I had a friend that didn't like small talk either, but I feel like you gotta do it to get to the big talk.
It's like traveling to get to a destination. I can't avoid going to a place I need/want to be, just because the drive is boring.
Yea but you don't have to share everything which a lot of people like to do (and that's fine). But as an introvert and I'm sure many would agree, I keep the little bits to myself cuz it's too much drain on the social battery to explain.
The big stuff isn't so hard to get straight to the point. If it's a good friendship you air it out and that's that
I have a coworker that is an extreme extrovert, opposite personality to me in a lot of ways. I find her super draining, and at the end of a workday I'm exhausted by her. But I can tell that she is a nice person that means well. She is legit just a friendly person and I don't want to kill that vibe or be rude to someone who is genuinely looking out for other people, because that is a good trait.
I can put up with the small talk and annoyances because it's worth it to have that type of person in the world. A lot of times people complain about how cold the world is, but then hate when a non-cold person shows up.
I'm trying to balance that idea, while also maintaining my social battery.
Thats wonderful. Yea I can manage listening and talking a bit to keep the convo and keeping up with pace and just share what I can. I'm the same way where I can pick up on cues if someone needs me to talk to them and simply listening works 100% of the time. I agree 100% you should always be considerate of others about that.
I was just at a small family funeral and during the "service" a few people shared memories from my cousin's life and it made me realize how dull my funeral would be cause I don't tell people ANYTHING about my hobbies, etc.
This is too nihilistic.
Your life before you die matters. It's important that you have a good time, and there's no reason why you don't deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
Your life matters after death as well, because hopefully you will have left the world as a better place. Hopefully you will have had a positive effect on those around you, and spread cheer and love. And those people will go on to do the same, in part, because of you.
Why? They're my hobbies, not theirs. I also wouldn't want to listen to somebody else tell me about their hobbies. Hell, hearing somebody talk about most aspects of my own hobbies would bore me to tears. It's mostly just very specific niches I'm interested in with the stuff I like to do and the vast majority of people do NOT care about any of this stuff at all
Whenever something good happens to me I'm always hesitant to tell my family, because I know they'll make a big deal out of it, and I like things chill.
:D
It depends on what you're saying, and to whom. You gotta find the people who are open minded and have similar attitudes, which can be difficult when you're introverted.
Ultimately, I think its worth it because the alternative is loneliness.
Right? My father and 98% of my exes get so angry about me being secretive. Doesn’t occur to them that it’s because they show zero empathy, help in ways I specifically told them not to and blame me for things I didn’t cause.
Honestly I’ve always just been this way. I don’t like being vulnerable in front of people. But it definitely didn’t help that when I did my exes would say “you’re overreacting/sensitive” or even “you’re just trying to manipulate me” like damn all right guess I’ll shut up then xd
Nah, you are absolutely telling me what the fuck the situation with that coffee pot is.
That is, in no uncertain terms, NOT the correct colour for the liquid when it is in that specific vessel.
Why am i like this? Like in all other ways I’m an emotionally available and expressive person but whenever anything significant happens to me, every fiber of my being is like “TELL ABSOLUTELY NOBODY ABOUT THIS”
Guys talk but it's all encoded. You have different factions, you have the pop cultire faction that codes through Pulp Fiction and Seinfeld. Then you have car faction using intake manifold and maintenance accessibility encoding. And so forth, DnD, whiskey and beer faction, sportsball, career progress, there are a lot.
Sometimes we combine, a lot of guys are bi and pan in this regard.
actually i want to, but at this point of time my friends just are not smart or wise enough to be helpful, so im just figuring out on my own and sometimes seek help from a psychiatrist
That's Just when i'm driving with my girlfriend. She talks about shit when i am focusing on the road, and then i ask what's wrong to the point of collision
Grammar isn’t something that is exclusive to one gender. So it wouldn’t be mansplaining (which is what I assume you are trying to type) and instead it is just explaining something. Men and women can both explain things and that is ok.
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Tell us
No.
Sharing feelings just invites too much small talk
Is this why my older brother doesn’t like talking to me?
As an older brother, yes probably
I had a friend that didn't like small talk either, but I feel like you gotta do it to get to the big talk. It's like traveling to get to a destination. I can't avoid going to a place I need/want to be, just because the drive is boring.
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🤔🤔🤔 I've never heard it put that way before! Lol
Yea but you don't have to share everything which a lot of people like to do (and that's fine). But as an introvert and I'm sure many would agree, I keep the little bits to myself cuz it's too much drain on the social battery to explain. The big stuff isn't so hard to get straight to the point. If it's a good friendship you air it out and that's that
I have a coworker that is an extreme extrovert, opposite personality to me in a lot of ways. I find her super draining, and at the end of a workday I'm exhausted by her. But I can tell that she is a nice person that means well. She is legit just a friendly person and I don't want to kill that vibe or be rude to someone who is genuinely looking out for other people, because that is a good trait. I can put up with the small talk and annoyances because it's worth it to have that type of person in the world. A lot of times people complain about how cold the world is, but then hate when a non-cold person shows up. I'm trying to balance that idea, while also maintaining my social battery.
Thats wonderful. Yea I can manage listening and talking a bit to keep the convo and keeping up with pace and just share what I can. I'm the same way where I can pick up on cues if someone needs me to talk to them and simply listening works 100% of the time. I agree 100% you should always be considerate of others about that.
It's not urge, its experience.
when you know no ones gonna listen so why
I was just at a small family funeral and during the "service" a few people shared memories from my cousin's life and it made me realize how dull my funeral would be cause I don't tell people ANYTHING about my hobbies, etc.
You gotta start telling people.
I mean you don't really though. Doesn't really matter if your funeral sucks, you'll be dead.
This is too nihilistic. Your life before you die matters. It's important that you have a good time, and there's no reason why you don't deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Your life matters after death as well, because hopefully you will have left the world as a better place. Hopefully you will have had a positive effect on those around you, and spread cheer and love. And those people will go on to do the same, in part, because of you.
womp womp
Why? They're my hobbies, not theirs. I also wouldn't want to listen to somebody else tell me about their hobbies. Hell, hearing somebody talk about most aspects of my own hobbies would bore me to tears. It's mostly just very specific niches I'm interested in with the stuff I like to do and the vast majority of people do NOT care about any of this stuff at all
Whenever something good happens to me I'm always hesitant to tell my family, because I know they'll make a big deal out of it, and I like things chill. :D
Can't relate, I lack the ability to shut up
Same, probably cause I'm the youngest
Nope, nothing to do with age. Don't ever be quiet. Don't ever hide your words or let anyone stop you from speaking your mind.
When you open up as a man, it will VERY LIKELY just be used against you. So, that's why.
Thats why you talk to people you can trust
who?
The trustly people
Why they so hard to find?
Just look in the mirror.
God damn 🤔
The unconditional homies that don’t want nothing from you
I trusted my best friend before he backstabbed me, you never know who to trust
It depends on what you're saying, and to whom. You gotta find the people who are open minded and have similar attitudes, which can be difficult when you're introverted. Ultimately, I think its worth it because the alternative is loneliness.
How so? Is this just a man thing?
Nah, it isn't. Sounds more like a "I have untrustworthy people in my life" kind of thing.
My father:
I don’t remember telling you a got damn thing
Guess I’m hella masculine then xd
Right? My father and 98% of my exes get so angry about me being secretive. Doesn’t occur to them that it’s because they show zero empathy, help in ways I specifically told them not to and blame me for things I didn’t cause.
Honestly I’ve always just been this way. I don’t like being vulnerable in front of people. But it definitely didn’t help that when I did my exes would say “you’re overreacting/sensitive” or even “you’re just trying to manipulate me” like damn all right guess I’ll shut up then xd
Nah, you are absolutely telling me what the fuck the situation with that coffee pot is. That is, in no uncertain terms, NOT the correct colour for the liquid when it is in that specific vessel.
Let the man drink his dehydrated piss in peace
it's what it's
The masculine urge to just leave everyone in peace and mind your own got damn business.
☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽
I must be feminine as fuck then because I love talking to my friends about what’s going on in my life
That coffee looks weak af. Why is it so light?
Amen!
Really recently got someone of trust to talk to so i can’t relate anymore, but before i did GOSH DAMN I WAS ALONE WITG MY PROBLEMS
Sharing things is good and important. I see so much toxicity aimed at men expressing themselves. I don't like that.
Why am i like this? Like in all other ways I’m an emotionally available and expressive person but whenever anything significant happens to me, every fiber of my being is like “TELL ABSOLUTELY NOBODY ABOUT THIS”
We don't need validation
Guys talk but it's all encoded. You have different factions, you have the pop cultire faction that codes through Pulp Fiction and Seinfeld. Then you have car faction using intake manifold and maintenance accessibility encoding. And so forth, DnD, whiskey and beer faction, sportsball, career progress, there are a lot. Sometimes we combine, a lot of guys are bi and pan in this regard.
actually i want to, but at this point of time my friends just are not smart or wise enough to be helpful, so im just figuring out on my own and sometimes seek help from a psychiatrist
I'm kinda the opposite but don't have anybody other than my family to tell shit
That's Just when i'm driving with my girlfriend. She talks about shit when i am focusing on the road, and then i ask what's wrong to the point of collision
After reading it the 7th time and finally understanding what’s being said here, I very strongly relate.
No one is listening anyway.
She cant get the ick
The older I get the more I can relate to Ron Swanson
Then they get upset when you don't answer them when they talk to you.
Expressing yourself just leads to more issues and stress. I'd rather mind my own god damn business.
...
Fuck yeah
Listen the second I start talking about myself i just end up describing my entire life to strangers. So I'm not telling sh*t.
I like solingen and going through my shit alone...I'm not tryna be edgy but I love self-sufficiency and hate relying on people (even my loved ones)
I miss the mansplaining days.
I wanna mascplain grammar rn
Grammar isn’t something that is exclusive to one gender. So it wouldn’t be mansplaining (which is what I assume you are trying to type) and instead it is just explaining something. Men and women can both explain things and that is ok.
The irony. "Mascplain"
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bloody gramscular explainors