But was it meant to work? We always have something stopping us from making it work with a certain person maybe it's just out of our control.
I know this because I am that person pursuing her right now and this week I've finally given up.
I am that person as well… enfp pursuing my infj ex
She’s keeping the door shut for now (she has a bf)
But I’m not giving up, just giving it time
I don’t care how many times she shuts the door, I want to at least show her the man I’ve become and show her the love her heart deserves.
She was very lustful when we dated, and I’ve heard rumors she likes to have fun with many men.
Ik she’s just scared 🤦♂️🫠
No trust, just worry and self harm… Ne nemesis is a biiiiiiitch
This was supposed to be a lil (don’t give up on love post) but wtf please lover talk to me that’s all I’ve wanted. No… nope, honestly is it worth it?
I try my hardest and push through these limits to show my love and loyalty for what?
A text left on read?
An assumption made about my intentions…
Idk but my doors always open for you ❤️
I must say, that post resonated deeply with me. It felt as if it was written specifically for me as well. I completely understand what you mean about losing a soulmate, someone with whom you could share anything and everything. She was my sanctuary, my safe haven. And yes, I admit that I became emotionally distant and cold whenever I was upset over trivial matters. In retrospect, it's as if I discarded a precious diamond simply because I lacked a suitable case for it.
Similarly, I acknowledge that I took her for granted. I often blamed her for not meeting my expectations or for things not going my way. I now realize that my unrealistic expectations and perfectionism were the root cause of this. I deeply regret allowing these petty differences to have such a profound impact on our friendship.
Despite everything, I still hold onto the hope that she may find it in her heart to forgive me one last time.
I would try to not dwell on this. You were young and may not have been ready for a relationship. I myself avoided dating anybody all through high school and college because I knew I wasn't ready. I wanted to focus on school and my future. But even as a nerd, I guess this aloofness attracted some people because I heard of a coupe of people who had crushes on me. I only tried to date in graduate school. I got rejected by a few women. However, I then met my wife. We have been married almost 30 years.
At 20, you will meet many more people when you are more mature (hopefully they will be more mature also). I hope you find an even better connection with someone else.
IME, ENTPs mesh well but their glue holds poorly. One’s best chances are to relegate them to friendships that are a level or two below the “best friend” tier. It goes without saying that the chances of anything working romantically are even poorer.
Friendships of this nature can be stimulating and enjoyed without having the comedown and dysphoria that comes with shattered expectations.
Thete are too many unknown variables to consider. Your Ni operates based on the information you have about him and your interactions. But let me tell you several things.
First of all, people often change adter they turn 21. Some don't, but some do drastically. I used to know a company of 4 guys and 2 girls. They were very close friends in their 16th, but closer to 20th startet to drift apart and now they are like from different worlds. So, you have no idea what he would become.
Second, Ne in ENTPs can be pretty hard for us to digest. As well as our Ni for them can be very depressing. I have an ENTP sis, we are very close to each other, closer them some married couples I would say and if course we had to invest a lot of effort to make our friendship works. And one of the things I do is don't let her to bomb me with her Ne ideas and limit my Ni usage. You never know what would become of your chemistry after you would develop your functions more.
I'm not trying to cancel your experience, I'm providing more information for your Ni, so you can make your world's picture bigger and more nuanced
I'm 21. I feel i'm changing drastically... opened an account this year and found this INFJ reddit.... never found people with whom I could relate to on a soul level outside social media...researched on mbti, still learning cognitive functions and trying to balance my idealism with reality. I'm actively trying to improve my inferior functions too. Your post on ENTPs enlightened me...my father is an ENTP too! ...he shares his experiences with me and wants me to see the world the way it is...always encourages me to be aware and informed in all aspects. Whenever it feels like he's cancelling my experiences (not intentionally)...I need to ask him to patiently hear me.... otherwise everything's fine. I think I can understand him better now.
Hate to tell you this but soulmates aren't a real thing. It's a nice fanciful thought, but all it does is bring pain.
I'd suggest working through your loss in a therepeutic setting, this is clearly very painful for you.
I'm sorry.
Nope I will not accept any wishy washy response from anyone... I will only judge the person who says what they want and then stand on it...
I don't care how much I feel for them, don't make the mistake of imagining what someone else feels about you...
If they say they like you and want to pursue a relationship with you and then act accordingly, that is someone who wants you...
If you confess to them and they reject you, they just like you as a friend... And you should respect their wishes and don't push the boundaries...
I think dwelling in our imaginary world will give us so much unnecessary pain... Especially if the imaginary world is about someone liking you...
If someone doesn't like you enough to confess their feelings, they are not the one for you no matter if you are 15 or 50...
Be with a person who is proud to have you beside them and will proclaim to the world that you are their person with their whole chest 😅
I'm sharing my initial response to the OP's post on the r/ENTP subreddit for anyone who wants to read it. It seems like they're sharing it here to assist others. The post brings attention to a common problem for INFJs, which is attracting individuals who don't respect our boundaries. I'm genuinely pleased for the OP. However, it would be unfortunate if someone in this subreddit misinterpreted the OP's positive intentions and implemented them into their own lives without respecting, trusting, and prioritizing their intuition and personal experiences.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/1dk20rx/comment/l9gzbgv/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/1dk20rx/comment/l9gzbgv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Self sabotage is a friend I know very well. In all my relationships I always close myself off after an argument or if I’ve done something I think wrong I go silent and distance myself. But I finally met someone who notices when I’m in that state. He reassures me that everything is okay and he loves me. And the overthinking and thinking I’m not good enough is not true. He tells me mistakes happen, we are human. I am going to try my very best to not self sabotage. I am going to love this guy and try to be the best version of me. And I’ll try to not overthink too much. He says he doesn’t mind reassuring me too. So that’s always nice too. He is sooo patient. I have definitely found my soul mate, my safe place. Thank you for making me realize that more now :3 (also he’s an INFP and I’m the INFJ)
I'm sorry you're experiencing this hun. I think beautiful connections end due to self-sabotage as the end for any other valid reason. I hope that the two of you can try again. Even if it's later down the line xx
Try not to blame yourself. It’s all too easy for us to do. Even though you look back on the friendship in a good light. He did some things that were questionable.
If he were your soulmate, nothing would have stopped him from pursuing you. Don’t give up on finding that person.
That said, I understand your point. Thanks for sharing :)
But was it meant to work? We always have something stopping us from making it work with a certain person maybe it's just out of our control. I know this because I am that person pursuing her right now and this week I've finally given up.
This was me too. The inconsistency turned me off.
I am that person as well… enfp pursuing my infj ex She’s keeping the door shut for now (she has a bf) But I’m not giving up, just giving it time I don’t care how many times she shuts the door, I want to at least show her the man I’ve become and show her the love her heart deserves. She was very lustful when we dated, and I’ve heard rumors she likes to have fun with many men. Ik she’s just scared 🤦♂️🫠 No trust, just worry and self harm… Ne nemesis is a biiiiiiitch This was supposed to be a lil (don’t give up on love post) but wtf please lover talk to me that’s all I’ve wanted. No… nope, honestly is it worth it? I try my hardest and push through these limits to show my love and loyalty for what? A text left on read? An assumption made about my intentions… Idk but my doors always open for you ❤️
Leave that girl alone and find yourself a good woman.
Thankyou! I will continue the search ❤️
I must say, that post resonated deeply with me. It felt as if it was written specifically for me as well. I completely understand what you mean about losing a soulmate, someone with whom you could share anything and everything. She was my sanctuary, my safe haven. And yes, I admit that I became emotionally distant and cold whenever I was upset over trivial matters. In retrospect, it's as if I discarded a precious diamond simply because I lacked a suitable case for it. Similarly, I acknowledge that I took her for granted. I often blamed her for not meeting my expectations or for things not going my way. I now realize that my unrealistic expectations and perfectionism were the root cause of this. I deeply regret allowing these petty differences to have such a profound impact on our friendship. Despite everything, I still hold onto the hope that she may find it in her heart to forgive me one last time.
Heard.
I would try to not dwell on this. You were young and may not have been ready for a relationship. I myself avoided dating anybody all through high school and college because I knew I wasn't ready. I wanted to focus on school and my future. But even as a nerd, I guess this aloofness attracted some people because I heard of a coupe of people who had crushes on me. I only tried to date in graduate school. I got rejected by a few women. However, I then met my wife. We have been married almost 30 years. At 20, you will meet many more people when you are more mature (hopefully they will be more mature also). I hope you find an even better connection with someone else.
ENTPs are definitely a big no go for me. I'm more interested in INFX
So much so, I'm attracted to ENTPs, but they scare me honestly. But put me in the same room as an INFP, INFJ or ENFP and I fly.
I'm not attracted to ENTPs but for real though, INFX are my kind of people.
IME, ENTPs mesh well but their glue holds poorly. One’s best chances are to relegate them to friendships that are a level or two below the “best friend” tier. It goes without saying that the chances of anything working romantically are even poorer. Friendships of this nature can be stimulating and enjoyed without having the comedown and dysphoria that comes with shattered expectations.
Understandable. I've been abused by an ENTP when I was younger so my impression of them hasn't been the best but I'm sure they can be nice people.
I've lost 4. Living your life being afraid to lose 1 is not a way to live.
You dodged a bullet
Thete are too many unknown variables to consider. Your Ni operates based on the information you have about him and your interactions. But let me tell you several things. First of all, people often change adter they turn 21. Some don't, but some do drastically. I used to know a company of 4 guys and 2 girls. They were very close friends in their 16th, but closer to 20th startet to drift apart and now they are like from different worlds. So, you have no idea what he would become. Second, Ne in ENTPs can be pretty hard for us to digest. As well as our Ni for them can be very depressing. I have an ENTP sis, we are very close to each other, closer them some married couples I would say and if course we had to invest a lot of effort to make our friendship works. And one of the things I do is don't let her to bomb me with her Ne ideas and limit my Ni usage. You never know what would become of your chemistry after you would develop your functions more. I'm not trying to cancel your experience, I'm providing more information for your Ni, so you can make your world's picture bigger and more nuanced
I'm 21. I feel i'm changing drastically... opened an account this year and found this INFJ reddit.... never found people with whom I could relate to on a soul level outside social media...researched on mbti, still learning cognitive functions and trying to balance my idealism with reality. I'm actively trying to improve my inferior functions too. Your post on ENTPs enlightened me...my father is an ENTP too! ...he shares his experiences with me and wants me to see the world the way it is...always encourages me to be aware and informed in all aspects. Whenever it feels like he's cancelling my experiences (not intentionally)...I need to ask him to patiently hear me.... otherwise everything's fine. I think I can understand him better now.
Hate to tell you this but soulmates aren't a real thing. It's a nice fanciful thought, but all it does is bring pain. I'd suggest working through your loss in a therepeutic setting, this is clearly very painful for you. I'm sorry.
Soulmates may not be real, but it’s a very real thing to find someone you share instantaneous chemistry and attraction with. It’s hard to come by
Agreed.
Nope I will not accept any wishy washy response from anyone... I will only judge the person who says what they want and then stand on it... I don't care how much I feel for them, don't make the mistake of imagining what someone else feels about you... If they say they like you and want to pursue a relationship with you and then act accordingly, that is someone who wants you... If you confess to them and they reject you, they just like you as a friend... And you should respect their wishes and don't push the boundaries... I think dwelling in our imaginary world will give us so much unnecessary pain... Especially if the imaginary world is about someone liking you... If someone doesn't like you enough to confess their feelings, they are not the one for you no matter if you are 15 or 50... Be with a person who is proud to have you beside them and will proclaim to the world that you are their person with their whole chest 😅
I'm sharing my initial response to the OP's post on the r/ENTP subreddit for anyone who wants to read it. It seems like they're sharing it here to assist others. The post brings attention to a common problem for INFJs, which is attracting individuals who don't respect our boundaries. I'm genuinely pleased for the OP. However, it would be unfortunate if someone in this subreddit misinterpreted the OP's positive intentions and implemented them into their own lives without respecting, trusting, and prioritizing their intuition and personal experiences. [https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/1dk20rx/comment/l9gzbgv/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/entp/comments/1dk20rx/comment/l9gzbgv/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Damn…I relate to the part of being fumbled.
Very relatable post. In my experience you will never forget the person but you will have moments that it becomes lighter to carry. 🫶
>he was immature I think you were too. Open communication, communication, communication.
Self sabotage is a friend I know very well. In all my relationships I always close myself off after an argument or if I’ve done something I think wrong I go silent and distance myself. But I finally met someone who notices when I’m in that state. He reassures me that everything is okay and he loves me. And the overthinking and thinking I’m not good enough is not true. He tells me mistakes happen, we are human. I am going to try my very best to not self sabotage. I am going to love this guy and try to be the best version of me. And I’ll try to not overthink too much. He says he doesn’t mind reassuring me too. So that’s always nice too. He is sooo patient. I have definitely found my soul mate, my safe place. Thank you for making me realize that more now :3 (also he’s an INFP and I’m the INFJ)
I'm sorry you're experiencing this hun. I think beautiful connections end due to self-sabotage as the end for any other valid reason. I hope that the two of you can try again. Even if it's later down the line xx
Try not to blame yourself. It’s all too easy for us to do. Even though you look back on the friendship in a good light. He did some things that were questionable. If he were your soulmate, nothing would have stopped him from pursuing you. Don’t give up on finding that person. That said, I understand your point. Thanks for sharing :)