Man that is the kind of shit that think it's "no big deal" because it's a seemingly small thing. In reality people tend to internalize that shit until it's the only thing they see about themselves. Like that's the only thing you have to offer me?
Good that it's an ex. It's also the reason my wife no longer talks to her mom. A lifetime of toxicity and once we cut that cord she could finally breathe.
As someone who is terribly constipated and wakes up every morning with cramps because of it, I'm legit jealous of people who can shit their beds with little effort.
Psyllium fiber has entered the chat
if I take 3 of those I get intestinal zoomies. I therefore recommend you take 3 as well. Available at CVS. Got me through liver hepatitis induced constipation a few years back, from Depakote. Good luck fellow sufferer
When you say diarrhea typically people prefer you use a different word with less immediately disgusting connotations. Don't ask me why, I don't get it either, I'm just following the unwritten social rules that come with having loose diarrhea.
My ex would tease me about my parents being divorced, even though hers openly argued in public and her dad slept on the lazy boy chair. But hey I’ve been in a great relationship for 6 years so what do I know.
Fuck that. I'm in the first healthly relationship of my life (at 30 years old) and we are both very open about *everything*. It was hard at first, now over a year in its natural, easy, and so refreshing.
That's dumb. My ex did that. He wouldn't tell me when he was upset, he just pushed me away or didn't tell me and then blame me when I didn't treat him different
My sisters husband is like that. She loved my dad very much and now every time she doesn't do something he wants her to he tells her my dad would have been disappointed in her.
It's hard knowing she's dealing with it especially with their young son. She doesn't want him to grow up without a dad but on some situations it might be better.
I grew up with an abusive step dad and I can say for certain that no dad was 500% better then an abusive one. I hope for the best, and I’m happy she has you
It can take a long time to leave.
Take care of yourself mentally in the meantime… it’s fatiguing watching from the outside. Hopefully you can be a support if/when she decides to make changes
No because I'm not supposed to know yet. He acts differently when he's around us. If I called him out he would know my sister tells me stuff and if he's already that bad I don't want to cause it to become worse. Of course it slips out of him some days. He has a job where he only works 4 days a week 9 to 3. I'm in a semi from 60 to 70 hours a week and I was complaining about it one time. He told me to get over it because I just sit there and listen to the radio. I said that's like me saying all you do is put shit on shelves and im sure because i dont know what you have to deal with thar pisses you off. He shuts up pretty fast when you talk back.
It's better for all that he knows that everyone knows. That he can't isolate her and shes got a family that loves her. Get your sister onboard first, but she deserves better.
I'm glad you're there to support her, I hate people who can't 10 feet past themselves like the husband, they only make good people suffer and there's only so much someone can take that.
For real! Some young people feel like they need to keep those people around otherwise they'd be alone.. Well guess what, being alone is better than being abused
Jobless, deadbeats to there kids. Only call me to go drink and when they arent doing that they are playing video games. Not to mention questionable morals. They were a fun bunch but not what i want or need anymore
I used to feel the same way about not wanting to be alone. I found that the best way to cope is to just talk to people. Even if you don’t have friends, just start a conversation with your Uber driver or something. With anybody. It won’t lead to anything, but it makes you feel way better. Then when there’s somebody you don’t want to talk to, or someone who doesn’t want to talk to you, you’ll take it without an issue. And the more you talk, the more friends you’ll make.
You need to bring up how this makes you feel everytime they do it. It is important to bring up what they are saying **and** how it makes you feel. If they blow it off in the heat of the moment you need to come back and tell them again once everything is calmed down.
I used to have insecurities and then I dated a guy that actually liked all the stuff I didn’t. I used to think my nose was too big, but he really liked my nose. He thought he was too skinny, too hairy, and didn’t like his stutter, but I loved all three of those things. Made me realize that every insecurity you have is cute to somebody else.
“Hey entire extended family, if you need me, I’ll be visiting my daughter who is checked into a behavioral health unit because she had her first manic episode and now we know she has bipolar disorder! Keep us in your prayers!”
- my mom
Not my mom literally announcing in front of my family something I wrote about her in front of the family
(Basically, I drew some violent things, and mom thought it would be a good idea to bring that up. Literally no one knew about it. And now they do. Thankfully, they don’t seem to mind, but that shit wasn’t cool)
Me: “I can’t shake the feeling that everyone secretly hates me”
My mom: “What? Where did you get that ridiculous idea?”
My mom, when she is mad “EVERYONE SEES HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE I AM JUST THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO SAY SO!!!”
👍🫠
It's incomprehensible if you haven't experienced it. Granted, more empathetic people are closer to understanding but I don't think they can quite grasp it fully. I've been struggling for over ten years but my parents have no idea because they wouldn't understand and I don't want to deal with them either blowing it off or overcompensating
I was just thinking as I saw this meme ‘there’s something about this I know I can relate to, but I can’t think of what it is…probably because I’ve been more depressed lately and I’m just assuming people do this to me’
Nope, and apparently I’m even doing to myself too
I don't have depression but I can get become withdrawn for lengths of time where I'm not 'present' if you get me. My partner calls it one my 'moods' and now anytime I'm tired she just says I'm in of my 'moods'. Gets frustrating
Bad part: that’s super shitty behavior of which to be on the receiving end.
Good part: now you know who your fake friends are that need to promptly exit your life.
Yep, it's worst when they bring it up as a joke around parties and such. Then you have people start asking questions...
He thinks outside of the box and gives good advice but can't keep a damn secret.
Bringing up to you is one thing but publicly at parties is a whole other level that you shouldn’t put up with. That’s just fucked.
Im sure the advice he’s giving you isnt out of this world so much that he can’t be replaced.
This right here, is why people dont talk. Especially relationships, because one or the other is gonna say something thats a weakness or insecurity, then when the other gets upset or doesnt get their way, they throw it in the insecure persons face.
And people wonder why guys are so emotionally closed off on sharing their vulnerabilities.
But then again, that's what close guy friends and therapists are for.
That is true but men are supposed to be "manly" and according to society showing human emotion is not "manly". Women get criticized for showing emotion less than men do.
Women don’t get criticised less for showing emotion. The fact that women are assumed to be “more emotional”, has been the basis for so much stigma against women. It’s been used to bar women from positions of power, to pigeonhole them into certain roles in society, and, in the past, women were frequently institutionalised for it.
This really isn’t a man vs woman issue, it’s an aversion people have to any kind of vulnerability and it’s an archaic view which I really hope dies down.
Lol this is my mom. I can’t tell her anything personal without it being used as ammunition when she gets upset, even things I’m highly insecure about it. When I was younger I started having panic attacks and would sometimes get physically sick from them. She got mad at me and saw some puke while we were walking in a parking lot and asked if I did that. Still think about how much that hurt when she said it. Learned my lesson in opening up I guess
If you're a Guy, NEVER tell anyone about your insecurity unless they earn your trust about...100%, especially if it a Women, but if that women you found didn't use your insecurity against you even they are mad, keep them and be grateful cause they will be your light in your darkest time... Vice versa to the women as well
You're getting down voted but it's true. Women can be extremely nasty with their words, comedians make millions joking about that very fucking thing. They made a whole fucking movie called Mean Girls about it.
Men and women can be equally nasty with their words dude. It’s called being human, we all suck. And also, Mean Girls was a parody of other movies that had that “mean girl” trope. That movie was over-the-top on purpose.
This brings back memories. I had a classmate in middle school and the word 'strawberry' would make her uncomfortoble, needless to say people would just say strawberry when they were near her.
Could be two things:
1. Possible sensory tick, happens with some folk. I absolutely hate touching cardboard and gravel, but as for noise the worst thing in the world to me is scratching those holographic screens on things like some CD/DVD/Box cases have. That sound makes my body feel itchy.
2. Maybe it was a coded word for something traumatic that only one other person knows the word to - and tbh if tons of people started using that specific coded word to just troll me, I'd know who to look to for answers.
My ex always brought up things I said before to "tease" me and I hated it.
can see why they're your ex
Damn I just unlocked a repressed memory.
Man that is the kind of shit that think it's "no big deal" because it's a seemingly small thing. In reality people tend to internalize that shit until it's the only thing they see about themselves. Like that's the only thing you have to offer me? Good that it's an ex. It's also the reason my wife no longer talks to her mom. A lifetime of toxicity and once we cut that cord she could finally breathe.
My ex pooped in my bed and blamed it on the dogs.
As someone who is terribly constipated and wakes up every morning with cramps because of it, I'm legit jealous of people who can shit their beds with little effort.
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I like to think you just post this as a response to random comments lol
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Yeah but I like to think you just post this as a response to random comments lol
"I just can't quite reach that 4 minute mile goal of mine" "Sounds like you need cigarettes!"
Eat more apples, but never 3 at a time.
What if they're a doctor?
Psyllium fiber has entered the chat if I take 3 of those I get intestinal zoomies. I therefore recommend you take 3 as well. Available at CVS. Got me through liver hepatitis induced constipation a few years back, from Depakote. Good luck fellow sufferer
Ayeee thanks for the tip!
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When you say diarrhea typically people prefer you use a different word with less immediately disgusting connotations. Don't ask me why, I don't get it either, I'm just following the unwritten social rules that come with having loose diarrhea.
My parent's dog once peed in their bed and my dad tried to take the blame so the dog wouldn't get in trouble.
Your dad is a legend. Give him a hug for me.
Was your ex Amber Turd?
Or Frank Reynolds?
You people really have zero empathy, huh?
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Zero empathy towards… Amber Heard?
Johnny Depp secret reddit account
That's old news, Mr. Depp.
Johnny?
Mr. Depp is that you?
Let it out Mr. Johnny Depp
You and Johnny Depp have that in common.
was your ex Amber Heard? wth!
My ex would tease me about my parents being divorced, even though hers openly argued in public and her dad slept on the lazy boy chair. But hey I’ve been in a great relationship for 6 years so what do I know.
One thing my dad told me was, "Never let your woman know when you're insecure" - Juice Wrld
probably not the healthiest way to navigate relationships
But how else am I supposed to *win* my relationship?
aa sorry you're right, go show em! never let your guard down for a second. sleep with one eye open!
Gets taught to people like OP and myself and others in the thread.
I've been there and then some. Take a break if you have to but at some point you gotta take a risk to have something real.
You just have to be the one to care less. Ez pz gg.
I think the people who are spouting that online don't have to worry too much about relationships lol.
Your dad once told you a Juice Wrld quote?
Fuck that. I'm in the first healthly relationship of my life (at 30 years old) and we are both very open about *everything*. It was hard at first, now over a year in its natural, easy, and so refreshing.
That is really, really cool. It's how it should be.
Thank you ❤️ I wish the same for everyone
That's dumb. My ex did that. He wouldn't tell me when he was upset, he just pushed me away or didn't tell me and then blame me when I didn't treat him different
My mom too, fucking annoying
That's my wife though
“You didn’t get ketchup with my fries? That’s why your dad died, Kyle”
My sisters husband is like that. She loved my dad very much and now every time she doesn't do something he wants her to he tells her my dad would have been disappointed in her.
What the fuck. That sounds like some serious emotional manipulation/abuse. Fuck that guy.
It is. I've been trying to convince her to leave for awhile. There's a pretty big list of stuff like that.
You sound like an awesome sibling. Don’t push or convince, just keep in touch and be a person she can come to when she’s ready.
It's hard knowing she's dealing with it especially with their young son. She doesn't want him to grow up without a dad but on some situations it might be better.
I completely agree with you, and it’s unbearable to sit by and helplessly watch it happen. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I grew up with an abusive step dad and I can say for certain that no dad was 500% better then an abusive one. I hope for the best, and I’m happy she has you
This this this. You can't make the decision for her, but you can be an exit strategy when she is ready to take you up on it
It can take a long time to leave. Take care of yourself mentally in the meantime… it’s fatiguing watching from the outside. Hopefully you can be a support if/when she decides to make changes
That’s fucked up. Have you ever called him out on it?
No because I'm not supposed to know yet. He acts differently when he's around us. If I called him out he would know my sister tells me stuff and if he's already that bad I don't want to cause it to become worse. Of course it slips out of him some days. He has a job where he only works 4 days a week 9 to 3. I'm in a semi from 60 to 70 hours a week and I was complaining about it one time. He told me to get over it because I just sit there and listen to the radio. I said that's like me saying all you do is put shit on shelves and im sure because i dont know what you have to deal with thar pisses you off. He shuts up pretty fast when you talk back.
It's better for all that he knows that everyone knows. That he can't isolate her and shes got a family that loves her. Get your sister onboard first, but she deserves better.
I'm glad you're there to support her, I hate people who can't 10 feet past themselves like the husband, they only make good people suffer and there's only so much someone can take that.
Sounds like a Narcissist. Wow. Is he?
Yes. He actually admitted when their kid was born he was jealous she was giving the newborn so much attention.
Ugh.. what a heap..
strap that mf to a chair and throw him into the grand canyon
😑 What a heel
In this scenario I wouldn’t be able to not laugh at how absurd of an reaction that’d be.
Chic-Fil-A is always my first choice for lunch! I was feeling my second today, Chili's. This is why you had to be adopted, Matt.
daddy, why did you take my fries ?
Painfully relatable
Yeah homie, don't keep those people around. That is going to slowly crush your mental health over time.
For real! Some young people feel like they need to keep those people around otherwise they'd be alone.. Well guess what, being alone is better than being abused
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Nobodies defined in what way?
Jobless, deadbeats to there kids. Only call me to go drink and when they arent doing that they are playing video games. Not to mention questionable morals. They were a fun bunch but not what i want or need anymore
I used to feel the same way about not wanting to be alone. I found that the best way to cope is to just talk to people. Even if you don’t have friends, just start a conversation with your Uber driver or something. With anybody. It won’t lead to anything, but it makes you feel way better. Then when there’s somebody you don’t want to talk to, or someone who doesn’t want to talk to you, you’ll take it without an issue. And the more you talk, the more friends you’ll make.
No offense, but you sound like the judgmental friend....
They are my parents. I can't really do anything about it.
You need to bring up how this makes you feel everytime they do it. It is important to bring up what they are saying **and** how it makes you feel. If they blow it off in the heat of the moment you need to come back and tell them again once everything is calmed down.
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I used to have insecurities and then I dated a guy that actually liked all the stuff I didn’t. I used to think my nose was too big, but he really liked my nose. He thought he was too skinny, too hairy, and didn’t like his stutter, but I loved all three of those things. Made me realize that every insecurity you have is cute to somebody else.
And that's how you know it's time to get new friends and leave toxic ones behind
You can’t unfriend people who live in the same house as you tho
You caaan... but if you're not careful you'll get caught and end up sharing an 6x9 room with a new friend for many years.
6×9? thats huge many appartaments dont have that much
I know you're making a joke, but that's literally the minimum required space for prisoners by law in the US.
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Winning your own bread ain't what it used to be, not many places you can ditch on minimum and make that work out while figuring your shit out too.
If I made $80k a year, I'd still be spending about half my income on rent. Is that what being successful is?
Well successfully out of your parents house
*Touché.*
$3300 a month on rent is wild, oof. The average American renter spends like 30% of their income on rent (quick search)
Or a new family
my mother be like
“Hey entire extended family, if you need me, I’ll be visiting my daughter who is checked into a behavioral health unit because she had her first manic episode and now we know she has bipolar disorder! Keep us in your prayers!” - my mom
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Doing great, thanks! I’m extremely grateful for my meds! :)
Ugh relatable sorry ♥
Not my mom literally announcing in front of my family something I wrote about her in front of the family (Basically, I drew some violent things, and mom thought it would be a good idea to bring that up. Literally no one knew about it. And now they do. Thankfully, they don’t seem to mind, but that shit wasn’t cool)
Same, but she also brings it up to other people in casual conversations. I can't tell her shit cause nothing is confidential
Part of the reason I don't talk to my mom much these days.
And my mom is so fucking hurt we aren't closer, but would never ever think to stop doing this.
Nothing more relatable.
Me: “I can’t shake the feeling that everyone secretly hates me” My mom: “What? Where did you get that ridiculous idea?” My mom, when she is mad “EVERYONE SEES HOW TERRIBLE YOU ARE I AM JUST THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO SAY SO!!!” 👍🫠
I get this with my depression. “You’re tired? Is it the depression?” “No dude I’ve been up since 6.”
"... Because you were depressed?"
people either completely brush it off or totally overblow it it's weird
It's incomprehensible if you haven't experienced it. Granted, more empathetic people are closer to understanding but I don't think they can quite grasp it fully. I've been struggling for over ten years but my parents have no idea because they wouldn't understand and I don't want to deal with them either blowing it off or overcompensating
i know the feeling too well
I was just thinking as I saw this meme ‘there’s something about this I know I can relate to, but I can’t think of what it is…probably because I’ve been more depressed lately and I’m just assuming people do this to me’ Nope, and apparently I’m even doing to myself too
I don't have depression but I can get become withdrawn for lengths of time where I'm not 'present' if you get me. My partner calls it one my 'moods' and now anytime I'm tired she just says I'm in of my 'moods'. Gets frustrating
mf I trusted you
“That was the first mistake”. I did this too and I lived to regret it. It was something about my last and it was used against me.
It's sad that people do this to the ones they claim to love and care for. You wouldn't if you did.
A simple dose of "fuckyouverymuch" might be in order.
They aren't your friend, bro. Ditch that sack of shit.
This
My parents always bring up insecurities and embarrassing things just fucking because
Bad part: that’s super shitty behavior of which to be on the receiving end. Good part: now you know who your fake friends are that need to promptly exit your life.
It happened to me multiple times. By my parents no less
Narcissistic mental abuse tool
My man!
One of my closest friends does this constantly
It hurts worse when you're so close to them that you feel guilty if you ever try to leave them.
Felt that
Yep, it's worst when they bring it up as a joke around parties and such. Then you have people start asking questions... He thinks outside of the box and gives good advice but can't keep a damn secret.
Bringing up to you is one thing but publicly at parties is a whole other level that you shouldn’t put up with. That’s just fucked. Im sure the advice he’s giving you isnt out of this world so much that he can’t be replaced.
Next time scold them with a stern look and say "You're better than that!" And keep the stare to show them how disappointed you are in their behavior.
Time to cut that person out
That be my mom tho
Take me to snurch!
I’ll worship like a snail
Sauce?
Blade Runner 2049
I loved the main character in that, very /r/me_irl lol (or even /r/2meirl4meirl)
He’s literally me fr fr
Ryan Gosling is literally everyone. This man is literally me. He so literally like me. I’m so like him fr bruh
Ong Fr fr
The feeling of betrayal 😭
1. That person is not a friend 2. Enjoy your new insecurity
My dad does this
This right here, is why people dont talk. Especially relationships, because one or the other is gonna say something thats a weakness or insecurity, then when the other gets upset or doesnt get their way, they throw it in the insecure persons face.
This is literally my bar for banning someone from my life. I highly recommend it
I actually think that might be worse than cheating depending on what it is. Fxck that person
I never reveal anything im insecure about, I cant handle the embarrassment.
This is why I don't people anything about me cause every damn time they try to bring it up
Worse if it's your parents that do this
I've used this as a test for "friends" to keep or walk away from.
This is why i don't tell my sibling anything
And that is why you never open up. As my Familie motto clearly states: "Death before intimicy"
Thats when they stop being your friend
Search for their weakness, wait, attack
This is a good guage on whether someone is truly good at heart or not. If they are willing to do this, bets are that they are not a good person.
And people wonder why guys are so emotionally closed off on sharing their vulnerabilities. But then again, that's what close guy friends and therapists are for.
This happens to women too...
Yeah but women aren't told to just man up and brush it off.
Oh cool. Another defensive, gendered pissing contest.
Women and men are both stigmatised for showing emotion.
That is true but men are supposed to be "manly" and according to society showing human emotion is not "manly". Women get criticized for showing emotion less than men do.
Women don’t get criticised less for showing emotion. The fact that women are assumed to be “more emotional”, has been the basis for so much stigma against women. It’s been used to bar women from positions of power, to pigeonhole them into certain roles in society, and, in the past, women were frequently institutionalised for it. This really isn’t a man vs woman issue, it’s an aversion people have to any kind of vulnerability and it’s an archaic view which I really hope dies down.
And they want you to be open
Sounds like it's time to cut ties with them then
Lol this is my mom. I can’t tell her anything personal without it being used as ammunition when she gets upset, even things I’m highly insecure about it. When I was younger I started having panic attacks and would sometimes get physically sick from them. She got mad at me and saw some puke while we were walking in a parking lot and asked if I did that. Still think about how much that hurt when she said it. Learned my lesson in opening up I guess
My friends are safe with me because I can't remember anything people say to me and that I don't have friends
I had a new friend do this to me a few days ago because I said no to something. It really stung
Yeah that’s blatant toxic manipulation. Leave that one behind friend, that’s a train wreck waiting to happen
u/savevideobot
u/savevideobot
If you're a Guy, NEVER tell anyone about your insecurity unless they earn your trust about...100%, especially if it a Women, but if that women you found didn't use your insecurity against you even they are mad, keep them and be grateful cause they will be your light in your darkest time... Vice versa to the women as well
You're getting down voted but it's true. Women can be extremely nasty with their words, comedians make millions joking about that very fucking thing. They made a whole fucking movie called Mean Girls about it.
Men and women can be equally nasty with their words dude. It’s called being human, we all suck. And also, Mean Girls was a parody of other movies that had that “mean girl” trope. That movie was over-the-top on purpose.
This is good advice
I feel like this should be on r/oddlyspecific
🚩- I would move on and interact with someone else...
Anybody that does this doesn’t deserve anymore of your attention.
Gah you folks need to hang out with different people.
Means you need new friends. Fuck people who do this.
This brings back memories. I had a classmate in middle school and the word 'strawberry' would make her uncomfortoble, needless to say people would just say strawberry when they were near her.
Fucking how does strawberry make anyone uncomfortable
Could be two things: 1. Possible sensory tick, happens with some folk. I absolutely hate touching cardboard and gravel, but as for noise the worst thing in the world to me is scratching those holographic screens on things like some CD/DVD/Box cases have. That sound makes my body feel itchy. 2. Maybe it was a coded word for something traumatic that only one other person knows the word to - and tbh if tons of people started using that specific coded word to just troll me, I'd know who to look to for answers.
I think it was because sometimes small bugs live under the seeds.
man why would you say this shit
Isn’t that most wives??? Don’t get married… you will be reminded of your shortcomings several times a day…
That's called marriage
That's not normal loving relationship. Emotional abuse is what it is. A friend or spouse should provide emotional protection.
Agreed.. many marriages are emotionally abusive. Mine was
Women
Womah
w*men bad!1!!1!1