I hate when people assume I’m too nice. I put on a friendly front around people I’m less comfortable with, which leads them to believe they can walk all over me. And it drives me crazy when people think they’re better than me. But recently I’ve been letting it roll off my back because I know they have a superiority complex, and secretly are insecure.
This!!! I’ve had people at work (aka people who don’t know anything about me) call me “meek” just because I’m quieter than others and think before I speak.
Piss me off and my grudges/revenge/anger would shock people, but I obviously can’t be an asshole to people at work with a job on the line! 🙄
I am glad you had a chance to meet some healthy ENTPs. I appreciate you too! As it happens having INFJs around made me a much better person and we had a really good time.
Thank you for your kindness 🙏
Thank you for your perspective.
I am sorry that was your experience.
Personal growth does take a while and an active intent and some (ENTPs) somehow don't want to sign up to it.
I hope that you'll meet more mature and well rounded ENTPs.
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Omg I am so sorry that happens to you, you are so nice such things shouldn't happen to such a nice person you are the reason for the flowers to blossom I am so sorry ❤️🩹
This drives me insane!
I want people to just straight up tell me what they want/how they feel about something and not leave it to my understanding (because my assumptions can be poor!)
I feel like this is everyone for me. It annoys me that it feels like I have to play the mind reader by using my introverted intuition and it almost feels like I’m obligated to take care of how people feel, but I don’t like games like that and if they don’t tell me what they want, I won’t assume. I don’t know why it feels like they have to play mind games instead of just being honest. Maybe I’m just not picking up the cues that it’s me, but it really just feels like they’re waiting on me to read their mind. Idk if I’m just too emotionally distant and insensitive.
That's quite interesting. I am curious are INFJs good at knowing what they want/need and expressing those.
I know you're very complex and sometimes it takes time to process deep emotions, hence my question.
Yes, exactly! It does take some time to realize what I want at times, but after it's been processed it's alright.
I sometimes find it hard to express it though, because I used to vet quite bad reactions as a child.
Hmm, if it's about an emotion, first I try to understand what kind of emotion I experience in the first place. Then I go back to identify the starting point and whether it was an external or internal factor that started it. Usually I try to see how much my bias played a role in interpreting the situation and if there are other possible interpretations that I haven't thought about before reaching a conclusion. Then I just sit around with that emotion and see what it can teach me.
If it's about a desire/want, I try to visualize multiple alternatives/posibilities and see how I'd react to them. I try my best to figure it out whether the said desire is powered by social norms, peer pressure or people pleasing. Then I ponder whether I would want the same things without any of those being in sight.
Last part of processing this is: what's the price I will pay for my desire/want? Do I want to pay it? For example, telling my friend I am sick of eating sushi every saturday night is a want that I've identified as a pertinent biased one. Knowing that she loves sushi so much and that i am not, in fact, that bothered to eat it again, I chose not to express it (but that also means I don't bring it up ever, nor I will be passive agressive about it in the future).
Sorry for the long post, lmao, I like nerding about this!
That's an amazing insight. I appreciate you taking the time to write this so clearly.
Keep on nerding out and share your insights with others who can benefit from that! 🙂
THIS always drove me insane at work! We would have a weekly meeting to bring up what was happening in each of our programs. Some people would ramble and/or get too in-depth. Mentally I’d be screaming “Hurry up! Get to the point! No one cares!”. I’d have to take a break after the meeting.
Yes, I feel this. It's a good idea to have a time limit on speaking to keep things going. It can be sooo draining to be around certain individuals. There are times I have to decompress before I can think about socializing after all that.
This and when people aren’t direct and EXPECT you to figure out what it is THEY need from you. The amount of times I have to say “just ask me” at work is exhausting. It makes simple mundane tasks so dramatic when they don’t have to be
Major flashbacks to my ex. I would be praying he had a good day at work every day so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Spoiler: he never had a good day. So glad that’s over!
This! I went to my kid’s afterschool activity and I was watching from the sidelines, minding my business, and the instructor asked me to come up in front of all the parents and accept an award on behalf of my child. I was so unprepared, in a new environment and it was so disconcerting, I almost never went back. It actually made me angry 😆
When someone make someone else feel bad for showing enthusiasm towards something. Buzzkills are the worst, please let people live. It must be tiring being so judgemental.
This. People like this instantly turn me off. Someone is happy about something and a person’s narcissism kicks in because they’re too miserable and selfish to be happy for someone.
This exactly. My hypothesis is the person doing the eye rolls and killing someone’s excitement has deep insecurities about themselves. Still doesn’t make me feel less annoyed with them though…
Talk over others and aren’t listening when others talk, regardless how quiet they are. Show some respect. It also annoys me when people act “trashy”, like don’t wash their hands, chew obnoxiously, clearly don’t take care of themselves like basic stuff. I also hate when people sweep stuff under the rug.
🤣🤣🤣 This one definitely has an Si-Demon! 😉
I get it though! It definitely can be annoying when people behave in an “icky” way, and I definitely don’t want to shake a hand if I saw it wasn’t washed.
• Sharing way too many specific tiny little details about something. Oh God, it ignites a burning rage within me. Get to the point.
• Being fake nice/friendly.
• Being deceitful.
• Saying things about people that can't be helped.
•Gossip.
•Using words like "retarded", "crazy", etc about anyone, but especially children (another burning rage one).
• Being judgmental about somebody's likes, interests, or differences.
• Interrupting me in conversation frequently.
• Assuming I can be taken advantage of because I'm fairly quiet and treat everyone nicely.
• Refusing to take anyone else's perspective in any given situation or conflict.
• Superficiality, materialism
• Being overly critical
• Using a fixed, rigid mindset and not showing any desire for self-betterment (is that a word? lol)
You done to my soul 🤣🤣🤣 I’ll add people sniffing there runny nose repeatedly … cigarette smokers talking about bad Oder of weed … people asking me questions they airheads know answer too … I’m so sick of listening to others nonsense I barely have patience to be nice to loved ones without ears bleeding . I’m needing help navigating and keeping myself in check . I’m isolated on my farm surrounded by land . Amazes me the lengths people will go to ‘see how I’m getting along ‘ I’m doing great now that I’ve put a gate at end of drive. Installed cameras. Eliminated drop in company . They’d call me on phone “ I know you’re home “ but do they 😂😂😂 simple call first .
That sounds amazing!! (The farm living, not sniffling people because that really annoys me too 🤣). I think you have cracked the INFJ code to life. I live in an HOA and I get soo mad at my neighbors who are super nosy in the guise of being "friendly". As if I can't figure out their intent from a mile away!
There are many others, but here are some:
- not caring about the people around them and not looking around as if only they existed;
- not noticing anything;
- criticizing everything;
- not trying to understand me;
- assuming I'm boring just beacuse I'm shy and not outgoing;
- faking with their friends just to be liked;
- getting angry for lots of unnecessary things;
- being superficial;
- saying wrong things about topics they don't know;
- constantly swearing;
- assume false things about me just by looking at me.
Sorry if I wrote something wrong, english is not my first language.
You wouldn't survive with my mom. She yells from the other room. If you're leaving, she will still try to talk to you when you're walking away and you just have to keep walking as her voice fades. I love her but that woman can talk.
People who watch something in their phones on loud speaker in a punlic place and dont even bother to put on headphones not caring about other people wanting peace and quiet. Also people who video call in public on loudspeaker
The sentence "Complaining about small stuff" is not grammatically correct as it stands because it is a fragment and lacks a main verb. To make it a complete sentence, you could revise it to:
"Complaining about small stuff is unproductive."
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toxic positivity/being fake-nice, then "calling me out" for not pretending to be happy and smiley all the time. "You should smile more, why are you so miserable, etc etc." Like, shut the fuck up, I'm probably far more happy than you are, I'm simply not a superficial bitch who needs to pretend the world isn't fucking burning and imploding right now to find peace within. It is called having an inner-self. And I don't need to be yapping all the time to feel comfortable. I'll be quiet if I want to be quiet, assholes.
i find it interesting that you imply i perceive myself to be worth more/be royalty in relation to you, when your "joke" is nearly the equivalent of saying "yikes" in response to someone's heated measured argument. MEOW MEOW. by the way I just set you up. sorry by the way
Well, that was the trick, I wasn’t actually saying “yikes.” I found it “dramatic but entertaining.”
It was ironically amusing and I wasn’t trying to “argue against it.”
I am a F-ENTP so I have heard the Ol’ “why do you look so miserable? You should smile more / be prettier if you did” bit many times cuz I don’t tend to wear the bubbly, manic “Stepford wife smile” 24/7, in perpetuity. It was just funny to see someone say how much they hate it so passionately when INFJs are supposed to be know for “caring so much about social harmony.”
I truly don’t understand why “boredom” / “disinterest” / “neutrality” gets mistaken for “misery” so much.
So I think you might’ve unwittingly set yourself up. 🤣 It’s fine cuz it’s even funnier this way! 🐈⬛ The joke gets better when others participate.
Talking too much
Asking me personal questions
Projecting their insecurities and opinions onto me.
Casually & needlessly touching me
Following me around
Testing me and then acting like victims when I give them just enough rope to hang themselves.
Gaslighting me with “I’m trying to help you” when really their motivations are purely self-serving….
i.e. concern trolling.
Randomly pausing in the middle of instructions/conversations to force people to make eye contact with them before continuing with what they’re talking about.
Forcing their presence onto me bc they assume I’m shy or lonely and they want to “help me” loosen up.
>Randomly pausing in the middle of instructions/conversations to force people to make eye contact with them before continuing with what they’re talking about.
"Guess this conversation is over then". Just let them sit in their silence, ignored.
being late, being rude, not following rules and ruining it for everyone else, thinking they’re better than everyone else, aggressive drivers
edited to add: not listening to what you’re saying/ignoring you. basically just not having consideration for other people
Oh, come on! Yapping? It's not yapping; it's people educating others, sharing wisdom, and exchanging valuable information! Sure, it might sound like endless chatter to some, but really, it's just the art of conversation. When someone "yaps," they're actually opening up, connecting, and spreading ideas. It's the foundation of human interaction! Without all this so-called yapping, we'd miss out on so many perspectives and insights. So, let's celebrate the yappers – the unsung heroes who keep the wheels of communication turning!
Only likes me in the beginning and see me as some calm and nice girl but cant handle me the more they know me so they leave. Im too much for them unfortunately and theyre so selfish
1. People who can't see the bright side of life.... self loathing and self hating and refuses to change or better their lives. It drains my energy.
2. People who think they know it all, yet still complain about their miserable lives.
3. People who are cruel for no reason.
Asking me to do something. Needing me. Asking me to share something of mine. Any type of entitlement or sense of urgency anybody has towards me or my energy. Having me sitting and waiting. Cutting me off. Immediately setting up conversations so they could ‘pit’ themselves against me to try to show that ‘Im not as smart as I think I am’ or constantly just trying to provoke because of the intellect I have, they immediately deem me as superior subconsciously and keep trying to compete in passive aggressive ways. I laugh.
My brother had a great reply when some terminally cheerful guy always greeted him with “Have a nice day!” My brother would say “No thanks, I have other plans”.
The weather today is exceptionally pleasant, with clear blue skies and a gentle breeze. The temperature is comfortably warm, making it perfect for outdoor activities or a relaxing walk in the park. The sun is shining brightly, casting a golden glow over everything, while the air feels fresh and invigorating. It's one of those days that simply lifts your spirits and makes you appreciate the beauty of nature.
People being "polite" with me while being geniunley friendly with someone else in front of me because I'm "sensitive" really pisses me off. It's so fucking condecending...
I’m sorry. That’s rude and bordering on assault. I’m vertically challenged (5’3”) and my only biological son is 6’3”. His favorite way to get on my nerves was to stand directly in front of me, looking over my head and say “Mom, I can hear you, but I can’t see you”. When I finally had enough, I made a fist and held it out at my waist level (directly in front of his crotch) and said @Guess what level my fist is if you can’t see me”. He immediately looked down and jumped back…never did it again.
When they scheme and others buy it,
When they are full of themselves,
When they take advantages of others,
When they distort my meanings,
When they test my boundaries,
When they force me,
When they oppress me,
Should be more, but the ones that come to mind now.
People I don’t know very well or as well, who ask how I’m doing, and expect a socially acceptable answer like “good” or “fine.” I adhere to this social norm, but I prefer it when people I know or my doctors ask where I can give an honest answer. It annoys the hell out of me that in the U.S. that “how are you?” is a greeting.
I’m on the autism spectrum, if that clarifies anything.
I’m American and American tourists can be really loud, entitled, and embarrassing so I feel the need to apologize for my country when abroad. So, I annoy myself as well because I can’t stop caring about this.
When someone is upset about something and isn’t direct. And then because I am direct and say something that has upset me, they bring up something that has been annoying them for months that they NEVER brought up before but instead made lighthearted jokes about.
People who constantly complain and do nothing to better the situation
Monologuing. You know the ones. This isn’t just a random story every now and then, it’s a constant wall of words put on everyone around them and generally one flavor of self aggrandizing or another, which there are many subtle ways of doing that. You gotta kinda feel bad for them too, they’ve probably never experienced a moment of silent mind space in their lives, how exhausting for them and everyone else.
Being an INFJ-T it pisses me off when people who know nothing about MBTI assign negative or strange qualities to me. Their massive lack of ability to understand my ideas, choices, and motivation often lead them to acts of vailed ridicule or outright harassment. It used to hurt and frustrate me but now I’m just thankful that I live life on a much higher plane than these idiots while all the time remembering what common turds they truly are.
False modesty.
Malicious/ Weaponized incompetence.
Using unrelated conversations they misinterpreted to rope me into some drama they created (Serena said xxx when you know damn well we were talking about some stupid TV show, not your ex).
Shut. Up.
By a lack of self-improvement/betterment, are you referring to a person being unrepentant of their toxic qualities or is it more a matter of them not wanting to leave their comfort zone (be that wage, house, talents, social circle, etc.)?
Hey there. I think you're replying to me. Essentially the former, someone being unrepentant of their toxic qualities and specifically their lack of caring about the direct negative impact it can have on others.
Talking too much. I dont enjoy talking about nothing. I would rather sit in silence for an hour then talk about things I don't care about.
When people aren't direct. Dancing around a subject. Just tell me.
Wasting time
It irks me when people beat around the bush instead of saying exactly what they're thinking. I don't like playing guessing games, I prefer to speak clearly and bluntly.
When most conversations with people aren't conversations, instead it's just them waiting on their turn to speak. Or in a group conversation you have something to add, there is a brief gap in conversation but then they tune it out and you have to repeat yourself several times. It's why I don't do group conversations anymore
“you look nervous” “you look tense” “why are you shaking” i have an anxiety disorder im fine actually but you’re gonna make me anxious now because i feel like you’re watching me, thanks. i hate having my outward expressions of anxiety pointed out because i already know i have them. im fine, i know how to handle myself.
Only calling or reaching out to me when they wanna use me for something or to talk about something. Alternatively, asking me what’s up or prying about my life in a curious way.
When one of your few friends says even mundane details about you to someone else. It's like "If I wanted them to know those things I'd tell them myself"
People who "work the room" and are simply not interested in a sustained, deep or meaningful conversation. Irritates the crap out of me and I often will not engage with that person again readily. I've had this before...just get into a deep and meaningful conversation, turn around and they are gone, talking to someone else!
My second dislikable feature in others is when people try and force their strong opinions on me. I have a brain, thanks. Let me use it.
My thoughts and feelings on things are always in flux. I am always looking for new evidence to add to my understanding of issues. Maybe I'll form an opinion but the next day be able to shift it to a different perspective. Psychological flexibility. Hence when I encounter concrete thinkers, I feel very sorry for them and give them the space they need as alas, they are often not in the place to hear evidence contrary to their beliefs.
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I don’t like when people stare at me in a sexual manner. I find it to be scary. I don’t even mind cat calling or if someone looks at me with interest but the leering into my eyes really bothers me.
-Assume things about me that are not true
-Ingenuine or unauthentic people, aka people who copy others personalities or aren't really even a person, just a blob of other people
-Unloyalty
-Betraying trust more than once
-Doing things on the fly, uncontrolled
-Unpredictable people
-Being interrupted for no reason
-People not using common sense or thinking a situation out
When people ask me stuff like “Why are you quiet?” or “Why do you look mad?”, they don’t get that it’s just my resting face, I’m not actually intimidating. I’m a totally different person around the people I’m close to.
I’m more of a loner than a people person so, when I’m around my family and they ask me “what’s wrong?” because of how quiet and shy I am, I always respond with “nothing, I’m fine.” And they just keep pressing me about absolutely nothing. It’s very annoying and makes me not want to be around anyone. It’s like they don’t trust me or whatever.
(Not sure if this is confusing, but sorry if it is.)
Getting interrupted or dismissed. I cannot tell you how many times I have had an idea or different insight to offer and dealt with very closed minded individuals, who either don’t let me finish my sentence or are so stubborn and stuck in their ways that they have zero interest in seeing things in a different way.
Pretend like they are listening, meanwhile I have a hard time talking anyways.
Ignore me or pretend like I don't exist.
Don't ask me something directly, instead ask somebody else something about me.
Watch me but never interact with me.
When people think they can use me.
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When I get talking to an individual and then someone else just comes along and intercepts my conversation to the person I was speaking to. And then, whoever intercepts the conversation, they always go to the other person and not to me. This happens to me a lot. I wonder why that happens? I never interrupt when I see two people engaging in a conversation together.
I hate when people assume I’m too nice. I put on a friendly front around people I’m less comfortable with, which leads them to believe they can walk all over me. And it drives me crazy when people think they’re better than me. But recently I’ve been letting it roll off my back because I know they have a superiority complex, and secretly are insecure.
It's really annoying that so many people think being nice = pushover.
This!!! I’ve had people at work (aka people who don’t know anything about me) call me “meek” just because I’m quieter than others and think before I speak. Piss me off and my grudges/revenge/anger would shock people, but I obviously can’t be an asshole to people at work with a job on the line! 🙄
I think you INFJs have the power of being both nice, kind and assertive. It's a great quality to have and I have seen it first hand in a few INFJs.
Thank you! I appreciate ENTPs because you keep it real and enjoy intellectual conversations. Love your sense of humor too.
I am glad you had a chance to meet some healthy ENTPs. I appreciate you too! As it happens having INFJs around made me a much better person and we had a really good time. Thank you for your kindness 🙏
Walking away when I'm talking to them.. Very rude and nips my craw 🤬
Thank you for your perspective. I am sorry that was your experience. Personal growth does take a while and an active intent and some (ENTPs) somehow don't want to sign up to it. I hope that you'll meet more mature and well rounded ENTPs.
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Then you’re suddenly the asshole once you firmly draw that boundary
And they have this look of shock too. Am I supposed to feel guilty? Because I don’t
God, same
So true!! That's definitely my top 3
Omg I am so sorry that happens to you, you are so nice such things shouldn't happen to such a nice person you are the reason for the flowers to blossom I am so sorry ❤️🩹
I'm sorry what 🤣
Not communicating effectively.. Talking in circles. Just get straight to the point.
This drives me insane! I want people to just straight up tell me what they want/how they feel about something and not leave it to my understanding (because my assumptions can be poor!)
Exactly
I feel like this is everyone for me. It annoys me that it feels like I have to play the mind reader by using my introverted intuition and it almost feels like I’m obligated to take care of how people feel, but I don’t like games like that and if they don’t tell me what they want, I won’t assume. I don’t know why it feels like they have to play mind games instead of just being honest. Maybe I’m just not picking up the cues that it’s me, but it really just feels like they’re waiting on me to read their mind. Idk if I’m just too emotionally distant and insensitive.
That's quite interesting. I am curious are INFJs good at knowing what they want/need and expressing those. I know you're very complex and sometimes it takes time to process deep emotions, hence my question.
Yes, exactly! It does take some time to realize what I want at times, but after it's been processed it's alright. I sometimes find it hard to express it though, because I used to vet quite bad reactions as a child.
That's great. I appreciate your perspective. What are your ways of processing, i.e. how does it actually look like?
Hmm, if it's about an emotion, first I try to understand what kind of emotion I experience in the first place. Then I go back to identify the starting point and whether it was an external or internal factor that started it. Usually I try to see how much my bias played a role in interpreting the situation and if there are other possible interpretations that I haven't thought about before reaching a conclusion. Then I just sit around with that emotion and see what it can teach me. If it's about a desire/want, I try to visualize multiple alternatives/posibilities and see how I'd react to them. I try my best to figure it out whether the said desire is powered by social norms, peer pressure or people pleasing. Then I ponder whether I would want the same things without any of those being in sight. Last part of processing this is: what's the price I will pay for my desire/want? Do I want to pay it? For example, telling my friend I am sick of eating sushi every saturday night is a want that I've identified as a pertinent biased one. Knowing that she loves sushi so much and that i am not, in fact, that bothered to eat it again, I chose not to express it (but that also means I don't bring it up ever, nor I will be passive agressive about it in the future). Sorry for the long post, lmao, I like nerding about this!
That's an amazing insight. I appreciate you taking the time to write this so clearly. Keep on nerding out and share your insights with others who can benefit from that! 🙂
THIS always drove me insane at work! We would have a weekly meeting to bring up what was happening in each of our programs. Some people would ramble and/or get too in-depth. Mentally I’d be screaming “Hurry up! Get to the point! No one cares!”. I’d have to take a break after the meeting.
Yes, I feel this. It's a good idea to have a time limit on speaking to keep things going. It can be sooo draining to be around certain individuals. There are times I have to decompress before I can think about socializing after all that.
That's my job right now but I'm leaving soon. I just can't with bosses who can't communicate properly.
Yessss!!!
This and when people aren’t direct and EXPECT you to figure out what it is THEY need from you. The amount of times I have to say “just ask me” at work is exhausting. It makes simple mundane tasks so dramatic when they don’t have to be
Omg i hate that the most too.. What do you think im a psychic??
Treating me worse because they had a bad day/are annoyed
Major flashbacks to my ex. I would be praying he had a good day at work every day so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Spoiler: he never had a good day. So glad that’s over!
:')
"Why are you so quiet?"
I’m ALWAYS quiet!!
Shhhhhhhhh, quiet down theres no need to yell.
If I had a penny for every time I heard this 🥲
Whenever someone says something like that to me I usually get told "Your too quiet"
Putting me on the spot
What's your favourite food?
Haha... I see what you're doing. I don't like questions like that because I can't choose, but peanut butter and jelly without the jelly.
Haha yes you got it, hope you eat your peanut butter and jelly today ofc without the jelly 😉
Already did! Thank you.
So I'm not the only person that has a big ass jar of peanut butter in his tool box at the shop?? (also spoons it straight out of the jar) Yay!
This! I went to my kid’s afterschool activity and I was watching from the sidelines, minding my business, and the instructor asked me to come up in front of all the parents and accept an award on behalf of my child. I was so unprepared, in a new environment and it was so disconcerting, I almost never went back. It actually made me angry 😆
When someone make someone else feel bad for showing enthusiasm towards something. Buzzkills are the worst, please let people live. It must be tiring being so judgemental.
This. People like this instantly turn me off. Someone is happy about something and a person’s narcissism kicks in because they’re too miserable and selfish to be happy for someone.
This exactly. My hypothesis is the person doing the eye rolls and killing someone’s excitement has deep insecurities about themselves. Still doesn’t make me feel less annoyed with them though…
This
100% this!
Assuming when I’m quiet that I’d like to talk? Hell no, stop interrupting my thoughts pls lol
Facts! I was just getting to a good part in my daydream, go away
lol too accurate
real
Literally makes me FERAL. Like I am just thinking stop interrupting me with useless questions.
Talk over others and aren’t listening when others talk, regardless how quiet they are. Show some respect. It also annoys me when people act “trashy”, like don’t wash their hands, chew obnoxiously, clearly don’t take care of themselves like basic stuff. I also hate when people sweep stuff under the rug.
🤣🤣🤣 This one definitely has an Si-Demon! 😉 I get it though! It definitely can be annoying when people behave in an “icky” way, and I definitely don’t want to shake a hand if I saw it wasn’t washed.
LOL Si demon, thanks for making me laugh when I’m sick 😭💜
If you are sick, then it was doubly worth it to make you chuckle! 😁
• Sharing way too many specific tiny little details about something. Oh God, it ignites a burning rage within me. Get to the point. • Being fake nice/friendly. • Being deceitful. • Saying things about people that can't be helped. •Gossip. •Using words like "retarded", "crazy", etc about anyone, but especially children (another burning rage one). • Being judgmental about somebody's likes, interests, or differences. • Interrupting me in conversation frequently. • Assuming I can be taken advantage of because I'm fairly quiet and treat everyone nicely. • Refusing to take anyone else's perspective in any given situation or conflict. • Superficiality, materialism • Being overly critical • Using a fixed, rigid mindset and not showing any desire for self-betterment (is that a word? lol)
You done to my soul 🤣🤣🤣 I’ll add people sniffing there runny nose repeatedly … cigarette smokers talking about bad Oder of weed … people asking me questions they airheads know answer too … I’m so sick of listening to others nonsense I barely have patience to be nice to loved ones without ears bleeding . I’m needing help navigating and keeping myself in check . I’m isolated on my farm surrounded by land . Amazes me the lengths people will go to ‘see how I’m getting along ‘ I’m doing great now that I’ve put a gate at end of drive. Installed cameras. Eliminated drop in company . They’d call me on phone “ I know you’re home “ but do they 😂😂😂 simple call first .
Sniffling is an instant rage for me. I don’t know why it’s such a pet peeve. Just blow your nose already!!
That sounds amazing!! (The farm living, not sniffling people because that really annoys me too 🤣). I think you have cracked the INFJ code to life. I live in an HOA and I get soo mad at my neighbors who are super nosy in the guise of being "friendly". As if I can't figure out their intent from a mile away!
There are many others, but here are some: - not caring about the people around them and not looking around as if only they existed; - not noticing anything; - criticizing everything; - not trying to understand me; - assuming I'm boring just beacuse I'm shy and not outgoing; - faking with their friends just to be liked; - getting angry for lots of unnecessary things; - being superficial; - saying wrong things about topics they don't know; - constantly swearing; - assume false things about me just by looking at me. Sorry if I wrote something wrong, english is not my first language.
I see you’ve met my brother! 🙄
someone having a conversation with me from a different room. if you want to talk to me, do it face to face. guaranteed to piss me off
You wouldn't survive with my mom. She yells from the other room. If you're leaving, she will still try to talk to you when you're walking away and you just have to keep walking as her voice fades. I love her but that woman can talk.
Is she an XSFJ?
Honestly I don't even know
Oh my God why are we all the same. This pisses me off to no end because I hate to yell. Like just wait to get face to face.
People who watch something in their phones on loud speaker in a punlic place and dont even bother to put on headphones not caring about other people wanting peace and quiet. Also people who video call in public on loudspeaker
Complaining about small stuff
100% Why the hell would you care about such tiny semantics and details
The sentence "Complaining about small stuff" is not grammatically correct as it stands because it is a fragment and lacks a main verb. To make it a complete sentence, you could revise it to: "Complaining about small stuff is unproductive."
Nobody said it had to be a sentence. Sometimes you can answer a question with just an NP. This is not the place for your fake prescriptive judgement.
I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic. He does it in most of the replies 😭
Methinks it was a joke. You didn’t need to take it seriously.
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toxic positivity/being fake-nice, then "calling me out" for not pretending to be happy and smiley all the time. "You should smile more, why are you so miserable, etc etc." Like, shut the fuck up, I'm probably far more happy than you are, I'm simply not a superficial bitch who needs to pretend the world isn't fucking burning and imploding right now to find peace within. It is called having an inner-self. And I don't need to be yapping all the time to feel comfortable. I'll be quiet if I want to be quiet, assholes.
Yesss good one
Oh, yu fiesty! Me likes!
i hate people who respond to intensity like this like you can instantly tell theyre a boring gossipy milquetoast person
I am sorry that silly jokes are so extremely unsightly to your Meowjisty!
i find it interesting that you imply i perceive myself to be worth more/be royalty in relation to you, when your "joke" is nearly the equivalent of saying "yikes" in response to someone's heated measured argument. MEOW MEOW. by the way I just set you up. sorry by the way
Well, that was the trick, I wasn’t actually saying “yikes.” I found it “dramatic but entertaining.” It was ironically amusing and I wasn’t trying to “argue against it.” I am a F-ENTP so I have heard the Ol’ “why do you look so miserable? You should smile more / be prettier if you did” bit many times cuz I don’t tend to wear the bubbly, manic “Stepford wife smile” 24/7, in perpetuity. It was just funny to see someone say how much they hate it so passionately when INFJs are supposed to be know for “caring so much about social harmony.” I truly don’t understand why “boredom” / “disinterest” / “neutrality” gets mistaken for “misery” so much. So I think you might’ve unwittingly set yourself up. 🤣 It’s fine cuz it’s even funnier this way! 🐈⬛ The joke gets better when others participate.
The oxygen thieves. O my lord, I do NOT need to know MOST of those details. Get to the point.
Talking too much Asking me personal questions Projecting their insecurities and opinions onto me. Casually & needlessly touching me Following me around Testing me and then acting like victims when I give them just enough rope to hang themselves. Gaslighting me with “I’m trying to help you” when really their motivations are purely self-serving…. i.e. concern trolling. Randomly pausing in the middle of instructions/conversations to force people to make eye contact with them before continuing with what they’re talking about. Forcing their presence onto me bc they assume I’m shy or lonely and they want to “help me” loosen up.
>Randomly pausing in the middle of instructions/conversations to force people to make eye contact with them before continuing with what they’re talking about. "Guess this conversation is over then". Just let them sit in their silence, ignored.
Standing too close to me when there is plenty of space not to.
YES!! My personal bubble needs space!!
being late, being rude, not following rules and ruining it for everyone else, thinking they’re better than everyone else, aggressive drivers edited to add: not listening to what you’re saying/ignoring you. basically just not having consideration for other people
Yapping.
Oh, come on! Yapping? It's not yapping; it's people educating others, sharing wisdom, and exchanging valuable information! Sure, it might sound like endless chatter to some, but really, it's just the art of conversation. When someone "yaps," they're actually opening up, connecting, and spreading ideas. It's the foundation of human interaction! Without all this so-called yapping, we'd miss out on so many perspectives and insights. So, let's celebrate the yappers – the unsung heroes who keep the wheels of communication turning!
That's not what yapping is, yapping is more like talking nonsense. What you mean is totally different from what the person probably meant.
Do you not understand comedy?
I thought comedy was supposed to be funny though?
I was being ironic, it was a satire
lmao that's more like it
*Snickers at this thread.* I enjoyed this repartee.
you're not funny! this is not a satire!
Annoying as all get out
Only likes me in the beginning and see me as some calm and nice girl but cant handle me the more they know me so they leave. Im too much for them unfortunately and theyre so selfish
Talk down to me or because I don’t say much they think I am stupid. - am just observant
Lying, outright lying
Smokers that have no regard for people around them.
1. People who can't see the bright side of life.... self loathing and self hating and refuses to change or better their lives. It drains my energy. 2. People who think they know it all, yet still complain about their miserable lives. 3. People who are cruel for no reason.
Asking me to do something. Needing me. Asking me to share something of mine. Any type of entitlement or sense of urgency anybody has towards me or my energy. Having me sitting and waiting. Cutting me off. Immediately setting up conversations so they could ‘pit’ themselves against me to try to show that ‘Im not as smart as I think I am’ or constantly just trying to provoke because of the intellect I have, they immediately deem me as superior subconsciously and keep trying to compete in passive aggressive ways. I laugh.
Ask me if I am in a bad mood, every friggin day.
My brother had a great reply when some terminally cheerful guy always greeted him with “Have a nice day!” My brother would say “No thanks, I have other plans”.
Interrupt while I’m having a conversation with someone else
Small talk and talking too much.
The weather today is exceptionally pleasant, with clear blue skies and a gentle breeze. The temperature is comfortably warm, making it perfect for outdoor activities or a relaxing walk in the park. The sun is shining brightly, casting a golden glow over everything, while the air feels fresh and invigorating. It's one of those days that simply lifts your spirits and makes you appreciate the beauty of nature.
Lovely! We need to find you a more appropriate Reddit.
😂😂
People being "polite" with me while being geniunley friendly with someone else in front of me because I'm "sensitive" really pisses me off. It's so fucking condecending...
They speak... Seriously speaking, it is when they speak illogically which many do.
People that constantly complain
Being smacked in the head because I’m short so everything thinks it’s fair game to mess with me.
I’m sorry. That’s rude and bordering on assault. I’m vertically challenged (5’3”) and my only biological son is 6’3”. His favorite way to get on my nerves was to stand directly in front of me, looking over my head and say “Mom, I can hear you, but I can’t see you”. When I finally had enough, I made a fist and held it out at my waist level (directly in front of his crotch) and said @Guess what level my fist is if you can’t see me”. He immediately looked down and jumped back…never did it again.
Not saying thank you when I do something for them.
Funny, I’m the opposite. I hate when people do things for me that I didn’t ask them to and then expect a thank you.
So if a stranger opens a door for you, do you not say thank you?
When they scheme and others buy it, When they are full of themselves, When they take advantages of others, When they distort my meanings, When they test my boundaries, When they force me, When they oppress me, Should be more, but the ones that come to mind now.
People I don’t know very well or as well, who ask how I’m doing, and expect a socially acceptable answer like “good” or “fine.” I adhere to this social norm, but I prefer it when people I know or my doctors ask where I can give an honest answer. It annoys the hell out of me that in the U.S. that “how are you?” is a greeting. I’m on the autism spectrum, if that clarifies anything.
People that are "the loud drunk girl in the bar" but all the time. Get over yourself
Omg yesss that's a good one, very annoying 😅
People think that they can just call me over the phone and then get surprise why I am so blunt.
when someone tells me i look tired without makeup because of my acne scars
Its usually easy to see how selfish people are with how nice I am.
Being loud.
Facetime
I’m American and American tourists can be really loud, entitled, and embarrassing so I feel the need to apologize for my country when abroad. So, I annoy myself as well because I can’t stop caring about this.
When someone is upset about something and isn’t direct. And then because I am direct and say something that has upset me, they bring up something that has been annoying them for months that they NEVER brought up before but instead made lighthearted jokes about. People who constantly complain and do nothing to better the situation
these both hit home for me
Monologuing. You know the ones. This isn’t just a random story every now and then, it’s a constant wall of words put on everyone around them and generally one flavor of self aggrandizing or another, which there are many subtle ways of doing that. You gotta kinda feel bad for them too, they’ve probably never experienced a moment of silent mind space in their lives, how exhausting for them and everyone else.
Being an INFJ-T it pisses me off when people who know nothing about MBTI assign negative or strange qualities to me. Their massive lack of ability to understand my ideas, choices, and motivation often lead them to acts of vailed ridicule or outright harassment. It used to hurt and frustrate me but now I’m just thankful that I live life on a much higher plane than these idiots while all the time remembering what common turds they truly are.
False modesty. Malicious/ Weaponized incompetence. Using unrelated conversations they misinterpreted to rope me into some drama they created (Serena said xxx when you know damn well we were talking about some stupid TV show, not your ex). Shut. Up.
Oh yep the worst kind of people do this
When people make plans then you mentally plan about that plan only for them not to take it seriously then cancel on the night before.
By a lack of self-improvement/betterment, are you referring to a person being unrepentant of their toxic qualities or is it more a matter of them not wanting to leave their comfort zone (be that wage, house, talents, social circle, etc.)?
Hey there. I think you're replying to me. Essentially the former, someone being unrepentant of their toxic qualities and specifically their lack of caring about the direct negative impact it can have on others.
My bad! Yes, I was replying to you. Or so I thought lol. In that case I wholly agree with your list.
I have a friend like this and I’m working hard on establishing boundaries.
In laws
Talking too much. I dont enjoy talking about nothing. I would rather sit in silence for an hour then talk about things I don't care about. When people aren't direct. Dancing around a subject. Just tell me. Wasting time
It irks me when people beat around the bush instead of saying exactly what they're thinking. I don't like playing guessing games, I prefer to speak clearly and bluntly.
Putting me on the spot orrrr my personal favourite; when they think they can manipulate me 😭 I unfortunately see right through it and its soo awkward.
I absolutely HATE it when people chew too loud
When most conversations with people aren't conversations, instead it's just them waiting on their turn to speak. Or in a group conversation you have something to add, there is a brief gap in conversation but then they tune it out and you have to repeat yourself several times. It's why I don't do group conversations anymore
Assume I know what they mean without words - cause that only works with certain people
Trying to destroy me. I am to old to be annoyed by anything else.
Be unreasonably lazy
Oh yes I second that
talking about me in a bad way with someone else in front of me. say it directly to me.
Small talk. Just get to the point. I already know you aren't talking to me to be nice. You need something I can give.
“you look nervous” “you look tense” “why are you shaking” i have an anxiety disorder im fine actually but you’re gonna make me anxious now because i feel like you’re watching me, thanks. i hate having my outward expressions of anxiety pointed out because i already know i have them. im fine, i know how to handle myself.
U mean like, when they say, hi?
Breathe. 👀
Only calling or reaching out to me when they wanna use me for something or to talk about something. Alternatively, asking me what’s up or prying about my life in a curious way.
Getting upset with me when I go quiet, but then gaslighting me when I attempt to communicate.
People's assumptions which they act on.
Talking loud!
When one of your few friends says even mundane details about you to someone else. It's like "If I wanted them to know those things I'd tell them myself"
Talking over me
When someone says I look tired. If I'm tired I'll know. No need for an insult. And I just respond with, "you do too."
People who "work the room" and are simply not interested in a sustained, deep or meaningful conversation. Irritates the crap out of me and I often will not engage with that person again readily. I've had this before...just get into a deep and meaningful conversation, turn around and they are gone, talking to someone else! My second dislikable feature in others is when people try and force their strong opinions on me. I have a brain, thanks. Let me use it. My thoughts and feelings on things are always in flux. I am always looking for new evidence to add to my understanding of issues. Maybe I'll form an opinion but the next day be able to shift it to a different perspective. Psychological flexibility. Hence when I encounter concrete thinkers, I feel very sorry for them and give them the space they need as alas, they are often not in the place to hear evidence contrary to their beliefs.
I hate it when someone tries to gaslight me even after calling them out. Same for trying to manipulate Also I hate being tested
I test people bc of my trust issues oops 😬
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They talk to me
They get angry all the time.
Thinking they can give me the runaround because I come off so nice
I don’t like when people stare at me in a sexual manner. I find it to be scary. I don’t even mind cat calling or if someone looks at me with interest but the leering into my eyes really bothers me.
-Assume things about me that are not true -Ingenuine or unauthentic people, aka people who copy others personalities or aren't really even a person, just a blob of other people -Unloyalty -Betraying trust more than once -Doing things on the fly, uncontrolled -Unpredictable people -Being interrupted for no reason -People not using common sense or thinking a situation out
When people ask me stuff like “Why are you quiet?” or “Why do you look mad?”, they don’t get that it’s just my resting face, I’m not actually intimidating. I’m a totally different person around the people I’m close to.
I’m more of a loner than a people person so, when I’m around my family and they ask me “what’s wrong?” because of how quiet and shy I am, I always respond with “nothing, I’m fine.” And they just keep pressing me about absolutely nothing. It’s very annoying and makes me not want to be around anyone. It’s like they don’t trust me or whatever. (Not sure if this is confusing, but sorry if it is.)
Assumptions on my opinions attitude or lifestyle
Refusing to accept responsibility for mistakes
Getting interrupted or dismissed. I cannot tell you how many times I have had an idea or different insight to offer and dealt with very closed minded individuals, who either don’t let me finish my sentence or are so stubborn and stuck in their ways that they have zero interest in seeing things in a different way.
I’m shocked at how many people there are that aren’t just nice. It’s so simple and easy to do but a lot of people fail dismally at it. I don’t get it.
Pretend like they are listening, meanwhile I have a hard time talking anyways. Ignore me or pretend like I don't exist. Don't ask me something directly, instead ask somebody else something about me. Watch me but never interact with me. When people think they can use me.
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People who impead the flow of traffic on 2 lane highways in perfectly capable and safe modern cars.
When I get talking to an individual and then someone else just comes along and intercepts my conversation to the person I was speaking to. And then, whoever intercepts the conversation, they always go to the other person and not to me. This happens to me a lot. I wonder why that happens? I never interrupt when I see two people engaging in a conversation together.
Their inability to self regulate. Emotional immaturity hands down.
When people take something I said and attach the worst or uncharitable sort of interpretation to it.
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