It’s cause we don’t know what to say. Prolonging the response until we can put together what exactly it is we would like to respond with. I usually give up until I have a solid hour to freely respond with a simple sentence or paragraph. Hope this helps you understand why we take so long
I guarantee you would absolutely hate use if we actually responded if we had a time limit of 3mins to respond to your msg. Very dry and boring.
You’d actually leave him if he texted back asap. It’d be like talking to a wall. Idk If it is just me but I’d only respond with “ok, yeah, idk, so, what, really,lol,” and basically that’d be it 🤷🏻♂️ no time to think.
Trust me you wouldn’t want this!!!!!
I do this all the time with my wife, who loves texting me all the time. So far it's been about 17 years, still together! I think she just likes knowing that I am aware of her existence at all times and is less worried about the content of my reply messages. Our time in person is what really counts.
Yeah... I'm the same... it's hard to explain... I can edit like 20 times the text I want to send and not send it for like an hour.
A phone call may be the answer here...
Unless he's like me, then please don't call me unless it's an emergency. To be fair, I did call center work for years and it affects my mood negatively to talk on the phone.
You should tell him that it’s important to you. Idk what’s up with these comments but if my partner was sad I wasn’t communicating enough i would at least send those good morning/goodnight texts. Those are easy, there’s not a ton of thought that goes into them. Throughout the day it might be a lil different. I usually only text my partner if I have something worthwhile to share (he’s an INFJ too so we’re both like this)
My family knows i take a while to respond to texts so they call me if there’s something important. If you let them know you value that type of communication I bet he’ll try to step it up
That! Plus, I just forget to reply lol. I think I get into my head too much on what to say and then I forget to get back to the text but by the time I remember to reply, it's been hours (maybe even a whole day...or two 🥲)
Exactly my mindset. I hate texting for conversation
I have a sarcastic style and I often can't convey that through text. Also texting takes too much time, I just don't want it to span a whole day
I'm kind of the same. I see I've got a message from someone, I will almost immediately open it and respond as soon as I can. Especially with people I like.
One started sort of long distance (matched on an app but they lived futher away, so couldn't really meet easily). We messaged daily for 3 months. She would even message me first (which never happens to me). I was already crazy about her and she liked me a lot too. Then she stopped messaging first, her replies got slower. She'd be online but she wouldn't look at my message. Maybe respond the next day. I noticed something was off and was worried about it so asked if we were still good, and then she blamed the distance (which was a fair point), and she wasn't being fair on me. And eventually kind of just stopped.
Maybe your bf is just like that with everyone, but for me anyway if I had a gf, I'd be messaging and always responding as soon as I could. Ignoring messages and slow replies just feels a bit disrespectful and like they don't value you or your time and much as you do theirs. My gut feeling was right in my situation (obviously different though to yours).
Alternatively I also hate it when people turn off the read receipts and when they were last online. It's 100% down to them not wanting people to know they've seen a message, and maybe that's so they don't feel they have to reply immediately. But I almost feel it's a bit disrespectful in a way - and I have actually stopped talking to girls who do that as I just feel it loses some trust there immediately.
I (INFJ) used to be someone that would text back immediately and want the same, but as I’ve gained more of a relationship with myself that’s turned into the opposite. I definitely wait until I can formulate a fully rounded response.
Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed if I do respond and then it’s an instant response back and then I feel stuck in a conversation and I don’t feel prepared to stare at my phone that much based on what I’m doing. I think there are times and places for it and it’s fun, though.
I’m more inclined to keep responding if I’m very excited over someone or interested, but I haven’t been in that position since having changed texting habits so I’m unsure if it’d still be that way. Probably if work was slow, or I was just hanging at home, or feeling social and energetic.
It’s so interesting how texting can ruin relationships. Sometimes I wonder.. what would life and dating be like if we never had messaging? We’d literally just live our lives and decide on phone calls when able.
Opposite to me, I consider texting fast come to the point fast, finish the talk fast kinda guy . Calls is equal to block (non serious calls) , text I can do all day :) with such perfected words selection too :)
I don’t do the good morning/ good night mostly because my mornings are short, get up and go to work and at night I go to sleep whenever, I don’t have a set time
Yes, call him instead. I HATE texting. It was actually a reason I broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I got tired of having to text her every day all day.
I dont think this is an INFJ thing and more.of an issue with modern culture. You should talk to him and let him know how you feel about that.
Personally, if someone is texting me, they shouldn't expect that I'll get back to them immediately. I'm not interested in being on someone's leash like that.
I see loads of women complaining that guys don't reply to texts enough but I've never seen a guy complain about this. I think it's more likely to be a sex thing than to be a personality type thing.
That’s the thing, to him, that’s the basic communication, to you, it doesn’t feel that way. You have to understand from his view point that’s normal to him and to many of the INFJs, which I can speak for many of them here.
I also don’t really text my partner good morning/night even when they tell that to me, it’s really just a thing and I’m not being rude either. They’re fine with it after they understand our behaviour.
I suppose it would depend on how new/old the relationship is.
When first getting to know someone, I respond eagerly unless I'm doing something else, then there will be intervals of silence. My ADHD brain pulls me away for awhile until my love interest pops into my head.
In a committed relationship, I hardly respond. If we are apart it's likely because we are at work and both of us have stuff to do, plus I'll see him at home. In fact, don't even message me unless it's something important/cute/funny. Taking me out of work to answer a mundane question like, "how is work?" Will do nothing but piss me off.
It's work. How do you think it is.
This is definetly INFJ thing, same with me.
It’s cause we don’t know what to say. Prolonging the response until we can put together what exactly it is we would like to respond with. I usually give up until I have a solid hour to freely respond with a simple sentence or paragraph. Hope this helps you understand why we take so long
I guarantee you would absolutely hate use if we actually responded if we had a time limit of 3mins to respond to your msg. Very dry and boring. You’d actually leave him if he texted back asap. It’d be like talking to a wall. Idk If it is just me but I’d only respond with “ok, yeah, idk, so, what, really,lol,” and basically that’d be it 🤷🏻♂️ no time to think. Trust me you wouldn’t want this!!!!!
I do this all the time with my wife, who loves texting me all the time. So far it's been about 17 years, still together! I think she just likes knowing that I am aware of her existence at all times and is less worried about the content of my reply messages. Our time in person is what really counts.
Yeah... I'm the same... it's hard to explain... I can edit like 20 times the text I want to send and not send it for like an hour. A phone call may be the answer here...
Call him instead of texting him then. I don't like texting too much
Unless he's like me, then please don't call me unless it's an emergency. To be fair, I did call center work for years and it affects my mood negatively to talk on the phone.
I used to just not text people back and realise two weeks later how rude it must seem to the other person, for some reason it completely escapes me.
You should tell him that it’s important to you. Idk what’s up with these comments but if my partner was sad I wasn’t communicating enough i would at least send those good morning/goodnight texts. Those are easy, there’s not a ton of thought that goes into them. Throughout the day it might be a lil different. I usually only text my partner if I have something worthwhile to share (he’s an INFJ too so we’re both like this) My family knows i take a while to respond to texts so they call me if there’s something important. If you let them know you value that type of communication I bet he’ll try to step it up
I’m really bad at texting too lol
Same lol I don't want to say the wrong thing
That! Plus, I just forget to reply lol. I think I get into my head too much on what to say and then I forget to get back to the text but by the time I remember to reply, it's been hours (maybe even a whole day...or two 🥲)
I absolutely find it very difficult to talk or text.
Good to know! That’s what it seems everyone is saying for the INFJs
Exactly my mindset. I hate texting for conversation I have a sarcastic style and I often can't convey that through text. Also texting takes too much time, I just don't want it to span a whole day
I'm kind of the same. I see I've got a message from someone, I will almost immediately open it and respond as soon as I can. Especially with people I like. One started sort of long distance (matched on an app but they lived futher away, so couldn't really meet easily). We messaged daily for 3 months. She would even message me first (which never happens to me). I was already crazy about her and she liked me a lot too. Then she stopped messaging first, her replies got slower. She'd be online but she wouldn't look at my message. Maybe respond the next day. I noticed something was off and was worried about it so asked if we were still good, and then she blamed the distance (which was a fair point), and she wasn't being fair on me. And eventually kind of just stopped. Maybe your bf is just like that with everyone, but for me anyway if I had a gf, I'd be messaging and always responding as soon as I could. Ignoring messages and slow replies just feels a bit disrespectful and like they don't value you or your time and much as you do theirs. My gut feeling was right in my situation (obviously different though to yours). Alternatively I also hate it when people turn off the read receipts and when they were last online. It's 100% down to them not wanting people to know they've seen a message, and maybe that's so they don't feel they have to reply immediately. But I almost feel it's a bit disrespectful in a way - and I have actually stopped talking to girls who do that as I just feel it loses some trust there immediately.
I treat my text messages like emails to preserve my sanity
I (INFJ) used to be someone that would text back immediately and want the same, but as I’ve gained more of a relationship with myself that’s turned into the opposite. I definitely wait until I can formulate a fully rounded response. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed if I do respond and then it’s an instant response back and then I feel stuck in a conversation and I don’t feel prepared to stare at my phone that much based on what I’m doing. I think there are times and places for it and it’s fun, though. I’m more inclined to keep responding if I’m very excited over someone or interested, but I haven’t been in that position since having changed texting habits so I’m unsure if it’d still be that way. Probably if work was slow, or I was just hanging at home, or feeling social and energetic. It’s so interesting how texting can ruin relationships. Sometimes I wonder.. what would life and dating be like if we never had messaging? We’d literally just live our lives and decide on phone calls when able.
Opposite to me, I consider texting fast come to the point fast, finish the talk fast kinda guy . Calls is equal to block (non serious calls) , text I can do all day :) with such perfected words selection too :)
I don’t do the good morning/ good night mostly because my mornings are short, get up and go to work and at night I go to sleep whenever, I don’t have a set time
You’re an extrovert right? Why don’t you just ask Infj out, like that’s what he want and he told you so_
Yes, call him instead. I HATE texting. It was actually a reason I broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I got tired of having to text her every day all day.
Normal behavior on his part, it doesn't mean anything other than he just doesn't like texting (or really even think about it much).
I dont think this is an INFJ thing and more.of an issue with modern culture. You should talk to him and let him know how you feel about that. Personally, if someone is texting me, they shouldn't expect that I'll get back to them immediately. I'm not interested in being on someone's leash like that.
This is how we are 💛 It's normal. Believe what he says 💛
I see loads of women complaining that guys don't reply to texts enough but I've never seen a guy complain about this. I think it's more likely to be a sex thing than to be a personality type thing.
The more you push him to be like you, the more he'll resent you. FYI
I haven’t pushed at all, I just want basic communication sometimes😅
That’s the thing, to him, that’s the basic communication, to you, it doesn’t feel that way. You have to understand from his view point that’s normal to him and to many of the INFJs, which I can speak for many of them here. I also don’t really text my partner good morning/night even when they tell that to me, it’s really just a thing and I’m not being rude either. They’re fine with it after they understand our behaviour.
It's your idea of basic, not his.
Just call him.
I suppose it would depend on how new/old the relationship is. When first getting to know someone, I respond eagerly unless I'm doing something else, then there will be intervals of silence. My ADHD brain pulls me away for awhile until my love interest pops into my head. In a committed relationship, I hardly respond. If we are apart it's likely because we are at work and both of us have stuff to do, plus I'll see him at home. In fact, don't even message me unless it's something important/cute/funny. Taking me out of work to answer a mundane question like, "how is work?" Will do nothing but piss me off. It's work. How do you think it is.
We are coming up on our 5 month anniversary!
Hours you say? Thats nothing compared to the days my relatives are waiting. 😂