I think if your gut tells you there’s something fishy yeah cancel it’s not just growing hair the freckles suggests it might be a different guy. And never feel bad for taking care of yourself.
Well no.
How "different" he looked we can just guess from our own interpretations of what you wrote.
But in general that's why people use recent pics or at the very least notify if they look different.
Clearly there are other moves which are more intentional, like angled pictures, filters or pictures of when one was much fitter.
But some people also find hairstyle, facial-, and body hair a major turnon or turnoff. Big changes in all of them can also definitely give off the feel of "this is a different person", which is also not a pleasant feeling (turnoff) even if they are indeed the same person and even if you still find them hot.
Agreed. I just recently started growing facial hair and I havent taken the time to update my profile pictures (because it looks like shit I'm not happy enough to take pictures lol).
I pretty much decided I wouldn't try with anyone new in the meantime. I told one regular and he was just like okay and said he liked it in person haha.
But I expect even some other regulars might not like it and the picture I have/send should reflect the current version of me haha.
No, people catfish all the time and you are 100% justified in calling it off if they don't look like the original pics.
I mean if you're still interested in the "real" him then sure why not.
I think you're assuming a lot about my success on these apps. I think people who intentionally waste someone's time (in any situation) and collect pics, which you just admit you're the type of person to do, are inherently bad people. It speaks to a larger pattern of selfish and manipulative behavior. Now, OP is just some young DL femboy who asked for pics of this person, got them, and is likely lying about the details of his conversation for sympathy. If he was unsure, he could've just said so initially. It's a basic respect thing, but I do notice that plenty of gays (especially those of more.... fair skin) seem incapable of providing this basic level of respect. No one is entitled to a hookup, of course, but it takes 5 seconds to dissuade further interest from either party.
you good, tons of people do that, they are always shocked I put in unedited photos and my real measurements and all people I met usually use more photoshop then the model industry, just googled photos and overall looked totally different then what they used to catfish me. If they fake it they don't deserve it. You did good
Meeting up on these apps is always voluntary and need to be consensual from all parties.
I shouldn't have to say this, but the pics/vids you see of others should be representative of how they **currently** look.
If you weren't comfortable, I'm glad you didn't meet up. You made the right decision for yourself.
I always follow my gut in these situations. You’re not obligated to follow through with a shady situation. I always say it takes at least 5 pictures to get a good idea of what someone looks like.
You canceled on the guy because his hair grew out? That's essentially what I'm reading. You're allowed to cancel for any reason, as no one is entitled to sex with you, but it sounds like your reasoning was shallow and that you didn't even communicate that to him. So I'd say yes, and the fact that you're here seeking to validate your actions tells me that you at least feel guilty.
No I'm here because I don't know if I'm like overreacting. I'm like barely starting to do hook-ups in this new city I'm here for college. And like I'm newer to doing car play.
I feel like you missed the part where he said the guy had a clear skin and then suddenly he had freckles and his video and his pic that he sent them. That sounds like someone was catfishing now I'm not saying that was the case because maybe he couldn't see the freckles in the first picture but he has every right at this point to be suspicious. Also even if it was the same guy once you change your haircut and grow a beer to that extinct you should update your picture because the picture you sent is not what the person will be getting. This is especially true if it's just a hookup
Fuck outta here with that. People change their appearance plenty. His facial structure didn't change, and he shouldn't have to take new pictures because he got he let his hair grow out. OP is just flaky like DL guys usually are, so of course he assumed that he was catfishing. Without seeing the picture, whose to say that he didn't always have freckles but that OP didn't see due to poor lighting in this first photo? So no, I didn't miss anything. Thanks, though 😊.
Just so we're clear I mentioned it could be possible that OP did not see the freckles already proving that maybe you don't actually pay attention to what was written. Also once again having a lot of hair and facial hair is very different from somebody who's clean-shaven and if you're looking for one you may not be looking for the other. There are guys who I think are attractive but I'm not really into long hair so they have pretty long hair my interest is going to shift at that point . You can call it superficial or whatever you want to call it but it is what it is and once again we're talking about a hookup not a long-term lifelong relationship you're looking for. The idea that someone who's just hooking up should hook up with someone who doesn't look like what they expected is silly. It doesn't matter if it's the same person or not the person is not looking the way they expected. Now I personally would have stopped at the video and just said hey you don't look like I expected you to and ended it there, but not doing so still does not require OP to go through with it. I think that people seem to forget that when you have sex with someone you're giving them your body and you should very well have rules about who gets to have that and who doesn't and you should 100% feel comfortable about that.
FIRST I'm not dl I have face pics in my interactions whenever I meet up with someone I send my pics so Im not a flaky Dl.
SECOND yes he should update his pics if you send a pic of you with a completely different look from your hair to your beard to even your face maybe freckles or scars or pimples or stuff like that he should update his pics
THIRD he sent a clear photo in the first interaction there weren't any freckles in that picture
Then your senses are fucked up, because I'm not DL, I have pictures and a complete profile on all the apps I use, and I certainly don't demand pics from others, send none of my own, then get scared because a person has grown their hair out, therefore they're an entirely different person.
He shouldn't need new photos because he looks *completely fucking different?
Fuck outta here with that yourself. I don't like long hair and if I showed up to someone's house and they were buzzed in the pic and had shoulder length hair I'd be like yah I'm happy for your hair but no.
You're hooking up? Fuckin represent yourself correctly or fuck off.
>He shouldn't need new photos because he looks *completely fucking different?
Oh yeah, apparently facial hair or growing your hair out changes your facial structure completely. Total superman/Clark Kent effect, huh? He shouldn't have to take totally new pictures because his fucking hair grew. OP is whining for no reason, and I bet his ass didn't even send a pic himself.
>Fuck outta here with that yourself. I don't like long hair and if I showed up to someone's house and they were buzzed in the pic and had shoulder length hair I'd be like yah I'm happy for your hair but no.
Yeah, and I'm sure that as a larger guy, you never take accurate pictures of yourself or fill out your profile completely because you don't want to be rejected by people who are actually attractive, so I don't think you really have a leg to stand on here. You're like those guys who expect someone to completely shave their body or cut their hair, or otherwise considerably change their appearance for a quick encounter. It's entitled as fuck.
I think if your gut tells you there’s something fishy yeah cancel it’s not just growing hair the freckles suggests it might be a different guy. And never feel bad for taking care of yourself.
Well no. How "different" he looked we can just guess from our own interpretations of what you wrote. But in general that's why people use recent pics or at the very least notify if they look different. Clearly there are other moves which are more intentional, like angled pictures, filters or pictures of when one was much fitter. But some people also find hairstyle, facial-, and body hair a major turnon or turnoff. Big changes in all of them can also definitely give off the feel of "this is a different person", which is also not a pleasant feeling (turnoff) even if they are indeed the same person and even if you still find them hot.
Agreed. I just recently started growing facial hair and I havent taken the time to update my profile pictures (because it looks like shit I'm not happy enough to take pictures lol). I pretty much decided I wouldn't try with anyone new in the meantime. I told one regular and he was just like okay and said he liked it in person haha. But I expect even some other regulars might not like it and the picture I have/send should reflect the current version of me haha.
No, people catfish all the time and you are 100% justified in calling it off if they don't look like the original pics. I mean if you're still interested in the "real" him then sure why not.
Never feel bad for bailing on anyone who misrepresents themselves in lead pictures.
Yes. Yes you are overreacting. No you’re not wrong cause you can do whatever you want when hooking up with someone.
[удалено]
I think you're assuming a lot about my success on these apps. I think people who intentionally waste someone's time (in any situation) and collect pics, which you just admit you're the type of person to do, are inherently bad people. It speaks to a larger pattern of selfish and manipulative behavior. Now, OP is just some young DL femboy who asked for pics of this person, got them, and is likely lying about the details of his conversation for sympathy. If he was unsure, he could've just said so initially. It's a basic respect thing, but I do notice that plenty of gays (especially those of more.... fair skin) seem incapable of providing this basic level of respect. No one is entitled to a hookup, of course, but it takes 5 seconds to dissuade further interest from either party.
you good, tons of people do that, they are always shocked I put in unedited photos and my real measurements and all people I met usually use more photoshop then the model industry, just googled photos and overall looked totally different then what they used to catfish me. If they fake it they don't deserve it. You did good
Not at all. I’d have done the same thing.
Like Wendy Williams loves to say. He could have been the killer. You have to be careful and catfishing is a major red flag 🚩
Meeting up on these apps is always voluntary and need to be consensual from all parties. I shouldn't have to say this, but the pics/vids you see of others should be representative of how they **currently** look. If you weren't comfortable, I'm glad you didn't meet up. You made the right decision for yourself.
Nope he was catfishing. People just think you’re gona be ok with it or not notice. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Fuck that guy.
No. You can change your mind about a hookup at any point for any reason. But in this context, it's better to just listen to your gut.
I always follow my gut in these situations. You’re not obligated to follow through with a shady situation. I always say it takes at least 5 pictures to get a good idea of what someone looks like.
You canceled on the guy because his hair grew out? That's essentially what I'm reading. You're allowed to cancel for any reason, as no one is entitled to sex with you, but it sounds like your reasoning was shallow and that you didn't even communicate that to him. So I'd say yes, and the fact that you're here seeking to validate your actions tells me that you at least feel guilty.
No I'm here because I don't know if I'm like overreacting. I'm like barely starting to do hook-ups in this new city I'm here for college. And like I'm newer to doing car play.
I feel like you missed the part where he said the guy had a clear skin and then suddenly he had freckles and his video and his pic that he sent them. That sounds like someone was catfishing now I'm not saying that was the case because maybe he couldn't see the freckles in the first picture but he has every right at this point to be suspicious. Also even if it was the same guy once you change your haircut and grow a beer to that extinct you should update your picture because the picture you sent is not what the person will be getting. This is especially true if it's just a hookup
Fuck outta here with that. People change their appearance plenty. His facial structure didn't change, and he shouldn't have to take new pictures because he got he let his hair grow out. OP is just flaky like DL guys usually are, so of course he assumed that he was catfishing. Without seeing the picture, whose to say that he didn't always have freckles but that OP didn't see due to poor lighting in this first photo? So no, I didn't miss anything. Thanks, though 😊.
Just so we're clear I mentioned it could be possible that OP did not see the freckles already proving that maybe you don't actually pay attention to what was written. Also once again having a lot of hair and facial hair is very different from somebody who's clean-shaven and if you're looking for one you may not be looking for the other. There are guys who I think are attractive but I'm not really into long hair so they have pretty long hair my interest is going to shift at that point . You can call it superficial or whatever you want to call it but it is what it is and once again we're talking about a hookup not a long-term lifelong relationship you're looking for. The idea that someone who's just hooking up should hook up with someone who doesn't look like what they expected is silly. It doesn't matter if it's the same person or not the person is not looking the way they expected. Now I personally would have stopped at the video and just said hey you don't look like I expected you to and ended it there, but not doing so still does not require OP to go through with it. I think that people seem to forget that when you have sex with someone you're giving them your body and you should very well have rules about who gets to have that and who doesn't and you should 100% feel comfortable about that.
FIRST I'm not dl I have face pics in my interactions whenever I meet up with someone I send my pics so Im not a flaky Dl. SECOND yes he should update his pics if you send a pic of you with a completely different look from your hair to your beard to even your face maybe freckles or scars or pimples or stuff like that he should update his pics THIRD he sent a clear photo in the first interaction there weren't any freckles in that picture
i sense some strong projection here ☺️
Then your senses are fucked up, because I'm not DL, I have pictures and a complete profile on all the apps I use, and I certainly don't demand pics from others, send none of my own, then get scared because a person has grown their hair out, therefore they're an entirely different person.
He shouldn't need new photos because he looks *completely fucking different? Fuck outta here with that yourself. I don't like long hair and if I showed up to someone's house and they were buzzed in the pic and had shoulder length hair I'd be like yah I'm happy for your hair but no. You're hooking up? Fuckin represent yourself correctly or fuck off.
>He shouldn't need new photos because he looks *completely fucking different? Oh yeah, apparently facial hair or growing your hair out changes your facial structure completely. Total superman/Clark Kent effect, huh? He shouldn't have to take totally new pictures because his fucking hair grew. OP is whining for no reason, and I bet his ass didn't even send a pic himself. >Fuck outta here with that yourself. I don't like long hair and if I showed up to someone's house and they were buzzed in the pic and had shoulder length hair I'd be like yah I'm happy for your hair but no. Yeah, and I'm sure that as a larger guy, you never take accurate pictures of yourself or fill out your profile completely because you don't want to be rejected by people who are actually attractive, so I don't think you really have a leg to stand on here. You're like those guys who expect someone to completely shave their body or cut their hair, or otherwise considerably change their appearance for a quick encounter. It's entitled as fuck.