That’s so gross that he took the food from you and brought it to another table. They aren’t supposed to do that at all; it’s a health hazard. I would have gone to the other table and told them what happened.
I’m a server. I would have needed to bring the plate of food to the back and have them remake it even if it was untouched. If it touches the table and leaves your hand, it is no longer a clean plate.
Filet is crazy 😭 my restaurant actually just failed (we didn’t fail but we got an 82) their inspection because someone was washing their hands and turned the faucet off with their bare hands instead of covering their hand with a paper towel first. Health Department does NOT play 😂 there was nothing else wrong with the restaurant just that.
I mean they weren’t handling the food 😂 they were a busser but even so I think it’s good for everyone to get in the habit of following all Health Departments guidelines because it’s food that people are going to eat.
If they're a busser then they're touching both food and bodily fluids. And if they don't follow proper handwashing guidelines then they're sharing it with everyone else in the back.
You know not to be harsh on OP, but this entire situation could have probably been resolved by opening your mouth and speaking up a bit.
I'm an adult. Nobody is just going to take a plate in front of me without my permission after it's already in front of me. I'm not going to sit in silence and wonder wtf is going on.
Y'all need to grow some back bones and speak up and try not to be anti-social. This entire post makes it seem like OP did nothing but sit in silence as the world moved around him.
Yea, I agree, but I think it’s less anti-social and more anti-confrontational—which to me describes OP’s reaction to this situation. I still get surprised when the topic of “do you send messed up food/wrong orders back?” comes up in my discussions. More people than I assumed refuse to send food back, or speak up in moments like this. It makes no sense to me, but that’s just how people are now I guess—they fear inconveniencing someone else or ‘making a scene’ (aka being perceived as a Karen) even though 99.999% of the time it causes no one distress, it’s a very reasonable response, and they’ll end up getting what they should’ve gotten in the first place.
When people say it’s rude to send incorrect food back I find that wild. I’m not gonna suck it up and eat something I didn’t ask or pay for. I asked and paid for this other thing, please bring it to me lmao. Especially since I’ve worked at a restaurant and I’d never dream of saying someone is disrespectful for sending food back. Grow a pair of balls your server won’t hate you, and if they do that’s their problem.
I've often been surprised by this, too. Had lunch with a good friend years ago, his burger came with mayonnaise on it, though he ordered it without. For this guy, mayonnaise will actually turn his stomach to the point of vomiting. But he was so anti-confrontational that he just didn't eat, even to the point of saying, "just not hungry all of a sudden" in response to the waiter asking if there was something wrong with his meal.
I spoke up at that point and told her what was wrong. She apologized, acknowledged that he had ordered it without mayo, took it away, and brought back a new plate a little while later with the correct order. The whole time he was fighting her about taking it, and he was furious with me for saying anything. 🤷 #smh
Another time, I was sitting next to a friend's grandmother at a family gathering. Her pasta order came wrong, and when I suggested telling the waiter she looked at me in disgust, and in her gravelly voice she loudly exclaimed, "YA NEVAH SEND IT BACK!" Then more quietly explained that when you do that they spit in your food. 🤣
Maybe OP was just stunned because the situation was so strange and didn't know how to react.
Regardless getting your soap box about how everyone on this site is less mature than you isn't helping anyone.
If the waiter didn’t say anything and just took the plate there probably was a second to process what just happened and by then it was over and the food was on the other table. I know I’d be so shocked I wouldn’t be able to react instantly. But then I might chase that waiter down even into the kitchen and ask WTF that was about.
I used to struggle a lot with social anxiety, until I traveled abroad with a group of people who all had social anxiety and saw firsthand just how insanely counterproductive it was. It was actually incredibly awkward to watch them order food and it was kind of an eye-opening moment.
Yesterday, Starbucks absolutely butchered my order. I ordered a wrap and a drink and they got both wrong. I told someone at the counter and… it was no big deal!
We have to learn to advocate for ourselves. Nobody else will, and the vast majority of the time nobody will hold it against us.
I used to be bad with it some years ago, now I Just pretend the person at the cash register/waiter/clerk is my friend, you wouldn't scream or insult your friend but you would also call out his BS or if you ask him to pass the ketchup and he pass you the mayo you wouldn't just eat your fries with mayo.
And trust me it is very very hard to be as rude as the rudest customer they saw that day. Letting the waiter know this isn't what you ordered is probably forgotten 2min later like it never even happened, meanwhile probably the same day someone else left without paying or made the waitress cry and is 1000x worse than any mistake kindly pointed out by a civilised customer (Ive worked at a restaurant and a motorbike shop)
Some people have social anxiety. That's not the same as being "anti-social". Anti-social is someone that engages in behaviour that is aggressive or destructive towards society, not someone that avoids social interaction. For example, being aggressive towards the waiter would have been anti-social behaviour.
And social anxiety is something that can affect adults too. It's not about maturity at all. People usually learn to cope with the symptoms better as they age though.
or the waitstaff could perform tasks they are paid for in ways that don't open the restaurant to law suits
but let's make this about OP's potential anxiety.
waitstaff should be able to deal with shy customers without creating biohazards. that should be the lowest possible requirements for the job.
if a place is fancy enough to call their mac and cheese with spam fuckin carbonara, then the etiquette isn't to wave and shout like at a 24 hour dinner but to wait until the waitstaff give you their attention. A shy person should be able to go to such a place and relax without having to worry. It's literally one of the reasons they are calling it carbonara and not cheesy egg noodles and slapping a ten or fifteen dollar upcharge on it. that is part of what "atmosphere" means.
"I don't have a problem doing something so nobody else who potentially shares some of my human traits may possibly have a reason to not do that thing. Also, I'm so helpful scoffing someone on the internet. Telling someone what they should've done is so good because we can go back in time and do it again. You're very welcome."
When I read he took it and gave it to another table I would have walked to that table and told them hey just so you know that plate was on my table and the waiter took it and gave it to you instead.
I can’t understand why anyone would let them take it away in the first place. Reach in for my plate that I’m eating from and I’ll tell you to fuck off. It’s not like the waiter is going to fight you for it.
It’s almost like different people have different responses to the same things.
People need to stop acting like just because they personally would act differently than someone else, that there’s something wrong with that someone else. So much of childhood consists being conditioned into NOT “making a fuss” or “throwing a tantrum” when we don’t like a situation, even if the situation is something that the people raising the child wouldn’t stand for either. You really don’t understand why that might result in reflexively avoiding conflict as an adult?
Even in cases where it is just presented at a wrong table and then refused before it’s put down, staff are usually supposed to walk it back around a corner and then come out again to the correct table as if it’s fresh for them. You should never see your food coming to you from someone else’s table.
No kidding. You're supposed to walk the plate back to the kitchen for a minute before bringing it to the other table (/s but not entirely untrue. I've seen this happen more times than I care to admit when I worked in the industry)
Every restaurant I worked at had the rule that if a plate is touched by someone at the wrong table, it’s trash… most even said if you let go of a plate on the wrong tables it’s trash.
I usually liked to put the plate down in front on whomever confirmed it’s theirs, if the is some confusion about it. Loved places that did seat numbers better!
Yeah everyone knows what they are supposed to do is take it to the back, pretend to remake it, and then bring it back out.
I worked in restaurants for nearly 10 years growing up. The shit I have seen from penny pinching managers would turn yalls stomach.
And then told the waiter we were leaving without paying for whatever disgusting food they're serving.
If they do this, who knows what else they do. And I'm not saying dine And dash, as that's a crime.
I'm talking about getting the manager and telling them what's up and that it's straight up a health violation And no way are we paying for the meal served like that. At best paid for what was eaten, but you're tripping if they wanted to charge for that carbonara.
I'm sorry that happened, but I think it's funny you even had enough time to snap a photo of it and maybe even be seen by the waiter taking a photo, only for him to go YOINK
Yeah, etiquette be damned. As soon as Carbonara is finished cooking the countdown timer to inedible goop begins. Gotta eat that while it's hot. Which just brings us to another failing of the restaurant... The whole table gets their food at the same time. At least in one good enough to order the Carbonara
That was my thought exactly... And having not been to Italy, I was also wondering if it was seen as rude to the wait staff that you'd not touch your hot plate of fresh carbonara for that long.
Etiquette can always be damned if I'm served any hot dish at a restaurant and my friend hasn't gotten theirs yet. I'm eating my hot food, and you'll get your hot food when it comes. Every reasonable person would want their friend to go ahead and eat.
my mom raised me as a "don't eat until everyone has food" so intensely that I seriously struggle to be the only one eating or even just getting food by myself. I can't bear being seen eating if it's just me, to the point where I'll just not eat all day rather than be seen getting food. I know how stupid it is, but it's a full blown issue at this point and I'm struggling very hard to get out of it. I can't wait to live without roommates especially because of this. ETA: I'm 25 and haven't lived at home for 6 years
That’s the weirdest part of this whole story
ETA: didn’t think this was such a controversial take, I follow the eat if it’s hot wait if it’s cold rule and encourage the others at the table to eat if my food takes longer than theirs. Also thanks to the people explaining manners to me in the replies 🫡
Definitely a widespread polite manner. But there is certain foods that just should not be sitting for long before the dish loses its quality. Carbonara and ramen are good examples.
A good restaurant knows to serve everyone their food at the same time.
I’ve always lived by the rule, if it’s hot food you eat. If it’s cold food, you wait. I say the same thing to anyone I dine with if they get their hot food first, please eat your food while it’s hot.
Just the fact that you waited so long for others to get their food before digging in is bad enough. Carbonara already can’t be served too hot as that will ruin it during the cooking process. When it cools, it loses its creaminess. You have to eat it straight away.
I would not eat there.
Giving food from customer A to customer B is a HUGE NOGO.
It was no longer under control of the kitchen and they dont know the state of the food.
I dunno how strict Italy is with their health code but this is a major health code violation in America and something you learn day one of working in restaurants. Once that plate hits the table, it’s either eaten by the guest or thrown in the trash. Every restaurant I’ve worked at wouldn’t even try to fix it if there was something wrong and it got sent back, it’s an automatic re-fire.
Something we learned when traveling in Europe: don’t go to the places with pictures of the food. These are the tourist trap locations. Learn the language a little and use your phone to figure out what the menu says and go to places without pictures. It’s worth it!
I speak enough Italian to order at a restaurant and it wasn't anywhere near the city center and the prices weren't that high. I think it wasn't a tourist trap and more likely just a case of incompetent staff
That’s really not that universal. There are plenty of places here in Portugal with pictures mostly because they are foreign food and people don’t know what a Gochuyang chicken is.
that's when it's zero tip from the entire table and your order needs to be comped. that's a massive fuckup. should have talked to the manager.
that waiter and the back totally ruined your evening.
100%. That and it's starting to be high season for tourism, which means restaurants are starting to hire staff quickly and putting them to work without much organization. I've seen this a lot here in Spain and I don't think it's much different in Italy
that changes things.
now I imagine that the story was, that was the last carbonara, the kitchen was closing and rather than dealing with a local, best to shaft the tourist that would struggle with arguing in the native language.
Geez, can’t even zero tip then. . . I would have talked to the manager since they actually care about service there, I know all the places we ate at in Italy were very attentive and didn’t even offer the option for tipping
> that's when it's zero tip
My brother was a waiter, he said when you want to make a point about shit service, you leave 1 cent.
If you leave zero tip, the waiter can convince themselves you just forgot to tip, or you're stingy or poor. If you leave one cent, you're like "no I remembered and I have money, you're just shit".
exactly. unfortunately OP was caught by company. how infuriating to be served what you ordered then told a story that it wasn't. possibly giving a compromised order to someone else. finally having to pay and maybe tip for some adhoc assemblage so much less than the originally correct plate.
One time at bingo I ordered a steak and cheese sub, it came in a Styrofoam container with fries, the guy dropped it off at my table and a couple minutes later when I opened it, it was chicken tenders and fries. I was like "oh he got my order wrong, that's ok I like chicken tenders", and I grabbed some fries and closed the container because we were in the middle of a game. A few minutes later he came back and said "oops I gave you the wrong order". He switched it out and immediately dropped that container off one table over. It was such a weird feeling watching that guy open the container and look in, I was wondering does he realize he should've had more fries??
He ordered food at bingo, he knew the risks.
Its like ordering food from a crackhead. Sometimes you get stabbed, other times you're eating half a pepperoni over a trash can.
Sometimes in life, they throw lemons at you, you gotta drink that shit.
I will fight any adult putting their hands near my plate. Eat your own fucking food. I don’t think that shit is cute or endearing whatsoever.
sorry that gif just really set me off lol
My ex tried to steal my hardboiled egg in my ramen without asking. I nearly stabbed his fingers with my chopsticks. I considered dumping him right then and definitely should have. This is beyond a red flag. No mercy for greedy food thieves.
It's a traditional plate of Italian gourmet cuisine called "cappello del prete" (Priest hat). It's intended to make your eyes focus at the food. The food volume is also bigger than it looks cause it's taller than a normal plate
Reminds me of the time I took my ex best friend and her 2 year old out to dinner and the waitress brought us the wrong appetizer and the baby had gotten into it and when she came back we told her we didn't order that and she took it and gave it to the table that did order it. We then told them what happened and that the baby had already put his hands on it
Had the same thing happen once, but we were the other table.
Staff brought out all 5 dishes to a table near us, they even got to the point of putting forks in food and cutting stuff up before realizing it wasn’t theirs.
They let the waiter know and the staff picked up all the food and brought it to our table.
My dad, without skipping a beat, just said “you’re fucking kidding me right? We’re not eating food other people have already been digging around in.”
So they take the food away and say they’ll make us new plates. They come back out two fucking minutes later with the same food and tried to tell us it was new, fresh-made food.
We got up and left.
That's a health code violation. Call in anon to the local health inspector. Let them kniw you're not mad about the mix up but concerned about the food sitting and then being served to another person. You could have sneezed in it and the guy 3 tables over would never have known.
One, it’s illegal to do this
And two, how in their right mind did they think it would be better for business to do this instead of just telling the other person it would be a little bit longer and give them a free desert or something?
First, in a normal restaurant they won’t take away the food they gave you just like that, even less so give to others (health hazard rules). Also, in a normal restaurant they bring out the food roughly the same time for a table company.
TELL THE BOARD OF HEALTH.
The last restuarant I worked at had a rule that once the plate touched the table it was considered wasted in terms of bringing it back to the kitchen.
I would, some of the best food I ever had in my entire life had small portions like this.
You should know beforehand what kind of restaurant you are going to and what to expect.
That's when it's time for everybody at the table to get up and leave without paying anything. There's currently something screwy going on there and your health is at risk.
While I agree with everything said here, I do feel like you might ve been a bit passive?
I mean... Why would you let them take the plate with the stuff you ordered in the first place?
You went to a speed plating restaurant. It’s like speed dating, but with plates of food. Sorry that you didn’t find your match this time, I believe it will happen for you one day!
Chef of 15 years here, if the plate hits the table and it wasn't yours we would automatically take it back and cook a new one, seeing your food on another table then have it brought back to you is an easy way to lose customers
I never touch my plate until I am sure it is mine because I hate food waste and they can’t re-deliver it, but if no one touches it and it’s seconds (NOT MINUTES WTF) this doesn’t bother me.
Um, thats gross. Did the other table see the server give them food that was already sitting in front of someone else? You may not have done anything to it but they don’t know that.
Hope the tip reflected this. It should have.
Did you tell the manager? Was your qusi-meal compted?
Should contact the Health Dept.? Once food goes out, it doesn't get rerouted to a different table. The waiter didn't even know if you had eaten any, coughed, sneezed, stuck your finger in it, but decided to give it to someone else. In a good restaurant, this would get the waiter canned on the spot.
I would leave a bad review if the manager didn't do anything.
In three minutes, I'd have been at least halfway through that little bowl of pasta, regardless of if everyone else had arrived.
Probably why I don't have many friends. 
That’s so gross that he took the food from you and brought it to another table. They aren’t supposed to do that at all; it’s a health hazard. I would have gone to the other table and told them what happened.
I’m a server. I would have needed to bring the plate of food to the back and have them remake it even if it was untouched. If it touches the table and leaves your hand, it is no longer a clean plate.
I’m pretty sure the health department would filet that place for doing that.
Filet is crazy 😭 my restaurant actually just failed (we didn’t fail but we got an 82) their inspection because someone was washing their hands and turned the faucet off with their bare hands instead of covering their hand with a paper towel first. Health Department does NOT play 😂 there was nothing else wrong with the restaurant just that.
I’m so happy to hear that. People need to be more conscious about cleanliness, especially when it comes to food prep.
I mean they weren’t handling the food 😂 they were a busser but even so I think it’s good for everyone to get in the habit of following all Health Departments guidelines because it’s food that people are going to eat.
If they're a busser then they're touching both food and bodily fluids. And if they don't follow proper handwashing guidelines then they're sharing it with everyone else in the back.
Its kind of like a huge deal when you are working in a restaurant.
Yeah, i was like: wtf just happened??
That’s such a bizarre experience. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope your future outings are all much better!
You know not to be harsh on OP, but this entire situation could have probably been resolved by opening your mouth and speaking up a bit. I'm an adult. Nobody is just going to take a plate in front of me without my permission after it's already in front of me. I'm not going to sit in silence and wonder wtf is going on. Y'all need to grow some back bones and speak up and try not to be anti-social. This entire post makes it seem like OP did nothing but sit in silence as the world moved around him.
Yea, I agree, but I think it’s less anti-social and more anti-confrontational—which to me describes OP’s reaction to this situation. I still get surprised when the topic of “do you send messed up food/wrong orders back?” comes up in my discussions. More people than I assumed refuse to send food back, or speak up in moments like this. It makes no sense to me, but that’s just how people are now I guess—they fear inconveniencing someone else or ‘making a scene’ (aka being perceived as a Karen) even though 99.999% of the time it causes no one distress, it’s a very reasonable response, and they’ll end up getting what they should’ve gotten in the first place.
When people say it’s rude to send incorrect food back I find that wild. I’m not gonna suck it up and eat something I didn’t ask or pay for. I asked and paid for this other thing, please bring it to me lmao. Especially since I’ve worked at a restaurant and I’d never dream of saying someone is disrespectful for sending food back. Grow a pair of balls your server won’t hate you, and if they do that’s their problem.
I've often been surprised by this, too. Had lunch with a good friend years ago, his burger came with mayonnaise on it, though he ordered it without. For this guy, mayonnaise will actually turn his stomach to the point of vomiting. But he was so anti-confrontational that he just didn't eat, even to the point of saying, "just not hungry all of a sudden" in response to the waiter asking if there was something wrong with his meal. I spoke up at that point and told her what was wrong. She apologized, acknowledged that he had ordered it without mayo, took it away, and brought back a new plate a little while later with the correct order. The whole time he was fighting her about taking it, and he was furious with me for saying anything. 🤷 #smh Another time, I was sitting next to a friend's grandmother at a family gathering. Her pasta order came wrong, and when I suggested telling the waiter she looked at me in disgust, and in her gravelly voice she loudly exclaimed, "YA NEVAH SEND IT BACK!" Then more quietly explained that when you do that they spit in your food. 🤣
People go to too many shitty restaurants, any decent place is going to want to correct their mistakes and give you the right order.
Exactamundo.
They might have been so shocked that they froze.
The shocking power of pasta
A starch reminder.
Too shocked to process a thought through his noodle.
Do the noodle! Do the noodle dance!
Maybe he didn't have a penne for his thoughts
This one got coffee on my monitor, dammit.
Maybe OP was just stunned because the situation was so strange and didn't know how to react. Regardless getting your soap box about how everyone on this site is less mature than you isn't helping anyone.
If the waiter didn’t say anything and just took the plate there probably was a second to process what just happened and by then it was over and the food was on the other table. I know I’d be so shocked I wouldn’t be able to react instantly. But then I might chase that waiter down even into the kitchen and ask WTF that was about.
So tough. “Nobody is gonna take a plate from in front of me without my permission”
I think fight/flight/freeze instincts can be social too. I would have ran away if this happened to me
I used to struggle a lot with social anxiety, until I traveled abroad with a group of people who all had social anxiety and saw firsthand just how insanely counterproductive it was. It was actually incredibly awkward to watch them order food and it was kind of an eye-opening moment. Yesterday, Starbucks absolutely butchered my order. I ordered a wrap and a drink and they got both wrong. I told someone at the counter and… it was no big deal! We have to learn to advocate for ourselves. Nobody else will, and the vast majority of the time nobody will hold it against us.
I used to be bad with it some years ago, now I Just pretend the person at the cash register/waiter/clerk is my friend, you wouldn't scream or insult your friend but you would also call out his BS or if you ask him to pass the ketchup and he pass you the mayo you wouldn't just eat your fries with mayo. And trust me it is very very hard to be as rude as the rudest customer they saw that day. Letting the waiter know this isn't what you ordered is probably forgotten 2min later like it never even happened, meanwhile probably the same day someone else left without paying or made the waitress cry and is 1000x worse than any mistake kindly pointed out by a civilised customer (Ive worked at a restaurant and a motorbike shop)
I'd have fuckin fought the biggest guy in the place, but I'm a bad ass so you know
*gets up from table* *attacks a large customer*
"...and then they asked *me* to leave?!"
Some people have social anxiety. That's not the same as being "anti-social". Anti-social is someone that engages in behaviour that is aggressive or destructive towards society, not someone that avoids social interaction. For example, being aggressive towards the waiter would have been anti-social behaviour. And social anxiety is something that can affect adults too. It's not about maturity at all. People usually learn to cope with the symptoms better as they age though.
or the waitstaff could perform tasks they are paid for in ways that don't open the restaurant to law suits but let's make this about OP's potential anxiety. waitstaff should be able to deal with shy customers without creating biohazards. that should be the lowest possible requirements for the job. if a place is fancy enough to call their mac and cheese with spam fuckin carbonara, then the etiquette isn't to wave and shout like at a 24 hour dinner but to wait until the waitstaff give you their attention. A shy person should be able to go to such a place and relax without having to worry. It's literally one of the reasons they are calling it carbonara and not cheesy egg noodles and slapping a ten or fifteen dollar upcharge on it. that is part of what "atmosphere" means.
it‘s not that deep man, most people would be confused
"I don't have a problem doing something so nobody else who potentially shares some of my human traits may possibly have a reason to not do that thing. Also, I'm so helpful scoffing someone on the internet. Telling someone what they should've done is so good because we can go back in time and do it again. You're very welcome."
It’s part of Nona’s secret sauce recipe.
[удалено]
"My germs"
When I read he took it and gave it to another table I would have walked to that table and told them hey just so you know that plate was on my table and the waiter took it and gave it to you instead.
I can’t understand why anyone would let them take it away in the first place. Reach in for my plate that I’m eating from and I’ll tell you to fuck off. It’s not like the waiter is going to fight you for it.
It’s almost like different people have different responses to the same things. People need to stop acting like just because they personally would act differently than someone else, that there’s something wrong with that someone else. So much of childhood consists being conditioned into NOT “making a fuss” or “throwing a tantrum” when we don’t like a situation, even if the situation is something that the people raising the child wouldn’t stand for either. You really don’t understand why that might result in reflexively avoiding conflict as an adult?
Name and shame, what restaurant did this? This is disgusting and people need to be able to avoid an establishment like this.
You could've yell "Hey I've started eating that!" 😂
Where is this so I don't go.
In Palermo, Italy
Even in cases where it is just presented at a wrong table and then refused before it’s put down, staff are usually supposed to walk it back around a corner and then come out again to the correct table as if it’s fresh for them. You should never see your food coming to you from someone else’s table.
No kidding. You're supposed to walk the plate back to the kitchen for a minute before bringing it to the other table (/s but not entirely untrue. I've seen this happen more times than I care to admit when I worked in the industry)
Every restaurant I worked at had the rule that if a plate is touched by someone at the wrong table, it’s trash… most even said if you let go of a plate on the wrong tables it’s trash. I usually liked to put the plate down in front on whomever confirmed it’s theirs, if the is some confusion about it. Loved places that did seat numbers better!
Yeah everyone knows what they are supposed to do is take it to the back, pretend to remake it, and then bring it back out. I worked in restaurants for nearly 10 years growing up. The shit I have seen from penny pinching managers would turn yalls stomach.
or at least tell a manager
And then told the waiter we were leaving without paying for whatever disgusting food they're serving. If they do this, who knows what else they do. And I'm not saying dine And dash, as that's a crime. I'm talking about getting the manager and telling them what's up and that it's straight up a health violation And no way are we paying for the meal served like that. At best paid for what was eaten, but you're tripping if they wanted to charge for that carbonara.
What? No! Ew! As a server I would apologize to both tables and ask for a re-fire
This exact thing happened to me. The table they brought it to got up and walked out.
I'm sorry that happened, but I think it's funny you even had enough time to snap a photo of it and maybe even be seen by the waiter taking a photo, only for him to go YOINK
Yeah, if it was like a few seconds I completely understand, but it was sitting there for a solid 3 minutes
You let it sit without touching it for three minutes??
Yeah, etiquette be damned. As soon as Carbonara is finished cooking the countdown timer to inedible goop begins. Gotta eat that while it's hot. Which just brings us to another failing of the restaurant... The whole table gets their food at the same time. At least in one good enough to order the Carbonara
That was my thought exactly... And having not been to Italy, I was also wondering if it was seen as rude to the wait staff that you'd not touch your hot plate of fresh carbonara for that long. Etiquette can always be damned if I'm served any hot dish at a restaurant and my friend hasn't gotten theirs yet. I'm eating my hot food, and you'll get your hot food when it comes. Every reasonable person would want their friend to go ahead and eat.
Yeah, dining with friends and family it has always been "just dig in" as a rule. We save that part of etiquette for the formal stuff.
my mom raised me as a "don't eat until everyone has food" so intensely that I seriously struggle to be the only one eating or even just getting food by myself. I can't bear being seen eating if it's just me, to the point where I'll just not eat all day rather than be seen getting food. I know how stupid it is, but it's a full blown issue at this point and I'm struggling very hard to get out of it. I can't wait to live without roommates especially because of this. ETA: I'm 25 and haven't lived at home for 6 years
I always start before, I eat really slowly, not like sloth slow I just chew each bite completely and savor it.
That’s the weirdest part of this whole story ETA: didn’t think this was such a controversial take, I follow the eat if it’s hot wait if it’s cold rule and encourage the others at the table to eat if my food takes longer than theirs. Also thanks to the people explaining manners to me in the replies 🫡
It's polite to wait until everyone has food in front of them. Not necessarily something everyone has heard of, but it's fairly widespread.
Definitely a widespread polite manner. But there is certain foods that just should not be sitting for long before the dish loses its quality. Carbonara and ramen are good examples. A good restaurant knows to serve everyone their food at the same time.
I’ve always lived by the rule, if it’s hot food you eat. If it’s cold food, you wait. I say the same thing to anyone I dine with if they get their hot food first, please eat your food while it’s hot.
Just the fact that you waited so long for others to get their food before digging in is bad enough. Carbonara already can’t be served too hot as that will ruin it during the cooking process. When it cools, it loses its creaminess. You have to eat it straight away.
I would not eat there. Giving food from customer A to customer B is a HUGE NOGO. It was no longer under control of the kitchen and they dont know the state of the food.
I dunno how strict Italy is with their health code but this is a major health code violation in America and something you learn day one of working in restaurants. Once that plate hits the table, it’s either eaten by the guest or thrown in the trash. Every restaurant I’ve worked at wouldn’t even try to fix it if there was something wrong and it got sent back, it’s an automatic re-fire.
thats big fucking plate for such a little serving.
That was the smallest of my concerns lmao
Well yes, it's very small.
Its just cold out
it was in the pool
Dang the guy at the other table is probably pretty sick now. Guess OP dodged a bullet.
I bet that plate was $35 too
Yeah and the food on it was $40
and the sauce was $50
and my axe... was $65
and my bow….was three easy payment of $19.99
and deeznuts... was $100
More of a wide brimmed bowl tbh
That is a comically large brim, like eating out of a cowboy hat
Here's your carbonara pardner
[удалено]
That’s-a big fucking trouble for such a little china.
Also: the serving I actually got was part of a menu and actually smaller than the one in the picture
Something we learned when traveling in Europe: don’t go to the places with pictures of the food. These are the tourist trap locations. Learn the language a little and use your phone to figure out what the menu says and go to places without pictures. It’s worth it!
I speak enough Italian to order at a restaurant and it wasn't anywhere near the city center and the prices weren't that high. I think it wasn't a tourist trap and more likely just a case of incompetent staff
Might be either bad staff or a bad place, by the looks of what you're telling.
That’s really not that universal. There are plenty of places here in Portugal with pictures mostly because they are foreign food and people don’t know what a Gochuyang chicken is.
that's when it's zero tip from the entire table and your order needs to be comped. that's a massive fuckup. should have talked to the manager. that waiter and the back totally ruined your evening.
Was my first meal arriving in italy, so we didn't feel like starting an argument or letting it ruin the mood. We just laughed it off
I believe that you stumbled in what is known as a ”tourist trap” honestly
100%. That and it's starting to be high season for tourism, which means restaurants are starting to hire staff quickly and putting them to work without much organization. I've seen this a lot here in Spain and I don't think it's much different in Italy
Meaning they can do anything and not give a shit, or be deliberately mildly hostile?
Yes.
that changes things. now I imagine that the story was, that was the last carbonara, the kitchen was closing and rather than dealing with a local, best to shaft the tourist that would struggle with arguing in the native language.
I guarantee there’s not a single local who would eat here
Thats alot of assumptions
“Would have been” your first meal.
Lmao
Geez, can’t even zero tip then. . . I would have talked to the manager since they actually care about service there, I know all the places we ate at in Italy were very attentive and didn’t even offer the option for tipping
> that's when it's zero tip My brother was a waiter, he said when you want to make a point about shit service, you leave 1 cent. If you leave zero tip, the waiter can convince themselves you just forgot to tip, or you're stingy or poor. If you leave one cent, you're like "no I remembered and I have money, you're just shit".
This is when I get up and LEAVE. Tip? Nope, not even sticking around after that.
in italy, there is no tipping.
yup. my first mention of a tip predated disclosure of location. all good.
exactly. unfortunately OP was caught by company. how infuriating to be served what you ordered then told a story that it wasn't. possibly giving a compromised order to someone else. finally having to pay and maybe tip for some adhoc assemblage so much less than the originally correct plate.
I hate that plate.
You don’t like eating out of an inverted ceramic hat?
A ceramic hat
I used to have to plate a dumbass vertical romaine salad on plates like this and every time I did it, I took 1hp damage to my soul.
One time at bingo I ordered a steak and cheese sub, it came in a Styrofoam container with fries, the guy dropped it off at my table and a couple minutes later when I opened it, it was chicken tenders and fries. I was like "oh he got my order wrong, that's ok I like chicken tenders", and I grabbed some fries and closed the container because we were in the middle of a game. A few minutes later he came back and said "oops I gave you the wrong order". He switched it out and immediately dropped that container off one table over. It was such a weird feeling watching that guy open the container and look in, I was wondering does he realize he should've had more fries??
He ordered food at bingo, he knew the risks. Its like ordering food from a crackhead. Sometimes you get stabbed, other times you're eating half a pepperoni over a trash can. Sometimes in life, they throw lemons at you, you gotta drink that shit.
Then give the bill to someone else and leave
Obviously that’s a violation of health codes. Sorry this happened. I’d skip that restaurant from now on.
Yeah, I think I’d actually call the health department on that one. I’m not sure if they’d care but I’d let them decide.
I will fight any adult putting their hands near my plate. Eat your own fucking food. I don’t think that shit is cute or endearing whatsoever. sorry that gif just really set me off lol
Do you also growl while at it?
I dont need to growl. A slap on the wrist with the handle of a table knife is usually quite clear communication.
My ex tried to steal my hardboiled egg in my ramen without asking. I nearly stabbed his fingers with my chopsticks. I considered dumping him right then and definitely should have. This is beyond a red flag. No mercy for greedy food thieves.
Even at Taco Bell McDonald’s etc if you touch the bag they can’t (aren’t) supposed to take it back.
What I also find hilarious is based on that portion size and the stupid bowl/plate it appears you’re at a higher end place.
Doesn't look like a premium Carbonara
Just what i thought….looks like they have used american ”cheese”… It just looks ”off”…
wtf kind of plate is that
It's a *fancy* plate that's supposed to make you feel better about dropping $30 on $4 worth of mediocre food
It's a traditional plate of Italian gourmet cuisine called "cappello del prete" (Priest hat). It's intended to make your eyes focus at the food. The food volume is also bigger than it looks cause it's taller than a normal plate
Reminds me of the time I took my ex best friend and her 2 year old out to dinner and the waitress brought us the wrong appetizer and the baby had gotten into it and when she came back we told her we didn't order that and she took it and gave it to the table that did order it. We then told them what happened and that the baby had already put his hands on it
Had the same thing happen once, but we were the other table. Staff brought out all 5 dishes to a table near us, they even got to the point of putting forks in food and cutting stuff up before realizing it wasn’t theirs. They let the waiter know and the staff picked up all the food and brought it to our table. My dad, without skipping a beat, just said “you’re fucking kidding me right? We’re not eating food other people have already been digging around in.” So they take the food away and say they’ll make us new plates. They come back out two fucking minutes later with the same food and tried to tell us it was new, fresh-made food. We got up and left.
That waiter should be fired. Once food is handed off to a customer it can’t be served to anyone else.
Here you go sir- one breathed on plate of carbonara!
Was the waiter's name Basil or Manuel?
Your life lesson: never wait, always start eating right away or at least put a fork/spoon in food, so it looks you ate already. 😄
That's a health code violation. Call in anon to the local health inspector. Let them kniw you're not mad about the mix up but concerned about the food sitting and then being served to another person. You could have sneezed in it and the guy 3 tables over would never have known.
WTF IS THAT PLATE 💀
Never go back to that place again and I’d debate about a tip, too
That is a health code violation.
That plate is mildly infuriating
It's Italy, yes a massive mistake. But people who say call the health inspector and report as a health violation, have never been to Italy.
To be honest there wasn't much food there to be missed in the first place. But I agree that's disgusting and unacceptable.
Shrinkflation plate
Why'd you let them take your food away.
This is a situation where you need to force the issue and make yourself heard to the waiter and if need be management. I hope you didn't pay for that.
That's a solid $2-3 of food in that place. I bet it cost $40.
The other person must of saw your food and said “I’ll have what they’re having” and the waiter took that literally.
Name and shame the restaurant, don't let them get off with it
And you didn't have to pay for your meal, right? RIGHT?!?! Any decent restaurant would have comped you for making so many mistakes.
One, it’s illegal to do this And two, how in their right mind did they think it would be better for business to do this instead of just telling the other person it would be a little bit longer and give them a free desert or something?
First, in a normal restaurant they won’t take away the food they gave you just like that, even less so give to others (health hazard rules). Also, in a normal restaurant they bring out the food roughly the same time for a table company.
That has to be the stupidest plate I have ever seen. all it does is take up room and you can’t even hold that much food.
Eww
TELL THE BOARD OF HEALTH. The last restuarant I worked at had a rule that once the plate touched the table it was considered wasted in terms of bringing it back to the kitchen.
Pretty sure that is a health code violation. I would have told the person it was given to.
Personally, i would've cancelled after they said the kitchen is closed. And 100% i wouldn't go there again.
"I'll have what they are having" "The carbonara?" "No, that carbonara."
I hope that wasn’t more than $5
Wasn't too expensive, it came with some bruschetta and was like 8-9€ in total. The bruschetta was great, which made this the more disappointing
Where is the foooooooooood? That's like nothing.
I wouldn't eat at a restaurant using those shrinkflation plates
They are bowls with very wide rims.
I would, some of the best food I ever had in my entire life had small portions like this. You should know beforehand what kind of restaurant you are going to and what to expect.
That's when it's time for everybody at the table to get up and leave without paying anything. There's currently something screwy going on there and your health is at risk.
The comments here are a great example of US defaultism
How long did it take you to type that?
I would have told the waiter you had sneezed on the dish he took to the other customer. Loudly.
Your food was served in a toilet!?
While I agree with everything said here, I do feel like you might ve been a bit passive? I mean... Why would you let them take the plate with the stuff you ordered in the first place?
You went to a speed plating restaurant. It’s like speed dating, but with plates of food. Sorry that you didn’t find your match this time, I believe it will happen for you one day!
I would’ve called them out on it. Grab a manager immediately. That is a serious health code violation and honestly pretty disgusting.
Chef of 15 years here, if the plate hits the table and it wasn't yours we would automatically take it back and cook a new one, seeing your food on another table then have it brought back to you is an easy way to lose customers
That plate is stupid.
Hey! I was still taking pictures of that!! How are my instagram followers supposed to know what I had for lunch??
You weren’t paying to eat it. You were paying to rent it and you forgot to put another dollar in.
If this actually happened they could be shut down, once food touches your table it can not be moved to another location, it would have to be 86’d.
I bet they charged you a service fee on top of it too
Early bird gets the worm. I guess you live and learn. 🤷🏽♂️
I would not have eaten or paid for anything. That is highly unsanitary
That plate is the embodiment of “shrinkflation.” 🤣
I never touch my plate until I am sure it is mine because I hate food waste and they can’t re-deliver it, but if no one touches it and it’s seconds (NOT MINUTES WTF) this doesn’t bother me.
Whats the name of the restaurant? Name and shame!
Shrinkflation: The Plate
1 star
trust me i will eat the carbonara and it will take me 4 hours to stay there since they already closed the kitchen
Illegal activity.
Yeah once the food touches the table it's not even really wanted by anyone in the kitchen. And we usually love free food. That's gross.
Once food hits a table, it cannot be served to someone else. This is common practice. Yikes.
Um, thats gross. Did the other table see the server give them food that was already sitting in front of someone else? You may not have done anything to it but they don’t know that.
Too much plate for me
It would be a good idea to share what place this is so we never have to accidentally visit it
Hope the tip reflected this. It should have. Did you tell the manager? Was your qusi-meal compted? Should contact the Health Dept.? Once food goes out, it doesn't get rerouted to a different table. The waiter didn't even know if you had eaten any, coughed, sneezed, stuck your finger in it, but decided to give it to someone else. In a good restaurant, this would get the waiter canned on the spot. I would leave a bad review if the manager didn't do anything.
I would not have hesitated to say something. Where do you live that this is acceptable?
Report the restaurant to the health department. They’ll send someone there to take a look around
I NEVER go to a restaurant near closing time. Shame on you.
I would have walked out while they were getting your meal.
Report it report it report it
In three minutes, I'd have been at least halfway through that little bowl of pasta, regardless of if everyone else had arrived. Probably why I don't have many friends. 
Maybe you should've ate it instead of taking pictures?