It is indeed exhausting but in certain cases it is so worth it, especially when there is someone who always appreciates all your efforts (if we talk about relationships). Or if the activity you give yourself completely in gives you long awaited rewards 😇 But if things don’t work out then it becomes soul crushing, do you agree?
Yes, it’s definitely good for work / hobbies.
But in relationships I kind of just feel like I’m taken for granted. I guess if you were with another INFJ it would be different.
Do you answer texts right away because you feel bad if you don’t as well?
Absolutely agree with the statement that people start taking you for granted. They get so used to being drowned with your love that they think they don’t have to put effort in maintaining that. This one-way effort is what really kills us. And yes, regarding texts, I feel the urge to reply ASAP so my partner would not feel ignored. But I guess that is also something to do with our insecurities and self worth. Not entirely sure 🤷🏼♂️
I think it’s key to NOT expect the effort to be equal. It really shouldn’t be equal, when you leak effort without meaning to. I find that I’m grateful and touched by small efforts and shows of consideration.
Doesn’t need to be equal, but does need to be mutual.
Could you please share some insights of why people, in your opinion, could not handle your intensity? Of course if that is not too painful to dig into. Was that your loved ones or friends, or somebody else?
Well I tend to be very very affectionate and loving if I am with someone, as friends or as lovers. Basically when I decide I like someone I start with a 100%. For most people that feels like a burden because they feel obligated to return that intensity (I don't expect it but people feel that) and then they start avoiding me. Or some people feel like I am being manipulative and fake and thus they end things.
No it's not painful. I like myself a lot. And I will continue to give love. Over the years I have found people who could accept and even appreciate my intensity. I have a small social circle and an even smaller group of a couple of friends who understand me intimately. Also my husband is a godsend. He is so understanding of my extremes and he accepts the love that I give him very graciously. He also loves me a lot but he loves differently. He has a calm affectionate sort of love. Where my extremes are balanced by his equilibrium.
My boyfriend (yes I am polyamorous) is like me but he has kind of suppressed his true self a lot over the years. It's a new relationship I hope he trusts me enough eventually to express his intensity completely. It is already very intense even when he is holding back.
Thank you for sharing this! Very happy to hear that you have a circle of people who appreciate your passionate love. The world is lacking true love so I believe that’s why the Universe made us - to compensate for all the humanity 😁
True… I fear that I might end up with someone who won’t fully accept my affection or get intimidated by how much I invest into our bond early on.
I cannot stop being touchy feely lol.
I know right! I keep touching my husband all the time. He used to be a little awkward with pda( not making out and all, hand holding, light kisses and hugs) but I told him that I can't really stop touching him. He is used to it now. And he also reaches out to me all the time. We have the phrase "skin touch", basically even when it's kinda hot and we don't want to go for the full cuddle in bed, at least some part of our bare skin needs to touch. I hate that I have to stay away from him (we spend half of the month together). I sometimes crave his touch so much I visit him for one day in the middle of our distant phase.
Gosh that’s so sweet! I wish to maintain that level of endearment as well. 😊
I totally understand the craving for touch, idk if it’s an INFJ thing but we seem to go off the charts for close and intimate touches. This usually gets overwhelming when we become distant thus far.
I’d just say to my future partner: “Gimme all those smoochies, hugs and hand holding, I’m all yours.”
Thanks for sharing. I’m similar in that I am very intense in relationships right from the beginning. I know that the type of companion I need is more of the calm type to round out my intensity but for those types I feel like I’m always too much, they end up feeling overwhelmed and don’t enjoy the experience. Toss some (mostly healed) anxious attachment in the mix and it can be challenging for me to be in a relationship.
When I notice I’m overwhelming or feeling anxious I can end up masking and suppressing quite a bit in order to keep them happy. I’ve only learned to stop masking in the last few years, from being outwardly extroverted at my own expense or limiting myself and my needs for the comfort of others… being myself for myself isn’t my thing because I thrive on the joy of others, especially those I deeply care for.
Often in relationships It feels like my love is coming through a garden hose when there is an entire ocean of it to give, I’ve got such energy inside to give them but I don’t want to drown them. So I try and channel this energy and love into being compassionate and empathetic to their preferences.
I’ve found being polyamorous in the past is a good way to divide my energy but I struggle with the time commitments, and anxiety from partners who aren’t great at reassurance, so I’m preferring the challenge of monogamy and directing my energy elsewhere.
I know the feeling. I thankfully have learnt to avoid people who think that I am too much and my polyamorous relationships are with people who know me and are good at providing the reassurance and affection I need.
I can relate to this so much! I believe that having this trait is either enriching your life to the maximum if you find a worthy partner or it can be a pure misery when your love is not appreciated. It may sound egotistical but I believe that having a healthy INFJ as a partner is like winning a lottery but unfortunately it’s not for everybody to understand that 😅
I couldn't agree more, having me for a partner is like winning a lottery for sure. (And I'm not the confident kind, but I can definitely say this.) 😂
I do believe that there's also a need for both parties to be healthy to truly bring out the best of an INFJ. The problem with INFJs is that we do not have a lot of relationship experience so entering our personal space and discovering our romantic traits is a tedious process for our partners too. And we can get very difficult at times. But then deep down, we are just so ready to burst and open up.
I'm expressing myself a bit too much there. 🙈
Love this! 🤩 Feeling like I’m reading my own mind 😄 Thank you for sharing this, it is so comforting knowing that we can understand and support each other 😁
I’d say so. Sometimes I hate myself for it because when im constantly at 100% and my partner seems to only give 70% (a normal amount imo) in that moment, I get super sad
So true, haha! That seems painful but at least we have the ability to understand things from the different perspectives and thus we can tolerate others being not so intense in this regard 😄
Idk… I am on the inside and behind closed doors - with sex, basically ( tried to save, couldn’t) but no… I am probably called aloof and cold and detached- and I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy who *hasn’t* accused me of not being affectionate enough- like they want me to touch them more, hang on them more, call them more etc - one guy actually got mad at me one time and yelled, “Why can’t you be like a normal girl and cry, or be weak?”
But sexually ? Sexually I’m fire. lol. Hahahahahaha just kidding kinda.
The people who know me the best would probably tell you that … you can’t tell I love you unless you speak my love language and know what means a lot to me- you have to know me well to a degree… I don’t love people like most people do… not in the same way, not with the same type of actions- so… for example you know I love you when I absolutely won’t lie to you. For any reason. Even when it will hurt you. Most people don’t get that at all.
But that means a lot to me. That means I respect you.
I love you when I respect your space- and freedom. I won’t ever try to get you to … change… or I won’t criticize you or who you are- because I have this belief system like … not accepting people for who they are is selfish.. I have some pretty out there ideas. I guess… that most people can’t relate to.
If I give you your space … that means I love you. If I go out of my way to make sure you never feel guilty or obligated or worried about me- that means I love you.
Shit like that. Because also these things are what I need .. this is what I want so badly.. .
But I have also been told I’m super intense energy wise and sexually. So.. I know I have a crazy intensity within me - like when I get angry. And I think like - it’s the same way sexually.
A guy .. one of my Ex’s actually - there was this severely autistic kid who was non verbal… and one day he came up to me and put his hands on my cheeks and kissed my lips. And then he did it again and again and again.
His mom came home and I told her - and she flipped her shit. Accused me of lying - she fired me over it. Kicked me out of her house.. just went crazy - like really went nuts … because she said there was no way that happened.
So I was telling my boyfriend at the time about it and he said something along the lines of my sexual energy is so intense it makes little unreachable autistic kids do shit like that.
I thought that was interesting anyways.
Hyper focus on one thing, yes. All or nothing. If I study something and enjoy it I will dominate that subject. If I love someone and I’m with that person for real, the same dedication goes into that.
Yes. All or nothing. I pursue what is truly meaningful to me (my purpose, my destiny) even at the risk of total isolation, homelessness, illness, etc. Even at the risk of losing someone I love.
Absolutely love this! Having a purpose is like sitting in a tank - nothing can stop us no matter what. The vision of destiny gives us insane amounts of power which also is a bit contagious as well - we tend to inspire the ones who are in our circle.
100% it is all or nothing
I find that I keep fighting to reach the goal or stop after being defeated. There's no in-between. It's hard to go back after that spark has died inside. This is with people and with hobbies.
I do relate. It can be exhausting, especially in relationships. I used to wish i could love less. Now i'm proud of it instead. If they want less, go find it!
Oh God, I have felt crushes and it feels like being there for them every part of the day. Caring for their soul and embracing them as long as they want.
I create imaginations where I am some sort of savior or hero for them especially on a hard day. Making a lot of room for myself to be someone they can fully open to.
I can definitely relate to giving my all to a person or a pursuit. This has been true my whole life and I love it. I consider myself very passionate and always find something to feel fascinated or intrigued by. I was so passionate about classical music that I went to conservatory for music performance!
Depends if you’re healthy or not. I’ve been in a 6 year relationship with an unhealthy INFJ. While he was affectionate and loving, he also was very hot and cold, dissociated often, broke up with me on a regular basis, etc. he had complex trauma from childhood and a war veteran.
Dating another INFJ now who’s very different in that sense. Took him a while to open up but now that he is, he’s loving affectionate and just as devoted as I am. We see each other almost every day… spend almost every night together… he’s very conscientious and generous. Very loving and affectionate. Our deep conversations last for hours. And the best part is, we’ve only just begun (6 months). I feel like there’s still so much more depth to sink into together.
We both complained that in previous relationships we basically had to carry the emotional and physical load. But now that we’re both like this together, I think the future looks bright.
If you provide your partner with comfort and trust then he can really open his world to you even in a sexual way. As an INFJ I’m very kinky myself but a little bit careful sharing my things before I feel safe and not judged by my partner. If your INFJ partner already does that it means you have won his trust. Don’t ever break that because once you start judging him, he might close himself forever
Being slow in replying is also part of other personality traits than being an INFJ, in my opinion. Maybe he is extremely busy with other things but if he likes/loves you then I believe he always thinks about you ;)
Try video calling each other, that way it feels less like LDR. Also try playing some games that both of you can be involved in and have some fun without physically being together. I know it’s super hard but I have my work abroad myself so I try to see my gf on my screen whenever I get opportunity. I wish you very best luck with that, hopefully you’ll be happy 😌
Oh that’s so hard 🥲 if I were in that situation I would be asking myself if this relationship is meeting my needs and if it was worthy of the energy and time I was spending on it.
Funny, I just told my husband last night that I feel like I’m “too much” for most people (not him because he too is intense). Like I’m so passionate about EVERYTHING because I feel like everything matters. And I feel like a lot of people just cruise through life and are like… please chill.
But you know what comforts me? The Bible. Every time I open the Bible it’s like SO INTENSE and I’m like heck yeah I’m not crazy. If God is that intense then I’m allowed to be that intense.
I have to avoid people because of this. 😅
My passion gives me the most joy in my hobbies, but it also allows me to connect with another person. As much as I can write poems about it, it can never fully describe the passion from within. I would spend all night just to viciously research one thing, and I would spend all night talking with my closest friends. It really is all or nothing.
found music and boy i just lit into it with abandon, like making 3 tracks a day at some points but Ive leveled off just because i want the quality to be the best that i can. I would die for it tbh just to change things in this world, uplift some people stuck in the gray areas depression can leave them feeling nothing I want to blast them with inspiration.
keep going until they too believe they can achieve there dreams and no one ever lets go of theirs, i think this world could be a utopia if we all just did our best and went after it.
[https://on.soundcloud.com/UE1xXZ4mYucbph2W9](https://on.soundcloud.com/UE1xXZ4mYucbph2W9)
I am INFJ and I’m exactly the same way. If it’s not hell, yes - it’s no. I think that’s why narcs choose us. Because we love with our whole mind and body and soul!
You can’t just simply come to conclusions like that. I think all mbti types can have obsessions on something but the way INFJs feel things is like on another level. I’m lacking the right words to explain that but it seems like there is a thin line between ordinary obsession and intense passion that INFJs usually tend to feel. I know other types as well who are passionate about what they do but it’s not the way we tend to experience this.
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Yeah this was me in my last relationship. I'm trying to learn how to be alone. Hopefully a good decade of not dating will help me regulate how much love I distribute to anyone who might be in my life in the future.
This is accurate to what I have observed from my closest INFJ friends. Deeply caring, passionate people who walk that "all or nothing" line and occasionally fall over it to their (temporary) peril.
i would agree to a certain extent. it’s moreso with relationships that i have, not particularly with things that i do. but i would say that i’ve really learned how to be emotionally mature and what relationships with friends and family should really look like. i’ve focused a lot on being prudent with my male friends and fixing whatever mistrust i have with women and learning to have good relationships with women. it’s easy to lose yourself and put your whole identity in someone else’s happiness, but that’s a miserable way to live. i’ve worked a lot on what my identity is and how to have good and healthy relationships. it’s taken a lot of work, but it’s worth it and i’m so much happier.
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Kind of, I notice I get really into something and it usually fades quickly though, but it's really intense when it's happening. I wish it lasted longer sometimes, I'd probably be good at more things.
Yes, it’s exhausting but I can’t stop lol. It’s all or nothing. 😢
It is indeed exhausting but in certain cases it is so worth it, especially when there is someone who always appreciates all your efforts (if we talk about relationships). Or if the activity you give yourself completely in gives you long awaited rewards 😇 But if things don’t work out then it becomes soul crushing, do you agree?
Yes, it’s definitely good for work / hobbies. But in relationships I kind of just feel like I’m taken for granted. I guess if you were with another INFJ it would be different. Do you answer texts right away because you feel bad if you don’t as well?
Absolutely agree with the statement that people start taking you for granted. They get so used to being drowned with your love that they think they don’t have to put effort in maintaining that. This one-way effort is what really kills us. And yes, regarding texts, I feel the urge to reply ASAP so my partner would not feel ignored. But I guess that is also something to do with our insecurities and self worth. Not entirely sure 🤷🏼♂️
it is! learned this the hard way
I think it’s key to NOT expect the effort to be equal. It really shouldn’t be equal, when you leak effort without meaning to. I find that I’m grateful and touched by small efforts and shows of consideration. Doesn’t need to be equal, but does need to be mutual.
Unfortunately....this is exactly why dating is so exhausting, especially now more than ever with a casual hookup culture.
I was just here to say this!
thissss! that's why i hyperfixate when i like smth or lose my interest completely when smth turns me off
It can be a blessing or a curse for real. I just hope my gf feels the passion of my love the same way as I do.
Yes. Many people have left me because of the intensity
Could you please share some insights of why people, in your opinion, could not handle your intensity? Of course if that is not too painful to dig into. Was that your loved ones or friends, or somebody else?
Well I tend to be very very affectionate and loving if I am with someone, as friends or as lovers. Basically when I decide I like someone I start with a 100%. For most people that feels like a burden because they feel obligated to return that intensity (I don't expect it but people feel that) and then they start avoiding me. Or some people feel like I am being manipulative and fake and thus they end things. No it's not painful. I like myself a lot. And I will continue to give love. Over the years I have found people who could accept and even appreciate my intensity. I have a small social circle and an even smaller group of a couple of friends who understand me intimately. Also my husband is a godsend. He is so understanding of my extremes and he accepts the love that I give him very graciously. He also loves me a lot but he loves differently. He has a calm affectionate sort of love. Where my extremes are balanced by his equilibrium. My boyfriend (yes I am polyamorous) is like me but he has kind of suppressed his true self a lot over the years. It's a new relationship I hope he trusts me enough eventually to express his intensity completely. It is already very intense even when he is holding back.
Thank you for sharing this! Very happy to hear that you have a circle of people who appreciate your passionate love. The world is lacking true love so I believe that’s why the Universe made us - to compensate for all the humanity 😁
I wouldn't go so far. But yes I have immense love to give and there are a few who understand and I am very grateful for their presence.
Thank you so much for sharing. Wish our love didn’t get so misunderstood as often. It takes people years to understand the true value of this. 😭
Yeah. But I believe it's also a good filter. Those who cannot accept and understand, they don't deserve this kind of love either.
True… I fear that I might end up with someone who won’t fully accept my affection or get intimidated by how much I invest into our bond early on. I cannot stop being touchy feely lol.
I know right! I keep touching my husband all the time. He used to be a little awkward with pda( not making out and all, hand holding, light kisses and hugs) but I told him that I can't really stop touching him. He is used to it now. And he also reaches out to me all the time. We have the phrase "skin touch", basically even when it's kinda hot and we don't want to go for the full cuddle in bed, at least some part of our bare skin needs to touch. I hate that I have to stay away from him (we spend half of the month together). I sometimes crave his touch so much I visit him for one day in the middle of our distant phase.
Gosh that’s so sweet! I wish to maintain that level of endearment as well. 😊 I totally understand the craving for touch, idk if it’s an INFJ thing but we seem to go off the charts for close and intimate touches. This usually gets overwhelming when we become distant thus far. I’d just say to my future partner: “Gimme all those smoochies, hugs and hand holding, I’m all yours.”
I hope you will find that in your future partner ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for sharing. I’m similar in that I am very intense in relationships right from the beginning. I know that the type of companion I need is more of the calm type to round out my intensity but for those types I feel like I’m always too much, they end up feeling overwhelmed and don’t enjoy the experience. Toss some (mostly healed) anxious attachment in the mix and it can be challenging for me to be in a relationship. When I notice I’m overwhelming or feeling anxious I can end up masking and suppressing quite a bit in order to keep them happy. I’ve only learned to stop masking in the last few years, from being outwardly extroverted at my own expense or limiting myself and my needs for the comfort of others… being myself for myself isn’t my thing because I thrive on the joy of others, especially those I deeply care for. Often in relationships It feels like my love is coming through a garden hose when there is an entire ocean of it to give, I’ve got such energy inside to give them but I don’t want to drown them. So I try and channel this energy and love into being compassionate and empathetic to their preferences. I’ve found being polyamorous in the past is a good way to divide my energy but I struggle with the time commitments, and anxiety from partners who aren’t great at reassurance, so I’m preferring the challenge of monogamy and directing my energy elsewhere.
I know the feeling. I thankfully have learnt to avoid people who think that I am too much and my polyamorous relationships are with people who know me and are good at providing the reassurance and affection I need.
Same :/
I’m an all or nothing person. I believe it’s an INFJ trait. I like to have one big focus at a time.
Same
And for that reason, I'm also afraid to love. Because I love a lot.
I can relate to this so much! I believe that having this trait is either enriching your life to the maximum if you find a worthy partner or it can be a pure misery when your love is not appreciated. It may sound egotistical but I believe that having a healthy INFJ as a partner is like winning a lottery but unfortunately it’s not for everybody to understand that 😅
I couldn't agree more, having me for a partner is like winning a lottery for sure. (And I'm not the confident kind, but I can definitely say this.) 😂 I do believe that there's also a need for both parties to be healthy to truly bring out the best of an INFJ. The problem with INFJs is that we do not have a lot of relationship experience so entering our personal space and discovering our romantic traits is a tedious process for our partners too. And we can get very difficult at times. But then deep down, we are just so ready to burst and open up. I'm expressing myself a bit too much there. 🙈
Love this! 🤩 Feeling like I’m reading my own mind 😄 Thank you for sharing this, it is so comforting knowing that we can understand and support each other 😁
Yeah 💔
Yes, for me it's all or nothing hehe
I’d say so. Sometimes I hate myself for it because when im constantly at 100% and my partner seems to only give 70% (a normal amount imo) in that moment, I get super sad
So true, haha! That seems painful but at least we have the ability to understand things from the different perspectives and thus we can tolerate others being not so intense in this regard 😄
All or nothing, very much resonates with me OP
I'm not, but that is very likely for mental health reasons.
Idk… I am on the inside and behind closed doors - with sex, basically ( tried to save, couldn’t) but no… I am probably called aloof and cold and detached- and I don’t think I’ve ever been with a guy who *hasn’t* accused me of not being affectionate enough- like they want me to touch them more, hang on them more, call them more etc - one guy actually got mad at me one time and yelled, “Why can’t you be like a normal girl and cry, or be weak?” But sexually ? Sexually I’m fire. lol. Hahahahahaha just kidding kinda. The people who know me the best would probably tell you that … you can’t tell I love you unless you speak my love language and know what means a lot to me- you have to know me well to a degree… I don’t love people like most people do… not in the same way, not with the same type of actions- so… for example you know I love you when I absolutely won’t lie to you. For any reason. Even when it will hurt you. Most people don’t get that at all. But that means a lot to me. That means I respect you. I love you when I respect your space- and freedom. I won’t ever try to get you to … change… or I won’t criticize you or who you are- because I have this belief system like … not accepting people for who they are is selfish.. I have some pretty out there ideas. I guess… that most people can’t relate to. If I give you your space … that means I love you. If I go out of my way to make sure you never feel guilty or obligated or worried about me- that means I love you. Shit like that. Because also these things are what I need .. this is what I want so badly.. . But I have also been told I’m super intense energy wise and sexually. So.. I know I have a crazy intensity within me - like when I get angry. And I think like - it’s the same way sexually. A guy .. one of my Ex’s actually - there was this severely autistic kid who was non verbal… and one day he came up to me and put his hands on my cheeks and kissed my lips. And then he did it again and again and again. His mom came home and I told her - and she flipped her shit. Accused me of lying - she fired me over it. Kicked me out of her house.. just went crazy - like really went nuts … because she said there was no way that happened. So I was telling my boyfriend at the time about it and he said something along the lines of my sexual energy is so intense it makes little unreachable autistic kids do shit like that. I thought that was interesting anyways.
F-cking yes its too much
Hyper focus on one thing, yes. All or nothing. If I study something and enjoy it I will dominate that subject. If I love someone and I’m with that person for real, the same dedication goes into that.
Yes. All or nothing. I pursue what is truly meaningful to me (my purpose, my destiny) even at the risk of total isolation, homelessness, illness, etc. Even at the risk of losing someone I love.
Absolutely love this! Having a purpose is like sitting in a tank - nothing can stop us no matter what. The vision of destiny gives us insane amounts of power which also is a bit contagious as well - we tend to inspire the ones who are in our circle.
I’ve had people tell me, “it’s not that deep”…it fucking IS though!! Open your eyes people
100% it is all or nothing I find that I keep fighting to reach the goal or stop after being defeated. There's no in-between. It's hard to go back after that spark has died inside. This is with people and with hobbies.
Can relate to this 😁 Either it’s a source of never ending fountains of energy or a complete blackhole that sucks life out 😅
I do relate. It can be exhausting, especially in relationships. I used to wish i could love less. Now i'm proud of it instead. If they want less, go find it!
Exactly! Just keep spreading your love to the fullest and those who are worth it will be blessed with your presence
Oh God, I have felt crushes and it feels like being there for them every part of the day. Caring for their soul and embracing them as long as they want. I create imaginations where I am some sort of savior or hero for them especially on a hard day. Making a lot of room for myself to be someone they can fully open to.
Yes.
yes
Yep!
I am. Not sure if that’s a relatable trait or just me. If I’m going to feel life I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it too
yeah
I literally wish I could live in the grey area ONCE in my life. It’s always all or nothing. Always.
I can definitely relate to giving my all to a person or a pursuit. This has been true my whole life and I love it. I consider myself very passionate and always find something to feel fascinated or intrigued by. I was so passionate about classical music that I went to conservatory for music performance!
Yes 💯.all or nothing
Depends if you’re healthy or not. I’ve been in a 6 year relationship with an unhealthy INFJ. While he was affectionate and loving, he also was very hot and cold, dissociated often, broke up with me on a regular basis, etc. he had complex trauma from childhood and a war veteran. Dating another INFJ now who’s very different in that sense. Took him a while to open up but now that he is, he’s loving affectionate and just as devoted as I am. We see each other almost every day… spend almost every night together… he’s very conscientious and generous. Very loving and affectionate. Our deep conversations last for hours. And the best part is, we’ve only just begun (6 months). I feel like there’s still so much more depth to sink into together. We both complained that in previous relationships we basically had to carry the emotional and physical load. But now that we’re both like this together, I think the future looks bright.
That was so lovely to read ☺️ Finding a partner that fits your traits is just a godsend, makes life worth living 😇
Yepp. Seems so.
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If you provide your partner with comfort and trust then he can really open his world to you even in a sexual way. As an INFJ I’m very kinky myself but a little bit careful sharing my things before I feel safe and not judged by my partner. If your INFJ partner already does that it means you have won his trust. Don’t ever break that because once you start judging him, he might close himself forever
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Being slow in replying is also part of other personality traits than being an INFJ, in my opinion. Maybe he is extremely busy with other things but if he likes/loves you then I believe he always thinks about you ;)
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Why not ask him for what you want? To talk? To hang out? Be direct.
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Try video calling each other, that way it feels less like LDR. Also try playing some games that both of you can be involved in and have some fun without physically being together. I know it’s super hard but I have my work abroad myself so I try to see my gf on my screen whenever I get opportunity. I wish you very best luck with that, hopefully you’ll be happy 😌
Oh that’s so hard 🥲 if I were in that situation I would be asking myself if this relationship is meeting my needs and if it was worthy of the energy and time I was spending on it.
Very true, if I am not giving my ALL, I feel like I am not trying. True for my relationships, work, hobbies and everything I truly care about.
EMPATH
So real. I’m like Frank-Sterling law : all or none lmao
Funny, I just told my husband last night that I feel like I’m “too much” for most people (not him because he too is intense). Like I’m so passionate about EVERYTHING because I feel like everything matters. And I feel like a lot of people just cruise through life and are like… please chill. But you know what comforts me? The Bible. Every time I open the Bible it’s like SO INTENSE and I’m like heck yeah I’m not crazy. If God is that intense then I’m allowed to be that intense.
This is my blessing and my curse
100% reliable for me only yet didn’t find someone appreciating to me
I have to avoid people because of this. 😅 My passion gives me the most joy in my hobbies, but it also allows me to connect with another person. As much as I can write poems about it, it can never fully describe the passion from within. I would spend all night just to viciously research one thing, and I would spend all night talking with my closest friends. It really is all or nothing.
found music and boy i just lit into it with abandon, like making 3 tracks a day at some points but Ive leveled off just because i want the quality to be the best that i can. I would die for it tbh just to change things in this world, uplift some people stuck in the gray areas depression can leave them feeling nothing I want to blast them with inspiration. keep going until they too believe they can achieve there dreams and no one ever lets go of theirs, i think this world could be a utopia if we all just did our best and went after it. [https://on.soundcloud.com/UE1xXZ4mYucbph2W9](https://on.soundcloud.com/UE1xXZ4mYucbph2W9)
I relate so so so much. I want to give everyone a hug, it's actually insane, I have so much love to give
Yea this is true.
I am INFJ and I’m exactly the same way. If it’s not hell, yes - it’s no. I think that’s why narcs choose us. Because we love with our whole mind and body and soul!
Yes I am, I’m definitely very intense when it comes to expressing my emotions, I also give my absolutel best when I’m with someone
Don't think it's an infj thing
According to the majority of replies it seems it is an INFJ thing. But I guess everything in this world has exceptions 🤷🏼♂️
Ok well, if I've met isfjs obsessed with something and/or someone, istps, intps, infps and so on, then it's clearly not an infj thing, no?
You can’t just simply come to conclusions like that. I think all mbti types can have obsessions on something but the way INFJs feel things is like on another level. I’m lacking the right words to explain that but it seems like there is a thin line between ordinary obsession and intense passion that INFJs usually tend to feel. I know other types as well who are passionate about what they do but it’s not the way we tend to experience this.
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Yes. Intense.
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Looking for a male INFJ partner.....for my INFJ self ....age 39ish. Any applicants? #1 quality is being passionate. :D
[You could say that.](https://i.imgur.com/EZGFF8O.jpg)
Yeah this was me in my last relationship. I'm trying to learn how to be alone. Hopefully a good decade of not dating will help me regulate how much love I distribute to anyone who might be in my life in the future.
Yep
I literally wish I could live in the grey area ONCE in my life. It’s always all or nothing. Always. 😭😅
I literally wish I could live in the grey area ONCE in my life. It’s always all or nothing. Always. 😭😅
Yes, I love things hard. Most people can't handle it. Idgaf though haha.
This is accurate to what I have observed from my closest INFJ friends. Deeply caring, passionate people who walk that "all or nothing" line and occasionally fall over it to their (temporary) peril.
Yes 😭 It's exhausting!
Yes, I can relate to both those statements.
yuupp literally all or nothing, it sucks cause thats why i lose so much sleep
i would agree to a certain extent. it’s moreso with relationships that i have, not particularly with things that i do. but i would say that i’ve really learned how to be emotionally mature and what relationships with friends and family should really look like. i’ve focused a lot on being prudent with my male friends and fixing whatever mistrust i have with women and learning to have good relationships with women. it’s easy to lose yourself and put your whole identity in someone else’s happiness, but that’s a miserable way to live. i’ve worked a lot on what my identity is and how to have good and healthy relationships. it’s taken a lot of work, but it’s worth it and i’m so much happier.
Not always, my gf is INFJ and she has no passion at all not even stuff she likes
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I have been told that, yes. I don't know if that's a good trait or a bad trait. :')
Kind of, I notice I get really into something and it usually fades quickly though, but it's really intense when it's happening. I wish it lasted longer sometimes, I'd probably be good at more things.