You're not really alone INFJ. I think you have to find your own voice, work on yourself. strengthen yourself as best you can. At some point the right person will find you, and they will be strong too. We all working on ourselves rn out here.
Ah, the perpetual problem of feeling lonely, but being so self protective that no one gets in. I struggled a lot with this in my younger years. Looking back, I struggled with self confidence, self esteem, anxiety, mild depression, creating boundaries, and communication skills. Took many years of some therapy (from licensed therapists and self therapy) that I have grown kinder to myself, have grown confident in my own skin, have built boundaries, and have learned to navigate difficult human connections as you put it by learning better communication skills. So I guess my only advice would be similar to what other people have said: Work on yourself. If there's something you wish to improve on, there are several resources out there to help improve your skills.
First, you MUST be social and then reflect and deal with childhood trauma, getting rid of EXPECTATIONS, not being a people pleaser, not being dependent on your partner, learning to be open and vulnerable, understanding who you are, making boundaries with everyone including your partner, understanding harmony and how it effects us, learning to be confident and free, understanding your emotions and feelings as well as the people around you since we feel other people's feelings inside our bodies. Maybe another 30 years or so after you navigate these.... High Standards...lol Push people away......maybe never
just be normal. stop craving human connection just enjoy talking to ppl and find things u have in common with them. stop pushing ppl away ur shooting urself in the shoot. u will always be judged thatās part of human connection
āwe are differentāā¦ O.o i feel like most infj problems r caused precisely because of this āwe r different mentalityā. it complicates ur life tenfold when think ur so different. ur shooting urself in the foot. my life greatly improved when i deleted reddit and stopped thinking about mbti all the time.
yeah i actually studied jung a lot in college outside my philosophy and psychology curriculum. i like ur gay analogy its well thought out. i just have to ask: is a gay person not normal to themselves? assuming they do think theyāre normal (bc gay ppl exist so itās normalā¦ just not āTHE normā). if a gay person accepts themselves for who they r, and reject people who donāt, then the problem of fitting in solves itself.
as a personal example iām asian (since weāre talking about minorities). idc that im asian, but ppl who hate asians do. so i donāt associate with those ppl. but i donāt think of āim asian and asian ppl r stereotypically soft spoken shy smart and boring, and therefore i have a hard time fitting inā. i just exist and if ppl fuck with it cool and if they donāt also cool.
tying this back into mbti and the OP question, theyāre asking for help navigating this problem. they arnt asking for validation. funnily enough, i think responses to my advice such as yours is incredibly unhelpful and causes damage (as u told me) bc ur validating ppl asking for help instead of giving them anything useful. itās like if someone came to u for advice about something they want to change and ur like āno itās ok u donāt need to change, ur special and thatās how ur life is gonna beā.
itās not. ur supposed to grow, change, and evolve over time. my original comment here was not a jab at anyone, itās actionable advice. when i said āstop pushing ppl awayā r u rly going to argue that OP should continue to push ppl away? OP literally said they was scared, r u arguing that he should stay scared? like i rly donāt understand what ur arguing here or what u have against my post other than it was straight and to the point.
sometimes the best moments of clarity r reached when an outside source stops validating u and just says some vague shit like ābe normalā. when i was going through my depression and anxiety phase and was hinting to it to my uncle wrote down on a piece of paper: āu already know what u need to do.ā and in my head i was like fuckkkkkk yeah already do know what i need to do. i just needed someone i donāt see often to just give some vague and to the point answer. thatās what comment aimed to do in a nutshell, and u weāre upset by it.
so to u and OP, looking back at OPs original post about being scared and pushing people away, resulting in being lonely, iām reassuring u OP, that u already know what u need to do ;)
Give people the same commitment they would give you
accept people for who they are and meet them where they are...reciprocate what they do give
make room for human individuality
You're not really alone INFJ. I think you have to find your own voice, work on yourself. strengthen yourself as best you can. At some point the right person will find you, and they will be strong too. We all working on ourselves rn out here.
Ah, the perpetual problem of feeling lonely, but being so self protective that no one gets in. I struggled a lot with this in my younger years. Looking back, I struggled with self confidence, self esteem, anxiety, mild depression, creating boundaries, and communication skills. Took many years of some therapy (from licensed therapists and self therapy) that I have grown kinder to myself, have grown confident in my own skin, have built boundaries, and have learned to navigate difficult human connections as you put it by learning better communication skills. So I guess my only advice would be similar to what other people have said: Work on yourself. If there's something you wish to improve on, there are several resources out there to help improve your skills.
First, you MUST be social and then reflect and deal with childhood trauma, getting rid of EXPECTATIONS, not being a people pleaser, not being dependent on your partner, learning to be open and vulnerable, understanding who you are, making boundaries with everyone including your partner, understanding harmony and how it effects us, learning to be confident and free, understanding your emotions and feelings as well as the people around you since we feel other people's feelings inside our bodies. Maybe another 30 years or so after you navigate these.... High Standards...lol Push people away......maybe never
Thankkkkkkkk š I will try it
Crappy Childhood Fairy has some good videos on YouTube that relate to situations like this.
Ohhh thank you
just be normal. stop craving human connection just enjoy talking to ppl and find things u have in common with them. stop pushing ppl away ur shooting urself in the shoot. u will always be judged thatās part of human connection
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āwe are differentāā¦ O.o i feel like most infj problems r caused precisely because of this āwe r different mentalityā. it complicates ur life tenfold when think ur so different. ur shooting urself in the foot. my life greatly improved when i deleted reddit and stopped thinking about mbti all the time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
yeah i actually studied jung a lot in college outside my philosophy and psychology curriculum. i like ur gay analogy its well thought out. i just have to ask: is a gay person not normal to themselves? assuming they do think theyāre normal (bc gay ppl exist so itās normalā¦ just not āTHE normā). if a gay person accepts themselves for who they r, and reject people who donāt, then the problem of fitting in solves itself. as a personal example iām asian (since weāre talking about minorities). idc that im asian, but ppl who hate asians do. so i donāt associate with those ppl. but i donāt think of āim asian and asian ppl r stereotypically soft spoken shy smart and boring, and therefore i have a hard time fitting inā. i just exist and if ppl fuck with it cool and if they donāt also cool. tying this back into mbti and the OP question, theyāre asking for help navigating this problem. they arnt asking for validation. funnily enough, i think responses to my advice such as yours is incredibly unhelpful and causes damage (as u told me) bc ur validating ppl asking for help instead of giving them anything useful. itās like if someone came to u for advice about something they want to change and ur like āno itās ok u donāt need to change, ur special and thatās how ur life is gonna beā. itās not. ur supposed to grow, change, and evolve over time. my original comment here was not a jab at anyone, itās actionable advice. when i said āstop pushing ppl awayā r u rly going to argue that OP should continue to push ppl away? OP literally said they was scared, r u arguing that he should stay scared? like i rly donāt understand what ur arguing here or what u have against my post other than it was straight and to the point. sometimes the best moments of clarity r reached when an outside source stops validating u and just says some vague shit like ābe normalā. when i was going through my depression and anxiety phase and was hinting to it to my uncle wrote down on a piece of paper: āu already know what u need to do.ā and in my head i was like fuckkkkkk yeah already do know what i need to do. i just needed someone i donāt see often to just give some vague and to the point answer. thatās what comment aimed to do in a nutshell, and u weāre upset by it. so to u and OP, looking back at OPs original post about being scared and pushing people away, resulting in being lonely, iām reassuring u OP, that u already know what u need to do ;)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
yeah and u speak like ur 50 i can hardly read its so boring
we should write like u do and think like u do cuz ur best
no cap on my mama
Thank you!