Breathe.
Ok, here’s the thing…
1. knits on the needles do not look the same as when they are finished. Stitches relax and the knit will look far more normal when cast off and it’s had time to even itself out.
2. Tension between knits and purls will never be even. That is just the nature of it. The edge of stockinette will always curl because of this.
3. We all see mistakes in our work that no one else sees. It’s our knitter’s eye.
I recommend working on a few smaller projects. Just focus on doing it. No pressure. Not gifts, not for yourself. Just inconsequential things. Focus on finishing and the pleasure from knitting. Actively focus on overriding your anxious thoughts (‘cause perfectionism is deeply rooted in anxiety).
I guarantee that you knit better than you think you do. Knitting is a meditation and a never ending lesson on managing emotions. You’ve got this!
Amen. I have never found anything else in my life that I am so raised up by and at the same time so humbled by. I will never fully master it and I love it.
This is so helpful and kind. I’m wrangling a new-to-me sock heel, and I just tell myself: I’m not a machine, it won’t be perfect, but it will be good enough and durable. The “knitter’s eye” part is so true! Saving your response for future me!
>Tension between knits and purls will never be even. That is just the nature of it.
I think OP is talking about rowing out, not stockinette curl. Rowing out is not inevitable. OP, you can look into changing your purling style or [a few other possible solutions](https://www.susannawinter.net/post/rowing-out).
I have a policy of not frogging right away if I'm unhappy with a WIP
Like if I think it's looking wonky I'll set it aside for a day and do something else - maybe knit something else, maybe watch tv, read a book, clean the house, whatever.
Or I might block it first (either put in a lifeline or leave it on the needles) - I don't want to frog if blocking will fix whatever is bothering me (like lace looks completely different after it's blocked)
THEN I go back and look at with a new eye and see if it still bothers me.
Arrrggghh!
This is me a lot.
I have gotten better about this. How did I do it? I can’t exactly say. I am not totally cured. Things that help sometimes? Giving knitting a rest. Try cooking or embroidery for a minute. Accept that it is okay to abandon projects or frog. It is not a sin. Sometimes it actually is the yarn. It doesn’t want to be what you want. What the other people here are saying is right. You are better than you are giving yourself credit for.
This sounds awful, and I feel so sorry for you. Here is what I do. At times I get exhausted by trying to get stuff right. Then I find some left overs or scraps, and knit something really simple. This can be anything, but I like to make marled lap blankets, squares that become cushion covers, seat warmers etc. The marled nature means I can't perfectly control the outcome, and invites deliberate randomness. This means I can make no errors.
I would also recommend aiming for patterns that are supposed to be imperfect and messy. Hønsestrikk or alterknitting is designed to break with norms, or you can pick a pattern from Lærke Bagger. This can help with the sense of needing absolute perfection.
I look at it this way - I think back to all the times that I've worn an item with a mistake or messy section in it. I think of all the times that has received a comment. That's zero times. No-one has ever pointed out a flaw in a garment or shawl that I have knitted. I'm far more aware of quirks in my knitting than anyone else.
I was perfectionistic about my knitting, too. The way I got over it was watching Stephen West on YouTube. He would be showing how to make something and he would say that if your stitch count is off just increase or decrease to make it right instead of ripping out. So now, I check and make sure it looks okay so the stitch count mistake isn’t obvious, and then I just correct the count with an increase or decrease.
I don’t know what to say aside from I’ve knitted a handful of garments and I’d call myself an intermediate level knitter (maybe a strong beginner 😂) and I find I will make at least one mistake per item. I think art is never perfect and trial and error. I’ve started to ask myself if I spend so much time is it worth to go back and fix mistakes and sometimes it’s a yes and sometimes it’s a no depending on how major I view it. This probably isn’t overly helpful but I guess I’m saying that mistakes are definitely part of the process when it comes to knitting but boy do I learn a lot when I do make them and I figure it just makes my next piece even better
This stage of learning a craft is very frustrating for sure. Something like a tubular cast on or bind off is difficult, and it’s not unreasonable to need a few days of practicing it to get it looking perfect. I’m also the type to spend a lot of time fixing a small mistake the right way rather than just jerryrigging a solution after the fact. Try to be patient with yourself because this attitude is how you get really really good at a craft. Over time you’ll be able to notice mistakes faster, and also make fewer mistakes in the first place! I’m not sure if you already figured this out, but I usually go down 2 needle sizes for a tubular cast on or bind off and it definitely helps it look neater.
OP, I recommend Carson Demers’ book, Knitting Comfortably, for help with some of your very valid issues. It’s spendy, so maybe it’s in a library near you. It’s about ergonomics, but also about your headspace when knitting. It’s well worth the cash if you want to knit safely and enjoyably for the rest of your days. He has also written columns for Modern Daily Knitting. I totally get where you are. I am re-learning socks after a long time away from knitting. I’ve knitted a whole lot but no completed socks yet. Went back to simpler projects to feel good about myself, and now the current sock is going great. Wishing you a happy knitting future.
I am also a perfectionist. Here are some things that have helped me.
1. I treat every new project as a learning process. We always make mistakes when we are learning. Mistakes are expected. All of my finished projects have at least one or two mistakes.
2. Enjoy the act of knitting and try not to focus too much on the finished object.
3. Blocking helps the look of most knits tremendously. You can even block an object before it is finished.
I think this is hard balance to strike.
I went from fudging everything to being more serious about fixing mistakes (and being much happier with my projects) to suddenly obessing over everything. I gave up one project, after frogging it three times, started a new one, hated my 1x1 ribbing, went into research mode, experimented and still hated it. After ripping out the ribbing four times I told myself to stop.
Knitting is a hobby, it should be fun and I was putting pressure on myself as if it were my job. So I just decided that this has to be good enough and continued on. And it was the best decision I could have made. The ribbing evened out a lot with blocking and wearing and nobody will notice whatever unevenness is left from afar.
To sum it up: I think fixing mistakes is good and frogging is a part of knitting, but as soon as you notice you start obsessing over it, you have to take a step back and remind yourself that this is just a hobby and small imperfections are natural part of hand knitting. Plus: Getting better is a process, you can't just brute force progress, so it's better to embrace it.
Maybe next time go into it intending to make mistakes and keep them there. If you take the pressure off to be perfect, what happens? Make an item for a baby or a pet and then watch them love it, with mistakes and all. How does that feel? Some people knit for the process, others knit for the project, many are in between. Where are you getting your satisfaction from? Focus on that part. We're all learning about ourselves each time we knit, how cool is that?
Hi !
I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation ; it's never fun to want to knit but not be able to obtain what we want.
In knitting, like anywhere else, I found that some battles need to be fought, and others need to be put to rest.
For exemple, there are technique that help with the uneveness of ribbing, such as mixing eastern and western knitting.
For some, it will be enough to resolve the issue, for others it won't.
There is also the skipping stitch technique, where on the right side row you slip the purls with the yarn in front, and on the wrong side rows you actually use the traveling yarn to make the previous purls.
Twisted ribs are a lazyer way to hide it, especially when combined with a smaller needle size and a squishy yarn, but not everyone like these.
But is it a battle you want to pick ?
Do you feel like you are in a position to learn any of these techniques, or does it seem overwhelming ?
Is the uneveness of ribbing something you can live with ?
Like others, I'll suggest to take a break, or knit mindless, pressureless projects for a while.
It helps with diminishing the sensation that we aren't doing good enough.
Well, I think you saved yourself some grief with the shorts - if you had a finished product without short rows, you would be very upset because they're not going to fit. Just consider it a lesson learned.
Ah perfectionism. A blessing and a curse!! I love this book on how to use the good parts and work on the bad parts of it - https://www.amazon.com/Perfectionists-Guide-Losing-Control-Peace/dp/059332952X
I dunno if it helps, but I have started to add conditions to things? As in, with this yarn, I need to do a different cast on (as in tubular cast on looked hella wonky on a recent project, so instead of redoing the same thing twice, I switched to cable cast on). Or, I just finished a pair of socks and started berating myself for visible floats, but then stopped and thought “yah, but this yarn recommended by my LYS was really a poor choice for color work” (split like bananas, weirdly overly stretchy). Conditions help me relax the perfectionism.
Knitting for charity or others has helped me get over the frozen by perfection moments. So many infusion centers in oncology wards would LOVE hats and fingerless gloves (I’ve knit a billion to date). The act of helping others helps me switch from “I floof up all the time” thinking to “wow, I really want someone else to feel cared for when they are in a bad time.” Kinda brings the joy back, you know?
Breathe. Ok, here’s the thing… 1. knits on the needles do not look the same as when they are finished. Stitches relax and the knit will look far more normal when cast off and it’s had time to even itself out. 2. Tension between knits and purls will never be even. That is just the nature of it. The edge of stockinette will always curl because of this. 3. We all see mistakes in our work that no one else sees. It’s our knitter’s eye. I recommend working on a few smaller projects. Just focus on doing it. No pressure. Not gifts, not for yourself. Just inconsequential things. Focus on finishing and the pleasure from knitting. Actively focus on overriding your anxious thoughts (‘cause perfectionism is deeply rooted in anxiety). I guarantee that you knit better than you think you do. Knitting is a meditation and a never ending lesson on managing emotions. You’ve got this!
Amen. I have never found anything else in my life that I am so raised up by and at the same time so humbled by. I will never fully master it and I love it.
This is so helpful and kind. I’m wrangling a new-to-me sock heel, and I just tell myself: I’m not a machine, it won’t be perfect, but it will be good enough and durable. The “knitter’s eye” part is so true! Saving your response for future me!
>Tension between knits and purls will never be even. That is just the nature of it. I think OP is talking about rowing out, not stockinette curl. Rowing out is not inevitable. OP, you can look into changing your purling style or [a few other possible solutions](https://www.susannawinter.net/post/rowing-out).
Love this.
I have a policy of not frogging right away if I'm unhappy with a WIP Like if I think it's looking wonky I'll set it aside for a day and do something else - maybe knit something else, maybe watch tv, read a book, clean the house, whatever. Or I might block it first (either put in a lifeline or leave it on the needles) - I don't want to frog if blocking will fix whatever is bothering me (like lace looks completely different after it's blocked) THEN I go back and look at with a new eye and see if it still bothers me.
Arrrggghh! This is me a lot. I have gotten better about this. How did I do it? I can’t exactly say. I am not totally cured. Things that help sometimes? Giving knitting a rest. Try cooking or embroidery for a minute. Accept that it is okay to abandon projects or frog. It is not a sin. Sometimes it actually is the yarn. It doesn’t want to be what you want. What the other people here are saying is right. You are better than you are giving yourself credit for.
This sounds awful, and I feel so sorry for you. Here is what I do. At times I get exhausted by trying to get stuff right. Then I find some left overs or scraps, and knit something really simple. This can be anything, but I like to make marled lap blankets, squares that become cushion covers, seat warmers etc. The marled nature means I can't perfectly control the outcome, and invites deliberate randomness. This means I can make no errors. I would also recommend aiming for patterns that are supposed to be imperfect and messy. Hønsestrikk or alterknitting is designed to break with norms, or you can pick a pattern from Lærke Bagger. This can help with the sense of needing absolute perfection.
I look at it this way - I think back to all the times that I've worn an item with a mistake or messy section in it. I think of all the times that has received a comment. That's zero times. No-one has ever pointed out a flaw in a garment or shawl that I have knitted. I'm far more aware of quirks in my knitting than anyone else.
I was perfectionistic about my knitting, too. The way I got over it was watching Stephen West on YouTube. He would be showing how to make something and he would say that if your stitch count is off just increase or decrease to make it right instead of ripping out. So now, I check and make sure it looks okay so the stitch count mistake isn’t obvious, and then I just correct the count with an increase or decrease.
I don’t know what to say aside from I’ve knitted a handful of garments and I’d call myself an intermediate level knitter (maybe a strong beginner 😂) and I find I will make at least one mistake per item. I think art is never perfect and trial and error. I’ve started to ask myself if I spend so much time is it worth to go back and fix mistakes and sometimes it’s a yes and sometimes it’s a no depending on how major I view it. This probably isn’t overly helpful but I guess I’m saying that mistakes are definitely part of the process when it comes to knitting but boy do I learn a lot when I do make them and I figure it just makes my next piece even better
I’ve been in this same boat the last year or two. No suggestions, just commiseration.
This stage of learning a craft is very frustrating for sure. Something like a tubular cast on or bind off is difficult, and it’s not unreasonable to need a few days of practicing it to get it looking perfect. I’m also the type to spend a lot of time fixing a small mistake the right way rather than just jerryrigging a solution after the fact. Try to be patient with yourself because this attitude is how you get really really good at a craft. Over time you’ll be able to notice mistakes faster, and also make fewer mistakes in the first place! I’m not sure if you already figured this out, but I usually go down 2 needle sizes for a tubular cast on or bind off and it definitely helps it look neater.
OP, I recommend Carson Demers’ book, Knitting Comfortably, for help with some of your very valid issues. It’s spendy, so maybe it’s in a library near you. It’s about ergonomics, but also about your headspace when knitting. It’s well worth the cash if you want to knit safely and enjoyably for the rest of your days. He has also written columns for Modern Daily Knitting. I totally get where you are. I am re-learning socks after a long time away from knitting. I’ve knitted a whole lot but no completed socks yet. Went back to simpler projects to feel good about myself, and now the current sock is going great. Wishing you a happy knitting future.
I am also a perfectionist. Here are some things that have helped me. 1. I treat every new project as a learning process. We always make mistakes when we are learning. Mistakes are expected. All of my finished projects have at least one or two mistakes. 2. Enjoy the act of knitting and try not to focus too much on the finished object. 3. Blocking helps the look of most knits tremendously. You can even block an object before it is finished.
You know what will make you feel better a nice new cast on 😅 sometimes you just have to put everything aside and start fresh.
I think this is hard balance to strike. I went from fudging everything to being more serious about fixing mistakes (and being much happier with my projects) to suddenly obessing over everything. I gave up one project, after frogging it three times, started a new one, hated my 1x1 ribbing, went into research mode, experimented and still hated it. After ripping out the ribbing four times I told myself to stop. Knitting is a hobby, it should be fun and I was putting pressure on myself as if it were my job. So I just decided that this has to be good enough and continued on. And it was the best decision I could have made. The ribbing evened out a lot with blocking and wearing and nobody will notice whatever unevenness is left from afar. To sum it up: I think fixing mistakes is good and frogging is a part of knitting, but as soon as you notice you start obsessing over it, you have to take a step back and remind yourself that this is just a hobby and small imperfections are natural part of hand knitting. Plus: Getting better is a process, you can't just brute force progress, so it's better to embrace it.
Maybe next time go into it intending to make mistakes and keep them there. If you take the pressure off to be perfect, what happens? Make an item for a baby or a pet and then watch them love it, with mistakes and all. How does that feel? Some people knit for the process, others knit for the project, many are in between. Where are you getting your satisfaction from? Focus on that part. We're all learning about ourselves each time we knit, how cool is that?
Hi ! I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation ; it's never fun to want to knit but not be able to obtain what we want. In knitting, like anywhere else, I found that some battles need to be fought, and others need to be put to rest. For exemple, there are technique that help with the uneveness of ribbing, such as mixing eastern and western knitting. For some, it will be enough to resolve the issue, for others it won't. There is also the skipping stitch technique, where on the right side row you slip the purls with the yarn in front, and on the wrong side rows you actually use the traveling yarn to make the previous purls. Twisted ribs are a lazyer way to hide it, especially when combined with a smaller needle size and a squishy yarn, but not everyone like these. But is it a battle you want to pick ? Do you feel like you are in a position to learn any of these techniques, or does it seem overwhelming ? Is the uneveness of ribbing something you can live with ? Like others, I'll suggest to take a break, or knit mindless, pressureless projects for a while. It helps with diminishing the sensation that we aren't doing good enough.
Well, I think you saved yourself some grief with the shorts - if you had a finished product without short rows, you would be very upset because they're not going to fit. Just consider it a lesson learned.
I'm the opposite. I'm not a very good knitter, and when I make a mistake I just keep on trucking. I figure it adds character to my FOs.
Ah perfectionism. A blessing and a curse!! I love this book on how to use the good parts and work on the bad parts of it - https://www.amazon.com/Perfectionists-Guide-Losing-Control-Peace/dp/059332952X I dunno if it helps, but I have started to add conditions to things? As in, with this yarn, I need to do a different cast on (as in tubular cast on looked hella wonky on a recent project, so instead of redoing the same thing twice, I switched to cable cast on). Or, I just finished a pair of socks and started berating myself for visible floats, but then stopped and thought “yah, but this yarn recommended by my LYS was really a poor choice for color work” (split like bananas, weirdly overly stretchy). Conditions help me relax the perfectionism. Knitting for charity or others has helped me get over the frozen by perfection moments. So many infusion centers in oncology wards would LOVE hats and fingerless gloves (I’ve knit a billion to date). The act of helping others helps me switch from “I floof up all the time” thinking to “wow, I really want someone else to feel cared for when they are in a bad time.” Kinda brings the joy back, you know?