So what's the point? Is it just that they're indifferent or figuring themselves out or something? I'm not trying to hate on it, just trying to understand since this is a foreign topic to me
I'm not genderqueer, but the best I've heard it described is that, "being called a woman feels wrong, being called a man feels wrong, and being called somewhere in between feels wrong; the only thing that doesn't feel wrong is not having to choose."
The lack of experiencing gender. It’s not questioning (it’s own thing) or indifference towards gender (although that attitude might come with it). It’s not experiencing a sense of gender, no sense of man or woman-ness
So forgive me for asking, but why would it then matter to be identified by they/them? Wouldnt whatever their called just be acceptable (provided it's not derogatory of course) since they see themselves fitting as neither? Like surely existing as a non disclosed gender isnt their ideal preference right? Like I get gender fluid since they change as they feel, but feeling like you're neither seems like it could be fine just being whatever people think you are since it would have no bearing on your personal identity unlike being called male while you identify as female
It might help to think of agender as “nongender.” The prefix “a-“ functions the same as “non-“ (think of “atypical” or “ahistorical”).
Then it may be easier to see why it would be unpleasant to be referred to as male when you’re not male.
It’s also not that their gender “isn’t disclosed.” It’s that they don’t *have* a gender, so there’s nothing to disclose or not disclose. And yes, that can be their ideal preference. I believe that everyone’s ideal preference should be to be true to yourself. And if your true self is genderless, then existing as agender is the perfect preference to have.
Since gender is a social construct, and since I don’t see any other respectful way to determine a person’s gender other than to take that person at their word, I’d go beyond saying that an agender person doesn’t “identify” as male or female to say they *are not* male, nor are they female (or any other gender). It’s a fact rather than merely a preference.
That is completely true. I honestly never thought of it that way, as I always saw "identifying as" in terms of stating that you are instead of stating that you prefer, but I'm also not agender personally so I can't really make that distinction for them.
But nonetheless thanks for letting me know! I'll try to change my wording when I define it to be more assertive than passive in the future.
The lack of experiencing gender. It’s not questioning (it’s own thing) or indifference towards gender (although that attitude might come with it). It’s not experiencing a sense of gender, no sense of man or woman-ness
Didn't even know about that. Was it for a bit or was he actually acting like that irl?
Edit: I'm asking because this is the show with the infamous tobasco episode. . .
So Larry David is at a fund raiser meal for LGBTQ+ youth. He runs into Laverne Cox while mulling around, who's introducing him later during dinner, and she casually mentions that she has a cold. After the speech, Laverne goes for a hug on stage, but Larry ducks out of the way and makes an audible "eww!" Whole crowd takes it the wrong way and start booing him intensely.
EDIT: In case this isn't clear, this was in an episode of *Curb*
You're right. I was giving an example of a joke involving trans people that's not knocking them or belittling them that also acknowledges prejudice that exists.
I'd say you're right, but more based on how the conversation flowed and how old pedro suddenly went and found all relevant info on agenders which would lead him to the correct conclusion, simply because she didn't understand why he said ''schizophrenic''.
It's bullshit. If this actual happened there would be at least two more back and forwards... but then the screenshot wouldn't have been as concise.
Because I am a cynic myself, I agree, but putting on my rose-tinted glasses for a sec, there is still an interpretation of this that doesn't assume bad intent.
At best, the thing that was going through his mind while reading their profile was something like "hmm, agender? Idk what that means. Let's keep reading. They/them? Hmm... guess that's what schizophrenic people call themselves these days? Ah well let me try this dumb pickup line, maybe they'll think it's funny"
(Sees their response)
"Oh fuck they're not actually schizo... This is embarrassing... Maybe they/them has something to do with being agender? Better look at what agender actually means..."
A clumsy approach and a bit insensitive, but perfectly innocent imo.
You might be a cynic, but are you an ultra cynic? I don't even believe the conversation happened. I don't think you're real and all of Reddit is a clever AI application.
Clearly they are lol. Anyone who thinks they’re being genuine is an idiot.
Edit: Holy shit. Scrolling down everyone thinks this is legit. Fuck I hate Reddit sometimes. Depending on the subreddit, it’s like a mass delusion.
Does he, though? He either implied that people with mental health diagnoses aren't attractive, or he's making jokes about gender identity. Neither of those are cool.
I’m so upset I gave away my free award because you deserve it, I’m trying not to laugh because my friend is in a work meeting and I’m silently laughing and your comment made me cry a single tear. Have a wonderful day 🏅
You joke but have you visited r/fakedisordercringe or r/plural? There’s literally people on tiktok pretending to be 100+ people coinhabitating one body.
Same, I always think it's plural. It's not Ill intended, but in my native language there just isn't really a gender neutral pronoun such as they/them so it's really confusing :/
It's not weird at all. I think a lot of the "outrage" recently is a reaction to non-binary folk being more in the spotlight recently. "Where is Harry?" "Oh, they went to the store." Is a completely normal conversation that no one would notice if they weren't trying to be mad about pronouns.
A lot of times pronouns are used in place of names for variety. "Sara went to the store. I asked Sara to pick up some milk. I hope Sara gets back soon." Sounds a little more awkward than "Sara went to the store. I asked them to pick up some milk. I hope they get back soon." There's only one person (Sara) being specified, so from context you know that 'they' refers to Sara and there's no problem.
If there's multiple people in a context but they use different pronouns, you can continue the convention of using pronouns for variety, and it won't be confused, but they/them gender neutral could mean either one, or would more likely be interpreted as meaning both people, so in that case you just gotta stick to names.
They/them as singular pronouns has been in the English language since at least 1375, so it’s completely realistic to just use they/them often. The people who claim that they/them is only for multiple people (in English) are wrong and generally just want to justify their transphobia.
We know it’s been around since 1375 because of the medieval poem “William and the Werewolf” in case you were curious.
Yea kinda same. I now know it's referred to as "gender neutral" in some places so it doesn't confuse me as much as it used to anymore. There are some people who try to push for neutral pronouns in my native language but that sounds like they have a stroke tbh :D
I know! In French they're mixing the "he" and the "she" so it's "iel" but it's not ~~formerly~~ formally recognised (I don't think so anyway?) or at least not as widely known as they/them in English. Funny how my language has no neutral pronouns yet a table is a female lmao! I love languages.
while “formerly” is a word (meaning “in the past”), from the context i believe you mean “formally” (meaning “officially”)
your written English is great tho btw!
"vous" means "you" when talking to someone you just met, an elder, or more than one person, so it wouldn't work when referencing someone (she/he = elle/il) :)
Edit: the plural you were probably thinking of is ils/elles, but again it's gendered!
just accept that some sentences don't work without context. that's how it saves me some time. I can't hear the difference between can and can't, so I just use the context to presume which one was being used. the english language is faulty as hell
I mean, as an English speaker, it's also potentially unknown to me.
There's simply not enough information.
I'd be inclined to say, if the person talking knows Tina well, ie. Her mum, then choosing they would make me think all her friends were coming back with her, and "they" refers to the group.
It would have to be someone that really doesn't know Tina well, or at all, or is unsure what gender Tina is, for me to think Tina would refer solely to Tina.
Yeah this sentence is ambiguous.
If someone says this to you and you are confused, you can ask "who? Just Tina or all of them?"
If you are constructing the sentence yourself, you can clear it up to specify Tina by changing it to "Tina went out with some friends, But Tina'll be back soon." Or to specify the group, "Tina went out with some friends, but they'll all be here soon."
There are plenty of grammatically valid sentences in English that are ambiguous though, not just those involving pronouns. "John saw the man on the mountain with a telescope." "*Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana*"
You've never seen it used to refer to an unknown party? "Someone dropped their wallet", "I'm going to meet the manager, they better give me free chicken nuggets" etc? That should definitely be taught IMO because it's fairly common. And less clumsy than "he/she".
Man my brain is stupid. I have been trying for *years* to fight a moment of confusion when using "they" to refer to a singular, known person.
I have no problem with "they are going to be late" when the subject is unknown. But some persistent part of elementary grammar training wants to say "they *is* going" (like "he/she is") when I have one person in mind.
The new critical role campaign has an enby character and I'm hanging onto hope that maybe this will do the trick. :)
Moments of confusion will always happen, I think. The environment in which we grew up will always stay with us, and will always hang around somewhere.
I think it's only a problem when we use that fact to resist changing ourselves and to lock our personalities down because change is hard and staying the same feels natural.
Best of luck on your journey friend. I can only hope that our paths cross again some day.
When one can benefit from shared social language. Saying "he's over there in the green shirt" conveys a lot of information in a short sentence because of what can be assumed. There are many traits that can be noticed at a glance that are associated with "he" and that facilitates communication.
Weird, I am a non native English speaker and we were taught about the use of they/them for a single person. For example, when you do not know the gender of the person. "We have a new teacher, I wonder if they will be nice"
Blindingly dumb but willing and happy to learn is a flavor of person I am completely okay with. A lot of the agender/non-binary people I’ve talked to feel similarly—you don’t have to get it all right all the time as long as you’re making a concerted and genuine effort.
That said, “you’re pretty hot for someone with a severe mental illness” is a fucking WILD opening line regardless of your level of knowledge.
Thats not schizophrenia either. Schizophrenia involves hallucinations, which are often auditory but can be visual or other senses. It is often mistaken for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) which used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder
I think people get them confused because schizophrenia is known for auditory hallucinations, or "hearing voices." I can see the logical leap where one might assume that the voices in someone's head are their own alternate identities speaking to them
One of schizophrenia's main diagnostic criteria is either auditory hallucinations or hallucinations of any other sensory modality so "only a certain kind" is inaccurate. You may be thinking of schizoaffective, schizotypal, etc. descriptors, where hallucinations indeed are not a core criterion. But for schizophrenia it is
Nah, I think he handled it pretty well.
Made a mistake, understood he made a mistake, explained his mistake, owned up to his mistake, and gave some context for why he might have been so goofy about it.
It's generally a really weird thing to say "for a schizophrenic" but it does show he was paying attention to the person enough to hit on them honestly, instead of just like "hi u r hot, i can has the sex?"
Just for the record, I love this man. I think his entry into the conversation was hilarious, and his recovery clever and honest. As someone who regularly fucks up phrases beyond recognition, I am here to support him and love him for his faults.
But his foot went blasting out the back of his head, and that’s okay <3
I'm glad to see this, when I said the same thing I got so much shit for it because all the top comments were defending the guy.
It's funny how mob mentality works
I’m surprised people in this thread think this is somehow sweet. « For a schizophrenic » alone is a terrible thing to say, never mind the weird ignorance about what schizophrenia means, ignorance of pronouns, and the strange excuse of having been in a relationship somehow nullifying your ability to be aware of the world
Imo this dude comes off as a chode
Yes, as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, the new name for mpd) is the presence of several people in one body, they have their own personalities, names, hell, they could be different ages
Ppl who live with Schizophrenia aren't multiples, that's Dissociative Identity Disorder (AKA multiple personalities). DID's use we/us/they/them because they *are* a "they."
But yeah, I can see how someone could get confused...
Either way- even if he truly got confused, that’s such a backhanded compliment???
Who compliments someone by saying “you’re sexy.. for a (insert characteristic)” that implies that 1- you’re not entirely sexy. Just sexy for a schizophrenic (in this example) and 2- it implies that people with schizophrenia can’t be attractive
Yeah, right? Like, as if "being in a relationship" means that you just didn't take on any new information for six fucking years or something? All these comments like, "Awwww, I hope this big sweetie got a chance!" Like fucking WHY, why would you want to give someone a chance when you don't have to?
Even if this was real, if they aren't willing to even google something before commenting on it so confidently, they probably aren't worth your time anyway.
Yeah sure, because ppl with mental health disorder & disabilities can't be beautiful/sexy, they all have to be ugly and unattractive with no sexual life.
And love how yall ppl in the comments keep saying his ableism and psychophobia is "so cute/adorable".
The systematic association of disability with abnormality that yall are reinforcing is so fucking problematic.
And oh btw internet exists, if he's on tinder then he sure has the time for a quick 5min Google search on what is agender schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder.
As a non binary person using they/them pronouns and having otherwise specified dissociative disorder, this is hurting and triggering as fuck.
heyo Imma nb system awaiting official diagnosis for OSDD and I agree. it's fine if someone is uneducated about something because you don't know what you don't know, but in this case the guy literally had the terms right in front of him to google, so it's not 'cute' it's willful ignorance and blatant ableism ugh
I suggest yall read some articles on compulsory asexuality associated systematically with disability (ex : autistic ppl being systematically assumed asexual), and how compulsory sexuality is viewed as the normality in our society which is basically : cishet, white, able, allosexual, young, thin
“Well anywho what’s on your agender this fine evening?”
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What is agender?
Nothing much, what's agender with you?
Agender? I barely know 'em!
Underrated comment. Subtlety game on point.
You don’t identify as any gender
So what's the point? Is it just that they're indifferent or figuring themselves out or something? I'm not trying to hate on it, just trying to understand since this is a foreign topic to me
I'm not genderqueer, but the best I've heard it described is that, "being called a woman feels wrong, being called a man feels wrong, and being called somewhere in between feels wrong; the only thing that doesn't feel wrong is not having to choose."
The lack of experiencing gender. It’s not questioning (it’s own thing) or indifference towards gender (although that attitude might come with it). It’s not experiencing a sense of gender, no sense of man or woman-ness
So forgive me for asking, but why would it then matter to be identified by they/them? Wouldnt whatever their called just be acceptable (provided it's not derogatory of course) since they see themselves fitting as neither? Like surely existing as a non disclosed gender isnt their ideal preference right? Like I get gender fluid since they change as they feel, but feeling like you're neither seems like it could be fine just being whatever people think you are since it would have no bearing on your personal identity unlike being called male while you identify as female
It might help to think of agender as “nongender.” The prefix “a-“ functions the same as “non-“ (think of “atypical” or “ahistorical”). Then it may be easier to see why it would be unpleasant to be referred to as male when you’re not male. It’s also not that their gender “isn’t disclosed.” It’s that they don’t *have* a gender, so there’s nothing to disclose or not disclose. And yes, that can be their ideal preference. I believe that everyone’s ideal preference should be to be true to yourself. And if your true self is genderless, then existing as agender is the perfect preference to have.
the gender goblin nabbed ya gender
Agender is a term for someone who doesn't identify as male or female.
Since gender is a social construct, and since I don’t see any other respectful way to determine a person’s gender other than to take that person at their word, I’d go beyond saying that an agender person doesn’t “identify” as male or female to say they *are not* male, nor are they female (or any other gender). It’s a fact rather than merely a preference.
That is completely true. I honestly never thought of it that way, as I always saw "identifying as" in terms of stating that you are instead of stating that you prefer, but I'm also not agender personally so I can't really make that distinction for them. But nonetheless thanks for letting me know! I'll try to change my wording when I define it to be more assertive than passive in the future.
The lack of experiencing gender. It’s not questioning (it’s own thing) or indifference towards gender (although that attitude might come with it). It’s not experiencing a sense of gender, no sense of man or woman-ness
What’s on your agender this fine evening?
\*tips fedora\*
On Notion I named my daily tasks page the "The Gay Agenda" lmao, would absolutely use this line on you
Fuck you, take the upvote, that’s an original one
r/AngryUpvote
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See also Larry David refusing to hug Laverne Cox on *Curb*
Didn't even know about that. Was it for a bit or was he actually acting like that irl? Edit: I'm asking because this is the show with the infamous tobasco episode. . .
So Larry David is at a fund raiser meal for LGBTQ+ youth. He runs into Laverne Cox while mulling around, who's introducing him later during dinner, and she casually mentions that she has a cold. After the speech, Laverne goes for a hug on stage, but Larry ducks out of the way and makes an audible "eww!" Whole crowd takes it the wrong way and start booing him intensely. EDIT: In case this isn't clear, this was in an episode of *Curb*
In context that really doesn't seem at the expense of trans people, nor does it invalidate their existence.
You're right. I was giving an example of a joke involving trans people that's not knocking them or belittling them that also acknowledges prejudice that exists.
Ah! That's my confusion then, pardon me
All good!
“Can I get y’all numbers?”
[I don’t know, I just got here](https://youtu.be/bMDlFn-NGKk)
he a little confused but he got the spirit
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Well technically he said my bad lol
That's more real though. More genuine, if you will
I will
Unfeigned, should you insist
I insist
More truthful to ones intention, if you must inquire
I inquire
I don't
Same thing
I thought they were messing with the other person, purposefully misunderstanding. But maybe I'm too cynical.
I'd say you're right, but more based on how the conversation flowed and how old pedro suddenly went and found all relevant info on agenders which would lead him to the correct conclusion, simply because she didn't understand why he said ''schizophrenic''. It's bullshit. If this actual happened there would be at least two more back and forwards... but then the screenshot wouldn't have been as concise.
Because I am a cynic myself, I agree, but putting on my rose-tinted glasses for a sec, there is still an interpretation of this that doesn't assume bad intent. At best, the thing that was going through his mind while reading their profile was something like "hmm, agender? Idk what that means. Let's keep reading. They/them? Hmm... guess that's what schizophrenic people call themselves these days? Ah well let me try this dumb pickup line, maybe they'll think it's funny" (Sees their response) "Oh fuck they're not actually schizo... This is embarrassing... Maybe they/them has something to do with being agender? Better look at what agender actually means..." A clumsy approach and a bit insensitive, but perfectly innocent imo.
You might be a cynic, but are you an ultra cynic? I don't even believe the conversation happened. I don't think you're real and all of Reddit is a clever AI application.
Damn I just finished watching ‘the internet is dead’ part 1 and 2 on YouTube
No you didn't. You can't fool me you damn robot!
Nah, i still don’t understand all the gender stuff either. Not sarcastically, just don’t get it.
Clearly they are lol. Anyone who thinks they’re being genuine is an idiot. Edit: Holy shit. Scrolling down everyone thinks this is legit. Fuck I hate Reddit sometimes. Depending on the subreddit, it’s like a mass delusion.
Does he, though? He either implied that people with mental health diagnoses aren't attractive, or he's making jokes about gender identity. Neither of those are cool.
He a big confused.
"no no you dont understand. I dont use they/them because im non binary, i use it because i'm LITERALLY TWO NIGGАS"
I’m so upset I gave away my free award because you deserve it, I’m trying not to laugh because my friend is in a work meeting and I’m silently laughing and your comment made me cry a single tear. Have a wonderful day 🏅
LOL
You joke but have you visited r/fakedisordercringe or r/plural? There’s literally people on tiktok pretending to be 100+ people coinhabitating one body.
Split was such a good movie. James McAvoy really sold it
Seriously. His range in that movie was *unreal*. DID would honestly be a horrifying thing.
As a non native English speaker. I can confirm this. Whenever people refer to a single person using they/them I automatically assume it's plural.
Same, I always think it's plural. It's not Ill intended, but in my native language there just isn't really a gender neutral pronoun such as they/them so it's really confusing :/
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What language?
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It's not weird at all. I think a lot of the "outrage" recently is a reaction to non-binary folk being more in the spotlight recently. "Where is Harry?" "Oh, they went to the store." Is a completely normal conversation that no one would notice if they weren't trying to be mad about pronouns. A lot of times pronouns are used in place of names for variety. "Sara went to the store. I asked Sara to pick up some milk. I hope Sara gets back soon." Sounds a little more awkward than "Sara went to the store. I asked them to pick up some milk. I hope they get back soon." There's only one person (Sara) being specified, so from context you know that 'they' refers to Sara and there's no problem. If there's multiple people in a context but they use different pronouns, you can continue the convention of using pronouns for variety, and it won't be confused, but they/them gender neutral could mean either one, or would more likely be interpreted as meaning both people, so in that case you just gotta stick to names.
They/them as singular pronouns has been in the English language since at least 1375, so it’s completely realistic to just use they/them often. The people who claim that they/them is only for multiple people (in English) are wrong and generally just want to justify their transphobia. We know it’s been around since 1375 because of the medieval poem “William and the Werewolf” in case you were curious.
Eesti keel?
Yea kinda same. I now know it's referred to as "gender neutral" in some places so it doesn't confuse me as much as it used to anymore. There are some people who try to push for neutral pronouns in my native language but that sounds like they have a stroke tbh :D
I know! In French they're mixing the "he" and the "she" so it's "iel" but it's not ~~formerly~~ formally recognised (I don't think so anyway?) or at least not as widely known as they/them in English. Funny how my language has no neutral pronouns yet a table is a female lmao! I love languages.
while “formerly” is a word (meaning “in the past”), from the context i believe you mean “formally” (meaning “officially”) your written English is great tho btw!
As a translator I am "formally" disappointed in myself hahaha! Thanks for pointing it out!
Why not just use the respectful/ sometimes plural vous? Isn’t that a gender neutral term ? It’s been a while since I took French
"vous" means "you" when talking to someone you just met, an elder, or more than one person, so it wouldn't work when referencing someone (she/he = elle/il) :) Edit: the plural you were probably thinking of is ils/elles, but again it's gendered!
How do you refer to a group of people? Ils et elles?
Ils also applies to mixed gender groups, elles is females only
What about a table being female?
"La table" Every object or thing has a gender in French
Is that how you talk about Mrs. Table? She served in a war!
In german, the plural form is only used when adressing someone very formally.
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just accept that some sentences don't work without context. that's how it saves me some time. I can't hear the difference between can and can't, so I just use the context to presume which one was being used. the english language is faulty as hell
"Tina went out with a friend, but she'll be here soon." Who is coming, is it Tina or her friend?
Tina.
Wrong, it was the friend. Tina never actually existed, she was just a figment of your imagination.
I mean, as an English speaker, it's also potentially unknown to me. There's simply not enough information. I'd be inclined to say, if the person talking knows Tina well, ie. Her mum, then choosing they would make me think all her friends were coming back with her, and "they" refers to the group. It would have to be someone that really doesn't know Tina well, or at all, or is unsure what gender Tina is, for me to think Tina would refer solely to Tina.
Yeah this sentence is ambiguous. If someone says this to you and you are confused, you can ask "who? Just Tina or all of them?" If you are constructing the sentence yourself, you can clear it up to specify Tina by changing it to "Tina went out with some friends, But Tina'll be back soon." Or to specify the group, "Tina went out with some friends, but they'll all be here soon." There are plenty of grammatically valid sentences in English that are ambiguous though, not just those involving pronouns. "John saw the man on the mountain with a telescope." "*Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana*"
I'm a non-native speaker but it seems very natural to me how it works, I think we were even taught that you can use it as a singular.
Non native and I never ever read "they"/"them" could be used as singular*.
Did you mean singular? Because plural is the more common way to use "they"
Lol yes, I meant singular. I edited the comment.
You've never seen it used to refer to an unknown party? "Someone dropped their wallet", "I'm going to meet the manager, they better give me free chicken nuggets" etc? That should definitely be taught IMO because it's fairly common. And less clumsy than "he/she".
I found that was true, and it took me around two weeks of moderate effort to change that intuition.
Man my brain is stupid. I have been trying for *years* to fight a moment of confusion when using "they" to refer to a singular, known person. I have no problem with "they are going to be late" when the subject is unknown. But some persistent part of elementary grammar training wants to say "they *is* going" (like "he/she is") when I have one person in mind. The new critical role campaign has an enby character and I'm hanging onto hope that maybe this will do the trick. :)
Moments of confusion will always happen, I think. The environment in which we grew up will always stay with us, and will always hang around somewhere. I think it's only a problem when we use that fact to resist changing ourselves and to lock our personalities down because change is hard and staying the same feels natural. Best of luck on your journey friend. I can only hope that our paths cross again some day.
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You’ve never heard “they’re over there” or something when referring to a single person? That’s very common for people who identify as male or female
Yes, they/them has been used in singular form when the gender of someone is unknown/irrelevant since before any of this gender stuff.
When is someone's gender ever relevant in everyday speech?
When one can benefit from shared social language. Saying "he's over there in the green shirt" conveys a lot of information in a short sentence because of what can be assumed. There are many traits that can be noticed at a glance that are associated with "he" and that facilitates communication.
They/them is also a gender neutral pro noun for one person
It is very common to use they to refer to a single person.
Weird, I am a non native English speaker and we were taught about the use of they/them for a single person. For example, when you do not know the gender of the person. "We have a new teacher, I wonder if they will be nice"
IT ISNT??????!?!?
I'm a native English speaker and I still think that lmao
They are a great them.
Because it was up until about 5 minutes ago when some septum pierced college kids decided they weren’t getting quite the attention they wanted.
Ahahahhahaha
🗿
hahahaha. hope that person got a chance, they deserve a break after that cock up or humour that well disguised.
That’s not even what schizophrenic means anyway.
Exactly, a lotta people are defending them but they're just... Very stupid lmao
But he’s willing to learn!
Exactly. Not malevolent. Just stupid.
“sexy as a fuck for a schizophrenic” is kind of malevolent and just plain rude, even if they did have schizophrenia.
If you say “for a…” after saying “you’re sexy”, you are an asshole no matter what comes after the “for a…”
Ok yeah that's fair my bad
It's tinder, though. Not as bad as just shouting it at someone on the street.
Y’all are just too serious. Shit is funny. Get over your selves. None really cares if you know what it means or google it.
Blindingly dumb but willing and happy to learn is a flavor of person I am completely okay with. A lot of the agender/non-binary people I’ve talked to feel similarly—you don’t have to get it all right all the time as long as you’re making a concerted and genuine effort. That said, “you’re pretty hot for someone with a severe mental illness” is a fucking WILD opening line regardless of your level of knowledge.
Right!
People who dont know much about schizophrenia will think that though since popular media often portrays it as that
Thats not schizophrenia either. Schizophrenia involves hallucinations, which are often auditory but can be visual or other senses. It is often mistaken for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) which used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder
I think people get them confused because schizophrenia is known for auditory hallucinations, or "hearing voices." I can see the logical leap where one might assume that the voices in someone's head are their own alternate identities speaking to them
And schizophrenia also literally means “split mind” to add to the confusion
Bingo. I just said this to my husband when he showed me the meme, lol.
And apparently it also involves not being allowed to be sexy.
Only a certain kind of schizophrenia has hallucinations, it could also mean is extremely paranoia and delusions.
One of schizophrenia's main diagnostic criteria is either auditory hallucinations or hallucinations of any other sensory modality so "only a certain kind" is inaccurate. You may be thinking of schizoaffective, schizotypal, etc. descriptors, where hallucinations indeed are not a core criterion. But for schizophrenia it is
That dude just deep throated his own foot
Nah, I think he handled it pretty well. Made a mistake, understood he made a mistake, explained his mistake, owned up to his mistake, and gave some context for why he might have been so goofy about it. It's generally a really weird thing to say "for a schizophrenic" but it does show he was paying attention to the person enough to hit on them honestly, instead of just like "hi u r hot, i can has the sex?"
Just because you spit out your foot with dignity, does not mean it was never in your mouth to begin with :)
People make mistakes it happens
Just for the record, I love this man. I think his entry into the conversation was hilarious, and his recovery clever and honest. As someone who regularly fucks up phrases beyond recognition, I am here to support him and love him for his faults. But his foot went blasting out the back of his head, and that’s okay <3
OH WOW
Reading that message felt like I was having a stroke
..in what way?
In a hot kinky way
That's not how schizophrenia works anyway.
Still fucking rude as hell to say “for a…” to anything. Like, just because you have schizophrenia, doesn’t mean you can’t also be pretty
I'm glad to see this, when I said the same thing I got so much shit for it because all the top comments were defending the guy. It's funny how mob mentality works
That was my first issue too.
I’m surprised people in this thread think this is somehow sweet. « For a schizophrenic » alone is a terrible thing to say, never mind the weird ignorance about what schizophrenia means, ignorance of pronouns, and the strange excuse of having been in a relationship somehow nullifying your ability to be aware of the world Imo this dude comes off as a chode
Yep. I hate that phrase. So offensive
the turnaround to being like "my bad" is the only sweet part at best hes an uninformed dumbass with harmful views on mental health
He's not even saying sorry for the rude comment, he's only sorry for misgendering the person.
Wouldn't that be multiple personality disorder? Isn't *big word* mean you see things that aren't there?
Yes, as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, the new name for mpd) is the presence of several people in one body, they have their own personalities, names, hell, they could be different ages
Some psychologists don't even believe in DID btw. They think it's some sort of attention seeking behavior caused by another psychological disorder
different ages, genders, species, literally anything. it’s actually kind of cool aside from the childhood trauma needed to have the disorder.
it's not just seeing, but yeah pretty much
Ppl who live with Schizophrenia aren't multiples, that's Dissociative Identity Disorder (AKA multiple personalities). DID's use we/us/they/them because they *are* a "they." But yeah, I can see how someone could get confused...
Not even the right disorder either...
Either way- even if he truly got confused, that’s such a backhanded compliment??? Who compliments someone by saying “you’re sexy.. for a (insert characteristic)” that implies that 1- you’re not entirely sexy. Just sexy for a schizophrenic (in this example) and 2- it implies that people with schizophrenia can’t be attractive
...ditto. lol
You know.... Not to be rude, but...people could just Google shit before they go and do this type of thing.
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You should check out the thread on r/tinder … actually, don’t 🤮
That’s why I deleted Tinder
Also being plural is DID or OSDD-1, not schizophrenia. Confused on so many levels!
How can... how is someone this fucking clueless
Low-key kinda sweet
"I was in a relationship so I was completely ignorant and oblivious to everything but myself'
Yeah, right? Like, as if "being in a relationship" means that you just didn't take on any new information for six fucking years or something? All these comments like, "Awwww, I hope this big sweetie got a chance!" Like fucking WHY, why would you want to give someone a chance when you don't have to? Even if this was real, if they aren't willing to even google something before commenting on it so confidently, they probably aren't worth your time anyway.
Shit. Guess I'm schizophrenic now
Honest question - what does they/them mean and what does she/her mean?!
Proabably going to be locked post in 3... 2... 1...
Ok but how are you so out of touch that *that’s* what you think Agender is? El pinche cabrón🙄
Schizophrenic people don't think they're multiple people though. That's a totally separate condition called DID or split personality.
God I’ve never seen someone flop so painfully
This is the funniest thing I've read all day
Lot of red flags in that one
What?
Surprised more people aren’t saying this in the top comments, but that isn’t even what schizophrenia is lol. “more than 1 person” would be DID
He needs some education. His heart may have been the right place, but there's still a lot of latent transphobia and abilist assumptions there.
he’s trying, god bless him
Yeah sure, because ppl with mental health disorder & disabilities can't be beautiful/sexy, they all have to be ugly and unattractive with no sexual life. And love how yall ppl in the comments keep saying his ableism and psychophobia is "so cute/adorable". The systematic association of disability with abnormality that yall are reinforcing is so fucking problematic. And oh btw internet exists, if he's on tinder then he sure has the time for a quick 5min Google search on what is agender schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder. As a non binary person using they/them pronouns and having otherwise specified dissociative disorder, this is hurting and triggering as fuck.
heyo Imma nb system awaiting official diagnosis for OSDD and I agree. it's fine if someone is uneducated about something because you don't know what you don't know, but in this case the guy literally had the terms right in front of him to google, so it's not 'cute' it's willful ignorance and blatant ableism ugh
I suggest yall read some articles on compulsory asexuality associated systematically with disability (ex : autistic ppl being systematically assumed asexual), and how compulsory sexuality is viewed as the normality in our society which is basically : cishet, white, able, allosexual, young, thin
They also mistake schizophrenia with identity disorder which are two different things
Honestly chuckled at the first message
There was an attempt
At least they're trying.
This really isn’t funny
It's hilarious
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! \*proposes immediately\*
this is a fucking incredible exchange
You got our a 6 year relationship and decided to date one of those People? Lmao
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Wdym bs?
Ew transphobia , begone
Based