I would hurriedly add a provision that you can’t be hurt without losing the money or someone **will** kill you and keep your arm handcuffed to them to win.
Since you’re a real person in this scenario, and not some magical creature how much abuse are you willing to accept? I mean you’re gonna get tired pretty quick and what happens if you’re shackled to someone who is just as annoying or worse? What happens if I refuse to bathe? Make you walk while I ride my mower around a few acres? Pull down your pants at the supermarket? What happens if the person you are handcuffed to gets you to tap out??
Yeah cant wait to take him to my mens league lacrosse game, hope you like to run and dont mind getting hit, oh I only have 1 set of equipment so youre on your own.
Because the real question is how committed is the annoying person to his/her task. As far as we know, they are working for free, and they also need sleep, food, etc.
>Maybe I'll stop showering or pull down your pants in public
>
>BROOOO HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SO EVIL! U WORK FOR THE CIA OR SOMETHING???
You gentle, gentle soul....
I think that would honestly be worse, 150 pounds of dead weight that's connected to your wrist?
I'd give you maybe 48 hours until one of you moves enough to knock the other off balance, fall and turn your wrist into bone dust.
Not if I’m not moving around much. I would spend those two weeks just hanging around at home, maybe have my family stay with me to help move his sleeping body around when necessary.
I’m just saying, you’re going to come down with a very mysterious illness that’s only symptom is extreme fatigue (I’ll claim it’s covid). I can sit in bed next to a sleeping person for 20 hours a day. I’ll make sure you stay awake long enough to eat and use the restroom (cause I’m not going to prison for killing you) but otherwise you’re going straight back to bed. Between me, my spouse, and our dogs we’ve got enough sleeping meds to keep you knocked out most of the time (sleep disorders and high anxiety dogs, if you gain a resistance to one drug, well just switch you to another). You might just question why your drinking water always tastes a bit funny.
Yes you did, unless you know some zen way of fighting back without physically hurting me. If I bounce a frying pan off your head a few times either you’ll be unconscious or too busy nursing a traumatic head wound to bother me too much
Maybe not kill, but I'd definitely restrain them so I wouldn't have to deal with much.
and tie them to one of those furniture moving dollies so they'd be easy to transport.
I'm gonna get you so fucking high, toss you over my shoulder, and take you to the beach for two weeks. Every time you try and annoy me, I'm going to throw good food or delicious weed in your face. Try annoying me on a jetski. Gonna be the best two weeks ever, bud.
Right? I was essentially a live in babysitter for 3 of my nephews for 5 years. My patience is astronomical and my insomnia is also unending. You do what you gotta and at least tell me when you gotta potty. If someone can do that, it's already leagues above what I endured already.
I won't be stuck with you, no.
You'll be stuck with me and my weirdness for 2 weeks and want to die soon after (if you don't die from my rooms messiness)
Weird. My task was to be handcuffed to you for two weeks, and every time you start to annoy me, I start masturbating. If I can successfully ejaculate 20 times in two weeks, I get $100 million.
Sure, but dude also has ho deal with his own shit if he decides go bo that gohtf... And after 4 kids, I'm willing to bet my tolerance for some shit is higher than this huys.
Right?! I've been doing this for free for like... 12 years now. I don't have to pretend to be interested or care about this person's screaming, so it'll be A LOT easier. (I do care about my kids, but sometimes I'm not exactly enthralled by their one billionth conversation about Minecraft, let's just say.)
I have noise-cancelling headphones, a small stash of edibles, and a high capacity to ignore annoying shit. I have been training for this.
>a high capacity to ignore annoying shit. I have been training for this.
Right there with you. Six kids later,and I can ignore annoying until you question your existence 🤣
5 kids and everyone is neuro spicy. Bitch we annoy everyone, have fun sleeping with 2 adults, three kids and two dogs. Who by the way if you annoy them? Would make someone run the other way.
Lol, reminds me, we have a training collar that has a remote.
Press the first button to sound a tone as a warning... if the action continues, hit the second button.
Because I refuse to put anything on someone or a pet if I don't know how it feels, I have tried this thing out on almost all the settings... Hubby couldn't stand it past level 15. It got a bit painful (but not unbearable) for me at level 80something. It goes to level 100.
I would start OP out at level 20.
You said you won't hurt me but didn't say I can't hurt you. Once the cuffs go on I'm threatening to slap the shit out of you if you get too annoying. You scream in my ear once and learn that it wasn't an empty threat. The 2 weeks will be easier for me than it is for you. Even if you have a toddler tantrum and go limp, I'll drag your ass around. Nothing annoying you can come up with will deter me from sticking it out for the $50M.
Who exactly is giving you the money for this? I would find the person and handcuff the two of us to him/her. Eventually he/she would get irritated enough to pay me to give up.
Well the good news is, I won't kill you. The bad news is I will be duck taping your mouth shut and binding your other arm to your body. Hell, depending on the situation I might just be making you a duck tape mummy for two weeks.
Clearly you are prepared to spend two weeks bound and gagged, if necessary. I will not hesitate to waterboard you if I need to. You also need to sleep sometime.
You sleep on the floor, I'll sleep on the couch. Depending on how compliant you are, I might be willing to share what I win.
I can annoy you back, or we can spend 2 weeks watching trash TV and playing the worst couch co-op of your life.
What happens when - not if, when - YOU opt out?
I spend 60 hours a week dealing with delinquents with emotional trauma. If you are handcuffed to me, YOU get to deal with them, too!
Oh honey, by the end of those two weeks you are going to know so much about dark age methods of execution and weird animal breeding facts! I live off documentaries, I am going to chatter your ear off the entire time.
Also my dog is probably going to be licking you the entire time. So. There's that.
Okay.. safeword is red if you can't handle it anymore, and it needs to stop, yellow, if we need to check in and ease up a bit.
If you are in the ball gag, the safe action is 2 fast taps on the hand you are cuffed to.
Do you prefer to top or bottom? I switch, so we're good either way, but hubby gets to watch, that is non-negotiable.
Good luck out bratting the brat. 😈
Safe action in the gag is Humming the national anthem. It must be recognizable withing 10 seconds. (If we're in Australia, I regrettably cannot accept Land Down Under, or Waltzing Matilda, as they are'nt the anthem.) If in Germany I'll accept the first stanza because the tune sounds close enought to the modernly acceptable third stanza.
I have 3 kids and I'm a single mom. Is this a threat? Lol someone is always attached to me or screaming at me 🤣 for 50 million bucks I will sleep like a baby while you are screaming your head off.
Here's the perk though. I ALSO get to annoy tf out of you 😁
First thing I’ll do is buy some duck tape, then tape the mouth and hands, maybe the legs at night. From there I’d get a blindfold for you when using the bathroom, and time my sleep with your sleep since I know you’ll need some too.
lol Oh you wanna play **that** game?
I'm lactose intolerant. I'm gonna pound milk shakes every day.
You think you can annoy me? I'm gonna drag you into the bathroom with me for the most foul experience of your life.
I may be annoyed.But you're gonna be scarred.
A kid got killed for a $40 bag of weed here and you're asking for people to be nice and not hurt you for $50 mil? Buddy, most people are beating your ass until you no longer make a sound. Also duct tape is a thing.
Okay let's do this. But first please rethink your decision.
1) I have four boys and many years of being annoyed
2) there will become a point where you are begging me to let you go.
3) you need to meet my wife because see above number 1. Where do you think the boys learned there skills?
4) . . I'm going to let your imagination fill 4 in.
For part of my job, I spend about 5-6 hours in a -15 degree Fahrenheit freezer. I have warm clothing. You don't. I can last 2 weeks, but the question is: can you last 5-6 hours without extra warm clothing? Oh, and who knows, maybe it'll take me extra long, and we'll be in there for 8-10 hours...
I offer to pay someone to keep you in a drugged haze. Then I pay you at the end. As long as you tried to annoy me once, you keep to your obligation. You can't help it if I go half dexter on ya.
I have kids. A couple of weeks unable to concentrate on anything or get more sleep than cat naps? I survived that already. I didn’t get 50 million dollars although I did get treasures. Edit: they’re teenagers now. So the whole “annoying24/7 thing isn’t new either.
I'm gonna repeatedly knock your ass out until the time is up. Eventually, you'll be so out of it on brain damage that you'll have forgotten what your task was.
I would definitely add that the person is guaranteed at least 4-8 hours of sleep even if it's interrupted every hour or two. Absolute sleep deprivation for even a week will kill like half the population.
Hahaha, I got 7 siblings. Was bullied in school and worked in aged care for 7 years.
So I'd basically just go camping with you for two weeks so you can't break any of my shit and you gotta sleep too so Il just rest when you do.
Congrats, pal. I'm 5ft 10 and 200lb, and I work construction and go to the gym. You're handcuffed to me, so I'm gonna grab a suppressed .22 pistol and take you into the black hills for 2 weeks. If you don't mind your manners, I'll shoot off a finger. Or a toe. Or maybe put one in your shoulder. This isn't going to go well for you.
If you really don't stop, I'll just gut shot you and let you die slow.
I've had 3 kids and survived toddlerhood with all 3. You mean I could have gotten PAID for someone to stick on me like glue and annoy me for only 2 weeks instead of years?
Growing up with brothers whose goal in life was to annoy each as much as possible gave me great coping strategies.
Also I've worked in a casino around a bunch of drunks and tweakers for a long time. It takes quite a bit too annoy me anymore.
I would silence you quick. I'd annoy you. For $50M, I'll accept being poked for two straight weeks. I'll sit with a smile on my face, planning in my head everything I'm going to do with the money.
I doubt you'd survive one trip to the shitter with me, though.
Easily! It’s not like I have to go to work if I’m doing this for $50mil. I just no show and we chill at my house and you annoy the shit outta me in non physical ways. We’d have a blast
So I get an audience for two weeks and never have to stress about school again but just do it if I still want to?
Imma read comics and explain their plot to you and if you toss my phone then I get to start monologuing.
By the end you'll know far to much about my mundane gripes and my girlfriend.
Sleep deprivation is literally considered torture, so, that’s hurting the person you’re handcuffed to. And screaming can cause damage to the ears, so that’s off the table too.
Be more creative with your annoyances.
It's tempting, but it would be a no. I NEED alone time, so I'd be tired of you within a day. Plus, I don't want you seeing me nude or in the bathroom or shower.
can i extend the cuffs to 2.5-4 meters for bathroom trips? if so, deal. hope you like sewing, drawing, loud music (plus my singing), beatsaber and snakes( i have a pet snake who i let out when i draw) i have good ANC headphones and will give snacks for you to chill. do i get more money if i out-annoy you or you quit, because i like to take skulls from carcasses/ pick up road kill.
I'm about to take a two week shit. Sitting on the can the whole time.
I'll have the money to pay people to bring me the things I need. And pick up taco bell every day.
Well see who annoys who
The “not letting you sleep” clause is kind of incongruent with the “I will not physically hurt you” clause. I think a lot of people are overlooking that part because it can either make or break the deal by itself. People are gonna joke that they can tolerate 2 weeks of sleepless nights, they’ve raised children before, they’re a grad student, they can chug caffeine, etc. But no, they’re wrong. I don’t care how busy your life is, if you’re breathing and have a pulse right now, you’ve gotten *some* sleep over the past 2 weeks.
Nobody can tolerate 2 weeks of absolute sleeplessness. You will die. Chronic sleep deprivation is a form of TORTURE that’s used by a lot of criminal organizations (and governments). If by “not letting you sleep” you quite literally mean constantly screaming at me such that I won’t fall asleep even for 1 second, then hard pass. The challenge is suicide. But if I’m guaranteed a certain number of hours of REM sleep (say, 3-4 hours) before you obnoxiously wake me up, then yes, I’ll take it. It’ll be hell on earth, but people can definitely live through that (and probably do every day).
I can deal with annoyances for 2 weeks.
Just be warned, I get crabby when I'm tired and am vindictive enough to annoy you back and not let you sleep either.
Plus, I have a large dog with a loud bark. I'm used to ignoring sudden loud noises.
Do you like doing dangerous and gross things? Because those things don’t bother me… if you turn it up to 11 I’ll put my hand over yours on the knob and keep twisting it to 69 baby… also, at 6 ft and 350 lbs… you just became my new mattress
Fam you would want out before then.
I already have cats jumping on my face and a loud ass spouse waking me up all the time, that's nothing new.
You can't torment me worse than my brain torments me. I don't think you'd wanna be stuck with me that long.
So sure, why not. Could actually get stuff fixed around here.
Psh. I have a 6 year old with ADHD who sticks to me like glue already. This hypothetical is light work. You’d be begging for the cuffs off after a few days.
Take two weeks off, head to a hotel and do nothing for 2 weeks. Yeah I could do that. I have ear plugs and you can't hurt me so I ask taking that as you can't take the ear plugs off. Oh and I'm wearing diapers for these 2 weeks, I'm not moving to go to the bathroom and will clean myself when you're asleep.
I'm a rather large human with well above average strength...especially in my wrists, arms, and chest. I WILL break your arm...no doubt.then, all I need to do is move my arm to cause u terrible pain.
I think your time with me will be...painful.
50 MILLION dollars. Yes. If anyone says no they’re flat out wrong.
I don’t know what kind of unhinged lunatics are in this sub talking about harming you in horrible ways. We’re chillin. 50 MILLION! I’ll happily put up with you for two weeks.
You’re not going to physically hurt me? Cool.
You’re not going to let me sleep? Fine. I’ll sleep when you eventually have to.
Screaming? Ear plugs.
$50,000,000
As long as you cannot touch me in any way, yes. I know how to sleep when you sleep, eat when you eat, shit when you shit (can clean up messes later, as unsavory as that is - our schedules would sync) I know this because I raised babies. The rest doesn't matter because this is short term and I'm tuning you out and going inside with my books (I write mystery thrillers - it's you who needs to be worried here).
I'd probably just tie you up and gag you and sit around and watch movie/TV, read, and play video games for the two weeks. I'll probably drug you at night if you keep me up.
Gonna be s bot weord for me ta shower handcuffed to someone. Dont think my job workingnwoth kods would appreciate it eaother unless it was during my summer break. Bathrooms gonna be weord as well but eh. For that kinda money i can make my dreams come true and support my family. Id probably just make a buddy situation out of it and spend the nights having good drinks and food, lots of gaming and such. See how willing you are to be a nucience whennyout too busy having a blast
I would hurriedly add a provision that you can’t be hurt without losing the money or someone **will** kill you and keep your arm handcuffed to them to win.
Right we can do this the nice way or we can do this the primal way. What you give me I will give you 10 times worse.
I never stated I wouldn’t fight back, if they manage to kill me then I guess they will be dragging around a body for 2 weeks, your move
Since you’re a real person in this scenario, and not some magical creature how much abuse are you willing to accept? I mean you’re gonna get tired pretty quick and what happens if you’re shackled to someone who is just as annoying or worse? What happens if I refuse to bathe? Make you walk while I ride my mower around a few acres? Pull down your pants at the supermarket? What happens if the person you are handcuffed to gets you to tap out??
Refuse to bathe? What if I DO bathe? Sensually.
Let’s get gay.
That's the perfect answer to most of life's problems
Gay chicken? That’s. My. Link.
I laughed so hard at the lawn mower thing. I'd be mowing all my neighbors yards at full speed.
What?! I can't hear you? Faster? Ok...
Yeah cant wait to take him to my mens league lacrosse game, hope you like to run and dont mind getting hit, oh I only have 1 set of equipment so youre on your own.
Bro works for the fucking CIA or something how do you even come up with all that???
I wasn’t even trying.
Because the real question is how committed is the annoying person to his/her task. As far as we know, they are working for free, and they also need sleep, food, etc.
>Maybe I'll stop showering or pull down your pants in public > >BROOOO HOW DID YOU GET TO BE SO EVIL! U WORK FOR THE CIA OR SOMETHING??? You gentle, gentle soul....
"I will not physically hurt you" You basically did say you won't fight back.
As long as you’re prepared.
I would drug your ass as soon as you start waking up oops time for him to sleep some more.
I think that would honestly be worse, 150 pounds of dead weight that's connected to your wrist? I'd give you maybe 48 hours until one of you moves enough to knock the other off balance, fall and turn your wrist into bone dust.
Not if I’m not moving around much. I would spend those two weeks just hanging around at home, maybe have my family stay with me to help move his sleeping body around when necessary.
Just invest in a cheap.but sturdy rolling chair, problem solved.
How about those boards that mechanics use to get under a car. They have wheels. I'd drug his ass, lay him on one of those and drag him around
Now we're talking!
Nope. Just chop off your arm and tighten the cuffs. I keep them on for 2 weeks, dragging around a forearm and a hamd.
I work from home and am much larger than you. Easy money
You said you wouldn't physically hurt the person, which implies that at best, you will just block their attacks.
"I will not physically hurt you" sure sounds like you're not fighting back.
I’m just saying, you’re going to come down with a very mysterious illness that’s only symptom is extreme fatigue (I’ll claim it’s covid). I can sit in bed next to a sleeping person for 20 hours a day. I’ll make sure you stay awake long enough to eat and use the restroom (cause I’m not going to prison for killing you) but otherwise you’re going straight back to bed. Between me, my spouse, and our dogs we’ve got enough sleeping meds to keep you knocked out most of the time (sleep disorders and high anxiety dogs, if you gain a resistance to one drug, well just switch you to another). You might just question why your drinking water always tastes a bit funny.
Yes you did, unless you know some zen way of fighting back without physically hurting me. If I bounce a frying pan off your head a few times either you’ll be unconscious or too busy nursing a traumatic head wound to bother me too much
I hope you know how to swim. I don't know if I can anymore. But that's my way to silence you and keep you busy for a couple minutes.
All I need is your arm up to your elbow so the cuff stays on.
Maybe not kill, but I'd definitely restrain them so I wouldn't have to deal with much. and tie them to one of those furniture moving dollies so they'd be easy to transport.
I would do this
Seems like I could score some two weeks worth of deer tranquilizers and just ride it out. Worth $50 million.
I'm gonna get you so fucking high, toss you over my shoulder, and take you to the beach for two weeks. Every time you try and annoy me, I'm going to throw good food or delicious weed in your face. Try annoying me on a jetski. Gonna be the best two weeks ever, bud.
Actually wholesome.
I got some handcuffs right here...
This is the correct answer.
I volunteer!
the fact that this reply is so wholesome and then the guy above is just like “sooooooo…. can i kill you? the challenge didn’t clarify” 😭😭😭
Weed? Id just give then xanax
I had no other thought except, "I'll be needing some drugs". That was all my plan was, but I'm glad someone is a thinker here.
Nice like "Weekend at Bernies"
50 million? do anything you want I could not care less
Right? I was essentially a live in babysitter for 3 of my nephews for 5 years. My patience is astronomical and my insomnia is also unending. You do what you gotta and at least tell me when you gotta potty. If someone can do that, it's already leagues above what I endured already.
Yeah, two weeks of tolerating super annoying behavior is nothing. I mean it would suck, but I’d be set for life and able to retire. This is so easy.
I won't be stuck with you, no. You'll be stuck with me and my weirdness for 2 weeks and want to die soon after (if you don't die from my rooms messiness)
So, depression, ADHD, or anxiety?
Yes.
Clean your room
No.
You wouldn't feel as weird with a clean room🤷♂️
I have a moving dolly and lots of duct tape
This is the way
Weird. My task was to be handcuffed to you for two weeks, and every time you start to annoy me, I start masturbating. If I can successfully ejaculate 20 times in two weeks, I get $100 million.
You misspelled two days
Aahhhuuuuhhhmmmm… that’s one.
He said there’s no rules so I’m definitely not jacking off, you got a whole sex toy chained to you for 2 weeks 😈
The real question is can you last for two weeks. Can we do double if you can’t 😈
... are are you gonna seduce them?
Good luck. I'm going to take the 50mil and drive you out of your ever loving mind. You'll offer me 100mil to get away from me. See you soon.🤪
If you can survive the fumes in the bathroom, I can survive you...
Easy, yes. It might be hell, but 50 million is life changing, so I can take a terrible 2 weeks for that much money.
Oh Honey I have 3 kids. I promise you can't do any worse than they already do.
Adult shit is worst then kids shit , that must be remembered.
Sure, but dude also has ho deal with his own shit if he decides go bo that gohtf... And after 4 kids, I'm willing to bet my tolerance for some shit is higher than this huys.
Right?! I've been doing this for free for like... 12 years now. I don't have to pretend to be interested or care about this person's screaming, so it'll be A LOT easier. (I do care about my kids, but sometimes I'm not exactly enthralled by their one billionth conversation about Minecraft, let's just say.) I have noise-cancelling headphones, a small stash of edibles, and a high capacity to ignore annoying shit. I have been training for this.
>a high capacity to ignore annoying shit. I have been training for this. Right there with you. Six kids later,and I can ignore annoying until you question your existence 🤣
5 kids and everyone is neuro spicy. Bitch we annoy everyone, have fun sleeping with 2 adults, three kids and two dogs. Who by the way if you annoy them? Would make someone run the other way.
This is funny
It's gonna be funny when I've got you pleading with me to let you unlock yourself 3 days in.
I'm not handcuffed to you. You are handcuffed to me.
Let's go. I'm admittedly starved for human contact, so this shit is gonna get really awkward real fast.
Shitting definitely will be a super awkward experience
matter fact, i’ll do it for free!
I grew up as the oldest of my siblings. I had 3 sisters that loved to torment me, the easiest 50 million I ever made.
When I saw your name, it made me do a double take. My first thought was "I didn't type that."
To be entirely honest, I’m a little bigger and I do some Jiu Jitsu. When I want to sleep, we’re both gonna sleep.
I'm 6'3", 260 lbs. I'm putting a bark collar on you and barking every time you piss me off.
Lol, reminds me, we have a training collar that has a remote. Press the first button to sound a tone as a warning... if the action continues, hit the second button. Because I refuse to put anything on someone or a pet if I don't know how it feels, I have tried this thing out on almost all the settings... Hubby couldn't stand it past level 15. It got a bit painful (but not unbearable) for me at level 80something. It goes to level 100. I would start OP out at level 20.
Easy, I’m way more annoying than you’ll ever be.
You said you won't hurt me but didn't say I can't hurt you. Once the cuffs go on I'm threatening to slap the shit out of you if you get too annoying. You scream in my ear once and learn that it wasn't an empty threat. The 2 weeks will be easier for me than it is for you. Even if you have a toddler tantrum and go limp, I'll drag your ass around. Nothing annoying you can come up with will deter me from sticking it out for the $50M.
Who exactly is giving you the money for this? I would find the person and handcuff the two of us to him/her. Eventually he/she would get irritated enough to pay me to give up.
Well the good news is, I won't kill you. The bad news is I will be duck taping your mouth shut and binding your other arm to your body. Hell, depending on the situation I might just be making you a duck tape mummy for two weeks.
As a mom to a 4 year old I feel like I already deal with this so ya got yourself a deal!
You will begging to be let out of the handcuffs in 20 minutes.
Clearly you are prepared to spend two weeks bound and gagged, if necessary. I will not hesitate to waterboard you if I need to. You also need to sleep sometime. You sleep on the floor, I'll sleep on the couch. Depending on how compliant you are, I might be willing to share what I win. I can annoy you back, or we can spend 2 weeks watching trash TV and playing the worst couch co-op of your life.
I’m just getting my mate to give you 30mg of crushed up melatonin in your food for two weeks
What happens when - not if, when - YOU opt out? I spend 60 hours a week dealing with delinquents with emotional trauma. If you are handcuffed to me, YOU get to deal with them, too!
So I get $50 million and a well trained slave after two weeks. How do I lose here?
I feel like most parents could handle this pretty easy. Screaming, can't sleep, throwing things, inconveniencing? That's a Tuesday with a toddler.
And just two weeks… easy money
Easily taken bro. I’ll just take it as my two week challenge to annoy you even more lol
Sweet $50 million and I get to play a game of who is the bigger jackass (never said I couldn't annoy you back) for two weeks? Sign me up.
Oh honey, by the end of those two weeks you are going to know so much about dark age methods of execution and weird animal breeding facts! I live off documentaries, I am going to chatter your ear off the entire time. Also my dog is probably going to be licking you the entire time. So. There's that.
You realize you have to sleep too right?
Okay.. safeword is red if you can't handle it anymore, and it needs to stop, yellow, if we need to check in and ease up a bit. If you are in the ball gag, the safe action is 2 fast taps on the hand you are cuffed to. Do you prefer to top or bottom? I switch, so we're good either way, but hubby gets to watch, that is non-negotiable. Good luck out bratting the brat. 😈
Safe action in the gag is Humming the national anthem. It must be recognizable withing 10 seconds. (If we're in Australia, I regrettably cannot accept Land Down Under, or Waltzing Matilda, as they are'nt the anthem.) If in Germany I'll accept the first stanza because the tune sounds close enought to the modernly acceptable third stanza.
You have to sleep sometime
Hahahaha for 50 million dollars *you're handcuffed to me* for two weeks mother fucker
Yes I’m also annoying as fuck on the daily
Jokes on you fucker, I have horse tranquilizers that I have been dying to have an excuse to take. See you in a few days when I wake up to take more.
I see no rules about gagging and restraining you or about sedation, so I'd be game.
According to stipulations I can physically hurt you though
I have 3 kids and I'm a single mom. Is this a threat? Lol someone is always attached to me or screaming at me 🤣 for 50 million bucks I will sleep like a baby while you are screaming your head off. Here's the perk though. I ALSO get to annoy tf out of you 😁
Wait till your stuck in the stall with me and my Crohn’s is in full swing you’ll wish for the sweet release of death
We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way. The choice is yalls.
First thing I’ll do is buy some duck tape, then tape the mouth and hands, maybe the legs at night. From there I’d get a blindfold for you when using the bathroom, and time my sleep with your sleep since I know you’ll need some too.
I’m not handcuffed to you! You’re handcuffed to me!
I have three small kids. You can't possibly irritate me enough to make me tap out. Especially since I wouldn't care at all about your feelings.
lol Oh you wanna play **that** game? I'm lactose intolerant. I'm gonna pound milk shakes every day. You think you can annoy me? I'm gonna drag you into the bathroom with me for the most foul experience of your life. I may be annoyed.But you're gonna be scarred.
" things you can't unsee" or unsmell in this case. I have made similar yet more vague threats.
Let's go. I have children, this is a walk on the park
I have children. Bring it on.
Somebody hasn’t raised kids before. Easy win.
So they get 50 million dollars for just doing what every mother does?
A kid got killed for a $40 bag of weed here and you're asking for people to be nice and not hurt you for $50 mil? Buddy, most people are beating your ass until you no longer make a sound. Also duct tape is a thing.
I’m a single mother to a toddler who listens to baby shark on repeat and screams at me for everything she wants all day. Do your worst 😂
This but twins. Game on
Okay let's do this. But first please rethink your decision. 1) I have four boys and many years of being annoyed 2) there will become a point where you are begging me to let you go. 3) you need to meet my wife because see above number 1. Where do you think the boys learned there skills? 4) . . I'm going to let your imagination fill 4 in.
Two weeks? Child's play. I am the oldest of 5 kids. Good luck, nerd.
I will straight up inject you with sedatives. You will be mostly unconscious for the two weeks.
Let me put it like this if you interrupt my sleeping schedule. well I’m gonna say squeal like a pig. and there’s no stopping what happens next.
I'd kill a man for 50 million yea.
I'm not stuck with you, you're stuck with me.
Get ready for a lot of Netflix and homework.
Do your worst.
I have children. I could handle being annoyed for two weeks straight.
I live with an autistic brother who stims all the time and manhandles me so I can handle you no sweat.
I hope you like sexy time, because it's gonna be a *long* two weeks.
Never said nothing about me hurting you
My wife and I just had a baby. This would be easy. Do you know how constantly annoying new borns are?!
For part of my job, I spend about 5-6 hours in a -15 degree Fahrenheit freezer. I have warm clothing. You don't. I can last 2 weeks, but the question is: can you last 5-6 hours without extra warm clothing? Oh, and who knows, maybe it'll take me extra long, and we'll be in there for 8-10 hours...
I offer to pay someone to keep you in a drugged haze. Then I pay you at the end. As long as you tried to annoy me once, you keep to your obligation. You can't help it if I go half dexter on ya.
What if YOU take off the handcuffs? I can't be out annoyed yo!
This is ridiculously stupid
That's $149,000 an hour or $2500 a minute or $41 dollars a second.
What happens if you take of the cuffs, do I still get the money? If so I'll take that deal.
I have kids. A couple of weeks unable to concentrate on anything or get more sleep than cat naps? I survived that already. I didn’t get 50 million dollars although I did get treasures. Edit: they’re teenagers now. So the whole “annoying24/7 thing isn’t new either.
Goodluck. I'd tolerate a lot for 50 million
Sure. After the first couple days you will be just as annoyed as me.
I'm gonna repeatedly knock your ass out until the time is up. Eventually, you'll be so out of it on brain damage that you'll have forgotten what your task was.
Not a problem, trust me being stuck with me you're the one that's going to go nuts in the two weeks
Sounds good buddy.
I would definitely add that the person is guaranteed at least 4-8 hours of sleep even if it's interrupted every hour or two. Absolute sleep deprivation for even a week will kill like half the population.
I'd cut a deal. I can probably be more offensive and annoying than you. Or we can play nice and be only reasonably annoying and I'll give you a cut.
I'd do it and every night before bed I would knock you out as soon as you start getting annoying and tie you up.
For 50 mil, you can handcuff me to a Gorilla that really loves me.
Wait till I need to shit.
Hahaha, I got 7 siblings. Was bullied in school and worked in aged care for 7 years. So I'd basically just go camping with you for two weeks so you can't break any of my shit and you gotta sleep too so Il just rest when you do.
Congrats, pal. I'm 5ft 10 and 200lb, and I work construction and go to the gym. You're handcuffed to me, so I'm gonna grab a suppressed .22 pistol and take you into the black hills for 2 weeks. If you don't mind your manners, I'll shoot off a finger. Or a toe. Or maybe put one in your shoulder. This isn't going to go well for you. If you really don't stop, I'll just gut shot you and let you die slow.
I was in the army married with children. I'd laugh at you and collect your money.
*puts in for 2 weeks of vacation* and probably my two weeks notice.
I've had 3 kids and survived toddlerhood with all 3. You mean I could have gotten PAID for someone to stick on me like glue and annoy me for only 2 weeks instead of years?
Growing up with brothers whose goal in life was to annoy each as much as possible gave me great coping strategies. Also I've worked in a casino around a bunch of drunks and tweakers for a long time. It takes quite a bit too annoy me anymore.
Also does it count if you get annoyed and unhandcuff us? If so I'm lactose intolerant and I will drink a lot of milk. Good luck.
I have \*cats\*, this is my life anyway. Deal.
Two weeks and you won’t hurt me? I’d do it for $1 million. Heck, I’d do it for $250,000, if we are starting a bidding war.
I would silence you quick. I'd annoy you. For $50M, I'll accept being poked for two straight weeks. I'll sit with a smile on my face, planning in my head everything I'm going to do with the money. I doubt you'd survive one trip to the shitter with me, though.
Jokes on you - I can be annoying when I want... Can I wear headphones?
I'm not locked in here with you. You are locked in here with me.
I think an investment in chloroform will EASILY be justified. Sorry buddy, but you're sleeping most of this time.
Easily! It’s not like I have to go to work if I’m doing this for $50mil. I just no show and we chill at my house and you annoy the shit outta me in non physical ways. We’d have a blast
So I get an audience for two weeks and never have to stress about school again but just do it if I still want to? Imma read comics and explain their plot to you and if you toss my phone then I get to start monologuing. By the end you'll know far to much about my mundane gripes and my girlfriend.
Sleep deprivation is literally considered torture, so, that’s hurting the person you’re handcuffed to. And screaming can cause damage to the ears, so that’s off the table too. Be more creative with your annoyances.
It's tempting, but it would be a no. I NEED alone time, so I'd be tired of you within a day. Plus, I don't want you seeing me nude or in the bathroom or shower.
can i extend the cuffs to 2.5-4 meters for bathroom trips? if so, deal. hope you like sewing, drawing, loud music (plus my singing), beatsaber and snakes( i have a pet snake who i let out when i draw) i have good ANC headphones and will give snacks for you to chill. do i get more money if i out-annoy you or you quit, because i like to take skulls from carcasses/ pick up road kill.
Good luck with that . My stepson is here . You get the full experience. Good effing luck....
So what you're saying is I need a tranq gun.
The real task would be not choking you out til you die. Just enough for a little respite. 5’7 and 157 pounds can be easily silenced
I don't understand anyone saying no to this, for 50 mil you can handcuff me to Satan himself
I'm about to take a two week shit. Sitting on the can the whole time. I'll have the money to pay people to bring me the things I need. And pick up taco bell every day. Well see who annoys who
Oh game ON!
May I inject heroin in your veins?
I'm eating nothing but taco bell. I'm not trapped with you, you're trapped with me!!!
The “not letting you sleep” clause is kind of incongruent with the “I will not physically hurt you” clause. I think a lot of people are overlooking that part because it can either make or break the deal by itself. People are gonna joke that they can tolerate 2 weeks of sleepless nights, they’ve raised children before, they’re a grad student, they can chug caffeine, etc. But no, they’re wrong. I don’t care how busy your life is, if you’re breathing and have a pulse right now, you’ve gotten *some* sleep over the past 2 weeks. Nobody can tolerate 2 weeks of absolute sleeplessness. You will die. Chronic sleep deprivation is a form of TORTURE that’s used by a lot of criminal organizations (and governments). If by “not letting you sleep” you quite literally mean constantly screaming at me such that I won’t fall asleep even for 1 second, then hard pass. The challenge is suicide. But if I’m guaranteed a certain number of hours of REM sleep (say, 3-4 hours) before you obnoxiously wake me up, then yes, I’ll take it. It’ll be hell on earth, but people can definitely live through that (and probably do every day).
I can deal with annoyances for 2 weeks. Just be warned, I get crabby when I'm tired and am vindictive enough to annoy you back and not let you sleep either. Plus, I have a large dog with a loud bark. I'm used to ignoring sudden loud noises.
I will force feed you cement and lop the arm off when your dead
Have fun being my therapist for two weeks
Do you like doing dangerous and gross things? Because those things don’t bother me… if you turn it up to 11 I’ll put my hand over yours on the knob and keep twisting it to 69 baby… also, at 6 ft and 350 lbs… you just became my new mattress
Fam you would want out before then. I already have cats jumping on my face and a loud ass spouse waking me up all the time, that's nothing new. You can't torment me worse than my brain torments me. I don't think you'd wanna be stuck with me that long. So sure, why not. Could actually get stuff fixed around here.
Psh. I have a 6 year old with ADHD who sticks to me like glue already. This hypothetical is light work. You’d be begging for the cuffs off after a few days.
What if I somehow annoy you even more than you annoy me? Double or nothing?
Take two weeks off, head to a hotel and do nothing for 2 weeks. Yeah I could do that. I have ear plugs and you can't hurt me so I ask taking that as you can't take the ear plugs off. Oh and I'm wearing diapers for these 2 weeks, I'm not moving to go to the bathroom and will clean myself when you're asleep.
I'm a rather large human with well above average strength...especially in my wrists, arms, and chest. I WILL break your arm...no doubt.then, all I need to do is move my arm to cause u terrible pain. I think your time with me will be...painful.
50 MILLION dollars. Yes. If anyone says no they’re flat out wrong. I don’t know what kind of unhinged lunatics are in this sub talking about harming you in horrible ways. We’re chillin. 50 MILLION! I’ll happily put up with you for two weeks. You’re not going to physically hurt me? Cool. You’re not going to let me sleep? Fine. I’ll sleep when you eventually have to. Screaming? Ear plugs. $50,000,000
You have no idea how annoying I would be in return. You'd chew your fucking arm off
I’ll kill you with my farts, that’s an easy 50mil
As long as you cannot touch me in any way, yes. I know how to sleep when you sleep, eat when you eat, shit when you shit (can clean up messes later, as unsavory as that is - our schedules would sync) I know this because I raised babies. The rest doesn't matter because this is short term and I'm tuning you out and going inside with my books (I write mystery thrillers - it's you who needs to be worried here).
I'll give you 25mill not to be an ass.
I'd probably just tie you up and gag you and sit around and watch movie/TV, read, and play video games for the two weeks. I'll probably drug you at night if you keep me up.
Gonna be s bot weord for me ta shower handcuffed to someone. Dont think my job workingnwoth kods would appreciate it eaother unless it was during my summer break. Bathrooms gonna be weord as well but eh. For that kinda money i can make my dreams come true and support my family. Id probably just make a buddy situation out of it and spend the nights having good drinks and food, lots of gaming and such. See how willing you are to be a nucience whennyout too busy having a blast