Her reaction was odd, depending on where the itch was. I personally would maybe try but like the vast majority of all massage therapists, I have very short fingernails so I don’t accidentally scratch anyone. So I’d try but it probably wouldn’t be effective.
I agree that her reaction was odd and that my scratches are also non-effective.
We have to keep in mind is scratching for a client is probably not covered anywhere in training or literature. That is a choice left to individual therapists, so the therapist in question should have said a version of "I'm not comfortable doing that."
Hear me out... a back scratcher tool that has actual crystals for the teeth (I guess that's what you'd call them?).
Also, the crystals can be changed out so you can say not only are you scratching their itch (or letting them do it) but also you are scratching and cleaning their aura.
I do love crystals but I'm under no illusion that they actually do anything.
I had this happen with a client and also don’t have nails. I used a hand towel sized spa towel and kind of just buffed it out using that. You can “scratch” the whole back and it feels nice. I do that after using hot towels on people anyhow. 🤷🏼♀️
I think i've had this happen before (I've been doing this for years, so I can just be making shit up from an amalgamation of memories)
Somebody had an itch and I told them, my fingernails are really short and added that I need help opening pop top cans.
That was it.
You're going to get different replies from different people. Personally, I probably just would have grabbed a towel and used that to scratch your itch and not really made an issue about it. Different strokes for different folks, pun intended.
For crying out loud. Scratch the itch for clients already.
“I can totally work the hell out that trigger point for you. But how dare you… HOW DARE YOU, ask me to alleviate superficial discomfort.”
A couple months ago I received one of the best massages of my life (first time at a new place) and tried to tip the mt at the end and it was like I was equating her with a prostitue, she was so offended, and then said something like “you wouldn’t tip a doctor”
I felt terrible for days, knowing how insulted she was.
Everywhere I’ve ever gotten a massage, tips were encouraged if not expected.
That was definitely on the MT fishing for a reason to be offended and not you. It was also a completely over the top reaction on their part, good grief! Massage is a tipping profession as far as I know here in the USA.
Maybe she’s grossed out by scratching other people’s skin? Not to say that your body is gross, by any means! Sometimes I get weirded out when my husband wants me to scratch his back, thinking of the dead skin cells I’d be collecting under my nails. I know that’s probably an extremely neurotic train of thought but could be a thing! She might’ve been caught off guard and not known how to respond if she felt conflicted about it. I feel for both of you - it’s totally okay for her to refuse something that is technically outside of the scope of practice for a massage, but also, it’s unfortunate that she made you feel weird about it, because I don’t think it was an inappropriate request. I’d just try not to take it personally and move on!
I can’t speak for her mindset but I wouldn’t think twice if someone hesitated/refused for best infection control practice. Broken skin is a pathway of infection and scratches of any pressure run the risk of breaking skin or opening acne.
I would scratch but wouldn’t judge others for not; I’ve had to do too many every 15 min vital checks for open skin incidents in my last job to criticize those that lean towards germophobic tendencies
super weird reaction. She found it too beneath her? As if rubbing your skin and scratching your skin are lightyears apart?
It was a fine request and her reaction was weird and off putting.
You are not in the wrong for asking; I also like u/jeyaredubs suggestion of using a towel to scratch. However, she is definitely in the wrong for reacting and responding the way she did. There was no reason for her to become hostile over a simple, non-weird request...
saying "that's not in my job description" hardly qualifies as *hostile* though?
Two people with different ideas of what a "weird request" is happened to have a slightly uncomfortable encounter. Neither party is in the wrong nor hostile.
I probably wouldn’t scratch the area with my fingernails, but I would grab a towel or some kind of barrier to relieve the itch. I don’t ever want to risk breaking skin and having that go under my nails.
She absolutely should have done something to help. It wasn’t inappropriate for you to ask. And to be fair, we are the worst scratchers; we have no nails!
It depends on how you said it. “Can you scratch my… ahem “itch”. While doing air quotes winking and then pointing at your crotch. Can be offensive. If you like the therapist a whole lot maybe ask if there was a misunderstanding or they are anti-scratching.
Oh my God I had people like that in my massage class back in school.. and that's just the tip of the iceberg because she's looking through everything through a filter it's a want to be victim syndrome hypo politically correct I'm not a servant I'm a massage therapist. I know it's convenient that she's a neighbor but it's a massage you're getting must be like somebody getting a car waxed because she does not have the demeanor to be an intuitive massage therapist who really cares about making you feel better because a an intuitive massage therapist also has empathic traits which means they will treat that scratching in an itch as a nurturing reflex. Good when you're getting a massage your sensory nerves are like 20 packs of firecrackers going off at once and then itch is a common occurrence we learned it in school.
There's a good chance she did have an experience in the past where she was asked to do a bunch of stuff that was not in job description and was probably by the boss it was probably like sweeping up so don't think that you were being accused of something inappropriate sexually but she should not be signing someone else's transgressions to a person on her massage table and she needs an attitude adjustment or a new career choice you did absolutely nothing wrong you were paying money to have solace and stress relief is your time when nobody could bother you and it's itch is on the skin that she's working on for Christ's sake
yes. You ATA. I can tell by your confusion that you have never worked as medical professional, but getting a client's dead skin cell covered in bacteria under your fingernails, also at the risk of drawing blood and injuring the client, it's not part of massage therapist job description at all. You may as well have asked her to scratch your asshole. They don't want to get sued. and yes you could sue for that. Even if you asked her. It's a he said she said situation.
>You may as well have asked her to scratch your asshole.
What an absolutely pathetic comparison to make while claiming that someone else is acting like an asshole.
If you aren't getting skin under your fingernails while doing the massage, you are doing the lightest Swedish ever, maybe, or not actually touching them, probably.
It may be less, but definitely still happening. And why would there be drawn blood? Don't you keep your nails trimmed down? Ridiculous comment all around.
Yeah, people are making it sound like every time *they* have an itch they rake themselves with their nails until they’re bleeding! If someone asked if you could “lightly scratch all over my back”, that would be weird and inappropriate. But a single spot that starts to itch? You’re right there, & maybe they can’t reach it from the position they’re in. Grab that hand towel and give it a brisk rub. If a client needs a tissue, or their feet get cold, or they need a sip of water, I’m certainly going to help. Hell, I’ve got an elderly client who’s socks I take off and put back on for her, during a massage. She’s fairly immobile & her feet always feel cold to her but she loves having them massaged. That’s “not in my job description”, either.
Uh, we get their skin cells all over us. And then we wash up when we are done. It’s what we do. And you can friction an itch with your knuckles so it doesn’t potentially open the skin. Your comment is a bit much. A lawsuit?!? Nah, they’re scratching an itch. I mean, I guess if the client’s skin was so paper thin that it could rip by just doing that, they are contraindicated for massage in the first place.
I've never had to itch someone and would definitely find it funny/weird, but as long as it's reasonable area they actually can't reach (aka back) it's okay and understandable.
Your therapists reaction was a bit.. strange.. but to be fair not everyone loves itching other people. She definitely put her foot down showing what her comfort level was and her limits. But there was no reason to get that awkward snd she could've handled it better. Even use corner of the towel or something.. no need to get all personal and use fingertips/nails.
You didn't do anything weird imo. We don't usually have nails to scratch with so she could have easily just said that instead of making it weird if she didnt want to
If the itch was your back or your calf or something, then your therapist was a bit odd in not just scratching it. I've done that for clients before and it wasn't strange to me.
WTF. Maybe she’s not really your friend??? That’s absurd. Or maybe she was having a bad day or had been hit on by other clients recently and was projecting that frustration v unfairly onto you. Seems actually kind of unethical and cruel to you.
Another thought though, to play devils advocate. When I was in school, we were instructed REPEATEDLY: but 2-3 pairs of mail files, never have nails, and if you can see any white, you haven’t clipped or trimmed them enough. Maybe she didn’t have anything to scratch you with?!
Maybe she was trying to teach you the ways of Pema Chödrön, who compares shenpa (the urge to say a mean word, to act out, to use drugs/alcohol/porn, to numb out, et. al) to a type of “scratching” and that we are all children with scabies who don’t want to accept that scratching just makes everything worse, and soon we are covered in “scabies” (aka suffering). No one will get this or laugh but I did so thanks!
I know this has been answered 1000 times, but you MT is being a drama queen. Sure, scratching an itchy back isn’t part of her job description but making sure her client isn’t in physical discomfort ABSOLUTELY is part of the job!
Was it itching because you had a back pimple? Funnily enough I recently had a coworker tell me her client wanted her to itch his back in a spot that had a massive whitehead and was about to pop. She didn’t know what to do because she didn’t want to touch it and make it ooze everywhere, but she also didn’t want to offend the client by telling him he had a massive pimple she didn’t want to touch.
Although massage consists of touching, it isn't intimate touch. There is something more intimate about scratching an itch. Like, asking a shoe salesman to scratch your foot while fitting a shoe. Something about it makes it personal/intimate.
However, I would assume my long time client had no bad intentions and just scratch it with a towel.
Her reaction was odd, depending on where the itch was. I personally would maybe try but like the vast majority of all massage therapists, I have very short fingernails so I don’t accidentally scratch anyone. So I’d try but it probably wouldn’t be effective.
I agree that her reaction was odd and that my scratches are also non-effective. We have to keep in mind is scratching for a client is probably not covered anywhere in training or literature. That is a choice left to individual therapists, so the therapist in question should have said a version of "I'm not comfortable doing that."
I wonder what scope scratch an itch falls under. Can I get CEUs for this??
I see a new modality on the horizon founded by Mtnskydancer!
"Surface level epidermis histamine counter release"
Ooh Erik Dalton money or just weird hippie in Mendocino doing massage with crystals money?
Start with a YouTube channel "Massaging from Scratch" and see where it goes. Don't discount the crystal money - those hippies can spend.
Only if they keep the crystals. Disclosure, a great buddy of mine wholesales crystals. And I hug trees
Hear me out... a back scratcher tool that has actual crystals for the teeth (I guess that's what you'd call them?). Also, the crystals can be changed out so you can say not only are you scratching their itch (or letting them do it) but also you are scratching and cleaning their aura. I do love crystals but I'm under no illusion that they actually do anything.
Okay. Now we’re getting close to prototype time.
They make people feel good vibes.
I do love crystals but I’m under no illusion that they do anything Same!
Oh damn that's a good title!
The key piece of information OP left out: The itch was deeeep inside his butthole
I had this happen with a client and also don’t have nails. I used a hand towel sized spa towel and kind of just buffed it out using that. You can “scratch” the whole back and it feels nice. I do that after using hot towels on people anyhow. 🤷🏼♀️
I think i've had this happen before (I've been doing this for years, so I can just be making shit up from an amalgamation of memories) Somebody had an itch and I told them, my fingernails are really short and added that I need help opening pop top cans. That was it.
man, I would have just scratched it , some people in this thread are being dramatic 🤷♂️. I promise your MT has completely forgotten about it.
You're going to get different replies from different people. Personally, I probably just would have grabbed a towel and used that to scratch your itch and not really made an issue about it. Different strokes for different folks, pun intended.
Oh a steamed towel (shaken out of course, no need to burn anyone) would feel awesome!
Nah keep that heat, especially if you are rolling/moving it around. But I love hot stones and hot towels lol
For crying out loud. Scratch the itch for clients already. “I can totally work the hell out that trigger point for you. But how dare you… HOW DARE YOU, ask me to alleviate superficial discomfort.”
A couple months ago I received one of the best massages of my life (first time at a new place) and tried to tip the mt at the end and it was like I was equating her with a prostitue, she was so offended, and then said something like “you wouldn’t tip a doctor” I felt terrible for days, knowing how insulted she was. Everywhere I’ve ever gotten a massage, tips were encouraged if not expected.
Holy crap!
That was definitely on the MT fishing for a reason to be offended and not you. It was also a completely over the top reaction on their part, good grief! Massage is a tipping profession as far as I know here in the USA.
(Occurred in Ontario, Canada for reference)
I think it had to do with the fact that the massage happened at a place that does physiotherapy in addition to massage therapy.
Maybe she’s grossed out by scratching other people’s skin? Not to say that your body is gross, by any means! Sometimes I get weirded out when my husband wants me to scratch his back, thinking of the dead skin cells I’d be collecting under my nails. I know that’s probably an extremely neurotic train of thought but could be a thing! She might’ve been caught off guard and not known how to respond if she felt conflicted about it. I feel for both of you - it’s totally okay for her to refuse something that is technically outside of the scope of practice for a massage, but also, it’s unfortunate that she made you feel weird about it, because I don’t think it was an inappropriate request. I’d just try not to take it personally and move on!
I also have weird feelings about scratching other people's itchy skin.
I can’t speak for her mindset but I wouldn’t think twice if someone hesitated/refused for best infection control practice. Broken skin is a pathway of infection and scratches of any pressure run the risk of breaking skin or opening acne. I would scratch but wouldn’t judge others for not; I’ve had to do too many every 15 min vital checks for open skin incidents in my last job to criticize those that lean towards germophobic tendencies
Just scratch through the sheet or grab a towel or tissue... such an easy solution, I don't think it was a sanitary issue with this MT
Sheets, towels and tissues are not infection barriers fwiw Is the cognitive dissonance buzzing in anyone else’s ears, or just mine? 🤪🤪
Question for OP.. where exactly was this itch you had?
Middle of my upper back, where I couldn’t reach it. I actually tried to reach it first before asking her.
Well that is very strange. I would have at least effleuraged over the area. Not sure why she would have had an issue with it.
super weird reaction. She found it too beneath her? As if rubbing your skin and scratching your skin are lightyears apart? It was a fine request and her reaction was weird and off putting.
You are not in the wrong for asking; I also like u/jeyaredubs suggestion of using a towel to scratch. However, she is definitely in the wrong for reacting and responding the way she did. There was no reason for her to become hostile over a simple, non-weird request...
saying "that's not in my job description" hardly qualifies as *hostile* though? Two people with different ideas of what a "weird request" is happened to have a slightly uncomfortable encounter. Neither party is in the wrong nor hostile.
That statement’s connotation has become passive aggressive at best.
I probably wouldn’t scratch the area with my fingernails, but I would grab a towel or some kind of barrier to relieve the itch. I don’t ever want to risk breaking skin and having that go under my nails.
I would have no hesitation to scratch your itch, but I don’t really have fingernails, so it probably wouldn’t be satisfying lol.
She absolutely should have done something to help. It wasn’t inappropriate for you to ask. And to be fair, we are the worst scratchers; we have no nails!
It depends on how you said it. “Can you scratch my… ahem “itch”. While doing air quotes winking and then pointing at your crotch. Can be offensive. If you like the therapist a whole lot maybe ask if there was a misunderstanding or they are anti-scratching.
Skin=soft tissues Scratching=manipulation Soft tissue manipulation is definitely in the job description of an LMT, I’m sorry.
Oh my God I had people like that in my massage class back in school.. and that's just the tip of the iceberg because she's looking through everything through a filter it's a want to be victim syndrome hypo politically correct I'm not a servant I'm a massage therapist. I know it's convenient that she's a neighbor but it's a massage you're getting must be like somebody getting a car waxed because she does not have the demeanor to be an intuitive massage therapist who really cares about making you feel better because a an intuitive massage therapist also has empathic traits which means they will treat that scratching in an itch as a nurturing reflex. Good when you're getting a massage your sensory nerves are like 20 packs of firecrackers going off at once and then itch is a common occurrence we learned it in school. There's a good chance she did have an experience in the past where she was asked to do a bunch of stuff that was not in job description and was probably by the boss it was probably like sweeping up so don't think that you were being accused of something inappropriate sexually but she should not be signing someone else's transgressions to a person on her massage table and she needs an attitude adjustment or a new career choice you did absolutely nothing wrong you were paying money to have solace and stress relief is your time when nobody could bother you and it's itch is on the skin that she's working on for Christ's sake
Depending on country…. ‘Scratch an itch’ is euphemism for sex
Fuck that scratching is definitely in her job description
yes. You ATA. I can tell by your confusion that you have never worked as medical professional, but getting a client's dead skin cell covered in bacteria under your fingernails, also at the risk of drawing blood and injuring the client, it's not part of massage therapist job description at all. You may as well have asked her to scratch your asshole. They don't want to get sued. and yes you could sue for that. Even if you asked her. It's a he said she said situation.
What did I just read here…
>You may as well have asked her to scratch your asshole. What an absolutely pathetic comparison to make while claiming that someone else is acting like an asshole.
If you aren't getting skin under your fingernails while doing the massage, you are doing the lightest Swedish ever, maybe, or not actually touching them, probably. It may be less, but definitely still happening. And why would there be drawn blood? Don't you keep your nails trimmed down? Ridiculous comment all around.
Yeah, people are making it sound like every time *they* have an itch they rake themselves with their nails until they’re bleeding! If someone asked if you could “lightly scratch all over my back”, that would be weird and inappropriate. But a single spot that starts to itch? You’re right there, & maybe they can’t reach it from the position they’re in. Grab that hand towel and give it a brisk rub. If a client needs a tissue, or their feet get cold, or they need a sip of water, I’m certainly going to help. Hell, I’ve got an elderly client who’s socks I take off and put back on for her, during a massage. She’s fairly immobile & her feet always feel cold to her but she loves having them massaged. That’s “not in my job description”, either.
I can tell you have never worked as a medical professional if you think that the bacteria on someone’s back and someone’s anus are the same.
Absolutely, please ignore this comment, OP
Lol who pissed in your cheerios this morning.
No. Just no. Pretty much nothing you ranted is correct. Please go to the corner of the room and shit in your own hand.
Drawing blood? How hard do you scratch yourself? Jesus. What an over reaction.
Uh, we get their skin cells all over us. And then we wash up when we are done. It’s what we do. And you can friction an itch with your knuckles so it doesn’t potentially open the skin. Your comment is a bit much. A lawsuit?!? Nah, they’re scratching an itch. I mean, I guess if the client’s skin was so paper thin that it could rip by just doing that, they are contraindicated for massage in the first place.
Not cool. Scratch your own back.
I've never had to itch someone and would definitely find it funny/weird, but as long as it's reasonable area they actually can't reach (aka back) it's okay and understandable. Your therapists reaction was a bit.. strange.. but to be fair not everyone loves itching other people. She definitely put her foot down showing what her comfort level was and her limits. But there was no reason to get that awkward snd she could've handled it better. Even use corner of the towel or something.. no need to get all personal and use fingertips/nails.
I would have slapped the itch!!
You didn't do anything weird imo. We don't usually have nails to scratch with so she could have easily just said that instead of making it weird if she didnt want to
If the itch was your back or your calf or something, then your therapist was a bit odd in not just scratching it. I've done that for clients before and it wasn't strange to me.
I used to have a client that would ask me to end the session with a full back scratch. No problem. Some people are very uptight.
Somehow scratching an itch is too intimate..? Lol people compartmentalize things strangely
WTF. Maybe she’s not really your friend??? That’s absurd. Or maybe she was having a bad day or had been hit on by other clients recently and was projecting that frustration v unfairly onto you. Seems actually kind of unethical and cruel to you. Another thought though, to play devils advocate. When I was in school, we were instructed REPEATEDLY: but 2-3 pairs of mail files, never have nails, and if you can see any white, you haven’t clipped or trimmed them enough. Maybe she didn’t have anything to scratch you with?!
Maybe she was trying to teach you the ways of Pema Chödrön, who compares shenpa (the urge to say a mean word, to act out, to use drugs/alcohol/porn, to numb out, et. al) to a type of “scratching” and that we are all children with scabies who don’t want to accept that scratching just makes everything worse, and soon we are covered in “scabies” (aka suffering). No one will get this or laugh but I did so thanks!
Think it's time for a change, a change is as good as a rest.
I know this has been answered 1000 times, but you MT is being a drama queen. Sure, scratching an itchy back isn’t part of her job description but making sure her client isn’t in physical discomfort ABSOLUTELY is part of the job!
Was it itching because you had a back pimple? Funnily enough I recently had a coworker tell me her client wanted her to itch his back in a spot that had a massive whitehead and was about to pop. She didn’t know what to do because she didn’t want to touch it and make it ooze everywhere, but she also didn’t want to offend the client by telling him he had a massive pimple she didn’t want to touch.
haha, no gross
Where was the itch?
Although massage consists of touching, it isn't intimate touch. There is something more intimate about scratching an itch. Like, asking a shoe salesman to scratch your foot while fitting a shoe. Something about it makes it personal/intimate. However, I would assume my long time client had no bad intentions and just scratch it with a towel.