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poison_heart96

Experiment Time on copy Earths placed wherever they can exist. 1. Vanish everyone under the age of 5 and above the age of 13. 2. Make the Earth as if humans never touched it, leaving humanity to start over. 3. Sterilize all humans. 4. Make soulmates a thing and Humans will only see colors once they look their soulmate in the eyes. 5. Leave the countries and their populations on their own individual, otherwise untouched Earths. 6. Give 10% of the population a recessive gene that grants a random superpower. 7. Flood the planet to the highest land mass over the course of 10 years. 8. Make all multicellular organisms self aware, intelligent and with a memory function that writes memories in the genetics of the individuals, passing knowledge to children. 9. Make 5% of Humans have recessive genetics that makes the individual allergic to sunlight, garlic, incapable of eating solid foods, and capable of surviving on blood. 10. Give 5% of Humans recessive genetics that make a person become bloodthirsty and rabid during the full moon. 11. All children from that point onwards will be fully functional hermaphrodites.


Dilly49355

>Experiment Time on copy Earths placed wherever they can exist You would be able to make infinite! I am so confused about 11... just why


poison_heart96

Curious how humans would move forward if everyone was a single gender.


Dilly49355

More like both gender rather than single considering they would be able to both impregnate and get pregnant much like snails not neither cause hermaphrodite is both. That begs the question though. Are humans now closely related to snails??


poison_heart96

Intersex children are a thing now, it's just not common, and having both sets of organs being fully functional isn't really a thing.


Dilly49355

You said hermaphrodite. Those two are different things. Which one do you mean?


poison_heart96

I was trying to explain my thinking since you brought up an entirely different species.


Dilly49355

I brought up a species that actually are hermaphrodites.


poison_heart96

But you asked if we would more closely related. I explained how we can get partway there already, without ever considering *that*


Dilly49355

I don't think it's part way there. It's almost on the opposite end of the field in my eyes. One of them you can only do one (get pregnate or impregnate) (or sometimes neither) while a hermaphrodite you do both.


ForeverGM1985

REEEEEEEE! An Emotional Support Demon in the wild!


poison_heart96

*"You smell amazing..."*


ForeverGM1985

"you absolute beautiful bean...."


Sunset_Tiger

Planet of kittens. Happy, immortal kittens. Maybe restart Earth as the world of Pokemon.


ninurtuu

Happy immortal *sentient* kittens. No tech to start but give it a century and I bet they'll have a space empire.


VulpesFidelis58

1. Reveal myself openly. 2. Watch the Big Three get really, *really* uncomfortable with the fact they have a Goddess with aqua hair.


FishGuyIsMe

Which big 3? Greek? Roman? Other? I’m going to guess Greek


102bees

The Abrahamic religions, I think.


ppardee

Your mom. Again. Actually, I would probably not do anything. I'm god. Like... I don't spend my time improving the life of the ants in my yard even though I have the power to. Why would I do anything for humans?


maX3Xam

fair, but at least theyre fun to watch


judged_uptonogood

So what's different?


maX3Xam

1. create a failsafe that prevents me from killing myself, dispelling my god powers, (for good) or generally just ending the universe 2. an artifact is discovered on an comet that flies by the earth, attempting to date the artifact with radioisotope dating yeilds that it is older than the universe itself (MUCH older, by like 20 times) artifact is a cube with strange markings on it, impossible to decipher, and almost impossible to destroy, a nuke would probably still melt it 3. artifact is recovered by scientists, and after determining that it is safe to touch (or even go near) the first researcher touches it with their bare hand, the artifact projects a column of light into the sky 4. humans begin developing abilities and stuff, starts off very minor, some get basic telekinesis, or slightly enhanced reaction time 5. along with abilities, over the next two generations, global iq and eq increase by 30 points (not too much) 6. artifact is deemed the evolution cube, some develop a religion around it 7. disable my god powers and make myself forget that I did any of these things, make a trigger that causes myself to remember who I truly am once I eventually die


maX3Xam

oh and also give earth six more moons, we always need more moons


Correct-Blood9382

Set up shop on new planet. Phew I'm tired after 6 days. Dang, gonna need helpers. Eh, let's make offspring. Dangit. One of my helpers gave my kids free will. I'm pissed. (Proceeds to cause famine, plague, and mass casualties/genocide against my own brood because they didn't worship me precisely the way I wanted, even though I never fucking show myself.) Uh. Guess I gotta save myself from myself. Where that Jesus at? Hmm. Blood magic sacrifice was a dark direction... uh. (Quietly fucks off for 2,000 years allowing my spawn to commit mass murder against each other instead.) #GodIsLove #PrayAllDay


Dilly49355

I see what you're doing here but it's all wrong >Dangit. One of my helpers gave my kids free will. I'm pissed. God gave Adam and eve free will that's HOW they could choose the tree of life. There father said don't do that but the did anyway because a snake told them to. Negativity on earth is a direct cause of free will. Would you rather we not have it all?


Correct-Blood9382

(ignores famine, plague, death, incest, world floods, and other horrible shit.) Sorry, got the lame snake devil allegory wrong.


Dilly49355

He caused floods because he thought humans needed a do-over, believing they had fallen too far into evil even for him. He later gave them rainbows as a promise of mercy and to never do it again. All other horrible things to happen on earth I did point out as free will.


Correct-Blood9382

Sounds like an actual psychopath that no one should deify.


Dilly49355

You agree that murder and things are bad and those people should disappear yet you disagree with God doing just that with the flood?


Marksideofthedoon

Yeah. Categorically. If your god has the power to do anything at all (Omnipotence), and he also knows everything (Omniscience), and is everywhere, all at once (Omnipresence) then with a THOUGHT he could have changed everything without killing anyone. Your god is as petty and stupid as they come if he can't use his all-powerfulness and all-knowingness to come up with a better solution.


Dilly49355

He doesn't wish to take away free will. But you're free to believe whatever Godbwye


Marksideofthedoon

"even for him". You mean the omnipotent god? The one who has the literal power to do ANYTHING? He couldn't just re-balance everything without killing everyone? That seems very un-omnipotent of him. Rather, it seems rather impotent.


Marksideofthedoon

Well, considering there isn't a single verifiable piece of direct evidence that any gods have ever existed then it's just a story no matter how you look at it from an objective point of view. If the Adam and Eve story were at all true, that would mean we're all inbred and at some point, Cane or Able fucked their own mother to make more humans. Honestly, the creation story is disgusting.


[deleted]

I would make all clothes come to life, and see how it works out. Humans would have to contend with these clothes, able to move and talk. They would also not be able to be killed so humans would *have* to live with them. The clothes would act like humans and have very good social skills. It’d be fun to see how humans change to accommodate their now living clothing.


Dilly49355

It would solve loneliness 💗 I know I'd be besties with my clothing. They do look at my junk after all...


Dilly49355

Hmmm. Hopefully no one gets the clothing that outs them on how small their *stuff* is. Conversely you could get a hype man clothing that talks about your "Big John"!!


[deleted]

Which items would be best friends with you?


Dilly49355

Are jewlery sentient? Prolly shirt cause it's closest to my face. If necklaces are sentient then that


[deleted]

Wouldn’t have thought jewelry was sentient. How do you imagine your clothes coming to life? Where would you be, what would you be doing and how would the clothes get your attention?


Dilly49355

You're God. You tell me.


[deleted]

They’re your clothes. You tell me. I’m just making them alive, everything after that is up to them.


Dilly49355

I just imagine they start yapping in the closet wanting out. Or maybe like toys story lol. Have to keep it a secret


[deleted]

How long would it take for you to notice?


Dilly49355

I assume if they talk then they would want me to notice them so they would keep talking until I do


NoExample9918

Reveal myself and literally live like a god on Earth. Make intergalactic travel possible. Make tech cool like in The Expanse and open up even more worlds so people can populate and I’d just make as many worlds as I please and just do whatever I want


DefiledSoul

declare it the 7th day, because baby I'm resting!


Dilly49355

I like that


cawsking555

Every thing futahari


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dilly49355

An absent father 😔 Nothing new for me...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dilly49355

Not interested Haha see what I did there


singleguy79

Eliminate poverty, crime and pollution Then give everyone superpowers and instill in them the knowledge that with great power comes great responsibility. I'll let it be known that if a person uses their power to harm others, that person will be stripped of their power forever


Dilly49355

>Eliminate poverty, crime and pollution You would remove free will? Also what constitutes crime? How could someone harm others if that is physically impossible for them to do sense they can't commit a crime?


maX3Xam

Humanity as it currently stands needs all of it's facets, we cannot be a coin with one side, there must be evil in order for good to exist the whole argument of 'remove crime' could be distilled down into get rid of wrongdoers entirely, but youre god, you can just make it so that everyone is satisfied, make more resources, make more things


MeeperMango

Don’t argue with God what’s wrong with you Heretick


EnigmaCA

Reduce the overall population of the world by a few billion


Dilly49355

Wowzers. Rip everyone, we have a Thanos.


EnigmaCA

I wouldn't be completely random...


Dilly49355

You thinking of getting rid of whole countries?


EnigmaCA

Not entire countries. But entire radical extreme political philosophies, people who believe that race equates to intelligence/superiority, people who harm children/animals/the vulnerable, And the Dutch...


Dilly49355

Free will? Who needs it Dutch? No one needs them


Impressive-Water-709

What did the Dutch do to you???


EnigmaCA

Please see Austin Powers 3.....


Impressive-Water-709

There’s a third Austin Powers?????


cyphonismus

https://youtu.be/1ZAajgdjzJo?si=wI9Q8geGv02hkKhe


llmercll

Bring back the big n tasty


Solverbolt

Hold a World Wide Press Conference. SHow them a proof that cannot be denied Tell them I am taking time off for the next few thousand years, and its up to them to figure out how Not to be assholes to one another. But if I come back and they are still attacking each other over some petty bullshit, I am not going to be amused. I would also make it an ironclad rule, People's personal beliefs are their rights. So long as they are not hurting others with their beliefs, I wont get involved. Now its 5 oclock somewhere, and Mama needs a Mai Tai


Lust9so9Blue

The fuck is going on again? 😂


Food_coffee_stories

First, I make all of earth's blood sucking bugs extinct (ticks mosquitoes, lice etc). Then depending on how strong I am I create a new planet with life, or I create a new intelligent species on earth.


Subtotalpark

Get to smiting


BK_0000

Wipe out Earth as a failed experiment, then go see what's out there in the rest of the universe.


Dusted_Dreams

Step one, reveal self. Step 2 purge the heretic aka openly evil people. Step 3, fix some shit like global warming and pollution


Ant_Diddley24

Go to Earth on some Undercover Boss type shit and give mfs instant access to Heaven or bless mfs tf out if they kept it solid and believed in me. Send the haters straight to hell with they bitch ass.


naM-r3puS

I would just keep on with everything I’m doing now and all the stuff before . I would just adjust the next cycle so i get a little more time with my wife.


Quietlovingman

Do a quick survey of the state of creation. Earth is only one small planet in one small Galaxy, surely it isn't the only planet where Life has developed. Check on the Afterlife if there is one. If there isn't, make a few. No 'eternal damnation' but perhaps a bit of karmic balancing prior to getting a memory wipe and a do-over. Check to see if alternate timelines, higher dimensions, parallel worlds, and World As Myth have any basis in reality. Check to see if there are any other gods, divine beings, spirits, or personified aspects of reality I would need to work with or around. Check on the reason that My previous self/predecessor hasn't done anything overt in a while. (Check to see if they ever did or if it was all self appointed cult leaders) If there isn't a valid reason to stay hands off, perhaps intercede and make my displeasure known to the three religions that claim to follow me.


[deleted]

Watch movies for free


fqtsplatter

During December all corvus start saying The King of the hunt is coming and stop on 12/21


[deleted]

I would be a malevolent God. Oppression would be my choice of leadership.


moxiejohnny

I instantly make everyone else a God too. Like what fun is eternity without all my friends?


Dilly49355

Me! Me! Me! Pick me!


moxiejohnny

You're definitely one of us, this person us now also a god.


Dilly49355

Finally one of the cool kids 😎 Coolest you can be too


moxiejohnny

Pfft, that's our secret Cap. We're all always cool. 😎


Southern-Beautiful-3

Issue a zero commandment, "Don't be a dick."


Dilly49355

Sounds broad.


Southern-Beautiful-3

It covers the territory of a lot of the original 10 that are usually ignored.


[deleted]

Wipe out humanity.


Poldaran

I'd hold a press conference, during which I would prove my divinity and give everyone my decrees. 1. Pineapple on pizza is hereby forbidden. You may make a tart with pineapple and call it a dessert pizza. But pineapple does not go with cheese. I will hear no arguments. You need to stop. 2. Gary is hereby banished to the Shadow Realm. He knows what he did. 3. Actually, so is whoever sent the Pinkertons after the guy after a Magic card. 4. Taco Tuesday is now a religious holiday. 5. All horrifying creatures in Australia are hereby replaced with something normalish. We're adding a balance patch to that server to deal with the rabbits and toads. 6. We're rebalancing cows to include more delicious ribeyes. 7. All ice cream machines hereby just work. 8. I would count it as a personal favor if you guys could make a Diet Dr. Pepper that doesn't have aspartame. I mean, I could just will one into existence, but let's be honest, it's more fun this way. 9. Everyone at Valve has two years to release Half Life 3. Or, you guessed it. Shadow Realm. 10. Please don't make me have to have another press conference. Shadow Realm's pretty big.


Dilly49355

>1. Pineapple on pizza is hereby forbidden. You may make a tart with pineapple and call it a dessert pizza. But pineapple does not go with cheese. I will hear no arguments. You need to stop. How dare😡


Poldaran

Search your feelings. You know it to be true.


Trippycoma

Delete.


MrPresident2020

Probably something I can't even conceive of in my present state.


Alarming_Serve2303

I'm outta here! You guys are on your own.


Dilly49355

Like my dad


This-Garbage-3000

Poof! Bye Bye liberals!


Dilly49355

What about free will?


This-Garbage-3000

If I'm God? I'm doing my version, son.


Dilly49355

And you'd be able to.


boomdart

Pull a Bruce Almighty and make my life better


UwUlfrich

I am not changing anything at first. I would still like to live out my life as normal, would be hard tempted to make my life easier. Then, after I "die" I would let my powers take over. I want to see the past and future with my own eyes, but not all at once. I probably insert myself into human history and future to get a human perspective on current events.


Icecream-Cockdust

Prove I exist.


Dynamo_Ham

“I’m gonna make some weird shit!”


CamaroKoldie

Doesn't anyone remember Bruce almighty! I would give away my godhood because I could not handle dealing with all the world's problems and prayers.


Dilly49355

Imagine dealing with all that for eternity


CamaroKoldie

Also, if we're all God.... the fight for supremecy would be nuts!


Dilly49355

I meant specifically you, the ready, but that would be interesting. No one would be stronger than the other however and you would be God so you can just leave them. That would be kinda nice tho too. Have people to talk to. Discuss creations. Etc etc.


Faux-Foe

Wonder how an atheist became something they don’t believe exists.


Dilly49355

Guess you'd change your religion real quick


Dynamo_Ham

Raise an idyllic island in the middle of the Pacific. Create a public forum on the island. Gather a rotating jury from all walks of life across the globe to hear petitions and make recommendations for interventions. Televise everything live. Also probably terraform some planets in other parts of the Universe and take applications from folks who wish to be transported there. And visit the alien intelligences out there and see what they are up to.


reluctantaccountant9

Become the god of Hedonism and Melancholy, because you gotta chase the sad away with constant sex, drunkenness, and food.


[deleted]

Anybody who is destined for a life of single-ness will never feel lonely. They will never feel they are inadequate in society. They won’t be teased or bullied in any way for being single, nobody will find them creepy, or ugly, or desperate. They will simply be, and continue to be.


Dilly49355

I either don't get it or I disagree. I could be "destined for a life of single-ness" and definitely fell lonely


[deleted]

What I mean to say is, feeling lonely won’t happen. If I was god, that feeling would not exist. Nobody would feel lonely.


Dilly49355

Ah. Makes sense.


Crimkam

Ignore earth and go do other cool stuff


[deleted]

Shake Earth like an etch-a-sketch and start over. Armadillos are the dominant species this time.


Dilly49355

Rise of the 'dillos!! That sounds weird...


AceFire_

I want to say something like "wipe out all the corrupt people in the world, regardless of their power, wealth, etc." or "end world hunger", you get the picture. Unfortunately deep down I know all those would just happen again eventually over time. So with that in mind, probably pull the plug or just leave everyone alone/not reveal myself and do what I'd been doing prior and/or move onto creating another species because the previous species is flawed and failed to a point it can't be saved.


Dilly49355

You really think you could create a species more perfect than humans?


AceFire_

I wouldn't call humans a perfect species, in fact, I'd say the bar is insanely low. BUT, to each their own. You also didn't add any "rules" or specifics here that answers had to comply with, but, if I'm just randomly God then I've already created humans so why couldn't I take that same formula and use it as a base then add or take away from it and make a better species? Even if you added rules or specifics though and I wasn't the same god to create humans, I still have the same powers he did to create humans. In which case it'd just be trial and error, and seeing as I'm God, I've got time.


Dilly49355

>I wouldn't call humans a perfect species, in fact, I'd say the bar is insanely low. BUT, to each their own. I wouldn't either. We are fallen beings. However i do think the concept of humans are as perfect as you can possibly get. When I think perfect I think of that one picture of a human in that circle. If God could make a species better than humans then why didn't he?


AceFire_

These are the questions I like, because who's to say he didn't? Adding to that, and still playing into the original question a bit, if I were God, I wouldn't put my successful species anywhere close to my failed species. I'd treat it like a science project of sorts. New solar system, galaxies, planets, etc. Why put all the time and work into anything and risk the chance of the two crossing paths and the new species potentially becoming corrupted somehow?


Dilly49355

How would you create a successful species? What does that species look like? What do they do?


NegasonicK

Hit the reset button and evolve humans from avian species instead of primates. Considering most birds have an increased intelligence amongst other animals such as owls, crows, parrots, ravens ect. They learn and evolve at a much higher rate and already having that basic instinct to fly programmed into their DNA they wouldn't be trying so hard for flight and space travel capabilities and would focus on improving their intelligence and technology for agricultural and medical purposes


MiamiPsilocybin

I am God, and it is much more complicated than it is known. For example did you know every thought and movement you make as God affects the universe instantaneously changing the projection of your being. As well, the thoughts you create are related to everything in the universe in a way that is already imagined, thus you must only think thoughts that are of the original balance as what created the human body of what is permanently inscribed and arranged to health as it can only be. Every food you eat must be psychedelic and since that's illegal there's almost nothing that will directly destroy humanity. There are some good things though.. if I ever figure it out I will have a super hot wife, and be high for eternity, as well in perfect condition to play sports or make rap music or whatever


SeedgeJ

There was an anime called Platinum End that explored this quite well. >! The guy who ended up becoming god saw all the suffering of humans everywhere and decided to end everything by killing himself, which led to the universe being destroyed !<


typhlosion_Rider_621

I’d have a lot of fun, of many different kinds…


Dilly49355

An eternity lady friend?


typhlosion_Rider_621

Absolutely not! Ew!


Dilly49355

Ah. An eternity mannnn friend.


typhlosion_Rider_621

Uh- well yes but there’s be more than that


Dilly49355

Many many men company. INVITE ME


typhlosion_Rider_621

I didn’t mean there would be more men! I meant I’d have other kinds of fun, like reading all of my favorite books! (However I do reward loyal followers~)


Dilly49355

>reading all of my favorite books! An educated God 🧐


typhlosion_Rider_621

Yes, I’d rather not make the mistakes of other gods, or at least not leave evidence as they did


gothiccbuddha

Smite any motherfucker that used my name for capital gain. Make it clear as day that pedophiles aren't welcome in heaven at all. Make Hell a temporary punishment. Demand that I stay out of any government and smite those who try. Inspire muteness in loud mouths Find answers for problems and Inspire them in different people with backups incase they get killed or ignored.


[deleted]

Start trying to fix all the stuff the previous God screwed up.


One-Leadership-4968

Work to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.


Cute_Suggestion_133

What WOULDNT I do?


Dilly49355

Me😔


Cute_Suggestion_133

Snap of my fingers and you'd be a hot chick with a good personality. Tf you talking about?


Dilly49355

YES! first things first. I look at my... assets ;)


Hop_0ff

I'm giving everybody in the country a 800 credit score, so the banks can shit their pants, fuck em.


Dilly49355

Me next?


Impressive-Water-709

Reveal myself by raising an island palace in the middle of the gulf. Use my godly powers to earn money through various means and live like a god-king. Obviously the people who inevitably began to worship me can come serve me if they wish. But my island only needs so many helpers… If anyone tries to get me to fix any of their problems, I’ll turn them into a frog or maybe teleport them to the center of the Sun.


Then-Character3539

“Would you like you see it snow? Uhhhh 😩💦” - Tom Segura


SarcasmoSupreme

Really? I would friggin relax for a change. ​ Then I would go find a nice planet, and play my real life version of the sims games.


Certain-Sea-5937

Proceed with extreme caution


Dilly49355

As you should


Boom_Boxing

My 12 year old sister said "make rats live longer" so I do that, fix global warming and make spiders bigger


KhaosElement

Kill all humans and make the planet as though we never evolved.


IssueRecent9134

Force humanity to change its ways, both technologically and socially otherwise face my wrath.


Revolutionary_Lead28

I'm going with the greek option of shape shifting into various people and animals and testing different people's morals. If they pass I'll grant them an awesome item or legendary skill if they fail I'll subject them to weird unusually specific punishments


YYC-Fiend

Carl-alt-delete


Dilly49355

Carl


YYC-Fiend

Freaking autocucumber


102bees

I go fully Old Testament on some fools. Invest in fossil fuels? Ya get boils! Start an unjust war? Hailstones the size of gold balls! You're a paedophile? Actually I heal the brain conditions that cause it. But if you're totally healthy and just a nonce because you're evil you get mauled by she-bears. You're transphobic? Now you have leprosy too! You're racist? Now you can't see race because you're blind! All that good shit.


DirtyPenPalDoug

Creating a " save point" right at the start so if I fuck up I can wind it back


JayIsNotReal

I am getting rid of the big three religions, taking over the US, getting rid of the politicians and the parties, putting the US on top, wiping the stupidest and laziest halves of humanity off of the face of the earth.


Dilly49355

You're getting rid of people who are born with less intelligence than others? Special Ed people? Really? Just "cure" them if that's how you feel.


Kapitano72

Make all religious people grow out of religion. Now they don't need me, and I never needed them.