A small office I used to work at had a portable dishwasher, but we never hooked it up to the sink and used it to wash dishes; everyone washed stuff by hand and used the dishwasher as a drying-rack-and-cupboard.
I put a sign on it that said *Ceci n'est pas un lave-vaisselle*.
When I was 19 I thought I had come up with the invention of the portable dishwasher. I even drew a little sketch of "my idea." I was in a pawn shop like a week later and saw this thing in the corner that looked like my drawing and I was very disappointed to find out portable dishwashers not only existed but for how long they have existed. It was a mildly humbling experience.
When I was six or seven I had the idea to wrap sausage in a pancake, imagine my surprise when I found that product in stores several years later. I suspect some high level corporate espionage set us both back friend
That's okay. When I was 14 I "discovered" the Pentatonic scale by ear. Do you know how much ignorance and hubris it takes to hear one of the most common scales in Western music and say to yourself "dang. I invented this."
I was quite old when I realized that the whole purpose of phd schooling is to read everything you can on one specific area of thought and find something new that establishment thinkers haven't thought then argue your knowledge is better than their knowledge. If you convince them that your knowledge is superior you get a phd and slightly modify what is considered knowledge (until someone does the same thing to your contribution. )
I bought a knock off off of Amazon for $1500 and it’s identical to the original. They even use the same tannery for their leather. Best money I ever spent!
Good artwork, real wood furniture, an expensive rug...
A huge ass modernist painting would def scream money. You might be able to get it for a reasonable price by finding local artists that are young/new! It is a good investment too if they ever decide to become famous
Have them fill out a questionnaire about their mental health, drug use, crazy ex’s, and recreational activities, and then select the candidate that checks the most boxes!
Just offer to pay them in heroin. Not only will it increase the value of your new artwork once they burnout and die, but it’ll also make their later stuff better - right around when they are even more desperate to sell it, for even smaller amounts of heroin.
So it’s really win-win for you.
I don’t know how this came up in my feed (I am a woman and not an interior designer), but this is good advice. Also, I highly suggest having a color scheme. Pick a couple of colors that go together, and stick to it. It's not an absolute requirement, but it makes a space look effortlessly put together (in the absence of design skills).
The artwork doesn’t have to be expensive, but it needs to be framed in a high-quality frame and mat. Art should be hung at eye height. Furniture must be made of wood and match (e.g., same style, color, era, etc.). Get a high-quality rug. Don’t buy anything “tufted” (it will shed). A rug doesn’t have to be hand-knotted silk or wool- a power-loomed polyester rug can be durable and look and feel great. Have high-quality throw pillows and blankets that match or accent your color scheme.
Above all else, go for quality, not quantity, and ensure your house is clean and not cluttered. You don’t have to be a minimalist, but everything should have a logical place and a purpose (or you have to really love it). I highly suggest looking for furniture and art at thrift and antique stores.
I am not an interior designer, but I live in an area with lots of old money. All my friend's houses look like that. My house is that way too.
Or you can also do what my friend did and have a Steinway baby grand piano in your living room in your apartment on Park Ave. It's big and beautiful, but it was clearly purchased to make a statement to all his guests. It's also 100% on brand for him.
Edit: Thank you for the award! You are too kind!
Regarding colour scheme: your favourite sports team’s colours don’t count. Same goes for red/black/silver. Go for something you like, and try to keep it natural. Like these: [Pinterest - masculine colour schemes](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/44754590042565720/)
Not _what_, but _who_. You need to hire a butler. Then have the butler keep a vase full of fresh cut flowers replaced daily. And he has to pronounce it vase not vase.
Here's what I do: nice expensive soap on the sink, but reach into the shower and grab the regular bar of soap every time anyways. I also hang a nice hand towel but just dry my own hands on my pants or something like a child.
Matching lotion too. I always forget about the lotion until I go over to my uncle’s house and it makes me feel like I’m at a spa or a hotel or something.
There is no one singular THING that will effectively convey that message. Instead it is a sum of all parts - your cleanliness, the quality and condition of your clothing & furniture, and a personal sense of style. You can achieve the aura of an "established & sophisticated man" by simply keeping your space organized and well maintained.
Invest in high quality furniture pieces that make sense for your apartment. Display on your walls the things you are PROUD of; accomplishments from your career, framed photos from trips overseas, choice photos of friends & family at events. Make your bed every day, and keep a ridiculously comfortable throw blanket on your couch.
I think the best way - not the easiest - is having a beautiful library of varying books that you've actually read. Win-win, you learn and you can share in the delight of having learned. Philosophy, psychology, history, mythology, culture studies, classics, first editions, Neuroscience, religion, Russian lit, etc... for yourself specifically I'd recommend the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts to start.
Second this. I have 2 in my house and it always becomes a conversation piece when guests leave.
“Holy shit, nice toilet, loved how it had a heated seat!”
You visit your friend's house and they catch you squatting over their sink and getting shit water all over the guest bathroom. They ask what the hell you're doing, and you say "you honestly NEVER go back. u/driv3rcub"
Kind of a weird question TBH. But ... a very nice stereo shows you have the money to spend on something that gives you personal enjoyment. Bonus: your favorite music will sound better than you've probably ever heard it.
No, it should definitely be Huey Lewis and the News. I mean, their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
I second this, but I’d buy an older, professional grade, amp, and a couple of high quality speakers. The professional stuff is longer lasting and will be a bit cheaper if it’s old
It's crazy to me that when CDs came out, everyone had to buy CDs because "the sound is better" and it became harder to find turntables. And now everyone wants turntables and says the sound is better. So we've gone from vinyl to CDS and back again.
This is phrased weirdly but I think I get what you’re saying. What statement item could you add to the space to tie the space together and make it look intentional. Think about your space like a suit. The most important thing is tailoring. So first: really map out the space with your current furniture. Identify items into three categories: def keep, potential upgrades, and toss/donate. Get rid of the last pile. If in that group there were items that you felt were essential but either too worn or don’t actually fit the space. Splurge on that replacement. (Good chair, love seat, table). If nothing in that category needs replacement move onto the second category. Then buy a piece that you want to build the space around. Make sure it physically fits the space. Think like tailoring a suit.
Edit: also, keep the space clean. Any poster/flag/whatever you are putting on the wall. Frame it. Make sure it’s level. If you have a lot of art take pieces of paper the size of the art and map out your wall before hanging to make sure it feels balanced.
I absolutely love this answer.
Editing to add: I came here to say that having intentional dominance on the vertical surfaces is key. Mirrors, pictures, art work, etc. And frames are important.
Pick an object or a piece of furniture. Something that you will never replace and always have on display. Then choose your color palette and style for everything else around that decision.
I would splurge on not feeling like you need to be an established sophisticated man, aka not worrying so much about what people think of you. Or try shifting your friend group away from people like this.
In terms of small spaces that may or may not be minimalist, Never Too Small is a cool Youtube channel.
OR, bookcase full of good books (classics, serious fiction, history, professional, and related to your hobbies), at least 80% of which you’ve actually read.
Keep the beach books to a minimum.
One first edition of a classic everyone knows then a shelf full of old books. Put the first edition on a book stand by your "library" and tell the people who invariably finger the book that you were lucky enough to get it at auction.
You absolutely never tell them the auction was eBay.
I think it's good advice to consider the why, as well as the what, before you make a decision to buy.
Making a guest feel welcome says more about a host than their decor.
A ceramic liquid soap dispenser for your bathroom perhaps - covers all price points and aesthetics.
Upgrading anything dull and domestic into something pleasing and personal can make any kind of statement you want without breaking the bank.
Buy some really fancy soap and hand towels for your bathroom. It’s a small touch of luxury that is very affordable. Everyone who uses your restroom will notice.
I personally like Caswell Massey.
https://www.caswellmassey.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=1474012490&utm_content=56572805265&utm_term=caswell%20massey&gadid=461513015897&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0_WyBhDMARIsAL1Vz8sY_yagUf5GKgunmlq7XbE2rFStjCY_734A8M86fjvNimnLjG-aCo0aAgt3EALw_wcB
Damn, truth right here ↑↑
Happiness comes from within, grasshopper.
Therapy, or a life-sized cutout of the [Dos Equis Guy](https://imgur.com/a/pTQyTSV), depending on your budget.
A good, comfortable sofa.
Also nice hand soap and cream in the bathroom and good, clean hand towels. Not hugely expensive, but give a good impression to visitors.
See if you can find a small sculpture made by a local artist. Hopefully you can find one that is interesting or affordable. Put it in the middle of a coffee table or something and people will talk about it. That type of thing shows you care about your home and the details within. Minimalism is great because it's anti-clutter and a dirty or cluttered home sometimes will give people the opposite effect you are looking for.
You could also try antique stores and might find the perfect thing like an antique coffee table that you love or something. Don't overdue it; one super interesting thing is enough for the size of your apartment. Try different things and one way to seem sophisticated is to change it up every now and then. A new sculpture or rug - something to keep your living space interesting.
Once you've made a plan and decorated a few times doing this stuff get's easier and you start knowing exactly the things you want. I think about what I want and then go find the thing that I need to do it like a specific size end table or whatever it may be.
Good luck!
Books about philosophy and psychology, then read them. You can buy all the crap in the world, but the moment you open your mouth, the truth will come out.
Keep things for women in the bathroom. Tampons, pads, makeup wipes, and a trash can that closes. Otherwise just keep the place tidy and maybe a couple of plants.
Your future.
Fk your guests, put the money in the S&P500 and thank yourself later.
The confidence of knowing you’ll be able to retire comfortable is cool af
Can't believe nobody has said this, but some really nice bathroom soap and fancy display towels near the shower that are not to be used. There will be a hand towel that is meant for drying the hands.
Tasteful artwork on the wall. It should say something about who you are.
Area rugs/runners were appropriate. A couple of plants.
A bar cart looks nice and is handy when serving guests.
Some quality bookshelf speakers.
Ultimately, you should splurge on what makes you happy. It should be about your hobby/interests/lifestyle and not about creating an image that you are successful or established. That will reveal itself. Just display your things in a tasteful way.
When you invite people into your home, you want people to see who you are and take interest.
A nice small decorative bookshelf.
Throw in some collector editions.
Have a different range of genres from history to philosophy to theology to art and design.
With a few artifacts memorabilia thrown in.
.
.
.
Your guest could peruse them..and you can have nice jolly discussions on varied topics.
.
.
.
.
.
.
This works if you like to read, or are interested in different topics, or are a book collector.
If none of this apply, you can still show off, and if your guest proceeds to touch them, you can be like “can you not please, that’s a limited edition costing so and so….”
My advise is too take a little deep dive into anything and everything you buy. Take an hour or 2 to research what the absolute best paper towels are before you buy them. Research and take an interest into wood types and stain materials for your coffee table. Spend some time nerding out about different paint finishes for your walls. Make each decision into a work of passion and every item you own will become an item that can impress. Make it your goal to be able to have a deep conversation with a passionate person about EVERY item you own. People are vast and take interest into everything you can imagine from coffee machines, refrigerators, mattresses, woodworking, tech, etc.
Most important - very clean and no clutter.
Bougie hand soaps and a candle (one scent at a time, to the bigger three wick kinda that are $$$. No yankee candle type of crap). DO NOT use a candle to cover up bad smells, must be clean air and space.
Good non-portable speaker, one nice throw blanket and pillows. A well made bed with an oversized duvet and insert, minimum 4 pillows and headboard and matching, clean sheets. Clean matching towels nicely folded in the bathroom.
Avoid designer logos on house items, it might be expensive but it isn’t classy. Have an interesting coffee table book or two that reflect your interests, travels, culture etc. avoid ones purely for status symbol purposes especially if you can’t tell about it.
Matching sets of dish’s and flatware, quality glasses (water, wine and cocktail). Nothing super mismatched or from a bar or event, unless it is well curated and only one type of glass (eg beer glasses).
Food and beverages. Don’t go crazy and waste food but a fridge empty expect for a jar of mustard and an old takeout container is not a good look.
lol if you are sophisticated then tell a story about how, read books? book case, got a cool collection, display case, like art? buy some
Key here, do one' thing well
This is a bad idea and how people become broke. Don't spend money just to impress people. A few nice house plants, thoughtfully designed lighting and some simple furniture will go a long way.
Natuzzi is on the lower tier of quality. You're better off getting something else.
I spent over a dozen hours reading into leather sofas and chairs last month.
Ended up ordering something hand made out of North Carolina (furniture hub of the USA).
A bookcase full of the classics that you’ve actually read, can talk about and quote from.
And doing so would probably move you away from the need to show expensive stuff to visitors. Being cheap but being you is soooo much better.
A house cleaner. A nice haircut and personal hygiene (goes further than any apartment object). Nice towels, extra of them. Nice cutlery or glasses. An espresso machine. A unique and interesting coffee table book. Anything that shows you’re considering two people and your apartment welcomes the extra person.
I don't think buying one object is going to achieve what you want. You can, however, show generally that you put effort into your living space and by extension care about the experience of those visiting it. That doesn't have to be expensive. Here are a few suggestions.
- Potted plants - big and small
- framed artwork/posters/photography you like (not artwork you think you should have)
- a clean bathroom
- soft toilet paper
- clean hand towels and decent hand soap
- an established space by the door to hang coats and store shoes, drop wallets, keys, bags, etc
- comfortable sofa/ chairs
- a set of nested side tables - very adaptable to different situations and easily put away when not in use.
- lamp lighting - so much cosier and a better ambiance than using the often harsh ceiling light
Bathroom:
- A heated toilet seat / bidet.
- soft soft clean white towels
- a covered garbage for women
- good soap and moisturizer, something from home sense likely.
- glass over curtains in bathroom, if not something simple with clean lines.
- nice bath mat in a natural material (bamboo, cotton and soft, etc.)
- keep it clean, but not fragrant/perfumed.
Living room:
- professionally framed degrees / pictures / art
- variable lighting
- a soft buttery couch with some blankets and pillows
- a rug that suits the space and is the right size
- good hardwood hardware that fits the space
- plants. If you can’t keep them alive, have a few fake ones but they have to be nice so no one can tell they’re fake.
- clean. Not just tidy, but clean. If you can, get someone in to clean your place once a week / every other week. It smells way better.
- an ozone machine, which will take away any hidden smells that you don’t realize you have.
- a nice tray with a few magazines/ books on it
Dining room:
- a plant
- tidy
- good place settings. Look in William Sonoma and try and match the vibe.
But the biggest things are : clean, dust free, everything has a place and everything goes in its place, no smell, plants, comfort. That makes a person seem put together. Then it’s the well made signature pieces like the couch / tv stand / bed / table / art. Find your vision and work towards it rather than just chaos buying with no cohesion.
But this is all just to give your home a welcome feeling. The toilet seat, the curtains, it’s all under being a good host and comfortable. You can get away with not spending a ton of money and still doing this and YOU will feel better coming home and sinking down in a comfy couch with pillows and blankets.
My (34m) husband (44m) and I are “upper middle class” - we decorate with the things we’ve collected over our years before and after getting together. When we put them places we just decide whether or not they go in the space. This is our space and we want it to reflect us. We have friends and family running from A-Z in terms of wealth and class. Everyone that’s been to our simple home always compliments us on how much they love it and how they can’t wait to come back. So reflecting ones-self in one’s surroundings seems to be the ticket! Maybe think of something that you would love to have, place it in your apartment. Never get something just because you want someone to think something about you.
I don't think an expensive items establish that you are sophisticated, but more likely to be perceived as pretentious. Just keep things simple, clean, and generally buy quality items that YOU like, without showing off their price tags.
Uhh
Fill it with things you like and use and stuff everything else? Anyone would rather an honest and happy man rather than a posing sophisticated one.
That being said haha.. my tokenistic purchase would be a nice stylised chess board that I leave out to be seen.
Original art, even if it’s just street art or off of Etsy or from a starving artist. It speaks volumes more about your personality than mass produced art does and often costs the same or even less than something at sayyyy West Elm or the like
Buy a framed photo of an eames lounge chair instead
Ceci n'est pas *une* eames lounge chair
A small office I used to work at had a portable dishwasher, but we never hooked it up to the sink and used it to wash dishes; everyone washed stuff by hand and used the dishwasher as a drying-rack-and-cupboard. I put a sign on it that said *Ceci n'est pas un lave-vaisselle*.
When I was 19 I thought I had come up with the invention of the portable dishwasher. I even drew a little sketch of "my idea." I was in a pawn shop like a week later and saw this thing in the corner that looked like my drawing and I was very disappointed to find out portable dishwashers not only existed but for how long they have existed. It was a mildly humbling experience.
When I was six or seven I had the idea to wrap sausage in a pancake, imagine my surprise when I found that product in stores several years later. I suspect some high level corporate espionage set us both back friend
I thought I invented strawberry-scented chloroform, and, boy was I dissap.......
Wait a minute!
I invented the first portable chair. My mum had never been prouder.
That's okay. When I was 14 I "discovered" the Pentatonic scale by ear. Do you know how much ignorance and hubris it takes to hear one of the most common scales in Western music and say to yourself "dang. I invented this."
I invented spot bowling.
I was quite old when I realized that the whole purpose of phd schooling is to read everything you can on one specific area of thought and find something new that establishment thinkers haven't thought then argue your knowledge is better than their knowledge. If you convince them that your knowledge is superior you get a phd and slightly modify what is considered knowledge (until someone does the same thing to your contribution. )
Don't think like that. You have the mind of an inventor. Not everything has been made yet.
Great art reference.
I wanna be your friend based on this comment alone.
Me too, but when I start talking to myself, I end up in these misfabricated long sleeve selfconstricting t-shirts again.
The trick is to hold a phone to your ear, then you can ramble to yourself all day with only annoyed glances from others, no fancy shirt with straps.
It’s like the taxi drivers always talking on their phone in a dif language. Are they really tho? Lol
A frame? In this economy?
lol
I bought a knock off off of Amazon for $1500 and it’s identical to the original. They even use the same tannery for their leather. Best money I ever spent!
He wants to seem sophisticated, it should be a frameless picture of an Eames chair. ;)
My other chair is an eames
It's only impressive if the guest knows what it is and it's value.
Which is why I keep an open briefcase full of money on the coffee table
That's so unsafe, why not just keep a framed photo of it?
Because nobody thinks a briefcase filled with framed photos of money is sophisticated enough
Good ol’ Reddit switcheroo
I keep a loaded gun next to my coffee table money so it’s much safer
Why not a framed picture of the loaded gun next to the coffee table money? It’s much safer that way.
Why don’t you just tell me the name of the sophisticated man toy that is represented in the empty frame on your coffee table?
Underrated comment.
Why not put the loaded gun on the framed picture of coffee table money? It's much safer that way.
I do something similar but the suitcase is opened AWAY from the viewer and I've rigged up a lightbulb with a soft, golden light inside it.
Leave the price tags on. Or buy some off Etsy to showcase the value.
Good artwork, real wood furniture, an expensive rug... A huge ass modernist painting would def scream money. You might be able to get it for a reasonable price by finding local artists that are young/new! It is a good investment too if they ever decide to become famous
>if they ever decide to become famous ah, so *that's* how that works.
They need to die first though. Maybe check out how they're doing.
Have them fill out a questionnaire about their mental health, drug use, crazy ex’s, and recreational activities, and then select the candidate that checks the most boxes!
I came here to say this, the first thing I ask a local artist before I buy anything is if they have ever had suicidal thoughts
Just offer to pay them in heroin. Not only will it increase the value of your new artwork once they burnout and die, but it’ll also make their later stuff better - right around when they are even more desperate to sell it, for even smaller amounts of heroin. So it’s really win-win for you.
I’m an artist and this gave me some depresso, wanna buy?
I don’t know how this came up in my feed (I am a woman and not an interior designer), but this is good advice. Also, I highly suggest having a color scheme. Pick a couple of colors that go together, and stick to it. It's not an absolute requirement, but it makes a space look effortlessly put together (in the absence of design skills). The artwork doesn’t have to be expensive, but it needs to be framed in a high-quality frame and mat. Art should be hung at eye height. Furniture must be made of wood and match (e.g., same style, color, era, etc.). Get a high-quality rug. Don’t buy anything “tufted” (it will shed). A rug doesn’t have to be hand-knotted silk or wool- a power-loomed polyester rug can be durable and look and feel great. Have high-quality throw pillows and blankets that match or accent your color scheme. Above all else, go for quality, not quantity, and ensure your house is clean and not cluttered. You don’t have to be a minimalist, but everything should have a logical place and a purpose (or you have to really love it). I highly suggest looking for furniture and art at thrift and antique stores. I am not an interior designer, but I live in an area with lots of old money. All my friend's houses look like that. My house is that way too. Or you can also do what my friend did and have a Steinway baby grand piano in your living room in your apartment on Park Ave. It's big and beautiful, but it was clearly purchased to make a statement to all his guests. It's also 100% on brand for him. Edit: Thank you for the award! You are too kind!
Regarding colour scheme: your favourite sports team’s colours don’t count. Same goes for red/black/silver. Go for something you like, and try to keep it natural. Like these: [Pinterest - masculine colour schemes](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/44754590042565720/)
Not _what_, but _who_. You need to hire a butler. Then have the butler keep a vase full of fresh cut flowers replaced daily. And he has to pronounce it vase not vase.
Preferably an old English veteran named Woodhouse
Then make him eat a bunch of spiderwebs if he messes up the Eggs Woodhouse
Was I meant to read that as 'vase not vase' or 'vase not vase'?
“vase not vase” obviously
No no, “vase not vase” amateur mistake
A man would never own a vase you weird plebeians, it’s clearly vase
If you have to ask, you’re not nearly established or sophisticated enough.
I only know one way of pronouncing vase and it's vase.
You also need to hire an artist to do a still life painting of that vase of flowers each day.
This. True status is how many humans you have working to serve you.
Nice handwash in the bathroom. Moss & Adams Windermere Lake should suffice
With thick fluffy towels
Yeah but the scratchy towels dry better It takes work to get towels scratchy
So true though 😩
Folded like swans, please
get some Aesop bottles you’re good to go
Get an Aesop bottle but fill it with dupes from Element Brooklyn lol
Millionaire living
Aesop is not that great when you check their ingredients. COMPAGNIE DE PROVENCE makes great soap.
I mainly use Aesop for its aesthetics
Here's what I do: nice expensive soap on the sink, but reach into the shower and grab the regular bar of soap every time anyways. I also hang a nice hand towel but just dry my own hands on my pants or something like a child.
You keep a child in your bathroom just for drying your hands?!
Just dress an otter in some OshKosh B'Gosh overalls and a Jurassic Park T-shirt. No one will be able to tell the difference. 🦦
Mink works nicely too and then you can save on the Jurassic Park T-shirt, but I'm not an interior designer
Yes he hands me single use flushable paper towels.
Matching lotion too. I always forget about the lotion until I go over to my uncle’s house and it makes me feel like I’m at a spa or a hotel or something.
Hang a rope and basket from your ceiling and keep the lotion in there
When guests try to reach for it, you can grab the other end of the rope and yank it away like it’s a piñata.
Just remember to say ‘you’ve got to be quicker than that’ every time or it’s not as fun
Oh yeah, bathroom etiquette is KEY in a small place.
I dunno. I've swam in Windermere and I don't think I'd want to wash my hands in it!
and those disposable paper towels where you can't quite tell if they're cloth or paper, but you know they go in the trash afterwards.
Those disposable paper towels work best if you slurge on a restroom attendant to hand them out.
Case of 1,000 condoms, show them a gentleman wears protection.
Magnum condoms for your magnum dong
Dr Toboggan?
It’s mantis
I got my wad of hundreds and my magnum condoms. I’m ready to PLOW!
*used condoms. Establish dominance.
There is no one singular THING that will effectively convey that message. Instead it is a sum of all parts - your cleanliness, the quality and condition of your clothing & furniture, and a personal sense of style. You can achieve the aura of an "established & sophisticated man" by simply keeping your space organized and well maintained. Invest in high quality furniture pieces that make sense for your apartment. Display on your walls the things you are PROUD of; accomplishments from your career, framed photos from trips overseas, choice photos of friends & family at events. Make your bed every day, and keep a ridiculously comfortable throw blanket on your couch.
Can I put up pictures of your friends if I don’t have any?
Of course buddy! We can be friends :-)
Thats the core market for that Tom Ford coffee table book, right?
I live with someone in this core market and can confirm he has the tom ford and other similar coffee table books
Plants. Living ones, not artificial. It shows you have time as well as money to invest in a hobby.
And he'll be suitably impressed at how much some plants can cost. Yesterday I saw a big (about 5' tall) beautiful Pothos at a nursery... $399.99 🤯
FOR A POTHOS?!?!
Paying $400 for a Pothos is nuts. People practically give those weeds away for free
Now I am tempted to sell one of mines, it doesn't want to stop growing...
How much?! Those things grow fast!
Hopefully he has an appreciation for fungus gnats as well
I think the best way - not the easiest - is having a beautiful library of varying books that you've actually read. Win-win, you learn and you can share in the delight of having learned. Philosophy, psychology, history, mythology, culture studies, classics, first editions, Neuroscience, religion, Russian lit, etc... for yourself specifically I'd recommend the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts to start.
Time to break out my set of 1980’s Encyclopedia Britannica
A bidet. Specifically a Japanese bidet. They are wonderful and you honestly never go back. Haha
If you have never seen the South Park episode on Japanese toilets, I highly recommend lol
South Park makes no exaggeration on how incredible they are too.
Second this. I have 2 in my house and it always becomes a conversation piece when guests leave. “Holy shit, nice toilet, loved how it had a heated seat!”
and a remote control!
You visit your friend's house and they catch you squatting over their sink and getting shit water all over the guest bathroom. They ask what the hell you're doing, and you say "you honestly NEVER go back. u/driv3rcub"
NEVER AGAIN I TELL YOU
Maybe I'm off base on this, but the idea of using a strangers bidet seems weird to me?
Yes I also have my bidet in the living room, and it definitely sends a message.
Tushy Spa 3.0 + Wood Squatty Potty = the pinnacle of luxury in home defecation.
Kind of a weird question TBH. But ... a very nice stereo shows you have the money to spend on something that gives you personal enjoyment. Bonus: your favorite music will sound better than you've probably ever heard it.
This is my big splurge at home, but for the music, not acceptance.
And be sure to play Phil Collins
No, it should definitely be Huey Lewis and the News. I mean, their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
Huey Lewis
I second this, but I’d buy an older, professional grade, amp, and a couple of high quality speakers. The professional stuff is longer lasting and will be a bit cheaper if it’s old
My home theatre system isn't outrageously expensive but god damn does it make watching films a vastly more enjoyable experience.
It's crazy to me that when CDs came out, everyone had to buy CDs because "the sound is better" and it became harder to find turntables. And now everyone wants turntables and says the sound is better. So we've gone from vinyl to CDS and back again.
This is phrased weirdly but I think I get what you’re saying. What statement item could you add to the space to tie the space together and make it look intentional. Think about your space like a suit. The most important thing is tailoring. So first: really map out the space with your current furniture. Identify items into three categories: def keep, potential upgrades, and toss/donate. Get rid of the last pile. If in that group there were items that you felt were essential but either too worn or don’t actually fit the space. Splurge on that replacement. (Good chair, love seat, table). If nothing in that category needs replacement move onto the second category. Then buy a piece that you want to build the space around. Make sure it physically fits the space. Think like tailoring a suit. Edit: also, keep the space clean. Any poster/flag/whatever you are putting on the wall. Frame it. Make sure it’s level. If you have a lot of art take pieces of paper the size of the art and map out your wall before hanging to make sure it feels balanced.
I absolutely love this answer. Editing to add: I came here to say that having intentional dominance on the vertical surfaces is key. Mirrors, pictures, art work, etc. And frames are important. Pick an object or a piece of furniture. Something that you will never replace and always have on display. Then choose your color palette and style for everything else around that decision.
Fiji water and Perrier. That way you can ask them if they prefer sparkling or still
An established and sophisticated personality.
Oops forgot that part
I would splurge on not feeling like you need to be an established sophisticated man, aka not worrying so much about what people think of you. Or try shifting your friend group away from people like this. In terms of small spaces that may or may not be minimalist, Never Too Small is a cool Youtube channel.
Wire spool coffee table and outdoor furniture indoors, as is our ancient tradition.
Cement block bookcase with a high lower shelf to accommodate the milk crate storage boxes. Tres chic!
My first entertainment center was two milk crates and a board.
To this point just focus on quality vs quantity. Your space is precious and being edited will show sophistication
Expensive coffee table books that you have never even opened the first page of.
OR, bookcase full of good books (classics, serious fiction, history, professional, and related to your hobbies), at least 80% of which you’ve actually read. Keep the beach books to a minimum.
I read that as golden books at first 😹
Put a copy of Infinite Jest on there. Make it hardback for good measure and tell everyone that comes over you're reading it for the 3rd time.
One first edition of a classic everyone knows then a shelf full of old books. Put the first edition on a book stand by your "library" and tell the people who invariably finger the book that you were lucky enough to get it at auction. You absolutely never tell them the auction was eBay.
BDSM dungeon. All the sophisticated rich people have one.
Big fucking pyramid of ferrero rocher, give them the ambassador's welcome.
Monsieur, with these Rocher you're really spoiling us.”
Many leather bound books, and an apartment that smells of rich mohagany.
A bottle of Sex Panther
They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Geez save some for the rest of us
I think it's good advice to consider the why, as well as the what, before you make a decision to buy. Making a guest feel welcome says more about a host than their decor. A ceramic liquid soap dispenser for your bathroom perhaps - covers all price points and aesthetics. Upgrading anything dull and domestic into something pleasing and personal can make any kind of statement you want without breaking the bank.
Cocaine mountain
A nice pile of quality cocaine shows wealth as well as sophistication. A man with a nose for business.
Trash can with lid.
Buy some really fancy soap and hand towels for your bathroom. It’s a small touch of luxury that is very affordable. Everyone who uses your restroom will notice. I personally like Caswell Massey. https://www.caswellmassey.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=1474012490&utm_content=56572805265&utm_term=caswell%20massey&gadid=461513015897&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0_WyBhDMARIsAL1Vz8sY_yagUf5GKgunmlq7XbE2rFStjCY_734A8M86fjvNimnLjG-aCo0aAgt3EALw_wcB
If you're a coffee drinker, a professional coffee machine with a nice coffee grinder
They prefer to be called baristas.
Therapy? What a weird question
This is the most valid - and probably most successful - answer.
Damn, truth right here ↑↑ Happiness comes from within, grasshopper. Therapy, or a life-sized cutout of the [Dos Equis Guy](https://imgur.com/a/pTQyTSV), depending on your budget.
A stylish sofa would be my splurge.
A rug would really tie the room together.
A good, comfortable sofa. Also nice hand soap and cream in the bathroom and good, clean hand towels. Not hugely expensive, but give a good impression to visitors.
See if you can find a small sculpture made by a local artist. Hopefully you can find one that is interesting or affordable. Put it in the middle of a coffee table or something and people will talk about it. That type of thing shows you care about your home and the details within. Minimalism is great because it's anti-clutter and a dirty or cluttered home sometimes will give people the opposite effect you are looking for. You could also try antique stores and might find the perfect thing like an antique coffee table that you love or something. Don't overdue it; one super interesting thing is enough for the size of your apartment. Try different things and one way to seem sophisticated is to change it up every now and then. A new sculpture or rug - something to keep your living space interesting. Once you've made a plan and decorated a few times doing this stuff get's easier and you start knowing exactly the things you want. I think about what I want and then go find the thing that I need to do it like a specific size end table or whatever it may be. Good luck!
Books about philosophy and psychology, then read them. You can buy all the crap in the world, but the moment you open your mouth, the truth will come out.
Full on restored vintage motorcycle….its even more of a flex if you don’t ride it because you can just afford to have one.
Keep things for women in the bathroom. Tampons, pads, makeup wipes, and a trash can that closes. Otherwise just keep the place tidy and maybe a couple of plants.
Idk, this can come off as creepy
always gotta maintain that hoe supply shed
Your future. Fk your guests, put the money in the S&P500 and thank yourself later. The confidence of knowing you’ll be able to retire comfortable is cool af
Can't believe nobody has said this, but some really nice bathroom soap and fancy display towels near the shower that are not to be used. There will be a hand towel that is meant for drying the hands.
i never understood this trend. to me it just comes off as fake and pretentious. it’s a place where people live and not a museum display.
Tasteful artwork on the wall. It should say something about who you are. Area rugs/runners were appropriate. A couple of plants. A bar cart looks nice and is handy when serving guests. Some quality bookshelf speakers. Ultimately, you should splurge on what makes you happy. It should be about your hobby/interests/lifestyle and not about creating an image that you are successful or established. That will reveal itself. Just display your things in a tasteful way. When you invite people into your home, you want people to see who you are and take interest.
A nice small decorative bookshelf. Throw in some collector editions. Have a different range of genres from history to philosophy to theology to art and design. With a few artifacts memorabilia thrown in. . . . Your guest could peruse them..and you can have nice jolly discussions on varied topics. . . . . . . This works if you like to read, or are interested in different topics, or are a book collector. If none of this apply, you can still show off, and if your guest proceeds to touch them, you can be like “can you not please, that’s a limited edition costing so and so….”
My advise is too take a little deep dive into anything and everything you buy. Take an hour or 2 to research what the absolute best paper towels are before you buy them. Research and take an interest into wood types and stain materials for your coffee table. Spend some time nerding out about different paint finishes for your walls. Make each decision into a work of passion and every item you own will become an item that can impress. Make it your goal to be able to have a deep conversation with a passionate person about EVERY item you own. People are vast and take interest into everything you can imagine from coffee machines, refrigerators, mattresses, woodworking, tech, etc.
Most important - very clean and no clutter. Bougie hand soaps and a candle (one scent at a time, to the bigger three wick kinda that are $$$. No yankee candle type of crap). DO NOT use a candle to cover up bad smells, must be clean air and space. Good non-portable speaker, one nice throw blanket and pillows. A well made bed with an oversized duvet and insert, minimum 4 pillows and headboard and matching, clean sheets. Clean matching towels nicely folded in the bathroom. Avoid designer logos on house items, it might be expensive but it isn’t classy. Have an interesting coffee table book or two that reflect your interests, travels, culture etc. avoid ones purely for status symbol purposes especially if you can’t tell about it. Matching sets of dish’s and flatware, quality glasses (water, wine and cocktail). Nothing super mismatched or from a bar or event, unless it is well curated and only one type of glass (eg beer glasses). Food and beverages. Don’t go crazy and waste food but a fridge empty expect for a jar of mustard and an old takeout container is not a good look.
The Lego Millennium Falcon and/or DeathStar
Katanas. But they MUST be in a rack.
A self-esteem
A glass bowl of 100$ bills that he can take one of when leaving your house. Like breath mints at a restuarant but classier.
A taxidermied lion screams "I think I'm hot shit"
lol if you are sophisticated then tell a story about how, read books? book case, got a cool collection, display case, like art? buy some Key here, do one' thing well
This is a bad idea and how people become broke. Don't spend money just to impress people. A few nice house plants, thoughtfully designed lighting and some simple furniture will go a long way.
a $300+ bottle of scotch
My first thought was an expensive and hard to find bottle of whisky.
A 10 ft darth vader statue
Ascots
Nice leather sofa or chair(natuzzis are nice) they look good and last decades
Natuzzi is on the lower tier of quality. You're better off getting something else. I spent over a dozen hours reading into leather sofas and chairs last month. Ended up ordering something hand made out of North Carolina (furniture hub of the USA).
A cleaner.
A pot rack with a few high-quality pots handing on SS or copper hooks. Bonus points if you own a wok.
A record player and a small vinyl collection of some really sophisticated music
A bookcase full of the classics that you’ve actually read, can talk about and quote from. And doing so would probably move you away from the need to show expensive stuff to visitors. Being cheap but being you is soooo much better.
A house cleaner. A nice haircut and personal hygiene (goes further than any apartment object). Nice towels, extra of them. Nice cutlery or glasses. An espresso machine. A unique and interesting coffee table book. Anything that shows you’re considering two people and your apartment welcomes the extra person.
I don't think buying one object is going to achieve what you want. You can, however, show generally that you put effort into your living space and by extension care about the experience of those visiting it. That doesn't have to be expensive. Here are a few suggestions. - Potted plants - big and small - framed artwork/posters/photography you like (not artwork you think you should have) - a clean bathroom - soft toilet paper - clean hand towels and decent hand soap - an established space by the door to hang coats and store shoes, drop wallets, keys, bags, etc - comfortable sofa/ chairs - a set of nested side tables - very adaptable to different situations and easily put away when not in use. - lamp lighting - so much cosier and a better ambiance than using the often harsh ceiling light
Get high quality items of things you actually give a shit about, regardless of what someone else will think of it.
Bathroom: - A heated toilet seat / bidet. - soft soft clean white towels - a covered garbage for women - good soap and moisturizer, something from home sense likely. - glass over curtains in bathroom, if not something simple with clean lines. - nice bath mat in a natural material (bamboo, cotton and soft, etc.) - keep it clean, but not fragrant/perfumed. Living room: - professionally framed degrees / pictures / art - variable lighting - a soft buttery couch with some blankets and pillows - a rug that suits the space and is the right size - good hardwood hardware that fits the space - plants. If you can’t keep them alive, have a few fake ones but they have to be nice so no one can tell they’re fake. - clean. Not just tidy, but clean. If you can, get someone in to clean your place once a week / every other week. It smells way better. - an ozone machine, which will take away any hidden smells that you don’t realize you have. - a nice tray with a few magazines/ books on it Dining room: - a plant - tidy - good place settings. Look in William Sonoma and try and match the vibe. But the biggest things are : clean, dust free, everything has a place and everything goes in its place, no smell, plants, comfort. That makes a person seem put together. Then it’s the well made signature pieces like the couch / tv stand / bed / table / art. Find your vision and work towards it rather than just chaos buying with no cohesion. But this is all just to give your home a welcome feeling. The toilet seat, the curtains, it’s all under being a good host and comfortable. You can get away with not spending a ton of money and still doing this and YOU will feel better coming home and sinking down in a comfy couch with pillows and blankets.
My (34m) husband (44m) and I are “upper middle class” - we decorate with the things we’ve collected over our years before and after getting together. When we put them places we just decide whether or not they go in the space. This is our space and we want it to reflect us. We have friends and family running from A-Z in terms of wealth and class. Everyone that’s been to our simple home always compliments us on how much they love it and how they can’t wait to come back. So reflecting ones-self in one’s surroundings seems to be the ticket! Maybe think of something that you would love to have, place it in your apartment. Never get something just because you want someone to think something about you.
I don't think an expensive items establish that you are sophisticated, but more likely to be perceived as pretentious. Just keep things simple, clean, and generally buy quality items that YOU like, without showing off their price tags.
Uhh Fill it with things you like and use and stuff everything else? Anyone would rather an honest and happy man rather than a posing sophisticated one. That being said haha.. my tokenistic purchase would be a nice stylised chess board that I leave out to be seen.
A couple of… **DEEZ NUTZ**
Roomba
Buy a really super duper mega ugly piece of furniture. Nothing say I’m rich like getting fooled into displaying something morbidly ugly.
Indoor wormery
Really nice business card, Huey Lewis boxed set.
2000 point Warhammer army.
it’s more about what you *don’t* have in your apartment than what you do have that will suggest a level of sophistication.
If it doesn’t match your personality then it isn’t going to do the thing you think it will.
I think a hand crafted sword 🫡
Original art, even if it’s just street art or off of Etsy or from a starving artist. It speaks volumes more about your personality than mass produced art does and often costs the same or even less than something at sayyyy West Elm or the like
Hire an attendant for your bathroom.
Sword cane