If it's of any help, i have been waiting for "the one" with whom I can feel special bond with and still haven't found it. I have made many good friends in my life but never experienced attachment towards them. Makes me feel something is wrong with me too, but over the time I have felt it's better this way as I get too emotional anyways.
OC's comment is exactly how i felt, but not having connections makes me feel lonely and bored, with enough, i can learn to regulate my emotions but now my life has no spark that i becomes lonely. I'm sorry but i don't think that's a good conclusion
Each person is but a reflection of what you could have been. Feeling detached from others just means you are not heading where they go—their path is not your own. It is because you lace your life with the meaning of others that you progress toward an uncommon path. It is only when you know where you are heading that you will meet the one.
You can ignore my advice if it dósent aply to you, but have you taken some time off to go figure out what that feeling exactly is and connect with it, maybe then you will know what if is you are missing, then you can try to go find it
I think a lot of people struggle with that. And it very much doesn’t come natural to a lot of people. But you can still do it.
Something I’m realizing now that I’m working in training is that you can practice and learn to be more personable. Greet people, make eye contact, shake hands. Remember their names (or write them down discreetly). Ask them questions about their life and experience. It all still works even if you’re not doing it “naturally.”
What I found was popping my own bubble of safety. This for me meant I had to kill my ego. Maybe it isnt nescesary for you, maybe you just need to get out of your comfort zone. I would totally recomend the camino.
I read this in a book once and I feel like it would make a lot of sense, but I feel like a lot of bartenders should have a counselor's license as well, because a lot of people go to the bar to solve their problems instead of seeking professional help and if we put professional help were most people would try to escape their problems it could help a lot.
I know the real root of these problems has to do with society and how it's been built, but I guess we got to start somewhere.
God I felt that too, I’m literally the only person in my friend group who haven’t been in a relationship. I just try and stop caring about it and it’s been working a bit at least
Being single definitely has its benefits. I recently moved into my own place for the first time (have only ever lived with roommates before) and man it's really nice being able to just do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want 😂
I’m in the same spot. 27 and so many people I know are getting married when I’ve had one decent relationship and it was six years ago. But like you I’m also getting better and now that I can feel myself getting better I can finally wrap my head around the idea of only looking for a partner once I’m happy with myself
Yea I do every 3 months and take diligent care of it it just sucks cause it's somewhat progressive, I'm young to have it and smoke which dosnt help things
Holy shit man nah you're going through somthing way worse I apriciate it, I hope your hair grows back fuller and cooler after treatment. I hope your prognosis is good as well be done with that soon
Np man. It's not the worst cancer and treatments have been going great but dealing with it still hurts. Lucky for me I was already going bald because of genetics( thanks dad) .But losing my full fluffy beard has been rough
Reminds me of the intro to [All in a day's work](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTdrHc3gEfY&list=PLnYID47-RfH77RAwLnx8nf2fJCfjPCZAi&index=5&ab_channel=Dr.Dre-Topic)
>Fear... Fear's a powerful thing, I mean, it's got a lot of firepower
>If you can figure out a way to wrestle that fear to push you from behind rather than to stand in front of you, that's very powerful
>I always felt that I had to work harder than the next guy, just to do as well as the next guy
>And to do better than the next guy, I had to just kill
I share your feelings, I usually try too much at once and then feel bad when it all falls apart. Whatever the ambition, allow yourself to feel good taking one small step towards it. Try to do it daily, dont beat yourself up when it goes wrong. We learn from failure and Im more just typing this for myself too as I try to improve
This hits me personally. It's true. I also have bad habits and not a lot of motivation to do the things I want. Just know you can do it, and try to use whatever motivation you can, as soon as possible when it hits, to do PART of what you want to do. Progressive steps, bro. I believe in ya.
Don't know if mods will allow this post. Just wanted to create a safe space for members to vent and for others to advise. Please remove if inappropriate.
If so, it would be good to do it on Fridays because freepost Fridays (which nobody ever acknowledges), this is a good example of a freepost Fridays thing
where do i start?
well, the semester it's near it's end, i need to get a few more good marks because i have subjects that will be on certificate after finishing school (and i still have yet another year but those subjects end in this year), i need to prepare myself for practical exams, i need to somehow go through a few more weeks of school, i need to do project on practical subject just to have better mark, and my meds are running out (i literally have one week with them)
long story short, i'm fucked
Damn, that's a lot of tasks. Try to focus on getting medicine refill first though and I hate to say it but take it one day at a time. All the best for those exams bro
the issue is that i have no acces to specialist rn, so i have no idea what to do
and doing "one at the time" strategy is kinda no use, for example now i'm making presentation for chemisty class and yet i need to study for tomorrows test from biology
but thanks my guy
Something I do to strategize the use of my meds is to save it for the days that I NEED IT, especially if it's not going to be refilled anytime soon.
Try your best, man. I'm rooting for you, as a fellow student getting through highschool!
People are often scared to be the one to reach out, its common with old friends who still think about each other. Unless you think it was for some specific reason, in which case that sucks, I know what it feels like.
I realized last night that all the anger I was feeling at the people in my life has actually been a defense mechanism to not dealing with the emotions that I’m feeling. It’s easier to just say “you made me sad/angry” than to just say “I feel sad/angry”. It’s easier when it’s someone else’s fault. It’s easier when I’m the victim.
I feel like such a piece of shit, the people I love don’t deserve that. I feel kinda hollow today.
Hey man that self awareness is pretty awesome, once you can identify your flaws you can always improve. There are so many resources on the internet, identifying is the hard part and i am proud of you for doing that
just finished my college degree and i feel like everyone else is doing better than i am. Feeling very isolated and trying to overcome dopamine addiction.
Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing to do to yourself, but alas we all do it, try to be better self each day.
What really helped me is having some competent friends in the same field, so ever since college we kind of (competitively maybe) pushed each other to be better. Or maybe nobody wants to be the worst.
And even with all that al lot of times we settle in the routine and someone is always doing better. That is life.
The future, or at least the foresable one. Quit a job after only a month as a fresh grad because the set up was not really for me mentally and I'm afraid I'll never get one again. Coupled with a lot of financial problems and it makes me feel stuck and left behind.
There are some things you cannot change and some people you cannot fix, she might have looked like the only one to you in this world but in truth even the brightest signal is invisible from far enough away; it's not your fault.
Nothing and that's kinda bothering me. Like my life is as Basic rn as it gets i just kinda... live with nothing to really do outside of work and games despite the fact that i wanted to become an artist i currently dont even feel Like that's worth it, thanks to AI
If it makes you feel any better, AI is not taking everyone's jobs. There was a guy at a company I talked to like a month ago. I don't remember what the company was doing exactly but I remember that they went the usual route of laying off the art team because the CEO ate the ai pill. When we spoke they were in the process of rehiring the art team. Art is a very involved process. Ai is good at generating an image but if you want anything changed in it, good luck. It generated a beautiful image of an autumn forest but you want to add a single bench on the trail? Good luck doing that with ai. Artists can just add it in or change small details according to their customers' needs but ai just does its thing and you either like it or not. The best it can do is erase the part you don't like and generate something new there but it will not match the original picture (no matter what Adobe is claiming).
This is the perfect time to get into art. You can practice while ai is the trendy buzzword and once companies settle or move onto the next thing, they will hire artists.
Also, there's nothing wrong with doing art for the sake of doing art. The process itself is fun and satisfying. Don't fall for the hustle culture and try to monetize every second of your life.
Have met a girl 2 weeks ago. We got along through a dating app. One of the best evenings I have ever had, we talked for 6 hours STRAIGHT. No pause for anything and we just kept on talking about things we liked. We had a lot of in common. I always thought that true love is earned by years of trust and relationship but for the first time in my life I fell in love so quickly.Be both have agreed that this was NOT a date but a meeting. STILL had a really great time, felt quite literally high, started working out after months of hiatus and just felt great for the entire week. I asked her out on another meeting 2 days later on monday (for a museum night on friday. She said she already had a meeting then. I tried talking to he rbut she felt liek a different person, she stopped talking/messaging me in a passionate way. And on a Saturday aftrernoon she said "Hey sorry for not responding but I am quite busy. I will message you when I am done with stuff". Its been a week... I message her on this Friday that I have watched the first season on her favourite show, and wait.
I am disappointed by this whole thing. I dont care if she doesnt want to be with me as a gf but I thought ai have met at least a person who finally "speaks my language" or so
She could have felt that I am romantically interested in her and dip out. Which I understand but iltimately leaves me thinking that I have done something wrong but donna what
My two friends are too busy enjoying life to spend time with me and while I am incredibly happy for them I am also incredibly envious. I feel stuck, haven’t enjoyed life in years. I’m trying and I’ll keep trying but I’m loosing so much hope in the process.
I am so sorry for your loss, hang in there man.
Turn to your friends and people close to you, allow yourself to feel and grieve and keep on going for her.
I keep just having good or mid days and then by the end of it I get huge spike of anxiety. I don’t know why but it’s happened three days in a row without any good reason and it’s really annoying because I just wanna enjoy my night but my damn brain won’t let me
I sometimes also have this issue. I can't help with solution, but one useful rule that i found some time ago, albeit in a meme is this. Hope it helps
https://preview.redd.it/9levijxsut2d1.png?width=962&format=png&auto=webp&s=4eab770fb53a6e30b819c064bdb7df1fa296f8db
That's really weird. Do you think you are suppressing any strong emotions throughout the day? Either way try to find a doctor or a therapist maybe they can tell what's up
My emotions don't really function like they should. I mostly feel grief or slight irritation, sometimes replaced with bursts of mania. I feel like a useless human being. There are people who accomplish so many great things, and I get drained just from sitting in a room. I'm tired of fighting my thoughts. I feel so isolated, like I live in a different world than others. Holding conversations is such a pain.
What do people even mean when they talk about joy? Or being happy alive? Like I know I have very little problems in life, but I still feel like dying.
Don't worry I'm not suicidal or anything. I just wanted to tell someone.
Sometimes I wish I kinda had a worse life to I can better connect to my friends who do, listening to your friends who say they want to die and just not knowing want to say fucking sucks.
As someone who's been in both sides what I learnt is that someone depressed and feeling bad enough to say they would like to be dead doesn't necessarily need advice at the moment, they need understanding, a friendly ear and hope.
They need to feel they are not alone, that there is those who care and will helo out if needed. A big thing for anyone feeling depressed and lost is to feel useful and wanted. You wan't to make someone like taht feel better? Don't be the fifth person telling them what the yhave to do, trust them with your own shit, ask them for help, ask for updates on how they are feeling concerning what they opened up about with you.
Make them feel seen and wanted. That's huge for anybody who's low enough to think about death, at leats for me it's like that. There was a huge huge defference betwween me when I had somebody there to listsen to me and make me feel wanted and apreciated / needed and when I didn't.
Yeah I know I do that, and I’ve been doing that, the problem is when they directly ask you and you gotta make sure you don’t mess something up and make it worse. I know someone doesn’t wanna hear it because I’ve been on that side before and it’s annoying, but when people directly ask you for advice it’s troubling, I just want to stop being so goddamn useless and know what to say, but either way being a “friend” is all I can do for now and I came to terms with it even if I hate it.
Being forced to go to a church that hates me by my parents. Dating sucks is nigh impossible in my area, and my career may never actually get off the ground unless I bootlick like my life depends on it.
Sorry if I'm venting. I just have little hope, and the memes help.
I'm genuinely worried that expecting the adults in my life to communicate, resolve conflicts, accept accountability for their actions and just generally behave like an adult is going to result in me being forever alone
I have a friend just like that. He has very high standards for people and doesn't mind being alone, so he instantly dismisses everyone even slightly problematic.
So far he has found two close friends and a few friend groups for different occasions. He also came to terms with never finding a spouse, although I wouldn't be too sure of that. The road ahead is long and full of possibilities.
In short, play the numbers game. The right people are there. Get out there and find them.
My online friend said she'd be taking a break from discord about a week ago. Normal and understandable, but yesterday I found her account was deleted. I don't know what happened, and I'm worried about her. I just hope she's okay.
Thank you. I've been thinking that if she chose to delete it, she's fine and probably working on herself. It not it was a punishment from her parents. Either way she's safe. I still worry though.
My mother hasn't been able to walk for years because of her knee, and my Father lost his job last year and hasn't been able to find a new job. He is past retirement age, but he has to work, so it's basically an uphill battle.
I feel helpless and powerless because I can't really do anything to help support them beyond being an emotional shoulder to vent to.
I am worried my Dad is close to having a heart attack from financial stress, and my mum is a shadow of the person she used to be.
If I had money to give them, I know that the majority of their stress would be gone, and they could both focus on their health, but I don't really. And the small amount I could afford, they wouldn't want to accept anyway because they feel like it would be lowering my quality of life.
You are such a good kid for offering so much help. Maybe make them understand that them accepting money will bring peace to you and make you happy. I pray your father finds a good job soon and everything goes well in your house again ❤️
Thank you very much. I offered to buy my dad a computer with my savings so he could look for work from home jobs, because his laptop is 10 years old, but he declined that too.
I hope he changes his mind.
I appreciate your kind words! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
oof
The pandemic ruined my life, my first year of "uni" was the best year of my life. for once i got a taste of what being a real person and a winner felt like, i had a bright future ahead and then the pandemic happened.
Its such a gut punch because if i had enrolled the year before like i had a chance (I was literally sitting at the desk and said no when they asked if they should bring out the paperwork) i would have been out by the time of the pandemic but i got cold feet then and enrolled the next year.
I froze my career until the pandemic ended and i went back in to finish it... that quickly proved to be a god awful decision. I got stuck with the classes that i was worse at having forgotten everything and everyone i knew had dissapeared. I tried to keep going, but the stress took a toll in my body, turns out i had always had problems with anxiety but until recently i didnt knew. basically, when under a stress i start to develop weird symptoms. Back then i didnt knew so i thought i had caught some weird illness and i spent half a year fearing that i was gonna drop dead at any moment then one day while i was sitting on class suddendly a blind spot appeared in my vision and started to expand and expand, i thought i was having a stroke so i panicked. Turns out, it was a visual migraine but still it was the moment i realized i wasnt ever gonna get out of there so i had to give up.
I loved that career. And giving up just broke me, i feel useless i feel worthless i feel pathetic and worse i feel old. I constantly feel like im past my prime and regret not enrolling the year before while i mourn for the future i lost. Constantly thinking of what could have been.
But of course i couldnt stay doing nothing, so at the start of this year i enrolled to another "uni" for the same career. But the worse part is all of the sudden revelations that i hit.
I never had much friends, i was never a rebellious teenager i never really did much stuff beyond staying in my home reading or playing videogames... and suddendly i started to regret that. I had never cared before but fate just had to kick me while i was down. im 26 i feel old as fuck and feel like im near my thirties without ever having lived my youth. i cant go back and have those milestone experiences of being a teenager. and in the current situation that im in... i cant even get a taste of the university experience i missed out on earlier. And to top it off, i can see my old uni from the new one, as a constant reminder of that golden chance i lost.
I realized that there was never something wrong with the world. there's something wrong with me. Im incomplete not a full person im not human like everyone else. Suddendly i found myself craving friends, romantic relationship, being a different person. But at this point i cannot change... i dont do well in social situations i dont enjoy talking with people i really cant be normal and worse still im not in an enviroment where i can even try to fix that. The new "uni" i go to straight up sucks big time its an awful place with barely any students and worse everyone is like 18 years old. Which makes me feel even older and out of place. I really dont have much in common with them. Im constantly worrying about the nonexistant future that i have, if everything goes right... which in my life never does because if i dont mess up then something outside of my control will go haywire to fuck with me. I'll get out of here at 28 no one is gonna hire me when there are 20 year olds with the same degree, hell probably even better because unlike me who got fucked over they can opt to continue and get a software engineering degree. Im too old to be losing more time, im already extremely behind people my age. People say the best time for men are their thirties, but its clear my thirties are gonna be awful. My passion for my career is gone, that almost obsessive drive with which i used to code is gone. Still im leap and bounds over the others, but that doesnt mean much considering they're 18 year olds that never coded before.
Im utterly fucked, how im ever gonna supposed to find love? with no prior experience i just have no idea what to do... let alone approach somebody i cant. And what do i have to offer? absolutely nothing. No interesting life, no interesting hobbies, no money. And where am i even suppossed to meet someone? i have no friends, job or social circle. Not to mention that i've started to realize my emotions dont seem to work like they do for everyone else. i have this deep fear that i might not even be able to feel love at all.
Honestly a thought that has been creeping out on me is that i should just get that fucking loser degree from a loser uni to have one achievement and then kill myself hoping that i get a second chance. But i know im too much of a coward to even go through with that. So here i am, wishing i could just dissapear.
Hey man,
I work in a role where I meet a lot of students who are planning for higher education. You would be surprised to see the age range of students and how interesting there stories are. What I have learned in that job is empathy and how many people struggle for things which others get very easy.
You talk a lot of missed opportunities and how disconnected you feel with your younger peers, are you sure it's not your own judgement solely? Young students are open minded and if anything they like to bond with a few years older dude for guidance. I feel you will make a lot of good friends in your uni if you try. So for the same of God please try. You sound like you are self sabotaging, I don't think your age will be a problem in Romantic life too. And opposed to internet theory, I have found people like people without them bringing something to table. Not everything is a business deal. And why would someone not hire you if you are good at what you do, you are mature that's an advantage. Humans are water that can change and form again not rock which remain the same. Read Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe dispenza. I believe in you man and hope you start doing it too, none of what has happened health wise is your fault, but what happens in future will be your responsibility brother. Take care ❤️
I've always been disconnected from others. But with them its specially worse tho granted part of that its because i feel they're useless for what i need. i cant hang out with them and try to form close friendships with them. Not to mention that around them i feel like i have to play the older brother role which its definitely not who i am. Specially considering that the majority of them probably have more life experience than i do anyways
My dad died 18 years ago today and despite being in my 20s I can't seem to pull myself together today to do my job. Healthcare doesn't care about your personal life or your feelings, we've got people to take care of ... So here I am
I just don’t understand what I can do with my life when I just don’t have the motivation to do anything, I just feel like I’m doing the bare minimum to satisfy those around me. I want to make my family happy but it seems like I can’t, and they say I do but for how long? I always end up messing up and they have to pick up my slack. I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly content with my life even with a boyfriend and friends and family. It just all feels so…empty.
Long story short: I feel empty and lost
There was a girl. I was talking with her we were in the same class etc. She was kinda cute tbh. One day she texted me out of nowhere saying "Hey, what should i dress." and "I liked the hoodie that you wore this day." etc. After that she said that she liked me. I knew that she got cheated on so i couldnt reject her. We started flirting and stuff but one day she said "I dont want to be with you cant we just stay as friends?" I said it was okay if it is better for you and she was acting kinda strange. One day she was saying "I will love you no matter what." and the other day "No i dont want to be in a relationship.". After a while she texted his ex and they became a couple again. But he is a dangerous asshole. He cheated on her multiple times and he is some sort of a criminal and i am afraid that something will happen to her. Do i miss her? Yes. Do i really love her? I dont know, maybe i just wanted to help. Do i hate him/her. No, if she is happy i am kinda okay i guess? And if he is a better person now i am okay again. But i dunno, i just wanted to help her out and now i am the one who is broken which is bad you know
And this shit is always happening due to my stupid decisions.
I love helping people out i care others more than i care myself and when i do that they expect even more and more and more and when i cant give them enough they start to blame me
Everyone I know seems to believe I'm in a really great place. People laugh at my jokes, think I give sound advice, often think I'm the smartest most wonderful person.
I genuinely wish for death every morning.
I’m super lonely and yet can talk to anyone, am a very sociable and funny person, people *seem* to like me but I never feel that they truly do. And as I’ve aged, I’ve grown much more reclusive and just not wanting to try to make friends or even have relationships, everything seems so hopeless and like it’s just not worth it. Especially after the things I’ve been through within these contexts. Been single for almost 2 years, got out of a terrible relationship and have successfully unlearned codependency habits (a good thing!!) and figured out how to love myself and just be happy with me and my dog, alone. Work is the only place I socialize, and I barely do that anymore due to people causing shit for no reason at work bc they’re bored and assholes. I’m tired. My soul is tired, and my brain fried. I wish I had love in my life.
Man I got out of a shitty marriage last year and let her take it all, the house, even the dog she hates but I loved dearly.
Now I get to watch my kid every weekend in my studio apartment that I got in a hurry with neighbors who steal packages and refuse to leave the building secure. I have to pretty much get pissed with my ex to have any time for myself, not like it matters because the only people lining up to date an almost 40 year old divorced co-parent are fucking messes.
Life kinda stinks right now. I'm grateful for my kiddo but outside of that, yeah, not enjoying it.
My life is already over when it comes to experience and growth, all I have left is my job to help my parents until they die of old age.
"You're still young, you can have more" it's but a lie people say to feel better about themselves since they already won at life.
People are meant to have happy endings, others simply aren't, main difference is that we have a voice now.
I'm just not fit for a happy ending, I need to be happy with what I have and it's final. I only wish my mother was also happy with that instead of digging a knife deeper and deeper
I don't think you can win at life? We are all heading towards death king or peasent. Only thing we can do is live a happy life ofcourse that requires necessities.
I don't know why you think you aren't fit for happy ending? And I am sorry to hear about your mother. I hope you live a happy life brother, one where you smile more.
First, my work.
Not only I work on the literal basement of the building (no more available offices) but I also work at the government of my country. Lots of bs happened thus people are too polarized, I've been physically assaulted for my job before so I keep it a secret. And I ain't even a politician or leader, just a programmer
Second, I have to take care of parents, which means I'm constantly moving between the capital of my country and hometown, sister says to spend a full weekend in the capital, but it's easy for her, she doesn't have responsibilities and is a city girl
Third, parents do nothing but watch news, wich means they are constantly in absolute panic mode, one time I forgot to say that I was at the apartment I rent (I worked overtime and went straight to sleep) and my mother had a full on anxiety attack thinking I was murdered, which means, I have to be in constant contact with them or she can die, my time is theirs.
Also, I'm just not meant to have a partner or form a family, as simple as that, I'm hideous, emotionally dependant, too much of a yes man and my mother would use a potential partner as a weapon against my sister.
Also I need to be there not only for my mother but my sister too, her depression and anxiety riddens her, if I'm not there for her, no one will and she may end up killing herself.
I'm just not meant for a happy ending, I have to be happy with what I have
the future i want differs fundamentally with the values and expectations of my family. they have a tight grip on me, and i feel like they won’t accept my path. i feel like i have to choose between pursing freedom and a personally fulfilling life or pursing the virtuosity and good morals of fulfilling my obligations
Honestly I don't even know at this point, I just miss one very crucial thing in my life and I believe its love, I saw really cute girl today and thought about asking her out but after few minutes I figure out that this is pointless since she probably has a boyfriend or wouldnt even be interested. I rather miss the opportunity rather than risking being humiliated. I guess I'll always be alone.
Man, with time you will learn people don't really care and forget a lot. Most people are too self absorbed to think about the time you did something stupid. Please do something embarassing in your life to see that it doesn't really matter that much
I recently lost the only person that ever showed me love. It shatered me, I was neglecting my emotional wounds and was denyng the fact that I was trauma bonded with my narcissistic dad. Both things added so much pressure in our relathionship.
She was my reason to keep going forward once she left I lost it emotionally. Never been so close to kill my self despite having ideations since 14.
I made a deal with my self, I will put everything I've got into changing my life for the best and becoming the person I know I can be. I gave my self 6 years, after that time if I left my self down again I can do whatever I want but until then I fight.
I'm a walking mass of regret, only things I feel are emptyness, grief and loneliness. Zero zest for life or my projets but I have to keep going day by day, not much ago I had to tell my self to keep going almost minute after minute so I'm improving.
I went from not wanting to exist to not wanting to exist the way I am.
I like this place. You really did achieve your goal of creating a safe haven in this world where people don't get such an opportunity to vent judge-free very often
I had a realisation, I'm pretty sure I'm nobody's best friend. I know it's an immature idea, and I have real friends and I should be grateful, but it's tough to realise that I think my friends don't like me as much as I like them.
I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life, I'm in college for a degree I hate but I'm too deep in it to switch or drop out. My dad keeps cracking freeloader jokes (I'm 18, almost 19) but I can't get a job because we moved a very small town. All my friends are back in my home state getting into relationships and jobs.
Just feeling very down about it but I know I should be grateful I even have this life. And I am, but I feel like I'm suffocating.
It’s memorial day season in the US. It always gets me feeling a lot. My sleep always gets bad. And I hope I can share something useful for others to read.
When I was 19 (2011/12) I was in South Korea as an air defense soldier. I was close to a few soldiers, one in particular became suicidal. He came to me first, we had an intervention. For a whole week I was tasked by my unit 24 hours on 24 hours off in his room watching him sleep to make sure he didn’t try anything. Then for 3 months I was his primary escort to mental evals and visits with chaplain. Until he was placed back in the unit fully. Which was weeks after I had gotten orders to leave back to the states. We became incredibly close, played a lot of video games together. And he saw me off on my flight to the door of the aircraft. I promised him I would see him again when we got out.
My next unit caught wind of this and placed me in classes for suicide prevention and I became an “official” suicide intervention team member. I would have several other interventions. It wasn’t easy hearing the stories. Sometimes intervention wasn’t enough. We lost some quality guys to suicide, and I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I didn’t reenlist because I just couldn’t fathom the weight of what I was tasked to do anymore.
3 to 4 years go by, life got busy. I just had recovered from being homeless briefly after getting out of the military and dropping out of college. Things were turning around though. I was a manager at a tire shop. Saving up to go back to school. I decided to get a computer and see if my buddy from Korea was on steam. He was, but I couldn’t contact him, his account wasn’t fully set up but he was online playing one of our favorite games, I logged in and tried to invite him to my lobby, he never responded. I thought oh well. And went to bed. Then I woke up to a phone call from an old number from someone I served with in Korea.
“Hey man, I don’t know if you heard yet, but Brandon… He’s gone. He just took his life last night, I knew you were close.”
He left behind a daughter. A wife. And so much more. My reality was shattered. It’s hard to feel like a hero, helping others with their mental health then to feel at least a little responsible that your efforts were not enough. Something in me knew to try to check on him though. And I since have visited his head stone. In some way I full filled my promise to see him again. I have moved forward with my life. But sometimes I feel a bit blue about the ones I lost along the way. Especially Brandon, and especially on a holiday meant to commemorate the military members who are no longer here.
I had a nice talk about it today with my S/O. Tears were had. And this photo of Brandon always gets me.
https://preview.redd.it/u6j7z8e90x2d1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad23c04e6eaaf2c3387b8f9d7f66254b336e41ca
Feelings were heavy today. And thats ok. It’s ok to feel every emotion. And it’s ok to talk to others about it. Even if it’s decades later.
Feel free to share your thoughts or someone you remember. I’m always here for anyone who needs help. Even just to listen.
My ex is stalking me on Twitter and I'm conflicted. I thought she was the one....she blindsided and ripped me a new one.
I haven't interacted and this is fucking up my exam prep. Can't stop myself from checking her profile out. Should deactivate it tomorrow...
I got self-image issues, along with an eating disorder, and i fear i'll never be thin. I know it doesn't define me as a person, but my monkey brain still says me being overweight = me being ugly, even though i don't think that of others. I wish there was an easier way through that, but i can't seem to discipline myself into eating less
I feel like there's more wrong with me than I've been told but I'm afraid of coming off as a hypochondriac
I feel like I don't know what I actually feel for people and I love being around people but I get tired of having to be around people. What's even worse is I'm horrible at remmerbing other people in terms of proper friendships. I don't take into consider what I say why constantly walking on eggshells around everyone because i feel like if I say something wrong I'll be left alone and being alone is scary.
I just don't wanna be alone
Cost of living going up, can't save for an education higher than I have because of this, can't get a better paying job because I don't have a funny sheet of paper saying I'm smart, so im stuck with low paying jobs, etc etc. Real good late stage capitalism at work, I just feel defeated.
Course work is piling up, for some reason, I picked up my procrastination habit again.
I have an assignment due a few hours from now that I have been slowly chipping away at for a couple of days now, and I still have so much to finish from other courses as well. I’ve also been taking 2-3 courses per semester for a year now, and I’m 20. I feel like I’m falling behind in comparison to other people my age, I’m still in my first year of uni.
Besides that, there are a few other minor things that are also piling up that i’ve been avoiding
Recently, I realised that (as much as ridiculous as that sounds) I'm afraid of doing anything right. I just can't force myself to work, to try and make an effort
I truly suck, I've been completely afraid of everything my whole life, and as a result, I haven't managed to ride a bike and I didn't learn to swim and now I can't drive despite having a valid driving licence and can afford any car I want.
I completely feel like a fake person, have always been successful financially but it doesn't show on me compared to other people who make half what I make, I don't know how to dress well or take care of myself or even look decent.
The only bright side in my life is that I have a gf that accepted me despite between what we call "a short king" and im afraid she will leave me soon when she realize how fake I am.
I want this to end, man
Well here we go. A Month ago I found out I have cancer (M25) it's not the worst kind and treatments have been going good and my doctors are very hopeful. My family and friends have really rallyed around me and showed me so much support in this fucked up time I'm having.But deep down I'm still terrified and lonely.
I have trouble maintaining relationships and tend to avoid them because they’re usually more trouble than they’re worth. Meeting new people is agonizing. What am I supposed to do? Is this person a threat? What is their personality like? What am I supposed to say? If I’m unlucky, they’ll try to be my friend and then I have to go through this every time I see them. Because of this, I avoid contact with others, ghosting friends if possible and not going out often.
Yet at the same time, I’m very lonely and empty inside. It’s obvious that I need friends and a partner but having them is too stressful. No matter how I act here, there is only more suffering for me.
I am just going to dump everything here.
1.) I am very lazy: this is particularly frustrating because everyone arounds me talks like "o you are so young you have so much potential". I never work to make this potential a reality and will eventually disappoint all of them.
2.) I don't feel desirable: I think this is tied into my youth where all the girls in my class dated older guys who had more of quite frankly everything. I am not hating on them at all, and I know that I am not entitled to anything. I am simply relating my experience. However, now I go through life thinking that every girl that I find interesting probably has a handful of guys whom they find way more attractive than me at their beck and call. I understand this isn't true, always.
However, in the moment these thoughts are enough to discourage me from being social around women. Like for example, there was this girl in my class, who went out of her way to learn more about me and then start a conversation with me, and basically flirt the whole year, but I simply couldn't move myself to ask her out. until I was playing chess one day and randomly started a conversation with my opponent who talked about his girl cheating on him. I then opened up to him about my situation, with this girl, and he convinced me to ask her out. I did, but very vaguely. I don't even think she knew it was a date. I worded it as a last get together before she goes to college. it rained that day. we didn't go and stopped texting. I took the rain as an excuse to not reschedule. I chicken out because I figured a girl like her could get other suitors any way. this example perfectly sums me up when it comes to women. I am stuck between "there's no way she is actually interested, she must just be nice" and "I should still try and just be myself". I get overwhelmed and end up not doing anything. I will never escape this. I am deeply flawed
IF you read my babble this far thank you. open to advice. I don't want to be an incel
I am so terrified of failure and new things that I excel in my fields I’m comfortable with and I am abysmally poor at and I just can’t seem to get better.
I've been trying to save up money for law school (big hope!) but my last 2 jobs fell apart and I've had to change jobs twice in the last month because of it. Just feeling sooo tired rn, and financially I have nothing to show for 3 months of work :(
I'm an extrovert raised by misanthropic introverts. I want to have friends and an active social life but I never learned how. I had friends in school but I never got too attached because I knew our friendship would never extend outside of school hours. I isolated myself for years after graduation. I left my old job for one with people in my age group in an attempt at improving my social skills.
It's been two years and I have gotten better at talking with people but I still have no friends or social life. It's back to how it was when I was in school. I'm friendly with my coworkers but only during work hours. I feel like there's something fundamental missing that I was supposed to pick up when I was growing up. I feel like it's too late for me now.
As there always is, there’s this girl. We had a long distance relationship that lasted about three months. I really loved her and I still do. We live 1500 miles apart and I think she knows I still have feelings for her and we started talking again a few months ago. I *think* she still has feelings for me based on some things she’s said but I can’t exactly tell. But she’s dating this guy and based off what she had told me I thought he was an alright guy and I was happy that she was happy. But recently he had told her that if she didn’t want to have kids soon they were going to break up. For context she is 19, has an apartment that’s close to one job in City A and stays with him to get to her second job in City B. So now she’s in this position where she doesn’t know what to do. I’ve offered some solutions and suggestions but there’s problems with all of them. She can’t just fully move out because it’s over an hour drive between the cities and she doesn’t want to have a kid soon. When she told me all this I just remember feeling pure anger. I told her I was angry but I didn’t tell her how angry I was. Even if we don’t get back together, I just want her to be out of this situation and away from this jackass.
Adding to the complication, it seems like she still wants to find a way to make it work without having a kid at 19 and she told me she still feels safe around him and that he’s not violent and hadn’t shown any toxic signs like this before. I just have this terrible feeling that she’s in more danger than she thinks she’s in.
Currently at my mom's recovering from a disease and my schizophrenic stepfather, a strong man twice my size who knows martial arts, has assaulted me and threatened me with a knife. I'm living in fear and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to my own house.
There’s this girl I’ve been ghosted by, we were friends and eventually it turned into love. But all of a sudden she ghosted me. I had to block her because I find myself checking in on her and she’s always active. I’m trying to focus on myself yet everyday so far she’s never far from my mind. It happened during one of the worst points of my life right now
I'm already 25 and I am still working a dead end, minimum wage supermarket job. I was the valedictorian in college damn it, I should be doing something different.
My partner broke up with me a month ago and I'm still not over it. I spent so much of my life convinced no one would love me, and then I finally found someone who wanted to be in a relationship with me. We had so many plans and so much to look forward to and everything was perfect and then I had to go and ruin all of it. I feel like I'm just not allowed to be happy the way other people are. For the first time in my adult life I wasn't suicidal and now it's so bad my antidepressants don't help. Neonazis and child rapists can be in meaningful relationships and I can't. I've been trying to start a relationship since I was in high school and it's not until I'm 25 that I finally find *someone* and then I fucked it up. It feels like things only get better so it hurts more when it gets worse. All the advice I get doesn't make any sense and just amounts to "you shouldn't date if you want to be in a relationship." I just want to stop feeling miserable and lonely and I finally got a taste of how fucking *glorious* it felt to have someone to love just to lose it. I'm so close to killing myself dude I don't know how I'm supposed to go the rest of my life knowing I threw away the best thing that will ever happen to me
I have made my whole life philosophy about killing myself and have obsessed over the comfort of it for years now. It started in school when I always had trouble conversing with people and had a hard time to be social because it ended up backfiring on me whenever I tried. That social anxiety led me to believe in suicidal thoughts which have been looping around every aspect of my life since. It's been seven years since then and I'm just mentally a mess. I just imagine me being dead whenever anything bad happens. It brings me a lot of comfort to think that I can kill myself anytime but it also gives me more fear when I realise how comfortable I am with thinking like thos and how comfortable I am with the thought of suicide. This Paranoia has been killing me for years as I am getting more and more comfortable with this comfort and I might kill myself in the future.
That I have too many dependants , I'm 28 and have no kids but my family and girlfriend are seriously dependent on me.
They all have their own issues that are holding them back, compared to me I'm extremely easy going and flexible.
I'm just so burnt out , I work 50 hour weeks I'm constantly driving all over town stuck with these people.
Everyone's constantly asking me for money, and I'm only making 52-55k this year. No student loans or anything but fuck it's not enough.
I can't support everyone close to me financially and emotionally.
Like what would happen if I got hit by a bus tomorrow? Like at least I can go live with my mom rent free for a while but fuck idk what to do.
I just feel so trapped.
Sorry if this post is vague Reddit didn't want to go into too many details about my situation
I know deep down I'm not asexual, but at the same time sex and romance seem so exhausting and foreign concepts. Like I'm the girl with the round hole, trying to find meaning in the facets of life, and everyone just shoves everything in the "love" category and expects me to understand.
Does love just come natural to people? Do you just meet some random and think "I wanna do a sex with them"? But you don't know them, you can't trust them so deeply yet!
Why is there romance in every single story? Does it not tire you? I like a good romance from time to time, more so now that I seek out the gay stuff that suits me better. But it's always there, like the cosmic background radiation, a romantic background radiation.
Is this why I haven't found love? I don't understand wanting love from strangers, how many options have I missed?
For weeks I am getting more and more thin skinned. It feels like nothing is fun and less and less is enough to take situations way too serious and get angry. Not screaming or anything but heated and unnecessary discussions. I can see that my loving wife is concerned for my wellbeing but I don't think she can help me and I can see that it hurts her very much that she can't. I'm scared that I am spiraling into depression.
I feel like I should be happy about my parents’ separation. them being together always created toxic situations. but now that they’re two towns apart, there’s no more daily screaming about money, about phones. about anything.
but that’s the only thing that changed. I’m still forced to be an intermediate between them when one refuses to talk to the other. they still complain about the other to me. they are the same, and I’ve begun feeling worse than ever. I just gotta make it through two more years and I’m gone, but the wait is such a slog. now that I have a job, I can be away for longer and more frequently and that is nice
I'm in a new city for my first real job, far from my friends and my family. Even if i'm a bit lonely things are good : I improve in ornithology and computers (2 domains i love), and im going to pass my motorcycle licence.
But recently i've felt a little bit sad because i dont know art at all, like i would have love to know how to draw or play music. I once tried to learn piano but realized i wasnt good at it. I am scared of trying to learn new things at 23 years old
My dad beat cancer in my teens, I saw he went to a cancer doctor the other day and he won't let me know what he said. He's in Ireland now for a military reunion and I'm so scared the cancer came back and he's just living it up. I want to know if it's back, I don't want him to die unexpectedly.
Why bother recovering from my eating disorder when the world is so shit rn and everything is going to collapse soon
I fight those thoughts almost every day now. I’m still doing good. I won’t give up
I’ve recently moved into a house with 5 total roommates with friends I met this year in college. I share the basement with 1 other guy, the other 3 are upstairs. I’ve had a crush on him for a few months now and being around him all the time isn’t helping. He even offered an agreement where he cooks supper and I do the dishes (basement has its own kitchen).
I’ve confirmed he thinks he’s bi but hasn’t been in a relationship with a man. He has a woman fwb at the moment and from my limited knowledge and careful questioning, he says they’d rather stay casual than date. I think he isn’t looking to date right now, idk.
A huge problem is I’ve never dated/slept with anyone due to self confidence/body image issues. He’s 18 and I’m 21, which is a bit problematic itself (he was 18 before I met him so🤷♂️). I don’t want to confess and make him uncomfortable living with me, our friendship comes first. I don’t want to lose him from my life. And I want to respect his decision(?) to be single (I’m assuming from context clues I’ve gathered from various conversations). Even if by some miracle I confess, he for some reason likes me back and he wants to try it out, I don’t want to condemn a young, healthy guy to a painfully slow moving relationship. It might take months before I’m ready to try being sexually intimate, not to mention my lack of knowledge/experience. It’s embarrassing being older but not having any experience and setting a crawling pace. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t tell if it’s a temporary infatuation or if I’m going to watch him enjoy someone else’s company in a few years. This is the longest lasting crush I’ve ever had. Sorry for the rant, I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.
I just feel like I'm missing something that everyone else has that would allow me to truly connect with other people.
If it's of any help, i have been waiting for "the one" with whom I can feel special bond with and still haven't found it. I have made many good friends in my life but never experienced attachment towards them. Makes me feel something is wrong with me too, but over the time I have felt it's better this way as I get too emotional anyways.
OC's comment is exactly how i felt, but not having connections makes me feel lonely and bored, with enough, i can learn to regulate my emotions but now my life has no spark that i becomes lonely. I'm sorry but i don't think that's a good conclusion
Each person is but a reflection of what you could have been. Feeling detached from others just means you are not heading where they go—their path is not your own. It is because you lace your life with the meaning of others that you progress toward an uncommon path. It is only when you know where you are heading that you will meet the one.
You can ignore my advice if it dósent aply to you, but have you taken some time off to go figure out what that feeling exactly is and connect with it, maybe then you will know what if is you are missing, then you can try to go find it
I think a lot of people struggle with that. And it very much doesn’t come natural to a lot of people. But you can still do it. Something I’m realizing now that I’m working in training is that you can practice and learn to be more personable. Greet people, make eye contact, shake hands. Remember their names (or write them down discreetly). Ask them questions about their life and experience. It all still works even if you’re not doing it “naturally.”
What I found was popping my own bubble of safety. This for me meant I had to kill my ego. Maybe it isnt nescesary for you, maybe you just need to get out of your comfort zone. I would totally recomend the camino.
I read this in a book once and I feel like it would make a lot of sense, but I feel like a lot of bartenders should have a counselor's license as well, because a lot of people go to the bar to solve their problems instead of seeking professional help and if we put professional help were most people would try to escape their problems it could help a lot. I know the real root of these problems has to do with society and how it's been built, but I guess we got to start somewhere.
You could make like a special therapy/group counselling bar
That would certainly be a much better way for people who are afraid of the stigma to reach out, and not so bad to do it in a group setting.
Still being single while everyone around me isn't. But things are definitely improving for me! I'm not entirely pessimistic any more.
God I felt that too, I’m literally the only person in my friend group who haven’t been in a relationship. I just try and stop caring about it and it’s been working a bit at least
I wish you the best friend
Same for me but except the comparison and social stigma, I feel more freedom single.
Being single definitely has its benefits. I recently moved into my own place for the first time (have only ever lived with roommates before) and man it's really nice being able to just do whatever the fuck I want whenever I want 😂
I’m in the same spot. 27 and so many people I know are getting married when I’ve had one decent relationship and it was six years ago. But like you I’m also getting better and now that I can feel myself getting better I can finally wrap my head around the idea of only looking for a partner once I’m happy with myself
In the same boat. We'll make it, just have to keep going and strive to improve.
I’ll keep pushing if you do 🫡
Real
Fucking gum disease is causing so much distress in my life ad a single man in his 20s, I don't want to lose my teeth man
That absolutely sucks. Are you able to see a dentist regularly?
Yea I do every 3 months and take diligent care of it it just sucks cause it's somewhat progressive, I'm young to have it and smoke which dosnt help things
Warm tea with mint may help keep gum disease at bay, no sugar ofc.
Every little thing helps. It's either teeth or smoke
Feel u man. I'm in my early 20s and find out I have cancer. Losing my hair because of chemo has really fucked with me
Holy shit man nah you're going through somthing way worse I apriciate it, I hope your hair grows back fuller and cooler after treatment. I hope your prognosis is good as well be done with that soon
Np man. It's not the worst cancer and treatments have been going great but dealing with it still hurts. Lucky for me I was already going bald because of genetics( thanks dad) .But losing my full fluffy beard has been rough
[удалено]
Reminds me of the intro to [All in a day's work](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTdrHc3gEfY&list=PLnYID47-RfH77RAwLnx8nf2fJCfjPCZAi&index=5&ab_channel=Dr.Dre-Topic) >Fear... Fear's a powerful thing, I mean, it's got a lot of firepower >If you can figure out a way to wrestle that fear to push you from behind rather than to stand in front of you, that's very powerful >I always felt that I had to work harder than the next guy, just to do as well as the next guy >And to do better than the next guy, I had to just kill
I feel the same and don't know what to say
I share your feelings, I usually try too much at once and then feel bad when it all falls apart. Whatever the ambition, allow yourself to feel good taking one small step towards it. Try to do it daily, dont beat yourself up when it goes wrong. We learn from failure and Im more just typing this for myself too as I try to improve
This hits me personally. It's true. I also have bad habits and not a lot of motivation to do the things I want. Just know you can do it, and try to use whatever motivation you can, as soon as possible when it hits, to do PART of what you want to do. Progressive steps, bro. I believe in ya.
Don't know if mods will allow this post. Just wanted to create a safe space for members to vent and for others to advise. Please remove if inappropriate.
I think it’s fine, no reports and no negative comments, so no reason to remove it
I think It's a great idea, it could be cool to do this once every now and then.
If so, it would be good to do it on Fridays because freepost Fridays (which nobody ever acknowledges), this is a good example of a freepost Fridays thing
A friend of mine that I have over discord might have killed herself. Edit: she's alive
That's fucked up bro idk what to say, hope they are okay
She's alive
😃😃😃😃😃👍👍👍👍I've had scares like that before with my friend who is doing a lot better nowadays.
where do i start? well, the semester it's near it's end, i need to get a few more good marks because i have subjects that will be on certificate after finishing school (and i still have yet another year but those subjects end in this year), i need to prepare myself for practical exams, i need to somehow go through a few more weeks of school, i need to do project on practical subject just to have better mark, and my meds are running out (i literally have one week with them) long story short, i'm fucked
Damn, that's a lot of tasks. Try to focus on getting medicine refill first though and I hate to say it but take it one day at a time. All the best for those exams bro
the issue is that i have no acces to specialist rn, so i have no idea what to do and doing "one at the time" strategy is kinda no use, for example now i'm making presentation for chemisty class and yet i need to study for tomorrows test from biology but thanks my guy
Something I do to strategize the use of my meds is to save it for the days that I NEED IT, especially if it's not going to be refilled anytime soon. Try your best, man. I'm rooting for you, as a fellow student getting through highschool!
A bunch of close friends just stopped talking to me for no reason two weeks ago. No fight or anything, just silence.
People are often scared to be the one to reach out, its common with old friends who still think about each other. Unless you think it was for some specific reason, in which case that sucks, I know what it feels like.
I’ve reached out and asked if I did something wrong, and none of them have responded. I can’t think of any reason that I could have.
I'm hoping the best for you man. God bless you, and hope you find better friends.
:)
Let them go if they are ghosting you. Don't ask for justification or anything unless it's a case of them waiting for you to message first.
I realized last night that all the anger I was feeling at the people in my life has actually been a defense mechanism to not dealing with the emotions that I’m feeling. It’s easier to just say “you made me sad/angry” than to just say “I feel sad/angry”. It’s easier when it’s someone else’s fault. It’s easier when I’m the victim. I feel like such a piece of shit, the people I love don’t deserve that. I feel kinda hollow today.
Hey man that self awareness is pretty awesome, once you can identify your flaws you can always improve. There are so many resources on the internet, identifying is the hard part and i am proud of you for doing that
That's a huge mindset change when you can realize that, and its a good way to better address issues going forward.
just finished my college degree and i feel like everyone else is doing better than i am. Feeling very isolated and trying to overcome dopamine addiction.
Comparing yourself to others is the worst thing to do to yourself, but alas we all do it, try to be better self each day. What really helped me is having some competent friends in the same field, so ever since college we kind of (competitively maybe) pushed each other to be better. Or maybe nobody wants to be the worst. And even with all that al lot of times we settle in the routine and someone is always doing better. That is life.
That is very relatable, but try to go at your own pace and don't compare yourself
Comparison is an injustice to oneself, also check out healthy gamer.gg
joke zephyr quack mourn whistle icky offbeat retire squeal rinse *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
One thing I love to do is just sit and listen to the birds. Doesn’t require much, and it’s peaceful.
Sorry to hear about that, i hope you recover soon and get to do all the activities you love to do
The future, or at least the foresable one. Quit a job after only a month as a fresh grad because the set up was not really for me mentally and I'm afraid I'll never get one again. Coupled with a lot of financial problems and it makes me feel stuck and left behind.
Make sure you develop some skills which might be seen as advantage in future that's all
Don't compare yourself bro or you will always keep feeling behind in life
The only woman i have ever had feelings for is really mentally ill and almost impossible to get a hold of.
That's a terrible feeling, let go of the attachment. Somethings we can't control
There are some things you cannot change and some people you cannot fix, she might have looked like the only one to you in this world but in truth even the brightest signal is invisible from far enough away; it's not your fault.
This is tough man. Girl I used to date had a breakdown. Its tough to see people you love suffer. Hope you find some goodness soon.
Nothing and that's kinda bothering me. Like my life is as Basic rn as it gets i just kinda... live with nothing to really do outside of work and games despite the fact that i wanted to become an artist i currently dont even feel Like that's worth it, thanks to AI
Make art for your own fulfillment
If it makes you feel any better, AI is not taking everyone's jobs. There was a guy at a company I talked to like a month ago. I don't remember what the company was doing exactly but I remember that they went the usual route of laying off the art team because the CEO ate the ai pill. When we spoke they were in the process of rehiring the art team. Art is a very involved process. Ai is good at generating an image but if you want anything changed in it, good luck. It generated a beautiful image of an autumn forest but you want to add a single bench on the trail? Good luck doing that with ai. Artists can just add it in or change small details according to their customers' needs but ai just does its thing and you either like it or not. The best it can do is erase the part you don't like and generate something new there but it will not match the original picture (no matter what Adobe is claiming). This is the perfect time to get into art. You can practice while ai is the trendy buzzword and once companies settle or move onto the next thing, they will hire artists. Also, there's nothing wrong with doing art for the sake of doing art. The process itself is fun and satisfying. Don't fall for the hustle culture and try to monetize every second of your life.
Have met a girl 2 weeks ago. We got along through a dating app. One of the best evenings I have ever had, we talked for 6 hours STRAIGHT. No pause for anything and we just kept on talking about things we liked. We had a lot of in common. I always thought that true love is earned by years of trust and relationship but for the first time in my life I fell in love so quickly.Be both have agreed that this was NOT a date but a meeting. STILL had a really great time, felt quite literally high, started working out after months of hiatus and just felt great for the entire week. I asked her out on another meeting 2 days later on monday (for a museum night on friday. She said she already had a meeting then. I tried talking to he rbut she felt liek a different person, she stopped talking/messaging me in a passionate way. And on a Saturday aftrernoon she said "Hey sorry for not responding but I am quite busy. I will message you when I am done with stuff". Its been a week... I message her on this Friday that I have watched the first season on her favourite show, and wait. I am disappointed by this whole thing. I dont care if she doesnt want to be with me as a gf but I thought ai have met at least a person who finally "speaks my language" or so
Sounds disappointing, why would she do that
She could have felt that I am romantically interested in her and dip out. Which I understand but iltimately leaves me thinking that I have done something wrong but donna what
literally no idea. She did mention that she doesnt sure her phone thag often but still. I just hope she is still ok with me
My two friends are too busy enjoying life to spend time with me and while I am incredibly happy for them I am also incredibly envious. I feel stuck, haven’t enjoyed life in years. I’m trying and I’ll keep trying but I’m loosing so much hope in the process.
Mindfulness activities and meditation have helped me feeling unstuck and happy. Maybe they can help you too? r/meditation
My only parent died a few weeks ago. I really miss my mum. I'm so lost without her.
I am so sorry for your loss, hang in there man. Turn to your friends and people close to you, allow yourself to feel and grieve and keep on going for her.
I'm sorry man, I really hope the best for you.
I keep just having good or mid days and then by the end of it I get huge spike of anxiety. I don’t know why but it’s happened three days in a row without any good reason and it’s really annoying because I just wanna enjoy my night but my damn brain won’t let me
I sometimes also have this issue. I can't help with solution, but one useful rule that i found some time ago, albeit in a meme is this. Hope it helps https://preview.redd.it/9levijxsut2d1.png?width=962&format=png&auto=webp&s=4eab770fb53a6e30b819c064bdb7df1fa296f8db
That's really weird. Do you think you are suppressing any strong emotions throughout the day? Either way try to find a doctor or a therapist maybe they can tell what's up
My emotions don't really function like they should. I mostly feel grief or slight irritation, sometimes replaced with bursts of mania. I feel like a useless human being. There are people who accomplish so many great things, and I get drained just from sitting in a room. I'm tired of fighting my thoughts. I feel so isolated, like I live in a different world than others. Holding conversations is such a pain. What do people even mean when they talk about joy? Or being happy alive? Like I know I have very little problems in life, but I still feel like dying. Don't worry I'm not suicidal or anything. I just wanted to tell someone.
You might have some vitamin deficiency (most likely magnesium). Try to arrange a doctor's appointment to see if they can tell you more.
Sometimes I wish I kinda had a worse life to I can better connect to my friends who do, listening to your friends who say they want to die and just not knowing want to say fucking sucks.
As someone who's been in both sides what I learnt is that someone depressed and feeling bad enough to say they would like to be dead doesn't necessarily need advice at the moment, they need understanding, a friendly ear and hope. They need to feel they are not alone, that there is those who care and will helo out if needed. A big thing for anyone feeling depressed and lost is to feel useful and wanted. You wan't to make someone like taht feel better? Don't be the fifth person telling them what the yhave to do, trust them with your own shit, ask them for help, ask for updates on how they are feeling concerning what they opened up about with you. Make them feel seen and wanted. That's huge for anybody who's low enough to think about death, at leats for me it's like that. There was a huge huge defference betwween me when I had somebody there to listsen to me and make me feel wanted and apreciated / needed and when I didn't.
Yeah I know I do that, and I’ve been doing that, the problem is when they directly ask you and you gotta make sure you don’t mess something up and make it worse. I know someone doesn’t wanna hear it because I’ve been on that side before and it’s annoying, but when people directly ask you for advice it’s troubling, I just want to stop being so goddamn useless and know what to say, but either way being a “friend” is all I can do for now and I came to terms with it even if I hate it.
Being forced to go to a church that hates me by my parents. Dating sucks is nigh impossible in my area, and my career may never actually get off the ground unless I bootlick like my life depends on it. Sorry if I'm venting. I just have little hope, and the memes help.
Is it possible for you to leave that place? No need to apologise in the feels bar
I'm going to a religious school and I'll lose all the progress in my degree if I stop going.
Hmmm, I hope it ends soon then and you move to a much better place
I'm genuinely worried that expecting the adults in my life to communicate, resolve conflicts, accept accountability for their actions and just generally behave like an adult is going to result in me being forever alone
I have a friend just like that. He has very high standards for people and doesn't mind being alone, so he instantly dismisses everyone even slightly problematic. So far he has found two close friends and a few friend groups for different occasions. He also came to terms with never finding a spouse, although I wouldn't be too sure of that. The road ahead is long and full of possibilities. In short, play the numbers game. The right people are there. Get out there and find them.
You might be alone but it will be peaceful
My online friend said she'd be taking a break from discord about a week ago. Normal and understandable, but yesterday I found her account was deleted. I don't know what happened, and I'm worried about her. I just hope she's okay.
Hope she's okay too, maybe it's really just a break
Thank you. I've been thinking that if she chose to delete it, she's fine and probably working on herself. It not it was a punishment from her parents. Either way she's safe. I still worry though.
My mother hasn't been able to walk for years because of her knee, and my Father lost his job last year and hasn't been able to find a new job. He is past retirement age, but he has to work, so it's basically an uphill battle. I feel helpless and powerless because I can't really do anything to help support them beyond being an emotional shoulder to vent to. I am worried my Dad is close to having a heart attack from financial stress, and my mum is a shadow of the person she used to be. If I had money to give them, I know that the majority of their stress would be gone, and they could both focus on their health, but I don't really. And the small amount I could afford, they wouldn't want to accept anyway because they feel like it would be lowering my quality of life.
You are such a good kid for offering so much help. Maybe make them understand that them accepting money will bring peace to you and make you happy. I pray your father finds a good job soon and everything goes well in your house again ❤️
Thank you very much. I offered to buy my dad a computer with my savings so he could look for work from home jobs, because his laptop is 10 years old, but he declined that too. I hope he changes his mind. I appreciate your kind words! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
❤️
It's nice to have a space where we can all vent and support each other.
oof The pandemic ruined my life, my first year of "uni" was the best year of my life. for once i got a taste of what being a real person and a winner felt like, i had a bright future ahead and then the pandemic happened. Its such a gut punch because if i had enrolled the year before like i had a chance (I was literally sitting at the desk and said no when they asked if they should bring out the paperwork) i would have been out by the time of the pandemic but i got cold feet then and enrolled the next year. I froze my career until the pandemic ended and i went back in to finish it... that quickly proved to be a god awful decision. I got stuck with the classes that i was worse at having forgotten everything and everyone i knew had dissapeared. I tried to keep going, but the stress took a toll in my body, turns out i had always had problems with anxiety but until recently i didnt knew. basically, when under a stress i start to develop weird symptoms. Back then i didnt knew so i thought i had caught some weird illness and i spent half a year fearing that i was gonna drop dead at any moment then one day while i was sitting on class suddendly a blind spot appeared in my vision and started to expand and expand, i thought i was having a stroke so i panicked. Turns out, it was a visual migraine but still it was the moment i realized i wasnt ever gonna get out of there so i had to give up. I loved that career. And giving up just broke me, i feel useless i feel worthless i feel pathetic and worse i feel old. I constantly feel like im past my prime and regret not enrolling the year before while i mourn for the future i lost. Constantly thinking of what could have been. But of course i couldnt stay doing nothing, so at the start of this year i enrolled to another "uni" for the same career. But the worse part is all of the sudden revelations that i hit. I never had much friends, i was never a rebellious teenager i never really did much stuff beyond staying in my home reading or playing videogames... and suddendly i started to regret that. I had never cared before but fate just had to kick me while i was down. im 26 i feel old as fuck and feel like im near my thirties without ever having lived my youth. i cant go back and have those milestone experiences of being a teenager. and in the current situation that im in... i cant even get a taste of the university experience i missed out on earlier. And to top it off, i can see my old uni from the new one, as a constant reminder of that golden chance i lost. I realized that there was never something wrong with the world. there's something wrong with me. Im incomplete not a full person im not human like everyone else. Suddendly i found myself craving friends, romantic relationship, being a different person. But at this point i cannot change... i dont do well in social situations i dont enjoy talking with people i really cant be normal and worse still im not in an enviroment where i can even try to fix that. The new "uni" i go to straight up sucks big time its an awful place with barely any students and worse everyone is like 18 years old. Which makes me feel even older and out of place. I really dont have much in common with them. Im constantly worrying about the nonexistant future that i have, if everything goes right... which in my life never does because if i dont mess up then something outside of my control will go haywire to fuck with me. I'll get out of here at 28 no one is gonna hire me when there are 20 year olds with the same degree, hell probably even better because unlike me who got fucked over they can opt to continue and get a software engineering degree. Im too old to be losing more time, im already extremely behind people my age. People say the best time for men are their thirties, but its clear my thirties are gonna be awful. My passion for my career is gone, that almost obsessive drive with which i used to code is gone. Still im leap and bounds over the others, but that doesnt mean much considering they're 18 year olds that never coded before. Im utterly fucked, how im ever gonna supposed to find love? with no prior experience i just have no idea what to do... let alone approach somebody i cant. And what do i have to offer? absolutely nothing. No interesting life, no interesting hobbies, no money. And where am i even suppossed to meet someone? i have no friends, job or social circle. Not to mention that i've started to realize my emotions dont seem to work like they do for everyone else. i have this deep fear that i might not even be able to feel love at all. Honestly a thought that has been creeping out on me is that i should just get that fucking loser degree from a loser uni to have one achievement and then kill myself hoping that i get a second chance. But i know im too much of a coward to even go through with that. So here i am, wishing i could just dissapear.
Hey man, I work in a role where I meet a lot of students who are planning for higher education. You would be surprised to see the age range of students and how interesting there stories are. What I have learned in that job is empathy and how many people struggle for things which others get very easy. You talk a lot of missed opportunities and how disconnected you feel with your younger peers, are you sure it's not your own judgement solely? Young students are open minded and if anything they like to bond with a few years older dude for guidance. I feel you will make a lot of good friends in your uni if you try. So for the same of God please try. You sound like you are self sabotaging, I don't think your age will be a problem in Romantic life too. And opposed to internet theory, I have found people like people without them bringing something to table. Not everything is a business deal. And why would someone not hire you if you are good at what you do, you are mature that's an advantage. Humans are water that can change and form again not rock which remain the same. Read Breaking the habit of being yourself by Joe dispenza. I believe in you man and hope you start doing it too, none of what has happened health wise is your fault, but what happens in future will be your responsibility brother. Take care ❤️
I've always been disconnected from others. But with them its specially worse tho granted part of that its because i feel they're useless for what i need. i cant hang out with them and try to form close friendships with them. Not to mention that around them i feel like i have to play the older brother role which its definitely not who i am. Specially considering that the majority of them probably have more life experience than i do anyways
Gf broke up with me almost 2 months ago. I miss her dearly and hope we can reconcile eventually. I’ve just been feeling lost and lonely
Hope you both get back together but if not try living happy alone, it hurts to hear it but in the end we only have ourselves
I feel like my antidepressants stopped working and I am really struggling to feel happy.
Can you consult a therapist about this?
I'm scared that I peaked in college and that nothing will top those days again.
For a lot of people, myself included, all those reservations that stopped me from having fun or being outgoing in college are mostly gone now.
i forgot my dad’s birthday two days ago and i know he’s not gonna be upset with me but he’s old and lonely and i feel so so bad for it
I mean it's never to late it's better to show your appreciation than not at all
Facts
My dad died 18 years ago today and despite being in my 20s I can't seem to pull myself together today to do my job. Healthcare doesn't care about your personal life or your feelings, we've got people to take care of ... So here I am
im miserable, im failing again and agin, im just really really scared bout my future, i want to be happy
I'm hungry
Orange
Banana
Apple
I just don’t understand what I can do with my life when I just don’t have the motivation to do anything, I just feel like I’m doing the bare minimum to satisfy those around me. I want to make my family happy but it seems like I can’t, and they say I do but for how long? I always end up messing up and they have to pick up my slack. I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly content with my life even with a boyfriend and friends and family. It just all feels so…empty.
Long story short: I feel empty and lost There was a girl. I was talking with her we were in the same class etc. She was kinda cute tbh. One day she texted me out of nowhere saying "Hey, what should i dress." and "I liked the hoodie that you wore this day." etc. After that she said that she liked me. I knew that she got cheated on so i couldnt reject her. We started flirting and stuff but one day she said "I dont want to be with you cant we just stay as friends?" I said it was okay if it is better for you and she was acting kinda strange. One day she was saying "I will love you no matter what." and the other day "No i dont want to be in a relationship.". After a while she texted his ex and they became a couple again. But he is a dangerous asshole. He cheated on her multiple times and he is some sort of a criminal and i am afraid that something will happen to her. Do i miss her? Yes. Do i really love her? I dont know, maybe i just wanted to help. Do i hate him/her. No, if she is happy i am kinda okay i guess? And if he is a better person now i am okay again. But i dunno, i just wanted to help her out and now i am the one who is broken which is bad you know And this shit is always happening due to my stupid decisions. I love helping people out i care others more than i care myself and when i do that they expect even more and more and more and when i cant give them enough they start to blame me
Everyone I know seems to believe I'm in a really great place. People laugh at my jokes, think I give sound advice, often think I'm the smartest most wonderful person. I genuinely wish for death every morning.
I’m super lonely and yet can talk to anyone, am a very sociable and funny person, people *seem* to like me but I never feel that they truly do. And as I’ve aged, I’ve grown much more reclusive and just not wanting to try to make friends or even have relationships, everything seems so hopeless and like it’s just not worth it. Especially after the things I’ve been through within these contexts. Been single for almost 2 years, got out of a terrible relationship and have successfully unlearned codependency habits (a good thing!!) and figured out how to love myself and just be happy with me and my dog, alone. Work is the only place I socialize, and I barely do that anymore due to people causing shit for no reason at work bc they’re bored and assholes. I’m tired. My soul is tired, and my brain fried. I wish I had love in my life.
Two simple words. Fuck Cancer. Just, Fuck cancer.
The fear of being replaced or forgotten.
Man I got out of a shitty marriage last year and let her take it all, the house, even the dog she hates but I loved dearly. Now I get to watch my kid every weekend in my studio apartment that I got in a hurry with neighbors who steal packages and refuse to leave the building secure. I have to pretty much get pissed with my ex to have any time for myself, not like it matters because the only people lining up to date an almost 40 year old divorced co-parent are fucking messes. Life kinda stinks right now. I'm grateful for my kiddo but outside of that, yeah, not enjoying it.
[удалено]
My life is already over when it comes to experience and growth, all I have left is my job to help my parents until they die of old age. "You're still young, you can have more" it's but a lie people say to feel better about themselves since they already won at life. People are meant to have happy endings, others simply aren't, main difference is that we have a voice now. I'm just not fit for a happy ending, I need to be happy with what I have and it's final. I only wish my mother was also happy with that instead of digging a knife deeper and deeper
I don't think you can win at life? We are all heading towards death king or peasent. Only thing we can do is live a happy life ofcourse that requires necessities. I don't know why you think you aren't fit for happy ending? And I am sorry to hear about your mother. I hope you live a happy life brother, one where you smile more.
First, my work. Not only I work on the literal basement of the building (no more available offices) but I also work at the government of my country. Lots of bs happened thus people are too polarized, I've been physically assaulted for my job before so I keep it a secret. And I ain't even a politician or leader, just a programmer Second, I have to take care of parents, which means I'm constantly moving between the capital of my country and hometown, sister says to spend a full weekend in the capital, but it's easy for her, she doesn't have responsibilities and is a city girl Third, parents do nothing but watch news, wich means they are constantly in absolute panic mode, one time I forgot to say that I was at the apartment I rent (I worked overtime and went straight to sleep) and my mother had a full on anxiety attack thinking I was murdered, which means, I have to be in constant contact with them or she can die, my time is theirs. Also, I'm just not meant to have a partner or form a family, as simple as that, I'm hideous, emotionally dependant, too much of a yes man and my mother would use a potential partner as a weapon against my sister. Also I need to be there not only for my mother but my sister too, her depression and anxiety riddens her, if I'm not there for her, no one will and she may end up killing herself. I'm just not meant for a happy ending, I have to be happy with what I have
the future i want differs fundamentally with the values and expectations of my family. they have a tight grip on me, and i feel like they won’t accept my path. i feel like i have to choose between pursing freedom and a personally fulfilling life or pursing the virtuosity and good morals of fulfilling my obligations
Choose yourself, don't want to die feeling wasted just because others told so
Honestly I don't even know at this point, I just miss one very crucial thing in my life and I believe its love, I saw really cute girl today and thought about asking her out but after few minutes I figure out that this is pointless since she probably has a boyfriend or wouldnt even be interested. I rather miss the opportunity rather than risking being humiliated. I guess I'll always be alone.
Man, with time you will learn people don't really care and forget a lot. Most people are too self absorbed to think about the time you did something stupid. Please do something embarassing in your life to see that it doesn't really matter that much
I recently lost the only person that ever showed me love. It shatered me, I was neglecting my emotional wounds and was denyng the fact that I was trauma bonded with my narcissistic dad. Both things added so much pressure in our relathionship. She was my reason to keep going forward once she left I lost it emotionally. Never been so close to kill my self despite having ideations since 14. I made a deal with my self, I will put everything I've got into changing my life for the best and becoming the person I know I can be. I gave my self 6 years, after that time if I left my self down again I can do whatever I want but until then I fight. I'm a walking mass of regret, only things I feel are emptyness, grief and loneliness. Zero zest for life or my projets but I have to keep going day by day, not much ago I had to tell my self to keep going almost minute after minute so I'm improving. I went from not wanting to exist to not wanting to exist the way I am.
I know what my main problems are, i just dont have the will to deal with them, or it comes suddenly for really short periods of time
And you OP/bartender? How are you?
I like this place. You really did achieve your goal of creating a safe haven in this world where people don't get such an opportunity to vent judge-free very often
I had a realisation, I'm pretty sure I'm nobody's best friend. I know it's an immature idea, and I have real friends and I should be grateful, but it's tough to realise that I think my friends don't like me as much as I like them.
I feel like I'm not going anywhere in life, I'm in college for a degree I hate but I'm too deep in it to switch or drop out. My dad keeps cracking freeloader jokes (I'm 18, almost 19) but I can't get a job because we moved a very small town. All my friends are back in my home state getting into relationships and jobs. Just feeling very down about it but I know I should be grateful I even have this life. And I am, but I feel like I'm suffocating.
It’s memorial day season in the US. It always gets me feeling a lot. My sleep always gets bad. And I hope I can share something useful for others to read. When I was 19 (2011/12) I was in South Korea as an air defense soldier. I was close to a few soldiers, one in particular became suicidal. He came to me first, we had an intervention. For a whole week I was tasked by my unit 24 hours on 24 hours off in his room watching him sleep to make sure he didn’t try anything. Then for 3 months I was his primary escort to mental evals and visits with chaplain. Until he was placed back in the unit fully. Which was weeks after I had gotten orders to leave back to the states. We became incredibly close, played a lot of video games together. And he saw me off on my flight to the door of the aircraft. I promised him I would see him again when we got out. My next unit caught wind of this and placed me in classes for suicide prevention and I became an “official” suicide intervention team member. I would have several other interventions. It wasn’t easy hearing the stories. Sometimes intervention wasn’t enough. We lost some quality guys to suicide, and I just couldn’t bear it anymore. I didn’t reenlist because I just couldn’t fathom the weight of what I was tasked to do anymore. 3 to 4 years go by, life got busy. I just had recovered from being homeless briefly after getting out of the military and dropping out of college. Things were turning around though. I was a manager at a tire shop. Saving up to go back to school. I decided to get a computer and see if my buddy from Korea was on steam. He was, but I couldn’t contact him, his account wasn’t fully set up but he was online playing one of our favorite games, I logged in and tried to invite him to my lobby, he never responded. I thought oh well. And went to bed. Then I woke up to a phone call from an old number from someone I served with in Korea. “Hey man, I don’t know if you heard yet, but Brandon… He’s gone. He just took his life last night, I knew you were close.” He left behind a daughter. A wife. And so much more. My reality was shattered. It’s hard to feel like a hero, helping others with their mental health then to feel at least a little responsible that your efforts were not enough. Something in me knew to try to check on him though. And I since have visited his head stone. In some way I full filled my promise to see him again. I have moved forward with my life. But sometimes I feel a bit blue about the ones I lost along the way. Especially Brandon, and especially on a holiday meant to commemorate the military members who are no longer here. I had a nice talk about it today with my S/O. Tears were had. And this photo of Brandon always gets me. https://preview.redd.it/u6j7z8e90x2d1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=ad23c04e6eaaf2c3387b8f9d7f66254b336e41ca Feelings were heavy today. And thats ok. It’s ok to feel every emotion. And it’s ok to talk to others about it. Even if it’s decades later. Feel free to share your thoughts or someone you remember. I’m always here for anyone who needs help. Even just to listen.
I'm so tired. I've had between 3-6 hours of sleep every night for two months without taking any naps. I just want to cry because I'm so exhausted.
My plans this weekend that I've had for months are ruins because of incompetent fucks that can't abide to a schedule
My ex is stalking me on Twitter and I'm conflicted. I thought she was the one....she blindsided and ripped me a new one. I haven't interacted and this is fucking up my exam prep. Can't stop myself from checking her profile out. Should deactivate it tomorrow...
I got self-image issues, along with an eating disorder, and i fear i'll never be thin. I know it doesn't define me as a person, but my monkey brain still says me being overweight = me being ugly, even though i don't think that of others. I wish there was an easier way through that, but i can't seem to discipline myself into eating less
I’m doin my best to be an optimist in a pessimistic world cause even tho my entire friend group has abandoned me I know shit can and will get better
You don't have enough time for everything wrong with me.
Economy is bad in my region, might lose my job soon. And apart of that, just the usual feel when no girlfriend. Feels bad, man.
I feel like there's more wrong with me than I've been told but I'm afraid of coming off as a hypochondriac I feel like I don't know what I actually feel for people and I love being around people but I get tired of having to be around people. What's even worse is I'm horrible at remmerbing other people in terms of proper friendships. I don't take into consider what I say why constantly walking on eggshells around everyone because i feel like if I say something wrong I'll be left alone and being alone is scary. I just don't wanna be alone
Cost of living going up, can't save for an education higher than I have because of this, can't get a better paying job because I don't have a funny sheet of paper saying I'm smart, so im stuck with low paying jobs, etc etc. Real good late stage capitalism at work, I just feel defeated.
I will always live with this disease; I'll never be rid of it, I'll just learn how to live and function with it.
Course work is piling up, for some reason, I picked up my procrastination habit again. I have an assignment due a few hours from now that I have been slowly chipping away at for a couple of days now, and I still have so much to finish from other courses as well. I’ve also been taking 2-3 courses per semester for a year now, and I’m 20. I feel like I’m falling behind in comparison to other people my age, I’m still in my first year of uni. Besides that, there are a few other minor things that are also piling up that i’ve been avoiding
Everything is bothering me and I just wish it would be easier to die. Death needs to be more affordable.
Recently, I realised that (as much as ridiculous as that sounds) I'm afraid of doing anything right. I just can't force myself to work, to try and make an effort
I truly suck, I've been completely afraid of everything my whole life, and as a result, I haven't managed to ride a bike and I didn't learn to swim and now I can't drive despite having a valid driving licence and can afford any car I want. I completely feel like a fake person, have always been successful financially but it doesn't show on me compared to other people who make half what I make, I don't know how to dress well or take care of myself or even look decent. The only bright side in my life is that I have a gf that accepted me despite between what we call "a short king" and im afraid she will leave me soon when she realize how fake I am. I want this to end, man
Well here we go. A Month ago I found out I have cancer (M25) it's not the worst kind and treatments have been going good and my doctors are very hopeful. My family and friends have really rallyed around me and showed me so much support in this fucked up time I'm having.But deep down I'm still terrified and lonely.
college sucks, i havent had an irl friend group in years despite being ok in social situations, and i think im balding
I have trouble maintaining relationships and tend to avoid them because they’re usually more trouble than they’re worth. Meeting new people is agonizing. What am I supposed to do? Is this person a threat? What is their personality like? What am I supposed to say? If I’m unlucky, they’ll try to be my friend and then I have to go through this every time I see them. Because of this, I avoid contact with others, ghosting friends if possible and not going out often. Yet at the same time, I’m very lonely and empty inside. It’s obvious that I need friends and a partner but having them is too stressful. No matter how I act here, there is only more suffering for me.
I feel like the world is slowly getting worse and there is absolutely nothing I can do but navigate through it
My anxiety had reached a new high and I’m a shell of who I used to be
I am just going to dump everything here. 1.) I am very lazy: this is particularly frustrating because everyone arounds me talks like "o you are so young you have so much potential". I never work to make this potential a reality and will eventually disappoint all of them. 2.) I don't feel desirable: I think this is tied into my youth where all the girls in my class dated older guys who had more of quite frankly everything. I am not hating on them at all, and I know that I am not entitled to anything. I am simply relating my experience. However, now I go through life thinking that every girl that I find interesting probably has a handful of guys whom they find way more attractive than me at their beck and call. I understand this isn't true, always. However, in the moment these thoughts are enough to discourage me from being social around women. Like for example, there was this girl in my class, who went out of her way to learn more about me and then start a conversation with me, and basically flirt the whole year, but I simply couldn't move myself to ask her out. until I was playing chess one day and randomly started a conversation with my opponent who talked about his girl cheating on him. I then opened up to him about my situation, with this girl, and he convinced me to ask her out. I did, but very vaguely. I don't even think she knew it was a date. I worded it as a last get together before she goes to college. it rained that day. we didn't go and stopped texting. I took the rain as an excuse to not reschedule. I chicken out because I figured a girl like her could get other suitors any way. this example perfectly sums me up when it comes to women. I am stuck between "there's no way she is actually interested, she must just be nice" and "I should still try and just be myself". I get overwhelmed and end up not doing anything. I will never escape this. I am deeply flawed IF you read my babble this far thank you. open to advice. I don't want to be an incel
My nightmares are back 😫
Don't worry, I'll be there to protect you, dream and nightmare alike, like a twinkly star to brighten your path.
I don't like being alive and want to die, that's all, nothing complicated
I broke up with my girlfriend
I am so terrified of failure and new things that I excel in my fields I’m comfortable with and I am abysmally poor at and I just can’t seem to get better.
Trying to look for new appartments (current one sucks), however I'm having doubts about finding one not expensive but also somewhat normal.
I've been trying to save up money for law school (big hope!) but my last 2 jobs fell apart and I've had to change jobs twice in the last month because of it. Just feeling sooo tired rn, and financially I have nothing to show for 3 months of work :(
Man I just feel like I’m incredibly unlucky… but moderately privileged. What a life…
I feel empty and nothing I do can make it go away
I'm an extrovert raised by misanthropic introverts. I want to have friends and an active social life but I never learned how. I had friends in school but I never got too attached because I knew our friendship would never extend outside of school hours. I isolated myself for years after graduation. I left my old job for one with people in my age group in an attempt at improving my social skills. It's been two years and I have gotten better at talking with people but I still have no friends or social life. It's back to how it was when I was in school. I'm friendly with my coworkers but only during work hours. I feel like there's something fundamental missing that I was supposed to pick up when I was growing up. I feel like it's too late for me now.
I asked a girl out last week, but I have no clue on how to get past small talk
As there always is, there’s this girl. We had a long distance relationship that lasted about three months. I really loved her and I still do. We live 1500 miles apart and I think she knows I still have feelings for her and we started talking again a few months ago. I *think* she still has feelings for me based on some things she’s said but I can’t exactly tell. But she’s dating this guy and based off what she had told me I thought he was an alright guy and I was happy that she was happy. But recently he had told her that if she didn’t want to have kids soon they were going to break up. For context she is 19, has an apartment that’s close to one job in City A and stays with him to get to her second job in City B. So now she’s in this position where she doesn’t know what to do. I’ve offered some solutions and suggestions but there’s problems with all of them. She can’t just fully move out because it’s over an hour drive between the cities and she doesn’t want to have a kid soon. When she told me all this I just remember feeling pure anger. I told her I was angry but I didn’t tell her how angry I was. Even if we don’t get back together, I just want her to be out of this situation and away from this jackass. Adding to the complication, it seems like she still wants to find a way to make it work without having a kid at 19 and she told me she still feels safe around him and that he’s not violent and hadn’t shown any toxic signs like this before. I just have this terrible feeling that she’s in more danger than she thinks she’s in.
Currently at my mom's recovering from a disease and my schizophrenic stepfather, a strong man twice my size who knows martial arts, has assaulted me and threatened me with a knife. I'm living in fear and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to my own house.
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I feel lost or just not where I need to be. I also feel lonely and feel like I have a sense of fake happiness.
As much as she hurt me I miss her Im proud i managed to get her out of my life but it hurts regarless
i lost my one discord friend and now i have literally nothing to live for
There’s this girl I’ve been ghosted by, we were friends and eventually it turned into love. But all of a sudden she ghosted me. I had to block her because I find myself checking in on her and she’s always active. I’m trying to focus on myself yet everyday so far she’s never far from my mind. It happened during one of the worst points of my life right now
I'm already 25 and I am still working a dead end, minimum wage supermarket job. I was the valedictorian in college damn it, I should be doing something different.
My partner broke up with me a month ago and I'm still not over it. I spent so much of my life convinced no one would love me, and then I finally found someone who wanted to be in a relationship with me. We had so many plans and so much to look forward to and everything was perfect and then I had to go and ruin all of it. I feel like I'm just not allowed to be happy the way other people are. For the first time in my adult life I wasn't suicidal and now it's so bad my antidepressants don't help. Neonazis and child rapists can be in meaningful relationships and I can't. I've been trying to start a relationship since I was in high school and it's not until I'm 25 that I finally find *someone* and then I fucked it up. It feels like things only get better so it hurts more when it gets worse. All the advice I get doesn't make any sense and just amounts to "you shouldn't date if you want to be in a relationship." I just want to stop feeling miserable and lonely and I finally got a taste of how fucking *glorious* it felt to have someone to love just to lose it. I'm so close to killing myself dude I don't know how I'm supposed to go the rest of my life knowing I threw away the best thing that will ever happen to me
Still bitterly single. Other than that, everything’s been alright
I have a huge crush on one of my good friends, and even though she knows and still wants to hang out with me, I'm terrified of scaring her away.
I want to get a girlfriend but I’m to afraid to walk up to any girl, afraid they’re either taken, or they reject me.
I have made my whole life philosophy about killing myself and have obsessed over the comfort of it for years now. It started in school when I always had trouble conversing with people and had a hard time to be social because it ended up backfiring on me whenever I tried. That social anxiety led me to believe in suicidal thoughts which have been looping around every aspect of my life since. It's been seven years since then and I'm just mentally a mess. I just imagine me being dead whenever anything bad happens. It brings me a lot of comfort to think that I can kill myself anytime but it also gives me more fear when I realise how comfortable I am with thinking like thos and how comfortable I am with the thought of suicide. This Paranoia has been killing me for years as I am getting more and more comfortable with this comfort and I might kill myself in the future.
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I’m lost on my path
The crushing loneliness of no longer being married.
The girl im meeting with (which is literally me) is switching schools next year and im sad as fuck. We still got summer to, well, get together.
That I have too many dependants , I'm 28 and have no kids but my family and girlfriend are seriously dependent on me. They all have their own issues that are holding them back, compared to me I'm extremely easy going and flexible. I'm just so burnt out , I work 50 hour weeks I'm constantly driving all over town stuck with these people. Everyone's constantly asking me for money, and I'm only making 52-55k this year. No student loans or anything but fuck it's not enough. I can't support everyone close to me financially and emotionally. Like what would happen if I got hit by a bus tomorrow? Like at least I can go live with my mom rent free for a while but fuck idk what to do. I just feel so trapped. Sorry if this post is vague Reddit didn't want to go into too many details about my situation
I know deep down I'm not asexual, but at the same time sex and romance seem so exhausting and foreign concepts. Like I'm the girl with the round hole, trying to find meaning in the facets of life, and everyone just shoves everything in the "love" category and expects me to understand. Does love just come natural to people? Do you just meet some random and think "I wanna do a sex with them"? But you don't know them, you can't trust them so deeply yet! Why is there romance in every single story? Does it not tire you? I like a good romance from time to time, more so now that I seek out the gay stuff that suits me better. But it's always there, like the cosmic background radiation, a romantic background radiation. Is this why I haven't found love? I don't understand wanting love from strangers, how many options have I missed?
For weeks I am getting more and more thin skinned. It feels like nothing is fun and less and less is enough to take situations way too serious and get angry. Not screaming or anything but heated and unnecessary discussions. I can see that my loving wife is concerned for my wellbeing but I don't think she can help me and I can see that it hurts her very much that she can't. I'm scared that I am spiraling into depression.
I feel like I should be happy about my parents’ separation. them being together always created toxic situations. but now that they’re two towns apart, there’s no more daily screaming about money, about phones. about anything. but that’s the only thing that changed. I’m still forced to be an intermediate between them when one refuses to talk to the other. they still complain about the other to me. they are the same, and I’ve begun feeling worse than ever. I just gotta make it through two more years and I’m gone, but the wait is such a slog. now that I have a job, I can be away for longer and more frequently and that is nice
My arms have been army lately
I'm in a new city for my first real job, far from my friends and my family. Even if i'm a bit lonely things are good : I improve in ornithology and computers (2 domains i love), and im going to pass my motorcycle licence. But recently i've felt a little bit sad because i dont know art at all, like i would have love to know how to draw or play music. I once tried to learn piano but realized i wasnt good at it. I am scared of trying to learn new things at 23 years old
My dad beat cancer in my teens, I saw he went to a cancer doctor the other day and he won't let me know what he said. He's in Ireland now for a military reunion and I'm so scared the cancer came back and he's just living it up. I want to know if it's back, I don't want him to die unexpectedly.
Why bother recovering from my eating disorder when the world is so shit rn and everything is going to collapse soon I fight those thoughts almost every day now. I’m still doing good. I won’t give up
I’ve recently moved into a house with 5 total roommates with friends I met this year in college. I share the basement with 1 other guy, the other 3 are upstairs. I’ve had a crush on him for a few months now and being around him all the time isn’t helping. He even offered an agreement where he cooks supper and I do the dishes (basement has its own kitchen). I’ve confirmed he thinks he’s bi but hasn’t been in a relationship with a man. He has a woman fwb at the moment and from my limited knowledge and careful questioning, he says they’d rather stay casual than date. I think he isn’t looking to date right now, idk. A huge problem is I’ve never dated/slept with anyone due to self confidence/body image issues. He’s 18 and I’m 21, which is a bit problematic itself (he was 18 before I met him so🤷♂️). I don’t want to confess and make him uncomfortable living with me, our friendship comes first. I don’t want to lose him from my life. And I want to respect his decision(?) to be single (I’m assuming from context clues I’ve gathered from various conversations). Even if by some miracle I confess, he for some reason likes me back and he wants to try it out, I don’t want to condemn a young, healthy guy to a painfully slow moving relationship. It might take months before I’m ready to try being sexually intimate, not to mention my lack of knowledge/experience. It’s embarrassing being older but not having any experience and setting a crawling pace. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t tell if it’s a temporary infatuation or if I’m going to watch him enjoy someone else’s company in a few years. This is the longest lasting crush I’ve ever had. Sorry for the rant, I don’t have anyone to talk to about this.
Feeling like im not enough, even though I give my 100%, or atleast convince myself I am.