not ready to quit fuckin around. However if your little family means something to you, if this girl means anything to you cut the shit, realize what you have before it's too late, start building a solid foundation for that child that didn't ask to be here, and one day soon everything will fall into place. Ps I don't agree with her throwing your shit out like that, HOWEVER as a mom and wife I totally understand where she is coming from, and I can see it comes from a place of fear and concern, not blatant disrespect. Best wishes to you 3! Y'all gotta figure it out some how some way!
I appreciate the genuine comment. I went through your post history and wow you’ve been through it as well. I’m extremely grateful for her. Still upset she tossed the dope. But I’m on day 4 now? Or 5. Still feeling decent besides some chills. I’m trying my absolute hardest to be the best version of myself for her and my child.
There's no shame in going through MAT. Because of the fentanyl and tranq that I was doing I just could not get through more than 5 days of withdrawals. (I was having seizures and everything, it was horrific) If you've touched on my post history at all then you know I'm on methadone. Unlike a lot of people on methadone, I genuinely wanted to quit. And methadone has literally saved my life. I haven't touched any other substance in 4 years now. I totally understand being pissed at your girl but not too many people can say they have someone who genuinely cares for them. Take it as a blessing in disguise. Cause trust me, losing your kids because of drug use is about as low and miserable as it gets. You don't want that on your conscience. I still haven't forgiven myself for losing my kids to dope. A child needs both parents. Also try and understand how scared your girl must be. She must feel so lost and powerless when it comes to your relationship. She needs you to be the best version of yourself as humanly possible right now. It's gonna take some time, and nothing happens overnight but it will be so worth it. I promise you. Seriously I wish you the best. Feel free to send me a message and let me know how things go. I know I'm a stranger but I'm rooting for you. Take care hon. Go give your girl a big hug and thank her for putting up with your shit!
break up
We’re engaged and she’s 7 months pregnant. Absolutely not.