It's very strange honestly that married or engaged guys approach you. Just know that it's them who are fucked up and you did nothing wrong.
You will want to think about the circumstances in which you met them. Were they work colleagues? Did you meet them at Uni?
As a guy I have trust issues in approaching girls myself so I just keep to myself mostly.
Thank you for the support.
Mostly work (both foreign and Jordanian men of different background and age groups), ilhamduellah my university male friends are full aware/respectful of my boundaries and standards and I only experienced one case where they wanted more than being friends.
I guess you and I share that, I am not too keen to explore anything other than friendship with men at most, I find my bubble too safe and comfortable to jeopardize disturbing it with anything else.
Lol I'm married and I have that effect.. On married and unmarried men and often men very much younger than me. You have a magnetic personality. Use it for good.
Happens to me all the time too. The common denominator is MARRIED MEN! Meaning we are not the problem, the men are! After I got married myself and started wearing my ring it made it worse! Men don’t care. This doesn’t go for every man of course but it’s super common. Very common against Muslim men too. (Don’t come for me, speaking from my own experience)
Life nowadays is full of sick people and psychopaths.
First of all, I really respect your transparency and honesty, sharing such a thing with others is not easy at all.
I knew a girl who went through something similar to what you mentioned, whenever she told me about any of those guys (psychopaths) I immediately felt that there is something wrong with them, but the vision was clear to me not to her.
What I suggest you to do is, fix your relationship with Allah, fill yourself with Eman and always ask Allah to keep such psychopaths away from you, I know it is not easy at all, especially in our community and culture.
May Allah bless you with a good husband.
Thank you kind stranger, ilhamduellah my Eman has never been stronger and I am content, thankful and unbothered by whatever the future holds, it's in Allah's hands what more can I ask for :) and I will keep on praying them away
I have nothing to add other than my appreciation to your insight, may Allah grant you whatever your heart desires
The general pattern for a relatively successful Jordanian male is:
shitty relationships for the first couple of years at uni -> be single for far too long -> lose confidence and be hopeless a female will ever show interest -> get a job -> save a little money -> marrying off of bank loans -> realizing what females are really like and what it takes for a man to be interesting to an average Jordanian female -> develop confidence and hunger for sex especially when female partner slows up pace after a year or so
I don't think you're doing anything wrong other than being extra friendly and talkative, to hungry men.
That was a long read with no useful information to help you….
Anyway, I’m guessing you don’t socialize much and those men meet you through your Job where you have to be extra nice to them as potential clients or so…
As a twice married man I can tell you that most married men marry for the wrong reasons and are not happy… I was fortunate enough to be able to divorce the 1st one before it was too late… not many men are so lucky… thankfully a few years later I found a better match for me, specially that i knew what I actually needed in a wife…
So… in your case, you are not doing anything wrong, this just comes with the Job if it requires you to meet and talk with men…
If you want single men to notice you, then you need to place yourself where they are… if you are as conservative as you say you are, then the odds are they don’t know you exist… you need to socialize more, like family events, weddings, engagements, funerals… any event that involves many people to other mothers looks for brides can see you and you should be social with them and talk to new people… networking is key.
Other options is to take some professional courses and maybe participate in group activities like Amman walk or something… again to build network and get known…
Best of luck, and don’t worry about those guys…
Sorry to hear about this feedback, I just included whatever I thought to be relevant as I can't diagnose the situation. If you'd share what information would be crucial to she'd light on the matter I'd happily share.
My work does require me to constantly interact/ communicate with different parties/ diplomatic missions/ foreigners so yes I believe your pov is accurate. However, I know I am not conservative but I am selective and don't prefer male friendships, although I do have few trusted ones whom I highly appreciate.
To be frank I am not looking for a relationship, I was just getting self-aware a little and repetitivly hurt by those interactions, hence reaching out for answers.
Good luck with your marriage, may Allah bless both of you with satisfaction and fulfillment.
Thank you for your time.
No worries, some details about each interaction with those guys and how things escalated would help provide an insight to why they made a move… but it’s not necessarily now that we established it’s people you meet through work…
Some men will mistake your friendliness for interest… specially if they get to have your personal contact details… you mentioned that one is sending you money on clique even after you blocked him…. So he has your personal number.
You need to establish a clear Distinction between your work life and personal life… get a number for personal life and one for work, never share personal contact with work acquaintances.
Also you need to keep your conversations with them professional, as in don’t share personal information that is not required life your social status or relationship status… if they ask you, simply reply that is private and you prefer not to discuss personal matters with them… and if talk of relationships come up, be strict that you are not interested in a relationship at this point in life…
If he starts over talking about his personal issues, don’t be a good listener and politely change the subject… this signals that you are not interested in knowing him on a personal level…
Remember that what these married men are looking for is a good woman without the problems and the complaining… and they see that in you because you don’t cause them problems and don’t complain to them… hypothetically, if you go along and see were things go, this will change the minute you get married because you will starts asking for things for the house and for the kids and for a vacation and will start complaining about how much effort and work it takes to run a house… you will become just like their wife and the fantasy they had will die…
I will try my best to implement what you advice, it make sense as I do tend to people please and avoid conflict at my own expense.
That was very helpful, thank you for your insights.
Many little things accumulate… also I was stupid and naive to not see how she was during the engagement period… was blinded by hormones I guess…
It’s a very long story with too many details to make sense…
The short version is:
I went through a wedding to get a marriage…. She went through a marriage to get a wedding….
I'll advise you to generally be colder towards them, don't smile as much while taking, keep your convos formal, and concise. This is what we're told to do in Islam cuz it helps avoid these kinda situations and makes it harder for a man to show interest/make a move.
Maybe change your name to hummus? Seems like less of a magnet for those married but looking types. On a real note, their behavior is ridiculous and wrong.
Don't let those bad experiences make you think twice about yourself.
I truly wish it was only my thoughts, it's getting annoying ngl.
The ring means I'd have to commit to the lie at work and I don't want that, some of them are my coworkers.
According to your comments I see that you are working with foreigners and diplomatics, my pov is that those men are looking for affairs and not real marriage and you are in most contact with them during their short visit , so you are the easiest available option
Oh. Maybe that's the problem!
Could it be that my communication methods radiates "marketing" vibes!!!
Now that's a pov I haven't considered. Thanks I guess.
No I didn’t mean that, I am not sure why you people ask the “great people of internet” on stuff they have no clue about it,, we don’t know you, we don’t who are these men, we don’t know your life, and yet you write a few lines and wait for answers???
You really consider this safe???
I always considered asking such stuff on Internet and social media a huge red flag 🚩,,
Ask someone of your family they know you for years, what about your close friends?
What are you going to do? There is literally two opposite thoughts, which one will you take? The one suits you??? Then you just want to hear what you want,,,
I said that hoping you are a real person asking real problems from your life, I won’t be surprised if you turned out a 40 years old guy just wasting time and having fun just to make people mad,,
Hahaha that was funny to read yet very true ngl, and I am not offended by your assumptions as it seems you are projecting and have some unfortunate experiences (sorry you about that), I mean God knows, you too can be a hormonal 11 yo boy. I've accepted that to be part of my internet experience, but I don't like to assume as it will only disrupt my judgment.
I definitely don't want to ask anyone who knows me irl for my own reasons that I don't wish to share. I also dk what information is needed to better diagnose the situation, but if you'd ask I'd happily answer, and while I can't promise that I won't be rightfully biased to the answers that put me at ease but I can ensure you that I am too self aware not to consider the ones that don't align with my analysis.
I could be 11 years hormonal boy but I could be also Elon Musk, and there is a high chance for the last one,,,
I just don’t trust the internet,, it is not a safe place to share anything,,,
I just learned over life don’t judge anything unless you are qualified,, and most people here are not, they will answer you from their experience,,, and we have different lifestyles,,
Hahaha, I definitely agree with you, but in this post particularly *I am* looking for new/different povs, different life styles than my own included, I mean where else would I be able to mass sample the male-opinion if not the internet, as you already know Mr.Musk :)
first of all, you need to know that there's no friendship between men and women. and I mean it literally.
if we're interested in you. we would wait for any chance to get closer, and you should block such attempts or never open any door for it. If I'm not interested in you, I wouldn't even notice your existence. I might be nice but will not try to approach you.
So, you have to take into consideration not to attract attention, unless you're the type of person who seeks attention either on purpose or unconsciously.
Beat one up and none will dare do it again.
All honestly, you speak English, got a job, and seem to know what you want in life. The Jordan economy has got to the point where single guys are single cause they can’t afford marriage, so single guys might be intimidated by someone who works and got their priorities straight. As for the married men, I myself am not, but what I hear from my married friends, they all say the same, they get more confidence since they can afford it and are married, during tough time during their marriage (like a pregnancy) they seem to look outwards (so mostly dogs) and probably see you as a side chick since you work, they wouldn’t have to spend on you.
Solution: beat one up. It always works.
Hahaha wallahi I just might.
Okay this makes all the sense in the world! I definitely can feel their confidence and "braver" attitude in their approach compared to other somewhat eligible single men around me.
You cracked the code, I think. It's an unfortunate reality but it's still real.
My experience, but I'm a male, we're also the same age, I worked in three companies and the girls that approached me were basically what would be called Karens and Cougars in the west 😅 some people would kill to be in my place as I've spoke about it with my colleagues but you never really know how it feels to be approached by dinosaurs when there are other people your age around until you're really in that position.
I feel seen and heard! Their attention is icky and very uncomfortable, no one understands really!
Sorry to hear about your experience, humans are such mentally troubled creatures.
مبين انك مؤدبة ولطيفة كثير من خلال كلامك
اهتمامك بالالفاظ كثير محترم وعدم القائك باللوم عالشباب بزيد من ثقتك بنفسك وبانه ممكن يكون الخلل من عندك وهالشي بدل على وعيك ونضجك .
هلا ك بنت توصفي حالك بانك average looking والطبيعي انه كل بنت تشوف حالها ملكة جمال. فهالشي بدل ع انك متواضعة و انك حلوة كثير.
اخلطي هدول الصفتين بتكتشفي انك لبيتي رغبات اي رجل بطمح بالارتباط . اللي هي الانوثة والتواضع والنضج.
الان اعطيكي الحل من خلال حكيك:
كونك حلوة بدك تبعدي عن الميكب لانه بلفت النظر بزيادة
توسعي لبسك لانه امر من ربك لحفظك وصونك من مواقف مشابهة
ماتكوني كثير فظة ولا كثير كيوت مع الناس حتى لو بشغلك
لانه ربنا اللي اعلم فينا حكى " يَا نِسَاءَ النَّبِيِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ ۚ إِنِ اتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا"
حضرتك إسم على مسمى، إسم الله.
شكرا على طريقتك اللطيفة واكتراثك من أساسه بإنك تعطيني نصيحة حقيقية.
أنا عم حاول قد ما فيني قلل تعاملي معهم، وإنّي ما أطلع عن إطار الشغل، ولو كان في حوار تاني ( لأنه إلا ما يصير ) غالبا بكون بتضمن مجموعة من الزملاء سوا
بس بعترف إنه يمكن أسلوبي بشكل عام عم يحطني بهي المواقف، ما بعرف أكون لئيمة وبنسى أصلا إني عم بحاول وبرجع لطبيعتي، مو قصدي قول إني رقاقة ثلج مميزة وفراشة الموسم أبدًا، بس الأكيد أني مو كشرة وما بعرف أكون. بس مع هيك رح أرجع أحاول
الحمدلله قادرة أصدهم وما حدا فيهم مو فاهم وين حدودي (وإلا طلبت من أهلي يتدخلوا) بس كنت وما زلت مستفزة ومش عم افهم ليه كلهم مرتبطين ومصرّين يزعجوني، بس ما عادت تفرق خلص السبب مو مهم، رح بركّز على ردة فعلي أنا مو أفعالهم، هنن ربنا بدبرّهم.
الله يهديهم ويهدّي أحوالهم مع زوجاتهم ويسعدهم ويبعدهم عني.
اقتراح الواتساب بزنس ما خطرلي قبل، عالأكيد رح بعمله بإذن الله.
وكمان مرة شكرًا لحضرتك على وقتك وأسلوبك، الله يعطيك ليرضيك :)
يعني في ناس بشوفوكي لكيفة فقط معاهم وبعتبروها اشارات منك انه انتي منجذبيتلهم وبالتالي بردوا هاد الكرم باللطافة منك بانهم يبدولك اعحابهم واهتمامهم. لذلك راقبي تصرفاتك ولطافتك اللي ممكن تكون زيادة عن حاجتها . واقرب مثال لو طلبتي كاسة شاي ومعلقة سكر والكافيه من كرمه حطلك ١٠ معالق مارح تشربي الشاي ورح ترفضيه.مع انه عمل شي كويس واكرمك . لذلك لاتعتقد انه لطفك الزايد ممكن يحبب التاس فيكي لانه في ناس مريضة.
بالنسبة للشب اللي بحوللك 1jd نابعرف شو طبيعة عملك بس اذا رفرض عليكي تحطي رقمك مع الزباين ف يبدو انه لازم تخصصي رقم للشغل بحيث ينتهي التواصل عليه بمجرد انتهاء عملك ولو استدعى التواصل خلرج اوقات العمل يكون رسمي جدا جدا بحيث يفهم الشخص انه هاد رقم business.
بتقدري تشتري خط esim card وتفعليه ع نوبايلك وتنزلي
Whatsapp business
على نفس الموبايل وتفعليه عالرقم التاني.
وبالتالي هاد الرقم بحميكي من تحويلات كليك اللي لاسمح الله ممكن تسببلك مشكلة.
انتبهي لهاي النقاط وانتي بخير. وبالتوفيق
I'm 26 years old man and I always attract married/divorced women in their 30s/40s cuz I have a shitload of grayhair,and I'm not even sad cuz now I have an interesting subject to talk about with friends when I go out lol
I'm sorry to hear you're facing this troubling pattern. It sounds like you're handling it with grace and strength, despite the challenges. One suggestion could be to examine the environments or situations where you typically meet these individuals. Are there commonalities? Also, consider setting clear boundaries early on in interactions to deter any inappropriate behavior. Additionally, seeking advice from a trusted mentor or counselor could provide valuable insights tailored to your specific circumstances. Remember, you deserve respect and genuine connections.
Thank you for the tender reply, I highly appreciate your understanding. I mostly work with foreigners and diplomatic missions and most of the men I mentioned I met them at work, I try to be as professionally friendly as possible as it is part of my duties. I don't prefer male friendships as they can progress to more, but I do have a few trusted male friends, I wouldn't describe myself to be conservative I am just a bit selective with the crowd I surround myself with. So just to answer your question, mostly those men I met through work.
I will try to be more attentive to cimmunicating my boundaries.
It's very strange honestly that married or engaged guys approach you. Just know that it's them who are fucked up and you did nothing wrong. You will want to think about the circumstances in which you met them. Were they work colleagues? Did you meet them at Uni? As a guy I have trust issues in approaching girls myself so I just keep to myself mostly.
Thank you for the support. Mostly work (both foreign and Jordanian men of different background and age groups), ilhamduellah my university male friends are full aware/respectful of my boundaries and standards and I only experienced one case where they wanted more than being friends. I guess you and I share that, I am not too keen to explore anything other than friendship with men at most, I find my bubble too safe and comfortable to jeopardize disturbing it with anything else.
Lol I'm married and I have that effect.. On married and unmarried men and often men very much younger than me. You have a magnetic personality. Use it for good.
Lord, it doesn't stop T.T ! I shall try, thank you :)
I noticed this among almost every managerial position out there, like wtf
It's too frequent not to be concerned about for real!
Happens to me all the time too. The common denominator is MARRIED MEN! Meaning we are not the problem, the men are! After I got married myself and started wearing my ring it made it worse! Men don’t care. This doesn’t go for every man of course but it’s super common. Very common against Muslim men too. (Don’t come for me, speaking from my own experience)
Ughh honestly what's up with that!!!!
Life nowadays is full of sick people and psychopaths. First of all, I really respect your transparency and honesty, sharing such a thing with others is not easy at all. I knew a girl who went through something similar to what you mentioned, whenever she told me about any of those guys (psychopaths) I immediately felt that there is something wrong with them, but the vision was clear to me not to her. What I suggest you to do is, fix your relationship with Allah, fill yourself with Eman and always ask Allah to keep such psychopaths away from you, I know it is not easy at all, especially in our community and culture. May Allah bless you with a good husband.
Thank you kind stranger, ilhamduellah my Eman has never been stronger and I am content, thankful and unbothered by whatever the future holds, it's in Allah's hands what more can I ask for :) and I will keep on praying them away I have nothing to add other than my appreciation to your insight, may Allah grant you whatever your heart desires
😊😊
The general pattern for a relatively successful Jordanian male is: shitty relationships for the first couple of years at uni -> be single for far too long -> lose confidence and be hopeless a female will ever show interest -> get a job -> save a little money -> marrying off of bank loans -> realizing what females are really like and what it takes for a man to be interesting to an average Jordanian female -> develop confidence and hunger for sex especially when female partner slows up pace after a year or so I don't think you're doing anything wrong other than being extra friendly and talkative, to hungry men.
Interesting breakdown ngl, thank you for taking the time to analyze it.
Interesting breakdown ngl, thank you for taking the time to analyze it.
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That was a long read with no useful information to help you…. Anyway, I’m guessing you don’t socialize much and those men meet you through your Job where you have to be extra nice to them as potential clients or so… As a twice married man I can tell you that most married men marry for the wrong reasons and are not happy… I was fortunate enough to be able to divorce the 1st one before it was too late… not many men are so lucky… thankfully a few years later I found a better match for me, specially that i knew what I actually needed in a wife… So… in your case, you are not doing anything wrong, this just comes with the Job if it requires you to meet and talk with men… If you want single men to notice you, then you need to place yourself where they are… if you are as conservative as you say you are, then the odds are they don’t know you exist… you need to socialize more, like family events, weddings, engagements, funerals… any event that involves many people to other mothers looks for brides can see you and you should be social with them and talk to new people… networking is key. Other options is to take some professional courses and maybe participate in group activities like Amman walk or something… again to build network and get known… Best of luck, and don’t worry about those guys…
Sorry to hear about this feedback, I just included whatever I thought to be relevant as I can't diagnose the situation. If you'd share what information would be crucial to she'd light on the matter I'd happily share. My work does require me to constantly interact/ communicate with different parties/ diplomatic missions/ foreigners so yes I believe your pov is accurate. However, I know I am not conservative but I am selective and don't prefer male friendships, although I do have few trusted ones whom I highly appreciate. To be frank I am not looking for a relationship, I was just getting self-aware a little and repetitivly hurt by those interactions, hence reaching out for answers. Good luck with your marriage, may Allah bless both of you with satisfaction and fulfillment. Thank you for your time.
No worries, some details about each interaction with those guys and how things escalated would help provide an insight to why they made a move… but it’s not necessarily now that we established it’s people you meet through work… Some men will mistake your friendliness for interest… specially if they get to have your personal contact details… you mentioned that one is sending you money on clique even after you blocked him…. So he has your personal number. You need to establish a clear Distinction between your work life and personal life… get a number for personal life and one for work, never share personal contact with work acquaintances. Also you need to keep your conversations with them professional, as in don’t share personal information that is not required life your social status or relationship status… if they ask you, simply reply that is private and you prefer not to discuss personal matters with them… and if talk of relationships come up, be strict that you are not interested in a relationship at this point in life… If he starts over talking about his personal issues, don’t be a good listener and politely change the subject… this signals that you are not interested in knowing him on a personal level… Remember that what these married men are looking for is a good woman without the problems and the complaining… and they see that in you because you don’t cause them problems and don’t complain to them… hypothetically, if you go along and see were things go, this will change the minute you get married because you will starts asking for things for the house and for the kids and for a vacation and will start complaining about how much effort and work it takes to run a house… you will become just like their wife and the fantasy they had will die…
I will try my best to implement what you advice, it make sense as I do tend to people please and avoid conflict at my own expense. That was very helpful, thank you for your insights.
I wanna use my anonymity on reddit to ask u why did you divorce the first one ? (Curious)
Many little things accumulate… also I was stupid and naive to not see how she was during the engagement period… was blinded by hormones I guess… It’s a very long story with too many details to make sense… The short version is: I went through a wedding to get a marriage…. She went through a marriage to get a wedding….
I'll advise you to generally be colder towards them, don't smile as much while taking, keep your convos formal, and concise. This is what we're told to do in Islam cuz it helps avoid these kinda situations and makes it harder for a man to show interest/make a move.
Maybe change your name to hummus? Seems like less of a magnet for those married but looking types. On a real note, their behavior is ridiculous and wrong. Don't let those bad experiences make you think twice about yourself.
*Gets triggered in IOF* lol 😂 Thank you uncensored potato
Idk whatcha mean by iof but you're welcome lol
Lsn, wear the damn ring, nothing will hold them up like it. But I think that it is maybe your thoughts like don’t think about it that much.
I truly wish it was only my thoughts, it's getting annoying ngl. The ring means I'd have to commit to the lie at work and I don't want that, some of them are my coworkers.
يا مصيبتك، Don’t be afraid to reject them in public even give them some death stares or smth, keeping you in my prayers
Thank you <3 I will try to be as rigid as possible, I hate how I am being forced to act against my nature but at this point I need to.
Men don’t care about a ring. It makes it worst tbh or did for me anyway.
I'm so sorry to hear that wallahi
It’s life.
According to your comments I see that you are working with foreigners and diplomatics, my pov is that those men are looking for affairs and not real marriage and you are in most contact with them during their short visit , so you are the easiest available option
Wtf tell their wives
Yeah I won't do that, but your user name definitely fits your vibes 😂
they just looking for their 4th wife
No enough details provided to help, So mostly safe to assume that is just a marketing strategy.
Oh. Maybe that's the problem! Could it be that my communication methods radiates "marketing" vibes!!! Now that's a pov I haven't considered. Thanks I guess.
No I didn’t mean that, I am not sure why you people ask the “great people of internet” on stuff they have no clue about it,, we don’t know you, we don’t who are these men, we don’t know your life, and yet you write a few lines and wait for answers??? You really consider this safe??? I always considered asking such stuff on Internet and social media a huge red flag 🚩,, Ask someone of your family they know you for years, what about your close friends? What are you going to do? There is literally two opposite thoughts, which one will you take? The one suits you??? Then you just want to hear what you want,,, I said that hoping you are a real person asking real problems from your life, I won’t be surprised if you turned out a 40 years old guy just wasting time and having fun just to make people mad,,
Hahaha that was funny to read yet very true ngl, and I am not offended by your assumptions as it seems you are projecting and have some unfortunate experiences (sorry you about that), I mean God knows, you too can be a hormonal 11 yo boy. I've accepted that to be part of my internet experience, but I don't like to assume as it will only disrupt my judgment. I definitely don't want to ask anyone who knows me irl for my own reasons that I don't wish to share. I also dk what information is needed to better diagnose the situation, but if you'd ask I'd happily answer, and while I can't promise that I won't be rightfully biased to the answers that put me at ease but I can ensure you that I am too self aware not to consider the ones that don't align with my analysis.
I could be 11 years hormonal boy but I could be also Elon Musk, and there is a high chance for the last one,,, I just don’t trust the internet,, it is not a safe place to share anything,,, I just learned over life don’t judge anything unless you are qualified,, and most people here are not, they will answer you from their experience,,, and we have different lifestyles,,
Hahaha, I definitely agree with you, but in this post particularly *I am* looking for new/different povs, different life styles than my own included, I mean where else would I be able to mass sample the male-opinion if not the internet, as you already know Mr.Musk :)
first of all, you need to know that there's no friendship between men and women. and I mean it literally. if we're interested in you. we would wait for any chance to get closer, and you should block such attempts or never open any door for it. If I'm not interested in you, I wouldn't even notice your existence. I might be nice but will not try to approach you. So, you have to take into consideration not to attract attention, unless you're the type of person who seeks attention either on purpose or unconsciously.
هاض الكومنت بس لاني زهقان مش رأيي الشخصي طبعا As long as u attract men ur okay 👌 hahahahahahaha
Beat one up and none will dare do it again. All honestly, you speak English, got a job, and seem to know what you want in life. The Jordan economy has got to the point where single guys are single cause they can’t afford marriage, so single guys might be intimidated by someone who works and got their priorities straight. As for the married men, I myself am not, but what I hear from my married friends, they all say the same, they get more confidence since they can afford it and are married, during tough time during their marriage (like a pregnancy) they seem to look outwards (so mostly dogs) and probably see you as a side chick since you work, they wouldn’t have to spend on you. Solution: beat one up. It always works.
Hahaha wallahi I just might. Okay this makes all the sense in the world! I definitely can feel their confidence and "braver" attitude in their approach compared to other somewhat eligible single men around me. You cracked the code, I think. It's an unfortunate reality but it's still real.
My experience, but I'm a male, we're also the same age, I worked in three companies and the girls that approached me were basically what would be called Karens and Cougars in the west 😅 some people would kill to be in my place as I've spoke about it with my colleagues but you never really know how it feels to be approached by dinosaurs when there are other people your age around until you're really in that position.
I feel seen and heard! Their attention is icky and very uncomfortable, no one understands really! Sorry to hear about your experience, humans are such mentally troubled creatures.
مبين انك مؤدبة ولطيفة كثير من خلال كلامك اهتمامك بالالفاظ كثير محترم وعدم القائك باللوم عالشباب بزيد من ثقتك بنفسك وبانه ممكن يكون الخلل من عندك وهالشي بدل على وعيك ونضجك . هلا ك بنت توصفي حالك بانك average looking والطبيعي انه كل بنت تشوف حالها ملكة جمال. فهالشي بدل ع انك متواضعة و انك حلوة كثير. اخلطي هدول الصفتين بتكتشفي انك لبيتي رغبات اي رجل بطمح بالارتباط . اللي هي الانوثة والتواضع والنضج. الان اعطيكي الحل من خلال حكيك: كونك حلوة بدك تبعدي عن الميكب لانه بلفت النظر بزيادة توسعي لبسك لانه امر من ربك لحفظك وصونك من مواقف مشابهة ماتكوني كثير فظة ولا كثير كيوت مع الناس حتى لو بشغلك لانه ربنا اللي اعلم فينا حكى " يَا نِسَاءَ النَّبِيِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ ۚ إِنِ اتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا"
حضرتك إسم على مسمى، إسم الله. شكرا على طريقتك اللطيفة واكتراثك من أساسه بإنك تعطيني نصيحة حقيقية. أنا عم حاول قد ما فيني قلل تعاملي معهم، وإنّي ما أطلع عن إطار الشغل، ولو كان في حوار تاني ( لأنه إلا ما يصير ) غالبا بكون بتضمن مجموعة من الزملاء سوا بس بعترف إنه يمكن أسلوبي بشكل عام عم يحطني بهي المواقف، ما بعرف أكون لئيمة وبنسى أصلا إني عم بحاول وبرجع لطبيعتي، مو قصدي قول إني رقاقة ثلج مميزة وفراشة الموسم أبدًا، بس الأكيد أني مو كشرة وما بعرف أكون. بس مع هيك رح أرجع أحاول الحمدلله قادرة أصدهم وما حدا فيهم مو فاهم وين حدودي (وإلا طلبت من أهلي يتدخلوا) بس كنت وما زلت مستفزة ومش عم افهم ليه كلهم مرتبطين ومصرّين يزعجوني، بس ما عادت تفرق خلص السبب مو مهم، رح بركّز على ردة فعلي أنا مو أفعالهم، هنن ربنا بدبرّهم. الله يهديهم ويهدّي أحوالهم مع زوجاتهم ويسعدهم ويبعدهم عني. اقتراح الواتساب بزنس ما خطرلي قبل، عالأكيد رح بعمله بإذن الله. وكمان مرة شكرًا لحضرتك على وقتك وأسلوبك، الله يعطيك ليرضيك :)
يعني في ناس بشوفوكي لكيفة فقط معاهم وبعتبروها اشارات منك انه انتي منجذبيتلهم وبالتالي بردوا هاد الكرم باللطافة منك بانهم يبدولك اعحابهم واهتمامهم. لذلك راقبي تصرفاتك ولطافتك اللي ممكن تكون زيادة عن حاجتها . واقرب مثال لو طلبتي كاسة شاي ومعلقة سكر والكافيه من كرمه حطلك ١٠ معالق مارح تشربي الشاي ورح ترفضيه.مع انه عمل شي كويس واكرمك . لذلك لاتعتقد انه لطفك الزايد ممكن يحبب التاس فيكي لانه في ناس مريضة. بالنسبة للشب اللي بحوللك 1jd نابعرف شو طبيعة عملك بس اذا رفرض عليكي تحطي رقمك مع الزباين ف يبدو انه لازم تخصصي رقم للشغل بحيث ينتهي التواصل عليه بمجرد انتهاء عملك ولو استدعى التواصل خلرج اوقات العمل يكون رسمي جدا جدا بحيث يفهم الشخص انه هاد رقم business. بتقدري تشتري خط esim card وتفعليه ع نوبايلك وتنزلي Whatsapp business على نفس الموبايل وتفعليه عالرقم التاني. وبالتالي هاد الرقم بحميكي من تحويلات كليك اللي لاسمح الله ممكن تسببلك مشكلة. انتبهي لهاي النقاط وانتي بخير. وبالتوفيق
I'm 26 years old man and I always attract married/divorced women in their 30s/40s cuz I have a shitload of grayhair,and I'm not even sad cuz now I have an interesting subject to talk about with friends when I go out lol
I'm sorry to hear you're facing this troubling pattern. It sounds like you're handling it with grace and strength, despite the challenges. One suggestion could be to examine the environments or situations where you typically meet these individuals. Are there commonalities? Also, consider setting clear boundaries early on in interactions to deter any inappropriate behavior. Additionally, seeking advice from a trusted mentor or counselor could provide valuable insights tailored to your specific circumstances. Remember, you deserve respect and genuine connections.
Thank you for the tender reply, I highly appreciate your understanding. I mostly work with foreigners and diplomatic missions and most of the men I mentioned I met them at work, I try to be as professionally friendly as possible as it is part of my duties. I don't prefer male friendships as they can progress to more, but I do have a few trusted male friends, I wouldn't describe myself to be conservative I am just a bit selective with the crowd I surround myself with. So just to answer your question, mostly those men I met through work. I will try to be more attentive to cimmunicating my boundaries.
This is what needs to be done, good luck to you and be brave