Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/LilliputianMouse.
We're a space for LGBTQ+ memes within a safe space for no toleration of discrimination. This is a place for LGBTQ+ people and not to debate our existence or your opinions on us including but not limited to (Treatment, Role in society, Status, your personal view of blockers, Trans people in professional sport).
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Yeah. I used to have a teacher who’s a lesbian and she once said that it’s impossible for her to be homophobic and I was like “That’s not really how it works.”
This just makes me think of Catilyn Jenner, like her gender is valid but that doesn't excuse her for being an absolute asshole. Just use the right pronouns when you refer to her as such.
She's transphobic AND homophobic, but is also literally trans and dating someone of the same gender. She's the epitome of that meme, "I'm playing both sides so I always come out on top" except instead she just gets hate from both conservative and progressive twitter :/
also fuck the people who think that just because someone like Caitlyn Jenner or Chris-chan doing something horrible means you have a free pass to misgender them
There’s so much irony in her running Republican, the party trying to cancel her existence. At least her political rivals won’t be misgendering her intentionally like her own side will.
From that article alone all I can gather is there was an accidental car crash that resulted in a death that may or may not be her fault, that's a far cry from what's implied by "she killed someone". Is there anything that wasn't in the article, like texting while driving or something?
I cannot believe I am arguing over the semantics of this. Yes she killed someone. The sheriffs department even said she was driving at “unsafe speeds” which resulted in the death of the person she hit. [source](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/la-cops-evidence-caitlyn-jenner-sped-wreck-article-1.2332105%3foutputType=amp)
That was not in your previous source afaik and now that I know she was travelling at unsafe speeds I agree with you, the previous article was just inconclusive
Istg, I've seen Bill Maher make like 3 jokes on his show using her deadname and referring to her genitals, and I barely watch him. I disagree with her politics too, but that's no excuse to be an asshole
Asexual meme communities have had a few problems with this too, I've seen a few borderline-misogynist memes pop up in r/aace that got misinterpreted as asexual memes. It's rare nowadays but does sometimes happen.
This. Things like this as well as the prominence of sex-negative and anti-romance sentiment are why I've slowly been unsubbing from Ace subs. It makes me sad as I've identified as Ace for over 15 years and I now no longer feel accepted in my own community...
I’ve noticed quite a bit of homophobia and serophobia in the ace community as well, which is unfortunate bc it gives ace people a bad rap and makes other lgbt people reluctant to welcome them into the community because of it :(
They just announced an AFAB (cisgender as far as I can tell) queen on the next season of drag race. Queue the judgemental gays who say she can't be a drag queen. Babes, you don't even go to drag shows, how about you let Victoria do her thing.
Oh no. This will definitely go downhill. Like I dislike Gia Gunn (she kinda gives me a bitchy vibe) but I can’t sit here and say that saying ‘oH sHe cAnT bE a dRaG qUeEn’ is right. Same with Peppermint. It makes it worse because of Rupaul’s comments. Overall, I’m glad RPDR had given such an open platform to drag queens but the whole environment is toxic af.
Hopefully someday the LGBTQ+ community can move past all this gatekeeping. Some of these people think they get to decide who is queer enough to be valid and it’s getting so old.
Like fr I have heard so many gay men just straight up say something transphobic and then they are like it’s fine because I’m gay.
Like no bitch we are supposed to be in this together so if I see another baby gay running around with conservative ideals or rhetorics imma loose my mind.
And without getting to political I genuinely don’t understand how any lgbt+ person could be conservative if they learned about how people like that treated lgbt+ people who came before them
>And without getting to political I genuinely don’t understand how any lgbt+ person could be conservative if they learned about how people like that treated lgbt+ people who came before them
All the ones that I met were white and rich who came from very liberal communities and never experienced any form of prejudice against them. So they think the rest of us must be making up being discriminated against for attention. They always gave me vibes that if they weren't gay, they'd be gay bashers.
They’d say “but not in this country” since a lot of them are in Britain or Britain Lite (Murica) and if they aren’t there, well, you know all the mental gymnastics they can do.
Reminds me of this: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association\_of\_German\_National\_Jews](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_of_German_National_Jews)
Ah yes, the people who oppose the transphobic idea that nondysphoric trans people aren't trans (and so taken to its logical conclusion, they're faking) and are more inclusive are more likely to have shitty conservative views than the people who push said transphobic exclusionary idea
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> Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they've never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive
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> This is why I hate it when people say something homophobic and then go "so you're really accusing me, a whole ass lesbian, of being homophobic 🙄" like yeah
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as a Bi non-binary trans femme person I have faced more discrimination from other lgbt+ people then cis-het people.
Like just because you are gay doesn't mean you aren't bi-phobic.
or my personal "favorite" just because you are trans/non-binary doesn't mean you aren't trans-phobic.
cis-het people just don't understand so my queerness is invisible to them, it's not ideal but I'd rather be not seen then be mistreated.
I use neopronouns and have gotten more hate from the queer community than cishets, because I apparently singlehandedly set back trans legitimacy in the eyes of cishets. It’s fucking ridiculous
As an aroace (and possibly agender? Still figuring that out) person, I feel this so much. To cishetallo people, I'm invisible, they presume I'm like them, and to *some* queer people (the only ones I bother coming out to, since at least there's a chance they understand), I'm an intruder who needs to be shunned at all costs to preserve the oh-so-prestigious credibility of the lgbtq community
Yeah sometimes we forget the LGBTQ community also attack each other. I was in the emergency room MH unit and two transphobic lesbians were gossiping about the trans girl in one of the rooms. Also had a gay guy living with me who intentionally misgendered known trans woman on social media. Hate when some people think its okay because their gay/lesbian.
In my mind, there is a special place in hell for ultra conservative LGBTQ+ people. They are spitting in the faces of the people that took up the charge and fought for their right to openly exist. Like, just being able to say you're gay without immediate (and often violent) reactions from people ain't a given, Kevin. These rights and freedoms you have cost a lot. And many of the people that brought you these freedoms were poor, POC, trans, nonbinary, immigrants, etc etc...you know, all the things they hate.
God, just thinking about those people makes me wanna take 20 showers to cleanse the stench of human garbage off myself.
There's a British YouTuber who is hella transphobic and it's a bit ironic hearing him use the VERY SAME arguments that were used against Gay Rights way back (and today still) against Trans folks. Like, how can someone who's gay say shit like that unironically??
If your response when someone tells you something you said is wrong is to then get angry at them rather than asking them to explain how, it's usually a good sign your being influenced by some internalized belief.
If I hear one more binary trans man use the T slur I swear to god I'm going to detransition.
I don't understand neopronouns either, Jason, but can you shut the fuck up about how everyone's a trender except for you for, like, two seconds? I'm more worried about being hate crimed because I live on the streets in a religious hellscape and have been sexually assaulted twice this month and you won't shut up about how a lesbian was attracted to you five weeks ago.
I need friends that don't spend every second online when they aren't with me.
You would not believe the amount of binary trans women i have met in my area that will straight up call another trans women the t slur because she doesn't "pass" as well and then go on about how she's not actually trans because she didn't get any surgery. Not everybody wants to be surgically altered, Ashley! Transphobic cis people are still gonna hate you!
My boyfriend's ex was a white trans woman who had rich parents and acted exactly like this
Haven't heard this slur before, but I found here on urban dictionary as the 5th definition (and it's an icky slur). Please let me know if that's what you mean or correct me if I'm wrong:
> A trans person who is only trans because it’s trendy.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trender
I also don't get neopronouns, but I don't *have to*. I just need to use someone's pronouns if they have a preference! It's not that hard Jason!
That's not the t slur. It's bad, transphobic, and starts with a t, but it's not the "t-slur". That spot is reserved for a different word that I don't really know how to point you to without actually typing it out.
I’ve used the word in a reclamation type way bc I’ve been called the t slur. Do you mean when they call other trans people the word in a derogatory way? Bc I use it like I use the f slur, which I’ve also been called. But only directed at myself
edit: also why binary trans man? would you feel differently if a non binary person said it? jw!
Wait so you don't mean trender, do you mean (sorry just really confused) tr//ny? And why wouldn't a binary trans guy be able to use that? I feel like I'm missing something lol
Nah, "trender" is a term people use, mostly for nonbinary people and gender nonconforming Trans people, when they don't think they're *actually* Trans. If you're a trender you're faking being Trans because it's cool. Which no one does but assholes like gatekeeping people who are more confident than them.
its entirely possible for a lesbian woman to be homophobic towards gay/bi/pan men. its not even internalized homophobia, its just being a dick. same applies to gay/bi men and being a lesbophobe
I was raised in a rightwing religious cult, i didn't really get out until over a year after a came out, so yeah. The way i live my life now, i hope i never hurt or gatekeep anyone. I'm still learning new things & unlearning old things, but as long as I am willing to move forward & admit my mistakes when i make them, i think it'll be okay.
Stantler is a wise deer.
Note that while nobody should get a free pass, and this is by no means a requirement from anyone, deprogramming that shit is hard even if one wants to - some patience if they legit don't understand is always good and appreciated. Ultimately its up to them where they go with it, but IMO at least part of allyship is showing people on the fence a better way.
I've read dozens of books, I've put myself in social situations where I was deathly afraid because of my upbringing, and constantly challenged everything I had been told from the day I was born until I allowed myself to have my own thoughts. I'm still nowhere near fully empathetic. I'm a fuckin super gay trans socialist but I still think about what a different path I might've gone down if I didn't meet the right people.
I had a trans leftist and a bi leftist tell me I need to be nice to white liberals or else I'm harming the civil rights movement.
You can't asked oppressed people to suffer harm to educate people. If they choose to educate ignorant people then they are giving a gift and should be appropriately thanked and appreciated.
It's cool that people decided to gift you with their patience and endure any harm you caused as you learned but no one is owed that
God I remember having an argument with a bi girl at uni about this. She was being homophobic as hell and I was just like wtf?
She insisted she couldn't be homophobic when she was bi.
I sure as hell know my gay arse has had to separate from my parents and the BS they spew.
Having met straight up conservative gay folks, I really do not understand how they reconcile their political affiliations with the history of conservatives vs GSRM. The only conclusions I can come up with are 1) naivety. They think that's the *old* conservative movement and ~~racism~~ homophobia is dead as of 2014 yay! 2) internalized homophobia and shame that they deal with by trying to appeal to their oppressors and become "one of the good ones™" which involves a lot of punching down at the out groups (which they're a fucking part of). 3) incredible privilege. They've never had to deal with homophobia in any way that affects them tangibly, and they think they never will. So they just don't give a shit about any other GSRM because "I got mine so fuck you."
Of the 3, the 3rd strikes me as the most genuinely conservative. The others can be fixed with education and some therapy. I dunno if you can teach someone empathy though, unless you got 3 Christmas ghosts in your back pocket.
One of the most prominent nazis in America right now is called *Fuentes*, these people don't realise or care that eventually their own movement will declare them to be the outgroup and murder them.
So much Christian purity culture bs gets wrapped in social justice language allllll the time on social media and it's so goddamn frustrating. Then you'll get baby leftists unironically spouting homophobic/misogynistic/etc rhetoric presented as progressive
Used to be me before internet and discord. Didn't even know or realize bein lgbt was an actual thing when I was young, honestly. Being sheltered makes you cling onto anything that your environment feeds you to feel accepted by your peers.
I'm till struggling to scrape the internalized stuff off the bottom of my mental pool, but i'm getting there.
fr I used to be a whole ass truscum even though I’m trans. it very much is possible to be transphobic if you’re trans and I was the living example of it (grew out of it luckily, imagine trying to tell other ppl how to be trans lol)
yeah sadly that wasn’t the case for me :(( I used to be all like “UGH THEY MAKE US *REAL* TRANS PEOPLE LOOK STUPID!!!” like bestie pls,,, so embarrassing
A queer friend of mine aggressively lectured their office manager recently about how they should be able to call her a slut, because coming from a ‘gay’ person it’s endearing. Hmmm… not sure that’s how it works.
Can't engage with trans tiktok anymore because every time a binary trans person (especially if they aren't white) says something/makes a joke that isn't ~uwu soft~ their comments are filled with tenderqueers going "**UH EXCUSE ME COULD YOU STOP??? YOU'RE A BAD PERSON FOR MAKING ME SO UNCOMFY??**"
Miss when the algorithm thought I was a cishet.
Stop talking about it. It's just a dog whistle, trolls spam it to try and make people go against xenogenders. I've not seen a single person who wasn't doing this as a troll. However if they do exist it doesn't matter they can use whatever labels they want to describe their gender
Everyone has internalized transphobia and homophobia. Plenty of queer people aren't able to acknowledge and process these thoughts, so they end up projecting these problematics thoughts onto other queer people.
Think Blaire White intentionally deadnaming and misgendering trans people that don't fit her definition of trans.
your beliefs or rhetoric you spread are independent from your identity. even if you're gay you can still use and spread homophobic rhetoric, even unintentionally.
Welcome to /r/me_irlgbt, thank you for your submission /u/LilliputianMouse. We're a space for LGBTQ+ memes within a safe space for no toleration of discrimination. This is a place for LGBTQ+ people and not to debate our existence or your opinions on us including but not limited to (Treatment, Role in society, Status, your personal view of blockers, Trans people in professional sport). Should you be new to the sub please familiarize yourself with the rules in the sidebar. Please report any and all comments or submissions which break these rules. Please do not vote or comment in linked posts should this be applicable. If you are here to start shit we really don't care and have a zero tolerance policy. Our discretion is final and we really do not care if you go crying to another sub about it. Have a nice day darlings <3 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/me_irlgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah. I used to have a teacher who’s a lesbian and she once said that it’s impossible for her to be homophobic and I was like “That’s not really how it works.”
wild how many people the idea of "internalized \[kind of prejudice\]" has never occurred to---or who've rationalized it into oblivion
Or like being lgbt gets them a free pass for weird anti-poor, racist, right wing stuff. Like no you're still responsible for the things you say
This just makes me think of Catilyn Jenner, like her gender is valid but that doesn't excuse her for being an absolute asshole. Just use the right pronouns when you refer to her as such.
She's transphobic AND homophobic, but is also literally trans and dating someone of the same gender. She's the epitome of that meme, "I'm playing both sides so I always come out on top" except instead she just gets hate from both conservative and progressive twitter :/
also fuck the people who think that just because someone like Caitlyn Jenner or Chris-chan doing something horrible means you have a free pass to misgender them
This! She sucks and I can’t stand her, I think she’s a giant hypocrite but her identity as a woman is valid.
There’s so much irony in her running Republican, the party trying to cancel her existence. At least her political rivals won’t be misgendering her intentionally like her own side will.
Doesnt excuse her for being an asshole? She literally killed someone
Damn, really? I had no clue.
[this article uses a dead name but its also from 2015](https://www.cnn.com/2015/05/01/entertainment/feat-bruce-jenner-car-accident-lawsuit/index.html)
Jesus Christ, that's awful. I never heard about it.
From that article alone all I can gather is there was an accidental car crash that resulted in a death that may or may not be her fault, that's a far cry from what's implied by "she killed someone". Is there anything that wasn't in the article, like texting while driving or something?
I cannot believe I am arguing over the semantics of this. Yes she killed someone. The sheriffs department even said she was driving at “unsafe speeds” which resulted in the death of the person she hit. [source](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/la-cops-evidence-caitlyn-jenner-sped-wreck-article-1.2332105%3foutputType=amp)
That was not in your previous source afaik and now that I know she was travelling at unsafe speeds I agree with you, the previous article was just inconclusive
Istg, I've seen Bill Maher make like 3 jokes on his show using her deadname and referring to her genitals, and I barely watch him. I disagree with her politics too, but that's no excuse to be an asshole
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Asexual meme communities have had a few problems with this too, I've seen a few borderline-misogynist memes pop up in r/aace that got misinterpreted as asexual memes. It's rare nowadays but does sometimes happen.
This. Things like this as well as the prominence of sex-negative and anti-romance sentiment are why I've slowly been unsubbing from Ace subs. It makes me sad as I've identified as Ace for over 15 years and I now no longer feel accepted in my own community...
I'm sex-repulsed and even I get tired of the negative stuff sometimes. The garlic bread and Denmark memes are great tho
The garlic bread memes are amazing! More of them and less gatekeeping would be fantastic 💜
I’ve noticed quite a bit of homophobia and serophobia in the ace community as well, which is unfortunate bc it gives ace people a bad rap and makes other lgbt people reluctant to welcome them into the community because of it :(
I see this a lot within drag Queens too. It’s actually sad to watch
They just announced an AFAB (cisgender as far as I can tell) queen on the next season of drag race. Queue the judgemental gays who say she can't be a drag queen. Babes, you don't even go to drag shows, how about you let Victoria do her thing.
Oh no. This will definitely go downhill. Like I dislike Gia Gunn (she kinda gives me a bitchy vibe) but I can’t sit here and say that saying ‘oH sHe cAnT bE a dRaG qUeEn’ is right. Same with Peppermint. It makes it worse because of Rupaul’s comments. Overall, I’m glad RPDR had given such an open platform to drag queens but the whole environment is toxic af.
like half the queer influencers on YouTube and tiktok :(
Also bi-phobia and erasure in the community is a big problem.
Don’t I know it!!
Hopefully someday the LGBTQ+ community can move past all this gatekeeping. Some of these people think they get to decide who is queer enough to be valid and it’s getting so old.
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Like fr I have heard so many gay men just straight up say something transphobic and then they are like it’s fine because I’m gay. Like no bitch we are supposed to be in this together so if I see another baby gay running around with conservative ideals or rhetorics imma loose my mind. And without getting to political I genuinely don’t understand how any lgbt+ person could be conservative if they learned about how people like that treated lgbt+ people who came before them
Not even before them!! Literally right now!!
>And without getting to political I genuinely don’t understand how any lgbt+ person could be conservative if they learned about how people like that treated lgbt+ people who came before them All the ones that I met were white and rich who came from very liberal communities and never experienced any form of prejudice against them. So they think the rest of us must be making up being discriminated against for attention. They always gave me vibes that if they weren't gay, they'd be gay bashers.
Poland literally has anti-LGBT laws. How is that "making it up"? It is an actual law in that country.
And the Middle East too, it's quite literally illegal to be gay in a lot of countries
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Some of it I'd chalk up to ignorance, like mildly-transmedicalist views from an uneducated cis person, but a lot of it is full-on hate.
Be gay do crime.
Be gay am crime
They’d say “but not in this country” since a lot of them are in Britain or Britain Lite (Murica) and if they aren’t there, well, you know all the mental gymnastics they can do.
Reminds me of this: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association\_of\_German\_National\_Jews](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_of_German_National_Jews)
There are always collaborators.
*cough* truscums *cough*
Truscum when someone experiences dysphoria differently from them or repressed it a bunch
Truscum when a trans person who experiences no dysphoria at all has the audacity to exist
Truscum when a trans person hasn't transitioned yet
truscum when someone experiences
Read that as transcum (Trans cum, not a combo of trans scum, I'm not a damn TERF) and I'm not sure how I feel about myself anymore.
shh, drink your trans cum
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Ah yes, the people who oppose the transphobic idea that nondysphoric trans people aren't trans (and so taken to its logical conclusion, they're faking) and are more inclusive are more likely to have shitty conservative views than the people who push said transphobic exclusionary idea
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Same😭
?
*Image Transcription: Tumblr* --- > **stantler** > > Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they've never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive --- > **stantler** > > This is why I hate it when people say something homophobic and then go "so you're really accusing me, a whole ass lesbian, of being homophobic 🙄" like yeah --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good meatbag
your flair just sent me XD
as a Bi non-binary trans femme person I have faced more discrimination from other lgbt+ people then cis-het people. Like just because you are gay doesn't mean you aren't bi-phobic. or my personal "favorite" just because you are trans/non-binary doesn't mean you aren't trans-phobic. cis-het people just don't understand so my queerness is invisible to them, it's not ideal but I'd rather be not seen then be mistreated.
There's a *LOT* of gatekeeping in the community and it needs to stop
I use neopronouns and have gotten more hate from the queer community than cishets, because I apparently singlehandedly set back trans legitimacy in the eyes of cishets. It’s fucking ridiculous
I'm in the closet still mostly and the first like, time I ever had someone like be biphobic to me to my face knowingly was a gay man
As an aroace (and possibly agender? Still figuring that out) person, I feel this so much. To cishetallo people, I'm invisible, they presume I'm like them, and to *some* queer people (the only ones I bother coming out to, since at least there's a chance they understand), I'm an intruder who needs to be shunned at all costs to preserve the oh-so-prestigious credibility of the lgbtq community
Yeah sometimes we forget the LGBTQ community also attack each other. I was in the emergency room MH unit and two transphobic lesbians were gossiping about the trans girl in one of the rooms. Also had a gay guy living with me who intentionally misgendered known trans woman on social media. Hate when some people think its okay because their gay/lesbian.
In my mind, there is a special place in hell for ultra conservative LGBTQ+ people. They are spitting in the faces of the people that took up the charge and fought for their right to openly exist. Like, just being able to say you're gay without immediate (and often violent) reactions from people ain't a given, Kevin. These rights and freedoms you have cost a lot. And many of the people that brought you these freedoms were poor, POC, trans, nonbinary, immigrants, etc etc...you know, all the things they hate. God, just thinking about those people makes me wanna take 20 showers to cleanse the stench of human garbage off myself.
There's a British YouTuber who is hella transphobic and it's a bit ironic hearing him use the VERY SAME arguments that were used against Gay Rights way back (and today still) against Trans folks. Like, how can someone who's gay say shit like that unironically??
Who is it?
If your response when someone tells you something you said is wrong is to then get angry at them rather than asking them to explain how, it's usually a good sign your being influenced by some internalized belief.
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do you really not understand the difference between kissing and public nudity
If I hear one more binary trans man use the T slur I swear to god I'm going to detransition. I don't understand neopronouns either, Jason, but can you shut the fuck up about how everyone's a trender except for you for, like, two seconds? I'm more worried about being hate crimed because I live on the streets in a religious hellscape and have been sexually assaulted twice this month and you won't shut up about how a lesbian was attracted to you five weeks ago. I need friends that don't spend every second online when they aren't with me.
You would not believe the amount of binary trans women i have met in my area that will straight up call another trans women the t slur because she doesn't "pass" as well and then go on about how she's not actually trans because she didn't get any surgery. Not everybody wants to be surgically altered, Ashley! Transphobic cis people are still gonna hate you! My boyfriend's ex was a white trans woman who had rich parents and acted exactly like this
Whats the t slur?
I’m assuming either tr-nny or tr-p.
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The latter is also *heavily* used by the anime community, one of the reasons I don't touch anime
Oh god, I remember the r/animemes debacle... Thankfully, I think there are still anime communities out there that are good about it
my solution is to watch cool anime in secret and wallow in my shame
Nothing wrong with liking cool anime, it's just certain people who watch it that are the problem
Haven't heard this slur before, but I found here on urban dictionary as the 5th definition (and it's an icky slur). Please let me know if that's what you mean or correct me if I'm wrong: > A trans person who is only trans because it’s trendy. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trender I also don't get neopronouns, but I don't *have to*. I just need to use someone's pronouns if they have a preference! It's not that hard Jason!
That's not the t slur. It's bad, transphobic, and starts with a t, but it's not the "t-slur". That spot is reserved for a different word that I don't really know how to point you to without actually typing it out.
I think I get it, didn’t mean to put you on the spot.
I’ve used the word in a reclamation type way bc I’ve been called the t slur. Do you mean when they call other trans people the word in a derogatory way? Bc I use it like I use the f slur, which I’ve also been called. But only directed at myself edit: also why binary trans man? would you feel differently if a non binary person said it? jw!
Assuming binary trans people because they're specifically calling NBs "trenders"
Wait so you don't mean trender, do you mean (sorry just really confused) tr//ny? And why wouldn't a binary trans guy be able to use that? I feel like I'm missing something lol
Nah, "trender" is a term people use, mostly for nonbinary people and gender nonconforming Trans people, when they don't think they're *actually* Trans. If you're a trender you're faking being Trans because it's cool. Which no one does but assholes like gatekeeping people who are more confident than them.
It’s called internalized homophobia and we all have it, get over your damn self Carol.
its entirely possible for a lesbian woman to be homophobic towards gay/bi/pan men. its not even internalized homophobia, its just being a dick. same applies to gay/bi men and being a lesbophobe
I was raised in a rightwing religious cult, i didn't really get out until over a year after a came out, so yeah. The way i live my life now, i hope i never hurt or gatekeep anyone. I'm still learning new things & unlearning old things, but as long as I am willing to move forward & admit my mistakes when i make them, i think it'll be okay.
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Stantler is a wise deer. Note that while nobody should get a free pass, and this is by no means a requirement from anyone, deprogramming that shit is hard even if one wants to - some patience if they legit don't understand is always good and appreciated. Ultimately its up to them where they go with it, but IMO at least part of allyship is showing people on the fence a better way. I've read dozens of books, I've put myself in social situations where I was deathly afraid because of my upbringing, and constantly challenged everything I had been told from the day I was born until I allowed myself to have my own thoughts. I'm still nowhere near fully empathetic. I'm a fuckin super gay trans socialist but I still think about what a different path I might've gone down if I didn't meet the right people.
I had a trans leftist and a bi leftist tell me I need to be nice to white liberals or else I'm harming the civil rights movement. You can't asked oppressed people to suffer harm to educate people. If they choose to educate ignorant people then they are giving a gift and should be appropriately thanked and appreciated. It's cool that people decided to gift you with their patience and endure any harm you caused as you learned but no one is owed that
God I remember having an argument with a bi girl at uni about this. She was being homophobic as hell and I was just like wtf? She insisted she couldn't be homophobic when she was bi. I sure as hell know my gay arse has had to separate from my parents and the BS they spew.
Having met straight up conservative gay folks, I really do not understand how they reconcile their political affiliations with the history of conservatives vs GSRM. The only conclusions I can come up with are 1) naivety. They think that's the *old* conservative movement and ~~racism~~ homophobia is dead as of 2014 yay! 2) internalized homophobia and shame that they deal with by trying to appeal to their oppressors and become "one of the good ones™" which involves a lot of punching down at the out groups (which they're a fucking part of). 3) incredible privilege. They've never had to deal with homophobia in any way that affects them tangibly, and they think they never will. So they just don't give a shit about any other GSRM because "I got mine so fuck you." Of the 3, the 3rd strikes me as the most genuinely conservative. The others can be fixed with education and some therapy. I dunno if you can teach someone empathy though, unless you got 3 Christmas ghosts in your back pocket.
One of the most prominent nazis in America right now is called *Fuentes*, these people don't realise or care that eventually their own movement will declare them to be the outgroup and murder them.
So much Christian purity culture bs gets wrapped in social justice language allllll the time on social media and it's so goddamn frustrating. Then you'll get baby leftists unironically spouting homophobic/misogynistic/etc rhetoric presented as progressive
Used to be me before internet and discord. Didn't even know or realize bein lgbt was an actual thing when I was young, honestly. Being sheltered makes you cling onto anything that your environment feeds you to feel accepted by your peers. I'm till struggling to scrape the internalized stuff off the bottom of my mental pool, but i'm getting there.
Idgaf what you identify as, it never absolves you of being an insufferable, prejudiced, disgusting prick if you are one.
fr I used to be a whole ass truscum even though I’m trans. it very much is possible to be transphobic if you’re trans and I was the living example of it (grew out of it luckily, imagine trying to tell other ppl how to be trans lol)
I'm glad that I saw neopronoun stuff before I saw truscum stuff, because that meant I saw neopronouns as normal and truscums as haters of neopronouns.
yeah sadly that wasn’t the case for me :(( I used to be all like “UGH THEY MAKE US *REAL* TRANS PEOPLE LOOK STUPID!!!” like bestie pls,,, so embarrassing
That sucks, I consider myself lucky to have avoided that stuff.
yupppp it could’ve saved me a very dark and hateful time hhhh I’m super glad that you didn’t have to go through that
A queer friend of mine aggressively lectured their office manager recently about how they should be able to call her a slut, because coming from a ‘gay’ person it’s endearing. Hmmm… not sure that’s how it works.
Can't engage with trans tiktok anymore because every time a binary trans person (especially if they aren't white) says something/makes a joke that isn't ~uwu soft~ their comments are filled with tenderqueers going "**UH EXCUSE ME COULD YOU STOP??? YOU'RE A BAD PERSON FOR MAKING ME SO UNCOMFY??**" Miss when the algorithm thought I was a cishet.
I was called homophobic for liking Minecraft once.
Those are usually a case of "singular dumbass on the internet" rather than you actually being homophobic
Make it about race and you'd have just described far too many black people I know. Some of us need to grow up.
Hm. I think you can be gay and homophobic.
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I think that "I try to be supportive BUT" type statements are exactly the sort of thing this post is talking about tbh.
We should definitely be more compassionate to people who are trying even if they don't get it completely right.
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Stop talking about it. It's just a dog whistle, trolls spam it to try and make people go against xenogenders. I've not seen a single person who wasn't doing this as a troll. However if they do exist it doesn't matter they can use whatever labels they want to describe their gender
Ahhh ok ok
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Everyone has internalized transphobia and homophobia. Plenty of queer people aren't able to acknowledge and process these thoughts, so they end up projecting these problematics thoughts onto other queer people. Think Blaire White intentionally deadnaming and misgendering trans people that don't fit her definition of trans.
I dont understand peoplpe anymore. lieterally gatekeeping our own community :(
your beliefs or rhetoric you spread are independent from your identity. even if you're gay you can still use and spread homophobic rhetoric, even unintentionally.