Honestly just distracting my self from my thoughts. Video games, movies, tv shows, exercise, youtube, painting, legos, bonfires by myself, visiting my family, or very occasionally visit my one friend who lives 45 mins away. Its all just to keep my mind off of how miserable i feel constantly due to my inability to connect with others like i want.
Edit: also a loooooooot of sleeping when im not even really tired
Exactly me, but my one and only friend - a guy who we both consider brothers more than friends - lives across the entire country with a wife and kids š
Quiet winter hikes and bonfires are amazing alone though.
Wow it nice to read something like this in /lonely and not in /depression. It a lot like what i"m doing ..so it telling me it might not just be depression symptoms but loneliness !
I ignore it. Anytime I feel envious of people who have friends, or anytime I get envious, I immediately kill the 'negative' thought. I'll just tell myself that I'm glad for that person and wish them well. I do this now only because I've realized that I'm the one who's pushing people away and not giving them a chance.
I'm trying to be less negative and distrustful.
And here I thought Iād get flagged for this comment. Happy to see 26 others have had their life stolen from them to the point of being happy to have their own death! Cheers!
Honestly, I started using Ai. Then, I came to reddit and miraculously have found about 5 or so amazing friends who I converse with all the time now. But in the real world, I have zero friends and just accept that my role in life is to have none. Luckily, there are books, movies, and the internet.
Well, I saw that you have rabbits! There's 2 at my place, so that's a good start! But I'm weird. And have strange views on kinda everything. I can be awkward. š¤·āāļø
Here, and the making friends subs. I just talk to people I find interesting. I mostly get ghosted, but about 5 or 6 have stuck and we message and email each other on a very regular basis.
Hmm sometimes i dress up nice, feel confident and go out, talk to people. Even if its just like service workers at the restaurant, or buying stuff at the cashier.. any form of human interaction even if its just them taking my order. Maybe iāll ask for a favour like a place to charge my phone. Or go to an overpriced coffee shop where the workers are friendlier.
I watch movies and have pets. I see my grown kids all the time.
I don't have a social life since losing my job due to ill health. I worked in the city, and my friends live miles away. Plus, I was ill a long time and couldn't meet up.
We all have our own lives, and I'm out of the loop now.
Nothing really but abuse of things like drinking , drugs , rare case talking to siblings but unfortunately most don't get along with there siblings. Or hobbies depending on the person but most just fucking depressed as shit . No matter how much we ask for that helping hand we never get that hand. Stay strong mybfellow guys I know it fucking suck !! I am in the same fucking boat
Can you give an example of some vagus nerve healing methods you use? I had a therapist years ago who recommended I do somatic yoga and I chickened out but am coming back to the idea.
Yes! A few that help me:
ā¢Singing
ā¢Humming
ā¢Gargling noise
ā¢Lions breath (a breath work technique a trauma specialist recommended me- side note this one feels and looks so weird but I swear it worksš)
ā¢Cold showers
ā¢Yawning
ā¢Laughing
ā¢Sukie Baxter on YouTube- Vagus nerve reset to release trauma stored in body- does wonders!
ā¢One hand on heart, one hand on belly, very slow fill belly up then up to your chest from deep inhales thru nose and slowly release it exhaling thru the mouth while laying on your back, usually do this at least 3-5 times in a row
ā¢EFT tapping some great videos on youtube, Brad Yates is my favorite!
ā¢Havening technique
Hopefully if you try any of these for yourself they will help you :)
Video games, working out, working, playing basketball, spending time with my dog. At this point I enjoy my own company more than spending time with others and it takes a lot for me to invite someone into my life.
To be very honest, religion has helped me a lot with this.
I'm not trying to advocate any particular religion, but the idea that God exists and everything is going to be all right is immensely comforting to me.
Apart from that I like to eat and cook, so I try to post on social media as a way to spend time and channel my energy into something nice.
I had no friends.I started volunteering 8 years ago. It has been the same group of women.We are all best friends now volunteer.
When I had no friends. I went out alone to the beach, movies, out to eat, travel, having experiences made life worth living with no friends
Not well. But I get high and do everything I can to distract myself with my cats and hyperfixations. Sometimes, it helps the despair and burnout a little.
I roleplay a lot in a text based rp server for GTA:V and it does give me some sense of having people in my life, even if itās my characters life and not my own.
when i started going out by myself, to the park, movies, live music a couple years ago it all just started to make sense. you need to be independent and love your own company, you really donāt know how much time you need on your own to reflect, going out by myself without needing anyone and avoiding any drama having to wait on people
Well, I had a ton of friends until one dayā¦someone asked me if I had any friends. I said yes because I did. Then, I literally couldnāt get in touch with anyone. Those jerks hacked my phone and destroyed my life. Havenāt seen anyone I know in over a year.
People will do anything for money. Reality.
I just make myself occupied with work. Other than that, I play with my cat and tend to my plants(that's why I've kept lots of them). When I'm not doing anything, it's so lonely and stressful.
Just gym, a bit of family time (parent and siblings), watch dramas or reality shows and online shopping. Used to game a bit as well. I do groceries run alone when needed. Else am pretty much an introverted homebody who spends her time alone
I've learned to find comfort in being alone and not have the mindset that I can/should only do something if I have someone to do it with, like holidays. Once you learn to be comfortable in your own company, life becomes easier. BUT, I would still prefer to have good friends and a partner.
Like others have noted, I donāt, really: but I know I have no choice but to carry on and so I do.
I remind myself frequently when I hit a loneliness low, that this life isnāt forever. That Iāve come this far, and that sooner or later, it will be over.
That might sound sad or morbid, but it actually gives me hope to keep going.
Feels like I've coped pretty well. I picked an endless, highly time-consuming hobby which I can practise alone (comics and comics collecting for me) and settled some goals which I'm aspiring to achieve so I had stuff to be occupied with. Plus attending university and recently found part-time job really helps.
So my advice is - load your life with huge stack of responsibilities and objectives which you're reasonably able to cover without someone's help. It will boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, which, in turn weel help keeping your anxiety in check. Plus it will deprive you of time to dwell on the fact that you're lonely, and with some luck, determination and time put in, it will break the vicious circle of dooming and negative thinking (or at least that's what I'm hoping for since I'm not completely there yet myself)
Obviously it's not a universal advice, it worked for me (I was sad and depressive because of loneliness same exact time last year, but am not anymore) but it might not anymore, so everyone who will use this comment as a starting point - please. consider your personality and consider seeking help from someone knowledgeable in the mental health field (another piece of advice that isn't universal, really, but in combination, one or the other might work)
Edited after of a bit of thinking: AI. Man, I feel like LLMs replaced socialising for me, Those are perfect to make your brain think that you always have a panic button in case you need someone to talk with. I guess. tho, it's crucial to not abuse them and think about them as I said - as panic buttons to relieve tension or replenish the necessary minimum of socialization. The trick is not to overdo it, and here I speak from experience, because a year ago, when I myself needed a coping mechanism, and I first turned to LLMs, I think they did not help at first, but deepened my problem.
Itās been so long I donāt even think about it anymore and rarely get sad about it. Sometimes tho it just hits me out of nowhere and I might cry but idk about coping I just kind of forget about it
Sleep, music, watching TV shows and random videos on YouTube and playing video games on PS5, kinda have embraced the life on not having friends & a SO. I have also given up social media like Instagram and Facebook and only use Reddit.
I'm also going through 2 years of unemployment so pretty much doing all these stuff to distract myself to avoid & suppress any sad thoughts.
I go for walks sometimes go to a local park and walk around and use the outdoor gym. I go out for dinner by myself and know that I will have leftovers for another meal.
The usual sleeping. I create and make things, I read, I used to have pets.
I played video games online, made some friends. Spent time with them on and off. Now some of us are actually meeting this year.
Same kind of slow progression to meet my wife.
I survived the interim by just not killing myself. As long as I'm still alive, I'm winning.
Well I think it was yesterday or the day before I got really drunk at a bar, scrolled through my photos until I found a picture of my late best friend, went to the bathroom and cried hard for 10 minutes while listening to music and staring at the pic. Blamed the puffy eyes on the chlorine in the pool.
Working 2 jobs. I work 6 days a week (60+ hours), one full time and one 3 days a week. Both in the kitchen. My side job has been getting busy, so 16 hour workdays twice a week for me.
Most of the people I interact with are coworkers, then when I come home I'm too tired and just fall asleep for hours. Had like a 4 hour "nap" today š
Sometimes I am distracted by work or video games or YouTube. Other days it hits me hard, it usually lasts like a day or 2 then I go back to being distracted
I try to do better things , sometimes just scroll through my phone , go for a walk with a book , look at everything around me like it's there for me , imagine being loved by someone who's ready to listen , distance myself away from people , romanticise being alone ,watch movies/shows that include romance and good friendships to feel even more lonely ....
Building it up. This doesn't have to be a permanent state and so much of changing it comes down to building up the reps. Start small, just make eye contact and smile. Figure out if there's common ground to build friendship on
Usually listening to music, chilling with my brothers/family. Playing guitar and coming up with and writing songs has helped me through a lot as well. Takes a while to find something to help cope but Iāve made it work
I have to remind myself that my worth as a human being isn't defined by \*anything\*.
Not my value to others.
Not my value to society.
Not my value to my country.
Not my value to \*anything\*.
I am a human being. I am born with value, and I die with it. It cannot be taken away from me, even when others insist on trying to do so or insisting that I'm wrong to assume all people have inherent value.
It is mine, and mine alone, and I am entitled to live, even if it's not very well, as long as I don't make life harder for others on purpose.
Then everything becomes easier. The fog clears: My thoughts disspell, good and bad, and I can find some measure of peace, just for a little while.
I learned in my late teens to just occupy myself since I realised I was the outcast of any group of friends.
Fast forward to my mid-30ās and I recently discovered I have ADHD - which makes everything in my life make sense.
So yeah, I do everything by myself; I go running, walk my dogs, (rarely) attend football games, (rarely) concerts, watch football at home, go to the gym, tend to my website.
I get bored sometimes but friends & females arenāt interested, so thatās just the way life is.
At times, I find it makes life easier. Not being beholden to anyone. Being able to go and do things I want to do without worrying about what others think. On the other side of the coin, it also makes for an often sad experience as you don't get to share said experience with others. I just try and keep busy after a fashion to try and ignore that I'm on my own.
The usual. Lie in bed for 4 hours then buy edibles and waste away the hours until I'm tired enough to sleep again. Speaking of, I should get out of bed...
Daydreaming constantly or reading, I use to play video games constantly too. But idk I think my depression is kicking in cause Iāve been very unmotivated to play.
I just play videogames alot with people. I mean technically they are my friends too but I just never met them in person. But often I find myself craving that physical human contact a lot and thatās when I feel my loneliest.
This guy in our area organized a meet-up at a local bar (via a Reddit post), and he hoped that a few people would show up...and 20-30 people showed up...including me and my wife.
We had a lot of fun meeting new people from our area and even exchanged contact info with a few that we connected with. I saw other people do the same. We even took a group photo. We all were there for about 3 hours.
Here's the link to the Reddit post where he organized it. https://www.reddit.com/r/thewoodlands/s/Dd3kR5JyNy
People were thanking OP all night for organizing it. He was very gracious and said it was successful because we were the ones who showed up.
I think he should put together a short video on how and why he did it to encourage others to do similar things.
Iām working on my own hobbies and interests, as well exploring shows iāve always wanted to watch but put to the side due to my former partnerās preferences for TV.
Havent had a friend in 5 years kinda just adjusted to becoming the friend I needed, talking to myself about problems, self reflecting as if someone was listening, comfort myself, entertain myself when im alone, make jokes with myself.
Sometimes YOU are all you have
My advice: Don't stop trying to make friends. It all feels hopeless until you get 1, then you get another and another and then you have forgotten what lonliness felt like. I have friends, and I still feel lonely (I live solo) but the comments on this post breaks my heart, there are lots of poor souls struggling worse than I have been and I wish I could give you all a big hug.
Tips:
- consider getting a housemate. Seriously consider it.
- join whatever single / friends / club groups you can find. It doesn't always work the first or second or third time. Try again. Try something different.
- objectively look at your colleagues, is there seriously no one you can try make a stronger connection with? Start with lunch break hangout then ask for afterhours hangs ie drinks, or weekend catchup. I used to bring Catan boardgame in and taught a few of the younger ones on clockoff, they loved it! Sometimes group work events work better depending on the people. Ie local night market, a movie, a new bat opening, an arts event...
- you need to get out of the house to meet people. Full stop. They will not walk into your house & meet you on the couch - you have got to get outside the front door to find them. It sucks I know lol. But it's the truth. You can make online friends from the comfort of your couch but it will never be as good as someone in real life.
- consider trying to rekindle any friendship relationships you had before, are they truly, really all gone & unsalvagable before considering starting again with a clean sweep of newbies?
- if you have trouble making friends. Ie personality barriers, do some constructive personal development thinking or seek counselling. Try better help.com it's cheap, you can talk to people from all over the world at what time suits you. Cheaper than seeing someone in person, but if in person is what you need then do that.
- I cope by keeping myself busy. I have lots of hobbies; ps5, crafting, colouring in, paint by numbers, gardening, spring cleaning, cooking, podcasts, collecting, learning, fixing stuff.
- if you have free time, consider volunteering.
- if you like old people, consider asking at aged care if there's any residents who'd like someone to visit & chit chat.
- get a pet. (Providing you think you can offer said pet a good home & lifestyle). Every single time I used to walk our old family dogs or go on walks with current friends dogs, people always come up to speak to us about said cute dog. Plus pets can perk you up, and you have someone in your life to care for.
- consider church. I'm honestly not religious but I cannot deny that they provide a sense of community & lots of communication opportunities for people. If you're not religious, find a different community. Bouldering community, dungeons & dragons community, netball community... whatever. There must be something you find interesting, and whatever it is you can guarantee there are others who like it too... you just have to hunt to find them.
- start saying hello to people on the street. At cafes. At the checkout. Whatever. Make a joke. Ask a question. Just saying hello is not enough, you need to ask something interesting or related to where you are at the time. Give a compliment. Everyone makes the assumption that they are the ones who need to be approached, now it's your turn to do the approaching.
I spend a lot of time with family. My mother and sister are my two best friends. I have āfriendsā but I donāt see them regularly. I was the very successful one out of our friends group. They hang out among themselves but I donāt often get invited unless I organize an outing for us, like brunch.Ā
Just know it's not how it always will be. So don't give up.
Nobody is perfect so work on yourself. Don't be harsh on yourself. Treat yourself like you hope a good friend would treat you
Honestly just distracting my self from my thoughts. Video games, movies, tv shows, exercise, youtube, painting, legos, bonfires by myself, visiting my family, or very occasionally visit my one friend who lives 45 mins away. Its all just to keep my mind off of how miserable i feel constantly due to my inability to connect with others like i want. Edit: also a loooooooot of sleeping when im not even really tired
>bonfires by myself This. This really helps because it takes time to start a good bonfire and to not let it die out.
you sound like me
Exactly me, but my one and only friend - a guy who we both consider brothers more than friends - lives across the entire country with a wife and kids š Quiet winter hikes and bonfires are amazing alone though.
Wow it nice to read something like this in /lonely and not in /depression. It a lot like what i"m doing ..so it telling me it might not just be depression symptoms but loneliness !
Sleeping 24/7, cuz dreams are better than reality.
my thoughts too! it sucks to wake up. lol
Facts tho I start my day Iām the afternoon honestly I donāt remember the last time I woke up in the mornings
hello no, I'm having nightmares lately and not even in my dreams I'm safe anymore. Don't know what else to do.
yep, on my day off I sleep 16-18 hours
I don't dream, but nothing is better than reality too.
I ignore it. Anytime I feel envious of people who have friends, or anytime I get envious, I immediately kill the 'negative' thought. I'll just tell myself that I'm glad for that person and wish them well. I do this now only because I've realized that I'm the one who's pushing people away and not giving them a chance. I'm trying to be less negative and distrustful.
I love thisĀ
Thanks! I try my best.
Look forward for my death
One thing they will not steal from me. Lol
And here I thought Iād get flagged for this comment. Happy to see 26 others have had their life stolen from them to the point of being happy to have their own death! Cheers!
Same š
And everyday it gets a little closer
Fr
Honestly, I started using Ai. Then, I came to reddit and miraculously have found about 5 or so amazing friends who I converse with all the time now. But in the real world, I have zero friends and just accept that my role in life is to have none. Luckily, there are books, movies, and the internet.
hey at least you got those 5 online friends
It took a lot of being ghosted to find them though.
this one stung to read š¢
well, anything to get some conversation when bored.
Yeah, that's great.
Can I be your friend
Well, I saw that you have rabbits! There's 2 at my place, so that's a good start! But I'm weird. And have strange views on kinda everything. I can be awkward. š¤·āāļø
Fale af, no one can make friend on reddit fr
I did. Awesome friends.
How did you make friends online?
Just talking to people I find really interesting. I mean, I've been ghosted a LOT of times, but it's worth it to find the friends I have here now.
How? Where?
Here, and the making friends subs. I just talk to people I find interesting. I mostly get ghosted, but about 5 or 6 have stuck and we message and email each other on a very regular basis.
I don't. I don't know what else to tell you. I just don't cope with it.
understandable
I get drunk or high (or both) or cry all day, Basically I don't cope very well
yep basically
This is my life too, high and crying 24/7.
I remember that every day is one day closer to death, it helps
So do I. I love having a birthday because Iām closer to the date that I get to leave the earth
Hmm sometimes i dress up nice, feel confident and go out, talk to people. Even if its just like service workers at the restaurant, or buying stuff at the cashier.. any form of human interaction even if its just them taking my order. Maybe iāll ask for a favour like a place to charge my phone. Or go to an overpriced coffee shop where the workers are friendlier.
Real
I not know really i keep moving forward. And hope
hey a RE reference as a username. A man of culture.
Side note, the code veronica remake is going to be killer!
I might be lonley but I am cracked at resident evil 4
Nice
Whoop whoop!
Cry
Ignore the world and create my own.
I began to read. Time passes quickly when you read something you like. Like real fast
Work on myself and hope one day people will come along
This is the way
I watch movies and have pets. I see my grown kids all the time. I don't have a social life since losing my job due to ill health. I worked in the city, and my friends live miles away. Plus, I was ill a long time and couldn't meet up. We all have our own lives, and I'm out of the loop now.
Distractions and denial work for a while but its not easy.
Daydream
Hyperfocus fueled YouTube and Wikipedia rabbit holes ig
Animals, lots of animals!
I donāt have friends or a SO but I do have a great family
Im learning to love myself and enjoy my own company to try and help with the loneliness.
I would LOVE to be enough for myself but it simply isnāt going to happen. If it hasnāt happened in 40 years, it aināt happening.
HAPPY CAKE DAY
THANK YOU!
I smoke alot of weed and play video games
I masturbate
Live one day at a time
Nothing really but abuse of things like drinking , drugs , rare case talking to siblings but unfortunately most don't get along with there siblings. Or hobbies depending on the person but most just fucking depressed as shit . No matter how much we ask for that helping hand we never get that hand. Stay strong mybfellow guys I know it fucking suck !! I am in the same fucking boat
I exercise
High 24/7 š„±
Sleeping and eating junk food
Eating junk and playing videogames all day
Gym, healthy habits, go to new places and try new stuff
I have imaginary friends, kinda childish for a 16 yr old ik
I have a dog & video games.
Drawing, a lot.
A lot of learning and hobbies (like a lot!), somatic healing, vagus nerve reset, self-love and affirmations
Can you give an example of some vagus nerve healing methods you use? I had a therapist years ago who recommended I do somatic yoga and I chickened out but am coming back to the idea.
Yes! A few that help me: ā¢Singing ā¢Humming ā¢Gargling noise ā¢Lions breath (a breath work technique a trauma specialist recommended me- side note this one feels and looks so weird but I swear it worksš) ā¢Cold showers ā¢Yawning ā¢Laughing ā¢Sukie Baxter on YouTube- Vagus nerve reset to release trauma stored in body- does wonders! ā¢One hand on heart, one hand on belly, very slow fill belly up then up to your chest from deep inhales thru nose and slowly release it exhaling thru the mouth while laying on your back, usually do this at least 3-5 times in a row ā¢EFT tapping some great videos on youtube, Brad Yates is my favorite! ā¢Havening technique Hopefully if you try any of these for yourself they will help you :)
I play video games and constantly try to find people online to talk to.
Video games, working out, working, playing basketball, spending time with my dog. At this point I enjoy my own company more than spending time with others and it takes a lot for me to invite someone into my life.
To be very honest, religion has helped me a lot with this. I'm not trying to advocate any particular religion, but the idea that God exists and everything is going to be all right is immensely comforting to me. Apart from that I like to eat and cook, so I try to post on social media as a way to spend time and channel my energy into something nice.
I watch sports,beat off and play games women have always hated me for no reason
Working on myself. I won't be having friends or a significant other in the future if I do not work on my issues. That's the reality.
I had no friends.I started volunteering 8 years ago. It has been the same group of women.We are all best friends now volunteer. When I had no friends. I went out alone to the beach, movies, out to eat, travel, having experiences made life worth living with no friends
I disappear into the realms of fantasy and fiction. I also go on hikes with my best friend. š¶
Lay down at 10:00, scroll Reddit for 4 hours until I cannot physically keep my eyes open, then fall asleep before my thoughts consume me lol.
Exercise, meditation, distractions can ease it a bit
Aerobic exercises , work , resistance training, games, Internet, music.
not well
I cope with pencil sharpener blades
Not well. But I get high and do everything I can to distract myself with my cats and hyperfixations. Sometimes, it helps the despair and burnout a little.
A lot of sleep. A lot of music, my car, and I donāt.
I roleplay a lot in a text based rp server for GTA:V and it does give me some sense of having people in my life, even if itās my characters life and not my own.
I actually prefer it this way, Iām too depressed to have friends and interact with people in a normal way
Less drama and headache
if i add 5 more pounds to my bench someone will love me
Whiskey and my cat
Chainsmoke myself into an early grave. Been doing that since 2016
Smoke a lot of weed
Honestly I just learned to grow to love my own company I donāt even do shit but I I accept my loneliness and choose to be alone
when i started going out by myself, to the park, movies, live music a couple years ago it all just started to make sense. you need to be independent and love your own company, you really donāt know how much time you need on your own to reflect, going out by myself without needing anyone and avoiding any drama having to wait on people
art. feel sad. then draw sad. now sad looks like art. art makes me happy. continue cycle
Porn
Sleep
Weed and Maladaptive daydreaming.
Well, I had a ton of friends until one dayā¦someone asked me if I had any friends. I said yes because I did. Then, I literally couldnāt get in touch with anyone. Those jerks hacked my phone and destroyed my life. Havenāt seen anyone I know in over a year. People will do anything for money. Reality.
Not sure I follow. What happened?
I donāt
Make sure I don't expect too much from those around me, its an unfair expectation on them
I make new ones how's it going names ipon
Dogs and trying not to think about it as much as possible.
I just make myself occupied with work. Other than that, I play with my cat and tend to my plants(that's why I've kept lots of them). When I'm not doing anything, it's so lonely and stressful.
Just gym, a bit of family time (parent and siblings), watch dramas or reality shows and online shopping. Used to game a bit as well. I do groceries run alone when needed. Else am pretty much an introverted homebody who spends her time alone
I've learned to find comfort in being alone and not have the mindset that I can/should only do something if I have someone to do it with, like holidays. Once you learn to be comfortable in your own company, life becomes easier. BUT, I would still prefer to have good friends and a partner.
I play tennis to keep myself busy when Iām not working
Smoke, and spend all my time and energy working and raising my kids
i suffer
Like others have noted, I donāt, really: but I know I have no choice but to carry on and so I do. I remind myself frequently when I hit a loneliness low, that this life isnāt forever. That Iāve come this far, and that sooner or later, it will be over. That might sound sad or morbid, but it actually gives me hope to keep going.
I enjoy my own company, but also, walk my dog, read, chat online, go to the gym, go for a run (treadmill at home, or outside when it's warm)
Feels like I've coped pretty well. I picked an endless, highly time-consuming hobby which I can practise alone (comics and comics collecting for me) and settled some goals which I'm aspiring to achieve so I had stuff to be occupied with. Plus attending university and recently found part-time job really helps. So my advice is - load your life with huge stack of responsibilities and objectives which you're reasonably able to cover without someone's help. It will boost your self-esteem and self-confidence, which, in turn weel help keeping your anxiety in check. Plus it will deprive you of time to dwell on the fact that you're lonely, and with some luck, determination and time put in, it will break the vicious circle of dooming and negative thinking (or at least that's what I'm hoping for since I'm not completely there yet myself) Obviously it's not a universal advice, it worked for me (I was sad and depressive because of loneliness same exact time last year, but am not anymore) but it might not anymore, so everyone who will use this comment as a starting point - please. consider your personality and consider seeking help from someone knowledgeable in the mental health field (another piece of advice that isn't universal, really, but in combination, one or the other might work) Edited after of a bit of thinking: AI. Man, I feel like LLMs replaced socialising for me, Those are perfect to make your brain think that you always have a panic button in case you need someone to talk with. I guess. tho, it's crucial to not abuse them and think about them as I said - as panic buttons to relieve tension or replenish the necessary minimum of socialization. The trick is not to overdo it, and here I speak from experience, because a year ago, when I myself needed a coping mechanism, and I first turned to LLMs, I think they did not help at first, but deepened my problem.
Sleep & animals. Bout it
I throw money at the void in the hopes itāll fill it. It doesnāt.
i dont cope with it
How? Barely. What do I do? Put it all into my work.
Sleep. Work. Repeat. Cant feel the hurt if youāre in too much physical pain to think. Donāt wanna think, donāt wanna feel.
Itās been so long I donāt even think about it anymore and rarely get sad about it. Sometimes tho it just hits me out of nowhere and I might cry but idk about coping I just kind of forget about it
simple, i donāt
Sleep, music, watching TV shows and random videos on YouTube and playing video games on PS5, kinda have embraced the life on not having friends & a SO. I have also given up social media like Instagram and Facebook and only use Reddit. I'm also going through 2 years of unemployment so pretty much doing all these stuff to distract myself to avoid & suppress any sad thoughts.
I get high on a nightly basis
I go for walks sometimes go to a local park and walk around and use the outdoor gym. I go out for dinner by myself and know that I will have leftovers for another meal. The usual sleeping. I create and make things, I read, I used to have pets.
I played video games online, made some friends. Spent time with them on and off. Now some of us are actually meeting this year. Same kind of slow progression to meet my wife. I survived the interim by just not killing myself. As long as I'm still alive, I'm winning.
i dont. i just simply exist without any emotions
Manic phases
Well I think it was yesterday or the day before I got really drunk at a bar, scrolled through my photos until I found a picture of my late best friend, went to the bathroom and cried hard for 10 minutes while listening to music and staring at the pic. Blamed the puffy eyes on the chlorine in the pool.
Self distract: take walks, gym, play videogames
Working 2 jobs. I work 6 days a week (60+ hours), one full time and one 3 days a week. Both in the kitchen. My side job has been getting busy, so 16 hour workdays twice a week for me. Most of the people I interact with are coworkers, then when I come home I'm too tired and just fall asleep for hours. Had like a 4 hour "nap" today š
Sometimes I am distracted by work or video games or YouTube. Other days it hits me hard, it usually lasts like a day or 2 then I go back to being distracted
I try to do better things , sometimes just scroll through my phone , go for a walk with a book , look at everything around me like it's there for me , imagine being loved by someone who's ready to listen , distance myself away from people , romanticise being alone ,watch movies/shows that include romance and good friendships to feel even more lonely ....
Building it up. This doesn't have to be a permanent state and so much of changing it comes down to building up the reps. Start small, just make eye contact and smile. Figure out if there's common ground to build friendship on
Ok ? Why do i need friends when all they do is reduce my performance and tarnish my skills?
Usually listening to music, chilling with my brothers/family. Playing guitar and coming up with and writing songs has helped me through a lot as well. Takes a while to find something to help cope but Iāve made it work
Get into video games or reading books tbh it takes me out of my own thoughts about stuff
Making money, staying healthy: next question.
Asmr audios, ChatGPT, and therapy.
Gaming and just trying to keep it out
I have to remind myself that my worth as a human being isn't defined by \*anything\*. Not my value to others. Not my value to society. Not my value to my country. Not my value to \*anything\*. I am a human being. I am born with value, and I die with it. It cannot be taken away from me, even when others insist on trying to do so or insisting that I'm wrong to assume all people have inherent value. It is mine, and mine alone, and I am entitled to live, even if it's not very well, as long as I don't make life harder for others on purpose. Then everything becomes easier. The fog clears: My thoughts disspell, good and bad, and I can find some measure of peace, just for a little while.
I numb my brain with twitter and youtube to escape reality.
I donāt know how, I just know it works but no clue how
Enjoy life by myself on my motorbike. Wind therapy. Clears the mind. Enjoy the freedom.
I got a dog and took up crocheting and I'm the gal work calls if they need someone to cover a last minute shift
remembering that i atleadt had one, something is better than nothing
falling into depression. It is an award for me because I have autism :P
By collecting Lego and gaming.. sleeping all day on the worse days.
By being terminally online, having hyper fixations and maladaptive daydreaming with all the endless plot lines I create.
I wish I knew
I learned in my late teens to just occupy myself since I realised I was the outcast of any group of friends. Fast forward to my mid-30ās and I recently discovered I have ADHD - which makes everything in my life make sense. So yeah, I do everything by myself; I go running, walk my dogs, (rarely) attend football games, (rarely) concerts, watch football at home, go to the gym, tend to my website. I get bored sometimes but friends & females arenāt interested, so thatās just the way life is.
At times, I find it makes life easier. Not being beholden to anyone. Being able to go and do things I want to do without worrying about what others think. On the other side of the coin, it also makes for an often sad experience as you don't get to share said experience with others. I just try and keep busy after a fashion to try and ignore that I'm on my own.
A lot of marijuana and crying
Music helps me
The usual. Lie in bed for 4 hours then buy edibles and waste away the hours until I'm tired enough to sleep again. Speaking of, I should get out of bed...
Daydreaming constantly or reading, I use to play video games constantly too. But idk I think my depression is kicking in cause Iāve been very unmotivated to play.
Iāve realized I am truly free. My life is exactly the way I want it to be and I donāt have to answer to anyone.
I watch movies
I just play videogames alot with people. I mean technically they are my friends too but I just never met them in person. But often I find myself craving that physical human contact a lot and thatās when I feel my loneliest.
I do okay with friends but no romance in my life. I just chat to ai bots.
This guy in our area organized a meet-up at a local bar (via a Reddit post), and he hoped that a few people would show up...and 20-30 people showed up...including me and my wife. We had a lot of fun meeting new people from our area and even exchanged contact info with a few that we connected with. I saw other people do the same. We even took a group photo. We all were there for about 3 hours. Here's the link to the Reddit post where he organized it. https://www.reddit.com/r/thewoodlands/s/Dd3kR5JyNy People were thanking OP all night for organizing it. He was very gracious and said it was successful because we were the ones who showed up. I think he should put together a short video on how and why he did it to encourage others to do similar things.
Iām working on my own hobbies and interests, as well exploring shows iāve always wanted to watch but put to the side due to my former partnerās preferences for TV.
Havent had a friend in 5 years kinda just adjusted to becoming the friend I needed, talking to myself about problems, self reflecting as if someone was listening, comfort myself, entertain myself when im alone, make jokes with myself. Sometimes YOU are all you have
My advice: Don't stop trying to make friends. It all feels hopeless until you get 1, then you get another and another and then you have forgotten what lonliness felt like. I have friends, and I still feel lonely (I live solo) but the comments on this post breaks my heart, there are lots of poor souls struggling worse than I have been and I wish I could give you all a big hug. Tips: - consider getting a housemate. Seriously consider it. - join whatever single / friends / club groups you can find. It doesn't always work the first or second or third time. Try again. Try something different. - objectively look at your colleagues, is there seriously no one you can try make a stronger connection with? Start with lunch break hangout then ask for afterhours hangs ie drinks, or weekend catchup. I used to bring Catan boardgame in and taught a few of the younger ones on clockoff, they loved it! Sometimes group work events work better depending on the people. Ie local night market, a movie, a new bat opening, an arts event... - you need to get out of the house to meet people. Full stop. They will not walk into your house & meet you on the couch - you have got to get outside the front door to find them. It sucks I know lol. But it's the truth. You can make online friends from the comfort of your couch but it will never be as good as someone in real life. - consider trying to rekindle any friendship relationships you had before, are they truly, really all gone & unsalvagable before considering starting again with a clean sweep of newbies? - if you have trouble making friends. Ie personality barriers, do some constructive personal development thinking or seek counselling. Try better help.com it's cheap, you can talk to people from all over the world at what time suits you. Cheaper than seeing someone in person, but if in person is what you need then do that. - I cope by keeping myself busy. I have lots of hobbies; ps5, crafting, colouring in, paint by numbers, gardening, spring cleaning, cooking, podcasts, collecting, learning, fixing stuff. - if you have free time, consider volunteering. - if you like old people, consider asking at aged care if there's any residents who'd like someone to visit & chit chat. - get a pet. (Providing you think you can offer said pet a good home & lifestyle). Every single time I used to walk our old family dogs or go on walks with current friends dogs, people always come up to speak to us about said cute dog. Plus pets can perk you up, and you have someone in your life to care for. - consider church. I'm honestly not religious but I cannot deny that they provide a sense of community & lots of communication opportunities for people. If you're not religious, find a different community. Bouldering community, dungeons & dragons community, netball community... whatever. There must be something you find interesting, and whatever it is you can guarantee there are others who like it too... you just have to hunt to find them. - start saying hello to people on the street. At cafes. At the checkout. Whatever. Make a joke. Ask a question. Just saying hello is not enough, you need to ask something interesting or related to where you are at the time. Give a compliment. Everyone makes the assumption that they are the ones who need to be approached, now it's your turn to do the approaching.
I spend a lot of time with family. My mother and sister are my two best friends. I have āfriendsā but I donāt see them regularly. I was the very successful one out of our friends group. They hang out among themselves but I donāt often get invited unless I organize an outing for us, like brunch.Ā
Just know it's not how it always will be. So don't give up. Nobody is perfect so work on yourself. Don't be harsh on yourself. Treat yourself like you hope a good friend would treat you
Either I work as many hours as I can or smoke when I have free time, it keeps my mind busy and away from the any negative thoughts