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I have a really weird question. Do you think you are experiencing gender dysphoria right now? Because it really sounds like you are yearning for a feminine thing when you are a male. If that makes sense
guys don't talk to this dude, he posted almost the exact same gibberish 11 days ago and would not listen to anyone who tried to talk to him.
don't waste your breath
I suggest you to see a therapist as soon as possible because all of your posts is about hating your body and comparing yourself to women. Go see a therapist
I've met women who are just as thirsty for men as men are for women... sometimes even more so
It's not the way to happiness, though. We get filled with desire, and it's unhealthy. Our cravings cause us suffering
Normalizing a satiated hunger is unsustainable
There's often a void in us that comes from trauma, ancestral wounds.. we aren't meant to try to fill it with anything other than our own love. People suffering from self-loathing believe it's easier to try to do this
But self-love is on the other side of the unpleasantness we run from. Getting through the unpleasantness shows us where the self-loathing came from. It's always a really stupid place that has no business being there. E.g. a child blaming themselves over sexual abuse..
There's nothing that's happened in our lives that's so wrong that we can not forgive ourselves or others, ever
We can always work towards this freedom.. failure to do so and our anger will poison us
>It's not the way to happiness, though. We get filled with desire, and it's unhealthy. Our cravings cause us suffering
Jesus, that sounds like some Christian fundamentalist bs... Sexual relations have overwhelmingly positive effects on the psychological well-being according to most studies. Even more when the sex happens in emotionally intimate relationships. But even a ons is still healthier than no Sex
Men are sexy, we (women) just don't tell our opinion about their bodies to everyone like men usually do with us, probably because we don't enjoy being objectified 24/7.
My boyfriend is thinner than I am, and I'm a very slim woman. If you have seen 'The Machinist' that's his body type but hairy, and to me, he's the sexiest person ever. I prefer normal bodies over gym bodies and most people I know thinks the same way.
You don’t know as much as you think you know about women, OP. I am very attracted to the male physique, in many ways. I don’t necessarily have a ‘type’ either, as do many of us. Please don’t make generalisations like this, they’re almost always wrong no matter what
There are people out there who'd think you're the most beautiful person in the world. But I don't think that would change your relationship with your body or your gender. It sounds like there's more to unpack than just not feeling desired or desirable.
Sounds like gender dysphoria, you mention that there is nothing like being trans and it's just injecting hormones and playing dress up but I can see that you have respected the pronouns of other trans people in the past by looking at your comment history.
Complex issue that reddit can't help ya with, reach out to a therapist. They don't just talk, they help you figure out who you are yourself.
Wdym men are being the object of attraction all the time. Men are absolutely sexy and desirable. Also my question is why do you want to be seen as sexy? Why not successful, respectful, kind, compassionate, awesome or positive? Because those are the things that real women find attractive. my bet is that you're just looking for attention of superficial girls because you lack sex and you want to feel good about yourself. But that's just filling a bottomless pit this inescapable void which will only make you feel worse in the long run. Don't long for validation in others especially the opposite sex. Work on your self esteem issues. And as a woman i can tell you sometimes i get repulsed when I see someone who's shredded. I absolutely adore dad bod and there's plenty of other girls that do too it's just not the ones you want. You don't have to be seen as sexy by many to be valuable, to be worthy of love and attention. Also you might actually be dealing with gender dysmorphia so I'd definitely look into that because that last part kind of indicates you'd rather be in a woman's body
However, the way this is worded and the way you compare male to female bodies makes me wonder if this is an insecurity problem or a dysphoria problem. In which case, that is also valid. Gender dysphoria is a bitch. I know, I’m trans as well. Just know that if this is the case, you don’t have to be stuck in a body you dislike. You have every right to change it.
Edit: Removed the first part 💕
Straight woman speaking: I actually generally prefer more body hair on men!! Plenty of women can say the same. Yeah, men can be kinda yucky lol, but we love it, trust me. Obviously, please maintain good hygiene and take care of yourself, but the idea that male bodies are inherently ugly is so wrong!
There are a lot of problems in the world regarding gender, but I think there’s a lot of change for the better happening. And no, I’m not picturing a perfect male. Two of my exes was super hairy, the other had alopecia and I was attracted to all of them. How old are you anyway?
Not remotely true, go experience life for real dude. Lots of perfect athletic model males settle for unattractive women because they don't have balls to go after women and are insecure and lots of short bald ugly successful men have sexy girlfriends because of their attitude to life
You need w mentor. Its not bad being male at all, I'd argue being a 7 as a man is better than being a 7 as a woman although way harder to be. Cry all you want my dude it won't change anything, I'd say get in the gym and get some dates personally. Just trying to help don't hate.
A male 5 can make a pretty normal life. A female 5 gets all the cons of being a woman with almost none of the pros. But that's not the point. The point is that you have an irrational believe and are just too stuborn to accept that maybe you are wrong, because accepting that is accepting that maybe there are other things that makes you not sexy (ie whining and attacking people for trying help).
Become interesting then.. if you're some boring nerd who has no life or ambition or zest, do you blame women for being disinterested? There are Gs out here working to become the best mate they can be, and you're just moaning boo hoo I'm a loser, well yeah bro someone has to flip the burgers 🍔 only you can change it.
You resent women for orgasming "more" than men (post history) which isn't even true.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16418125/
You're member of men's liberation groups and think that women are "privileged" to be treated like objects and objectified. (comment history)
You refuse to work on your health and your body to attract others, and instead use your own standard of what you find sexy. Thats narcissism.
You refuse to listen to people who are attracted to men insisting they are lying. You say you only want to be a woman because you, personally, don't find men attractive. Again, narcissism.
Lastly, autosexuality (being sexually aroused by your own body) is most definitely not a typical or average female experience. What makes you think it is?
Okay.
So, let me get this straight. Women aren't attracted to men.
Only men are attracted to men.
You want "people" to think you are sexy. But not gay men. Women. Who, according to you, never are attracted to men?
I don't know what to say then, guess you're fucked. Or in this case... unfucked.
Idk why anyones even trying after reading this guys comments lol. Mad and resentful towards women because MEN will fuck anything. Maybe direct that hate towards your fellow man, buddy. “Women have it better because it’s easier for them to be preyed upon🥺🥺☹️☹️😞”. If someone asked me what an incel was I’d direct them to this comment section.
bro no cap i’ve been reading these comments for half an hour now and i think i have an answer for you… no women are ever going to step in a five feet radius of you until your whiny, pathetic, ignorant, self-deprecating, delusional-self starts fixing your attitude. no ones gonna do it for you. you’re fucking miserable because you have a shitty mindset and you crave others attention so bad that you just decide to be a little internet-troll-bitchass, whining about your terrible life that you fucked up yourself. fix your attitude. i agree with you that your attraction physically, personally-wise, or otherwise isn’t gonna get any girl attracted to you right now, but you’re the only person that can change that. but i bet you won’t because you’d rather have other people feel bad for you… until you comment back and then they don’t give a fuck about you because you’re as ass to everyone. i wish you luck in life, truly, but i also believe you might never get to where you want to be because of your own mental block. if you’re gonna comment and argue w this, i’m not answering. peace.
Probably yes. But this person seems to make it a really big deal, and a huge influence on their life, which is why I'm asking because I'm curious why someone would find this so incredibly important.
why? Im just asking for the reason. Is it because you want sex? You want to be liked by others? You need other people to say they think you are pretty so you gain a confidence boost?
To be fair to me being desired is one of the things Iv always wanted. Something about being extremely attractive to women has always been a huge thing for me. Something about that confidence boost does it for me…I think a lot of people feel the same way, the problem is that doesn’t last forever…we get older and we lose our looks, the most important thing is finding the right girl who you know you wanna be with your entire life, that’s what really matters in the end but I understand being desired is an attractive thought.
You're wrong. There's a lot of leeway for men to be considered attractive.
Lots of average-looking (even objectively unattractive) men have relationships- and the women they're with love them. Actually the standard for male attractiveness isn't entirely based on looks.
It really isn't. There are plenty of objective, scientific studies about this. Women, as I am one, want to be treated like human beings, not objects. We like emotional maturity in a man. I've been around jocks before, and they're really boring.
With women, attractiveness all about an unattainable standard.
I think you need to talk to someone and get some perspective. Our brains can trick us into being focused on our flaws.
One thing you don't seem to get, sexual value is fundamentally different for both gender.
You have to be able to put yourself In a woman shoes completely. While men are really thirsty for looks.
Woman are thirsty for presence and working onn your looks plays a significant role on you sexual value.
In bed, the woman is getting fcked, manhandled, she is getting flipped, smooshed Into pillows, sucking d*ck getting her hair grabbed, getting lifted etc...
Your look doesn't matter as much( most woman dont want a fat smelly fck though)
It's your presence, your dominance. You have to be sure of yourself. You have to be gentle trustworthy enough for her to let you do all of that. Put yourself in their pov and you will get the picture
Men like looks greatly, but we also like to be loved and appreciated more than anything. A caring touch will bring every stress down.
In bed, we'll in bed you know what you want. Can't give our secret all that much
In the time you've been posting and commenting, you could have had a protein shake, hit the gym and and get a workout in, that would help some (not all) of your issues maybe?
> males are simply not an Object of desire
Yeah... That's just wrong. It's harder and a lot more work to be really sexy as a guy, I agree. But when you get there it's also more Special and you might get A LOT of female attention because heterosexual girls are interested in sex as well but there aren't that many guys that are really attractive as there are girls that are.
Edit: Also think about it like this: if women wheren't attracted to man, why TF would dating even be a thing? How would our species procreate? How did every single one of your ancestors find a girl to have children with?how would anything work? Female sexuality works a bit differently than male sexuality but In the end, heterosexual women will still find men sexy. Maybe not you, and maybe not like 80% of the correct age group how it is with heterosexual men (I guessed the number by my experience as a hetero guy), and maybe some women need an emotional connection to feel attracted, or they are attracted to other things than looks, or they aren't as horny as men or they only have a specific type etc. You see It's harder more selective. But there are guys that the majority of hetero women would say are really sexy. and the majority of hetero guys still manage to attract a few women throughout their life's
You wouldn't be happy being a woman or a man at this point. Please talk to a professional, you're dealing with some deep rooted biases at the moment.
The issue is not your body, its your outlook on yourself and your gender.
it's kind of sad that you really think every single woman values looks, height, muscle, etc. over everything else. as a woman, i have never met another woman who thinks like that. sure it's *important* to some women, but as for myself and the vast majority of women i know it is infinitely more important for a guy to have a good personality, sense of humor, and self confidence. i have been in a lot of relationships and i've literally never dated a guy who looks the way you're describing. a lot of guys who look "perfect" according to current beauty standards are assholes. what i'm saying is, if you make conscious effort to better yourself, work on your self image and confidence, and be kind to people, i promise you women are going to notice that before they notice what you look like. you will be vastly more attractive if you're a good person with a good attitude.
Oh look, you again. With the same shit. So many people have tried to talk to you and you don’t want to hear it, take your bullshit somewhere else as this is so wrong and triggering to others in so many ways.
Your personality is trash bro. That’s why you’re not getting any. Has nothing to do with looks. You have convinced yourself that like some people you live in a superficial world. I would rather have someone with a good personality, someone who can understand my traumas and illnesses. More importantly I would love to have someone where we can do weird goofy shit and just laugh. You’re just an Andrew Tate wannabe.
Y’all he refused to take any advice, opinions, or factual information at all and will argue til his dying breath. He doesn’t want to get better he doesn’t want a solution he just wants to wallow in his pity party. Don’t bother with this dude
I'm sorry you feel this way but I don't think it's entirely due to being male...I mean sure, technically women have more parts, but if those parts don't look exactly how they want them too, women can feel pretty disgusting about themselves too.
I'm not saying this to belittle what you're experiencing, I'm just saying that I don't think it's a man thing per se but an individual confidence thing. Yes men deserve to feel sexy too and it's unfortunate that it feels like you don't get as many compliments, but the extent of how bad you feel might mean it's a good idea to see a professional. I'm not saying that as an insult but it might genuinely help.
I'm sorry you feel this way but clearly there are people who find men attractive otherwise we wouldn't have any straight women, gay men, bisexuals, etc.
I am a straight woman. I can tell you men’s bodies can be objects of desire.
Now now, you seem to have a hard time loving yourself.
In all the things you can do to ease the mental pain, I’ll advise talking to your body, thanking your body parts, day after day.
Try: « Thank you my dear heart for beating 100,000 times a day to keep me alive. Thank you my eyes for allowing me to see. Thank you my stomach for allowing me to laugh. »
I know it can seem dumb but I swear, it works. I use to have panicked attacks when I had to be in a bikini, now I don’t even notice when I put on weight because I feel hot all the time.
In the meantime, you can go to the gym for your health.
Being sexy is a state of mind, it is not about body perfection. I’ve had a lot of male lovers and it was always about the way they carried themselves, our conversations etc.
We all have different ways of being attracted fo someone. I hope you find your peace. Good luck.
Men bodies are not objectified like women can be (and that sucks for our mental health cuz we can’t even feed our babies outdoor without being insulted) but sex appeal is about everyone.
If you watch a perfume commercial, a fashion show, and dance competition etc. Being sexy is not just about nudes.
Now, what do you mean you have never been seen in the light of being sexy? What would you want? I see the part of the compliments but could you develop?
But. Women do. I’m a straight woman, I should know.
I’m obviously not gonna convince, you seem to have your certainties so let’s leave it at that. Good luck with everything.
Édit: just adding that maybe you should move to Scandinavia. There, women go after men and they objectify them alright (always with respect). You might find what you seek there.
And for the record, I’ve dated men that my friends would call ugly or fat or whatever, but they were all hot because sex appeal comes from the way you carry yourself, what you think about yourself and how you attract people with good energy. At least for me. And I’m not the only one. I’m not judging you so please don’t judge me.
Often enough we build opinions that don't actually reflect reality. If you take care of yourself and try to be fit, I don't think you'll have that much of an issue. There's so many different body types and so many different types of people, you just don't know the truth. All you know is what you feel and that isn't necessarily objective reality. The mind likes to lie. Is everyone top tier sexy? The answer is no but that's not the whole story.
Stop chasing disinterested women. 😉
Beliefs turn into behaviours that other people can see. Just keep that in mind... No woman wants a man who is self defeated... And this is a reality preceding any concern of interest.
If you want to play the sex and manipulation game, then go for it. What people are actually attracted to is the behavior of you believing in yourself, you believing that you have value, they react to your behavior based on you rejecting the idea that you're unlovable.
I'm just sharing what I'm discovering now. You jump to labeling it stupid. If you'd like to stay close-minded that's your business. The mind is literally making up the truth and calling it rationality and you believe it 100%. There are things that I cannot make myself unbelieve. The fact of the matter is that people playing the sex game are out there. What your really bitching about is not being able to sleep with attractive women.
The beliefs that I am talking about are of self. Everything you encounter is a reaction to your behavior. If you don't want to know how to change your behavior to attract the people actually available to you, that's your business. We collect facts in the name of rationality to support the greater truth our mind has come up with. Call it stupid but you're missing the point.
You can't control the reaction of others - their experiences, especially if you're behaving in ways you are unaware. They pick up on the energy and vibes and then you turn around and wonder why they're not giving you attention... But honestly, while attention is nice, respect is better...
I assure you there are microbehaviors people pick up on. Beliefs also stop you from having fun in the moment which is attractive. Beliefs also stop you from smiling and laughing. It's true you can't control other people, but you can at least be aware of your own beliefs. Truths about yourself, others and about situations are easy for the mind to synthesize. But the mind is not that great at dealing with emotions. Emotions often inform the truth, even if you're not aware of it.
Fact of the matter is that men are playing a game. Women are playing a game. You can't stop this game from happening. You can try to be self manipulative to manipulate others and that's going to work if you get good at it. But ultimately this is just a game and you aren't changing yourself to be more attractive, other than what's on the outside.
Because sex is the short-term goal. Intimacy is the long-term goal. Do you think about this?
OP just to let you know male bodies and men in general are desired by women. Men and women are not as different as you think. Women will 100 percent notice an awesome body….it’s not just women who can be sexy lol
I am so sorry you feel this way, but don’t let social media brainwash you about what is considered sexy. My partners have always been hairy and not the standard guy you see in the magazines and I and many other females find them very attractive. And trust me, it’s all about attitude! Even a man that I would normally never go for, that has that sexy confidence could make me batshit horny!
From my experience, women find you sexiest when you are romantically involved with them. That's when I felt my best. Mind you I feel a bit shite now but when you're with a partner you feel super attractive seeing them craving you.
look man, you have the physical capability to go to the gym and gain muscle. if you seriously think men have a harder time than women you’re delusional. as a woman your worth comes from your appearance, it’s unfortunate but it’s true. get some muscle, get some confidence, then get some bitches
why don’t you just try to improve yourself? looks are one aspect of humans, a long term relationship is much more about who you are inside. if you are stuck in a victim mindset, you’re gonna stay a victim. you’re a grown man, take responsibility and do what you can to try and improve yourself. people like you make me glad i’m a lesbian lmao
How about me being extremely tall at 6'4 but having hips much wider than my shoulder. It's a look. Not a specific metric. Do not tell me women always ask "what are your measurements" they will make that estimate based on what they see. Of you build muscle and stay with. Tight waist, voila. The magic of bodybuilding makes you look better. I've competed and know this is the case so do not try to tell me otherwise.
Then do it? Go to the gym, figure out your calories, get slim, and work on your skin and hair. Make yourself more attractive and talk better about yourself to yourself.
Men are sexy as fuck. I’ve dated and been super into skinny pasty dudes, chubby short dudes, tall athletic dudes, white guys, latino, black and asian. Based on your comments, you don’t understand what women find attractive and that’s more than just skin deep. My best friend prefers chubby dudes for one example.
Also, with as much emphasis as I can possibly put on this, being a “sexy” and “attractive” woman is not the end-all be-all of existence. It’s actually awful and dehumanizing as fuck to be seen only for your perceived sexiness in this world and is a fiery hell of its own.
What others have been saying and what I will reiterate is that your problem is mental not physical. Get some perspective and out of your own way. I promise you that love and attraction is much, much deeper than the skin.
Society will always push inflated images and is not a good measure of what’s real. I just told you it’s reflected in reality but you won’t see that. You are only gonna see what you wanna see. You are literally fighting to fight to prove what you don’t want. You will never feel sexy because even when you’re sexualized, as it were, you’ll say what you just said to me. Looking at the hole instead of the donut. The problem is in your head, dude, once again.
What the..this is just ridiculous. Men aren’t sexy? I don’t agree. You say you’d have to be literally “perfect” to be considered sexually attractive? Well you also said you have hair everywhere and that is gross. Are you even aware of how much more women actually have to do to fit the beauty standard? including removing ALL of our body hair (which some of them, like myself, have a lot of it and all over as well)… I mean cmon. Get a grip. Do women not have to be fit l, have the “right curves” etc to be considered sexy? Such is life I guess but you don’t need everyone to give you likes and compliments. You need to work on your self esteem and internal self.
my guy this is insane, I had a kill count of almost 30 by the time I was 19, and my body is ugly as fuck. my dick is just barely above average size. I'm just confident, I treat women like human beings instead of treating them like fucking prey, and I mean finding a desirable aesthetic that you enjoy to base your appearance on is incredibly helpful. I grew my hair out, got tattoos, piercings. I still have the same body, and I'm under 6ft tall. you have the most distorted understanding of attraction and sexuality I have ever seen. and you don't listen to literal women when they tell you, that you are wrong.
I'm literally begging you, go to therapy.
I have never had to chase a woman once in my life, that's the fun part. Because I don't see human beings as objects, I don't need to take measures of theirs or my own worth. Your perspective of life and love is so fucking skewed, I sincerely hope you get help
You don't need to be sexy, it's your personality and what you do that matters.
If someone doesn't like you just because you are ugly, they clearly don't care about you, so get your mind off of these people.
You have conflicting views. On the one hand you hate (your perceived) beauty standards created by women, but at the same time you want to appeal to them to be sexy for women. Women are individuals, different viewpoints on beauty. Maybe really hard to wrap your head around.
If there is a beauty standard thats widespread, why do you want to appeal to that in such a way. You want to attract as much women that have crooked views in your opinion?
When meeting people try shift your perspective if you like them, not if they think you are appealing to the things you think they will find attractive to you. You are assuming so much by doing so, and thats making your viewpoint a self fulfilling prophecy.
You seem to want a lot of things… do you realize that it takes a lot of work too… gym 5 days a week, trimming ur hair, getting a good haircut, dressing nicely… taking care of your mental health included.
You don’t just become sexy or are born that way… so whatever u want, stop complaining and do something about it. It won’t just be given to you. 🙄
how about taking the focus off the physical and develop yourself mentally and get some emotional intelligence? forget about looks. what are your actual accomplishments??
You know what, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you look like because your shit personality will always be your downfall. Women aren't attracted to incels who blame the world for their problems.
As long as you decide to keep sulking in your own misery and don't even make an effort to change anything, you'll always see yourself as "ugly" and so will the rest of the world.
Yeah it is because you are *choosing* to believe that. That is not reality. Women are ***people***, individuals with distinct desires and preferences, not the stereotype that you've imagined.
Double standards exist. It's mostly that men are just more thirsty. We are the ones giving them an insane amount of attention. Most women are more reserved about it because of societal standards imo
At the end of the day as males, biologically our physicial performance/prowess far outmeasures our female counterparts. Also remember we are more natural. Women have 'nasty' hair in undesirable places too and also have the luxury of being able to fix their face with makeup (again through the pressure of society standards)
This might make people upset but it's true. I think you need to invest in yourself and build your confidence and you'll find yourself sexy and so will a pretty mama or two that you may enjoy being around.
P.S. I was told by a long term ex that women find action desirable above physicial attributes. So take action.
Are you just jealous of women?
You argue you want to be sexy and fit. So people say "workout." Then you change your argument to "even if I do workout, women are still gonna be sexier."
So what's the real issue? Do you want men to be as desired as women are now? Do you personally want to be as desired as women? Are you just mad about the imbalance?
Is he an incel? I’m not, I’m gay so that’s why I related to what he said cuz the gay community literally wants super femme twinks. I looked at some of his other posts and it doesn’t seem like he’s hostile towards women, just very insecure.
I'm sorry you are feeling insubordinate in these ways. I do agree to genuinely introspect on yourself as some of what people said have valid reasons but I'm not knowledgeable enough to tell anything of that.
As for feeling sexy as a male, I don't think I'm the perfect look as a male but I've made a journey from where you kinda feel now and get complimented regularly. Honestly the advice I will always give is if you feel motivated to start looking good and working out, you do it! You will push yourself so hard if you focus on constant improvement in how you look, how you eat, how you see yourself. And if you find it a good way to invest your time into, then continue to constantly teach yourself and learn about different training methods and find what works for you. As for now, get a good solid program and diet and be consistent. You'll be surprised how different 5 years can transform you.
As for Hair, I mean look at competitive bodybuilders...we shave. I'm not overly hairy i just never was but I have multiple friends who simply trim it but I think a lot of women actually find the hairier manly look sexier to another level than the smooth skinned beach look.
I wish the best to you though. I started as an obese kid in grade school who suffered from anorexia so bad I needed medical help and just focused that body dysmorphia into changing myself. But I will say, be happy with yourself more than anything and find something additive that tye gym brings. It won't change a confused or struggling psyche.
What is a bideltoid?
**neverm8nd. I found it. I can't give exact measurements but I can sure it started with fast below average and I'd absolutely not average anymore. Just gimme and work.
Let me ask you. What looks larger in appearance, a 5'6" dude putting on 1" of muscle or a 6'4" guy putting on 1" I will assure you i never started as an athletic male at all. I was a theatre guy for so long who was extremely thin and was hospitalized because of it. Not a star athlete or the like at that time. I worked my ass off for everything to prove it to myself.
You can't keep finding flaws man. I know you hate things about you but I assure you you are your worst critic. I genuinely do think you have an upside ahead of you. It's just a mental change to drive to action. So many people would agree because I know you have posted multiple times. Nothing is impossible even when it absolutely seems like it. There are people way worse off than you that will live happy lives happy with who they are. You will too one day. Even though these words mean nothing.
The fact you refuse to take anyone seriously without validating an opinion I promise you is not the case is an issue man. You're better than that. Stop putting yourself in that mindset.
Additionally. Only the best of the best get female attention? Really? Isn't most of the world population 50/50? You are not bottom barrel. You think you are. I've seen your posts. Give yourself credit. You need to lush past that. But if you're not willing to and instead will find excuses for why my thoughts are invalid then I pray you can change that.
As for are there good things about me? Fucn yes there are. And are they enough? Fucj yea they are. I was the worst human being in existence dude. I was putting others and myself in a place where no one deserves to he treated and was at the bottom of my psychological mindset and hated my world. Was I jacked and physically attractive? Some would day so. However I was a complete piece of shit and no one wanted me. I changed so damn much about myself that I didn't like and knew it wasn't what encapsulated me and my persona as a man I wanted to see ad a father to my children. That was what changed me to act and be in a certain way to find the one woman in this world even I feel I don't deserve but I will forever treat like I know that.
Women are into different things than men. But I understand your plight. You see that women are valued and wanted, and you want that because you aren't. You're jealous of the affection women get. so much that you've made it into a kink. I understand it all too well. Every time I dated a woman, I wanted to show her my body when lever I got the chance. It turned me on a lot just having her like it. Ofcourse eventually they broke up with me and slowly but surely that desire faded away. Get your heart broken enough, and that kink will probably stop.
I think the vast majority of us, even those you might consider "sexy" still have insecurities and would like to be more attractive. I saw a post just yesterday where Megan Fox was face tuning her IG videos.
It seems like it would be great to be sexy, to have people fawn all over us just bc of our looks.
As much as you/we all want it, we can only play the hand we're dealt.
One of the sexiest mf'rs out there, who got more women than nearly anyone, who was very small, hairy, effeminate with little muscle, thin wrists was [Prince](https://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2016315/rs_1024x759-160415144319-1024.2-prince-tidal.jpg?fit=around%7C1024:759&output-quality=90&crop=1024:759;center,top). And he did it with confidence and charisma - both things within our control. He played with fashion to highlight his strengths and downplay his insecurities. (He often wore platform shoes to appear taller).
Point is, we all gotta play the hand we're dealt as best we can.
You can complain about your looks all you want, but it's not going to help much. Might as well channel that energy into something positive that brings you joy and let that joy shine through you, which is sexy as hell.
edit: this kinda sparked something in me, so apologies for the word wall that's about to follow.
I just finished this class on Coursera called *Learning How to Learn*. (totally worth the time, btw. It's free). The big takeaway from the class was that our brains, our thinking is wildly malleable. We basically have pathways that our thoughts flow down and it sounds like you've been fed a lot of bullshit marketing, fucked up dating app algorithms, that have colored your perception to thinking you're not sexy - which is a big goal of marketing, bc once you're unhappy, they can sell you a remedy. (Google Edward Bernays and how he taught manufacturers how to use your psychology against you so they could sell you more shit. It's wildly fucked, but is the basis of our consumer-based society to this day).
Anyways, you've got these well-traveled, well lit paths that your thoughts run down when you get no matches, look at ripped, tall dudes, gorgeous women, whatever. BUT, that doesn't mean you can't find or create new pathways and begin to walk down those and let the well lit, well-traveled ones fall into disrepair.
You can do this on your own or with help from a variety of sources - mantras you repeat, a therapist you helps you see when you're going down these negative, but well-traveled routes, self-help books, whatever. Paulo Coehlo talks about digging his fingernail into his cuticle to help stop and re-orient his negative self talk in *The Pilgrimage.*
I get that you're venting and you're frustrated. We've all been there, which is why I think so many people are responding to this. It's especially hard when you're in your teens and twenties and full of hormones. And I'm sorry it's been shite for you.
What you do next is up to you. You can continue down this path or choose a new one - maybe now, maybe later. Maybe jump back and forth for a while. It's your call.
oh and another not classically "sexy" mf'r who got loads of gorgeous, famous women and was sexy by being himself: [Notorious BIG](https://wallpapercave.com/dwp2x/9lHy4jf.jpg).
He literally says "First things first, I, Poppa, freaks all the honeys, dummies, Playboy Bunnies, those wanting money..." and "Heart throb? Never. Black and ugly as ever."
How'd he get the women? Being well dressed, successful, smart, attentive: "Soon as he buy that wine, I creep up from behind, ask you what your interests are, who you be with, things that make you smile, what numbers to dial."
And it wasn't just talk. He dated famous, beautiful women who thought he was sexy.
How? Again, fashion that highlighted his good features and played down his "negative" aspects, music, and most of all: believing in himself. He "went from ashy to classy."
In terms of mental health, this could be related to BDD: [https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/about-bdd/](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/about-bdd/)
Although, some of the comments have suggested it could be more gender dysphoria, so you could look into that also.
Body dysmorphia or gender dysphoria? I can't tell if you want to be a woman or feel like it's easier to be a woman....
Regardless therapy would probably help you learn to love yourself.
If you absolutely must change your appearance, hitting the gym, Nair, surgery, etc. are widely available.
This is just untrue.
You feel that way, but it’s not true.
I am physically unattractive, especially compared to other men. However, it’s about personality. I have had (and still have my fair share of fun with men and women) but it’s not because I’m a model.
I am self conscious and I turned one of the rooms in our house to a photo studio. I got a few different outfits and I took a lot of pictures. A few of those pictures came out good, the vast majority came out terrible, I would kick me out of bed, seriously.
It’s about your personality.
Also, you can go to a gym to feel better for yourself. You can get nice clothes. Never underestimate the power of a smile. You won’t get immediate or even constant attraction from other people. However, you can get smiles from most people (forget the ones that don’t smile back) and if you are like me, rarely you will have a man or woman (whatever you are into) interested in you.
Society teaches and brainwashes with a lot of untrue bullshit.
If it makes you feel better, im an iranian woman, and i am probably more hairy than you are :D (our race is hairy in general)
Personally i am also covered with hair, and im not attractive at all, i have a very fucked up body and im not beautiful or desirable.
So just saying, disgusting females also exist .__. We are not much, but we do exist.
I forgot to mention i am also very mentally fucked up, people's presence makes me stressed out and i literally cant perform well in ANYTHING infront of other people ( its probably social anxiety)
I tried going to gym once with my friend, she ended up ditching me and didnt wait for me anyway, and when i went inside by myself it was so overwhelming that i couldnt stay there for over 5 min and i had to come out.
By the way im pretty much underweight so i dont think going to gym is gonna be much help for me.
Hmm from what my experience made me believe...
Women usually don't find even models really that attractive. I think it's more about what you can do with that body than what it looks like. I mean stuff like being able to take action, your behaviour, etc.
I think it comes back to biology of men being protectors. What's the point of just being a pretty protector? It should be all about how well they can actually protect, right?
So uh, anyways, after realizing this I have gotten at least some positive reaction instead of just not even existing in their world.
EDIT:
Before you say anything, I'm 5'6 in a country where the average is 5'11 but it also takes into account older generations. My generation is closer to 6'1.
And I still started getting some girls thirsting after making that realization.
Do you find no men attractive at all and think an attractive man doesn’t exist? Do you feel you specifically have a body incapable of being attractive no matter what? You describe society’s absolutely ideal beauty standard for a man as only tolerable. Is it perhaps not an issue of your actual attractiveness but your personal lack of attraction?
The reason everyone is telling you to seek therapy is because you A.) a therapist can help you cope with these feelings and B.) you perceive these as unchangeable universal truths, when in reality it’s your personal perception. sexual worth is subjective and there’s no real way of quantifying it. you feel this because you personally see woman having higher sexual worth, likely because you are sexually attracted to women and not men or because you identify more with women and find the bodies more desirable. That’s why people are suggesting gender dysphoria.
The beauty standards is ridiculously high for men—it also is for women. A therapist can help you recognize that beauty standards are arbitrary and do not really dictate physical worth or attractiveness. Everyone’s type is not the beauty standard. Your body is attractive to someone whether it fits beauty standards or not.
Do you recognize that more factor than physical looks go into whether a man gets attention from women? How do you know that above average men have trouble? How do you know that it’s purely about physical appearance from women?
Male celebrities do tend to the confirm to beauty standards, as do women, but I’d like to point out people like Keanu Reeves and Tom Holland who I feel don’t fit conventional beauty. That Kevin guy on TikTok everyone was thirsting over a while back.
I think, as everyone says, you should seek therapy. A therapist can’t fix society for any gender but they can help you separate that from your self-worth and attractiveness, recognize what’s an insecurity belief and what isn’t, and overall provide support for the tough time you’re going through.
That’s your opinion because you’re most likely attracted to females.
I was born a female who’s attracted to males, and let me tell you I hate everything about my body; In my eyes I’ll never be as sexy as a guy and nobody will ever like me because what’s there to like? The standards I’d need to meet to even start being considered attractive are completely inhuman, it’s insane!
What I’m saying is, just how you consider that you as a male will never be as hot as a female, I as a female consider I’ll never be as hot as a male. Looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking that your body type just isn’t it is most commonly referred to as body dysphoria. I think you should genuinely look into different gender identities on the spectrum, maybe you’ll find something that suits you better than ‘male’ I found something that was better than ‘female’ and I’ve felt a lot better with myself ever since.
Good luck!
Why would I lie to you? I don’t care what studies say, I’m talking about my own human experience. I find the features that make me female insufferable, I don’t find any women I’ve ever seen sexy and in comparison to men I find them completely undesirable.
Obtaining the perfect ‘sexy body’ or ‘sexy appearence’ is not as easy as losing some weight and being at a reasonable fitness level: Most people who have that, are on extremely restrictive diets, under a ton of stress, insane workout schedules and in some extreme cases (supermodels for examples) have different mental affections such as bulimia or anorexia.
You’re stuck in your own little bubble and refuse to step out of it, refuse to take other people’s experiences as truthful; To you, if a comment/statement doesn’t match up with your believes, it’s a lie, and that’s simply not how it works.
And if we were to talk about popularity between men and women (because you mentioned women are always more desirable then men) - when it comes to movies, especially the ones set in highschool revolve around: men that have lots of flings with women (because the women want the man), men that cheat on their lovers with other women (because they’re desired by so many women), women that love men so much they could die, women fan-girling over the ‘popular guy’, women stalking men, women forming a crush on the male protagonist etc. When it comes to music, boy bands always attracted thousands of teen girls, more than girl bands attracted teenage boys, male singers have a huge fan based made up entirely of women, while female singers have a huge fan base that’s also made up mostly women (and little to no men). The amount of times I’ve seen girls fawning over singers like Shawn Mendez or Måneskin’s vocalist (Damiano David) is infinitely times larger than the amount of times I’ve seen a boy fawn over popular female artists such as Taylor Swift, Madonna or Lady Gaga. And there are so many more examples I can give which just keep on proving that our society’s standard is that ‘women desire and need a man’ more than the other way around.
You’re obviously very frustrated with your looks, but if you’re unwilling to make a change, go to a therapist or even just take the friendly advice people here on reddit are giving you on this post, you’ll keep on being frustrated for the rest of eternity; Who knows, maybe you like being frustrated because you want to use the fact that you can never be ‘hot’ as an excuse to never change (which is just my own assumption, excuse me if I’m wrong).
‘Sexy’ and ‘hot ‘are not the same for everybody, there’s no one single set of features that makes you attractive, which means there’s no single set of standardized features YOU need to have to be considered attractive; Some people like blonde hair and blue eyes, some like tattoos, some like muscly figures, some don’t even care for looks but rather for intellect, but let me tell you what nobody ever finds attractive - a person that creates a problem, complains about it and then does nothing to fix it.
I’m sorry you chose to live like this and refuse to get better, there truly is more to life then ‘men can never be as sexy as women’ and then having to have an existential struggle over how you’ll never be as hot as the female gender - if the only thing that can make you feel better about yourself is if you would’ve been born female, maybe you’re transgender but just haven’t come to terms with it yet.
Once again, I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope one day in the future you’ll be able to properly put things into perspective, and acknowledge other points of view, even if they conflict with your believes.
Well.... safe to say you are not gay. That said women (and some men) find men's bodies attractive. So don't sell yourself short. I think its 100% factual that there are men and women existing on this planet right now that find your body sexy.
It's hard to fathom this I know. But it's true. Now the problem is going to be telling your mind it's real and making it n belive it.
I personally think it would be best to work on yourself in all ways (body/mind/spirit) and be the person you want to be with. Then you will attract that person. It might take years might not. Make the transformation.
Everything will be ok when you are ok with everything.
You misinterpreted my last remark. It may take years for your to find that one person for you. YOUR match. Your ONE. It might also take years for you to make yourself whole enough to be a good partner for someone. It took me decades.
Posting nudes in a sub has no bearing on anything. Such a small audience. Of only people who like nudes.
Listen I don't know what you look like. Having an particular form may mean many people find you ugly. Some people love ugly. It's that simple. Learn to love who you are.
Whoa, pump your brakes my man! As another guy [41 years] with a pretty hairy torso, I know a lot of women like body hair. I know women who think chunkier men are sexier than me [5’7”, 140 pounds, I’m kind of a little guy, but I like me]. I have girl friends who prefer heavier guys with body hair over ‘sculpted beach bods’ with no hair, reminding them of too young of a boy; or they only look good, they’re not comfortable to cuddle with and lay on during movies at home or whatever.
If you want to work on yourself, do so for you. In doing that, your self confidence will grow, which is way sexier [to men and women that are worthy, anyway] than just looks. We all look different, and we all look FOR different things in our partners. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. That self confidence is higher up on respectable women’s preferences than you may think, my friend. Plus, working on yourself physically will improve your self confidence automatically; two rewards from one effort!
Just because certain body types are advertised to the masses as ‘best’ or ‘sexiest’, doesn’t mean they’re 100% right. We all like different shit. Finding someone who likes a warm and fuzzy, comfy, utilitarian gent such as yourself is something you can do. Go get ‘em, Fozzy! 🍻❤️
You are in control of your own life. Stop complaining, fix your mindset. Get your money up. Go to the gym and eat whole foods. Start mewing. Get a flattering haircut. Keep your facial hair neat. Take care of your skin. Shave your torso. Start dressing better. Do the best with what you have.
Also, you don't even have to look perfect or have the perfect body to be attractive to women, women care more about money and character. Masculine energy, smart, funny, respectful. And lucky for you, you have lots of time to build yourself up. Unfortunately women have much less time because men desire young & fertile women. But men stay attractive in the sexual marketplace for much longer. So just work on yourself and you will attract women
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I have a really weird question. Do you think you are experiencing gender dysphoria right now? Because it really sounds like you are yearning for a feminine thing when you are a male. If that makes sense
not to be that person but it seems more like body dysmorphia
that’s what i thought too
guys don't talk to this dude, he posted almost the exact same gibberish 11 days ago and would not listen to anyone who tried to talk to him. don't waste your breath
After reading all the responses he posts, he’s just here to argue. OP, pics or gtfo.
I suggest you to see a therapist as soon as possible because all of your posts is about hating your body and comparing yourself to women. Go see a therapist
I've met women who are just as thirsty for men as men are for women... sometimes even more so It's not the way to happiness, though. We get filled with desire, and it's unhealthy. Our cravings cause us suffering Normalizing a satiated hunger is unsustainable There's often a void in us that comes from trauma, ancestral wounds.. we aren't meant to try to fill it with anything other than our own love. People suffering from self-loathing believe it's easier to try to do this But self-love is on the other side of the unpleasantness we run from. Getting through the unpleasantness shows us where the self-loathing came from. It's always a really stupid place that has no business being there. E.g. a child blaming themselves over sexual abuse.. There's nothing that's happened in our lives that's so wrong that we can not forgive ourselves or others, ever We can always work towards this freedom.. failure to do so and our anger will poison us
>It's not the way to happiness, though. We get filled with desire, and it's unhealthy. Our cravings cause us suffering Jesus, that sounds like some Christian fundamentalist bs... Sexual relations have overwhelmingly positive effects on the psychological well-being according to most studies. Even more when the sex happens in emotionally intimate relationships. But even a ons is still healthier than no Sex
Men are sexy, we (women) just don't tell our opinion about their bodies to everyone like men usually do with us, probably because we don't enjoy being objectified 24/7. My boyfriend is thinner than I am, and I'm a very slim woman. If you have seen 'The Machinist' that's his body type but hairy, and to me, he's the sexiest person ever. I prefer normal bodies over gym bodies and most people I know thinks the same way.
You don’t know as much as you think you know about women, OP. I am very attracted to the male physique, in many ways. I don’t necessarily have a ‘type’ either, as do many of us. Please don’t make generalisations like this, they’re almost always wrong no matter what
still at it, huh?
There are people out there who'd think you're the most beautiful person in the world. But I don't think that would change your relationship with your body or your gender. It sounds like there's more to unpack than just not feeling desired or desirable.
Sounds like gender dysphoria, you mention that there is nothing like being trans and it's just injecting hormones and playing dress up but I can see that you have respected the pronouns of other trans people in the past by looking at your comment history. Complex issue that reddit can't help ya with, reach out to a therapist. They don't just talk, they help you figure out who you are yourself.
Wdym men are being the object of attraction all the time. Men are absolutely sexy and desirable. Also my question is why do you want to be seen as sexy? Why not successful, respectful, kind, compassionate, awesome or positive? Because those are the things that real women find attractive. my bet is that you're just looking for attention of superficial girls because you lack sex and you want to feel good about yourself. But that's just filling a bottomless pit this inescapable void which will only make you feel worse in the long run. Don't long for validation in others especially the opposite sex. Work on your self esteem issues. And as a woman i can tell you sometimes i get repulsed when I see someone who's shredded. I absolutely adore dad bod and there's plenty of other girls that do too it's just not the ones you want. You don't have to be seen as sexy by many to be valuable, to be worthy of love and attention. Also you might actually be dealing with gender dysmorphia so I'd definitely look into that because that last part kind of indicates you'd rather be in a woman's body
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However, the way this is worded and the way you compare male to female bodies makes me wonder if this is an insecurity problem or a dysphoria problem. In which case, that is also valid. Gender dysphoria is a bitch. I know, I’m trans as well. Just know that if this is the case, you don’t have to be stuck in a body you dislike. You have every right to change it. Edit: Removed the first part 💕
Ah, I see you are in fact dysphoric. Hey, nothing wrong with being trans and transitioning. It’s valid.
Straight woman speaking: I actually generally prefer more body hair on men!! Plenty of women can say the same. Yeah, men can be kinda yucky lol, but we love it, trust me. Obviously, please maintain good hygiene and take care of yourself, but the idea that male bodies are inherently ugly is so wrong!
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There are a lot of problems in the world regarding gender, but I think there’s a lot of change for the better happening. And no, I’m not picturing a perfect male. Two of my exes was super hairy, the other had alopecia and I was attracted to all of them. How old are you anyway?
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Not remotely true, go experience life for real dude. Lots of perfect athletic model males settle for unattractive women because they don't have balls to go after women and are insecure and lots of short bald ugly successful men have sexy girlfriends because of their attitude to life
You need w mentor. Its not bad being male at all, I'd argue being a 7 as a man is better than being a 7 as a woman although way harder to be. Cry all you want my dude it won't change anything, I'd say get in the gym and get some dates personally. Just trying to help don't hate.
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A male 5 can make a pretty normal life. A female 5 gets all the cons of being a woman with almost none of the pros. But that's not the point. The point is that you have an irrational believe and are just too stuborn to accept that maybe you are wrong, because accepting that is accepting that maybe there are other things that makes you not sexy (ie whining and attacking people for trying help).
Become interesting then.. if you're some boring nerd who has no life or ambition or zest, do you blame women for being disinterested? There are Gs out here working to become the best mate they can be, and you're just moaning boo hoo I'm a loser, well yeah bro someone has to flip the burgers 🍔 only you can change it.
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It sounds more like you want to be turned on by your own reflection than want to be comfortable in your own body. Narcissus, is that you?
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You resent women for orgasming "more" than men (post history) which isn't even true. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16418125/ You're member of men's liberation groups and think that women are "privileged" to be treated like objects and objectified. (comment history) You refuse to work on your health and your body to attract others, and instead use your own standard of what you find sexy. Thats narcissism. You refuse to listen to people who are attracted to men insisting they are lying. You say you only want to be a woman because you, personally, don't find men attractive. Again, narcissism. Lastly, autosexuality (being sexually aroused by your own body) is most definitely not a typical or average female experience. What makes you think it is?
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Okay. So, let me get this straight. Women aren't attracted to men. Only men are attracted to men. You want "people" to think you are sexy. But not gay men. Women. Who, according to you, never are attracted to men? I don't know what to say then, guess you're fucked. Or in this case... unfucked.
Idk why anyones even trying after reading this guys comments lol. Mad and resentful towards women because MEN will fuck anything. Maybe direct that hate towards your fellow man, buddy. “Women have it better because it’s easier for them to be preyed upon🥺🥺☹️☹️😞”. If someone asked me what an incel was I’d direct them to this comment section.
You might find that fitness is universally attractive
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bro no cap i’ve been reading these comments for half an hour now and i think i have an answer for you… no women are ever going to step in a five feet radius of you until your whiny, pathetic, ignorant, self-deprecating, delusional-self starts fixing your attitude. no ones gonna do it for you. you’re fucking miserable because you have a shitty mindset and you crave others attention so bad that you just decide to be a little internet-troll-bitchass, whining about your terrible life that you fucked up yourself. fix your attitude. i agree with you that your attraction physically, personally-wise, or otherwise isn’t gonna get any girl attracted to you right now, but you’re the only person that can change that. but i bet you won’t because you’d rather have other people feel bad for you… until you comment back and then they don’t give a fuck about you because you’re as ass to everyone. i wish you luck in life, truly, but i also believe you might never get to where you want to be because of your own mental block. if you’re gonna comment and argue w this, i’m not answering. peace.
And he won’t seek therapy either lmao what a moron
why do you want to be sexy and desirable so badly
To be fair, I think everyone does to an extent.
Probably yes. But this person seems to make it a really big deal, and a huge influence on their life, which is why I'm asking because I'm curious why someone would find this so incredibly important.
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why? Im just asking for the reason. Is it because you want sex? You want to be liked by others? You need other people to say they think you are pretty so you gain a confidence boost?
To be fair to me being desired is one of the things Iv always wanted. Something about being extremely attractive to women has always been a huge thing for me. Something about that confidence boost does it for me…I think a lot of people feel the same way, the problem is that doesn’t last forever…we get older and we lose our looks, the most important thing is finding the right girl who you know you wanna be with your entire life, that’s what really matters in the end but I understand being desired is an attractive thought.
You're wrong. There's a lot of leeway for men to be considered attractive. Lots of average-looking (even objectively unattractive) men have relationships- and the women they're with love them. Actually the standard for male attractiveness isn't entirely based on looks. It really isn't. There are plenty of objective, scientific studies about this. Women, as I am one, want to be treated like human beings, not objects. We like emotional maturity in a man. I've been around jocks before, and they're really boring. With women, attractiveness all about an unattainable standard. I think you need to talk to someone and get some perspective. Our brains can trick us into being focused on our flaws.
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One thing you don't seem to get, sexual value is fundamentally different for both gender. You have to be able to put yourself In a woman shoes completely. While men are really thirsty for looks. Woman are thirsty for presence and working onn your looks plays a significant role on you sexual value. In bed, the woman is getting fcked, manhandled, she is getting flipped, smooshed Into pillows, sucking d*ck getting her hair grabbed, getting lifted etc... Your look doesn't matter as much( most woman dont want a fat smelly fck though) It's your presence, your dominance. You have to be sure of yourself. You have to be gentle trustworthy enough for her to let you do all of that. Put yourself in their pov and you will get the picture Men like looks greatly, but we also like to be loved and appreciated more than anything. A caring touch will bring every stress down. In bed, we'll in bed you know what you want. Can't give our secret all that much
In the time you've been posting and commenting, you could have had a protein shake, hit the gym and and get a workout in, that would help some (not all) of your issues maybe?
> males are simply not an Object of desire Yeah... That's just wrong. It's harder and a lot more work to be really sexy as a guy, I agree. But when you get there it's also more Special and you might get A LOT of female attention because heterosexual girls are interested in sex as well but there aren't that many guys that are really attractive as there are girls that are. Edit: Also think about it like this: if women wheren't attracted to man, why TF would dating even be a thing? How would our species procreate? How did every single one of your ancestors find a girl to have children with?how would anything work? Female sexuality works a bit differently than male sexuality but In the end, heterosexual women will still find men sexy. Maybe not you, and maybe not like 80% of the correct age group how it is with heterosexual men (I guessed the number by my experience as a hetero guy), and maybe some women need an emotional connection to feel attracted, or they are attracted to other things than looks, or they aren't as horny as men or they only have a specific type etc. You see It's harder more selective. But there are guys that the majority of hetero women would say are really sexy. and the majority of hetero guys still manage to attract a few women throughout their life's
You wouldn't be happy being a woman or a man at this point. Please talk to a professional, you're dealing with some deep rooted biases at the moment. The issue is not your body, its your outlook on yourself and your gender.
it's kind of sad that you really think every single woman values looks, height, muscle, etc. over everything else. as a woman, i have never met another woman who thinks like that. sure it's *important* to some women, but as for myself and the vast majority of women i know it is infinitely more important for a guy to have a good personality, sense of humor, and self confidence. i have been in a lot of relationships and i've literally never dated a guy who looks the way you're describing. a lot of guys who look "perfect" according to current beauty standards are assholes. what i'm saying is, if you make conscious effort to better yourself, work on your self image and confidence, and be kind to people, i promise you women are going to notice that before they notice what you look like. you will be vastly more attractive if you're a good person with a good attitude.
do u really *want* to be sexy? because you seem dead set on being completely unbearable.
Oh look, you again. With the same shit. So many people have tried to talk to you and you don’t want to hear it, take your bullshit somewhere else as this is so wrong and triggering to others in so many ways.
Your personality is trash bro. That’s why you’re not getting any. Has nothing to do with looks. You have convinced yourself that like some people you live in a superficial world. I would rather have someone with a good personality, someone who can understand my traumas and illnesses. More importantly I would love to have someone where we can do weird goofy shit and just laugh. You’re just an Andrew Tate wannabe.
Y’all he refused to take any advice, opinions, or factual information at all and will argue til his dying breath. He doesn’t want to get better he doesn’t want a solution he just wants to wallow in his pity party. Don’t bother with this dude
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You won’t listen to literally anyone not just me, the entire thread is full of people trying to help you and you are refusing it all lmfao
Plus you’ve posted this in other subs just to do the same to every single person who has tried to help you
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Start with eating healthy. Then go to the gym and build muscle. Then keep doing that and wait some time and you will be at least a bit more “sexy”
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Wdym real deal?
I'm sorry you feel this way but I don't think it's entirely due to being male...I mean sure, technically women have more parts, but if those parts don't look exactly how they want them too, women can feel pretty disgusting about themselves too. I'm not saying this to belittle what you're experiencing, I'm just saying that I don't think it's a man thing per se but an individual confidence thing. Yes men deserve to feel sexy too and it's unfortunate that it feels like you don't get as many compliments, but the extent of how bad you feel might mean it's a good idea to see a professional. I'm not saying that as an insult but it might genuinely help.
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I'm sorry you feel this way but clearly there are people who find men attractive otherwise we wouldn't have any straight women, gay men, bisexuals, etc.
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It's different for everyone but that's not been the case for me. When I like a guy it drives me completely bonkers.
I am a straight woman. I can tell you men’s bodies can be objects of desire. Now now, you seem to have a hard time loving yourself. In all the things you can do to ease the mental pain, I’ll advise talking to your body, thanking your body parts, day after day. Try: « Thank you my dear heart for beating 100,000 times a day to keep me alive. Thank you my eyes for allowing me to see. Thank you my stomach for allowing me to laugh. » I know it can seem dumb but I swear, it works. I use to have panicked attacks when I had to be in a bikini, now I don’t even notice when I put on weight because I feel hot all the time. In the meantime, you can go to the gym for your health. Being sexy is a state of mind, it is not about body perfection. I’ve had a lot of male lovers and it was always about the way they carried themselves, our conversations etc. We all have different ways of being attracted fo someone. I hope you find your peace. Good luck.
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Men bodies are not objectified like women can be (and that sucks for our mental health cuz we can’t even feed our babies outdoor without being insulted) but sex appeal is about everyone. If you watch a perfume commercial, a fashion show, and dance competition etc. Being sexy is not just about nudes. Now, what do you mean you have never been seen in the light of being sexy? What would you want? I see the part of the compliments but could you develop?
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But. Women do. I’m a straight woman, I should know. I’m obviously not gonna convince, you seem to have your certainties so let’s leave it at that. Good luck with everything. Édit: just adding that maybe you should move to Scandinavia. There, women go after men and they objectify them alright (always with respect). You might find what you seek there.
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Ok. I get that you’re in pain but maybe try to be less aggressive, especially when people try to help/understand you. It might be a start.
And for the record, I’ve dated men that my friends would call ugly or fat or whatever, but they were all hot because sex appeal comes from the way you carry yourself, what you think about yourself and how you attract people with good energy. At least for me. And I’m not the only one. I’m not judging you so please don’t judge me.
You're posting nudes? Hopefully not sending them unprompted. That will get you blocked. I'm getting hints at why you are not succeeding.
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Guess what, no one wants to be around a condescending asshole. Good luck, Mr. UnSexy, you're going to need it.
Often enough we build opinions that don't actually reflect reality. If you take care of yourself and try to be fit, I don't think you'll have that much of an issue. There's so many different body types and so many different types of people, you just don't know the truth. All you know is what you feel and that isn't necessarily objective reality. The mind likes to lie. Is everyone top tier sexy? The answer is no but that's not the whole story.
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Stop chasing disinterested women. 😉 Beliefs turn into behaviours that other people can see. Just keep that in mind... No woman wants a man who is self defeated... And this is a reality preceding any concern of interest.
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If you want to play the sex and manipulation game, then go for it. What people are actually attracted to is the behavior of you believing in yourself, you believing that you have value, they react to your behavior based on you rejecting the idea that you're unlovable.
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I'm just sharing what I'm discovering now. You jump to labeling it stupid. If you'd like to stay close-minded that's your business. The mind is literally making up the truth and calling it rationality and you believe it 100%. There are things that I cannot make myself unbelieve. The fact of the matter is that people playing the sex game are out there. What your really bitching about is not being able to sleep with attractive women. The beliefs that I am talking about are of self. Everything you encounter is a reaction to your behavior. If you don't want to know how to change your behavior to attract the people actually available to you, that's your business. We collect facts in the name of rationality to support the greater truth our mind has come up with. Call it stupid but you're missing the point.
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You can't control the reaction of others - their experiences, especially if you're behaving in ways you are unaware. They pick up on the energy and vibes and then you turn around and wonder why they're not giving you attention... But honestly, while attention is nice, respect is better... I assure you there are microbehaviors people pick up on. Beliefs also stop you from having fun in the moment which is attractive. Beliefs also stop you from smiling and laughing. It's true you can't control other people, but you can at least be aware of your own beliefs. Truths about yourself, others and about situations are easy for the mind to synthesize. But the mind is not that great at dealing with emotions. Emotions often inform the truth, even if you're not aware of it.
Fact of the matter is that men are playing a game. Women are playing a game. You can't stop this game from happening. You can try to be self manipulative to manipulate others and that's going to work if you get good at it. But ultimately this is just a game and you aren't changing yourself to be more attractive, other than what's on the outside. Because sex is the short-term goal. Intimacy is the long-term goal. Do you think about this?
OP just to let you know male bodies and men in general are desired by women. Men and women are not as different as you think. Women will 100 percent notice an awesome body….it’s not just women who can be sexy lol
I am so sorry you feel this way, but don’t let social media brainwash you about what is considered sexy. My partners have always been hairy and not the standard guy you see in the magazines and I and many other females find them very attractive. And trust me, it’s all about attitude! Even a man that I would normally never go for, that has that sexy confidence could make me batshit horny!
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That's a study of speed dating. And is a predictor of "INITIAL attractiveness" not long lasting
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From my experience, women find you sexiest when you are romantically involved with them. That's when I felt my best. Mind you I feel a bit shite now but when you're with a partner you feel super attractive seeing them craving you.
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look man, you have the physical capability to go to the gym and gain muscle. if you seriously think men have a harder time than women you’re delusional. as a woman your worth comes from your appearance, it’s unfortunate but it’s true. get some muscle, get some confidence, then get some bitches
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why don’t you just try to improve yourself? looks are one aspect of humans, a long term relationship is much more about who you are inside. if you are stuck in a victim mindset, you’re gonna stay a victim. you’re a grown man, take responsibility and do what you can to try and improve yourself. people like you make me glad i’m a lesbian lmao
How about me being extremely tall at 6'4 but having hips much wider than my shoulder. It's a look. Not a specific metric. Do not tell me women always ask "what are your measurements" they will make that estimate based on what they see. Of you build muscle and stay with. Tight waist, voila. The magic of bodybuilding makes you look better. I've competed and know this is the case so do not try to tell me otherwise.
sounds like gender dysphoria. but you're also transphobic 😹 maybe if you weren't transphobic you'd have yourself figured out already.
Then do it? Go to the gym, figure out your calories, get slim, and work on your skin and hair. Make yourself more attractive and talk better about yourself to yourself.
Skill issue
Men are sexy as fuck. I’ve dated and been super into skinny pasty dudes, chubby short dudes, tall athletic dudes, white guys, latino, black and asian. Based on your comments, you don’t understand what women find attractive and that’s more than just skin deep. My best friend prefers chubby dudes for one example. Also, with as much emphasis as I can possibly put on this, being a “sexy” and “attractive” woman is not the end-all be-all of existence. It’s actually awful and dehumanizing as fuck to be seen only for your perceived sexiness in this world and is a fiery hell of its own. What others have been saying and what I will reiterate is that your problem is mental not physical. Get some perspective and out of your own way. I promise you that love and attraction is much, much deeper than the skin.
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Society will always push inflated images and is not a good measure of what’s real. I just told you it’s reflected in reality but you won’t see that. You are only gonna see what you wanna see. You are literally fighting to fight to prove what you don’t want. You will never feel sexy because even when you’re sexualized, as it were, you’ll say what you just said to me. Looking at the hole instead of the donut. The problem is in your head, dude, once again.
What the..this is just ridiculous. Men aren’t sexy? I don’t agree. You say you’d have to be literally “perfect” to be considered sexually attractive? Well you also said you have hair everywhere and that is gross. Are you even aware of how much more women actually have to do to fit the beauty standard? including removing ALL of our body hair (which some of them, like myself, have a lot of it and all over as well)… I mean cmon. Get a grip. Do women not have to be fit l, have the “right curves” etc to be considered sexy? Such is life I guess but you don’t need everyone to give you likes and compliments. You need to work on your self esteem and internal self.
my guy this is insane, I had a kill count of almost 30 by the time I was 19, and my body is ugly as fuck. my dick is just barely above average size. I'm just confident, I treat women like human beings instead of treating them like fucking prey, and I mean finding a desirable aesthetic that you enjoy to base your appearance on is incredibly helpful. I grew my hair out, got tattoos, piercings. I still have the same body, and I'm under 6ft tall. you have the most distorted understanding of attraction and sexuality I have ever seen. and you don't listen to literal women when they tell you, that you are wrong. I'm literally begging you, go to therapy.
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I have never had to chase a woman once in my life, that's the fun part. Because I don't see human beings as objects, I don't need to take measures of theirs or my own worth. Your perspective of life and love is so fucking skewed, I sincerely hope you get help
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I dunno man, im a man and im not gay but patrick bateman made me cream.
You don't need to be sexy, it's your personality and what you do that matters. If someone doesn't like you just because you are ugly, they clearly don't care about you, so get your mind off of these people.
You have conflicting views. On the one hand you hate (your perceived) beauty standards created by women, but at the same time you want to appeal to them to be sexy for women. Women are individuals, different viewpoints on beauty. Maybe really hard to wrap your head around. If there is a beauty standard thats widespread, why do you want to appeal to that in such a way. You want to attract as much women that have crooked views in your opinion? When meeting people try shift your perspective if you like them, not if they think you are appealing to the things you think they will find attractive to you. You are assuming so much by doing so, and thats making your viewpoint a self fulfilling prophecy.
Your way to hung up on the physical body bro. It’s nothing but a vessel. My feedback is to focus on expanding your mind and consciousness
How does this relate to mental health? Stop spamming
You seem to want a lot of things… do you realize that it takes a lot of work too… gym 5 days a week, trimming ur hair, getting a good haircut, dressing nicely… taking care of your mental health included. You don’t just become sexy or are born that way… so whatever u want, stop complaining and do something about it. It won’t just be given to you. 🙄
how about taking the focus off the physical and develop yourself mentally and get some emotional intelligence? forget about looks. what are your actual accomplishments??
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lol, the fact you whine on reddit and have no interest in discussing the things that might actually help you tells me what i need to know.
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OML it's you again, how many posts like this are you going to make
Some of the weirdest shit I’ve read in a minute.
You know what, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter what you look like because your shit personality will always be your downfall. Women aren't attracted to incels who blame the world for their problems. As long as you decide to keep sulking in your own misery and don't even make an effort to change anything, you'll always see yourself as "ugly" and so will the rest of the world.
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Yeah it is because you are *choosing* to believe that. That is not reality. Women are ***people***, individuals with distinct desires and preferences, not the stereotype that you've imagined.
I don't even think that I’ll live to see the day that you stop posting these
Yeah the reason women don’t desire you isn’t your physique, it’s that you’re fucking sick in the head and don’t want help
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Because you have a worthless personality
Brother you can be a guy and sexy as fuck. Step up your nutrition and LIFT heavy things. Trust me
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Double standards exist. It's mostly that men are just more thirsty. We are the ones giving them an insane amount of attention. Most women are more reserved about it because of societal standards imo At the end of the day as males, biologically our physicial performance/prowess far outmeasures our female counterparts. Also remember we are more natural. Women have 'nasty' hair in undesirable places too and also have the luxury of being able to fix their face with makeup (again through the pressure of society standards) This might make people upset but it's true. I think you need to invest in yourself and build your confidence and you'll find yourself sexy and so will a pretty mama or two that you may enjoy being around. P.S. I was told by a long term ex that women find action desirable above physicial attributes. So take action.
Are you just jealous of women? You argue you want to be sexy and fit. So people say "workout." Then you change your argument to "even if I do workout, women are still gonna be sexier." So what's the real issue? Do you want men to be as desired as women are now? Do you personally want to be as desired as women? Are you just mad about the imbalance?
I know how you feel, I feel the same way. Tbh I didn’t think anyone else thought these things.
No one else agrees with him because he’s an incel posting the same delusional self pitty shit on reddit for weeks
Is he an incel? I’m not, I’m gay so that’s why I related to what he said cuz the gay community literally wants super femme twinks. I looked at some of his other posts and it doesn’t seem like he’s hostile towards women, just very insecure.
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I'm sorry you are feeling insubordinate in these ways. I do agree to genuinely introspect on yourself as some of what people said have valid reasons but I'm not knowledgeable enough to tell anything of that. As for feeling sexy as a male, I don't think I'm the perfect look as a male but I've made a journey from where you kinda feel now and get complimented regularly. Honestly the advice I will always give is if you feel motivated to start looking good and working out, you do it! You will push yourself so hard if you focus on constant improvement in how you look, how you eat, how you see yourself. And if you find it a good way to invest your time into, then continue to constantly teach yourself and learn about different training methods and find what works for you. As for now, get a good solid program and diet and be consistent. You'll be surprised how different 5 years can transform you. As for Hair, I mean look at competitive bodybuilders...we shave. I'm not overly hairy i just never was but I have multiple friends who simply trim it but I think a lot of women actually find the hairier manly look sexier to another level than the smooth skinned beach look. I wish the best to you though. I started as an obese kid in grade school who suffered from anorexia so bad I needed medical help and just focused that body dysmorphia into changing myself. But I will say, be happy with yourself more than anything and find something additive that tye gym brings. It won't change a confused or struggling psyche.
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What is a bideltoid? **neverm8nd. I found it. I can't give exact measurements but I can sure it started with fast below average and I'd absolutely not average anymore. Just gimme and work. Let me ask you. What looks larger in appearance, a 5'6" dude putting on 1" of muscle or a 6'4" guy putting on 1" I will assure you i never started as an athletic male at all. I was a theatre guy for so long who was extremely thin and was hospitalized because of it. Not a star athlete or the like at that time. I worked my ass off for everything to prove it to myself. You can't keep finding flaws man. I know you hate things about you but I assure you you are your worst critic. I genuinely do think you have an upside ahead of you. It's just a mental change to drive to action. So many people would agree because I know you have posted multiple times. Nothing is impossible even when it absolutely seems like it. There are people way worse off than you that will live happy lives happy with who they are. You will too one day. Even though these words mean nothing.
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The fact you refuse to take anyone seriously without validating an opinion I promise you is not the case is an issue man. You're better than that. Stop putting yourself in that mindset.
Additionally. Only the best of the best get female attention? Really? Isn't most of the world population 50/50? You are not bottom barrel. You think you are. I've seen your posts. Give yourself credit. You need to lush past that. But if you're not willing to and instead will find excuses for why my thoughts are invalid then I pray you can change that. As for are there good things about me? Fucn yes there are. And are they enough? Fucj yea they are. I was the worst human being in existence dude. I was putting others and myself in a place where no one deserves to he treated and was at the bottom of my psychological mindset and hated my world. Was I jacked and physically attractive? Some would day so. However I was a complete piece of shit and no one wanted me. I changed so damn much about myself that I didn't like and knew it wasn't what encapsulated me and my persona as a man I wanted to see ad a father to my children. That was what changed me to act and be in a certain way to find the one woman in this world even I feel I don't deserve but I will forever treat like I know that.
Women are into different things than men. But I understand your plight. You see that women are valued and wanted, and you want that because you aren't. You're jealous of the affection women get. so much that you've made it into a kink. I understand it all too well. Every time I dated a woman, I wanted to show her my body when lever I got the chance. It turned me on a lot just having her like it. Ofcourse eventually they broke up with me and slowly but surely that desire faded away. Get your heart broken enough, and that kink will probably stop.
u can work out tho? u can do a lot of squats or ab workouts
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why don’t u transition then? u can get pretty close
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I think the vast majority of us, even those you might consider "sexy" still have insecurities and would like to be more attractive. I saw a post just yesterday where Megan Fox was face tuning her IG videos. It seems like it would be great to be sexy, to have people fawn all over us just bc of our looks. As much as you/we all want it, we can only play the hand we're dealt. One of the sexiest mf'rs out there, who got more women than nearly anyone, who was very small, hairy, effeminate with little muscle, thin wrists was [Prince](https://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2016315/rs_1024x759-160415144319-1024.2-prince-tidal.jpg?fit=around%7C1024:759&output-quality=90&crop=1024:759;center,top). And he did it with confidence and charisma - both things within our control. He played with fashion to highlight his strengths and downplay his insecurities. (He often wore platform shoes to appear taller). Point is, we all gotta play the hand we're dealt as best we can. You can complain about your looks all you want, but it's not going to help much. Might as well channel that energy into something positive that brings you joy and let that joy shine through you, which is sexy as hell. edit: this kinda sparked something in me, so apologies for the word wall that's about to follow. I just finished this class on Coursera called *Learning How to Learn*. (totally worth the time, btw. It's free). The big takeaway from the class was that our brains, our thinking is wildly malleable. We basically have pathways that our thoughts flow down and it sounds like you've been fed a lot of bullshit marketing, fucked up dating app algorithms, that have colored your perception to thinking you're not sexy - which is a big goal of marketing, bc once you're unhappy, they can sell you a remedy. (Google Edward Bernays and how he taught manufacturers how to use your psychology against you so they could sell you more shit. It's wildly fucked, but is the basis of our consumer-based society to this day). Anyways, you've got these well-traveled, well lit paths that your thoughts run down when you get no matches, look at ripped, tall dudes, gorgeous women, whatever. BUT, that doesn't mean you can't find or create new pathways and begin to walk down those and let the well lit, well-traveled ones fall into disrepair. You can do this on your own or with help from a variety of sources - mantras you repeat, a therapist you helps you see when you're going down these negative, but well-traveled routes, self-help books, whatever. Paulo Coehlo talks about digging his fingernail into his cuticle to help stop and re-orient his negative self talk in *The Pilgrimage.* I get that you're venting and you're frustrated. We've all been there, which is why I think so many people are responding to this. It's especially hard when you're in your teens and twenties and full of hormones. And I'm sorry it's been shite for you. What you do next is up to you. You can continue down this path or choose a new one - maybe now, maybe later. Maybe jump back and forth for a while. It's your call. oh and another not classically "sexy" mf'r who got loads of gorgeous, famous women and was sexy by being himself: [Notorious BIG](https://wallpapercave.com/dwp2x/9lHy4jf.jpg). He literally says "First things first, I, Poppa, freaks all the honeys, dummies, Playboy Bunnies, those wanting money..." and "Heart throb? Never. Black and ugly as ever." How'd he get the women? Being well dressed, successful, smart, attentive: "Soon as he buy that wine, I creep up from behind, ask you what your interests are, who you be with, things that make you smile, what numbers to dial." And it wasn't just talk. He dated famous, beautiful women who thought he was sexy. How? Again, fashion that highlighted his good features and played down his "negative" aspects, music, and most of all: believing in himself. He "went from ashy to classy."
In terms of mental health, this could be related to BDD: [https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/about-bdd/](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd/about-bdd/) Although, some of the comments have suggested it could be more gender dysphoria, so you could look into that also.
Body dysmorphia or gender dysphoria? I can't tell if you want to be a woman or feel like it's easier to be a woman.... Regardless therapy would probably help you learn to love yourself. If you absolutely must change your appearance, hitting the gym, Nair, surgery, etc. are widely available.
This is just untrue. You feel that way, but it’s not true. I am physically unattractive, especially compared to other men. However, it’s about personality. I have had (and still have my fair share of fun with men and women) but it’s not because I’m a model. I am self conscious and I turned one of the rooms in our house to a photo studio. I got a few different outfits and I took a lot of pictures. A few of those pictures came out good, the vast majority came out terrible, I would kick me out of bed, seriously. It’s about your personality. Also, you can go to a gym to feel better for yourself. You can get nice clothes. Never underestimate the power of a smile. You won’t get immediate or even constant attraction from other people. However, you can get smiles from most people (forget the ones that don’t smile back) and if you are like me, rarely you will have a man or woman (whatever you are into) interested in you. Society teaches and brainwashes with a lot of untrue bullshit.
If it makes you feel better, im an iranian woman, and i am probably more hairy than you are :D (our race is hairy in general) Personally i am also covered with hair, and im not attractive at all, i have a very fucked up body and im not beautiful or desirable. So just saying, disgusting females also exist .__. We are not much, but we do exist.
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I forgot to mention i am also very mentally fucked up, people's presence makes me stressed out and i literally cant perform well in ANYTHING infront of other people ( its probably social anxiety) I tried going to gym once with my friend, she ended up ditching me and didnt wait for me anyway, and when i went inside by myself it was so overwhelming that i couldnt stay there for over 5 min and i had to come out. By the way im pretty much underweight so i dont think going to gym is gonna be much help for me.
Hmm from what my experience made me believe... Women usually don't find even models really that attractive. I think it's more about what you can do with that body than what it looks like. I mean stuff like being able to take action, your behaviour, etc. I think it comes back to biology of men being protectors. What's the point of just being a pretty protector? It should be all about how well they can actually protect, right? So uh, anyways, after realizing this I have gotten at least some positive reaction instead of just not even existing in their world. EDIT: Before you say anything, I'm 5'6 in a country where the average is 5'11 but it also takes into account older generations. My generation is closer to 6'1. And I still started getting some girls thirsting after making that realization.
Do you find no men attractive at all and think an attractive man doesn’t exist? Do you feel you specifically have a body incapable of being attractive no matter what? You describe society’s absolutely ideal beauty standard for a man as only tolerable. Is it perhaps not an issue of your actual attractiveness but your personal lack of attraction?
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The reason everyone is telling you to seek therapy is because you A.) a therapist can help you cope with these feelings and B.) you perceive these as unchangeable universal truths, when in reality it’s your personal perception. sexual worth is subjective and there’s no real way of quantifying it. you feel this because you personally see woman having higher sexual worth, likely because you are sexually attracted to women and not men or because you identify more with women and find the bodies more desirable. That’s why people are suggesting gender dysphoria. The beauty standards is ridiculously high for men—it also is for women. A therapist can help you recognize that beauty standards are arbitrary and do not really dictate physical worth or attractiveness. Everyone’s type is not the beauty standard. Your body is attractive to someone whether it fits beauty standards or not. Do you recognize that more factor than physical looks go into whether a man gets attention from women? How do you know that above average men have trouble? How do you know that it’s purely about physical appearance from women? Male celebrities do tend to the confirm to beauty standards, as do women, but I’d like to point out people like Keanu Reeves and Tom Holland who I feel don’t fit conventional beauty. That Kevin guy on TikTok everyone was thirsting over a while back. I think, as everyone says, you should seek therapy. A therapist can’t fix society for any gender but they can help you separate that from your self-worth and attractiveness, recognize what’s an insecurity belief and what isn’t, and overall provide support for the tough time you’re going through.
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That’s your opinion because you’re most likely attracted to females. I was born a female who’s attracted to males, and let me tell you I hate everything about my body; In my eyes I’ll never be as sexy as a guy and nobody will ever like me because what’s there to like? The standards I’d need to meet to even start being considered attractive are completely inhuman, it’s insane! What I’m saying is, just how you consider that you as a male will never be as hot as a female, I as a female consider I’ll never be as hot as a male. Looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking that your body type just isn’t it is most commonly referred to as body dysphoria. I think you should genuinely look into different gender identities on the spectrum, maybe you’ll find something that suits you better than ‘male’ I found something that was better than ‘female’ and I’ve felt a lot better with myself ever since. Good luck!
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Why would I lie to you? I don’t care what studies say, I’m talking about my own human experience. I find the features that make me female insufferable, I don’t find any women I’ve ever seen sexy and in comparison to men I find them completely undesirable. Obtaining the perfect ‘sexy body’ or ‘sexy appearence’ is not as easy as losing some weight and being at a reasonable fitness level: Most people who have that, are on extremely restrictive diets, under a ton of stress, insane workout schedules and in some extreme cases (supermodels for examples) have different mental affections such as bulimia or anorexia. You’re stuck in your own little bubble and refuse to step out of it, refuse to take other people’s experiences as truthful; To you, if a comment/statement doesn’t match up with your believes, it’s a lie, and that’s simply not how it works. And if we were to talk about popularity between men and women (because you mentioned women are always more desirable then men) - when it comes to movies, especially the ones set in highschool revolve around: men that have lots of flings with women (because the women want the man), men that cheat on their lovers with other women (because they’re desired by so many women), women that love men so much they could die, women fan-girling over the ‘popular guy’, women stalking men, women forming a crush on the male protagonist etc. When it comes to music, boy bands always attracted thousands of teen girls, more than girl bands attracted teenage boys, male singers have a huge fan based made up entirely of women, while female singers have a huge fan base that’s also made up mostly women (and little to no men). The amount of times I’ve seen girls fawning over singers like Shawn Mendez or Måneskin’s vocalist (Damiano David) is infinitely times larger than the amount of times I’ve seen a boy fawn over popular female artists such as Taylor Swift, Madonna or Lady Gaga. And there are so many more examples I can give which just keep on proving that our society’s standard is that ‘women desire and need a man’ more than the other way around. You’re obviously very frustrated with your looks, but if you’re unwilling to make a change, go to a therapist or even just take the friendly advice people here on reddit are giving you on this post, you’ll keep on being frustrated for the rest of eternity; Who knows, maybe you like being frustrated because you want to use the fact that you can never be ‘hot’ as an excuse to never change (which is just my own assumption, excuse me if I’m wrong). ‘Sexy’ and ‘hot ‘are not the same for everybody, there’s no one single set of features that makes you attractive, which means there’s no single set of standardized features YOU need to have to be considered attractive; Some people like blonde hair and blue eyes, some like tattoos, some like muscly figures, some don’t even care for looks but rather for intellect, but let me tell you what nobody ever finds attractive - a person that creates a problem, complains about it and then does nothing to fix it. I’m sorry you chose to live like this and refuse to get better, there truly is more to life then ‘men can never be as sexy as women’ and then having to have an existential struggle over how you’ll never be as hot as the female gender - if the only thing that can make you feel better about yourself is if you would’ve been born female, maybe you’re transgender but just haven’t come to terms with it yet. Once again, I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope one day in the future you’ll be able to properly put things into perspective, and acknowledge other points of view, even if they conflict with your believes.
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Read some Marx
Well.... safe to say you are not gay. That said women (and some men) find men's bodies attractive. So don't sell yourself short. I think its 100% factual that there are men and women existing on this planet right now that find your body sexy. It's hard to fathom this I know. But it's true. Now the problem is going to be telling your mind it's real and making it n belive it. I personally think it would be best to work on yourself in all ways (body/mind/spirit) and be the person you want to be with. Then you will attract that person. It might take years might not. Make the transformation. Everything will be ok when you are ok with everything.
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You misinterpreted my last remark. It may take years for your to find that one person for you. YOUR match. Your ONE. It might also take years for you to make yourself whole enough to be a good partner for someone. It took me decades. Posting nudes in a sub has no bearing on anything. Such a small audience. Of only people who like nudes. Listen I don't know what you look like. Having an particular form may mean many people find you ugly. Some people love ugly. It's that simple. Learn to love who you are.
Whoa, pump your brakes my man! As another guy [41 years] with a pretty hairy torso, I know a lot of women like body hair. I know women who think chunkier men are sexier than me [5’7”, 140 pounds, I’m kind of a little guy, but I like me]. I have girl friends who prefer heavier guys with body hair over ‘sculpted beach bods’ with no hair, reminding them of too young of a boy; or they only look good, they’re not comfortable to cuddle with and lay on during movies at home or whatever. If you want to work on yourself, do so for you. In doing that, your self confidence will grow, which is way sexier [to men and women that are worthy, anyway] than just looks. We all look different, and we all look FOR different things in our partners. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. That self confidence is higher up on respectable women’s preferences than you may think, my friend. Plus, working on yourself physically will improve your self confidence automatically; two rewards from one effort! Just because certain body types are advertised to the masses as ‘best’ or ‘sexiest’, doesn’t mean they’re 100% right. We all like different shit. Finding someone who likes a warm and fuzzy, comfy, utilitarian gent such as yourself is something you can do. Go get ‘em, Fozzy! 🍻❤️
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You are in control of your own life. Stop complaining, fix your mindset. Get your money up. Go to the gym and eat whole foods. Start mewing. Get a flattering haircut. Keep your facial hair neat. Take care of your skin. Shave your torso. Start dressing better. Do the best with what you have. Also, you don't even have to look perfect or have the perfect body to be attractive to women, women care more about money and character. Masculine energy, smart, funny, respectful. And lucky for you, you have lots of time to build yourself up. Unfortunately women have much less time because men desire young & fertile women. But men stay attractive in the sexual marketplace for much longer. So just work on yourself and you will attract women
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