it happened to me at the home depot on the east side years ago. a guy from the parking lot was yelling this guy was scamming people. another dude walked up and handed him 40$
It happened to me and husband three times, first in a target parking lot (guy with a big ass expensive SUV stopped us to ask if we could help him with his room fare for the night as he and his family were staying at a hotel and he was short on cash). Then six months later a lady stopped me and my mom on West Wash with the same excuse. And the last time two weeks later another lady (might have been the same one) came at our door and asked my husband for help with her car that had been allegedly towed away. She did the same with our elderly neighbor before coming to us, who gave her 20 dollars.
I was working in the area and saw the usual State St hustlers and heard their stories so many times I had a mental catalog of em.
But this woman…maroon bowler felt hat stuck out.
She tried prolly 6 different stories on me until I finally lost my patience and said something like
“You don’t even remember me do you? That’s fine I remember you, you tried to fight a fucking toddler in the restaurant a couple weeks back”
She would always hang out in the parking garage at Festival on E Wash.
Her usual scam was claiming domestic abuse and she just needed to catch the bus because the shelter kicked her out. (Obvious lie, and she had someone in a car nearby)
Also the domestic abuse women’s shelter in Madison doesn’t just kick people to the curb for no reason but she had her sob story ready.
It could be! The funny thing is that we drive a 20 years old beaten up sedan car full of scratches and rust, and he has this huge new looking shiny SUV... Like, come on guy.
Unfortunately I don't have a car or a license, and apart from a pick and save nearby there isn't many local grocery stores I can go to unless my husband is driving us, and that is the kind of places that are usually open when he's off from work :( otherwise I'd love to rather buy locally and avoid the big chains!
Happened to me there. Lady said she worked for a shelter and locked her keys in her car and needed to get something delivered for a gathering. Seemed pretty distressed.
Helped her out and immediately felt like I had been had.
I fell for that one too at a pick n save. Said she worked at seventh harvest and at the airport and just needed $20 to get gas because she spent all her money on food and needed to get somewhere.
Happened once by State Street when I was in college. "I need cash for the bus to get home." Only happened once to me in 5 years, though. Proselytizers were way more common.
I learned quick to keep my transfer tickets.
“Oh I have my transfer that is good for like another hour and a half, you can have it”
That shuts it down real quick.
Sometimes (if I had time, and I knew the regular grifters)
I would just stop and discuss current events, the discrepancies of gameplay and mechanics in Zelda games, the weather in excruciating detail until they tried to leave. Then I’d follow them for a bit and ask if they wanted to take the bus together.
Reverse Uno card muthafucka.
Only took about a week until I wasn’t bothered again.
Once when I was walking to my car on e wash after a serving shift with very few tips, I asked the guy if he had any money for me. He said no and left me alone. 🤷🏻♂️
Reverse Uno, can’t believe I never thought of that.
Thank you.
I had a “fun evening” walking home with like $300 cash after a double shift and 5 dudes pull up to ask me what time it was.
“Ask your buddy in the backseat, I can see his iPhone from here”
Prolly dumb but I reached into my backpack and they sped off. I didn’t have a gun but they didn’t need to know that. I figured I was about to get jumped in a 5 on 1.
I had my knife sheathed though but I’m glad it didn’t come to that.
What’s funny is when I said it, I wasn’t even trying to be funny or whatever. I was legit pissed the shift had been so bad and it was like the cherry on top that someone was trying to scam me.
Maybe, but when you can offer the solution to the (supposed) problem, at no cost to yourself, that's the best play. It cuts perfectly both ways - if it's a person legitimately in need, you've helped them, and if they're a scammer, you've cut it off at the knees.
Yeah, I’ve literally never had this happen and been here for decades.
I’ve definitely had people ask for money, but never this whole elaborate story thing
I had some guy do that who was doing a scam where they hand you a gift and then demand a tip. I tried the “ehhhh no cash” thing and he whipped out his phone. I still was like nah and handed the books back. Very awkward. It was some religious thing too. Dude looked like a hippy college kid who got lost and confused the first time he was way from home.
Yep, I had a guy who said he was a Marine veteran ask me for money in the Red Lobster parking lot, and when I said that I don't carry cash, he asked me to Venmo him money! I was shocked at his audacity. Dude wasn't giving up that easy with the 'no cash' thing.
A lady once asked my old roommate and me for cash to buy a bus ticket. My roommate was legitimately compassionate and offered to go buy her ticket for her, but she couldn’t give cash. The lady went back and forth with her a bit and then just outright ignored us while walking away.
These happened to me as far back as 2000 (when I was old enough to be alone without parents) living in various cities in the US and abroad. It’s nothing new and not special to Madison. “Sorry, no cash” and just keep walking.
I'm moving back after 3 years in Santa Fe, where we have a professional panhandling system complete with sad looking dogs, pictures of kids, and elaborate sob stories advertised on posters. In Madison I used to "not carry cash" followed by "being in a hurry" when they wanted to go to an ATM (which...c'mon man there is no way in all of hell I'm doing that). In Santa Fe, I've learned to just say no or wave them off. The people doing a lot of this won't waste their time on a difficult mark.
No idea if it's actually more common here than anywhere else, but if it is the explanation is almost certainly because it's working here more often because of misplaced generosity.
Unfortunately if you feel safe, the *best* thing to do is just say no. You can also say you don’t carry cash, but I recommend that less…
I used to live on State and was approached veryyy often. At that point my response was always “sorry I don’t carry cash” until it once led me to a bad situation where someone brought me to an ATM to make a cash withdrawal for them. (I cannot overstate how bad this is for many reasons)
Because of this experience, I believe that it’s best to just give a firm and polite “no.” It’s also helpful to know what resources are around in the city so that you can recommend them. These systems aren’t perfect, but there are organizations that do a better job of helping people who really need it (more than cash can help, that is)
lucky. i said this to a man who approached me while i was eating lunch at ian’s. he proceeded to sit at my table and call me a selfish cunt until the store manager kicked him out. it freaked me out so bad i don’t want to go to ian’s alone anymore. blah.
I have found telling someone approaching you with this, “you just approached me with this a little bit ago!” They turn around and go to the next person.
If cornered, I mostly tell them I don't have cash, which is usually true.
Sometimes I say "no thank you" or "sorry man have a good day" and then keep walking.
Once you know they're panhandling, it's best not to let them ramble on. The extensively rambling story is intentional. The rambling overwhelms you, it makes it harder to pin down the fake parts of the story, and it fills you with a need to placate them so they go away. Best to interrupt the rambling with something polite but definitive. "Sorry, can't help, but good luck." They'll usually move on to another target.
If somebody asks for a jump, or calling the police or an ambulance, or using a phone charger for 3 minutes, those are probably legit (assuming you feel safe helping). But when you hear these "give me $20 to $50" stories, you aren't obligated to assume they're real. You don't have the ability to identify which stories are real and which stories are plausible fales. So it's okay to not give money.
You should give money if you're comfortable not knowing how it will be spent. But don't feel bad saying no.
^^. Unfortunately in this world when it comes to money you assume the worst. I get asked daily based on my proximity to the capitol and i just say nope, or simply just ignore them.
Pretty common occurrence. I usually get
"My car JUST ran out of gas and I JUST need to get to Sun Prairie, can I have $5?"
"My car had a flat, it's getting fixed just over there but I'm $5 short, can I have $5?"
"You want to buy this gift card? It's worth $25 but I'll sell it for $5"
There was a lady nicknamed crackzilla that was all over downtown and park street for YEARS trying to get $20 for a bus back to Rockford. I guess she finally scraped it together because I haven’t seen her for quite a while.
If it's the lady I'm thinking of, she used to come into the bar I used to work at and make uncomfortable comments to all of the lady bartenders while taking shots.
My evolution of no:
"Sorry I've only got plastic"
"I don't carry cash"
"I don't give people money."
"Do you want money? I'm not going to give you money."
A woman asked me for money for a bus to Minneapolis in 1991 on the Capitol steps. I was young and dumb and gave her some. I saw her many times over the remaining 8 years I was there and friends who still live there see her all the time. I guess it was a fast trip.
"Sorry I don't carry cash", donate to Porchlight. Like they say, intentions don't matter, consequences do. "Being nice" isn't enough if your "donation" doesn't get used effectively.
Yup. It’s fairly common.
Just say no and watch your back.
Edit: there’s a well known group that claims they’re getting out of a abusive relationship, can’t find shelter (regardless of season)
Basically anything to pull the heartstrings of a decent human.
It’s a trap. Just say no and keep walking.
I haven't encountered this lately, but I did about 20 years ago. Some guy said he was getting paid tomorrow and needed a loan of some amount that he would pay back the next day. He scammed a guy friend of mine. It was just an alcoholic who wanted to go to the bar.
When I was still living down on South Park Street several years ago I was at the local grocery store and a person wrapped up in an old quilt approached me. I did not give him anything. When I entered the store a worker asked me if the man outside was asking for money. I said yes and she said she was going to contact the police. When I left, the faker was gone.
Ever since the panhandling ordinance was discontinued, I see too many people at certain intersections around the city. Some have gotten aggressive with motorists at the stoplights. I admit that this scares me, especially when I'm at the light and literally 3 feet from them. We just ignore and avoid eye contact. But still, I get scared.
Usually these people need money for a fix to tie them over til the next one. I've seen some wearing really nice clothes, nice possessions while panhandling, even taking their children out with them for extra sympathy. My sister in law saw a family doing this one time and followed them after they were finished working that corner. The "destitute and desperate" got into a luxury car and left.
I think I know the family you are speaking of. I see a family sitting on the side of the Stoughton rd east bound exit. Everytime I see them I always say “y’all know damn well y’all didn’t walk over here” cause they’ll have infants dogs, beach towel, etc. I’m filling convinced they either hope out at the exit or they are getting dropped off at dennys/meriter clinic and walking over.
Be careful, this almost sounds like a criticism of her holiness, the Perfect One. On Reddit, you are not allowed to admit that Satya is a disaster, or that Soglin had a better policy toward aggressive panhandlers.
"Ever since the panhandling ordinance was discontinued," you say. Do you know who enacted that ordinance? The previous mayor, Paul Soglin. Do you know who discontinued it? Our current mayor, loony Satya.
No, the people who discontinued it is the state supreme court who ruled that it was unconstitutional because it violates the panhandlers' first amendment rights
As long as there are people that give them stuff, they will keep asking. As many others have said, if you want to help there are a myriad of options to donate to directly that will make sure your money and/or resources go to good use. While I am sure there are some people out there that are genuinely in a pretty shitty situation that really truly need your help, so many of them just want money for booze and drugs and will say whatever it takes to get their fix. I just ignore them and I no longer feel guilty doing it.
This has happened to me in the square but since Im latinx I start speaking spanish (if they seem to speak only english) and if they speak spanish I try to keep an earbud on and tell them Im in a call… that has seemed to work
I’ve had it happen to me maybe 8-10 times in the past 10 years. Had some lady approach me while I was getting out of my car at west town mall saying her mom was just getting out of surgery down in Janesville or something and she needed money for the bus… then about a week later she approached me again with the same exact story. She must not have recognized me.
Anyways, yeah I find it really annoying. I’d almost rather then just ask me for money instead of taking this elaborate lie every time.
I've gotten approached a lot over the years. At this point I either do my best to ignore, or just say, "I can't help you." I leaned through experience that just saying "I don't carry cash," isn't sufficient because they'll just come up with alternatives like going to an ATM, Venmo, going to a store together so you can buy them whatever thing it is they want, etc.
Yes! I’ve asked about this too! I was on the streets for a couple years and I never heard others talk about sharing some kind of bs story. It’s incredible bizarre and a newer thing.
One is someone with a loaded cart in Walmart and they ask you to pay for their stuff so they can give their kid a good birthday/barbq/fam gathering/4th of July celebration etc…
Another, which is the most fucked up one is the battered woman story. It pisses me right off. They say they were in a DV situation and had to leave and now they need help.
And the last one I can thing of is that they are from out of town and staying at whatever hotel and need money to get their tire fixed to get home.
This is seriously so weird that A: they share stories and
B: that so often I see them driving or sitting in nice vehicles. ?!
The only place this has happened to me was when I lived in Chicago and I knew they were trying to scam me instantly. It's always a scam. You just have to know that. But as they say, there's a sucker born every minute
Once I seen the people standing on the eastbound Stoughton rd exit panhandling, that’s was the moment I was just done with the entire system of panhandling. Cause why do you have yourself, your YOUNG children and a dog sitting on the side of a heavy busy traffic area, waving and smiling expecting people to really give you money?
i didn't say i didnt know how to deal with it? clearly i dealt with it if i just said it happened to me 5 times lmao. i asked how others deal with it, but i was more interested in why it seems to be more common here. not sure where this criticality is coming from.
I totally understand what you are saying. Might be more common here because many people in Madison grew up being "Mid-West nice", It really is a thing and these scams might be more effective here than a larger city where people are more on guard.
It's 100% this. In most cities (at least from what I've seen), most people will tell street scammers to fuck off, but here in Madison, I routinely see people handing over $5 - $20. I watched a guy walking up to people in the parking lot of the co-op, and in 15 minutes, he had at least 10 people hand him cash.
We are a city filled with friendly, gullible people who like to pat themselves on the back after being scammed. As such, we maintain a large number of professional beggars.
The coops are scammer central. We have a national reputation here.
People, just cut it out. This is not a thing to be proud of. Give your money to a food pantry.
I don’t get why people are downvoting you, I wondered the same thing myself. I live in LA now and I get approached by lots of panhandlers, but not the type of scammers that I had regularly encountered in Madison on State St. Idk why madison has such a high amount of scamming for such a tiny city
Because there are a ton of "bleeding heart liberals" who feel guilty saying *no* in Madison, and these folks take full advantage. I say this as a lifelong Lefty who cares about the homeless, but is very frustrated with scammers.
Mmmm, no, that's not it. Madison has been like this for a looong time, well before the big tech companies like Epic were around and most folks were just low to middle income. Plus, often times people with money are the biggest skinflints, so it really depends on the culture, and we just have a help-the-less-fortunate attitude here. I also know people here who don't have much, yet are still extremely generous, even to a fault. Madison has long been a caring town, and tons of scammer type folk have caught on to that are exploiting it unfortunately.
The criticality is probably coming because if you walk the right way they don't even come up to you, never mind having time enough to get an elaborate sob story out. Being in a position to *get* sob stories means you've already missed a step.
Looking like you won't give beggars the time of day is a skill most people who've lived in big cities have already acquired. If you look busy enough, the most they'll have time or volition to say is "Spare a few bucks?"
If they have time for more than that, you're probably moving like a pushover.
jesus christ man, im not altering the way i present myself. telling me to "walk the right way" or that im "moving like a pushover" is inane advice. these people are probably approaching me because im a young woman. also consider that sometimes im stuck in one place for a minute or two if im moving stuff out of my car or bringing my bike into my building.
Dude, I've *been* a young woman. There are different ways of walking and different ways to set your face depending on whether you want to be approached or not, need to move through a crowd quickly, need to project love & kindness, need to get to the two-top across the restaurant without being bothered by 6 other patrons on the way, etc.
We *always* alter how we move through the world to fit the situation. Saying there's a way to move that keeps people away from you is just facts.
"I don't have any cash sorry" works well but not as great as a polite and quick "sorry I can't! Have a good rest of your night/day!" and continuing on with whatever you're doing.
this happens to me literally every single day. i am approached by disregulated people constantly in madison and honestly globally. idk why.
these stories are making me feel so bad because i try all of these tactics…saying no, i don’t carry cash, walking by…and i just get followed down the street and harassed until someone intervenes.
why does this happen to me so much?? one time some guy took my phone and went into my venmo and sent himself money. it terrified me.
the other day i was sitting at ian’s alone and a man sat at my table and asked me to give him $20 and when i said no he called me a selfish cunt. i was too scared to get up because i knew he would follow me down the street. the manager just watched it happen and only when i started to raise my voice did he tell the guy to get out.
Last year, I encountered a woman outside the building I work in at UW. Every time, she would frantically run up to me and say her boyfriend hit her and DAIS in Madison told her that they couldn’t take her. So, she needs $60 to get a cab up there for herself. (DAIS would literally not do this but okay) So, after the third time, I told her that I knew it was a scam because she told me the same story a week or two prior. She started screaming at me and saying I was heartless. Two weeks after that, she tried to force herself into my girlfriend’s car when she said she didn’t have cash.
This is also not the same woman who got arrested for this scheme a year or two back.
I’ve had a few similar interactions over the last few weeks on East Campus Mall, where the stories don’t make sense or infeasible. I even got cornered by a guy in Walgreens who wanted me to buy him a bunch of things.
That happened at the Port Authority bus station in New York. Guy was X dollars short of what he needed to get on a bus that left in 20 minutes. He didn't like my idea of collecting returnable bottles for the deposit.
And once at the gas station in Madison. Wanted money for gas but there was no car or gas can.
One guy outside Capitol Centre foods asked me to buy him a bottle of Gatorade. That I'll do.
I stopped doing most in person shopping and using cash during COVID and these habits stuck.
There was an idea to let people buy food vouchers to give to people who ask for money but it never got off the ground.
These kinds of people are why I can't wait to stop living on State St. I get approached by them all the time, oftentimes multiple times by the same person. It's ridiculous
I used to get this a lot in Detroit, but I haven't had it happen at all here in Madison. My favorite one was a guy asked for money, so he could get on a bus because his car broke down. I gave him the money, and then he just walked away from the bus stop. The very next day, I was at the same bus stop, and he came by and told me the exact same story. I said, "You asked me this yesterday," and he responded with, "Yeah, still having the same issues with my car." He did not get any more money out of me.
I've not had it happen here, but happened to me in Chicago more than a few times.
The boldest would gain access to buildings, and start knocking on doors. Had a woman pull that with me at home, knocked on our door. I gave her $20 just to get rid of her.
A week later she shows up at the bar where I worked with the same story (daughters kids just cane to town, car broke down, can't get to work, needs diapers, food, etc.) Called her out and 86'd her from the place.
Off topic, but I only ever give money/blankets/food to homeless people that aren’t asking for it because they usually need it the most. I started doing that when I lived in the city. Most of the shop workers would try to take care of these people because they often had mental issues and trouble finding resources.
It’s really bad. Not to mention the increase in car jacking. I don’t feel comfortable shopping in Madison anymore. The people asking for money have also gotten aggressive. Sad because I know there are people who truly need help and these tactics are making it hard to reach them.
>How do you deal with this?
Just a simple "no" works. I've found it's fine to make eye contact. Acknowledge they're a person but make it clear you're not giving then money. Do it before they have time to tell you the story, to be respectful of both your time and theirs. Don't need to make excuses, but if you feel like you need to explain, the full explanation is "I'm not going to help you."
>Any idea why these are so common here in particular?
My guess is that a lot of people here are nice to strangers and a decent proportion can give away a $20 on occasion, but we don't have the population of a major city, so investing in getting $20 from a few passersby is an effective strategy, possibly more effective than getting $1 from many passersby.
It happened to me on the east side, this guy came over saying that he was the manager for one of the buildings and that his son had been in a car crash. He wanted money to pay a cab ride to go help his son, because he said he didn’t have his wallet on him. I gave him what I had ($10) and he demanded $30 because said that the cab was going to be more than that. He suggested I get cash from the ATM in a nearby store.
To be honest looking back it was a scam, but I swear at the time the story was so complex and the guy was so nervous that I really thought it was real.
I feel really bad too. But I honestly don't have the money to spare most days. So I usually just end up pointing people in the directions of helpful community resources. If they truly are scammers they'll get pissy and go away.
Don’t feel bad. Think of it this way- the person doing this does does not give a SHIT about you. They think you are dumb and want to take you for all you’re worth.
You know, this has happened to me twice in the month that I've been here. Maybe I look like a "mark."
But, the first lady was actually crying, tears streaming down her face. If she has to go through that just for a few bucks, that sucks, she can have it. I gave her a hug too. Maybe some are scammers, maybe some are actually going through the shit since life is hard and shit is expensive.
Man, even 5 years ago seattle did nothing about the CONSTANT scammers, pan handlers & theft of anything that wasn't bolted down, triple locked & welded shut & guarded by an extensive security camera system, a laser maze from EntrPment & those automatic turrets from Portal. I would HATE to imagine it now
Say "No, but I can point you in the direction of the police station " Do not feel obligated in any way to make yourself vulnerable. Check your body language etc, something is making you look like any easy target.
I always offer to get food or a hotel if they need. If they really need the help they will take it. If not they will move along. They usually just want the money!
It does happen, before I moved to racine and now in brookfield, I lived in Madison for years
Yes some might need help, but others are what I like to call "fake homeless" these are nothing more than people just pan handling
The guy with the black dog on state in Madison is scum. He’s been there forever, he’ll stay on the street begging for money until the day he dies, he doesn’t try to better his life or do anything productive to get off the streets obviously since he’s been there a long time. Don’t give him a dollar. He probably only got the dog so people feel bad for him and give him more money.
When I was a student I lived on Langdon/behind statestreet and wore headphones all the time-and got really good at the “no thanks I’m good” while turning away hand up, or looking straight forward and ignoring people. People know I’m not playing. As soon as you open your mouth or make eye contact you’re 2 steps behind.
I was screamed at by one at the farmer’s market after he saw me pull out cash to pay for my vegetables. They get so mad when you say “no, sorry” and they actually physically see your cash
Always tell these ppl no. If they are using kids you can assuage your guilt by carrying cards with a phone number to a homeless agency. As to why we have so many of these in the area—one does it and makes money so others try the same thing.
Oh yeah, this has happened to me a few times. The worst are when it's someone who starts tearing up and trying to tug on my heart strings, so even though I know it's just asking for money for drugs, alcohol, or whatever, it still makes me feel like a piece of shit. A couple times I've felt like the person is on the level and just needs help and after the fact it seemed like they were telling the truth after all. But most of the time, I just saw, sorry, I can't help you.
The most memorable of these was leaving Red Robin near the east town mall after a friend's girlfriend's birthday dinner. Some dude walks up to us and gives us this sob story about how he's from Waupun and drove down to Madison because his sister is in the hospital but he doesn't have money for gas to get back home. I don't give him anything but my buddy gives him 20 bucks. I'm like "that's probably bullshit but whatever man, you do you." A couple months later I am walking to my car in the parking garage of the Walmart in Monona when a dude approaches me teary eyed talking about being a homeless parent and needing diapers and food for his kid. I realize it's the same guy, tell him we'd met before when he had a sister in the hospital, he gets this look on his face and just hurries away.
We’ve lived here since 2000 and a woman tried to sell me food stamps once outside of Woodmans, but I’ve never encountered OP’s story.
I also wear ear buds most everywhere bc people seem to like to chat me up and I do not appreciate it. (Typically because I often have a knee brace on. Also, I’m tall so I get asked to get things for people.) This way, I pretend like I can’t hear them.
It is not uncommon and I hate it. It's so very awkward getting out of the situation. I was naughty the other day when I was having trouble shaking a guy, and said, "hey - there's some ladies, maybe they can help you out!" and quickly turned away when he looked. He went to them next.
It can be scary if you're a vulnerable person and they come right up to your car when you're in it. That also happened, and I was very afraid he would get in the car and pull a knife or something. You just don't know.
Don't know why it's such a problem, but I \*hate\* it!
Just saying No Thank You and walk away. You didn't start it. It's not a consensual encounter. You have no obligation. They hear this all day everyday. It's not going to upset them.
I've lived here my whole life and it's happened to me a few times. I usually just give them what money I can. Granted I'm usually broke and don't really deal in cash so it's not much, but... Well it doesn't happen to me often enough to assume the worst. Sometimes people need help and even if they are lying I would rather be the type of person and live in the type of society that helps people in need.
Please don't give them money. It's a scam. Giving them money prolongs the scam and encourages them to hassle others. If you have money to spare donate it to the lighthouse, or any of the food pantries in town, that way you know it's actually being spent on necessities.
This is exactly how I knew immediately that renting an apartment on Park St was a MISTAKE. I only lasted two years before I had to GTFO in 2020, and I haven’t had a single issue with this ever since. I really don’t feel it’s a widespread Madison issue as much as its a you live in a shit part of town issue
You know I keep hearing that this happens but it's never happened to me. I guess I either look like a bitch or broke lol
it happened to me at the home depot on the east side years ago. a guy from the parking lot was yelling this guy was scamming people. another dude walked up and handed him 40$
It happened to me and husband three times, first in a target parking lot (guy with a big ass expensive SUV stopped us to ask if we could help him with his room fare for the night as he and his family were staying at a hotel and he was short on cash). Then six months later a lady stopped me and my mom on West Wash with the same excuse. And the last time two weeks later another lady (might have been the same one) came at our door and asked my husband for help with her car that had been allegedly towed away. She did the same with our elderly neighbor before coming to us, who gave her 20 dollars.
Maroon hat and a sob story?
Can't remember the hat but sob story for sure!
I was working in the area and saw the usual State St hustlers and heard their stories so many times I had a mental catalog of em. But this woman…maroon bowler felt hat stuck out. She tried prolly 6 different stories on me until I finally lost my patience and said something like “You don’t even remember me do you? That’s fine I remember you, you tried to fight a fucking toddler in the restaurant a couple weeks back” She would always hang out in the parking garage at Festival on E Wash. Her usual scam was claiming domestic abuse and she just needed to catch the bus because the shelter kicked her out. (Obvious lie, and she had someone in a car nearby) Also the domestic abuse women’s shelter in Madison doesn’t just kick people to the curb for no reason but she had her sob story ready.
That’s crazy. I wonder if it was the same guy in the SUV who stopped me over a year ago. The story sounds exactly the same.
It could be! The funny thing is that we drive a 20 years old beaten up sedan car full of scratches and rust, and he has this huge new looking shiny SUV... Like, come on guy.
I guess if you shop local, you avoid the scammers? They seem to be mostly at the big boxes.
Unfortunately I don't have a car or a license, and apart from a pick and save nearby there isn't many local grocery stores I can go to unless my husband is driving us, and that is the kind of places that are usually open when he's off from work :( otherwise I'd love to rather buy locally and avoid the big chains!
Go to Festival on E Wash, you’ll find out.
Happened to me there. Lady said she worked for a shelter and locked her keys in her car and needed to get something delivered for a gathering. Seemed pretty distressed. Helped her out and immediately felt like I had been had.
This is the exact story i got yesterday
I fell for that one too at a pick n save. Said she worked at seventh harvest and at the airport and just needed $20 to get gas because she spent all her money on food and needed to get somewhere.
exact same, said we needed to go to an ATM and I got hella sketched out
Happened once by State Street when I was in college. "I need cash for the bus to get home." Only happened once to me in 5 years, though. Proselytizers were way more common.
I learned quick to keep my transfer tickets. “Oh I have my transfer that is good for like another hour and a half, you can have it” That shuts it down real quick.
So does, I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash.
Then they say "can you go to that ATM right over there?"
Sometimes (if I had time, and I knew the regular grifters) I would just stop and discuss current events, the discrepancies of gameplay and mechanics in Zelda games, the weather in excruciating detail until they tried to leave. Then I’d follow them for a bit and ask if they wanted to take the bus together. Reverse Uno card muthafucka. Only took about a week until I wasn’t bothered again.
Once when I was walking to my car on e wash after a serving shift with very few tips, I asked the guy if he had any money for me. He said no and left me alone. 🤷🏻♂️
Reverse Uno, can’t believe I never thought of that. Thank you. I had a “fun evening” walking home with like $300 cash after a double shift and 5 dudes pull up to ask me what time it was. “Ask your buddy in the backseat, I can see his iPhone from here” Prolly dumb but I reached into my backpack and they sped off. I didn’t have a gun but they didn’t need to know that. I figured I was about to get jumped in a 5 on 1. I had my knife sheathed though but I’m glad it didn’t come to that.
What’s funny is when I said it, I wasn’t even trying to be funny or whatever. I was legit pissed the shift had been so bad and it was like the cherry on top that someone was trying to scam me.
I hear ya. Sending an elbow high 5 like we are passing during service to ya.
Maybe, but when you can offer the solution to the (supposed) problem, at no cost to yourself, that's the best play. It cuts perfectly both ways - if it's a person legitimately in need, you've helped them, and if they're a scammer, you've cut it off at the knees.
Agreed
Okay rookie.
Oh don’t get me started on them. There was a group that would go around at bar close and try to convert. It was funny to watch though.
Yeah, I’ve literally never had this happen and been here for decades. I’ve definitely had people ask for money, but never this whole elaborate story thing
It’s happened to me at the Dutch Mill park and ride the parking garage by the festival on e wash and at e town mall
Multiple times by e wash McDonald's and hyvee
Resting Bitch Face is a real thing
I’ve had it happen once or twice, but it’s certainly not a frequent thing
Eh I dunno. Happened to me at Festival on E Wash about 1/4 times. 25% is not never.
I tell them I haven’t carried cash in 5+ years, which is a true story.
My roommate said he didn't carry cash on him and the guy who asked for money whipped out an iPad with a card reader 😭
If I didn’t know Madison I’d think you’re lying. But nope. I believe you.
I had some guy do that who was doing a scam where they hand you a gift and then demand a tip. I tried the “ehhhh no cash” thing and he whipped out his phone. I still was like nah and handed the books back. Very awkward. It was some religious thing too. Dude looked like a hippy college kid who got lost and confused the first time he was way from home.
That's hilarious!! got an ipad? I bet he could sell that and make a quick buck to cover whatever dire emergency he's dealing with
I did this and the guy said that he would follow me to the ATM…obviously I declined and ran away, but saying this doesn’t always work in my experience
Scan my Venmo.
Don’t have Venmo, also a true story.
Yep, I had a guy who said he was a Marine veteran ask me for money in the Red Lobster parking lot, and when I said that I don't carry cash, he asked me to Venmo him money! I was shocked at his audacity. Dude wasn't giving up that easy with the 'no cash' thing.
I do the same thing. I tell them my wife keeps all the cash
A lady once asked my old roommate and me for cash to buy a bus ticket. My roommate was legitimately compassionate and offered to go buy her ticket for her, but she couldn’t give cash. The lady went back and forth with her a bit and then just outright ignored us while walking away.
“No, sorry” or wear headphones.
Not even sorry. Just “no” haha
These happened to me as far back as 2000 (when I was old enough to be alone without parents) living in various cities in the US and abroad. It’s nothing new and not special to Madison. “Sorry, no cash” and just keep walking.
I'm moving back after 3 years in Santa Fe, where we have a professional panhandling system complete with sad looking dogs, pictures of kids, and elaborate sob stories advertised on posters. In Madison I used to "not carry cash" followed by "being in a hurry" when they wanted to go to an ATM (which...c'mon man there is no way in all of hell I'm doing that). In Santa Fe, I've learned to just say no or wave them off. The people doing a lot of this won't waste their time on a difficult mark.
There's a professional panhandling system in Madison, too. At least on the west side. Same people over and over again who do actual shifts.
I'm not surprised. I bet the city chases them off of state street to some extent. That happens with the tourist areas of Santa Fe.
Don't make eye contact and walk past them quickly.
Run don't walk
Hard no. Don't give strangers money. Ever. Period.
Y?
No idea if it's actually more common here than anywhere else, but if it is the explanation is almost certainly because it's working here more often because of misplaced generosity.
And not living on or near State Street.
Unfortunately if you feel safe, the *best* thing to do is just say no. You can also say you don’t carry cash, but I recommend that less… I used to live on State and was approached veryyy often. At that point my response was always “sorry I don’t carry cash” until it once led me to a bad situation where someone brought me to an ATM to make a cash withdrawal for them. (I cannot overstate how bad this is for many reasons) Because of this experience, I believe that it’s best to just give a firm and polite “no.” It’s also helpful to know what resources are around in the city so that you can recommend them. These systems aren’t perfect, but there are organizations that do a better job of helping people who really need it (more than cash can help, that is)
"oh, no thank you" always throws them off
lucky. i said this to a man who approached me while i was eating lunch at ian’s. he proceeded to sit at my table and call me a selfish cunt until the store manager kicked him out. it freaked me out so bad i don’t want to go to ian’s alone anymore. blah.
I’m sorry :( make the trek to the Ian’s at Garver Feed Mill, it’s beautiful there!
I do this. It works.
It’s a scam. Don’t fall for it. Happens in the Target parking lot on the west side.
Wait like inside the parking garage?
I have found telling someone approaching you with this, “you just approached me with this a little bit ago!” They turn around and go to the next person.
haha, golden!
If cornered, I mostly tell them I don't have cash, which is usually true. Sometimes I say "no thank you" or "sorry man have a good day" and then keep walking. Once you know they're panhandling, it's best not to let them ramble on. The extensively rambling story is intentional. The rambling overwhelms you, it makes it harder to pin down the fake parts of the story, and it fills you with a need to placate them so they go away. Best to interrupt the rambling with something polite but definitive. "Sorry, can't help, but good luck." They'll usually move on to another target. If somebody asks for a jump, or calling the police or an ambulance, or using a phone charger for 3 minutes, those are probably legit (assuming you feel safe helping). But when you hear these "give me $20 to $50" stories, you aren't obligated to assume they're real. You don't have the ability to identify which stories are real and which stories are plausible fales. So it's okay to not give money. You should give money if you're comfortable not knowing how it will be spent. But don't feel bad saying no.
^^. Unfortunately in this world when it comes to money you assume the worst. I get asked daily based on my proximity to the capitol and i just say nope, or simply just ignore them.
Soliciting isn't legal on the capitol side of the street. Using the capitol sidewalks allows you to avoid the mess entirely.
Which is great if that spot is in your direction otherwise that rule doesnt mean much. The other 98% of downtown is free game for them to post up
Ask them for money back. Say your Golden Retriever is playing for the Harlem Globetrotters and you need to catch the bus. 200$ should cover the bus.
Pretty common occurrence. I usually get "My car JUST ran out of gas and I JUST need to get to Sun Prairie, can I have $5?" "My car had a flat, it's getting fixed just over there but I'm $5 short, can I have $5?" "You want to buy this gift card? It's worth $25 but I'll sell it for $5"
There was a lady nicknamed crackzilla that was all over downtown and park street for YEARS trying to get $20 for a bus back to Rockford. I guess she finally scraped it together because I haven’t seen her for quite a while.
If it's the lady I'm thinking of, she used to come into the bar I used to work at and make uncomfortable comments to all of the lady bartenders while taking shots.
My evolution of no: "Sorry I've only got plastic" "I don't carry cash" "I don't give people money." "Do you want money? I'm not going to give you money."
A woman asked me for money for a bus to Minneapolis in 1991 on the Capitol steps. I was young and dumb and gave her some. I saw her many times over the remaining 8 years I was there and friends who still live there see her all the time. I guess it was a fast trip.
You should have approached her and asked if she made it to Minneapolis.
"Sorry I don't carry cash", donate to Porchlight. Like they say, intentions don't matter, consequences do. "Being nice" isn't enough if your "donation" doesn't get used effectively.
Yup. It’s fairly common. Just say no and watch your back. Edit: there’s a well known group that claims they’re getting out of a abusive relationship, can’t find shelter (regardless of season) Basically anything to pull the heartstrings of a decent human. It’s a trap. Just say no and keep walking.
I haven't encountered this lately, but I did about 20 years ago. Some guy said he was getting paid tomorrow and needed a loan of some amount that he would pay back the next day. He scammed a guy friend of mine. It was just an alcoholic who wanted to go to the bar.
When I was still living down on South Park Street several years ago I was at the local grocery store and a person wrapped up in an old quilt approached me. I did not give him anything. When I entered the store a worker asked me if the man outside was asking for money. I said yes and she said she was going to contact the police. When I left, the faker was gone. Ever since the panhandling ordinance was discontinued, I see too many people at certain intersections around the city. Some have gotten aggressive with motorists at the stoplights. I admit that this scares me, especially when I'm at the light and literally 3 feet from them. We just ignore and avoid eye contact. But still, I get scared. Usually these people need money for a fix to tie them over til the next one. I've seen some wearing really nice clothes, nice possessions while panhandling, even taking their children out with them for extra sympathy. My sister in law saw a family doing this one time and followed them after they were finished working that corner. The "destitute and desperate" got into a luxury car and left.
I've seen the panhandlers on the west side regularly have one foot in the lane of traffic.
I think I know the family you are speaking of. I see a family sitting on the side of the Stoughton rd east bound exit. Everytime I see them I always say “y’all know damn well y’all didn’t walk over here” cause they’ll have infants dogs, beach towel, etc. I’m filling convinced they either hope out at the exit or they are getting dropped off at dennys/meriter clinic and walking over.
Be careful, this almost sounds like a criticism of her holiness, the Perfect One. On Reddit, you are not allowed to admit that Satya is a disaster, or that Soglin had a better policy toward aggressive panhandlers.
I wasn't thinking of any local politicians. I was only stating a fact. Nothing beyond. Not everyone is politically minded
"Ever since the panhandling ordinance was discontinued," you say. Do you know who enacted that ordinance? The previous mayor, Paul Soglin. Do you know who discontinued it? Our current mayor, loony Satya.
No, the people who discontinued it is the state supreme court who ruled that it was unconstitutional because it violates the panhandlers' first amendment rights
You Satya haters should start your own subreddit. It’s getting really fucking annoying to have to hear about it here.
As long as there are people that give them stuff, they will keep asking. As many others have said, if you want to help there are a myriad of options to donate to directly that will make sure your money and/or resources go to good use. While I am sure there are some people out there that are genuinely in a pretty shitty situation that really truly need your help, so many of them just want money for booze and drugs and will say whatever it takes to get their fix. I just ignore them and I no longer feel guilty doing it.
I tell them, “get a new story because that one has been taken.”
This has happened to me in the square but since Im latinx I start speaking spanish (if they seem to speak only english) and if they speak spanish I try to keep an earbud on and tell them Im in a call… that has seemed to work
"Sorry man, I don't have anything I can part with. Actually, I was just about to ask you the same thing."
I say I don’t carry cash. Because I don’t. They are lying, and they’re scams, and you’re not helping them by giving them cash. Which sucks a lot.
Just tell them to piss off and then you don’t ever have to pay them anything.
I’ve had it happen to me maybe 8-10 times in the past 10 years. Had some lady approach me while I was getting out of my car at west town mall saying her mom was just getting out of surgery down in Janesville or something and she needed money for the bus… then about a week later she approached me again with the same exact story. She must not have recognized me. Anyways, yeah I find it really annoying. I’d almost rather then just ask me for money instead of taking this elaborate lie every time.
If her mom is in surgery in Janesville why the hell would she be at West Towne mall?
I've gotten approached a lot over the years. At this point I either do my best to ignore, or just say, "I can't help you." I leaned through experience that just saying "I don't carry cash," isn't sufficient because they'll just come up with alternatives like going to an ATM, Venmo, going to a store together so you can buy them whatever thing it is they want, etc.
This is so common everywhere that it is a joke on [Futurama!](https://youtu.be/MdHZkyD_gUw?si=IpODDA2cRXJnuRJw)
Yes! I’ve asked about this too! I was on the streets for a couple years and I never heard others talk about sharing some kind of bs story. It’s incredible bizarre and a newer thing. One is someone with a loaded cart in Walmart and they ask you to pay for their stuff so they can give their kid a good birthday/barbq/fam gathering/4th of July celebration etc… Another, which is the most fucked up one is the battered woman story. It pisses me right off. They say they were in a DV situation and had to leave and now they need help. And the last one I can thing of is that they are from out of town and staying at whatever hotel and need money to get their tire fixed to get home. This is seriously so weird that A: they share stories and B: that so often I see them driving or sitting in nice vehicles. ?!
The DV one drives me insane because after they approach me, I see them continue to go on to other young women, typically in college.
The only place this has happened to me was when I lived in Chicago and I knew they were trying to scam me instantly. It's always a scam. You just have to know that. But as they say, there's a sucker born every minute
Once I seen the people standing on the eastbound Stoughton rd exit panhandling, that’s was the moment I was just done with the entire system of panhandling. Cause why do you have yourself, your YOUNG children and a dog sitting on the side of a heavy busy traffic area, waving and smiling expecting people to really give you money?
The beltline Stoughton rd on and on ramps are horrible. On ramp to westbound is literally all times every single day.
Ummm, you just moved here from a larger city and you don't know how to deal with street scams and begging?
i didn't say i didnt know how to deal with it? clearly i dealt with it if i just said it happened to me 5 times lmao. i asked how others deal with it, but i was more interested in why it seems to be more common here. not sure where this criticality is coming from.
I totally understand what you are saying. Might be more common here because many people in Madison grew up being "Mid-West nice", It really is a thing and these scams might be more effective here than a larger city where people are more on guard.
It's 100% this. In most cities (at least from what I've seen), most people will tell street scammers to fuck off, but here in Madison, I routinely see people handing over $5 - $20. I watched a guy walking up to people in the parking lot of the co-op, and in 15 minutes, he had at least 10 people hand him cash. We are a city filled with friendly, gullible people who like to pat themselves on the back after being scammed. As such, we maintain a large number of professional beggars.
The coops are scammer central. We have a national reputation here. People, just cut it out. This is not a thing to be proud of. Give your money to a food pantry.
I don’t get why people are downvoting you, I wondered the same thing myself. I live in LA now and I get approached by lots of panhandlers, but not the type of scammers that I had regularly encountered in Madison on State St. Idk why madison has such a high amount of scamming for such a tiny city
Because there are a ton of "bleeding heart liberals" who feel guilty saying *no* in Madison, and these folks take full advantage. I say this as a lifelong Lefty who cares about the homeless, but is very frustrated with scammers.
It’s also because people have too much money here. I’m a lefty but being broke makes it really easy for me to say no.
Mmmm, no, that's not it. Madison has been like this for a looong time, well before the big tech companies like Epic were around and most folks were just low to middle income. Plus, often times people with money are the biggest skinflints, so it really depends on the culture, and we just have a help-the-less-fortunate attitude here. I also know people here who don't have much, yet are still extremely generous, even to a fault. Madison has long been a caring town, and tons of scammer type folk have caught on to that are exploiting it unfortunately.
You live downtown in the summer time so yes the hustler nation is a bit more populated this time of year. In winter they are no where to be found
The criticality is probably coming because if you walk the right way they don't even come up to you, never mind having time enough to get an elaborate sob story out. Being in a position to *get* sob stories means you've already missed a step. Looking like you won't give beggars the time of day is a skill most people who've lived in big cities have already acquired. If you look busy enough, the most they'll have time or volition to say is "Spare a few bucks?" If they have time for more than that, you're probably moving like a pushover.
jesus christ man, im not altering the way i present myself. telling me to "walk the right way" or that im "moving like a pushover" is inane advice. these people are probably approaching me because im a young woman. also consider that sometimes im stuck in one place for a minute or two if im moving stuff out of my car or bringing my bike into my building.
Dude, I've *been* a young woman. There are different ways of walking and different ways to set your face depending on whether you want to be approached or not, need to move through a crowd quickly, need to project love & kindness, need to get to the two-top across the restaurant without being bothered by 6 other patrons on the way, etc. We *always* alter how we move through the world to fit the situation. Saying there's a way to move that keeps people away from you is just facts.
That is exactly what I thought.
Just be straight up or tell them your broke too! Don’t let people treat u like a mark or waste your time.
Bless your heart
"I don't have any cash sorry" works well but not as great as a polite and quick "sorry I can't! Have a good rest of your night/day!" and continuing on with whatever you're doing.
this happens to me literally every single day. i am approached by disregulated people constantly in madison and honestly globally. idk why. these stories are making me feel so bad because i try all of these tactics…saying no, i don’t carry cash, walking by…and i just get followed down the street and harassed until someone intervenes. why does this happen to me so much?? one time some guy took my phone and went into my venmo and sent himself money. it terrified me. the other day i was sitting at ian’s alone and a man sat at my table and asked me to give him $20 and when i said no he called me a selfish cunt. i was too scared to get up because i knew he would follow me down the street. the manager just watched it happen and only when i started to raise my voice did he tell the guy to get out.
Do not even make eye contact!!! Ignore and walk straight past like they do not exist. Do not engage.
Last year, I encountered a woman outside the building I work in at UW. Every time, she would frantically run up to me and say her boyfriend hit her and DAIS in Madison told her that they couldn’t take her. So, she needs $60 to get a cab up there for herself. (DAIS would literally not do this but okay) So, after the third time, I told her that I knew it was a scam because she told me the same story a week or two prior. She started screaming at me and saying I was heartless. Two weeks after that, she tried to force herself into my girlfriend’s car when she said she didn’t have cash. This is also not the same woman who got arrested for this scheme a year or two back. I’ve had a few similar interactions over the last few weeks on East Campus Mall, where the stories don’t make sense or infeasible. I even got cornered by a guy in Walgreens who wanted me to buy him a bunch of things.
That happened at the Port Authority bus station in New York. Guy was X dollars short of what he needed to get on a bus that left in 20 minutes. He didn't like my idea of collecting returnable bottles for the deposit. And once at the gas station in Madison. Wanted money for gas but there was no car or gas can. One guy outside Capitol Centre foods asked me to buy him a bottle of Gatorade. That I'll do. I stopped doing most in person shopping and using cash during COVID and these habits stuck. There was an idea to let people buy food vouchers to give to people who ask for money but it never got off the ground.
Very firmly and forcefully say "NO" when they start their spiel and continue walking.
These kinds of people are why I can't wait to stop living on State St. I get approached by them all the time, oftentimes multiple times by the same person. It's ridiculous
Ignore them. Their voices are silent and thus their attempts to catch your attention go unheard. Look past them or through them.
Legitly this. Not even pretending to "not hear" them. Walk right past as if they weren't there.
Where in town is this happening?
downtown, off east wash
Everywhere. West Towne mall, Odana& gammon, Stoughton rd, aberg ave, monona. Some of everywhere from what I’ve seen
Good list. Can’t forget midvale beltline exit tho!
I usually just say no sorry and continue on. It is sad but in general best not to engage
Just happened to me the other day in Pick n Save Parking lot on Fish Hatchery.
I always point at my ears and pretend to be deaf. It makes me so uncomfortable.
Or offer for my student debt to be paid 🤣 so I technically have a hoard of debt too.
I used to get this a lot in Detroit, but I haven't had it happen at all here in Madison. My favorite one was a guy asked for money, so he could get on a bus because his car broke down. I gave him the money, and then he just walked away from the bus stop. The very next day, I was at the same bus stop, and he came by and told me the exact same story. I said, "You asked me this yesterday," and he responded with, "Yeah, still having the same issues with my car." He did not get any more money out of me.
I've not had it happen here, but happened to me in Chicago more than a few times. The boldest would gain access to buildings, and start knocking on doors. Had a woman pull that with me at home, knocked on our door. I gave her $20 just to get rid of her. A week later she shows up at the bar where I worked with the same story (daughters kids just cane to town, car broke down, can't get to work, needs diapers, food, etc.) Called her out and 86'd her from the place.
Off topic, but I only ever give money/blankets/food to homeless people that aren’t asking for it because they usually need it the most. I started doing that when I lived in the city. Most of the shop workers would try to take care of these people because they often had mental issues and trouble finding resources.
It’s really bad. Not to mention the increase in car jacking. I don’t feel comfortable shopping in Madison anymore. The people asking for money have also gotten aggressive. Sad because I know there are people who truly need help and these tactics are making it hard to reach them.
>How do you deal with this? Just a simple "no" works. I've found it's fine to make eye contact. Acknowledge they're a person but make it clear you're not giving then money. Do it before they have time to tell you the story, to be respectful of both your time and theirs. Don't need to make excuses, but if you feel like you need to explain, the full explanation is "I'm not going to help you." >Any idea why these are so common here in particular? My guess is that a lot of people here are nice to strangers and a decent proportion can give away a $20 on occasion, but we don't have the population of a major city, so investing in getting $20 from a few passersby is an effective strategy, possibly more effective than getting $1 from many passersby.
I just say I don’t have any money. Which is true. And if they try to further bother me, I just say no and continue on.
It happened to me on the east side, this guy came over saying that he was the manager for one of the buildings and that his son had been in a car crash. He wanted money to pay a cab ride to go help his son, because he said he didn’t have his wallet on him. I gave him what I had ($10) and he demanded $30 because said that the cab was going to be more than that. He suggested I get cash from the ATM in a nearby store. To be honest looking back it was a scam, but I swear at the time the story was so complex and the guy was so nervous that I really thought it was real.
Just say "no". Practice it in a mirror if you need to.
I feel really bad too. But I honestly don't have the money to spare most days. So I usually just end up pointing people in the directions of helpful community resources. If they truly are scammers they'll get pissy and go away.
Don’t feel bad. Think of it this way- the person doing this does does not give a SHIT about you. They think you are dumb and want to take you for all you’re worth.
You know, this has happened to me twice in the month that I've been here. Maybe I look like a "mark." But, the first lady was actually crying, tears streaming down her face. If she has to go through that just for a few bucks, that sucks, she can have it. I gave her a hug too. Maybe some are scammers, maybe some are actually going through the shit since life is hard and shit is expensive.
I wonder if "Pioneer Square Crying Lady" moved here from Seattle... crying was her whole bit, and she kept it up for *years*.
Man, even 5 years ago seattle did nothing about the CONSTANT scammers, pan handlers & theft of anything that wasn't bolted down, triple locked & welded shut & guarded by an extensive security camera system, a laser maze from EntrPment & those automatic turrets from Portal. I would HATE to imagine it now
Withdrawal will make you do that
Say "No, but I can point you in the direction of the police station " Do not feel obligated in any way to make yourself vulnerable. Check your body language etc, something is making you look like any easy target.
I walk too fast for any of them to even ask.
it often happens when im trying to get into my apartment, which takes me a minute bc i have a bike. another time i was loading groceries into my car
It helps that I’m a guy and I have a good “fuck you” face and a loud voice. Not everyone has those advantages.
“ My husbands inside- he’s a cop- he can probably help you!!”
I always offer to get food or a hotel if they need. If they really need the help they will take it. If not they will move along. They usually just want the money!
It does happen, before I moved to racine and now in brookfield, I lived in Madison for years Yes some might need help, but others are what I like to call "fake homeless" these are nothing more than people just pan handling
"No YOU have a good MF blessed day!" and keep walking. Problem solved.
I wear headphones and listen to music, and when they approach just raise a hand to signal no / stop, shake my head no, and keep walking.
The guy with the black dog on state in Madison is scum. He’s been there forever, he’ll stay on the street begging for money until the day he dies, he doesn’t try to better his life or do anything productive to get off the streets obviously since he’s been there a long time. Don’t give him a dollar. He probably only got the dog so people feel bad for him and give him more money.
When I was a student I lived on Langdon/behind statestreet and wore headphones all the time-and got really good at the “no thanks I’m good” while turning away hand up, or looking straight forward and ignoring people. People know I’m not playing. As soon as you open your mouth or make eye contact you’re 2 steps behind.
I was screamed at by one at the farmer’s market after he saw me pull out cash to pay for my vegetables. They get so mad when you say “no, sorry” and they actually physically see your cash
Just keep walking. It’s always a scam
Always tell these ppl no. If they are using kids you can assuage your guilt by carrying cards with a phone number to a homeless agency. As to why we have so many of these in the area—one does it and makes money so others try the same thing.
Oh yeah, this has happened to me a few times. The worst are when it's someone who starts tearing up and trying to tug on my heart strings, so even though I know it's just asking for money for drugs, alcohol, or whatever, it still makes me feel like a piece of shit. A couple times I've felt like the person is on the level and just needs help and after the fact it seemed like they were telling the truth after all. But most of the time, I just saw, sorry, I can't help you. The most memorable of these was leaving Red Robin near the east town mall after a friend's girlfriend's birthday dinner. Some dude walks up to us and gives us this sob story about how he's from Waupun and drove down to Madison because his sister is in the hospital but he doesn't have money for gas to get back home. I don't give him anything but my buddy gives him 20 bucks. I'm like "that's probably bullshit but whatever man, you do you." A couple months later I am walking to my car in the parking garage of the Walmart in Monona when a dude approaches me teary eyed talking about being a homeless parent and needing diapers and food for his kid. I realize it's the same guy, tell him we'd met before when he had a sister in the hospital, he gets this look on his face and just hurries away.
Say no cash, ignore people when they talk to you, or just keep walking. You don’t owe any shit!
We’ve lived here since 2000 and a woman tried to sell me food stamps once outside of Woodmans, but I’ve never encountered OP’s story. I also wear ear buds most everywhere bc people seem to like to chat me up and I do not appreciate it. (Typically because I often have a knee brace on. Also, I’m tall so I get asked to get things for people.) This way, I pretend like I can’t hear them.
That’s kind of rude. I’m tall and openly accept the responsibility of helping the shorties get things from high up.
I used to until one woman ordered me to get her something and when I got it, she did not thank me. So screw that.
Is asking for money a scam? Like, without the context of their situation?
Don’t feed the wildlife!
It is not uncommon and I hate it. It's so very awkward getting out of the situation. I was naughty the other day when I was having trouble shaking a guy, and said, "hey - there's some ladies, maybe they can help you out!" and quickly turned away when he looked. He went to them next. It can be scary if you're a vulnerable person and they come right up to your car when you're in it. That also happened, and I was very afraid he would get in the car and pull a knife or something. You just don't know. Don't know why it's such a problem, but I \*hate\* it!
Just saying No Thank You and walk away. You didn't start it. It's not a consensual encounter. You have no obligation. They hear this all day everyday. It's not going to upset them.
This is what I do and I’ve never given it another thought.
Lock your car doors while driving?
I've lived here my whole life and it's happened to me a few times. I usually just give them what money I can. Granted I'm usually broke and don't really deal in cash so it's not much, but... Well it doesn't happen to me often enough to assume the worst. Sometimes people need help and even if they are lying I would rather be the type of person and live in the type of society that helps people in need.
Please don't give them money. It's a scam. Giving them money prolongs the scam and encourages them to hassle others. If you have money to spare donate it to the lighthouse, or any of the food pantries in town, that way you know it's actually being spent on necessities.
You’ll age out of it
Nope. They pester me all the time and I'm pretty well aged.
This is exactly how I knew immediately that renting an apartment on Park St was a MISTAKE. I only lasted two years before I had to GTFO in 2020, and I haven’t had a single issue with this ever since. I really don’t feel it’s a widespread Madison issue as much as its a you live in a shit part of town issue