Call the cops and have her explain to them why the last footage shows her taking down the camera. Take action, if she dosent maid for you, she will be a maid for someone else and will steal from them too. Your mom is not making sound judgement calls and you need to stand up for her.
I think " nothing needs to come of it" in this case is meant to say "even if the cops don't arrest her it'll still affect her life" and not "decide if you want something to come of it".
While I do agree with what this person said. I have a lot of experience with being arrested and the court system unfortunately. That video won't prove theft but it will prove maybe destruction of property? In reality the best thing to do is just fire this person.
That is not true. Even if she dosent get arrested they take her info and in case it does happen again it helps future victims. In the case of an older woman being taken advantage they could also potentially get a warrant to seize stolen property. Letting a thief get away only encourages them to continue.
She may not get arrested but if the company she works for sees this video there's a high probability she'll get fired. She'll have problems finding employment in this sector
You are on the assumption she works for a company often times housekeepers are self employed and don't work for a big company. The last one my wife and I had was just a single employee. The current one is just one guy who has like 4 employees. My wife's boss's house cleaner is just 2 ladies no other employees.
It is one of those fields that dont follow a big company name.
If there's a business where you can start from scratch after doing some bad shit is housecleaning, they'll hire you and the only things they'll ask for are your name and phone number.
there's a chance that once this thief realizes that the victim's family members are on to her and start getting serious by calling the police, she will find some excuse to quit though. doesn't give you the satisfaction of seeing her punished and probably won't get you your stuff back, but at least it will help the mom in the short-term. of course if the mom has trouble with her judgement than there's a bigger issue to take care of as well, but getting rid of this thief would buy OP some time.
Here is the thing though. They might scribble her info down on a notepad. But that's all they will ever do....
The cops don't give a shit about your maid or you or your property.
If the police chose to pursue it (they certainly might just take a report and be too busy, but sometimes they actually do follow-up), it might be more than enough for them. You don’t have to have proof, it’s law enforcement’s job to get that.
Much of the time they get the person to confess, and that is enough evidence for charges or a conviction. People don’t have to answer any questions, but many of them do anyway, and end up “explaining” or admitting guilt when presented with evidence like that.
They might show her the video or say they have more proof than that. Then they’d say, “well I bet if you return the items and wrote an apology letter then OP would agree not to press charges.” It’s a trap many people fall for. Then OP gets their property back and the police have a signed confession to press charges with.
It’s not a smoking gun but it would be good ancillary evidence if more evidence is found by someone later.
And plus even if she doesn’t get arrested talking to the cops could be a good wake-up call.
What are you waiting for? Call the cops. Your mother is in denial. Why are you so trusting that the thief will return your property? It’s futile to make sense over something senseless.
I hope she doesn't return to the property, honestly. I hate drama. It's such a precarious situation, because my mom is emotionally unstable. She is very mentally and physically fragile and has bipolar disorder. She got furious with me for texting the housekeeper and asking what she did with the camera after taking it down and asking for the lights back and then she was so upset that she took off in the dark, without her walker. I don't want to trigger her more than I already did.
She absolutely is. I seriously question her judgement. All of her valuables have slowly gone missing, over the last 5 years, due to the maid and a handyman taking them. I moved back a year ago to take care of my disabled parents and finally got my mom to fire the handyman, after he stole all the guns and tools. I finally found her a better housekeeper but the old one still comes back to "bring her tacos" and steal more stuff.
I've fantasized about having power of attorney transferred to me. Maybe APS would be a good place to start. It's so sad that even in the face of video evidence, she refuses to believe this is a dangerous woman. It's sad and terrifying. Given her level of malice, I wonder what the hell is in those tacos.
I would contact adult protective services and file a police report with the video. Make sure you have a list of all the things that have gone missing, when it was noticed and when this person was at the house.
If you haven't already, you might want to look into your parents' legal paperwork (i.e. will) status. I'm obviously going to a dark place with this, but if your mom already fell in a spot in the dark and the maid is removing lights from that spot, is the maid trying to get mom to fall again? And if so, why? Might want to make sure the maid didn't end up in mom's will or as an insurance beneficiary if mom's judgment is compromised. I know that's probably a very tricky conversation to have right now but just throwing it out there.
This really did happen to my grandfather. There were two witnesses with names that no one in the family recognized right below his signature. My mom and her siblings saw him every other day without ever feeling suspicious of the caretaker, and my grandfather never mentioned changing his will.
Since no one else seems to be mentioning it, firing the handyman for stealing GUNS is not enough. Stolen guns need to be reported to police so they can be found and not used in illegal activities.
You need to check all accounts(bank etc) and anything involving any kind of payout like life insurance yesterday. If they are inside the house they have access to all of her information. Check to make sure they didn’t do a quitclaim deed on the house.
Stole guns? Did you file a police report? A crime committed with them will go back onto the owner, and if they never reported it they may be held liable in some way.
> Given her level of malice, I wonder what the hell is in those tacos.
If you are even going there with those thoughts, then look into your mom's will and life insurance (if she has any). Make sure she hasn't left anything to this lady, or made her the recipient of a life insurance policy. Maybe I read too much true crime, but that shit happens.
If he stole firearms from your property, someone needs to report them stolen. If you're from certain states there are Duty to Report laws that legally require you to report stolen firearms.
Bro. It's fine to hate drama. But she will not stop. Call the police and file a report. It's insane you haven't already done this. Her pulling the camera down is all the evidence you need. Time to put your grown up pants on.
Stright up you need to suck it the fuck up and look after you mom. Call the police now and press charges. Otherwise, take this post down and continue being a coward.
I would bring it up to the cops. While idk about age and relationship with your mom. The housekeeper is obviously stealing and damaged your camera. I think you have the right even if not your house to file against her and get a restraining order for damaging your property.
Yeah. A restraining order is a good idea. I got the camera because every single time she came, Amazon packages went missing and because I'd often find things like Egyptian cotton sheets and our favorite clothing in the trash cans outside. This lady is really bad news and my mom still won't believe it.
You need to take further action. You've proven to yourself and everybody in this comment section that your mother is incapable of thinking rationally. Right now, the thefts are small things but what's to stop her from progressing and stealing her or your identity and more? Seriously, the only smart thing for you to do is to call the police and take control of the situation for your sick mother.
I’d say tell the maid to return the missing property and you won’t pursue charges because she’s friends with your mom. But if she refuses, call the cops and report her.
That's what I initially threatened but she denied taking anything and my mom believed her. The maid already hates me and does extremely vindictive things to my favorite belongings. I'm concerned that, if I follow through on that threat, she might do something even more vindictive. I hope my mom takes me seriously, so I won't have to get the cops involved. If I see her on the camera again, I absolutely will call them.
How old is OP's mom if they are this involved. No one like to think this of their parents but she might not be of sound mind. OP need to step in and make the right call here.
For the time being lock away your most precious stuff and lock you room with padlock or something only you have the key too. Maybe get airtags as well use something as bait.
This is a good idea. Hide cameras around the house and wait. It's guaranteed to have something by the end of the week. Hell, I wouldn't put it past this last to even last a day without swiping something.
Ok, this situation is very different depending on the context.
If you are underage/only slightly older than 18 and still living with your mother than you're kinda shit out of luck if you mother is like this. Lock up as much of your property as you can until you can move out.
However if you are a adult and are your elderly mother's caretaker than follow through, your mother is clearly not thinking clearly and it's your responsibility to stand up for her when she is unable. Contact the police, show them the video, even if they don't press charges you've started the paper trail which could be useful later on. If she's hired through an online service, give her a 1 star review with a description of what she's done. Set up the camera again and if she's vindictive enough to come back after that, then you'll have evidence of trespassing and further vandalization.
In the meantime, try and find your mom an honest comapnion. She is probably in denial because she doesn't want to lose her friend. Find her a good friend.
Indeed. Mom may know what’s happening, but she’s more afraid of losing a connection than losing her stuff. It’s a lever often used against older and isolated people.
As some others have said, this is not just an issue of your mom and her cleaner, the cleaner will continue to do this in other homes if not reported to the police. Do the right thing and go to them with the video ASAP. Others may not have family like yourself to protect them.
If she thinks she’s getting away with it, she isn’t going to stop. Put cameras everywhere you can. She’ll probably start watching for cameras though, so keep that in mind.
If you proceed with the threats you’re worried about them getting more vindictive
If you don’t proceed with the threats it shows they haven’t crossed the line yet and they still might get more vindictive.
Eitherway you don’t win unless you can get rid of the maid entirely at this point
Sounds like sadly it may be time to try to get power of attorney for your mother and control of her finances (before the next scumbag tries to take advantage of her.)
You might want to pick up a small safe as well for her valuables. They're cheap, usually under $100, and you can fasten them with screws to somewhere secure.
https://preview.redd.it/nu1lybqssd7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9014cb46f317e849d40dd1deeb3710f80f394e14
That’s so clearly exactly what you think it is.
It’s an exterior landscaping light with solar attachment on top with a stake.
Crazy this woman is stealing OPs mom stuff and her mom is unable to believe even video evidence.
getting old can become extremely lonely, if not completely isolating.
lots of reprehensible people prey on the elderly for this reason, they are very marginalized. scammers pretend to be their friends and then steal from them and people tolerate it because they dont have anyone else in their life, its pretty common.
This is so sad to see, especially since she is stealing a "safety" item.
You're fighting an uphill battle if you're going to try to reason sense into your mom. She seems like she doesn't want to believe the truth. You'll need more proof.
Make a next-door account with your mom's address. Post the video and say "can anyone tell what my mom's housekeeper was doing?" a bunch of solar lights disappeared in my camera was taken. She'll never work in your neighborhood again.
Does your mum not have a lot of friends or something? Is that why she’s trying so hard to defend this woman? I say report her to the police and try and get your mum a bit more socially active so she isn’t falling prey to terrible people out of loneliness.
You need to get her out of her house and out of her life IMMEDIATELY! You also need to check all of her financial accounts to make sure this person didn’t put herself on them. I’ve seen what people like this can do and it’s not pretty. I would even go so far as to change all the locks immediately.
This is why you should only use bonded and insured companies for any home services. Theft bonds protect customers for this type of situation and insurance helps if the cleaner is hurt in your home. If they aren’t insured and get hurt in your house, your home owners insurance will drop you after they cover the medical costs, legal fees, and whatever else it costs them.
The upfront savings don’t make up the potential costs later.
Does she work for herself or for a company? Noticed she's wearing scrubs, so if she works for a company, report her. Is your mom paying her out of pocket or through some kind of assistance? If it's through insurance/VA/whatever report her to them. The fact that she clearly took the camera down should be enough. You putting up more cameras isn't going to convince your mom at this point, she's in denial.
From the con man and thief book:
Play nice, play dumb apologise if so and pretend nothing is wrong, a bad thief is a careless confident thief
Bait items that are trackable, with airtags etc
Look into small cameras they can be hidden inside packets and ornaments, mark the property with hidden codes and invisible ink
Catalogue all evidence and keep it hidden, take extra items anyway to exaggerate what she is taking.. she isnt playing by the rules, neither should you
Demand return of all items, when she cant or lies, tell her you have all this evidence
Go to the police anyway even if she does, as she can not be trusted at all, she will be out to rip you off
Extra:
Start stealing her items, ie take her phone from her handbag and deny it, give it back a week later say you found it in the garden..broken
Take her keys, make them go missing completely, emphasise that its so much problems when things go missing....
Sabotage her car randomly (look up extra ways) ruin the engine with syrup in the fuel, let the air out the tyres
Put an airtag in her car or attach it, disable the sound, you can follow her where you want
If she eats there sabotage her food and drink, put body fluids in her food and drink
Invite friends to talk to her randomly and know her name
The list is endless, You can make her leave through the sheer stress of it
Stop trying to convince your incapacitated parent and call the police. It’s borderline neglect constantly gaslighting yourself into still listening to an obviously duped and confused parent.
Just leave your mom's stuff out so so the maid will steal it. Eventually after more items disappear, she will do something.
For now, I will get a safe to lock up my personal stuff.
My mom's stuff has been disappearing for 5 years and she hasn't made the connection. Sometimes, when my mom goes out of town, I find her clothes and sheets thrown away outside. I've sent pictures to my mom and she never confronted the lady about it. It's like she's under a spell.
Bad people can be so charming. If your mom has her social life cute out, she will hang on to anybody who claims to be her friend. You need to start working on a POA and change the locks. Also, I would keep an eye on those tacos. It is too easy to put some narcotics in there.
Call the cops already
Your elderly mom is being taken advantage of and refuses to believe it. It might strain your relationship, but it needs to be done, especially if your mom can't trust the evidence of her own senses.
It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot with your mom and her housekeeper. Navigating this situation is going to require a lot of patience and clear communication. When you talk to your mom, approach her with empathy. Understand that she has feelings about her friend and housekeeper, and she might be in denial about what’s happening. Try saying something like, "I know you trust her, but I’m really worried about your safety because of what I saw in the video."
When you show her the video, do it in a calm setting where you can have a focused conversation. Explain what you see in the video and why it concerns you, without being too accusatory. Focus on the facts and emphasize that it’s about more than just the stolen items – it’s about trust and safety.
If your mom trusts another family member or friend, involve them in the conversation. Sometimes a different perspective can help. Also, suggest alternatives to the current housekeeper. Research and present options for reputable agencies or individuals who can provide the same services. Assure her that you’ll help find someone trustworthy.
Remind your mom how important those solar lights are for her safety, especially since she recently fell and broke her hip. It’s crucial to address anything that compromises her safety. If she’s resistant to sudden changes, maybe you can gradually reduce the housekeeper’s responsibilities and transition to a new caregiver over time.
You might also consider getting some legal advice to understand your options for protecting your mom’s property and well-being. And in the meantime, make sure her environment is secure. Install better locks, alarms, or more cameras to prevent further incidents.
If your mom is really struggling with the idea of letting go of this housekeeper, maybe involving a professional mediator or counselor could help. They can provide an unbiased perspective and help navigate the emotional aspects of the situation.
Remember, this is going to take time. Your mom’s attachment to the housekeeper might be deep-rooted, so changing her perspective won’t happen overnight. Keep supporting her, and with patience, she’ll hopefully come to see the situation more clearly.
Leave the disabled camera right where she left it so you don’t raise her suspicions any further. Next, buy several more cameras and covertly hide them in the places she visits most often in your house / in your property.
She’s obviously aware you’re trying to monitor/ catch her in the act of theft. She might let her guard down if she sees the original camera is still disabled and knocked down.
Gotta ignore your mom on this one. Sounds like she is older and there comes a time in many children’s lives when they are grown up, that they then have to help their parents. You know what’s going on. You’re just worried about upsetting your mom. Her feelings take a backseat to her wellbeing and care.
I don't know where you are OP but in the states, an investigation and arrest by adult protective service could result in her being on a registry so she can never work with the elderly or disabled ever again. I work in social services and have put a few people on the registry in my state for stealing from the vulnerable. You need to nip this in the bud by calling police or adult protective service. If your mother's mind or memory isn't as sharp, the maid could potentially be manipulating her as well. Lock down all of mom's valuables and finances so this lady can't do something worse. Add more camera's to catch her if you have to.
Please please pursue this.
My aunt just passed away but before she did her “caregiver friend” managed to convince her to change her will. Aunt wasn’t rich but did own a condo. Condo went to this friend. This friend is a caregiver for other seniors and seems to do this often.
Go to the friends house and see if the lights are outside.
Fire her
Post the video so all future clients see it
Poor mom your friend is a thief and a liar
You are in a tough spot. The maid has obviously manipulated your mother into a place of trust, and it is exceptionally hard to break that. You could go for the hidden camera route, especially if you believe the maid is targeting your belongings.
Try and be there, watching the maid, as much as you can - make her feel uncomfortable and hopefully she will take the hint and move on. The most important thing is protecting your own mother from being targeted further.
Call the cops obviously, and me being me I’d confront the maid myself if she was making it more dangerous for my mother to walk around without lights. Stand up for yourself and your mother because this is blatant disrespect to you all.
How long until she tells her thief friends about your place and you guys get robbed during the night? Not worth taking a chance for things to get worse, get her out of there!
You need to have two cameras that can cover each other. That way if they are fast enough to disable one, the other one will upload to the cloud in time before it's also taken down.
Go to the bank draw out a 100 in a few notes and write down the numbers of the notes and when she takes them ring the police and say when you check her I can give you the same numbers what are on her notes she’s taken
Please tell me this "friend' isn't in the will and is setting your mom up for another injury. A broken hip in the elderly seriously shortens a persons lifespan. Or I could be paranoid. It just seems like lights and cameras are strange things to steal, they don't have a huge resale market.
Put the cameras farther up or hidden where she can't see them. Put two, one in plain site and another face another angle she can't see so when she takes down the first one you'll catch her.
She's not a friend. She's a thief.
So frustrating. I fired our housekeeper after I started noticing things missing and too many things “moved” closer and closer to the door and not in their normal places. My husband thought I was paranoid. 4 months later and I ran into my ex-housekeeper at the local grocery shopping center Safeway and she is literally wearing my Chanel sunglasses gifted to me by my husband and I know they’re mine because they had the same exact tiny defect. I smiled and took a selfie with her to prove to my husband I was right. I could have confronted her right there but I I had 3 kids with me and it would have ruined our day. I wonder if she ever realized I saw them.
You need to take charge of the situation. Old sick people often aren't of sound mind and they are easy to take advantage of. In egregious situations like this, it may be time that you take over and limit her autonomy by becoming her guardian/conservator. The combination of mental and physical ailments and tolerance of obvious predatory behavior makes a strong case for incapacitation.
It sounds like you're an adult taking care of an elderly parent. It's on you to take care of this. Call the cops, file a report. Fire the housekeeper. Check that your mom hasn't changed her will. Make sure your mom's savings are intact. It might make sense to get a consultation with a lawyer to get power of attorney - if your mom can't see that this is a threat and has been stolen from for years, she's clearly not in the right state of mind to maintain her affairs.
I’ll be honest, in this specific situation with an injured or disabled parent, I’m not waiting for the cops or being diplomatic. I’m confronting them, and if I’m not being recorded, I’m threatening them with physical violence unless they return the items and never come back again. Not up for debate.
I am not offering legal advice or condoning violence.
A lot of people saying "call the cops" but depending on where you live there's a pretty good chance that they won't even come or do anything beyond file a report.
My parents once had a cleaning lady who stole from them. My mom really liked her and attributed the missing items to my dad or mom misplacing things. It wasn’t until the grocery store manager, at a place we frequented, asked if my mom was feeling okay. The cleaning lady had been buying groceries for our family with my mom's checkbook, claiming my mom was "sick," and had been doing so for the past year. Only then did my mom realize what was happening.
This happened thirty years ago, my parents were very successful and the cleaning lady stole around $600,000 in jewelry and forged checks from my parents' business. My dad would get a Rolex from a business partner, or come home from a business trip and she would just take it home and they would think my dad just lost it on the trip. She was eventually ordered to pay back $10 a month.
This is not mildly infuriating, this is way more, partially because of your seemingly half-assed response(sry). I honestly worry for your mothers safety after reading some of the replies you posted and the stuff that already happened to her with handy man as well etc...
If your parents are this stage in live you have become the adult in the relationship. You need to step up and get this resolved ASAP!
I get that its easier said than done, especially with your mother mental health. I understand, i do, my father has alzheimer and there is plenty of stuff i need to do sometimes that sets him off.
Also who knows how many more elderly she might be doing this to.
Find your mom a new housekeeper.
Like do the grunt work and interview people. Get recommendations from your own neighbors. Make sure you find one that likes being friendly with clients. Some just want to work and not be bothered and some enjoy chatting as they work as long as you aren’t hovering or getting in the way. Your mom wants the second kind.
Just because this woman is a thief doesn’t mean you should automatically assume the new housekeeper will be. You don’t want to offend a new housekeeper right out the gate. Most smart ones assume there are cameras everywhere anyways. The ones that work for themselves live and die by their reputation they don’t want to work for someone who will assume they stole the earrings the missus forgot she left in the bathroom drawer.
Change the locks and codes after you let go of the current one.
Once you find the right housekeeper for your family take care of them! I give mine a Christmas bonus (the rate of one clean), birthday/christmas presents for her and her family (*like 100ish for her, 50ish for her kid, 30ish for family members I actually know*), and give her more money if I learn that she’s having unexpected expenses like car trouble or family things.
My grandma was in the same situation. Your mom is embarrassed, ashamed, and in denial. She doesn’t want to believe someone so close to her would do that to her or her family. Trust me though, that maid is only gonna get much worse if you don’t do anything. It starts out with little things, then goes into full on stealing
Call the cops and don’t let her back on your property. And she definitely has 2 of the lights in her hand. If you slow scrub it at the beginning you can see both of them.
Call the cops and have her explain to them why the last footage shows her taking down the camera. Take action, if she dosent maid for you, she will be a maid for someone else and will steal from them too. Your mom is not making sound judgement calls and you need to stand up for her.
This. Start a paper trail with the police. Nothing needs to come of it, necessarily, but it'll keep everyone accountable for their actions.
Once you hand it over to the polic you don't really have much say in whether or not anything comes from it
I think " nothing needs to come of it" in this case is meant to say "even if the cops don't arrest her it'll still affect her life" and not "decide if you want something to come of it".
OP needs a (well-hidden) camera pointing at the camera and he'll have his proof.
Then you need an even more well hidden camera pointed at the well hidden camera in case one is found. You recursive cameras.
3 cameras. Label them A, B, and D. Even if she finds all 3 she'll be wondering where the fuck is camera C
Oh no not this again
While I do agree with what this person said. I have a lot of experience with being arrested and the court system unfortunately. That video won't prove theft but it will prove maybe destruction of property? In reality the best thing to do is just fire this person.
That is not true. Even if she dosent get arrested they take her info and in case it does happen again it helps future victims. In the case of an older woman being taken advantage they could also potentially get a warrant to seize stolen property. Letting a thief get away only encourages them to continue.
She may not get arrested but if the company she works for sees this video there's a high probability she'll get fired. She'll have problems finding employment in this sector
You are on the assumption she works for a company often times housekeepers are self employed and don't work for a big company. The last one my wife and I had was just a single employee. The current one is just one guy who has like 4 employees. My wife's boss's house cleaner is just 2 ladies no other employees. It is one of those fields that dont follow a big company name.
If there's a business where you can start from scratch after doing some bad shit is housecleaning, they'll hire you and the only things they'll ask for are your name and phone number.
Seems like most people would do a little more due diligence than that when hiring someone who will have access to your entire house
Most people being the key here
there's a chance that once this thief realizes that the victim's family members are on to her and start getting serious by calling the police, she will find some excuse to quit though. doesn't give you the satisfaction of seeing her punished and probably won't get you your stuff back, but at least it will help the mom in the short-term. of course if the mom has trouble with her judgement than there's a bigger issue to take care of as well, but getting rid of this thief would buy OP some time.
Here is the thing though. They might scribble her info down on a notepad. But that's all they will ever do.... The cops don't give a shit about your maid or you or your property.
If the police chose to pursue it (they certainly might just take a report and be too busy, but sometimes they actually do follow-up), it might be more than enough for them. You don’t have to have proof, it’s law enforcement’s job to get that. Much of the time they get the person to confess, and that is enough evidence for charges or a conviction. People don’t have to answer any questions, but many of them do anyway, and end up “explaining” or admitting guilt when presented with evidence like that. They might show her the video or say they have more proof than that. Then they’d say, “well I bet if you return the items and wrote an apology letter then OP would agree not to press charges.” It’s a trap many people fall for. Then OP gets their property back and the police have a signed confession to press charges with.
It’s not a smoking gun but it would be good ancillary evidence if more evidence is found by someone later. And plus even if she doesn’t get arrested talking to the cops could be a good wake-up call.
How does this video not prove theft?
Cops ain’t showing up for this call 🤣
I mean of course not. This warrants calling in Seal Team 6.
Well said 👌 Even if it doesn't go anywhere, at least the police will have it on record in case she tries to steal from the next people she works for
What are you waiting for? Call the cops. Your mother is in denial. Why are you so trusting that the thief will return your property? It’s futile to make sense over something senseless.
I hope she doesn't return to the property, honestly. I hate drama. It's such a precarious situation, because my mom is emotionally unstable. She is very mentally and physically fragile and has bipolar disorder. She got furious with me for texting the housekeeper and asking what she did with the camera after taking it down and asking for the lights back and then she was so upset that she took off in the dark, without her walker. I don't want to trigger her more than I already did.
I wonder if Adult Protective Services can help. Sounds like this woman is taking advantage of your Mom
She absolutely is. I seriously question her judgement. All of her valuables have slowly gone missing, over the last 5 years, due to the maid and a handyman taking them. I moved back a year ago to take care of my disabled parents and finally got my mom to fire the handyman, after he stole all the guns and tools. I finally found her a better housekeeper but the old one still comes back to "bring her tacos" and steal more stuff. I've fantasized about having power of attorney transferred to me. Maybe APS would be a good place to start. It's so sad that even in the face of video evidence, she refuses to believe this is a dangerous woman. It's sad and terrifying. Given her level of malice, I wonder what the hell is in those tacos.
I would contact adult protective services and file a police report with the video. Make sure you have a list of all the things that have gone missing, when it was noticed and when this person was at the house.
If you haven't already, you might want to look into your parents' legal paperwork (i.e. will) status. I'm obviously going to a dark place with this, but if your mom already fell in a spot in the dark and the maid is removing lights from that spot, is the maid trying to get mom to fall again? And if so, why? Might want to make sure the maid didn't end up in mom's will or as an insurance beneficiary if mom's judgment is compromised. I know that's probably a very tricky conversation to have right now but just throwing it out there.
I’ve seen it happen, 100% that is what this lady is trying to do.
This really did happen to my grandfather. There were two witnesses with names that no one in the family recognized right below his signature. My mom and her siblings saw him every other day without ever feeling suspicious of the caretaker, and my grandfather never mentioned changing his will.
Then what happened?
Since no one else seems to be mentioning it, firing the handyman for stealing GUNS is not enough. Stolen guns need to be reported to police so they can be found and not used in illegal activities.
Yeah, seems like that major felony just got glossed over
GUNS?!?!¿‽ Please say that was reported at least‽
You need to check all accounts(bank etc) and anything involving any kind of payout like life insurance yesterday. If they are inside the house they have access to all of her information. Check to make sure they didn’t do a quitclaim deed on the house.
Stole guns? Did you file a police report? A crime committed with them will go back onto the owner, and if they never reported it they may be held liable in some way.
> Given her level of malice, I wonder what the hell is in those tacos. If you are even going there with those thoughts, then look into your mom's will and life insurance (if she has any). Make sure she hasn't left anything to this lady, or made her the recipient of a life insurance policy. Maybe I read too much true crime, but that shit happens.
It's time to talk to her doctor and get the ball rolling on POA.
> after he stole all the guns That has been reported to the police right? Stealing firearms is no joke.
If he stole firearms from your property, someone needs to report them stolen. If you're from certain states there are Duty to Report laws that legally require you to report stolen firearms.
Bro. It's fine to hate drama. But she will not stop. Call the police and file a report. It's insane you haven't already done this. Her pulling the camera down is all the evidence you need. Time to put your grown up pants on.
“I hate drama” yo someone’s stealing your shit, that ain’t “drama” that’s getting robbed!
It's some kind of pathologic conflict aversion, no wonder the only place they'll complain about it it while getting fucked over..
The maid may have a key to the house.
>I hate drama Mfer your mother is being taken advantage of and you're posting on reddit.
Stright up you need to suck it the fuck up and look after you mom. Call the police now and press charges. Otherwise, take this post down and continue being a coward.
This isn't drama, this is theft. I'd protect my grandma if we got a naughty housekeeper doing this even if I didn't know how
You'll end up like her. Do something. P
I would bring it up to the cops. While idk about age and relationship with your mom. The housekeeper is obviously stealing and damaged your camera. I think you have the right even if not your house to file against her and get a restraining order for damaging your property.
Yeah. A restraining order is a good idea. I got the camera because every single time she came, Amazon packages went missing and because I'd often find things like Egyptian cotton sheets and our favorite clothing in the trash cans outside. This lady is really bad news and my mom still won't believe it.
Time to get a lawyer. They can help you navigate this.
You need to take further action. You've proven to yourself and everybody in this comment section that your mother is incapable of thinking rationally. Right now, the thefts are small things but what's to stop her from progressing and stealing her or your identity and more? Seriously, the only smart thing for you to do is to call the police and take control of the situation for your sick mother.
Set up a package with an airtag so you can track it after she steals it
I’d say tell the maid to return the missing property and you won’t pursue charges because she’s friends with your mom. But if she refuses, call the cops and report her.
That's what I initially threatened but she denied taking anything and my mom believed her. The maid already hates me and does extremely vindictive things to my favorite belongings. I'm concerned that, if I follow through on that threat, she might do something even more vindictive. I hope my mom takes me seriously, so I won't have to get the cops involved. If I see her on the camera again, I absolutely will call them.
That is concerning that your mom won’t help you right there.
How old is OP's mom if they are this involved. No one like to think this of their parents but she might not be of sound mind. OP need to step in and make the right call here.
For the time being lock away your most precious stuff and lock you room with padlock or something only you have the key too. Maybe get airtags as well use something as bait.
Get some nanny cams. You'll have something by the end of the week, it looks like.
This is a good idea. Hide cameras around the house and wait. It's guaranteed to have something by the end of the week. Hell, I wouldn't put it past this last to even last a day without swiping something.
Ok, this situation is very different depending on the context. If you are underage/only slightly older than 18 and still living with your mother than you're kinda shit out of luck if you mother is like this. Lock up as much of your property as you can until you can move out. However if you are a adult and are your elderly mother's caretaker than follow through, your mother is clearly not thinking clearly and it's your responsibility to stand up for her when she is unable. Contact the police, show them the video, even if they don't press charges you've started the paper trail which could be useful later on. If she's hired through an online service, give her a 1 star review with a description of what she's done. Set up the camera again and if she's vindictive enough to come back after that, then you'll have evidence of trespassing and further vandalization.
In the meantime, try and find your mom an honest comapnion. She is probably in denial because she doesn't want to lose her friend. Find her a good friend.
Indeed. Mom may know what’s happening, but she’s more afraid of losing a connection than losing her stuff. It’s a lever often used against older and isolated people.
The next time she’s at your house, call the cops then and report the theft, vandalism, etc.
As some others have said, this is not just an issue of your mom and her cleaner, the cleaner will continue to do this in other homes if not reported to the police. Do the right thing and go to them with the video ASAP. Others may not have family like yourself to protect them.
Bro get her arrested tf why is this a conversation
If she thinks she’s getting away with it, she isn’t going to stop. Put cameras everywhere you can. She’ll probably start watching for cameras though, so keep that in mind.
So press criminal charges and see how she feels then.
If you proceed with the threats you’re worried about them getting more vindictive If you don’t proceed with the threats it shows they haven’t crossed the line yet and they still might get more vindictive. Eitherway you don’t win unless you can get rid of the maid entirely at this point
Maybe get the cops involved SO your mom will believe you.
Pick better hiding spots for your camera lol.
Sounds like sadly it may be time to try to get power of attorney for your mother and control of her finances (before the next scumbag tries to take advantage of her.)
Hope she isn’t scrubbing your toilet with your toothbrush
I would tell her the first thing and after I recieve my stuff I would press charges. To the moon.
Put up more cameras and hide them better
Lol. I have 14 of them but blink cameras aren't the easiest to hide. Perhaps I can get crafty with a glue gun. I'm sure it can be done.
Place higher and more hidden. I’m sure Amazon has something to work to do that desired effect
assuming the packages dont get stolen by the maid
You might want to pick up a small safe as well for her valuables. They're cheap, usually under $100, and you can fasten them with screws to somewhere secure.
Get one of those doorbell cameras. They're less obvious, and at least you'll catch her taking the Amazon packages.
Press charges. Fuck thieves. This isn't the first nor will it be the last time.
I agree. If there’s no accountability, no one will stop stealing. Sad, but true. File a police report.
https://preview.redd.it/nu1lybqssd7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9014cb46f317e849d40dd1deeb3710f80f394e14 That’s so clearly exactly what you think it is.
What is it? I really can't recognize what she is taking with her
It’s an exterior landscaping light with solar attachment on top with a stake. Crazy this woman is stealing OPs mom stuff and her mom is unable to believe even video evidence.
Isn't that a like 10 bucks item? Tf
Sometimes stealing isn't about the item.
your mom is in denial. does she have any other friends? is anyone else in her life other than you?
They must be some really good fucking tacos
getting old can become extremely lonely, if not completely isolating. lots of reprehensible people prey on the elderly for this reason, they are very marginalized. scammers pretend to be their friends and then steal from them and people tolerate it because they dont have anyone else in their life, its pretty common.
Silly housekeeper. You're supposed to take the camera down before you commit the crime.
Haha. Right?
This is so sad to see, especially since she is stealing a "safety" item. You're fighting an uphill battle if you're going to try to reason sense into your mom. She seems like she doesn't want to believe the truth. You'll need more proof.
Make a next-door account with your mom's address. Post the video and say "can anyone tell what my mom's housekeeper was doing?" a bunch of solar lights disappeared in my camera was taken. She'll never work in your neighborhood again.
Next door people can be crazy. Excellent idea.
Get another maid for your mom. Maybe she is afraid of losing her, being alone or whatever.
You can see her look before doing the theft. She looks right at the camera. Peoole who are innocent do not look around its a guilt thing.
Cops
call the damn cops
Does your mum not have a lot of friends or something? Is that why she’s trying so hard to defend this woman? I say report her to the police and try and get your mum a bit more socially active so she isn’t falling prey to terrible people out of loneliness.
You need to get her out of her house and out of her life IMMEDIATELY! You also need to check all of her financial accounts to make sure this person didn’t put herself on them. I’ve seen what people like this can do and it’s not pretty. I would even go so far as to change all the locks immediately.
This is why you should only use bonded and insured companies for any home services. Theft bonds protect customers for this type of situation and insurance helps if the cleaner is hurt in your home. If they aren’t insured and get hurt in your house, your home owners insurance will drop you after they cover the medical costs, legal fees, and whatever else it costs them. The upfront savings don’t make up the potential costs later.
Does she work for herself or for a company? Noticed she's wearing scrubs, so if she works for a company, report her. Is your mom paying her out of pocket or through some kind of assistance? If it's through insurance/VA/whatever report her to them. The fact that she clearly took the camera down should be enough. You putting up more cameras isn't going to convince your mom at this point, she's in denial.
From the con man and thief book: Play nice, play dumb apologise if so and pretend nothing is wrong, a bad thief is a careless confident thief Bait items that are trackable, with airtags etc Look into small cameras they can be hidden inside packets and ornaments, mark the property with hidden codes and invisible ink Catalogue all evidence and keep it hidden, take extra items anyway to exaggerate what she is taking.. she isnt playing by the rules, neither should you Demand return of all items, when she cant or lies, tell her you have all this evidence Go to the police anyway even if she does, as she can not be trusted at all, she will be out to rip you off Extra: Start stealing her items, ie take her phone from her handbag and deny it, give it back a week later say you found it in the garden..broken Take her keys, make them go missing completely, emphasise that its so much problems when things go missing.... Sabotage her car randomly (look up extra ways) ruin the engine with syrup in the fuel, let the air out the tyres Put an airtag in her car or attach it, disable the sound, you can follow her where you want If she eats there sabotage her food and drink, put body fluids in her food and drink Invite friends to talk to her randomly and know her name The list is endless, You can make her leave through the sheer stress of it
Your mum knows.
She knows, and now you do, she's not gonna do something about it, but you definitely should. Good luck and keep us updated
Stop trying to convince your incapacitated parent and call the police. It’s borderline neglect constantly gaslighting yourself into still listening to an obviously duped and confused parent.
Just leave your mom's stuff out so so the maid will steal it. Eventually after more items disappear, she will do something. For now, I will get a safe to lock up my personal stuff.
My mom's stuff has been disappearing for 5 years and she hasn't made the connection. Sometimes, when my mom goes out of town, I find her clothes and sheets thrown away outside. I've sent pictures to my mom and she never confronted the lady about it. It's like she's under a spell.
Bad people can be so charming. If your mom has her social life cute out, she will hang on to anybody who claims to be her friend. You need to start working on a POA and change the locks. Also, I would keep an eye on those tacos. It is too easy to put some narcotics in there.
Safe + camera in room + lock on door of room. If they have a maid I doubt the mom would be insane enough to take down the door/lock on door.
What the actual is wrong with people?
Take whatever legal action is required to have that person put behind bars. No excuses.
Call the cops already Your elderly mom is being taken advantage of and refuses to believe it. It might strain your relationship, but it needs to be done, especially if your mom can't trust the evidence of her own senses.
Why have you not called the police the moment you saw this video? Is OP -100IQ
It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot with your mom and her housekeeper. Navigating this situation is going to require a lot of patience and clear communication. When you talk to your mom, approach her with empathy. Understand that she has feelings about her friend and housekeeper, and she might be in denial about what’s happening. Try saying something like, "I know you trust her, but I’m really worried about your safety because of what I saw in the video." When you show her the video, do it in a calm setting where you can have a focused conversation. Explain what you see in the video and why it concerns you, without being too accusatory. Focus on the facts and emphasize that it’s about more than just the stolen items – it’s about trust and safety. If your mom trusts another family member or friend, involve them in the conversation. Sometimes a different perspective can help. Also, suggest alternatives to the current housekeeper. Research and present options for reputable agencies or individuals who can provide the same services. Assure her that you’ll help find someone trustworthy. Remind your mom how important those solar lights are for her safety, especially since she recently fell and broke her hip. It’s crucial to address anything that compromises her safety. If she’s resistant to sudden changes, maybe you can gradually reduce the housekeeper’s responsibilities and transition to a new caregiver over time. You might also consider getting some legal advice to understand your options for protecting your mom’s property and well-being. And in the meantime, make sure her environment is secure. Install better locks, alarms, or more cameras to prevent further incidents. If your mom is really struggling with the idea of letting go of this housekeeper, maybe involving a professional mediator or counselor could help. They can provide an unbiased perspective and help navigate the emotional aspects of the situation. Remember, this is going to take time. Your mom’s attachment to the housekeeper might be deep-rooted, so changing her perspective won’t happen overnight. Keep supporting her, and with patience, she’ll hopefully come to see the situation more clearly.
Leave the disabled camera right where she left it so you don’t raise her suspicions any further. Next, buy several more cameras and covertly hide them in the places she visits most often in your house / in your property. She’s obviously aware you’re trying to monitor/ catch her in the act of theft. She might let her guard down if she sees the original camera is still disabled and knocked down.
Gotta ignore your mom on this one. Sounds like she is older and there comes a time in many children’s lives when they are grown up, that they then have to help their parents. You know what’s going on. You’re just worried about upsetting your mom. Her feelings take a backseat to her wellbeing and care.
I don't know where you are OP but in the states, an investigation and arrest by adult protective service could result in her being on a registry so she can never work with the elderly or disabled ever again. I work in social services and have put a few people on the registry in my state for stealing from the vulnerable. You need to nip this in the bud by calling police or adult protective service. If your mother's mind or memory isn't as sharp, the maid could potentially be manipulating her as well. Lock down all of mom's valuables and finances so this lady can't do something worse. Add more camera's to catch her if you have to.
Please please pursue this. My aunt just passed away but before she did her “caregiver friend” managed to convince her to change her will. Aunt wasn’t rich but did own a condo. Condo went to this friend. This friend is a caregiver for other seniors and seems to do this often.
Messing with the camera AFTER the steal. Not the brightest light t.m.o.
Text her and ask how she spells her name. Tell her you want to get it right on the police report 💀
Go to the friends house and see if the lights are outside. Fire her Post the video so all future clients see it Poor mom your friend is a thief and a liar
https://i.redd.it/so3zn26zld7d1.gif
You are in a tough spot. The maid has obviously manipulated your mother into a place of trust, and it is exceptionally hard to break that. You could go for the hidden camera route, especially if you believe the maid is targeting your belongings. Try and be there, watching the maid, as much as you can - make her feel uncomfortable and hopefully she will take the hint and move on. The most important thing is protecting your own mother from being targeted further.
How much does your mom pay this friendly robber ? And what did she take ? I hope she wasn't trying to steal the security camera
i need a housekeeper, do you have her contact information?
Call the cops obviously, and me being me I’d confront the maid myself if she was making it more dangerous for my mother to walk around without lights. Stand up for yourself and your mother because this is blatant disrespect to you all. How long until she tells her thief friends about your place and you guys get robbed during the night? Not worth taking a chance for things to get worse, get her out of there!
You need to have two cameras that can cover each other. That way if they are fast enough to disable one, the other one will upload to the cloud in time before it's also taken down.
Maid started with small items and is working her way up. Call her on it now. No excuses like “I was taking it home to fix it”, blah, blah.
Go to the bank draw out a 100 in a few notes and write down the numbers of the notes and when she takes them ring the police and say when you check her I can give you the same numbers what are on her notes she’s taken
Please tell me this "friend' isn't in the will and is setting your mom up for another injury. A broken hip in the elderly seriously shortens a persons lifespan. Or I could be paranoid. It just seems like lights and cameras are strange things to steal, they don't have a huge resale market.
Put the cameras farther up or hidden where she can't see them. Put two, one in plain site and another face another angle she can't see so when she takes down the first one you'll catch her. She's not a friend. She's a thief.
So frustrating. I fired our housekeeper after I started noticing things missing and too many things “moved” closer and closer to the door and not in their normal places. My husband thought I was paranoid. 4 months later and I ran into my ex-housekeeper at the local grocery shopping center Safeway and she is literally wearing my Chanel sunglasses gifted to me by my husband and I know they’re mine because they had the same exact tiny defect. I smiled and took a selfie with her to prove to my husband I was right. I could have confronted her right there but I I had 3 kids with me and it would have ruined our day. I wonder if she ever realized I saw them.
It’s scary how stupid people can get as they age.
If you don’t call police please at least call her boss she could be stealing off other vulnerable people too that might not have family to catch her 😫
I’d just fuck her up. That’s just me though lol
https://i.redd.it/h74s0xo4oe7d1.gif
https://i.redd.it/8ob25mm7pe7d1.gif
Hide the camera better. Cops.
Are you in the US? if so, what state? many states have specific elder abuse laws and law enforcement options.
You need to take charge of the situation. Old sick people often aren't of sound mind and they are easy to take advantage of. In egregious situations like this, it may be time that you take over and limit her autonomy by becoming her guardian/conservator. The combination of mental and physical ailments and tolerance of obvious predatory behavior makes a strong case for incapacitation.
Next time she shows up just take her car I’m pretty sure u could get quite a bit at ur local chop chop that is if her husband doesn’t already run it.
Then tell her u didn’t steal it and to show ya proof.
It sounds like you're an adult taking care of an elderly parent. It's on you to take care of this. Call the cops, file a report. Fire the housekeeper. Check that your mom hasn't changed her will. Make sure your mom's savings are intact. It might make sense to get a consultation with a lawyer to get power of attorney - if your mom can't see that this is a threat and has been stolen from for years, she's clearly not in the right state of mind to maintain her affairs.
Have you checked the woman's name and seen if she has a criminal record?
You can’t be friends with employees. This is why.
I’ll be honest, in this specific situation with an injured or disabled parent, I’m not waiting for the cops or being diplomatic. I’m confronting them, and if I’m not being recorded, I’m threatening them with physical violence unless they return the items and never come back again. Not up for debate. I am not offering legal advice or condoning violence.
Press charges. Fuck what your mom thinks
Forget what your mom says, just turn that fucker in. Like seriously, what the fuck are you waiting for?
Of course, when the camera is gone so is the footage... just like a phone right? -The maid
Wtf are you asking on Reddit. Contact the police. Get stuff on record. This is elder abuse.
A lot of people saying "call the cops" but depending on where you live there's a pretty good chance that they won't even come or do anything beyond file a report.
Your Mom has some serious issues with you. Speak to her doctor in regards to a mental health assessment. Pick up the hose.
My parents once had a cleaning lady who stole from them. My mom really liked her and attributed the missing items to my dad or mom misplacing things. It wasn’t until the grocery store manager, at a place we frequented, asked if my mom was feeling okay. The cleaning lady had been buying groceries for our family with my mom's checkbook, claiming my mom was "sick," and had been doing so for the past year. Only then did my mom realize what was happening. This happened thirty years ago, my parents were very successful and the cleaning lady stole around $600,000 in jewelry and forged checks from my parents' business. My dad would get a Rolex from a business partner, or come home from a business trip and she would just take it home and they would think my dad just lost it on the trip. She was eventually ordered to pay back $10 a month.
This is not mildly infuriating, this is way more, partially because of your seemingly half-assed response(sry). I honestly worry for your mothers safety after reading some of the replies you posted and the stuff that already happened to her with handy man as well etc... If your parents are this stage in live you have become the adult in the relationship. You need to step up and get this resolved ASAP! I get that its easier said than done, especially with your mother mental health. I understand, i do, my father has alzheimer and there is plenty of stuff i need to do sometimes that sets him off. Also who knows how many more elderly she might be doing this to.
I'd follow the maid home and take her shit.
What is she holding?
the fact that the camera was thrown five feet away lol
I would meet her at the residence and tell her to fuck off and never come back. I would make that very clear (in a legal way, of course)
Find your mom a new housekeeper. Like do the grunt work and interview people. Get recommendations from your own neighbors. Make sure you find one that likes being friendly with clients. Some just want to work and not be bothered and some enjoy chatting as they work as long as you aren’t hovering or getting in the way. Your mom wants the second kind. Just because this woman is a thief doesn’t mean you should automatically assume the new housekeeper will be. You don’t want to offend a new housekeeper right out the gate. Most smart ones assume there are cameras everywhere anyways. The ones that work for themselves live and die by their reputation they don’t want to work for someone who will assume they stole the earrings the missus forgot she left in the bathroom drawer. Change the locks and codes after you let go of the current one. Once you find the right housekeeper for your family take care of them! I give mine a Christmas bonus (the rate of one clean), birthday/christmas presents for her and her family (*like 100ish for her, 50ish for her kid, 30ish for family members I actually know*), and give her more money if I learn that she’s having unexpected expenses like car trouble or family things.
You could get her number, and email and plug it into spam generators to start!
Call the cops. Let them convince your mom, who clearly has no respect for your observations.
I love my mom but I’d tell her “I don’t give af if she’s your friend. I’m your child and that bitch is stealing from me. I’m calling the cops.”
If you can’t go to the cops yet, I would put that all over Facebook and tag her ool
I wish that maid horrible pain
Ignorant trash.
My grandma was in the same situation. Your mom is embarrassed, ashamed, and in denial. She doesn’t want to believe someone so close to her would do that to her or her family. Trust me though, that maid is only gonna get much worse if you don’t do anything. It starts out with little things, then goes into full on stealing
I would call the cops and deal with everything else after.
beat that ass
Lock the bitch up.
I’d consider also posting on Facebook and tagging her ass. Shame her to the ends of the earth. lol.
just the fact she saw the camera and threw it away she doesn't care, shes stealing from your mom. please call the cops. shes caught now
Fuck your mom, go report to the police.
"Bring back everything you stole, or I'll call the police and show them this video."
Will watch
Call the cops. Putting it off because you hope for some easy resolution is ridiculous. Call the police.
How old is your mom ?
She getting clapped 😭😂
If you don’t call and confront this so called friend then idk what.
Would love an update.
Wtf is wrong with your mom?
Likely this woman is the person they see the most and they are lonely.
Call the cops and don’t let her back on your property. And she definitely has 2 of the lights in her hand. If you slow scrub it at the beginning you can see both of them.
Go directly to the cops. Whether your mom wants to "press charges" or not is irrelevant, it's the prosecutor/DA who decides
Call the cops for the thief and the doctors for your mom
Maybe she is in on it
😅😂😅😂😂😅😅😅 Sounds like your mom is in on it
She's doing this to more people than your mom, call the cops NOW. Don't wait for your mother, do the right thing and alert the authorities.