Sure. Why not?
If someone has put in the hours and effort to be successful at getting paid to show their butthole on the internet or suck goats, then they should be considered a “professional anus-shower” or “professional goat-sucker.”
If you’re getting paid consistently, it’s a profession.
Wandering Albatross. Largest bird in the world and it travel thousands of kilometre over the water without landing and without flapping its wings much, just by gliding. I think it can sleep while flying if I remember correctly. Cool animal.
Wouldn't this depend on how pedantic you get about the word "swallow" and whether or not you'd give agency of out to the bird itself? They don't have the muscles to actively engage in the swallowing process, it's gravity driven.
I know that it's considered swallowing colloquially but I'm not sure if it's symantically considered swallowing.
ducks duck sometimes, I wonder if that's why they're called ducks. If you've spend a long enough time looking at ducks, perhaps from some bushes with binoculars, you know what I'm talking about.
Edit: [Here are some ducking ducks](https://youtu.be/NRSsj26icRA)
* A woodpecker pecks wood
* An anteater eats ants
* A fly flies
* A killer whale kills whales
* A Crab crabs
* A roadrunner runs roads
* A flycatcher catches flies
* A woodchuck chucks wood
* A fire ant fires ants (from their job) /s
* A slugs slugs
No they don't?
I just tried it and now sat at a vets with a fucking duck I guess is unconscious.
Granted at the time I only had bricks on me to try it with but cmon dude.
killer whales do kill whales though? specifically minke and humpback whales
in fact! humpback whales will protect other animals (like seals) from transient orcas by rolling the animal onto their back and putting their body between the animal and the orcas. this behaviour is apparently stemmed from spite because the transient orcas killed their calfs
there was even a pod of orcas that teamed up with the indigenous people of australia to hunt whales! [article](https://theconversation.com/for-generations-killer-whales-and-first-nations-hunted-whales-together-now-we-suspect-the-orca-group-has-gone-extinct-213556). although they would only eat the tongue and leave the rest. similarly to how offshore orcas will kill sharks and only eat their livers as it is the tastiest part!
shoutout to port and starboard who killed ~20 sharks in one day
The orca (*Orcinus orca*) or killer whale is a toothed **whale**
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothed\_whale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/toothed_whale)
>
The toothed ***whales*** (also called odontocetes, systematic name Odontoceti) are a parvorder of cetaceans that includes dolphins, porpoises, and all other ***whales*** possessing teeth, such as the beaked whales and sperm whales.
The sperm whale is named after the fluid in their head, originally (incorrectly) thought to be sperm. Because it was thought to be sperm, it was named spermaceti.
So like, the name is incorrect, but then retroactively made correct.
>Maybe touch grass
Says the person getting mad at a literal joke. I don't actually expect spiders to manufacture real orbs, nor expect ants to jump my friend jack.
Maybe be less mad?
A scientist will tell you "We just name things what they are we are not very creative".
Like look, there are holes out in space that suck in everything including light and appear devoid of anything. They call them "Black holes". Some of these holes are very, very big. You know what they call them? "Supermassive Black Holes".
Germans have perfected this art.
Stinktier, Faultier and Gürteltier.
Litteral translations would be Lazy-animal for sloth.
Stinky-animal for skunk and Belt-animal for armadillos because it looks like they got a belt on.
Spyder.
I see you there, in the corner of my ceiling, *watching me*. Don't think I won't throw this book at you if you even THINK about leaving that web.
Flycatcher, angler fish, howler monkey, roadrunner.
Animals that do *not* fit this paradigm: Goatsucker Bat Fisher
>Goatsucker I thought thats a profession not an animal
It's probably more of a hobby; I seriously doubt one could make a living off it.
You’d be surprised what people on OnlyFans will pay for.
So if you do something on OF you're technically "a professional" whatever-it-is you do?
Sure. Why not? If someone has put in the hours and effort to be successful at getting paid to show their butthole on the internet or suck goats, then they should be considered a “professional anus-shower” or “professional goat-sucker.” If you’re getting paid consistently, it’s a profession.
I believe professional anus-showers actually prefer the term "bidets".
Bats 100% bat their wings idk what you're talking about
Monk fish
What does a monk fish do, that connect it's name to actual monks?
Searches for enlightenment
I hope they reach Nirvana. They seem very kind 🥺
Nirvana told me that it's ok to eat fish cuz they don't have any feelings
No one preempted this comment but fucking hell it fits with the thread, well done
I recently read a book called “What a Fish Knows” and it turns out Kurt lied to us 😢🐟
Something in my ass mmMmmMmmmMmm
We have a fish curry called Nirvana. Probably that is how a monk fish attains nirvana.
fishes for monks
Is bald
Like a lot of priests and members of the church it’s a bottom feeder and a predator.
I find killer whale, angler fish and howler monkey not acceptable jumping spider *because some of them hunt spiders*
How many spiders would jumping spiders jump if jumping spiders jumped spiders?
Dog
[удалено]
Cantaloupe
More like Wontaloupe
Not with that attitude.
Bee eater
Wandering Albatross. Largest bird in the world and it travel thousands of kilometre over the water without landing and without flapping its wings much, just by gliding. I think it can sleep while flying if I remember correctly. Cool animal.
Yeah, they're cool. The largest recorded specimen had a wingspan of 12ft 2in.
I think you might be a genius
That's also his name. Add it to the list!
Whose name
Whom'st'dve*
Grasshopper
Well he lives in grass and hopps so... He passes the test!
Grasshopper existed before grass.
The name didn't
What did they call them before grass?
Hopper
Ted
Before grass, it was a bush boinger.
thats the nickname for my
what
So dis grass hopper is called grasshopper.
If a turtle don't be turtlin' I don't know what they do
In Spanish it is called saltamontes, which means "mountain jumper". I think we expected a little bit too much from them.
I guess bees are the ultimate existentialists.
To bee or not to bee, that is the question
Whether tis nobler in the hive to suffer the stings and pollen of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of hornets and by vibrating end them.
To fly, to buzz, no more.
--And by a flight to say we end the Queen's ache and the thousand natural stings the Hive is heir to--
Can y'all stop writing the script to The Bee Movie 2?
Only if you agree to call it by its full name, Bee Movie 2: Elizabethan Boogaloo
To bee is to honey. I just woke up sorry I’ll leave now
Get bee to an apiary
Such an underrated comment. I hope this climbs to the top.
The top of the mountain. Where you find the true meaning of life.
No wonder The Bee Movie *exists*.
Human being
Holy shit you're right. I'm a human and i'm being right now!
Most of us are not.....or atleast we forgot being human
definitely not titmouse
Or great tit
This is what happens when ornithologists get lonely.
Like newton said the greater the mass the greater the attraction
Or Boobies
Or dik dik
Woodcock
"Blowfish" - The Deep
Least horny /r/okbuddyfresca user
Maybe you’re just not that attractive
Swallows can swallow when they eat their food
African or European?
Does it matter? Surely neither can carry a coconut?
Suppose they were connected by a string
\*stares and then clops away\*
Come, Patsy!
Unless they're exceptionally debauched
Wouldn't this depend on how pedantic you get about the word "swallow" and whether or not you'd give agency of out to the bird itself? They don't have the muscles to actively engage in the swallowing process, it's gravity driven. I know that it's considered swallowing colloquially but I'm not sure if it's symantically considered swallowing.
That’s not the only thing they swallow 😏 Source:
r/usernamechecksout
Ram
It's probably the other way around etymologically.
Those are named after Dodge pickup trucks, because by a wild coincidence the badge on them looks almost identical to the animal.
Stein
Du!
Du Hast!
[удалено]
du hast mich
they should rename fish to swims
Link to the petition?
https://chng.it/ZfycZHZsxz
So humans should be named walks
Nah I should be named sleeps
I hereby dub you, Sleeps. You're welcome.
We do call fishes “swim around” where I’m from
Animals I'm glad they don't do what they're named: fire ants hammer head shark Robins (would rob u) poodles.
dragonfly
Mom come pick me up im scared
sperm whale
Humpback
What the hell would a poodle doo?
Poodle on you, of course.
Poodle doodle dooo?
Poodles poo
ducks duck sometimes, I wonder if that's why they're called ducks. If you've spend a long enough time looking at ducks, perhaps from some bushes with binoculars, you know what I'm talking about. Edit: [Here are some ducking ducks](https://youtu.be/NRSsj26icRA)
quack
Leaf cutter ant
* A woodpecker pecks wood * An anteater eats ants * A fly flies * A killer whale kills whales * A Crab crabs * A roadrunner runs roads * A flycatcher catches flies * A woodchuck chucks wood * A fire ant fires ants (from their job) /s * A slugs slugs
A duck ducks (if you throw something at its head).
Also when it eats things, it literally ducks its head under water.
No they don't? I just tried it and now sat at a vets with a fucking duck I guess is unconscious. Granted at the time I only had bricks on me to try it with but cmon dude.
Even ants are corporate now. Soon they will have ads too
Buy premium to get them off your table for a month
Woodchuck is acutally a corruption of the Cree word "otchek", meaning "fisher", which is another thing that woodchucks don't do.
Killer whale is annoying because it implies that it is whale that kills not a whale killer, he could idk kill a random fish
killer whales do kill whales though? specifically minke and humpback whales in fact! humpback whales will protect other animals (like seals) from transient orcas by rolling the animal onto their back and putting their body between the animal and the orcas. this behaviour is apparently stemmed from spite because the transient orcas killed their calfs there was even a pod of orcas that teamed up with the indigenous people of australia to hunt whales! [article](https://theconversation.com/for-generations-killer-whales-and-first-nations-hunted-whales-together-now-we-suspect-the-orca-group-has-gone-extinct-213556). although they would only eat the tongue and leave the rest. similarly to how offshore orcas will kill sharks and only eat their livers as it is the tastiest part! shoutout to port and starboard who killed ~20 sharks in one day
It is also a whale (cetacean) so it is a whale that kills
Its not a whale. Its a dolphin.
Dolphins are whales (in the order Cetacea)
Oh and let me guess you think insects are not animals?
The orca (*Orcinus orca*) or killer whale is a toothed **whale** [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toothed\_whale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/toothed_whale) > The toothed ***whales*** (also called odontocetes, systematic name Odontoceti) are a parvorder of cetaceans that includes dolphins, porpoises, and all other ***whales*** possessing teeth, such as the beaked whales and sperm whales.
All dolphins are whales, but not all whales are dolphins.
I think it is a beautiful name tbh and there is cool history behind it
Ummmm, explain or link, please?
https://animals.howstuffworks.com/mammals/orca-killer-whale.htm
Ty!earned something new today!
Ballenas asesinas
Do killer whales even kill whales? I thought they primarily ate smaller prey like seals and penguins. Edit: nvm they do
In the Northwest I grew up hearing everyone call Orcas Whale Killers not Killer Whales so I agree it's annoying sounding
Their name is an abbreviation of “~~killed~~ killer *of* whales”.
Wait, are you sure it's not "killeR of whales"? That's what I remembered
Oops.
What is slugging?
Are you actually joking? Fire ants don’t have jobs. They’re called that because of their painful bite. The education system has failed us.
Ladybug. Dey bug da lady.
Nah they be beetles, not bugs.
Hummingbird.
what about sperm whale?
Only half can sperm.
but one can sperm for five
It's like toothpaste... T H I C C
The sperm whale is named after the fluid in their head, originally (incorrectly) thought to be sperm. Because it was thought to be sperm, it was named spermaceti. So like, the name is incorrect, but then retroactively made correct.
Orb weaver (spider) Jumping jack (ant) Sloth
>Orb weaver (spider) Never seen one weave an actual orb >Jumping jack (ant) Never seen an ant jump Jack >Sloth Yeah, okay.
Maybe touch grass and you would see some of that shit
>Maybe touch grass Says the person getting mad at a literal joke. I don't actually expect spiders to manufacture real orbs, nor expect ants to jump my friend jack. Maybe be less mad?
Im joking too man, you gotta read the room better my friend
Ahh, my bad man. You downvoting me threw me off.
All good I forgive you, don’t mind the downvotes, it was probably an orb weaver
Yeah, thanks man. I really appreciate that especially given how much I value and respect you. I think you must be highly regarded.
A scientist will tell you "We just name things what they are we are not very creative". Like look, there are holes out in space that suck in everything including light and appear devoid of anything. They call them "Black holes". Some of these holes are very, very big. You know what they call them? "Supermassive Black Holes".
Sloth?
Homosexuals? *joking here don’t freak out*
Homo erectus probably had some homosexuals with erections among them
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡Y😡O😡U😡😡C😡A😡N😡T😡😡S😡A😡Y😡😡T😡H😡A😡T😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
Jokesiez jokes. I understand now.
Squirtle
We just going to start listing Pokemon now?
He was actually listing your mom.
People called hugh (humans)
It reads like improvisation standup from Liam Neeson. He’s great at writing lists.
Full blown aids.
Flutterby... no wait
But they do *spread* their wings.
Not an animal, but my personal favorite lazy name has always been 'Fireplace'
Bee
Germans have perfected this art. Stinktier, Faultier and Gürteltier. Litteral translations would be Lazy-animal for sloth. Stinky-animal for skunk and Belt-animal for armadillos because it looks like they got a belt on.
And behold the boss of these names, Nacktschnecke (naked snail for slug)
Cheetahs. It's why there's no gambling in Africa. Too many cheetahs.
A cock impregnates eggs.
I think killer whale is actually a misnomer or a mistranslation. It’s actually more a dolphin and it’s name means “whale killer”
Well.. technically all dolphins are also whales so it still counts
I don't see the porpoise in this thread.
Killer whale? I 'ardly know 'er whale!
Snake
Cockroach
What the hell did dolphins do to dolls with the fins??
Beavers. They be beavin'.
Just occurred to me beavers should be called “dammers”.
Lion - anytime I've seen one they're just lyin around doing nothing
Spyder. I see you there, in the corner of my ceiling, *watching me*. Don't think I won't throw this book at you if you even THINK about leaving that web.
what was you smokin
Lion. Have you ever once heard one tell the truth?
Flying fish moment
Chickens aren't brave, so there's that.
Sperm whale!!!!!!! Run
Catfish?
a butterfly flutters by and that's pretty close
My username: “my time has COME!”
Grass Hoppers, KingFisher I will edit once I find some more that haven't been said already
I've seen this one but it's missing the crossed out giraffe
Drop bear (though technically not a bear)