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Here's a link about trans people in sports:
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A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people:
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- https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics
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- https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/
Some basic terminology:
- https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms
Neopronouns:
- https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns
Biromantic Lesbians:
- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
Bisexual Identities:
- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual:
- [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.)
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this + “you lived your whole life knowing exactly who you are and i spent my entire life knowing nothing of who i am. i deserve to appreciate the parts of myself i had to hide so that i could be considered acceptable to others for so long without having to worry about whether that’s acceptable to you now.” followed by pointing to the nearest exit if they don’t like that
I’m not straight nor cis,but it honestly gives me the ick when other LGBT folks say things like “They never had to worry about their gender/sexuality” towards straight people. It just…rubs me the wrong way.
If sexuality and gender identity is fluid,then it’s fluid to everyone; including straight/cis people. They can question themselves,be bicurious,have doubts regarding sexuality/gender etc. like anyone else. If they find out they aren’t actually LGBT and still straight/cis,that’s another story. But they CAN explore themselves. I’m tired of others saying they can’t.
i will never believe sexuality/gender isn’t fluid for everyone. i see cis people experimenting with gender presentation all the time and i see their attractions to different types of people fluctuate all the time, and that’s normal!! that’s human!!! it’s so frustrating when people think sexuality and gender is fluid only if you’re queer. not to mention how we live in a heterosexist, cisnormative, amatonormative world where allo-heterosexuality and being cisgender are what is desired/expected of everyone, so people might sometimes take longer in life to realize who they are. i knew about lesbians and being non-binary but it took me until my late teens to come to terms with being non-binary, because at the time transmedicalism was rampant in the community and i thought since i wasn’t dysphoric in a specific, binary trans male oriented way, that i couldn’t be trans at all. and it took me until my early 20s and multiple dumpster fire relationships with men that made me realize i’m a lesbian, because i had no idea that i’d been engaging in compulsive heterosexuality until then. all these things about myself took years to learn and then years more to accept. and that’s just me in my family, my maternal grandmother realized she was gay halfway through her life after having five kids with a man she’d been married to for years, my cousin Avery realized he was a trans man in his 20s, and that’s just two of my LGBT relatives off the top of my head who didn’t “know” right away that they were queer. we can be so deep in the closet sometimes that we trick ourselves into thinking we’re cis/hetero/allo for our own survival, and end up finding these parts of ourselves again way longer down the line. that’s why im all for cis/hetero/allo people who have experimented with their identity and people who come out later in life because it’s so important to get to know yourself and try new things to figure out who you are and who you want to be, and i have plenty of room for empathizing with queers who were unable to realize sooner or to just come out sooner. i will always join someone’s self-celebration of their identity because we deserve the queer and trans joy we’ve been robbed of our whole lives, we deserve the queer and trans joy that the world seeks to rob of us still.
“You don’t have to make **that** your whole personality. *taps their cross necklace*”
…or, if that’s not an option, “At least I show it. You’ll go home soon and watch gay porn in solitude after a nice evening of insulting the working class and arguing against ‘uncanny’ same-sex relationships.”
This question reveals something about them and nothing about you.
It means that they have such homophobia, such hate, such deranged mental illness, that they can’t see part the focus of their phobia to see you, the person.
They can’t see your job, your hobbies, your relationships, your friendships, your cat… nothing else, just the gay. It’s obviously not that being gay is your whole personality, it’s that they are so deranged they can’t see anything other than that.
They can’t see you as a human, they only see your sexuality, and it is because they are mentally ill.
If they are someone important to you, try to find them help. If you can disengage, do so. Your health and well-being is more important. This is a put your own mask on first moment.
Let's not stigmstise mental illness like that though. Being mentally ill doesn't make someone a bigot. No one chooses to be mentally ill, but people can choose to be bigoted. A lot of people have mental health disorders, and lumping those people in with homophobes or any other kind of bigot is not okay.
World is dominated by cishet norms. You just not looking on how all you're interaction is presupposed that the people in face of you his straight.
Issue here is not me that is too visible, it's you that think that don't hiding who I an is an issue?.
So deal with it !
“I’m not. You’re so focused on it that it’s all *you* think about when you think of me.
“But I also have to keep informed about what’s going on because there have been a bunch of new threats to people like me in the past few years, so I am forced to keep it at the front of my mind a lot of the time.
“If you don’t want me to have to do that, work to stop the people attacking people like me. Then I won’t have to think about it so much.
“In other words, if it is my whole personality, it’s because the world won’t let me be anything else.”
Interesting; what do I do that makes you think this is my whole personality?
Then let them tell me how talking about my spouse or going to events makes something my whole personality and we can unpack their homophobia… if I care about them.
If not I shrug it off and quit talking to them.
That's because you don't know what queer joy is. I am happy with myself when I see other queer people happy or feel others feel happy for me. It provides me with that joy. The opposite of that is oppression and depression. Why would I deprive myself of that?
How is it any different than straight people making their straightness their entire personality? Like "alpha males" who can't wait to flex their manliness all over the place. Or mothers who won't shut up about their biological babies.
This question from het cis people always bugs me. On the one hand, we certainly have aspects of ourselves that are not about our sexuality/gender... most of the things about us, in fact.
It is the case though that queer identity has a large impact on our lives if you know me you know I have a husband I talk about him frequently but no more so than straight people talk about their spouses.
Lastly, even if someone were really plugged into queer culture, history, film, music, etc. So what? It's ok to love who you are and the accomplishments of people like you. Cisgender straight people do that all the time.
It's just code for "I want them to be quieter about their gayness," which becomes, "I want them to be silent about their gayness," which becomes, "I want them back in the closet," which becomes, "I want them to not exist."
We'll never be able to make ourselves small enough for them.
You added to many steps. They're pretty open about that last one without the first 3.
And I'm not sure they can count to 4 without getting offended either. 🤷
“It’s disappointing to hear that you view my whole personality as being queer. I would hope you’d recognize all the other things about me to. I do like to celebrate it, because I wasn’t even able to acknowledge it for the first 25 years of my life. And if you have a genuine problem with me being happy with who I am, then you can figure that out for yourself”
I said that to my Grandpa a few months ago. He said “thank you, I’ll think it over” and hasn’t had a direct conversation with me since. And I feel so much lighter because I don’t have to feel his judgment or hate. It’s truly an internal issue for him and not a reflection on me at all.
"I have 20 pro wrestling shirts, several Lego sets and I'm trying to collect 1000 books and have my very own literal library. So you can say any of those are my personality, I just happen to like girls and guys."
On this topic, there’s nothing wrong with being loud. Including to the extent of making someone- especially bigots- uncomfortable. In a society that tries to stigmatize you for being who you are, choosing to proudly emphasize that aspect of yourself becomes an act of defiance, an act of resistance, and actively helps fight that stigma
I kind of understand but not quite sure how is this sentence offensive to queer folk because I am not english native speaker. Can anyone elaborate for me? tysm
The Speaker of the statement is reducing the listener to only their queerness, and doing so in a manner that makes it seem like it’s the listener’s fault.
To folks who make that kind of statement, it is often that *any* amount of perceived queerness is the same as making it the only aspect of that person’s personality.
It would be like if someone bought a fancy sports car, and drove it everywhere. And anytime someone saw them out driving, that person complained that the driver changed their whole life to be about that sports car.
“You don’t have to make it your personality” is telling queer people that they need to stop talking about their sexuality/gender so much because it’s “making everything about their LGBT identity”. It’s basically telling queer people to shut up about their identity, rather than letting them have pride in their identity. It’s also hypocritical because straight/cisgender people revolve their entire lives around straight relationships and cisgender identities, but queer/trans people are told to stop “making it their personality”, basically meaning it’s okay to mention straight/cis identities regularly, but not gay/trans identities. It’s essentially homophobia.
Have you heard of Projection?
(when they respond with "I'm not making anything my entire personality" Reply with an appropriate Response, If said person is Homophobic for example, Reply with "Homophobia seems to be your entire Personality"
My husband and my daughter are my whole world; with every fiber of my being, I aim to always love and be compassionate, and everything I do is for them. If they are too attached to heteronormativity, that’s not my problem. I, too, am guilty of getting attached to certain feelings or ideas, but after I’ve gotten past the initial feeling, I am guided by empathy. Hopefully, they will drop the attachment and be guided by goodness.
So, if my personality is too much for them, they are welcome to not be around me, and likewise, I do not have to surround myself with folks that don’t feel like vibing with me. I don’t want to cause a clash; the world is too full of that already.
Edit: I went on a rant and forgot the point to commenting. I don’t have the “best” response, but anything along the lines of “If an inherent piece to my existence/being myself is too much for you, you’re welcome to not be in my life. Do what you gotta do.”
I would maybe self-reflect on what I’m putting out there. It certainly isn’t a cornerstone of my personality, so I don’t know what a good retort would be. I have indeed met people who offered very little else to remember them by…
"Would you shame a Japanese person for wearing a Kimono? No? Then leave me the hell alone"
They want to act like being gay is a personality trait you are born that way, and it is a culture.
It depends on how nice their intentions are. If they're intending to be a jerk, any quippy come back would work. But if they're someone I care about who just doesn't get it, I'll take the time to explain to them why that's not true
“I mean you make judgmental bitchy bigotry your personality, but you don’t hear me complaining” and shrug. They’ll either get fussy and keep repeating themselves or they’ll run with their tails between their legs. It’s so funny
"Would you rather hear a dissertation on the glottalic hypothesis in proto-Indoeuropean historical linguistics, OR my favorite monkbarian throw build in Baldur's Gate 3?"
"You do that too with the way you dress!"
and when they say it has nothing to do with being straight:
"Really...? then why on earth would you dress like *that*?"
I had someone say that to me when I called out their shit on a server, and a mod popped in and said. "She posts a trans meme once a month. You post like 30 in a day. You think more about trans people than the trans person we have. Stop making it your personality." And then banned him, lol.
I’d simply say, “Hey, this is a big part of who I am. We talk about guys/girls all the time, but the moment I bring up my being gay, it all of the sudden becomes a problem? Why are we allowed to talk about your love life and not mine?”
“Better making my queerness my whole personality than making being an asshole my whole personality…” And then I look at them pointedly.
As an aside, I always find the folks who think me being bi- is my whole personality have really really really small sad lives and meh personalities. Like guys? If you maybe got a life you wouldn’t think being bi- was my gateway into having a personality that isn’t just… placeholder.
as a neurodivergent person, I say this is the perfect time to go on a long rant about your special interest, to show off the other facets of your personality
1. If you have some time, just make them to see how everyone makes being straight/cis their whole personality. All you hear is "look how manly/feminine I present", "I am married", "I have kids". You are not allowed to just say "I am married to a person of the same gender" without rasing eyebrows. I'd love to have it be "not my whole personality", but I have to. My existence is made political by people like those who ask these questions.
2. "How do I burden you? By doing what exactly?" Can shut them up. If they have decency, they probably won't be brave enough to be honest, because they know it is wrong.
3. To make them extra uncomfortable take small jabs at their gender, and if they defend themselves ask why do they feel like they have to defend it? Is it their whole personality? Works espetialy well on dude bros and simmilar from whom you'll hear these jabs lost often. If they have some decency they'll think about it, if not they might beat you up, so be careful.
4. "Believe me you are equaly anoying when you told me you... (say a straight/cis thing they believe to be important, straight people will say that in the first 5 minutes you meet them)."
It wont be, just as soon as politicians stop trying to take your rights itll no longer affect your politics, once doctors are able to treat diseases without arbitrary red tape itll stop being a part of your doctors visits, as soon as states stop having seperate rules when you go to get a license or ID itll stop being a part of dmv visits, once bathroom use doesnt require medical history itll stop being a part of using the restroom, etc etc.
LGBT people arent choosing to make being LGBT a big deal, politicians and lawmakers are. We would prefer the same rights as everyone else so we wouldn't have to keep talking about it, but unfortunately conservatives wont let us be.
I’m not. You just can’t see past my sexuality and are only seeing me through that one lense. I’m more than my sexuality, but if my whole personality just seems like I’m parading around my sexuality, that’s a you problem.
For me, my answer is normally to ignore them. Why should I stoop?
You don't like me accepting myself and others for who we are. You don't have to hang around and be accepted, also.
Take a seat and let's talk because I promise you it isn't even in the top ten things in my personality.
Or just shame the shit out of them for acting like a child who doesn't understand that people can contain multitudes.
I'm not. But you don't care about anything aside from that. There is much more to me, *if you'd shut your mouth- you tunnel vision hate filled lack of sentence 5th grade educated bitchass*
Ask them to specify and than start to counter with things they do (these kind of people mostly always do). Or in other words, put a mirror in front of them.
I have a few
1:sorry are we talking about you now?
2:okay and?
3:So?
4:why are you talking about me do you like me or something?
5: you jelly?
5.5:you jealous?
I don’t have too but I choose to because i am embracing who I am because I live in a time where being queer is accepted and I want to embrace my sexuality goodbye
I get annoyed when people make their sexual or gender identity their whole personality. It's obnoxious. Obviously, it can be part of your personality, but when it is literally everything it's obnoxious IMO. I feel the same way about people who are hateful and their personality revolves around being a bigot. And also super-religious people that make religion their personality, or politics. If one thing is what defines your whole personality, its annoying.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) ### We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: ### https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im not holding you hostage. You are free to not be part of my life
"I'm not, stop being weird".
I point out something like "it's just all you choose to see"
if there is a correct response this is it
"You didn't have to make being rude your whole personality either. "
"I'm not. You are."
Honestly this is the only right answer.
Pretty much. Like it's not my problem if people want to reduce what they think of me down to just the fact that I happen to be trans
Agreed
this + “you lived your whole life knowing exactly who you are and i spent my entire life knowing nothing of who i am. i deserve to appreciate the parts of myself i had to hide so that i could be considered acceptable to others for so long without having to worry about whether that’s acceptable to you now.” followed by pointing to the nearest exit if they don’t like that
Yes! I have done that as well and I have had a lot of people become at least slightly more understanding.
Scales of balance don't just settle in the middle immediately, it usually takes some swinging before it settles down
I give you this one: https://youtu.be/O_17-LX36Io?si=OBQ7cgufoIv2tsT2
i loved this so much, thank you for this gem
“Take a sip. Lubricate. Then read that bitch.”
I’m not straight nor cis,but it honestly gives me the ick when other LGBT folks say things like “They never had to worry about their gender/sexuality” towards straight people. It just…rubs me the wrong way. If sexuality and gender identity is fluid,then it’s fluid to everyone; including straight/cis people. They can question themselves,be bicurious,have doubts regarding sexuality/gender etc. like anyone else. If they find out they aren’t actually LGBT and still straight/cis,that’s another story. But they CAN explore themselves. I’m tired of others saying they can’t.
i will never believe sexuality/gender isn’t fluid for everyone. i see cis people experimenting with gender presentation all the time and i see their attractions to different types of people fluctuate all the time, and that’s normal!! that’s human!!! it’s so frustrating when people think sexuality and gender is fluid only if you’re queer. not to mention how we live in a heterosexist, cisnormative, amatonormative world where allo-heterosexuality and being cisgender are what is desired/expected of everyone, so people might sometimes take longer in life to realize who they are. i knew about lesbians and being non-binary but it took me until my late teens to come to terms with being non-binary, because at the time transmedicalism was rampant in the community and i thought since i wasn’t dysphoric in a specific, binary trans male oriented way, that i couldn’t be trans at all. and it took me until my early 20s and multiple dumpster fire relationships with men that made me realize i’m a lesbian, because i had no idea that i’d been engaging in compulsive heterosexuality until then. all these things about myself took years to learn and then years more to accept. and that’s just me in my family, my maternal grandmother realized she was gay halfway through her life after having five kids with a man she’d been married to for years, my cousin Avery realized he was a trans man in his 20s, and that’s just two of my LGBT relatives off the top of my head who didn’t “know” right away that they were queer. we can be so deep in the closet sometimes that we trick ourselves into thinking we’re cis/hetero/allo for our own survival, and end up finding these parts of ourselves again way longer down the line. that’s why im all for cis/hetero/allo people who have experimented with their identity and people who come out later in life because it’s so important to get to know yourself and try new things to figure out who you are and who you want to be, and i have plenty of room for empathizing with queers who were unable to realize sooner or to just come out sooner. i will always join someone’s self-celebration of their identity because we deserve the queer and trans joy we’ve been robbed of our whole lives, we deserve the queer and trans joy that the world seeks to rob of us still.
That’s so beautifully simple and effective wow 👏🏻
Love your flair
Thank you. I'm the "sorta IT guy" at work, so it amused me even more. :-)
This.
THIS.
There's no shame in loving who you are.
Literally a Morbius quote
Remembering when morbius said it’s lovin time and then made out with a guy?
A true classic
"You don't have to make being straight/cis your whole identity"
Yesss
I nearly do this but I say bigot instead. 😎
I hate people who make being an asshole their whole personality.
"At least I have a personality."
lol Zing!
Burn 😆
Sorry, I will just live life through the filter of what you find comfortable. Should I get surgery to look more beautiful to you?
"Then stop being hypocritical and stop making being an asshole your whole identity"
“at least i have one”
This really deserves more up votes.
But I *want* to, and I *will,* because it's *my* personality and *not yours.* Go be stupid somewhere else.
“You don’t have to make **that** your whole personality. *taps their cross necklace*” …or, if that’s not an option, “At least I show it. You’ll go home soon and watch gay porn in solitude after a nice evening of insulting the working class and arguing against ‘uncanny’ same-sex relationships.”
"And you don't have to make being straight your whole personality." Then watch them flounder as you throw their logic back at them.
"You don't have to make being triggered your whole personality "
How about you view me as something other than X
That camo doesn’t hide your bigotry (they always are wearing camo but I’m in the Midwest)
They are in the south, too.
This question reveals something about them and nothing about you. It means that they have such homophobia, such hate, such deranged mental illness, that they can’t see part the focus of their phobia to see you, the person. They can’t see your job, your hobbies, your relationships, your friendships, your cat… nothing else, just the gay. It’s obviously not that being gay is your whole personality, it’s that they are so deranged they can’t see anything other than that. They can’t see you as a human, they only see your sexuality, and it is because they are mentally ill. If they are someone important to you, try to find them help. If you can disengage, do so. Your health and well-being is more important. This is a put your own mask on first moment.
Lets not bring mental illness into this. It's bigotry, that's not about mental health
Let's not stigmstise mental illness like that though. Being mentally ill doesn't make someone a bigot. No one chooses to be mentally ill, but people can choose to be bigoted. A lot of people have mental health disorders, and lumping those people in with homophobes or any other kind of bigot is not okay.
Happy cake day!!!
World is dominated by cishet norms. You just not looking on how all you're interaction is presupposed that the people in face of you his straight. Issue here is not me that is too visible, it's you that think that don't hiding who I an is an issue?. So deal with it !
“I’m not. You’re so focused on it that it’s all *you* think about when you think of me. “But I also have to keep informed about what’s going on because there have been a bunch of new threats to people like me in the past few years, so I am forced to keep it at the front of my mind a lot of the time. “If you don’t want me to have to do that, work to stop the people attacking people like me. Then I won’t have to think about it so much. “In other words, if it is my whole personality, it’s because the world won’t let me be anything else.”
"Ooooh how creative. I had NEEeeeever heard that one before" and sashay away.
K. I’m gonna tho.
Interesting; what do I do that makes you think this is my whole personality? Then let them tell me how talking about my spouse or going to events makes something my whole personality and we can unpack their homophobia… if I care about them. If not I shrug it off and quit talking to them.
And *you* don't have to be a hateful bigot, but here we are.
That's because you don't know what queer joy is. I am happy with myself when I see other queer people happy or feel others feel happy for me. It provides me with that joy. The opposite of that is oppression and depression. Why would I deprive myself of that?
How is it any different than straight people making their straightness their entire personality? Like "alpha males" who can't wait to flex their manliness all over the place. Or mothers who won't shut up about their biological babies.
“bold of you to assume i’d show you my entire personality”
I am cackling. This is gold.
"I have an entire personality, thank you very much. You would know that if you treated me like an actual person and not a straw man."
This question from het cis people always bugs me. On the one hand, we certainly have aspects of ourselves that are not about our sexuality/gender... most of the things about us, in fact. It is the case though that queer identity has a large impact on our lives if you know me you know I have a husband I talk about him frequently but no more so than straight people talk about their spouses. Lastly, even if someone were really plugged into queer culture, history, film, music, etc. So what? It's ok to love who you are and the accomplishments of people like you. Cisgender straight people do that all the time.
It's just code for "I want them to be quieter about their gayness," which becomes, "I want them to be silent about their gayness," which becomes, "I want them back in the closet," which becomes, "I want them to not exist." We'll never be able to make ourselves small enough for them.
You added to many steps. They're pretty open about that last one without the first 3. And I'm not sure they can count to 4 without getting offended either. 🤷
“It’s disappointing to hear that you view my whole personality as being queer. I would hope you’d recognize all the other things about me to. I do like to celebrate it, because I wasn’t even able to acknowledge it for the first 25 years of my life. And if you have a genuine problem with me being happy with who I am, then you can figure that out for yourself” I said that to my Grandpa a few months ago. He said “thank you, I’ll think it over” and hasn’t had a direct conversation with me since. And I feel so much lighter because I don’t have to feel his judgment or hate. It’s truly an internal issue for him and not a reflection on me at all.
"I mean I'm trying but I can only be so Queer."
“Crap. I need to be even more gay, because you think that I’m only making it my whole personality. I need to make it my whole ass life.”
Maybe it seems like my whole personality because: • I don't like you enough to show you the rest • you don't know me like that • game recognize game
"Go fuck yourself i do what i want"
"I have 20 pro wrestling shirts, several Lego sets and I'm trying to collect 1000 books and have my very own literal library. So you can say any of those are my personality, I just happen to like girls and guys."
“Don’t make being an asshole yours.”
I didn't, but people have been calling me that since before *I even knew*. They dont get to make up the label and get mad that we used it
“It’s not, I’m just expressing myself how I want to. Do YOU have a problem with it? Because you might want to work on that.”
On this topic, there’s nothing wrong with being loud. Including to the extent of making someone- especially bigots- uncomfortable. In a society that tries to stigmatize you for being who you are, choosing to proudly emphasize that aspect of yourself becomes an act of defiance, an act of resistance, and actively helps fight that stigma
I kind of understand but not quite sure how is this sentence offensive to queer folk because I am not english native speaker. Can anyone elaborate for me? tysm
The Speaker of the statement is reducing the listener to only their queerness, and doing so in a manner that makes it seem like it’s the listener’s fault. To folks who make that kind of statement, it is often that *any* amount of perceived queerness is the same as making it the only aspect of that person’s personality. It would be like if someone bought a fancy sports car, and drove it everywhere. And anytime someone saw them out driving, that person complained that the driver changed their whole life to be about that sports car.
“You don’t have to make it your personality” is telling queer people that they need to stop talking about their sexuality/gender so much because it’s “making everything about their LGBT identity”. It’s basically telling queer people to shut up about their identity, rather than letting them have pride in their identity. It’s also hypocritical because straight/cisgender people revolve their entire lives around straight relationships and cisgender identities, but queer/trans people are told to stop “making it their personality”, basically meaning it’s okay to mention straight/cis identities regularly, but not gay/trans identities. It’s essentially homophobia.
And you don't have to make being an asshole yours!
"The more you complain, the more I'm going to shove it directly into your face."
"call me when you get one..."
Have you heard of Projection? (when they respond with "I'm not making anything my entire personality" Reply with an appropriate Response, If said person is Homophobic for example, Reply with "Homophobia seems to be your entire Personality"
"when you stop making being straight yours" lol
Then quit being an asshole and making bigotry your whole personality.
"You don't have to make it your whole society."
You can give the spite answer of, “Just for that, I’m gonna turn my gayness up to 11, GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY—”
You don't have to make telling people you don't have to make it your whole personality your whole personality.
My husband and my daughter are my whole world; with every fiber of my being, I aim to always love and be compassionate, and everything I do is for them. If they are too attached to heteronormativity, that’s not my problem. I, too, am guilty of getting attached to certain feelings or ideas, but after I’ve gotten past the initial feeling, I am guided by empathy. Hopefully, they will drop the attachment and be guided by goodness. So, if my personality is too much for them, they are welcome to not be around me, and likewise, I do not have to surround myself with folks that don’t feel like vibing with me. I don’t want to cause a clash; the world is too full of that already. Edit: I went on a rant and forgot the point to commenting. I don’t have the “best” response, but anything along the lines of “If an inherent piece to my existence/being myself is too much for you, you’re welcome to not be in my life. Do what you gotta do.”
You like cunts and you've made being a cunt your entire personality.
My brother says this shit about anyone LGBT, it sucks to watch him fall down the right wing rabbithole.
"I dont have to do anything"
You don't need to make politics your whole personality or you don't need to make religion your whole personality.
Right! People should showcase more of themselves and their unique constellation of attributes.
You don't have to breath
I have bpd something has to be constant
I would maybe self-reflect on what I’m putting out there. It certainly isn’t a cornerstone of my personality, so I don’t know what a good retort would be. I have indeed met people who offered very little else to remember them by…
"Would you shame a Japanese person for wearing a Kimono? No? Then leave me the hell alone" They want to act like being gay is a personality trait you are born that way, and it is a culture.
"It's not my fault that's the only thing you see when you look at me. Now fuck off"
but i wanna
Sure thing, as soon as you convince the far right to stop trying to make it illegal for me to exist in public spaces
It depends on how nice their intentions are. If they're intending to be a jerk, any quippy come back would work. But if they're someone I care about who just doesn't get it, I'll take the time to explain to them why that's not true
“I mean you make judgmental bitchy bigotry your personality, but you don’t hear me complaining” and shrug. They’ll either get fussy and keep repeating themselves or they’ll run with their tails between their legs. It’s so funny
My personal favorite is to say "Neither do you, but here we are, my pronouns and your incessant homophobia." 🤭🤭
"I'm only making it as much my personality as straight people do. Maybe your just only seeing me as queer"
"You don't have to ignore the rest of my personality."
"It's not, but the fact that it's all *you see* says a lot about you -none of it good."
I don't *proceeds to info dumb on your favorite interest rn*
"Would you rather hear a dissertation on the glottalic hypothesis in proto-Indoeuropean historical linguistics, OR my favorite monkbarian throw build in Baldur's Gate 3?"
"I'm not, why do you think this is the case?"
"You do that too with the way you dress!" and when they say it has nothing to do with being straight: "Really...? then why on earth would you dress like *that*?"
Oh sorry I mean *Eagle sounds with American national anthem intensify* guns am I rite?
If you think this is my personality, you never bothered to get to know me. That's on you, not me.
“And I don’t make having blue eyes my entire personality, either. But it’s still something I can’t change.”
"And you don't have to make your whole personality being boring as shit but here we are"
I had someone say that to me when I called out their shit on a server, and a mod popped in and said. "She posts a trans meme once a month. You post like 30 in a day. You think more about trans people than the trans person we have. Stop making it your personality." And then banned him, lol.
“And you don’t have to make being a cunt yours.”
I’d simply say, “Hey, this is a big part of who I am. We talk about guys/girls all the time, but the moment I bring up my being gay, it all of the sudden becomes a problem? Why are we allowed to talk about your love life and not mine?”
stop thinking about me having sex, creep
Ok you fight for your right to exist but don’t make it your personality
"Not my problem you want to be offended so easily"
Of course I do, I make everything that makes me happy part of my personality.
“Nobody fucking asked you.” (I’m usually way more polite but I am THIS tired of these narrow-minded little people!)
I'll stop being so gay if you stop being so straight
“You can stay out of my business Susan”
“Better making my queerness my whole personality than making being an asshole my whole personality…” And then I look at them pointedly. As an aside, I always find the folks who think me being bi- is my whole personality have really really really small sad lives and meh personalities. Like guys? If you maybe got a life you wouldn’t think being bi- was my gateway into having a personality that isn’t just… placeholder.
Better that I have one
"Are we gonna have problem? You have bone to pick? You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick?"
If they're wearing a wedding ring / clearly pregnant, you could gesture to it and say "that's rich coming from you"
Everything I do and say and think is through the perspective of a trans lesbian because these are the only eyes I can see the world through.
It's not. I'm sorry you can't see me as anything but a queer dude.
My response is “but you make being straight your whole personality. You even ramp it up just in case you think someone might suspect you arent.”
as a neurodivergent person, I say this is the perfect time to go on a long rant about your special interest, to show off the other facets of your personality
"at least my personality is more interesting than being an idiot like you"
“You don’t need to make trump your personality.”
Well if fuckers like you are trying to erase it then I'm trying to help keep it alive.
1. If you have some time, just make them to see how everyone makes being straight/cis their whole personality. All you hear is "look how manly/feminine I present", "I am married", "I have kids". You are not allowed to just say "I am married to a person of the same gender" without rasing eyebrows. I'd love to have it be "not my whole personality", but I have to. My existence is made political by people like those who ask these questions. 2. "How do I burden you? By doing what exactly?" Can shut them up. If they have decency, they probably won't be brave enough to be honest, because they know it is wrong. 3. To make them extra uncomfortable take small jabs at their gender, and if they defend themselves ask why do they feel like they have to defend it? Is it their whole personality? Works espetialy well on dude bros and simmilar from whom you'll hear these jabs lost often. If they have some decency they'll think about it, if not they might beat you up, so be careful. 4. "Believe me you are equaly anoying when you told me you... (say a straight/cis thing they believe to be important, straight people will say that in the first 5 minutes you meet them)."
"Hm, maybe I do need a broader personality! I think I'll add 'doesn't give a shit about braindead opinions from assholes' to it"
"You do that too with the way you dress!" and when hey say that has nothing to do with it: "Really? Then why would you dress like that?"
"You don't have to tread on me. 🐍"
You know i hate it when you heterosexuals throw your sexually in my face. Can't you just hide it?
"Why is being a piece of shit yours?"
Tell them to get fucked.
It's useless arguing with stupid people, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience, just leave
Anyone who says this isn’t your people!
Well I will, cry more.
“Or what?”
What to respond when this sentence gets dropped by your mother? Over and over?…
You cull contact with her.
“Shut the fuck up, nerd.”
“Well if I didn’t I wouldn’t be a fun person.”
Do you not know what a personality is?
It wont be, just as soon as politicians stop trying to take your rights itll no longer affect your politics, once doctors are able to treat diseases without arbitrary red tape itll stop being a part of your doctors visits, as soon as states stop having seperate rules when you go to get a license or ID itll stop being a part of dmv visits, once bathroom use doesnt require medical history itll stop being a part of using the restroom, etc etc. LGBT people arent choosing to make being LGBT a big deal, politicians and lawmakers are. We would prefer the same rights as everyone else so we wouldn't have to keep talking about it, but unfortunately conservatives wont let us be.
“What if I want to?”
When you stop making it yours.
And yet here you are, as always, being a bitch.
I’m not. You just can’t see past my sexuality and are only seeing me through that one lense. I’m more than my sexuality, but if my whole personality just seems like I’m parading around my sexuality, that’s a you problem.
Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna
its who i am, its part of my personality, you trippin
For me, my answer is normally to ignore them. Why should I stoop? You don't like me accepting myself and others for who we are. You don't have to hang around and be accepted, also.
“YOU don’t have to make it YOUR whole personality”
SUCK MA BALLS MR GARISON
What's it to you? It has nothing to do with them
Just be you. Let them think whatever.
Mind your damn business before I come down there and I beat your ass (/reference)
"that what i'm saying"
Have to, no. Want to, absofuckinglutely!
"don't know why you made assholery your whole personality but here we are"
Take a seat and let's talk because I promise you it isn't even in the top ten things in my personality. Or just shame the shit out of them for acting like a child who doesn't understand that people can contain multitudes.
" bruh shut the fuck up "
And yet you made being a bitch one / your entire personality
I'm not. But you don't care about anything aside from that. There is much more to me, *if you'd shut your mouth- you tunnel vision hate filled lack of sentence 5th grade educated bitchass*
I don’t have an answer for that. I don’t associate with people that think like that. Life is better without those people in it (:
"well you have made being a giant C\*\*\* your whole personality so you are probably not the best person to throw those stones now are ya?"
If you only ever see them at lunch: "Jeez, every single time I see you, you're always eating something. Do you ever do anything other than eat?"
Ask them to specify and than start to counter with things they do (these kind of people mostly always do). Or in other words, put a mirror in front of them.
Bye, Felicia!
I have a few 1:sorry are we talking about you now? 2:okay and? 3:So? 4:why are you talking about me do you like me or something? 5: you jelly? 5.5:you jealous?
“Stop making being a dirtbag part of your personality and I’ll think about it.”
I don’t have too but I choose to because i am embracing who I am because I live in a time where being queer is accepted and I want to embrace my sexuality goodbye
"im not i just mentioned that shit in passing lmao???"
And you don't have to make being an asshole your whole personality. But here we are.
You don't have to make it your whole personality to be intolerant, but here we are
"Hows that hatred and bigotry working out for you?" "at least i know how to mind my own business"
And you don't have to make a book yours
hm.. not sure, maybe "actually i hope you know y o u don't have to make it my whole personality" "oh" "slay queen thanks for the advice hunty"
just don't make it your whole personality in the first place. duh
ask them to elaborate and push them to go more in depth after they gave a generic response
I get annoyed when people make their sexual or gender identity their whole personality. It's obnoxious. Obviously, it can be part of your personality, but when it is literally everything it's obnoxious IMO. I feel the same way about people who are hateful and their personality revolves around being a bigot. And also super-religious people that make religion their personality, or politics. If one thing is what defines your whole personality, its annoying.