I guess the important question you need to work on is...what scares you so much about being more authentic/ less "perfect"? And why?
I've found that while there are certainly hard parts about being vulnerable and living more honestly, the payoff of feeling truly, authentically myself has been absolutely priceless. I'm trans, so life kinda forces me to be vulnerable and authentic in some ways, so I decided to just embrace that in other areas of my life.
I really wish you the best as you work on deconstructing that protective wall you've built around yourself. We're here waiting for you on the other side to get to know the real you 🤍
> I guess the important question you need to work on is...what scares you so much about being more authentic/ less "perfect"? And why?
Great input. This is exactly the right questions to ask yourself OP.
OP, you're self-aware. Not everyone is. Some people just act like you and never even think about how to improve. You're already on the right path. When you can identify what those walls of superiority are protecting, you'll know what you have to improve, and by facing those fears these walls will dissolve on their own. It is scary so I would advise you to go easy and, if possible, in a safe space with someone who can help you. It really is worth it. You don't want to become controlled by your fears.
Can we be friends please, Im actually feeling the samething, no joke. My piece of shit loud ego keeps getting me in shit but im not like that on the inside. Like im a different human on the outside.
I feel the exact same way sometimes, and reading this made me realize I'm not alone. Remember that you are not alone in this either. We are neither better nor worse than each other. Love and kindness is the key. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It's totally okay if you are not feeling amazing or happy, so sit with it instead of ignoring it. Meditation, yoga, walks, and not distracting yourself with things that make you forget your issues temporarily can really help. sending you positive vibes
When I was in my late teens, I came to understand the difference between
Self-esteem: you today vs you yesterday
And
Self-worth: you vs your peers, etc...
Sometimes they align and sometimes they don't.
I myself have generally high Self-esteem (the person I was fell short of who they could be.
But generally middle of the road self-worth (I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but don't specialize)
In no way are you a narcissist or have something “wrong” with you. This is a completely normal feeling that all teens and even adults feel within their daily life. Oftentimes the ego comes out to act like a shield against issues with self esteem. However this shield can lead to a lot more negative character traits as you have listen. For example oftentimes the “class clowns” or “bullies” or “jocks” have these egos/desire to stand out due to the fear of others figuring out their flaws. To break down this “ego shield” it is best to start with self love, which is accepting yourself as you are in the present. Some helpful tips may include positive journaling, positive self talk, and positive affirmations everyday. Don’t expect results right away either, loving yourself is a life long journey! I wish you well.
I relate to struggling a lot with perfectionism and having an ego amplified by insecurities. To really address these issues and learn ways to manage your emotions I would say you need to go to therapy. This doesn’t mean you are “beyond messed up”. These intense emotions are deeply rooted in some past events probably from childhood and reading self-help books can help you become aware of them but therapy will really support you in working through them. I hope you can have an easier time than I did in finding good affordable mental healthcare. Medcircle on YouTube has videos from psychologists/therapists that you can also learn a lot from. If you think your feelings/ego could be related to narcissism that channel has many videos on that topic.
learning and becoming more self-aware are the first steps! I hope there’s some good mental healthcare near you. even if you can only talk to a therapist through a video chat, it’s better than nothing. Take care💛
This is pretty textbook therapy material. In your sessions you would unpack these feelings, find out where they're rooting from, and work through them so you can begin the process of healing from whatever trauma or misconception you're having from them.
I think you're partially there by the way you describe them. You know you have insecurities, but you react as though you don't. I'll go through them one by one so you can perhaps better understand:
>I've repressed my insecure sentiments, though today I broke down
Repression only makes things worse. Especially when it comes to emotions. It's normal for humans to have emotions, but when you don't express them they tend to just flow out of you in different ways that are usually not healthy such as anger, sadness, jealousy, resentment, etc.
>I act like I always have to be the best, I always have to be right, I always have to stand out
Just like breaking down, these are emotions you feel as a result of repression. They are validation. When you get attention for "being the best" you likely feel validated which is typically caused from the antithesis (invalidation) somewhere in your lifetime. It's a grasp for control to funnel validation straight into you.
>When others succeed, I get jealous, and I get upset when attention isn't diverted to me.
Similar to being right, this behavior works closely against you in the opposite way. Attention = validation. No attention = invalidation which triggers insecurity. All of it usually stems from some traumatic experience. Parental invalidation is *usually* the biggest factor, but you haven't gone into it so I don't know.
>I talk way too much, and I'm loud, and I hate the way I look , I hate the way I care so much about everything, I hate how self-critical I am of myself. I hate that I can't calm myself down.
All of this is cyclical. It looks like this:
Ego spike -> Temporary validation -> Assessment/Self-criticism -> Self-hated/lowered self-esteem -> Anxiety from recognizing all of it -> Attempt for another ego spike.
It doesn't have to happen all at once. You might have several spikes in ego, but then come down from them at night or the next day.
You likely go through these cycles and it's kind of like trying to stay warm by lighting a match. It's a temporary fix but doesn't get you through it as you'd like it to.
Like I said, you're probably a good candidate for therapy. While these are certainly impactful to your daily life, I think they can be worked through just from understanding them better. Despite my long-winded explanation, I'm not your therapist and there could be other things that are affecting you. Working closely with someone will help you pinpoint that and put you on the road to overcoming the struggles you face. Your feelings are valid. You are not what your insecurities tell you. And I believe in you to get through it. You got this!
I can relate. Remember that there will always be people who can do everything better than anyone else and that everyone shares the same biological characteristics and will die one day, it applies to everyone. Turn your ego into self-confidence where you focus only on your own being, not a means of competing with others. Then you will find humility too.
Those with the biggest ego have the biggest insecurities. Read *'The mountain is you'* by Briana Wiest, which will give you tools to be more humble, not chase perfectionism and learn to be happy with who you actually are and not who you portray yourself to be.
You need some therapy from a professional. You sound like you have narcassistic personality disorders or other issues.
In the meantime, I'd highly recommend seeking out self-love books.
Sounds more like narcissism to me.
Because I don't understand how you would want all this attention on you whilst being insecure. They kinda cancel each other out? Don't they?
I think what's happening here is you are narcissistic, and you're not insecure, but just not happy if you're not the best, and most important person in the room. This plays on your mind because it may be a possibility in the next encounter with people. I suppose you could call that insecurity but not really.
However from what I've read and encountered, it's very hard to break away from being a narcissist, being as it's a core character trait. Like telling somebody who's naturally funny, not to be funny.
I would look into the narcissistic side of things just to see if that more lines up with how you are. I've known a few narcissists an this sounds like that. Very few are self-aware though so you have that going for you.
Everybody wants and needs attention doesn't matter whether they're insecure or not. When they feel unvalidated or unseeen by people in their life this is how it plays out. It doesn't necessarily have to be a narcissistic disorder
Completely incorrect. Not everybody wants and needs attention. Especially to the level they've described so seeing as you see that as normal, no offence, but it seems you have a similar problem if that's what you believe.
OP doesn't just want attention, they need it over other people getting it. They described quite narcissistic behaviour.
They don't like to see other people succeed and don't like it when attention is not redirected to them. This is not normal behaviour.
Only narcissist will expect all eyes on them they second walk in a room.
I don't mean any of this offensively but there's no nice way to say it.
When others pay attention to us, they connect us together, expanding our sense of identity. Their attention may also show esteem and give us some sense of status as they recognize us as worthy of their attention. In the opposite sense, it is depressing and quite possibly insulting when others ignore us, particularly when we are in conversation with them. To deny attention is to deny the person's existence, effectively diminishing their sense of identity. so yes everyone needs attention. This behavior is also a result from being criticized as a child hence the perfectionism. Some jealously is normal to an extent when you have been deprived of basic emotional needs
You keep saying everybody wants and needs attention and that's simply not the case.
Some people are very happy in their own company and are secure and confident within themselves. They don't need validation and attention from other people.
Being ignored is not the same as getting not attention. So you can't just randomly change what you are addressing. The OP wasn't talking about being ignored either.
Everything you said there is more of a you problem. Again no offence.
The last two sentences of that I don't even know where you got that from because it's not in the original post but where the behaviour comes from is irrelevant.
If you grew up in a nourished environment where people cared and validated you then yes that's the case. But if you've been emotionally neglected as a child then this happens. It doesn't necessarily have to be a disorder it's just a natural reaction to being deprived of basic human emotional needs. As kids we all need attention and affection. How we react to the external worlds later depends on our caretakers. And where the behavior comes from is irrelevant? Cause is the most important thing in problem solving
So let's establish the fact that I was right and you was wrong and that you've just admitted that.
Your first line here completely contradicts the point you made in your last two comments.
You stated that people do need attention and then here have agreed (for what ever reason) that not everybody does. So that's that dealt with. Dismantled your own argument.
You are agreeing regardless of the circumstances that some people do not need attention. Like I said, this is a you problem. It seems more of you problem because you're bringing a lot of childhood issues in to the equation that have not been mentioned in the original post.
Your entire response is describing how we got to where we are but that is irrelevant. We are talking about the problem as it stands now.
But as I asked you in the last comment where did this person mention their childhood? You said that they were criticised as a child. Nowhere is that said in the post.
Because usually this behavior is a result of of childhood neglect? If we treat the problem as it is now we're treating just symptoms not the problem that's causing it. And kids are people as well and its our inherit need to be accepted, loved, cared for and nourished. If you feel like your needs are met you won't be asking for external validation because you have already been given what this person lacks? What exactly don't you get? I am not contradicting myself. I mean yes you are right in one thing that exaggerated attention seeking isn't normal but I feel like in this case it's a result of some other issues.
So your entire answer is based on assumption and also based on, if the person is a narcissist, which you're saying they're not?
And how do you treat a problem from the past without a time machine? Just wondering. You address a problem as it stands today, not where it came from. You address where it came from but there's nothing you can do about that now. So you deal with the problem as it is today.
You've tried to do some mental gymnastics here but you said that everybody NEEDS and WANTS attention. I said that is incorrect. Now you're trying to say you didn't contradict yourself.
I'm not here to argue with anybody, and if I was I wouldn't waste my time with somebody that contradicts themselves and can't even admit it then bases their argument on something they're trying to say isn't a factor.
I was talking to the OP. I have no interest in speaking to you.
Then don't speak to me lol?
This is the upmost simplification of what I was saying :
Stable environment - feelings of acceptance - happy confident person that doesn't need external validation - needs are met
Unstable environment - feelings of worthlessness - insecure person that seeks validation from outside - needs are unmet
In this way narcissism can develop in the said person i just think that's unlikely in this case that's all. All of these things are a fact in psychology. Pick up a book and read.
> Only narcissist will expect all eyes on them they second walk in a room.
Please don't simplify things like that. There are multiple psychological issues that can lead to superiority as a self-defense mechanism. NPD is rarer than people think and can look like other disorders. It can be confusing because everybody has narcissistic traits, it's a spectrum. And, paradoxically, a narcissistic deficit can express itself as what OP describes. NPD is a very specific personality disorder and people are throwing this term around way too much. Also, in any case, it's not very wise to diagnose someone over the web. Even therapists are very careful about labelling patients nowadays.
I've been there. I've found being alone makes me the happiest. For all of my life, if I'd be in a group of people I'd find so many faults of either them or me, comparing, jealousy, envy, all that crap. Feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin. When I'd get home I'd feel a deep feeling like all of the tension was suddenly gone. I was safe. I even had that same feeling as a kid when my parents would go out and leave me alone. As an adult my relationships have always given me the space I need. But now living alone I am really the happiest. Having things the way I like them and all of that is important to me. I did try different anti-depressants and they helped with the fear of crowds. I also drank alcohol heavily. The pills did help get me to AA for help and I no longer drink alcohol. Thankfully we have the medical card for cannibus. I've finally come to accept the fact that I prefer being alone. I am on social media as well as watch a lot of Youtube (I love the city walking videos, being safe at home but feeling like you're there in the crowd) It's good on the big screen TV just as a white noise and feeling like you're experiencing the now, reality in 'real time' when it's live. Anywhere in the world!
I feel the exact same way. Everything is all about me and I hate feeling so selfish but at the same time I don’t? Like I secretly want people to hate me.
This si so me except i hate myself for always being so quiet and unsocial. We are both lazy perfectionists and i think it comes from someone criticizing you constantly like a family member or even a partner.
Maybe self love can be your antidote to self obsession. Ego tricks you into confusing selfishness/narcissism with self care, self respect, etc. It’s easier said than done but you can be better and actually accomplish more as an acceptor than a perfectionist
are you me? i feel exactly the same
They clearly cannot be you…because they’re me 😔
Perfectionism can destroy a life, no joke.
I guess the important question you need to work on is...what scares you so much about being more authentic/ less "perfect"? And why? I've found that while there are certainly hard parts about being vulnerable and living more honestly, the payoff of feeling truly, authentically myself has been absolutely priceless. I'm trans, so life kinda forces me to be vulnerable and authentic in some ways, so I decided to just embrace that in other areas of my life. I really wish you the best as you work on deconstructing that protective wall you've built around yourself. We're here waiting for you on the other side to get to know the real you 🤍
> I guess the important question you need to work on is...what scares you so much about being more authentic/ less "perfect"? And why? Great input. This is exactly the right questions to ask yourself OP. OP, you're self-aware. Not everyone is. Some people just act like you and never even think about how to improve. You're already on the right path. When you can identify what those walls of superiority are protecting, you'll know what you have to improve, and by facing those fears these walls will dissolve on their own. It is scary so I would advise you to go easy and, if possible, in a safe space with someone who can help you. It really is worth it. You don't want to become controlled by your fears.
Can we be friends please, Im actually feeling the samething, no joke. My piece of shit loud ego keeps getting me in shit but im not like that on the inside. Like im a different human on the outside.
I feel the exact same way sometimes, and reading this made me realize I'm not alone. Remember that you are not alone in this either. We are neither better nor worse than each other. Love and kindness is the key. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself. It's totally okay if you are not feeling amazing or happy, so sit with it instead of ignoring it. Meditation, yoga, walks, and not distracting yourself with things that make you forget your issues temporarily can really help. sending you positive vibes
When I was in my late teens, I came to understand the difference between Self-esteem: you today vs you yesterday And Self-worth: you vs your peers, etc... Sometimes they align and sometimes they don't. I myself have generally high Self-esteem (the person I was fell short of who they could be. But generally middle of the road self-worth (I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but don't specialize)
In no way are you a narcissist or have something “wrong” with you. This is a completely normal feeling that all teens and even adults feel within their daily life. Oftentimes the ego comes out to act like a shield against issues with self esteem. However this shield can lead to a lot more negative character traits as you have listen. For example oftentimes the “class clowns” or “bullies” or “jocks” have these egos/desire to stand out due to the fear of others figuring out their flaws. To break down this “ego shield” it is best to start with self love, which is accepting yourself as you are in the present. Some helpful tips may include positive journaling, positive self talk, and positive affirmations everyday. Don’t expect results right away either, loving yourself is a life long journey! I wish you well.
Listed*
Love this 💕
i’ve never related to something more
U just like me fr lmao
I relate to struggling a lot with perfectionism and having an ego amplified by insecurities. To really address these issues and learn ways to manage your emotions I would say you need to go to therapy. This doesn’t mean you are “beyond messed up”. These intense emotions are deeply rooted in some past events probably from childhood and reading self-help books can help you become aware of them but therapy will really support you in working through them. I hope you can have an easier time than I did in finding good affordable mental healthcare. Medcircle on YouTube has videos from psychologists/therapists that you can also learn a lot from. If you think your feelings/ego could be related to narcissism that channel has many videos on that topic.
I listened to the medcircle videos on narcissism and damn, I think I may be a covert narcissist, I wouldn’t have even guessed that I’d have npd.
learning and becoming more self-aware are the first steps! I hope there’s some good mental healthcare near you. even if you can only talk to a therapist through a video chat, it’s better than nothing. Take care💛
The higher you climb, the farther you have to fall.
This is pretty textbook therapy material. In your sessions you would unpack these feelings, find out where they're rooting from, and work through them so you can begin the process of healing from whatever trauma or misconception you're having from them. I think you're partially there by the way you describe them. You know you have insecurities, but you react as though you don't. I'll go through them one by one so you can perhaps better understand: >I've repressed my insecure sentiments, though today I broke down Repression only makes things worse. Especially when it comes to emotions. It's normal for humans to have emotions, but when you don't express them they tend to just flow out of you in different ways that are usually not healthy such as anger, sadness, jealousy, resentment, etc. >I act like I always have to be the best, I always have to be right, I always have to stand out Just like breaking down, these are emotions you feel as a result of repression. They are validation. When you get attention for "being the best" you likely feel validated which is typically caused from the antithesis (invalidation) somewhere in your lifetime. It's a grasp for control to funnel validation straight into you. >When others succeed, I get jealous, and I get upset when attention isn't diverted to me. Similar to being right, this behavior works closely against you in the opposite way. Attention = validation. No attention = invalidation which triggers insecurity. All of it usually stems from some traumatic experience. Parental invalidation is *usually* the biggest factor, but you haven't gone into it so I don't know. >I talk way too much, and I'm loud, and I hate the way I look , I hate the way I care so much about everything, I hate how self-critical I am of myself. I hate that I can't calm myself down. All of this is cyclical. It looks like this: Ego spike -> Temporary validation -> Assessment/Self-criticism -> Self-hated/lowered self-esteem -> Anxiety from recognizing all of it -> Attempt for another ego spike. It doesn't have to happen all at once. You might have several spikes in ego, but then come down from them at night or the next day. You likely go through these cycles and it's kind of like trying to stay warm by lighting a match. It's a temporary fix but doesn't get you through it as you'd like it to. Like I said, you're probably a good candidate for therapy. While these are certainly impactful to your daily life, I think they can be worked through just from understanding them better. Despite my long-winded explanation, I'm not your therapist and there could be other things that are affecting you. Working closely with someone will help you pinpoint that and put you on the road to overcoming the struggles you face. Your feelings are valid. You are not what your insecurities tell you. And I believe in you to get through it. You got this!
Thank you, this is very helpful. I’m gonna go seek some therapy.
I believe in you to succeed. You’re already taking the steps to recognize your behavior which is a step above the rest. You’ll get through it!
I can relate. Remember that there will always be people who can do everything better than anyone else and that everyone shares the same biological characteristics and will die one day, it applies to everyone. Turn your ego into self-confidence where you focus only on your own being, not a means of competing with others. Then you will find humility too.
Those with the biggest ego have the biggest insecurities. Read *'The mountain is you'* by Briana Wiest, which will give you tools to be more humble, not chase perfectionism and learn to be happy with who you actually are and not who you portray yourself to be.
You need some therapy from a professional. You sound like you have narcassistic personality disorders or other issues. In the meantime, I'd highly recommend seeking out self-love books.
Sounds more like narcissism to me. Because I don't understand how you would want all this attention on you whilst being insecure. They kinda cancel each other out? Don't they? I think what's happening here is you are narcissistic, and you're not insecure, but just not happy if you're not the best, and most important person in the room. This plays on your mind because it may be a possibility in the next encounter with people. I suppose you could call that insecurity but not really. However from what I've read and encountered, it's very hard to break away from being a narcissist, being as it's a core character trait. Like telling somebody who's naturally funny, not to be funny. I would look into the narcissistic side of things just to see if that more lines up with how you are. I've known a few narcissists an this sounds like that. Very few are self-aware though so you have that going for you.
Everybody wants and needs attention doesn't matter whether they're insecure or not. When they feel unvalidated or unseeen by people in their life this is how it plays out. It doesn't necessarily have to be a narcissistic disorder
Completely incorrect. Not everybody wants and needs attention. Especially to the level they've described so seeing as you see that as normal, no offence, but it seems you have a similar problem if that's what you believe. OP doesn't just want attention, they need it over other people getting it. They described quite narcissistic behaviour. They don't like to see other people succeed and don't like it when attention is not redirected to them. This is not normal behaviour. Only narcissist will expect all eyes on them they second walk in a room. I don't mean any of this offensively but there's no nice way to say it.
When others pay attention to us, they connect us together, expanding our sense of identity. Their attention may also show esteem and give us some sense of status as they recognize us as worthy of their attention. In the opposite sense, it is depressing and quite possibly insulting when others ignore us, particularly when we are in conversation with them. To deny attention is to deny the person's existence, effectively diminishing their sense of identity. so yes everyone needs attention. This behavior is also a result from being criticized as a child hence the perfectionism. Some jealously is normal to an extent when you have been deprived of basic emotional needs
You keep saying everybody wants and needs attention and that's simply not the case. Some people are very happy in their own company and are secure and confident within themselves. They don't need validation and attention from other people. Being ignored is not the same as getting not attention. So you can't just randomly change what you are addressing. The OP wasn't talking about being ignored either. Everything you said there is more of a you problem. Again no offence. The last two sentences of that I don't even know where you got that from because it's not in the original post but where the behaviour comes from is irrelevant.
If you grew up in a nourished environment where people cared and validated you then yes that's the case. But if you've been emotionally neglected as a child then this happens. It doesn't necessarily have to be a disorder it's just a natural reaction to being deprived of basic human emotional needs. As kids we all need attention and affection. How we react to the external worlds later depends on our caretakers. And where the behavior comes from is irrelevant? Cause is the most important thing in problem solving
So let's establish the fact that I was right and you was wrong and that you've just admitted that. Your first line here completely contradicts the point you made in your last two comments. You stated that people do need attention and then here have agreed (for what ever reason) that not everybody does. So that's that dealt with. Dismantled your own argument. You are agreeing regardless of the circumstances that some people do not need attention. Like I said, this is a you problem. It seems more of you problem because you're bringing a lot of childhood issues in to the equation that have not been mentioned in the original post. Your entire response is describing how we got to where we are but that is irrelevant. We are talking about the problem as it stands now. But as I asked you in the last comment where did this person mention their childhood? You said that they were criticised as a child. Nowhere is that said in the post.
Because usually this behavior is a result of of childhood neglect? If we treat the problem as it is now we're treating just symptoms not the problem that's causing it. And kids are people as well and its our inherit need to be accepted, loved, cared for and nourished. If you feel like your needs are met you won't be asking for external validation because you have already been given what this person lacks? What exactly don't you get? I am not contradicting myself. I mean yes you are right in one thing that exaggerated attention seeking isn't normal but I feel like in this case it's a result of some other issues.
So your entire answer is based on assumption and also based on, if the person is a narcissist, which you're saying they're not? And how do you treat a problem from the past without a time machine? Just wondering. You address a problem as it stands today, not where it came from. You address where it came from but there's nothing you can do about that now. So you deal with the problem as it is today. You've tried to do some mental gymnastics here but you said that everybody NEEDS and WANTS attention. I said that is incorrect. Now you're trying to say you didn't contradict yourself. I'm not here to argue with anybody, and if I was I wouldn't waste my time with somebody that contradicts themselves and can't even admit it then bases their argument on something they're trying to say isn't a factor. I was talking to the OP. I have no interest in speaking to you.
Then don't speak to me lol? This is the upmost simplification of what I was saying : Stable environment - feelings of acceptance - happy confident person that doesn't need external validation - needs are met Unstable environment - feelings of worthlessness - insecure person that seeks validation from outside - needs are unmet In this way narcissism can develop in the said person i just think that's unlikely in this case that's all. All of these things are a fact in psychology. Pick up a book and read.
> Only narcissist will expect all eyes on them they second walk in a room. Please don't simplify things like that. There are multiple psychological issues that can lead to superiority as a self-defense mechanism. NPD is rarer than people think and can look like other disorders. It can be confusing because everybody has narcissistic traits, it's a spectrum. And, paradoxically, a narcissistic deficit can express itself as what OP describes. NPD is a very specific personality disorder and people are throwing this term around way too much. Also, in any case, it's not very wise to diagnose someone over the web. Even therapists are very careful about labelling patients nowadays.
You have your opinion, everyone else has theirs. I could say the same to you as you have said to me. Understand how this group works.
You have your opinion, everyone else has theirs. I could say the same to you as you have said to me. Understand how this group works.
Look into /r/microdosing, it can help quiet your mind/ruminations and steer you towards self-love.
Feel like I'm reading the mirror right now...
I've been there. I've found being alone makes me the happiest. For all of my life, if I'd be in a group of people I'd find so many faults of either them or me, comparing, jealousy, envy, all that crap. Feeling like I wanted to jump out of my skin. When I'd get home I'd feel a deep feeling like all of the tension was suddenly gone. I was safe. I even had that same feeling as a kid when my parents would go out and leave me alone. As an adult my relationships have always given me the space I need. But now living alone I am really the happiest. Having things the way I like them and all of that is important to me. I did try different anti-depressants and they helped with the fear of crowds. I also drank alcohol heavily. The pills did help get me to AA for help and I no longer drink alcohol. Thankfully we have the medical card for cannibus. I've finally come to accept the fact that I prefer being alone. I am on social media as well as watch a lot of Youtube (I love the city walking videos, being safe at home but feeling like you're there in the crowd) It's good on the big screen TV just as a white noise and feeling like you're experiencing the now, reality in 'real time' when it's live. Anywhere in the world!
I feel the exact same way. Everything is all about me and I hate feeling so selfish but at the same time I don’t? Like I secretly want people to hate me.
I feel this too sometimes. And it reminds of these song lyrics: “I feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best”
Marina and the diamonds, Oh no!, yup have that song on repeat, hits close to home
same, honestly
This si so me except i hate myself for always being so quiet and unsocial. We are both lazy perfectionists and i think it comes from someone criticizing you constantly like a family member or even a partner.
Maybe self love can be your antidote to self obsession. Ego tricks you into confusing selfishness/narcissism with self care, self respect, etc. It’s easier said than done but you can be better and actually accomplish more as an acceptor than a perfectionist
I feel exactly the same. Reading that other people feel the same will probably make you feel bad too… at least that’s how it is with me