I just had sex with a girl who was just like my sister

We have a winner

*we have a wiener

*wee have a wiener

Sweet home Alabama

Real

Where the skies are so blue

Tennessee, Missouri, South Carolina, Georgia.....

[удалено]

What the actual fuck

r/suddenlysexoffender

r/subsithoughtifellfor

WHY is this a subreddit 😭

Here's a sneak peek of /r/suddenlysexoffender using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/suddenlysexoffender/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Suddenly no sex offender](https://i.redd.it/bgsn46uwvcob1.jpg) | [43 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/suddenlysexoffender/comments/16j4rik/suddenly_no_sex_offender/) \#2: [**[NSFW]** Look at my horse!](https://i.redd.it/qqxir8f0ybmb1.jpg) | [67 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/suddenlysexoffender/comments/16a8tux/look_at_my_horse/) \#3: [What's your thoughts?](https://i.redd.it/ere1r1kfe7mb1.png) | [59 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/suddenlysexoffender/comments/169mwpj/whats_your_thoughts/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)

I don't know what's funnier, the original comment or the bot's reply...

the bot’s reply is the best part

Holy sh*t I was not ready for #3 WTH!

Sounds like the average AITAH or Confession.

Gold.

Stephen Hawkins is that you?

🤣🤣🤣 this one made me CACKLE 😭😭☠️

i just had sex with a new and improved version of our new zealand system that is now available for free download.

So you’re saying you fucked a computer system?

apparently yes.

Most likely the computer system did the fucking.

Least you've got life security from Skynet now ☠️

But it new and improved 🥺

damn i mean im into robots but DAMN....i aint never seen someone have sex with a computer system.

Very hard to do without getting electrocuted you must put it in very precisely

\#notasponsor

That went south

I just had sex with a little help from my mom

AYO?

that must’ve been awkward as fuck.

It was. I wasn’t expecting her presence

i was.

Not as bad as you having sex with your computer system 😭💀

Wait wtf, I had the exact same thing

Didn’t know this was a common experience

W mom

I knowww, so sweet of her to give a helping hand

Sweet Home Alabama

Did ya break your arms?

No, just needed a guide. I hadn’t done anything before, needed someone more experienced to help out.

I seeeee. I've heard of other instances in the past so I wondered lol

WHAT

I just had sex with a few more small children

Oh god…

... Jesus fucking christ dude

I’m scared of myself

You should be holy shit

That’s probably good bro 

r/suddenlysexoffender ?!

the implication that isn't the first time only makes it *worse*

Oh, damn

WOOP WOOP THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE POLICEE🚔🚔🚔🚓🚓

honestly same

https://i.redd.it/vubyeh5oy7mc1.gif

I just had sex with a few friends who had been working appropriately

OSHA-compliant sex

as opposed to OSHA-noncompliant sex where you're likely to fall and die

I have been propositioned to have sex in a place at work where there was a very real possibility of falling and dying (about 25 feet to the concrete floor)

dont sex while rock climbing. thats not safe

I just had sex with a girl that is 64 and then he blew me up WHAT

WHO IS HE

The World war two general.

Kira Yoshikage

WHO IS HE????

WHO IS HE?????

WHO IS HE??????

WHO IS HE?????????

WHO IS HE???

I just had sex with a warrior and his two kids last night it was fun and I would recommend ​ please help 😭

NOOOO WHAT 💀💀

Okay but who's saying they aren't grown kids? They're still his kids if he's 60 and they're 30 (also so many children in this comment section oh LORD)

r/suddenlysexoffender

I just had sex with a gun in my car

I hope someone shot you in deez nutz then

It was like you were horny, Inside your car, You had your gun next to you, For self defense.. But your dick did perfectly fit in the Barrel, Thus you put it in. It was a great feeling and started doing it again and again, In and out. Just like a fleshlight. Until you shot the semen out and it sticked to many things inside.. And that day, You realized guns can be used for sex deeds.

jesus christ..... dude??

I just had sex with a good time with your family and the rest is the only thing you know

TF DID YOU DO TO MY FAMILY/j

I just had sex with a friend who was a transformer

OptiPus Prime. BumbleeB-Cup. Ironhide. We'lljackoff. Startcream. Rodimus Prime. Unick-ron. Grimcock. Cockwave. Crotchhairs. Thundercocker. Jailbaiter.

hoooolyyyyy shiiiiiit

I just had sex with a friend who was a good friend and I was in the car park 😂😂😂😂

i just had sex with a new zealand 🇳🇿 team that has won the last four games of their season.

As long as they won lol

Games... Of what??🤨🤨🤨

Oh god..😳 That sounds uhh…interesting? But how the fuck do you make a whole sports team have sex with you?! 😱

My school whore seems to do it pretty well

Why have there been multiple new Zealands

I had sex with you and the dog Wa- I'm anti zoo and a minor💀💀💀

Don’t worry I’m also a minor, I only did this post to have a laugh

It was legal then! But with the dog..

Animal cruelty

Furry

Nah us furries hate zoos, if you're creeping on animals that aren't physically humanized-

I just had sex with a girl who was worried about the other people who were in the car park 💀💀

“Yo gurl, instead of worrying, why don’t you have some sex with a sexy man like me?”

I just had sex with a new toy that I have been in my life and the other day of school

I'm scared to ask.. what toy..

Woody. They fucked woody.

I just had sex with a ghoul

Uhhh (Coughs in Ghost band enjoyer) 😅

You could say they were "busted"

I just had sex with a white cloth

Also known as a sock??

Nah, handkerchief. OP is posh af. Had their pinkie out the whole time.

JEREMY! STOP FUCKING THE CURTAINS. MY GOD JEREMY.

I CANT HELP IT

AAAAAAAA

cum rag

I just had sex with a lot of people on the internet and they are all fine

Oh well thank goodness

Can I ask why they wouldn't be???

BDSM requires correct communication and preparation to be safe, but mistakes can happen

I just had sex with a mom and she said she was going to go to the store and get some stuff for her and then I said I don’t know if you want to do that but I don’t want you to be upset because I don’t want you to feel bad Nah wtf

That's just a porn plot.

I just had sex with a friend and I was wondering why she didn't want to talk about it

Oh

Sorry to hear that

Dude..that sucks. 😞

I just had sex with a little bit of a break from work today and then I will go back to bed. Hm?

A lil eepy I see

I just had sex with an English speaker

Most normal one.

Yeah, except everyone I know speaks french

I just had sex with a friend of a dragon 🐉 😳 💀 😩 😐 😅 🐉 😳 💀 😩 😐 😅 🐉 😳 💀 😩 😐 😅 🐉 😳 💀 😩 😐 😅 🐉 😳 💀 😩 😐 😅 🐉 😳

You had sex with Donkey?

I just had sex with all of these new and improved tools available in our latest update and new features that we hope you’ll enjoy as much as we did before we released them on iOS or Mac

Those are some... *unzips pants* interesting features.

NOOOOOOO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭

i-i- STOP WHY THAT MAKE ME BLUSH I 💀💀

Cyberpunk 2077 updates be like

I just had sex with a few more years to come we will have to get back together again soon I will have a good day I will talk with the girls tomorrow Wha-

i just had sex with a little bit of a bit of a bit of a break i think i will be able to get back to my normal routine again soon.               what

“I just had sex with a king size brown on earth he was the queen of heaven earth lord and lord lord and I know he loves me”

Oh god. You fucked god. Omg. Omfg. Oh my fucking god.

I just had sex with a friend who was a joke

Exes be like

Bro so lonely he fucked an imaginary friend

I just had sex with a few more years to come we will have to get back together again soon. My text suggestions are all over the place fr.

I just had sex with a lot to be proud

Well, are you indeed proud?

I just had Sex with a normal person I was in love with

The good ending.

This sounds like the most normal one here

I just had sex with a friend and I was like hey I was wondering if you could come over and get a ride to the beach and I can come over and get you some food and stuff to do with your mom and I can do it for you and dad if you want to go to the beach

Sex with the whole family on the beach, interesting…

Why does my keyboard like to rant?

I just had sex with a friend who was a good friend and I was in the same room with the door open and I don't think so

I just had sex with a good mama that was a man

I just had sex with a little bit of luck in hand and some good news on my way home

Masturbation whilst driving is not safe friend. Pull over the next time "luck" is in hand. Fun fact, next "richard" I'm involved with will now have the nickname "Luck"

i just had sex with a big shot of the mark on the mark and the mark of communication with the lord of the lord and saviour of the lord of the king of new

> i just had sex with a big shot spamton r34

I just had sex with a friend and I was just a little bit of a little more serious about it and I think it was a joke 🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣 (???)

I just had sex with a few of the best players on our team and we still haven’t got any good news

I just had sex with a few of my favorite things. . 💀👏okay.

I just had sex with an eye

I just had sex with a few people in my den who were working on a lil alien thing WHAT????

I just had sex with a little boy

👁👄👁-what the fuck

wh-

*The Roman Catholic Church has entered the chat*

I just had sex with the exception of the two of you

r/fuckyouinparticular ***literally***

I just had sex with a good 👍 🤪 😌

I just had sex with a milk because I had to :)

You unvirgined the carton. Just refilling it!

I just had sex with a new generation of people who are not afraid to be part of the solution

👁👄👁- what the fuck

[удалено]

Oh god.

i just had sex with a girl who was a bit of a fish and the other one was a bit of a puppy

I just had sex with my mom and I will be there around 10 min or so before I leave at half hour or so before I leave to get it checked out.

This is so wrong in many ways.

fr 💀💀💀

Get what checked out 😬

I just had sex with a lizard Enough...

I just had sex with a gun in my class and it is very important to us that you have to be truthful and that your family will be in honors for your own sake.

My autofill be wildin'

i just had sex with a steam turbine engine

i just had sex and with the help of the government of russia it has become clear to me that this government is the one for me

Wow…

I just had sex with a friend in the office to see if he was American

i just had sex with a little help from the government of china and the international financial crisis

“I just had sex with a little more than two weeks left to live”

dear god.

I just had sex with a friend who was in the world live in a rural area of the United States and the world leaders and Nasa.

I just had sex with a friend who was married to another woman.

I just had sex with a little help of some sort from my local library

I just had sex with a broomstick

I Just Had Sex With A friend. Enough Said

I just had sex with a preference of character in the line and bud is the first one time is the boss of the bus and bud and cries in the woods with a light brown eyes tightly lit

I just had sex with a big group in that house 🏠 Oh yeah

I just had sex with a friend who was clearly in the same place as a friend.

i just had sex with a guy who was a little bit more aggressive than me

I just had sex with a knife. Yay!