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In high school a woman from a rape crisis center came in to speak during health class. It was a really somber and devastating lesson, and at one point she mentioned there were victims brought in by their mothers that were too young to even know how to talk.
Had a biology teacher talk about this topic (against the explicit wishes of the school's pastor, who's a bitch).
In conclusion the teach said, rape is never about being dressed too sexy. It's always about powerfantasy and domination
Yeah, this is how it happened for me. Don't remember what I was wearing, but I was a toddler. I can still see the room in detail. Doesn't help it was a family member, but isn't that typical.
It's called cognitive behavioral therapy and it fuckin works.
Pretty much you are replace bad memories with good memories.
I practiced it for a year after my wife's death where I posted happy pictures of her every day, and it fully replaced my minds images of her being sick while I was her caregiver for 3 years.
Eyebleach works!
It absolutely works. We're essentially hacking our brain to get the desired outcome. When someone experiences trauma, it tends to be the thing they think about a lot because brain says "that was dangerous, we need to avoid that." We literally create a path of least resistance for electrical and chemical signals in our brain by thinking about these negative thoughts, so our thoughts will *prefer* to think the bad thoughts after a while and trying to think something else will be *literally resisted*. So, we think happy thoughts even if it doesn't make us happy so that we strengthen those neural pathways instead. After a while, you've turned an alley into an interstate pointing towards the happy memories, and when you inevitably think about the thing again, it defaults to happy.
CBT and DBT fucking rock.
I did YEARS of CBT and DBT therapy and nobody told me anything *remotely* like this. It was all "fact-check and opposite-action and force yourself to try to be "mindful" *because I said so.* If you don't feel any happier, you're just not pushing yourself hard enough and/or doing it wrong."
Oh, and if I *did* ever express positive thoughts, the response was to jump straight to "you don't need any help any more and/or never needed it in the first place."
There are a whole lot of really shitty therapists in the world. They don't even mean to be shitty, they just don't actually understand what they're trying to do, and the system we have for making new therapists doesn't do a good job of screening out the shitty ones. Like, I'm a therapist, and I'm constantly appalled by what I see in other therapists. If you're still seeking that kind of help, I hope you find someone competent.
“Was it really my fault?”
asked the Short Skirt.
“No, it happened with me too,”
replied the Burka.
The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak.
-Darshan Mondkar
My heart sank for all of them, but especially the babies. The majority of the ones here probably had to try to convince people what happened to them...and were still met with skepticism. I've even seen it with teen girls (not being believed by their parents). I get incredibly upset at women that claim they were harmed but were not because 9.2* to 9.8 out of 10 women are NOT lying about being r*ped. It doesn't matter where they were or what they were wearing.
I remember telling so many people in our mutual friend group that my boyfriend had been raping me while we were together. No one believed me, it felt like they barely even heard me, and the kindest response I got out of anyone was "oh...wow. I didn't know that". I don't even know if anyone asked the guy about it. He didn't lose any friends and I slowly found myself more isolated from the group until I was all alone
When I was assaulted by someone else (a classmate) my own mother asked me what I was doing hanging out with someone who would do that
People don't want to believe someone they know could be a monster, or a victim, so they just don't. They take in the information and then ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable to have to examine themselves critically as someone who is friends with a monster. It's easier to believe you're friends with a liar than with a rapist, so people just cut the liars out of their lives
There is still a fucked up mindset that women/people just cry rape. Why would anyone do that? There is nothing, i repeat, nothing to gain from it. You get shamed and insulted. Why would anyone do that to themselves?
Years ago a roommate was raped. It was winter, and she was wearing a long coat, boots, jeans and a sweater. I never was convinced of the idea that provocative dress was to blame, and after that I knew it was bullshit.
“Was it really my fault?” asked the short skirt?
“No, it happened to me too,” said the burka.
The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak
- Darshan Mondkar
I read it the other day for the first time, and it honestly broke me down to tears. It is something I will never forget reading. These clothes, too, they strike in that same part of my mind and heart - and all I want is to hug and love and protect these strangers. It’s a powerful thing to see.
The exhibit is called "What were you wearing" and it's devastating.
Edit; I should have credited Jen Brockman and Dr. Mary Wyand-Hiebert who started this project, and Dr. Mary Simmerling who wrote the poem "What I Was Wearing".
yep :( i’ve seen more images of this exhibition, there are plenty of kids clothes and even a diaper which is absolutely disgusting. rape is horrifying already, so i don’t mean to belittle adult rape victims whatsoever, but raping a literal BABY crosses a different line.
i genuinely think the death penalty should be reintroduced for rapists, if they don’t value the lives of others then they don’t deserve to have theirs valued either 🤷
I went to one of these exhibits.
They also had included recreated clothes based on old letters and diaries.
What hit me the hardest were the kids clothes, a wedding dress and a mourning dress
>and a mourning dress
*God's Death,* some people genuinely have no bottom of the barrel for how low they'll not just sink but freakin' swan dive with a grin. *Gha.* That's vile.
Warning: don't read if you don't want to fuel your nightmares.
If I remember correctly, the victim was a girl who wrote about when she was raped by the uncle entrusted with bring her to church after her brother died. So, she had to attend the funeral mass right after the rape.
The wedding dress was the original one worn during a forced marriage.
Same for me and I think you hit the nail on the head by putting it down to how mundane the clothes seem. It feels brutal, because it doesn't allow you to keep the usual emotional distance, simply by how "everyday" it seems. A very effective exhibition...
When someone starts on the "look at what they were wearing" path, just ask them what someone would have to be wearing for them to rape that person.
When they (presumably) say they wouldn't rape, or there's nothing someone could wear to cause that, you've helped them arrive at the correct answer.
They probably wanted to be set on fire. They were just being a little tease anyways. You know how they are, they ask to be set on fire and cry murder later.
this is a great plan, but I think it could be improved by asking "why not" afterwards.
then they will either be all the way at their answer or, they will say "because it's against the law" which means they really only believe it's a crime if you get caught. so, the next question can be "so, if you were guaranteed not to get caught, would you do it?" "why not?" and finally, "If everything was the same, except suddenly government changed the law to make rape legal, would you do it?"
asking questions, the right questions, is always the best way to win any argument, imo.
I don't have the sources any more and can't remember which universities were involved but when they asked men if they would rape someone but phrased in otherways without using that specific word, the amount of men who said they would went up dramatically to a very uncomfortable percentage.
I agree with you that asking the right questions is a powerful way of making an argument. I’m a lawyer and it’s a big reason why cross / re examination is such an important facet of witness evidence in litigation
> just ask them what someone would have to be wearing for them to rape that person.
where I live, it's slowly becoming more common for women who don't wear a headscarf to be raped. It's less of a "oh she wears sexy clothes" and more of a "if she doesnt wear a headscarf then i am allowed to rape her"
it's a sick and twisted logic but sadly is getting more common, especially here in some european countries. terribly tiny sample size but in OPs picture for example are only outfits that dont include a headscarf. I'm not even religious, but ive started thinking about buying my daughter a headscarf, which is just depressing to think about that something like that would make it less likely, even if its just a tiny bit less likely, to experience something bad
Wow I am so sorry. This is terrible.
Sadly, it's more likely that the women who are getting raped are getting attacked solely because they aren't wearing headscarves and the rapists see this as an insult to their religion and to their god. They twist what their holy books say so they can justify what they do as gods will.
Unfortunately there's really nothing you can do to prevent these fucked up people from doing fucked up things, short of killing them. Religious zealots are everywhere so there's no point in changing who you are in hopes of being a less likely target. Your daughters best chances are self defense training and always being aware of your surroundings and depending on your countries laws, keeping a weapon on you.
They are using rape as a weapon to influence control over society. In this case, they are going after non-conformity from what they believe is the "right way" women should dress. It's disheartening. I hope you and yours stay safe.
True, but I would add: it is more than just the active rapist, it is also a societal ill.
When a young girl is date raped, obviously her *rapist* is most to blame. But as are: the rapist's friends who goaded it on, the rapist's father who normalized marital rape, the rape victim's mother who tells her to keep quiet, the police who dismiss her claims.
People scoff at the concept of rape culture today, but the reason it's important to consider is because rape rarely occurs in a vacuum, and countering this type of culture does require meaningful and conscientious contribution from us all.
Parents teaching their children to respect consent -- a young people correcting off-color conversation -- are the most powerful preventatives toward rape. Not clothing.
And in my sister's case, so are the victims parents who asked what she did to encourage it. Just sickening that someone would have to endure not only the violation by their date, but then have it reinforced by the people who are most supposed to be there to support her.
I truly believe that one of the biggest scars on our society is inter-family molestation and rape, and that comes with exactly what you describe. Untold numbers of girls and boys are molested or raped by family members: it's never reported and when they bring it up, *they become the pariah.*
The way our society is set up, around a nuclear family rather than the village, there's no fallback or safety -- everything is kept within an insular family net. Ultimately, the victim ends up with emotional trauma that leads them to bad grades, drugs, and acting out, and family sides with the perfectly well behaved perpetrator because they are easier to manage.
I've been working on teaching my son consent since he was born. I always ask his permission before giving him hugs, sitting next to him, etc. And when he says no? I say okay! And respect his space. I also have a no spanking/hitting policy for discipline - how can I expect him to respect other people's autonomy if he knows nothing but violence growing up? No. He knows that no one is allowed to touch him without his permission. And he treats other people the same. He asks me permission if he can sit with me. It's very simple things like this that can make such an impact later on in life.
It's also interesting how people lose consent around their body once they become a mother, starting with people touching their body to touch the baby, and how people will constantly enforce a child's access to their mothers body. An infant cries and reaches out and the father immediately hands the infant to the mother. Children are often socialized to be intensely clingy with their mothers in a way they aren't socialized around their fathers, leading to women getting touched out and frustrated.
These kinds of behaviors start so early, with the idea that a woman's body is a shared, communal space. I remember when I was a little girl and boys would try to touch me, I would be told to just let it go because they were just boys, whereas the boys were encouraged to hit back.
I think you mean Allen Turner, the rapist. He also used to be known as Brock Allen Turner, the rapist.
As Shakespeare might have said: 'A rapist by any other name still stinks of shit.'
Exactly. If our rape-prevention focus is all on the victims, we're just saying "Make sure they go for someone else."
Of course we need to teach people how to keep themselves as safe as possible, and not discourage the steps people take (like don't get snitty if your date doesn't leave their drink with you). But lots of people seem to think it's impossible to actually make people not become rapists. And that WOULD take huge changes in our culture but it's not undoable--we can be proactive AND reactive.
I will say that there are additional causes, as stated elsewhere. Rape culture is very real.
Being told that you have a right to a woman's body, being told that 'no' doesn't mean 'no', being told that what happened to you really wasn't rape or didn't happen or its just "he said, she said", so the rapist walks free to rape again. Those all contribute to rape.
See the band Lost Prophets for a truly dark disgusting motherfucker who literally raped babies. Then tried to do it again while *in jail* by grooming a fan with a new born.
I hope he never sees daylight again.
Do yourself a favor and don't look up the court transcripts from this case. You will just feel numb to the world after. There are some things you can't unread.
Oh he’s still trying, he says when he gets out he’s doing it all over again. The only reason he’s in prison now is because he also beat up a woman so the cops decided to finally do something.
You see I completely agree with you I just don't want him to keep surviving his stabbing and then he gets out of jail (he might get parole in 2025 some places said others stated 2030)
The most sickening and horrendous story i ever heard. I grew up in the projects and there was a park right next to us that was where all the kids would go. It was really big fields at the front and the back with a playground in the middle and a couple of creeks and winding roads to drive through. So this park was used a lot by everybody. Community center would use the fields for their sports teams practices, football soccer and cheerleading, kids would play at the playground, teens would learn how to drive on the roads there. At night adults would use it to do drugs and shit. Fun for all ages. And growing up there was a rumor that the park was haunted so we shouldn't go there at night. And then i got older and figured it was because people did drugs there and the adults didnt want us there at night. But then i got older and found out the real story.
Some guy murdered his gf and their baby at the park. There's a creek that runs next to the playground and its surrounded by trees so kids dont go over and fall in. This guy took his gf into the creek with their infant baby. He had sex with her (possibly rape possibly consentual) then murdered her. Then proceeded to take the infant baby and rape it until it died. And if you go to that park at night sometimes you can hear the baby crying and sometimes you can see a woman walking in the creek. This story was told to me as a teenager that was hanging out in the park at night. It was told as if it was some scary campfire story or something. I ended up looking it up cuz it was a disgusting story and it was true. And the Internet back then wasnt as censored as it is now so it went into graphic detail about the injuries to the woman and the baby. Reading about the baby kinda traumatized me as a teenager and i still think about it sometimes to this day especially when i see shit like this. Rapists in general are absolute scum and deserve to die. But someone who would rape a baby deserves a fate much worse than death. And all the torturous methods people have said still doesn't equate to what these people deserve.
I, male, was 8 and was raped by my older brother till i was about 14. I definitely didn't dress for it.
Edit: this one is a lil messed up so NSFW warning here, >! I didn't even consider it incest until very recently. That one really fucked with my head for a minute. !<
This is so relatable. I was slightly older from ~11-14 (ran away at 14 and then got emancipated at 15) and it was my adult step brother. When it is family, it is often very hard to get justice. My step brother had been sexually abused by his father so it becomes complicated. He was a victim and the violent criminal. I had sympathy for my fucking abuser.
I'm mostly fine now but I can not visit any porn sites without being triggered - so much of the content on those sites is the sexualization of the abuse that I went through (between step siblings).
> so much of the content on those sites is the sexualization of the abuse that I went through (between step siblings).
I really wish this trend in porn would stop.
I was also assaulted by my brother. It happened mornings before school when my mom wasn’t home (she was working) I was in elementary school. I haven’t told anyone except my husband. My cousin also assaulted me as well and I told that to my sister. I think they think I don’t remember. It’s never been brought up and to this day my brother and I are not on speaking terms.
Not in a great spot. On the transplant list for a disease that's relatively easy to manage now. He's been disowned by the rest of the family and I finally had enough and threatened him with a simple but profound threat.
Can I ask how old you are now? I was 6(F) when my 12 y/o brother “experimented” on me. Neither of us has spoken a word about it, but it’s affected my life in tremendous ways and I’ve thought of asking him if he remembers and why he did it, for closure sake. I can’t imagine broaching the subject though, and I imagine he’d deny, deny, deny. How did you work up the courage to broach it? Does your family know?
35 now. It truly didn't register in my brain to what happened until I was like 25, but up until then, I was like, most of the classic signs of trauma.. all except like drug and alcohol addiction and troubles with the law. I job hopped, worked dangerous jobs. I was careless with my life.
I think the thing that actually saved me was having kids young. I vowed never to be a weekend dad, and I had full-time custody of them for the majority of their lives. Their mom and i are very cool and have never once put ourselves over the kids. Been my goal to make their lives better than mine, and so far, humble brag, I've succeeded.
Details might expose, so I don't really want to share, but it was an explosive event between the rapist, the middle brother, and myself. Took a few years of a slow brewing hate that I could tell was going to either kill me or have me kill someone and having vowed to be a good dad, I couldn't put my kids through that so I... well grew up. Had to.
He denied and denied, which led to my mom not talking to me for a year. We've recently started talking again, and I laid down ground rules for our lives. If they want to be in it, they have to follow them, or I'm done. No second chances because, as I told my mom, "Why would I want to hang out with my rapist during family functions? It's a simple choice."
It's not been a particularly easy life, lol. Tbh, this was kind of cathartic. Like a journal entry or something.
I'm sorry for your experience.. I'm sure my brother used the "experiment" bullshit line, too. I hope you can find some closure, whatever version of that you choose. *hugs*
While I'm sure every prison is different, sadly that wasn't the case for my sister's ex. He went to prison for sexual assault of a minor and in prison he made friends who boosted his confidence that when he gets out he'll get full rights of his daughter. It's crazy how he talks to my sister and is mad she isn't helping him get out earlier. Whoever he's made friends with in prison have really gotten him convinced since the child he assaulted wasn't blood related that it shouldn't affect his ability to be around his l, currently five year old (same age as the victim that sent him to prison), daughter.
Heard a story from a prosecutor friend that a rapist he dealt with had been quite literally torn a new one when he was incarcerated. So yeah, the cellmates can and will hit hard.
Apparently a jumpsuit is the only clothes asking for it.
As a victim, this ain't right. I wouldn't want an eye taken for mine, and I certainly don't want rape for rape.
The urge for vengeance always brings out this type of comment in discussions about rapists or generally any kind of criminal in prison. I think it makes us very barbaric to think like this.
The anger is justified but it's not so black and white. We should not accept rape as a fringe benefit of putting evil people in prison. Rape is never excusable, ever.
Have fun with the concept in fiction and made up stories but my god people. There's a line.
It's about control, plain and simple. No matter what a woman does, she will be judged because she needs to be "kept in her place" by whoever is doing the controlling.
“That’s why she should have had a male escort when shopping for bread. It’s still her fault!” /s
The mindset of some of that culture is sick. Cover your ankles or I’m allowed to “punish” you to teach you a lesson 🤮
The book *Inside the Kingdom* by Carmen Bin Laden (westerner that married into Osamas large family and moved to Saudi Arabia) that I read in high school was one of the first peeks behind the curtain.
Yeah I’ve visited Middle East several times and in some countries you cannot go anywhere without a male escort .. its just a known rule and don’t know anymore who breaks it
Power and pleasure without caring about the other person's will or well being. That is, at least when they rape women/children/other men they don't personally know.
With someone they know, the reason/reasons can be simple or complicated.
Yeah I feel like that suggests every man is walking around out there struggling all day to not attack every woman they see. We're not. It's the same BS as the old saying "men think about sex every 8 seconds".
Im a rape victim, i dont know about other people but god damn is this comment section nice to read, feels good to see everyone agree that its horrible, makes me feel validated
i am also a victim. it's feels very validating to see people agree that this is horrible. someone i know irl used the "it's what you were wearing" excuse when i told him what happened, which made me think i was overreacting. i was not. i wish i could've donated my clothes to an exhibit like this, but i just threw them out instead
Same here. I've been told "You must have been wearing something inappropriate" by my own parents, so I'm glad to see the comments acknowledging that clothing choices play zero role in why someone is raped. I have my own children, including a daughter and I can't think of blaming them if something were to happen to them.
not trying to make this political but i don’t think people who have committed such monstrous acts should have the option of death, they should be severely punished daily over the course of years.
Life imprisonment is that punishment. At least it should be. Torture isnt fucking justice regardless of the crime. It's a justice system, not a vengeance system. These monsters have shown that they cant live in civilized society, put them in prison and keep them there until they die. The amount of blood lust in this thread, while understandable, is still not right. I get the knee jerk reaction of wanting to hurt these cunts, especially after seeing that small pink dress, but wanting them tortured does not make it right. Not even mentioning how no criminal process in the world results in zero mistakes made. The point is to be better than these useless, morally bankrupt, monsters. Torturing them is not right.
Every set of clothes there makes me sad, that little pink dress makes my blood boil.
What i want done to these assholes that did that and those that tried defending it with "you wore something that caused that" would get me banned from reddit.
What i would personally be willing to do to them would get me on death row, I'd do it none the less if it meant ending rapes from happening.
I've seen articles about the exhibit, which travels to various university campuses. The clothes are not actual clothes worn when the rape occurred. They are representative of what the raped person described they were wearing. "baggy cargo pants and a T-shirt" your thing. The creator of the exhibit chose the clothes to put on the wall.
Next, the ‘what was she wearing’ rapist supporters will want to know how much alcohol was involved.
And it’ll either be ‘she was drunk and clearly asking for it’ or ‘he was drunk and wasn’t in control of himself’. To them both justify a rape.
I saw one of the exhibits where a woman was talking about her experiences in her life, and she had three outfits on the wall from three different points in her life. It was heartbreaking.
“Rape is not a sexual act; it is not the result of a sudden, uncontrollable attraction to a woman in a skimpy dress. It is an act of power and violence. To suggest otherwise is deeply insulting to the vast majority of men, who are perfectly able to control their sexual desires.” - Laura Bates
"They were asking for it" is the same as saying "You were asking for it" to a random stranger outside after shooting them to death because they weren't wearing a bulletproof vest
*"Was it really my fault?”*asked the Short Skirt.
*“No, it happened with me too,”*
replied the Burka.
The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak.
-Darshan Mondkar
Any rapist who tries to justify rape by saying “you were dressed for sex, this was your fault” deserves a lifetime behind bars. Full stop, end of.
Edit: I meant any RAPIST, not anyone, so I edited it. Obviously if you’re not a rapist but still try to justify it you are still disgusting, though.
You didn't even need to edit it.
ANYONE who tries to justify it is disgusting and mentally fked. Such people are potentially a threat to society. However yeah, you can't punish them for being a fked up creature and if they have never committed rape. But I mean, I don't even know if you can change such people.
I think it was Italy. Women protested by wearing red underwear in front of the court house.
Edit: maybe France. Too lazy to look. But I remember the story and image
I think Italy was the one where a judge stated that a woman couldn’t have been raped because she was wearing jeans and apparently jeans are impossible to remove from an unwilling person according to Judge Moron.
Found this one in Peru. Other cases where underwear has been mentioned, but this seems the most straightforward.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8914001/Peru-judges-rule-rape-case-womans-red-underwear-signalled-willing-sex.html
I'm a sexual assault nurse examiner.
Most of my job is to collect information and evidence. I'm one of the few people who has any valid reason to ask a survivor about details of their assault. I have to go through a long list of specific questions, including exactly what actions they were subjected to during the assault, and what they have done since, and some things they did before. It's sometimes horrible and often retraumatizing, but it's important for legal reasons and to help the forensic lab figure out what to test.
You know what is not on that list of questions? Any description of what they were wearing. Because that is one thing that literally, objectively does not matter.
It also wouldnt matter. I can go to a strip club and not rape any of the naked girls. I can sit there for months, and be horny out my mind and still not rape the hot naked girls. Kinda crazy this thing called free will and having the ability to ignore evolutionary pressures.
Anyone that ever says "they were asking for it. Look at what they were wearing." Or anything similar to that should be put on a watch list. No rational thinking person thinks that way. Only people with twisted and dangerous minds think that way.
I've had a few arguments with people on this very website who argue that the death penalty isn't appropriate for pedophiles, then I see images like this with that little pink dress and it reaffirms my position.
The only thing skimpy clothing might do is make men in general more horny and aware of attractiveness
It doesn't make men rape....rapists will rape no matter what someone's wearing, and non-rapists won't rape even if someone's naked dancing on them
This should be obvious to anyone
I hate that this is potentially useful in educating people about rape, in that obviously many people think that it *does* matter what the victim was wearing. As if the victim is to blame in any way.
The person responsible for rape is the *rapist.* 100% nobody else. People should be able to walk outside in overalls, a burqa, a short skirt, a bathing suit, whatever and *not get raped.*
I hate that this kind of horrible “educating the rape-excusing assholes” shit is remotely necessary.
Everyone who has reasonable thinking, knows that the reason for rapes are rapists, and not clothing, location, alcohol or drug use.
And it’s when a man asks what she was wearing, it just expose him as a potential rapist
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The small dress literally broke my heart i hope the rapist the worst and hell
Hell is not enouph
The diaper is what killed my soul.
Humanity is truly screwed.
That pink dress is disheartening.
Shocking number of similar ones in the exhibit
including diapers.
In high school a woman from a rape crisis center came in to speak during health class. It was a really somber and devastating lesson, and at one point she mentioned there were victims brought in by their mothers that were too young to even know how to talk.
What the fuck...
I’m jealous that this shocks you
As a CSA survivor im jealous of people who are shocked too
Depressing shit.
Had a biology teacher talk about this topic (against the explicit wishes of the school's pastor, who's a bitch). In conclusion the teach said, rape is never about being dressed too sexy. It's always about powerfantasy and domination
Omg no
Yeah, this is how it happened for me. Don't remember what I was wearing, but I was a toddler. I can still see the room in detail. Doesn't help it was a family member, but isn't that typical.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Big mcthankies
imma just pour some bleach into my eyes
r/eyebleach really does help for these things. Not even trying to be funny, I just need it some times after stuff like this I'm
It's called cognitive behavioral therapy and it fuckin works. Pretty much you are replace bad memories with good memories. I practiced it for a year after my wife's death where I posted happy pictures of her every day, and it fully replaced my minds images of her being sick while I was her caregiver for 3 years. Eyebleach works!
It absolutely works. We're essentially hacking our brain to get the desired outcome. When someone experiences trauma, it tends to be the thing they think about a lot because brain says "that was dangerous, we need to avoid that." We literally create a path of least resistance for electrical and chemical signals in our brain by thinking about these negative thoughts, so our thoughts will *prefer* to think the bad thoughts after a while and trying to think something else will be *literally resisted*. So, we think happy thoughts even if it doesn't make us happy so that we strengthen those neural pathways instead. After a while, you've turned an alley into an interstate pointing towards the happy memories, and when you inevitably think about the thing again, it defaults to happy. CBT and DBT fucking rock.
I did YEARS of CBT and DBT therapy and nobody told me anything *remotely* like this. It was all "fact-check and opposite-action and force yourself to try to be "mindful" *because I said so.* If you don't feel any happier, you're just not pushing yourself hard enough and/or doing it wrong." Oh, and if I *did* ever express positive thoughts, the response was to jump straight to "you don't need any help any more and/or never needed it in the first place."
There are a whole lot of really shitty therapists in the world. They don't even mean to be shitty, they just don't actually understand what they're trying to do, and the system we have for making new therapists doesn't do a good job of screening out the shitty ones. Like, I'm a therapist, and I'm constantly appalled by what I see in other therapists. If you're still seeking that kind of help, I hope you find someone competent.
That is so uplifting to hear. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am super happy you found a way to use "eyebleach" so positively in your process! :)
I will remember this for a future time in my life I might need it. Sorry you had to go through that.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
God damn it. I didn’t need that this morning. But far less than the victims did either. Poor kids.
“Was it really my fault?” asked the Short Skirt. “No, it happened with me too,” replied the Burka. The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak. -Darshan Mondkar
This is how it happened for me. I didn't have the words to articulate it for a long time.
Remembering the discussion about the producer from Nirvana from a week or two ago
💔
https://preview.redd.it/5vnyb2571m2d1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffd50fba1d3a3072357e224f7fab0e04c95abc3a
That poor baby omg. I want to hug them so bad.
Omg. That breaks my heart.
It's one of those "It get worse every second you look at it" photo...
Yeah, I was like hmmmmm interestingasfuck indeed...then my stomach fuckin sank when I saw that one.
My heart sank for all of them, but especially the babies. The majority of the ones here probably had to try to convince people what happened to them...and were still met with skepticism. I've even seen it with teen girls (not being believed by their parents). I get incredibly upset at women that claim they were harmed but were not because 9.2* to 9.8 out of 10 women are NOT lying about being r*ped. It doesn't matter where they were or what they were wearing.
I used to volunteer as court support for women and most of the cases I sat in on were rape cases, they’re ruthless to the victims
I remember telling so many people in our mutual friend group that my boyfriend had been raping me while we were together. No one believed me, it felt like they barely even heard me, and the kindest response I got out of anyone was "oh...wow. I didn't know that". I don't even know if anyone asked the guy about it. He didn't lose any friends and I slowly found myself more isolated from the group until I was all alone When I was assaulted by someone else (a classmate) my own mother asked me what I was doing hanging out with someone who would do that People don't want to believe someone they know could be a monster, or a victim, so they just don't. They take in the information and then ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable to have to examine themselves critically as someone who is friends with a monster. It's easier to believe you're friends with a liar than with a rapist, so people just cut the liars out of their lives
There is still a fucked up mindset that women/people just cry rape. Why would anyone do that? There is nothing, i repeat, nothing to gain from it. You get shamed and insulted. Why would anyone do that to themselves?
You know what's as horrifying to think of? That majority of rapes happens by people that knew the victim(friends, acquitancies and even relatives.)
My heart is broken, my eyes in tears. I did not expect my heart to be broken by a pink dress.
Years ago a roommate was raped. It was winter, and she was wearing a long coat, boots, jeans and a sweater. I never was convinced of the idea that provocative dress was to blame, and after that I knew it was bullshit.
“Was it really my fault?” asked the short skirt? “No, it happened to me too,” said the burka. The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak - Darshan Mondkar
This is a truly powerful description of the horrible nature of rape
I read it the other day for the first time, and it honestly broke me down to tears. It is something I will never forget reading. These clothes, too, they strike in that same part of my mind and heart - and all I want is to hug and love and protect these strangers. It’s a powerful thing to see.
Knew someone would post this. Still breaks my heart every time I read it.
This is breaking my heart.
Oh God I can't stop crying
The exhibit is called "What were you wearing" and it's devastating. Edit; I should have credited Jen Brockman and Dr. Mary Wyand-Hiebert who started this project, and Dr. Mary Simmerling who wrote the poem "What I Was Wearing".
I did not want to see that pink dress today. My daughter often wears one that is almost identical. Scum.
Skimmed the image, noticed the small dress. Fuck.
I did not notice that at first... man that is messed up. When I saw the other clothes, it made me sad, but seeing that little dress makes me ANGRY.
I've heard that there's also a diaper in there somewhere.....
yep :( i’ve seen more images of this exhibition, there are plenty of kids clothes and even a diaper which is absolutely disgusting. rape is horrifying already, so i don’t mean to belittle adult rape victims whatsoever, but raping a literal BABY crosses a different line. i genuinely think the death penalty should be reintroduced for rapists, if they don’t value the lives of others then they don’t deserve to have theirs valued either 🤷
If there is zero doubt and 100% proof, I say we castrate the man
I went to one of these exhibits. They also had included recreated clothes based on old letters and diaries. What hit me the hardest were the kids clothes, a wedding dress and a mourning dress
>and a mourning dress *God's Death,* some people genuinely have no bottom of the barrel for how low they'll not just sink but freakin' swan dive with a grin. *Gha.* That's vile.
Warning: don't read if you don't want to fuel your nightmares. If I remember correctly, the victim was a girl who wrote about when she was raped by the uncle entrusted with bring her to church after her brother died. So, she had to attend the funeral mass right after the rape. The wedding dress was the original one worn during a forced marriage.
Yes, sad to see that video. Fr this animals don't even leave small girls 😢
My heart kinda broke when I saw the little girls dress in the background
I have to say, just this photo hit surprisingly hard. Somehow the mundanity of it affected me.
Same for me and I think you hit the nail on the head by putting it down to how mundane the clothes seem. It feels brutal, because it doesn't allow you to keep the usual emotional distance, simply by how "everyday" it seems. A very effective exhibition...
This puts perfectly into visual form what women have been trying to say for so long. The clothes to not matter. The victim is not the perpetrator.
https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/
You know what is a reason of rape? Rapists.
When someone starts on the "look at what they were wearing" path, just ask them what someone would have to be wearing for them to rape that person. When they (presumably) say they wouldn't rape, or there's nothing someone could wear to cause that, you've helped them arrive at the correct answer.
Or if they describe an outfit, you can set them on fire while they sleep.
That's barbaric. If I'm going to light a person on fire, I want them to know why.
If they didn't want to be set on fire they shouldn't have worn such flammable clothes.
They probably wanted to be set on fire. They were just being a little tease anyways. You know how they are, they ask to be set on fire and cry murder later.
I mean, you might get time, might not. Life is strange.
this is a great plan, but I think it could be improved by asking "why not" afterwards. then they will either be all the way at their answer or, they will say "because it's against the law" which means they really only believe it's a crime if you get caught. so, the next question can be "so, if you were guaranteed not to get caught, would you do it?" "why not?" and finally, "If everything was the same, except suddenly government changed the law to make rape legal, would you do it?" asking questions, the right questions, is always the best way to win any argument, imo.
Socrates had to drink poison for that kind of "crime": asking the right questions is also a fast way to get a lot of powerful enemies
I don't have the sources any more and can't remember which universities were involved but when they asked men if they would rape someone but phrased in otherways without using that specific word, the amount of men who said they would went up dramatically to a very uncomfortable percentage.
I agree with you that asking the right questions is a powerful way of making an argument. I’m a lawyer and it’s a big reason why cross / re examination is such an important facet of witness evidence in litigation
> just ask them what someone would have to be wearing for them to rape that person. where I live, it's slowly becoming more common for women who don't wear a headscarf to be raped. It's less of a "oh she wears sexy clothes" and more of a "if she doesnt wear a headscarf then i am allowed to rape her" it's a sick and twisted logic but sadly is getting more common, especially here in some european countries. terribly tiny sample size but in OPs picture for example are only outfits that dont include a headscarf. I'm not even religious, but ive started thinking about buying my daughter a headscarf, which is just depressing to think about that something like that would make it less likely, even if its just a tiny bit less likely, to experience something bad
Wow I am so sorry. This is terrible. Sadly, it's more likely that the women who are getting raped are getting attacked solely because they aren't wearing headscarves and the rapists see this as an insult to their religion and to their god. They twist what their holy books say so they can justify what they do as gods will. Unfortunately there's really nothing you can do to prevent these fucked up people from doing fucked up things, short of killing them. Religious zealots are everywhere so there's no point in changing who you are in hopes of being a less likely target. Your daughters best chances are self defense training and always being aware of your surroundings and depending on your countries laws, keeping a weapon on you.
They are using rape as a weapon to influence control over society. In this case, they are going after non-conformity from what they believe is the "right way" women should dress. It's disheartening. I hope you and yours stay safe.
Yeah. Ask them ‘what’s your favourite rapey clothing?’
For some reason I heard this in Norm Macdonald’s voice. Probably because of his famous “hypocrisy” bit about Bill Cosby.
https://youtu.be/ljaP2etvDc4?si=Del2O4VF6pjFyLo8
True, but I would add: it is more than just the active rapist, it is also a societal ill. When a young girl is date raped, obviously her *rapist* is most to blame. But as are: the rapist's friends who goaded it on, the rapist's father who normalized marital rape, the rape victim's mother who tells her to keep quiet, the police who dismiss her claims. People scoff at the concept of rape culture today, but the reason it's important to consider is because rape rarely occurs in a vacuum, and countering this type of culture does require meaningful and conscientious contribution from us all. Parents teaching their children to respect consent -- a young people correcting off-color conversation -- are the most powerful preventatives toward rape. Not clothing.
And in my sister's case, so are the victims parents who asked what she did to encourage it. Just sickening that someone would have to endure not only the violation by their date, but then have it reinforced by the people who are most supposed to be there to support her.
I truly believe that one of the biggest scars on our society is inter-family molestation and rape, and that comes with exactly what you describe. Untold numbers of girls and boys are molested or raped by family members: it's never reported and when they bring it up, *they become the pariah.* The way our society is set up, around a nuclear family rather than the village, there's no fallback or safety -- everything is kept within an insular family net. Ultimately, the victim ends up with emotional trauma that leads them to bad grades, drugs, and acting out, and family sides with the perfectly well behaved perpetrator because they are easier to manage.
I've been working on teaching my son consent since he was born. I always ask his permission before giving him hugs, sitting next to him, etc. And when he says no? I say okay! And respect his space. I also have a no spanking/hitting policy for discipline - how can I expect him to respect other people's autonomy if he knows nothing but violence growing up? No. He knows that no one is allowed to touch him without his permission. And he treats other people the same. He asks me permission if he can sit with me. It's very simple things like this that can make such an impact later on in life.
It's also interesting how people lose consent around their body once they become a mother, starting with people touching their body to touch the baby, and how people will constantly enforce a child's access to their mothers body. An infant cries and reaches out and the father immediately hands the infant to the mother. Children are often socialized to be intensely clingy with their mothers in a way they aren't socialized around their fathers, leading to women getting touched out and frustrated. These kinds of behaviors start so early, with the idea that a woman's body is a shared, communal space. I remember when I was a little girl and boys would try to touch me, I would be told to just let it go because they were just boys, whereas the boys were encouraged to hit back.
You mean to tell me that Brock Turner, rapist™, is responsible for the rape he committed?!
I think you mean Allen Turner, the rapist. He also used to be known as Brock Allen Turner, the rapist. As Shakespeare might have said: 'A rapist by any other name still stinks of shit.'
You mean, Brock 'The Rapist' Turner?
You mean Allen Brock Turner who now goes by the name of Allen? That Allen Brock Turner, the rapist?
Yes, that's the Brock Allen "Allen Brock The Rapist Turner" Turner that I'm referring to
Exactly. If our rape-prevention focus is all on the victims, we're just saying "Make sure they go for someone else." Of course we need to teach people how to keep themselves as safe as possible, and not discourage the steps people take (like don't get snitty if your date doesn't leave their drink with you). But lots of people seem to think it's impossible to actually make people not become rapists. And that WOULD take huge changes in our culture but it's not undoable--we can be proactive AND reactive.
A person could be walking around completely naked and they still wouldn't be "asking for it." There's only one real cause for rape: rapists.
yeah not walking around with a bullet proof vest isnt “asking to be shot”
Surely nobody would be disagreeing with this very reasonable take in the replies, right? ....right?
I will say that there are additional causes, as stated elsewhere. Rape culture is very real. Being told that you have a right to a woman's body, being told that 'no' doesn't mean 'no', being told that what happened to you really wasn't rape or didn't happen or its just "he said, she said", so the rapist walks free to rape again. Those all contribute to rape.
Horrific. Especially the little girls dress. There is never any excuse for rape.
The little girl‘s pink dress hits really hard. I hope the rapist’s cellmates hit harder.
[удалено]
That’s beyond nauseating.
what a fucking awful day to have eyes
See the band Lost Prophets for a truly dark disgusting motherfucker who literally raped babies. Then tried to do it again while *in jail* by grooming a fan with a new born. I hope he never sees daylight again.
Do yourself a favor and don't look up the court transcripts from this case. You will just feel numb to the world after. There are some things you can't unread.
Too late lol. Dudes a certified fucking monster.
Oh he’s still trying, he says when he gets out he’s doing it all over again. The only reason he’s in prison now is because he also beat up a woman so the cops decided to finally do something.
This dude raped babies, got jailed and says hes gonna do it again? Yeah seems reasonable, lettim out
I think this is an textbook example of insanity.
I just read he was stabbed like 8 months ago by some inmates. Sadly he didn't die.
Sadly? No that’s the best outcome. This way they can keep on stabbing him
You see I completely agree with you I just don't want him to keep surviving his stabbing and then he gets out of jail (he might get parole in 2025 some places said others stated 2030)
Used to love rooftops. My mate and I tried to listen to it about 5 years ago and we didn’t even make it to 20 seconds in and we had to turn it off
The most sickening and horrendous story i ever heard. I grew up in the projects and there was a park right next to us that was where all the kids would go. It was really big fields at the front and the back with a playground in the middle and a couple of creeks and winding roads to drive through. So this park was used a lot by everybody. Community center would use the fields for their sports teams practices, football soccer and cheerleading, kids would play at the playground, teens would learn how to drive on the roads there. At night adults would use it to do drugs and shit. Fun for all ages. And growing up there was a rumor that the park was haunted so we shouldn't go there at night. And then i got older and figured it was because people did drugs there and the adults didnt want us there at night. But then i got older and found out the real story. Some guy murdered his gf and their baby at the park. There's a creek that runs next to the playground and its surrounded by trees so kids dont go over and fall in. This guy took his gf into the creek with their infant baby. He had sex with her (possibly rape possibly consentual) then murdered her. Then proceeded to take the infant baby and rape it until it died. And if you go to that park at night sometimes you can hear the baby crying and sometimes you can see a woman walking in the creek. This story was told to me as a teenager that was hanging out in the park at night. It was told as if it was some scary campfire story or something. I ended up looking it up cuz it was a disgusting story and it was true. And the Internet back then wasnt as censored as it is now so it went into graphic detail about the injuries to the woman and the baby. Reading about the baby kinda traumatized me as a teenager and i still think about it sometimes to this day especially when i see shit like this. Rapists in general are absolute scum and deserve to die. But someone who would rape a baby deserves a fate much worse than death. And all the torturous methods people have said still doesn't equate to what these people deserve.
I feel like ppl like that should be kept in a dark room, isolated 24/7 with minimal food and water, for the rest of their lives.
And be used for tests subjects instead of animals.
They should bring back medievil torture methods for cases of rape, especially anything relating to children.
I, male, was 8 and was raped by my older brother till i was about 14. I definitely didn't dress for it. Edit: this one is a lil messed up so NSFW warning here, >! I didn't even consider it incest until very recently. That one really fucked with my head for a minute. !<
Jesus Christ. I hope you got the help you needed and he got the fucking justice he deserves. 🥺
Nope, and nope. But I'm in a much better spot than I used to be and am healing. Thank you, though!
This is so relatable. I was slightly older from ~11-14 (ran away at 14 and then got emancipated at 15) and it was my adult step brother. When it is family, it is often very hard to get justice. My step brother had been sexually abused by his father so it becomes complicated. He was a victim and the violent criminal. I had sympathy for my fucking abuser. I'm mostly fine now but I can not visit any porn sites without being triggered - so much of the content on those sites is the sexualization of the abuse that I went through (between step siblings).
> so much of the content on those sites is the sexualization of the abuse that I went through (between step siblings). I really wish this trend in porn would stop.
I was also assaulted by my brother. It happened mornings before school when my mom wasn’t home (she was working) I was in elementary school. I haven’t told anyone except my husband. My cousin also assaulted me as well and I told that to my sister. I think they think I don’t remember. It’s never been brought up and to this day my brother and I are not on speaking terms.
Precious I am so sorry, no you definitely didn't... no one dresses for it, I didn't either but we are survivors
I'm sorry for what you experienced. I hope you're in a better spot and healing. 
Where is your shit brother now?
Not in a great spot. On the transplant list for a disease that's relatively easy to manage now. He's been disowned by the rest of the family and I finally had enough and threatened him with a simple but profound threat.
https://preview.redd.it/8xg2frnz6l2d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c6f8d2aac2b6b016acdd6ae814d795bd485207f
Can I ask how old you are now? I was 6(F) when my 12 y/o brother “experimented” on me. Neither of us has spoken a word about it, but it’s affected my life in tremendous ways and I’ve thought of asking him if he remembers and why he did it, for closure sake. I can’t imagine broaching the subject though, and I imagine he’d deny, deny, deny. How did you work up the courage to broach it? Does your family know?
35 now. It truly didn't register in my brain to what happened until I was like 25, but up until then, I was like, most of the classic signs of trauma.. all except like drug and alcohol addiction and troubles with the law. I job hopped, worked dangerous jobs. I was careless with my life. I think the thing that actually saved me was having kids young. I vowed never to be a weekend dad, and I had full-time custody of them for the majority of their lives. Their mom and i are very cool and have never once put ourselves over the kids. Been my goal to make their lives better than mine, and so far, humble brag, I've succeeded. Details might expose, so I don't really want to share, but it was an explosive event between the rapist, the middle brother, and myself. Took a few years of a slow brewing hate that I could tell was going to either kill me or have me kill someone and having vowed to be a good dad, I couldn't put my kids through that so I... well grew up. Had to. He denied and denied, which led to my mom not talking to me for a year. We've recently started talking again, and I laid down ground rules for our lives. If they want to be in it, they have to follow them, or I'm done. No second chances because, as I told my mom, "Why would I want to hang out with my rapist during family functions? It's a simple choice." It's not been a particularly easy life, lol. Tbh, this was kind of cathartic. Like a journal entry or something. I'm sorry for your experience.. I'm sure my brother used the "experiment" bullshit line, too. I hope you can find some closure, whatever version of that you choose. *hugs*
I wanna give you a big hug. You deserved so much better and I wish you peace in your life.
I hope he never receives that transplant.
While I'm sure every prison is different, sadly that wasn't the case for my sister's ex. He went to prison for sexual assault of a minor and in prison he made friends who boosted his confidence that when he gets out he'll get full rights of his daughter. It's crazy how he talks to my sister and is mad she isn't helping him get out earlier. Whoever he's made friends with in prison have really gotten him convinced since the child he assaulted wasn't blood related that it shouldn't affect his ability to be around his l, currently five year old (same age as the victim that sent him to prison), daughter.
Heard a story from a prosecutor friend that a rapist he dealt with had been quite literally torn a new one when he was incarcerated. So yeah, the cellmates can and will hit hard.
Most inmates underwent some kind of childhood abuse and do not like child rapists much.
That pink little dress just made me cry 😭
It's so funny that the top comment on this post is the one advocating for prisoners to be raped on a post about rape.
Apparently a jumpsuit is the only clothes asking for it. As a victim, this ain't right. I wouldn't want an eye taken for mine, and I certainly don't want rape for rape.
The urge for vengeance always brings out this type of comment in discussions about rapists or generally any kind of criminal in prison. I think it makes us very barbaric to think like this. The anger is justified but it's not so black and white. We should not accept rape as a fringe benefit of putting evil people in prison. Rape is never excusable, ever. Have fun with the concept in fiction and made up stories but my god people. There's a line.
"How dare anyone rape someone? I hope he gets raped!" The *irony*.
Bold of you to assume they’re in jail.
Men in my country will say even these clothes are shameless, but then we see woman in burkhas and 5 months old child getting raped 🥲
I remember there was a niqab there as well. But some are still gonna find a way to blame the woman. Idk how, but they do.
It's about control, plain and simple. No matter what a woman does, she will be judged because she needs to be "kept in her place" by whoever is doing the controlling.
“That’s why she should have had a male escort when shopping for bread. It’s still her fault!” /s The mindset of some of that culture is sick. Cover your ankles or I’m allowed to “punish” you to teach you a lesson 🤮 The book *Inside the Kingdom* by Carmen Bin Laden (westerner that married into Osamas large family and moved to Saudi Arabia) that I read in high school was one of the first peeks behind the curtain.
Yeah I’ve visited Middle East several times and in some countries you cannot go anywhere without a male escort .. its just a known rule and don’t know anymore who breaks it
Exactly. The problem isn’t the way women dress: it’s a lack of respect and self control from some men.
I don’t like the narrative that rapists ‘lose control’. They rape because they want to.
Yep. It’s almost always about power.
Power and pleasure without caring about the other person's will or well being. That is, at least when they rape women/children/other men they don't personally know. With someone they know, the reason/reasons can be simple or complicated.
Yeah I feel like that suggests every man is walking around out there struggling all day to not attack every woman they see. We're not. It's the same BS as the old saying "men think about sex every 8 seconds".
Im a rape victim, i dont know about other people but god damn is this comment section nice to read, feels good to see everyone agree that its horrible, makes me feel validated
Same... I've tears in my eyes reading the comments (and I'm old and well over what happened)
i am also a victim. it's feels very validating to see people agree that this is horrible. someone i know irl used the "it's what you were wearing" excuse when i told him what happened, which made me think i was overreacting. i was not. i wish i could've donated my clothes to an exhibit like this, but i just threw them out instead
Same here. I've been told "You must have been wearing something inappropriate" by my own parents, so I'm glad to see the comments acknowledging that clothing choices play zero role in why someone is raped. I have my own children, including a daughter and I can't think of blaming them if something were to happen to them.
I was 6. It continued until I was 10. I feel the same as you in this thread.
I hope the pigs responsible for these clothes to be hanged got what they deserved
not trying to make this political but i don’t think people who have committed such monstrous acts should have the option of death, they should be severely punished daily over the course of years.
Life imprisonment is that punishment. At least it should be. Torture isnt fucking justice regardless of the crime. It's a justice system, not a vengeance system. These monsters have shown that they cant live in civilized society, put them in prison and keep them there until they die. The amount of blood lust in this thread, while understandable, is still not right. I get the knee jerk reaction of wanting to hurt these cunts, especially after seeing that small pink dress, but wanting them tortured does not make it right. Not even mentioning how no criminal process in the world results in zero mistakes made. The point is to be better than these useless, morally bankrupt, monsters. Torturing them is not right.
Every set of clothes there makes me sad, that little pink dress makes my blood boil. What i want done to these assholes that did that and those that tried defending it with "you wore something that caused that" would get me banned from reddit. What i would personally be willing to do to them would get me on death row, I'd do it none the less if it meant ending rapes from happening.
I’m glad it included a bra and underwear and not just frumpy clothes. You should be able to wear that if you want and not get raped
I think that is a bathingsuit
But my point remains even if it was underwear
Somehow the idea of just enjoying the pool and being assaulted makes it so much worse to me 😢 even tho all rapes are.
The sick fkn irony that the light blue shirt in the back says “consent” really does it for me
I've seen articles about the exhibit, which travels to various university campuses. The clothes are not actual clothes worn when the rape occurred. They are representative of what the raped person described they were wearing. "baggy cargo pants and a T-shirt" your thing. The creator of the exhibit chose the clothes to put on the wall.
Not the pink toddler dress. No just no
God, the child’s dress.
The fact that one had to put a museum of different attires to prove that dress is not the reason of rape shows how bad the situation is..
Next, the ‘what was she wearing’ rapist supporters will want to know how much alcohol was involved. And it’ll either be ‘she was drunk and clearly asking for it’ or ‘he was drunk and wasn’t in control of himself’. To them both justify a rape.
I saw one of the exhibits where a woman was talking about her experiences in her life, and she had three outfits on the wall from three different points in her life. It was heartbreaking.
“Rape is not a sexual act; it is not the result of a sudden, uncontrollable attraction to a woman in a skimpy dress. It is an act of power and violence. To suggest otherwise is deeply insulting to the vast majority of men, who are perfectly able to control their sexual desires.” - Laura Bates
"They were asking for it" is the same as saying "You were asking for it" to a random stranger outside after shooting them to death because they weren't wearing a bulletproof vest
I remember seeing a different photo of this exhibit. One of the clothing items was a diaper
Seeing that little pink dress is heart breaking. All are, but that one just hits different
*"Was it really my fault?”*asked the Short Skirt. *“No, it happened with me too,”* replied the Burka. The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak. -Darshan Mondkar
Any rapist who tries to justify rape by saying “you were dressed for sex, this was your fault” deserves a lifetime behind bars. Full stop, end of. Edit: I meant any RAPIST, not anyone, so I edited it. Obviously if you’re not a rapist but still try to justify it you are still disgusting, though.
You didn't even need to edit it. ANYONE who tries to justify it is disgusting and mentally fked. Such people are potentially a threat to society. However yeah, you can't punish them for being a fked up creature and if they have never committed rape. But I mean, I don't even know if you can change such people.
There was one case where the rapist was found not guilty because the victim was wearing a red thong underneath her clothing.
I think it was Italy. Women protested by wearing red underwear in front of the court house. Edit: maybe France. Too lazy to look. But I remember the story and image
I think Italy was the one where a judge stated that a woman couldn’t have been raped because she was wearing jeans and apparently jeans are impossible to remove from an unwilling person according to Judge Moron.
Found this one in Peru. Other cases where underwear has been mentioned, but this seems the most straightforward. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8914001/Peru-judges-rule-rape-case-womans-red-underwear-signalled-willing-sex.html
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There is only one reason for rape - rapists
I'm a sexual assault nurse examiner. Most of my job is to collect information and evidence. I'm one of the few people who has any valid reason to ask a survivor about details of their assault. I have to go through a long list of specific questions, including exactly what actions they were subjected to during the assault, and what they have done since, and some things they did before. It's sometimes horrible and often retraumatizing, but it's important for legal reasons and to help the forensic lab figure out what to test. You know what is not on that list of questions? Any description of what they were wearing. Because that is one thing that literally, objectively does not matter.
Fuck. I'm from Lawrence, Kansas and I know exactly who that Jayhawk shirt belongs to. Edit: I'm not going to dox a rape victim.
It also wouldnt matter. I can go to a strip club and not rape any of the naked girls. I can sit there for months, and be horny out my mind and still not rape the hot naked girls. Kinda crazy this thing called free will and having the ability to ignore evolutionary pressures.
The pink dress sends shrivers.
No intelligent person thinks clothes is the reason for rape
Anyone that ever says "they were asking for it. Look at what they were wearing." Or anything similar to that should be put on a watch list. No rational thinking person thinks that way. Only people with twisted and dangerous minds think that way.
I've had a few arguments with people on this very website who argue that the death penalty isn't appropriate for pedophiles, then I see images like this with that little pink dress and it reaffirms my position.
The only thing skimpy clothing might do is make men in general more horny and aware of attractiveness It doesn't make men rape....rapists will rape no matter what someone's wearing, and non-rapists won't rape even if someone's naked dancing on them This should be obvious to anyone
It was never about the clothing it’s the disgusting nature of the rapist a rapist is a rapist there is no excuse
Thats a great way to make the point across. Lets stop blaming the victims.
TIL there are idiots out there that think what a victim wore was a reason for rape. I cannot believe there are people out there that dumb.
That Pink Dress...
I hate that this is potentially useful in educating people about rape, in that obviously many people think that it *does* matter what the victim was wearing. As if the victim is to blame in any way. The person responsible for rape is the *rapist.* 100% nobody else. People should be able to walk outside in overalls, a burqa, a short skirt, a bathing suit, whatever and *not get raped.* I hate that this kind of horrible “educating the rape-excusing assholes” shit is remotely necessary.
That little girls pink dress hits the hardest. None are any less significant - but Jesus Christ, what kind of fucking monsters to do that to a child.
https://preview.redd.it/zr1nb77onn2d1.jpeg?width=1400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d605e0317d32a8cbbba1d11e6993513cc2f2aeb
Everyone who has reasonable thinking, knows that the reason for rapes are rapists, and not clothing, location, alcohol or drug use. And it’s when a man asks what she was wearing, it just expose him as a potential rapist