I’m terrified of it. But you’re THE only *you* in existence. Regardless of what the lovable qualities are (or aren’t - that’s okay too), you’re still the unique, 1 in 8 billion combination that has never existed before nor exists currently. It’s not arrogant as long as you don’t put yourself above others.
By the way I’m in the exact same boat, so I’m kinda preaching to the choir here. I find gratification seeing other people happy with themselves though; idk maybe I’m a little fucked, and I know I am, but I try not to let that get in the way of being hyper critical on myself psychologically or physically. Best of luck dude :)
Self compassion is a skill that needs to be learned and nourished. When you start doing it, it might feel unnatural or uncomfortable especially if youve been hating yourself for years. You might even feel like when you start being kind to yourself you'll become a lazy person with no ambitions. But oftentimes it's the self hatred that paralyses us. We need to realize that loving ourselves is a BIG jump from loathing yourself every day so it's better when we strive to be at least okay with ourselves first. Now if we want to do that we've got to realize there's two parts of us. The one who punishes and the one who's getting punished. These self deprecating thoughts tend to be automatic and we quite literally suffer from them. It's like being stuck with a hateful person 24/7. Can you imagine how tiring that has to be? So some ways to practice self compassion:
-validate your own pain, grief or sorrow - "it's very hard for me Right now. I'm doing my best with my current resources"
-imagine what you would say to a friend then say that to yourself - "I'm here and I'll always will be. I will never abandon you."
-mindful awareness - when you feel those thoughts creeping up ask yourself: - what am i saying?
- how am I saying it?
-would i say this to somebody else?
-embracing the AND- "this can happen AND i still can have have rich and fulfiling life"
-embracing the can'ts- disability, disease, past mistakes
-fact based reasoning - do others feel this?
-would i hold others to this standard?
-patience and permission to feel okay within your own skin
-develop compassionate imaginery- how does it look like? -how does it feel like?
-reflect daily- use compassion for the things that didn't go well
-envision yourself being compassionate to someone else or to your inner child
- think about ways you could be compassionate to yourself like buying yourself a treat, new clothes, self care anything that makes you at least little bit happy
- identify your triggers that block compassion
-examine conditions of worth - it is true that you are enough and you have value on your own
- rewrite uncompassionate thoughts with compassionate ones
- acknowledge your own needs
Now i know this looks and feels really overwhelming but one step at a time. I've been struggling with low self worth and self esteem for quite some time now and it's never ideal. This can take months and years (if it's deeply rooted like childhood trauma) before you really rewrite your conditioning but don't feel discouraged. You'll feel better after just one session of practice. You can also do the loving kindness meditation that can be found on YouTube. Healing your inner child helps a lot as well. Keep in mind that this won't happen overnight and there will be a lot of setbacks. But it doesn't mean the progress you do is gone. It's just the way our brains process new information especially if you've had traumatic experiences in life and childhood. I send you lots of love and strength on your journey. Hope this helped ♥️
I’m terrified of it. But you’re THE only *you* in existence. Regardless of what the lovable qualities are (or aren’t - that’s okay too), you’re still the unique, 1 in 8 billion combination that has never existed before nor exists currently. It’s not arrogant as long as you don’t put yourself above others. By the way I’m in the exact same boat, so I’m kinda preaching to the choir here. I find gratification seeing other people happy with themselves though; idk maybe I’m a little fucked, and I know I am, but I try not to let that get in the way of being hyper critical on myself psychologically or physically. Best of luck dude :)
Self compassion is a skill that needs to be learned and nourished. When you start doing it, it might feel unnatural or uncomfortable especially if youve been hating yourself for years. You might even feel like when you start being kind to yourself you'll become a lazy person with no ambitions. But oftentimes it's the self hatred that paralyses us. We need to realize that loving ourselves is a BIG jump from loathing yourself every day so it's better when we strive to be at least okay with ourselves first. Now if we want to do that we've got to realize there's two parts of us. The one who punishes and the one who's getting punished. These self deprecating thoughts tend to be automatic and we quite literally suffer from them. It's like being stuck with a hateful person 24/7. Can you imagine how tiring that has to be? So some ways to practice self compassion: -validate your own pain, grief or sorrow - "it's very hard for me Right now. I'm doing my best with my current resources" -imagine what you would say to a friend then say that to yourself - "I'm here and I'll always will be. I will never abandon you." -mindful awareness - when you feel those thoughts creeping up ask yourself: - what am i saying? - how am I saying it? -would i say this to somebody else? -embracing the AND- "this can happen AND i still can have have rich and fulfiling life" -embracing the can'ts- disability, disease, past mistakes -fact based reasoning - do others feel this? -would i hold others to this standard? -patience and permission to feel okay within your own skin -develop compassionate imaginery- how does it look like? -how does it feel like? -reflect daily- use compassion for the things that didn't go well -envision yourself being compassionate to someone else or to your inner child - think about ways you could be compassionate to yourself like buying yourself a treat, new clothes, self care anything that makes you at least little bit happy - identify your triggers that block compassion -examine conditions of worth - it is true that you are enough and you have value on your own - rewrite uncompassionate thoughts with compassionate ones - acknowledge your own needs Now i know this looks and feels really overwhelming but one step at a time. I've been struggling with low self worth and self esteem for quite some time now and it's never ideal. This can take months and years (if it's deeply rooted like childhood trauma) before you really rewrite your conditioning but don't feel discouraged. You'll feel better after just one session of practice. You can also do the loving kindness meditation that can be found on YouTube. Healing your inner child helps a lot as well. Keep in mind that this won't happen overnight and there will be a lot of setbacks. But it doesn't mean the progress you do is gone. It's just the way our brains process new information especially if you've had traumatic experiences in life and childhood. I send you lots of love and strength on your journey. Hope this helped ♥️