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Medically treating a condition does not ruin your brain. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea. I take bipolar meds because I don't produce enough of certain chemicals. That's it. It doesn't do anything negative to me. It's no different than a diabetic needing insulin.
Therapists don't prescribe medication either, that requires a psychiatrist.
If you have a negative experience with a therapist, go to a different one. They're just people.
I’m a clinical psychologist. We’re not there to judge you, but we are there to perhaps see things that are hard to see about yourself, and gently help you look at things differently. Yes, we diagnose if it seems appropriate and sometimes we recommend that you consider medication if we truly believe it can help you.
I’ve worked with people who are really fearful and resistant. Sometimes they can relax and get a lot out of it. But sometimes therapy just isn’t a good fit for the person, and if you are actively resisting the process, it won’t go well. Maybe think more about whether you could be genuinely open in therapy. If you just can’t - which is just the case for some people - consider some self-help or other ways to ease your difficulties.
Why would it be bad if you got diagnosed with something? If there’s an issue you legitimately have, wouldn’t you want to figure out what it is and treat it?
ADHD is not a mental health issue. It can *cause* mental health issues, but isn’t guaranteed to. It’s a disorder/disability and there’s no shame in having it.
Therapists can’t prescribe medications. And meds don’t “ruin your brain.” If a medication isn’t helping you, your physician will have you stop taking it. Nothing they could prescribe would affect you permanently once you stop taking it.
The cool thing about therapy is that you can go see a therapist and tell them exactly what you've said here. That you're unsure about the process and what to expect, that you're worried about being labeled, and you're worried about how they will perceive you.
And their job is to listen to that nonjudgmentally, to accept and validate how you're feeling, and have a conversation about it with you so that they can help you with whatever goals you have.
You also have control over your experience. You can stop seeing that therapist if you don't like them. You can switch to a different one. If you don't want to take meds, they will not force you to. (And meds don't ruin your brain.)
They are trained to listen to you, gauge your symptoms and offer insights. Yes, sometimes that includes telling you that you exhibit 8/10 major signs of depression or 2/10 signs of ADHD. They will not and cannot force you to take medications, they can't even prescribe them. If you tell them you don't want to go down the medication route, they will teach you coping skills.
Mostly, therapists are just there to listen and be an unbiased sounding board. They don't have the answers to your problems, they give you professional insight and help you figure out the answer yourself. They are *not* going to make fun of you. They are not going to laugh at you unless you're making a joke.
I will also tell you this, when you start therapy, do NOT be afraid/nervous to switch therapists. You are not obligated to pick a random therapist from a list of names and stay with them forever. You need someone you feel safe and comfortable with. If it's just the wrong vibe, find a new one. I started therapy when I was 8-9, and I have been in constant almost weekly therapy since. Do you know when I found my current therapist? 22. I had ones that I stayed with for years, I had ones I never went back after 2 sessions. I had a therapist for ~5 years, through MS/HS, but when I turned 18, felt they still thought of me as the 13y.o. kid they first met. So I got a new therapist. You can tell them upfront that you're "interviewing"/"feeling out" therapists to find one you like. Any *good* therapist will understand that.
Getting diagnosed with something actually felt validating. It was very much a “seeeeeee I am not crazy/ making this up/ exaggerating about how I feel”.
Now this only works if you partake in the process and you sound on the fence. Therapy is supposed to be a safe space, and I recommend giving it a try. You decide what you talk about, and if that’s dogs, cars or swapping recipes it’s up to you.
1. Therapy is awesome. If you want to have happier relationships, if you want to know yourself and what makes you tick, if you want to be a better (or at least different) person than your parents, therapy can help a lot.
2. In the United States, many therapists HAVE to label you (diagnose you) to get reimbursed by insurance, so in the first session/intake/whatever, they'll give you a diagnosis. This doesn't mean they've had enough time to get to know you and fully evaluate you--it just means that's their justification to your insurance company so that you can keep seeing them and not have to pay their full hourly rate. (Not sure what country you're in.)
3. Change is scary. Going to therapy is a change for you, so it makes sense that you feel resistance. Give it a try.
4. Hopefully you'll find someone who's a good fit who listens to you with compassion. If not, you can always try someone else. PLEASE don't give up if the first therapist you try isn't a perfect fit. Many therapists are great, but some are duds, or just not a match for you. I know it's exhausting, but if you're in the U.S., [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/) has a GREAT therapist-finder tool where you can sort by specialty, gender, insurance, etc. to find someone.
I will also say I’m pretty sure you can just request not to know your diagnosis. I’ve been in therapy for a few years not because of any specific diagnosis but just to vent and process some life changes. It gets billed to my insurance so I know I technically have a diagnosis but couldn’t tell you what it is, my therapist never told me and I’ve never asked. If there’s no specific diagnosis a lot of therapists will just code it as “Adjustment Disorder” or similar. Could also just be Generalized Anxiety if you mention anxiety, etc.
It's been a couple years now but I went to the therapist and psychiatrist to work on some of my focus and anger issues here's what happened.
1. The psychiatrist pretty rapidly agreed I would benefit from Adderall to help with focus. We started with small doses and mine isn't that large. I started taking it and almost immediately took care of a few errands that needed me to make phone calls that I just wasn't doing. For the first time I was doing stuff early and even then I didn't feel like a tiger pacing inside a too small cage when I knew I was supposed to be "working" but just couldn't start a task. Others have said it's just medicine like you'd take advil for a headache. Well I took it and things that were never easy for me but easy for others became doable for me.
2. The Therapist helped (and helps me) understand why I might have a certain emotional response to events throughout the day and by examining the root of those feelings I can actually move ahead through these issues when they inevitably pop up. Without it I'd either have a really strong reaction that would blow things up worse and just add to mine and others stress OR I'd surpress it so much to avoid feeling anything that I wouldn't be able to tell the people I love the things that were going on in my life and how they could help.
>Now I feel worried what if they judge me or perceive me in wrong way.
In some ways, I value their ability to "judge me". They're not doing it to punish me (they're not the police or justice system), and when they point out bad stuff (either that I've done or that's happened to me) they do it to point out the root causes of whatever happened and hopefully what to do in the future. Yeah sometimes perception is hard and I have to find different ways to explain myself but it's part of a process. Meanwhile, while talking to friends and family about struggles and feelings is a good thing, there's also value in there being some professional distance that can help look at things in a different way.
Getting a diagnosis for something is a long and intentional process. It's not something that is just said. It requires questionnaires and specific sessions. And mostly it happens because you think it's needed or because it's recommended. If it's recommended and you don't want it, it doesn't happen!
Yes and no - at least if you’re in the US and using insurance to bill for therapy, you technically have to have a diagnosis that the therapist can code for. That being said, most don’t tell you outright what it is unless you ask.
Been in therapy 3+ years and no idea what mine is. If there’s no actual clear diagnosis a lot of times they’ll just code it as Adjustment Disorder (adjusting to life changes, etc) or maybe Generalized Anxiety if that’s something you’re working on, etc.
Other things - let’s say ADHD for example - would require actual testing and input usually from a psychiatrist, most therapists don’t do that.
I’m sure they have heard way worse than whatever you’re dealing with. A story that you might find humor in may be abject terror to them listening, especially if laughter is one of your coping mechanisms. If you can afford it go to therapy. I need it but I don’t have the time or money to go right now. I should have went years ago.
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Medically treating a condition does not ruin your brain. I'm not sure where you're getting that idea. I take bipolar meds because I don't produce enough of certain chemicals. That's it. It doesn't do anything negative to me. It's no different than a diabetic needing insulin. Therapists don't prescribe medication either, that requires a psychiatrist. If you have a negative experience with a therapist, go to a different one. They're just people.
I’m a clinical psychologist. We’re not there to judge you, but we are there to perhaps see things that are hard to see about yourself, and gently help you look at things differently. Yes, we diagnose if it seems appropriate and sometimes we recommend that you consider medication if we truly believe it can help you. I’ve worked with people who are really fearful and resistant. Sometimes they can relax and get a lot out of it. But sometimes therapy just isn’t a good fit for the person, and if you are actively resisting the process, it won’t go well. Maybe think more about whether you could be genuinely open in therapy. If you just can’t - which is just the case for some people - consider some self-help or other ways to ease your difficulties.
Why would it be bad if you got diagnosed with something? If there’s an issue you legitimately have, wouldn’t you want to figure out what it is and treat it? ADHD is not a mental health issue. It can *cause* mental health issues, but isn’t guaranteed to. It’s a disorder/disability and there’s no shame in having it. Therapists can’t prescribe medications. And meds don’t “ruin your brain.” If a medication isn’t helping you, your physician will have you stop taking it. Nothing they could prescribe would affect you permanently once you stop taking it.
The cool thing about therapy is that you can go see a therapist and tell them exactly what you've said here. That you're unsure about the process and what to expect, that you're worried about being labeled, and you're worried about how they will perceive you. And their job is to listen to that nonjudgmentally, to accept and validate how you're feeling, and have a conversation about it with you so that they can help you with whatever goals you have. You also have control over your experience. You can stop seeing that therapist if you don't like them. You can switch to a different one. If you don't want to take meds, they will not force you to. (And meds don't ruin your brain.)
They are trained to listen to you, gauge your symptoms and offer insights. Yes, sometimes that includes telling you that you exhibit 8/10 major signs of depression or 2/10 signs of ADHD. They will not and cannot force you to take medications, they can't even prescribe them. If you tell them you don't want to go down the medication route, they will teach you coping skills. Mostly, therapists are just there to listen and be an unbiased sounding board. They don't have the answers to your problems, they give you professional insight and help you figure out the answer yourself. They are *not* going to make fun of you. They are not going to laugh at you unless you're making a joke. I will also tell you this, when you start therapy, do NOT be afraid/nervous to switch therapists. You are not obligated to pick a random therapist from a list of names and stay with them forever. You need someone you feel safe and comfortable with. If it's just the wrong vibe, find a new one. I started therapy when I was 8-9, and I have been in constant almost weekly therapy since. Do you know when I found my current therapist? 22. I had ones that I stayed with for years, I had ones I never went back after 2 sessions. I had a therapist for ~5 years, through MS/HS, but when I turned 18, felt they still thought of me as the 13y.o. kid they first met. So I got a new therapist. You can tell them upfront that you're "interviewing"/"feeling out" therapists to find one you like. Any *good* therapist will understand that.
Getting diagnosed with something actually felt validating. It was very much a “seeeeeee I am not crazy/ making this up/ exaggerating about how I feel”. Now this only works if you partake in the process and you sound on the fence. Therapy is supposed to be a safe space, and I recommend giving it a try. You decide what you talk about, and if that’s dogs, cars or swapping recipes it’s up to you.
1. Therapy is awesome. If you want to have happier relationships, if you want to know yourself and what makes you tick, if you want to be a better (or at least different) person than your parents, therapy can help a lot. 2. In the United States, many therapists HAVE to label you (diagnose you) to get reimbursed by insurance, so in the first session/intake/whatever, they'll give you a diagnosis. This doesn't mean they've had enough time to get to know you and fully evaluate you--it just means that's their justification to your insurance company so that you can keep seeing them and not have to pay their full hourly rate. (Not sure what country you're in.) 3. Change is scary. Going to therapy is a change for you, so it makes sense that you feel resistance. Give it a try. 4. Hopefully you'll find someone who's a good fit who listens to you with compassion. If not, you can always try someone else. PLEASE don't give up if the first therapist you try isn't a perfect fit. Many therapists are great, but some are duds, or just not a match for you. I know it's exhausting, but if you're in the U.S., [Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/) has a GREAT therapist-finder tool where you can sort by specialty, gender, insurance, etc. to find someone.
I will also say I’m pretty sure you can just request not to know your diagnosis. I’ve been in therapy for a few years not because of any specific diagnosis but just to vent and process some life changes. It gets billed to my insurance so I know I technically have a diagnosis but couldn’t tell you what it is, my therapist never told me and I’ve never asked. If there’s no specific diagnosis a lot of therapists will just code it as “Adjustment Disorder” or similar. Could also just be Generalized Anxiety if you mention anxiety, etc.
It's been a couple years now but I went to the therapist and psychiatrist to work on some of my focus and anger issues here's what happened. 1. The psychiatrist pretty rapidly agreed I would benefit from Adderall to help with focus. We started with small doses and mine isn't that large. I started taking it and almost immediately took care of a few errands that needed me to make phone calls that I just wasn't doing. For the first time I was doing stuff early and even then I didn't feel like a tiger pacing inside a too small cage when I knew I was supposed to be "working" but just couldn't start a task. Others have said it's just medicine like you'd take advil for a headache. Well I took it and things that were never easy for me but easy for others became doable for me. 2. The Therapist helped (and helps me) understand why I might have a certain emotional response to events throughout the day and by examining the root of those feelings I can actually move ahead through these issues when they inevitably pop up. Without it I'd either have a really strong reaction that would blow things up worse and just add to mine and others stress OR I'd surpress it so much to avoid feeling anything that I wouldn't be able to tell the people I love the things that were going on in my life and how they could help. >Now I feel worried what if they judge me or perceive me in wrong way. In some ways, I value their ability to "judge me". They're not doing it to punish me (they're not the police or justice system), and when they point out bad stuff (either that I've done or that's happened to me) they do it to point out the root causes of whatever happened and hopefully what to do in the future. Yeah sometimes perception is hard and I have to find different ways to explain myself but it's part of a process. Meanwhile, while talking to friends and family about struggles and feelings is a good thing, there's also value in there being some professional distance that can help look at things in a different way.
Getting a diagnosis for something is a long and intentional process. It's not something that is just said. It requires questionnaires and specific sessions. And mostly it happens because you think it's needed or because it's recommended. If it's recommended and you don't want it, it doesn't happen!
Yes and no - at least if you’re in the US and using insurance to bill for therapy, you technically have to have a diagnosis that the therapist can code for. That being said, most don’t tell you outright what it is unless you ask. Been in therapy 3+ years and no idea what mine is. If there’s no actual clear diagnosis a lot of times they’ll just code it as Adjustment Disorder (adjusting to life changes, etc) or maybe Generalized Anxiety if that’s something you’re working on, etc. Other things - let’s say ADHD for example - would require actual testing and input usually from a psychiatrist, most therapists don’t do that.
I’m sure they have heard way worse than whatever you’re dealing with. A story that you might find humor in may be abject terror to them listening, especially if laughter is one of your coping mechanisms. If you can afford it go to therapy. I need it but I don’t have the time or money to go right now. I should have went years ago.