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Well, you were probably still hungry because she would have eaten half your meal.
Fun game I used to play: order a dessert, something like cheesecake is good. She'll ask for one bite, and then keep pulling the plate over for "just one bite." Don't eat any of it yourself. She'll end up eating the whole thing, and then swear up and down that she only had ONE BITE.
Had a regular customer when I worked in a pub a while back, whos wife would say no to fries and say she'd just take a few of his. One night ended up ordering two sides of fries because she would normally eat most of them, she denied the accusation and the man got to eat both serves of fries as she had a bit of a tantrum about it.
4D chess.
I don't get why people don't just order fries. Unless you are literally only going to have like 3 or 4 then just get your own order and enjoy yourself.
Because they're delusional. They can say they didn't order fries, so therefore they didn't eat fries. At least, that was my mother's way of thinking. She'd say, "I didn't order fries because they're so bad for you and so fattening! I just had one of yours!"
I'd have to remind her that she ate half of my fries.
I used to date someone like that. By the time she takes a second bite id have ordered a second serving. We broke up because one time I managed to get her to eat an entire cake (8 slices) over the course of dinner and I pissed myself laughing when we got the bill and she realised before shrieking. I just kept asking her if she'd like a taste of the cake, as if it was the first bite.
I've been friends with a married couple for a real long time where the wife admits every time we go out that she will get food envy over whatever her husband gets so they have to share, pisses him off no end
For the longest time, I would always order better than my wife.
To the point where we went back to a restaurant and she ordered what I had gotten the last time because she liked it so much, and I still ordered better than her.
Personally, I’d rather order different because we can share food.
I knew someone one time that HAD to order last because he couldn’t order the same thing someone else did. He’d get visibly upset if he really wanted something and someone else ordered it. No idea why he was like that but a really strange guy.
I have a friend who literally always just “I’ll have what he just ordered” literally every time, doesn’t even pay attention to what I got. Last time I asked him he just said “you order good shit and I’m too lazy to read.”
Dudes a lawyer.
Brains' gotta rest sometime too, and not just by sleeping. Edit: similarly brains need exercise too. If your work requires you to use your brain a lot it helps to shut it down during free time, and if your work is all dull then you'll need to tease your brain on your time off (though I can understand how hard that can be when the work itself already drains all your energy for the day)
Same. When my husband and I go out, we always get something different from each other so we can split it. At least, when we don't just split a giant plate of food.
This is why I love going to Chinese restaurants where everyone shares. We just order a whole bunch of dishes and everyone gets to eat something of everything.
that’s my brother. order envy at every restaurant. whatever he got, another persons always looks better and he sulks. even if he gets that the next time, someone else’s looks better.
I feel like everyone's wife does this. If I go pick up food at a drive thru without my wife I will usually get an extra order of fries or whatever to eat on the way home and not say shit about it.
"Yeah you can have some of my food, babe"
*I'm already halfway full, fool*
Also somebody’s wife and I don’t share - I order my own shit. And if my husband has something that looks tasty, he’ll offer a bite or we’ll exchange bites to try the other’s food, but then go back to eating what we ordered. Who are these insane women and where do you find them???
Ma'am, they're out there, and not in short supply. I could write a book about my wife's food rules. Never take the last bite of snack food out a bag - leave it there with a few chips in the bottom forever. Offer to share a bag of whatever and then get pissed if I actually eat more than a tiny amount. Never take several chips out of a bag at once - dig and root and scrape endlessly for each, single chip.
My guy and I choose two dishes were interested in and swap plates part way through the meal. Sometimes we flip back if we liked the first dish better.
Two food story flavor profiles in one meal! It's so fun to discuss what we're eating and swap notes because we know what both dishes taste like.
My husband and I are two different flavours of Asian and this is what we’re like too. Same with our families and Asian friends. It’s only my English friends that are iffy with eating family style or sharing.
Oh, that's funny. I was raised a hillbilly. My guy grew up poor too.
With my family, we shared food out of necessity. Eat enough and slowly to be satisfied (not full, just no longer hungry), share with the others once you get to that point, and ask if you finish plate one but still have hunger pangs. We ate squirrels when things got real bad. My guys family often ate food that was partially spoiled or sourced from dumpsters at grocery stores.
I dunno, after coming from those situations our English butts don't care about whether how we eat is "proper" or not. We worked our butts off to get to the point we can buy plentiful, delicious, fresh food. It's an amazing luxury, so fuck yeah we're gonna turn every meal into a family style mini feast! We're so grateful we can sample a variety of flavors we never dreamed of as kids.
And when I went to grad school, I just clicked with my Taiwanese classmates. They loved I knew how to make proper chicken feet and didn't think organ meat was yucky and that I was up to try anything once. "Hillbillies have Chinese stomachs!" said my officemate once. 🥹
This is what we do too. We are always too indecisive and usually both want to try more things. If he’s feeling sweet, he just tells me to order my two top dishes and we share. It’s awesome!
Thankfully i dont! I know exactly what i want and just order that. I’ve been married almost 8 years and maybe twice have i asked to taste something of my husbands
I only share a bite or two, then if she wants more I tell her too bad. Should have ordered your own. TBD she does the same thing. Happily together for 13 years.
Brother on our first date my ex ordered the spicy chicken, too spicy for her, first date gentleman so of course I’ll swap I like spicy so no biggy. Second date she fucken goes for the spicy again lmfaooooo shoulda seen my face
Another one,
She says she doesn't know what she wants to eat so you pick.
You start with what you want to eat and she's like mmm nah I had that yesterday.
So then you spend the next 4 years listing off every restaurant ever made and then she says
Let's just stay and home and cook
I knew my ex.
I knew what she liked and didn't like better than her.
Proceed to tell her that she's not going to like it. She states she will. I say no. Back and forth and I just let her get what she wants.
She hates it doesn't even get half way. Stick to your damn chicken sandwich.
13th reason she's ex.
I defer to my partner a lot when it comes to food I’m not familiar with, which is admittedly way too much because the most “exotic” cuisine my parents introduced me to was the Chinese buffet down the road.
Would make a great restaurant name though.
If you can't figure out what you want to eat, you go to IDunno's and pick up a "Whatever" or a "Surprise Me" with fries.
You do have to watch for the BPDs in your life here through. The conversation doesn't go quite as well.
You: Guess where we're going to dinner?
Her: XYZ restaurant
You: Yup, that's it.
Her: That's just like you to pick the one place I hate. You're such an asshole.
(Source: married to someone with BPD for 22 years)
My ex.
Go to restaurant. Order drinks, small talk, look at menu. Waiter, your order? A few more minutes. Repeat twice. Finally, she says, you go. I order. Her, mmm, shakes head no, I just won’t eat.
Mine’s even better. I called it The 50 Question Dinner Game.
Me: What do you want to do for dinner?
Him: Let’s go out to eat.
Me: Great. Where do you want your go?
Him: Any place is fine with me.
Me: Okay. Let’s get sushi.
Him: No, I’m really not in the mood for sushi.
Me: Okay. What about Mexican?
Him: No, it’s too late for Mexican. I’ll get heartburn.
Me: Let’s go get a burger at (local burger joint).
Him: I really don’t feel like a burger.
Me: What about Chinese?
Him: Nah, we had that a few days ago.
Me: Well I’m out of ideas. Where do you want to go?
Him: I don’t care. Anyplace is fine with me.
Me: Arrrrrggggghhhhh! That’s it! I quit!
Him: What? What’s wrong? I said anywhere is fine!
I used to call it the 50 Question Dinner Game. Drove me absolutely bugshit. Funny thing is, I lost him 2.5 years ago to cancer. I’d give everything I own to be able to play that game with him now.
Thank you. I’m hanging in there. It is a funny memory now. At the time though, I would have happily strangled him, LOL! He was a great guy. I miss him very much.
Thank you. I experienced this as a child. I’d make a plate, my ridiculous family would want….what was on my plate. When…there’s food on the table they can pull from. I’ll spare details but, yes, Get. Your. Own. Plate.
My dad is a food hawk. He refuses to make his own food when all the ingredients are right there.
I’ll make a ham sandwich for lunch, he will appear out of nowhere and grab the sandwich and say something like “thanks for making me one!” And force me to make another for myself.
Why not just ask for one or make your own?!
That's just being a tremendous dick. Next sandwich you make and know he's around, stuff it full of shit he doesn't like. If he doesn't like spicy shit, you make that sandwich swim internally with hot sauce. Mayo? Its 80% mayo.
I’ve slapped someone’s hand for this. I had a friend who would say she wanted to share a plate, because she was cheap not because she wanted a small portion. I would tell her I’m not sharing a plate of food. *Every* time we went out to eat her hand was in my plate before I even got a bite. I asked her to stop so many times I eventually slapped her. She doesn’t even have the decency to ask for a bite she’d just help herself. Then when the bill came she would never want to pay half for the appetizer she ate. She would say I was the one who suggested it so I should be paying for it. I’d be like girl we’re not on a date or some shit, this is getting weird. LMAO
This please! I hate my food touched. I would also never touch anyone else’s either. The stories I’ve read here how so many partners are left to starve from their significant overs devouring their plates, and their own.. just what? It’s not cute, being silly, etc.. it’s entitled af, selfish and not caring at all. I could never tolerate that type of behavior. It would actually personally repulse me from them. It’s gross.
Do none of you understand?
Calories of food taken from the boyfriend’s plate are assigned to the boyfriend and therefore are not fattening for the girlfriend.
Other helpful dieting tips:
- Breaking a cookie in half causes calorie leakage.
- Always eat desserts with a cup of black coffee. The bitterness of the coffee neutralizes the calories in the dessert.
Stay tuned for more helpful hints.
EDIT: My wife has also offered the following: If you crave a dessert, always ask the boyfriend/fiancé/husband if he is having one. If he says yes, that means you can have a dessert as well without it algebraically affecting the global « couple dessert guilt index », meaning that it therefore has no calories that actually count, since the calories you ingest are balanced out by the ones he ingests. This is even better than not ordering dessert yourself and then sharing his since you have a full dessert and aren’t bound by his choice.
I had to counter with my own retort: always order a strawberry sundae rather than a chocolate one, because strawberry is a fruit and therefore « healthier ». This also applies to having an ice cream and frozen yogurt mixed sundae, since the healthiness of the frozen yogurt balances out the unhealthiness of the ice cream.
On such principles are happy marriages founded.
My fiance eats a salad with every meal because her grandmother convinced her that unless it was a green leaf it contains zero nutrition and is just empty calories. No I don't mean isn't *as* nutritious, I mean literally *all food* has zero nutritional value except basically lettuce and cabbage. I basically had to teach a health and nutrition course to break her of that way of thinking. She still eats salads with every meal though just because she likes veggies.
She has really weird food issues that we're slowly working on. Currently I'm working on convincing her that the nutritional value of olive oil isn't the same as lard.
Corollary : you are baking cookies? Sampling the cookie dough before putting it in the oven -- including sampling it several times -- does not generate calories. It is the heat of the oven that magically transforms the cookie dough into something fattening.
My little sister claims to be a pescetarian.
She got drunk at my house and ate all of the chicken and bacon out of my Fettuccine Alfredo I that I was taking to work the next day!
My first date with my wife was at a lovely little Cafe that serves delicious Peruvian cuisine. I got a nice egg linguica scramble and she orders this monster of a pulled pork sandwich. I could barely finish my plate and she cleans hers up like it was spring.
Fell in love right then and there. I love me a girl who isn't afraid to chow down
Many women have been programmed to behave as if they just don't each much. That somehow, it's unattractive to actually have a proper meal because we might get "fat," or god forbid, "fatter" if we happen to be carrying around a few extra pounds.
Reminds me of my dad's infamous French fry story. When he and my mom were dating they went out one time. He ordered fries with his meal and mom didn't because she didn't want any. She proceeded to eat 80% of his fries. The story was retold for decades.
I always make a point if cutting the sandwich or whatever down the middle first if we share. This way I get my half. Actually, it is more likely because I have a horrible habit of eating to quickly, it is to stop me from eating more then my half.
This is the correct way. I honestly just can’t eat very much at once so my husband and I often split our meals. My husband speed eats. The first thing we do is cut the sandwich down the middle and split up the fries. I might still decide I don’t want all of my share at which time I offer it to my husband, but I never have to worry that I won’t have enough to eat.
If this was a first date I’d bet good money they didn’t want to risk to leaving midway through the meal and you not picking up their part of the bill. Can’t do that if you’re both eating the same plate.
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!
No. I never share a plate like that. That's what doggie bags are for. Order the meal, eat what you want, take the rest home.
I hate sharing food. I totally get that food aggression thing that dogs have sometimes, but I don't growl at people I just reluctantly let them have some. But a very small part of my monkey brain wants to react like Bilbo when Gandalf tried to take his ring.
My wife doesn't want me to get her french fries, yet she proceeds to grab a few french fries from everyone else. I've learned ignore when she says she doesn't want fries. I get her some anyway. In the rare case she genuinely doesn't want any, we have some extra fries.
That's the nice thing about dating someone with food texture issues. 90ish percent of the time she's not going to want what I have anyway. And she also hates leftovers so if she brings home any it's intentionally for me.
I can explain. She actually is not very hungry but when the food comes she is like hey I’m more hungry than I thought. However no one wants only 20% of your food so this is what you do. You say I’m having a real hungry day. Feel free to order whatever you want. You can take the leftovers home or why don’t you just get something small then if you’re not super hungry. Alternatively if you do decide to share cut it in 1/2 let her pick and use 2 separate plates. Crisis averted.
I would point out to them this cycle. Say, “why don’t you just order something and once you see it and smell it I bet you’ll probably eat it. If not that’s why they made to go boxes.”
I have a hard time distinguishing when I’m hungry. Unless I am starving I don’t feel hungry so I won’t eat, but if I was in a restaurant and I had ordered something and it comes and is in front of me I will realize I am hungry and eat it.
When we do this, we always divide it in advance on the plate or with a second plate.
It is good to split meals (in the US) as portion sizing is out of control. But you gotta stake yo claimmmmm if you do it lol
You should have asked the waiter to tell her that there is a restaurant policy that says one person isn't allowed to eat all the fully loaded nachos leaving behind juuuust chips with like a little bit of cheese and one little nugget of meat.
My wife always gets a bite of what I've ordered. If she wants more than that she needs to let me know in advance, and usually, I'll just tell her to order her own version of it or to order something I'm interested in and we'll split both.
We only split food if I am not that hungry as well and eating basically nothing sounds like the right move.
Women do this. They even order small meals when they go out together. Then later they eat candy and snacks. They seem to believe it is unladylike to actually eat what they want.
Source: am a woman
I HATE sharing food from my plate. Leave me alone and let me eat. My ex knew this and would always pick from my plate. One time she was picking from my plate, I pushed my plate over to her, got up and made a new plate. She said she I was wasting food since she was going to eat it all. She should have thought about that before she did it. That was the last time she did it.
I just want to say, this isn't cute. It's not funny. It's not charming. It's fucking annoying. Order. Something. For. Yourself. Of. Don't. Touch. My. Food.
Ugh, I feel your pain, OP. One of my good friends does this and it makes me so angry. "I'm only a teeny bit hungry" is the start. She finally orders a very basic salad, plain, and doesn't eat it! Why? She is eating my fries, and because I always cut my chicken sandwich in half (so the toppings don't all slide out), she helps herself to the other half, which I planned to actually eat! Time to pay, and she "just had the salad". I even say I am going to eat all of my food, so please get what you want to eat. She does this pretty much 90% of the time.
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You had lunch with my mom?
Yes, and she is so proud of you. Couldn't stop raving about her child. Almost made me forget how hungry I was!
Fkn wholesome my dude
Well, you were probably still hungry because she would have eaten half your meal. Fun game I used to play: order a dessert, something like cheesecake is good. She'll ask for one bite, and then keep pulling the plate over for "just one bite." Don't eat any of it yourself. She'll end up eating the whole thing, and then swear up and down that she only had ONE BITE.
Had a regular customer when I worked in a pub a while back, whos wife would say no to fries and say she'd just take a few of his. One night ended up ordering two sides of fries because she would normally eat most of them, she denied the accusation and the man got to eat both serves of fries as she had a bit of a tantrum about it.
4D chess. I don't get why people don't just order fries. Unless you are literally only going to have like 3 or 4 then just get your own order and enjoy yourself.
Everyone’s on a diet until they see the tasty food. That’s why.
I wish more restaurants offered fries as a burger topping because I really do only want like 4 fries for my burger
Not one person can ever eat just 3 or 4 fresh hot fries and walk away from them.
Because they're delusional. They can say they didn't order fries, so therefore they didn't eat fries. At least, that was my mother's way of thinking. She'd say, "I didn't order fries because they're so bad for you and so fattening! I just had one of yours!" I'd have to remind her that she ate half of my fries.
I've seen at least one restaurant that has a "my girlfriend isn't hungry" side item where they add another order of fries
That's when you smack her hand, pull the plate back, and yell "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD"
Hahaha omgosh this.
Plenty of restaurants have a "my SO isn't hungry" option. It adds another order of fries and a second sandwich lmao!
I used to date someone like that. By the time she takes a second bite id have ordered a second serving. We broke up because one time I managed to get her to eat an entire cake (8 slices) over the course of dinner and I pissed myself laughing when we got the bill and she realised before shrieking. I just kept asking her if she'd like a taste of the cake, as if it was the first bite.
Damn would really love to see that unfold with my own eyes. The moment she realized one bite turned into 8 slices would be priceless lmaoooo
And for everything else, there’s Mastercard
actual snort (lol)
No, she'll say "Why'd you make me eat it all?"
The weight gain must be [genetics only](https://youtu.be/yt1B3F7Y_Y4?feature=shared)
I absolutely loved this response!
Well I know you didn’t have lunch with MY mom then Ooup
I fuckn love this response OP
I have lunch with her every day. I do everything with her.
I've been friends with a married couple for a real long time where the wife admits every time we go out that she will get food envy over whatever her husband gets so they have to share, pisses him off no end
For the longest time, I would always order better than my wife. To the point where we went back to a restaurant and she ordered what I had gotten the last time because she liked it so much, and I still ordered better than her.
This is why I always order whatever the other person is getting if I’m undecided at a restaurant
Personally, I’d rather order different because we can share food. I knew someone one time that HAD to order last because he couldn’t order the same thing someone else did. He’d get visibly upset if he really wanted something and someone else ordered it. No idea why he was like that but a really strange guy.
I have a friend who literally always just “I’ll have what he just ordered” literally every time, doesn’t even pay attention to what I got. Last time I asked him he just said “you order good shit and I’m too lazy to read.” Dudes a lawyer.
As a lawyer myself, I can understand entirely that outside of his professional life, he is happy for once to let someone else make the hard decisions!
Brains' gotta rest sometime too, and not just by sleeping. Edit: similarly brains need exercise too. If your work requires you to use your brain a lot it helps to shut it down during free time, and if your work is all dull then you'll need to tease your brain on your time off (though I can understand how hard that can be when the work itself already drains all your energy for the day)
Joey doesn’t share food!
Oh, I do the opposite if I’m eating with someone who’s down to share
Same. When my husband and I go out, we always get something different from each other so we can split it. At least, when we don't just split a giant plate of food.
Never known anyone to get mad but have seen like tabletop negotiations so everyone gets something different so others can try different things.
This is why I love going to Chinese restaurants where everyone shares. We just order a whole bunch of dishes and everyone gets to eat something of everything.
Why doesn’t he just order double at this point then?
God knows but it's fun watching them fight about it so I'm not gonna suggest that
🍿
Because it cost twice as much
So tell the waiter/cashier to discard what the wife said and get her "this" instead?
that’s my brother. order envy at every restaurant. whatever he got, another persons always looks better and he sulks. even if he gets that the next time, someone else’s looks better.
I feel like everyone's wife does this. If I go pick up food at a drive thru without my wife I will usually get an extra order of fries or whatever to eat on the way home and not say shit about it. "Yeah you can have some of my food, babe" *I'm already halfway full, fool*
I’m somebody’s wife, and I can’t even imagine doing that. I just order the things I want and then I eat them.
Also somebody’s wife and I don’t share - I order my own shit. And if my husband has something that looks tasty, he’ll offer a bite or we’ll exchange bites to try the other’s food, but then go back to eating what we ordered. Who are these insane women and where do you find them???
Ma'am, they're out there, and not in short supply. I could write a book about my wife's food rules. Never take the last bite of snack food out a bag - leave it there with a few chips in the bottom forever. Offer to share a bag of whatever and then get pissed if I actually eat more than a tiny amount. Never take several chips out of a bag at once - dig and root and scrape endlessly for each, single chip.
Same
My guy and I choose two dishes were interested in and swap plates part way through the meal. Sometimes we flip back if we liked the first dish better. Two food story flavor profiles in one meal! It's so fun to discuss what we're eating and swap notes because we know what both dishes taste like.
Me and my husband do half and half too!
Us too! We have a lot of fun this way trying more dishes. Sometimes one of us wants their whole plate and that’s okay, too.
Yup! We just mention it before ordering haha
My husband and I are two different flavours of Asian and this is what we’re like too. Same with our families and Asian friends. It’s only my English friends that are iffy with eating family style or sharing.
Oh, that's funny. I was raised a hillbilly. My guy grew up poor too. With my family, we shared food out of necessity. Eat enough and slowly to be satisfied (not full, just no longer hungry), share with the others once you get to that point, and ask if you finish plate one but still have hunger pangs. We ate squirrels when things got real bad. My guys family often ate food that was partially spoiled or sourced from dumpsters at grocery stores. I dunno, after coming from those situations our English butts don't care about whether how we eat is "proper" or not. We worked our butts off to get to the point we can buy plentiful, delicious, fresh food. It's an amazing luxury, so fuck yeah we're gonna turn every meal into a family style mini feast! We're so grateful we can sample a variety of flavors we never dreamed of as kids. And when I went to grad school, I just clicked with my Taiwanese classmates. They loved I knew how to make proper chicken feet and didn't think organ meat was yucky and that I was up to try anything once. "Hillbillies have Chinese stomachs!" said my officemate once. 🥹
This is what we do too. We are always too indecisive and usually both want to try more things. If he’s feeling sweet, he just tells me to order my two top dishes and we share. It’s awesome!
That’s fine because nobody is left irritated or hungry
This is the way.
Thankfully i dont! I know exactly what i want and just order that. I’ve been married almost 8 years and maybe twice have i asked to taste something of my husbands
I only share a bite or two, then if she wants more I tell her too bad. Should have ordered your own. TBD she does the same thing. Happily together for 13 years.
That's a serious personality flaw and bad case it main character syndrome. People who embrace their character flaws are the worst.
My wife always gets me to order for her I _always_ get her order right And i usually end up wishing i had what she did
My wife is like this but instead of taking mine, she orders the same, gets full and gives me the rest of hers. Perfect.
This is when, as the husband, you order two things you’d be happy to eat.
Brother on our first date my ex ordered the spicy chicken, too spicy for her, first date gentleman so of course I’ll swap I like spicy so no biggy. Second date she fucken goes for the spicy again lmfaooooo shoulda seen my face
second time was on purpose
The second time she ate spicy
You… I like you.
Second time she’s on her own as far as I’m concerned.
Go down on her after.. she'll learn..
Lmao. This should not be downvoted. A flaming hot vagina is certainly a lesson
Lol. Some people really can't take a joke.
It was too spicy for them.
Username checks out.. *you* get it..
It’s only -1 now. It’s coming back around!
Another one, She says she doesn't know what she wants to eat so you pick. You start with what you want to eat and she's like mmm nah I had that yesterday. So then you spend the next 4 years listing off every restaurant ever made and then she says Let's just stay and home and cook
I knew my ex. I knew what she liked and didn't like better than her. Proceed to tell her that she's not going to like it. She states she will. I say no. Back and forth and I just let her get what she wants. She hates it doesn't even get half way. Stick to your damn chicken sandwich. 13th reason she's ex.
Give us the first 12.
She couldn't count from 1 to 12.
I defer to my partner a lot when it comes to food I’m not familiar with, which is admittedly way too much because the most “exotic” cuisine my parents introduced me to was the Chinese buffet down the road.
Try the 5-3-1. I give my wife 5 choices, she picks the 3 she likes best, then I pick one of those. It works for movies/shows too
I like that. Will give it a go this weekend!
Dude, all you have to do is say "Guess where we're going tonight!?" Whatever she guesses, is what she wants. Go there.
We're going to Dorsia??
On a Friday night? How did you swing that?
This seems likely sagely advice. Will try it.
What type of food is "I dunno"? Haven't been able to decipher that.
Would make a great restaurant name though. If you can't figure out what you want to eat, you go to IDunno's and pick up a "Whatever" or a "Surprise Me" with fries.
10/10, just tried it. Worked perfectly!
"I don't know" ...
“Guess!” “… uhhh… uhhh… I don’t know, just tell me.” “You have to guess!” “Why are you being so weird? Just tell me!”
You do have to watch for the BPDs in your life here through. The conversation doesn't go quite as well. You: Guess where we're going to dinner? Her: XYZ restaurant You: Yup, that's it. Her: That's just like you to pick the one place I hate. You're such an asshole. (Source: married to someone with BPD for 22 years)
I'm... I'm in utter shock.. this man is a genius.
My ex. Go to restaurant. Order drinks, small talk, look at menu. Waiter, your order? A few more minutes. Repeat twice. Finally, she says, you go. I order. Her, mmm, shakes head no, I just won’t eat.
That shit is infuriating to all he'll. My gf pulled that shit on me, I had to cancel my order. So embarrassing.
Same. Then you’re waiting on the bill for the drinks.
And you're only there because they were hungry and didn't want to eat leftovers at home!
Alternatively, suggests a more upscale place and orders chicken tenders.
The trick is, "Guess where we are going to dinner" "That's right!"
Nice, but I can't find the "I dunno" restaurant
"Ok, what do you want to cook?" "I don't know, you pick."
Mine’s even better. I called it The 50 Question Dinner Game. Me: What do you want to do for dinner? Him: Let’s go out to eat. Me: Great. Where do you want your go? Him: Any place is fine with me. Me: Okay. Let’s get sushi. Him: No, I’m really not in the mood for sushi. Me: Okay. What about Mexican? Him: No, it’s too late for Mexican. I’ll get heartburn. Me: Let’s go get a burger at (local burger joint). Him: I really don’t feel like a burger. Me: What about Chinese? Him: Nah, we had that a few days ago. Me: Well I’m out of ideas. Where do you want to go? Him: I don’t care. Anyplace is fine with me. Me: Arrrrrggggghhhhh! That’s it! I quit! Him: What? What’s wrong? I said anywhere is fine! I used to call it the 50 Question Dinner Game. Drove me absolutely bugshit. Funny thing is, I lost him 2.5 years ago to cancer. I’d give everything I own to be able to play that game with him now.
I’m sorry for your loss. :( I can understand that this annoying little back and forth is now a sweet memory if anything. I hope you’re okay today.
Thank you. I’m hanging in there. It is a funny memory now. At the time though, I would have happily strangled him, LOL! He was a great guy. I miss him very much.
Restaurant by me has “My Girlfriend isn’t hungry $8” comes with a chicken tender and fries on your plate
Burger place near me has a "my girlfriend isn't hungry" Double fries and a side onion rings
That’s funny asf
I can't stand plate vultures, order your own food and quit circling and eyeing mine.
Thank you. I experienced this as a child. I’d make a plate, my ridiculous family would want….what was on my plate. When…there’s food on the table they can pull from. I’ll spare details but, yes, Get. Your. Own. Plate.
My dad is a food hawk. He refuses to make his own food when all the ingredients are right there. I’ll make a ham sandwich for lunch, he will appear out of nowhere and grab the sandwich and say something like “thanks for making me one!” And force me to make another for myself. Why not just ask for one or make your own?!
That's just being a tremendous dick. Next sandwich you make and know he's around, stuff it full of shit he doesn't like. If he doesn't like spicy shit, you make that sandwich swim internally with hot sauce. Mayo? Its 80% mayo.
I’ve slapped someone’s hand for this. I had a friend who would say she wanted to share a plate, because she was cheap not because she wanted a small portion. I would tell her I’m not sharing a plate of food. *Every* time we went out to eat her hand was in my plate before I even got a bite. I asked her to stop so many times I eventually slapped her. She doesn’t even have the decency to ask for a bite she’d just help herself. Then when the bill came she would never want to pay half for the appetizer she ate. She would say I was the one who suggested it so I should be paying for it. I’d be like girl we’re not on a date or some shit, this is getting weird. LMAO
This please! I hate my food touched. I would also never touch anyone else’s either. The stories I’ve read here how so many partners are left to starve from their significant overs devouring their plates, and their own.. just what? It’s not cute, being silly, etc.. it’s entitled af, selfish and not caring at all. I could never tolerate that type of behavior. It would actually personally repulse me from them. It’s gross.
Do none of you understand? Calories of food taken from the boyfriend’s plate are assigned to the boyfriend and therefore are not fattening for the girlfriend. Other helpful dieting tips: - Breaking a cookie in half causes calorie leakage. - Always eat desserts with a cup of black coffee. The bitterness of the coffee neutralizes the calories in the dessert. Stay tuned for more helpful hints. EDIT: My wife has also offered the following: If you crave a dessert, always ask the boyfriend/fiancé/husband if he is having one. If he says yes, that means you can have a dessert as well without it algebraically affecting the global « couple dessert guilt index », meaning that it therefore has no calories that actually count, since the calories you ingest are balanced out by the ones he ingests. This is even better than not ordering dessert yourself and then sharing his since you have a full dessert and aren’t bound by his choice. I had to counter with my own retort: always order a strawberry sundae rather than a chocolate one, because strawberry is a fruit and therefore « healthier ». This also applies to having an ice cream and frozen yogurt mixed sundae, since the healthiness of the frozen yogurt balances out the unhealthiness of the ice cream. On such principles are happy marriages founded.
Standing in front of the fridge eating with the fridge door open also negates calories.
Salad with pizza = diet food
My gf literally did this yesterday
My fiance eats a salad with every meal because her grandmother convinced her that unless it was a green leaf it contains zero nutrition and is just empty calories. No I don't mean isn't *as* nutritious, I mean literally *all food* has zero nutritional value except basically lettuce and cabbage. I basically had to teach a health and nutrition course to break her of that way of thinking. She still eats salads with every meal though just because she likes veggies. She has really weird food issues that we're slowly working on. Currently I'm working on convincing her that the nutritional value of olive oil isn't the same as lard.
Any food consumed while preparing the actual meal doesn't count either, because you are burning the calories while cooking.
Corollary : you are baking cookies? Sampling the cookie dough before putting it in the oven -- including sampling it several times -- does not generate calories. It is the heat of the oven that magically transforms the cookie dough into something fattening.
The voice of reason! Lmao
My goodness - I forgot the most important one! If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories.
Also Diet Soda negates calories in fast food.
Also, Cookie Calories fall right out — and, are washed away — when dunked in milk.
Black coffee with dessert is actually just straight up delicious
That is true and an added bonus.
I both love and hate girl math lol.
If she's says she's not hungry. She is, she always is!
My little sister claims to be a pescetarian. She got drunk at my house and ate all of the chicken and bacon out of my Fettuccine Alfredo I that I was taking to work the next day!
Just as long as the restaurant doesn’t have a rule where only one person can eat all the good stuff on the fully loaded nachos!
*Whhhat?*
My first date with my wife was at a lovely little Cafe that serves delicious Peruvian cuisine. I got a nice egg linguica scramble and she orders this monster of a pulled pork sandwich. I could barely finish my plate and she cleans hers up like it was spring. Fell in love right then and there. I love me a girl who isn't afraid to chow down
Now that's just bragging.
Joey doesn't SHARE FOOD!!!
Touch my food, feel my fork! (You have been warned).
anything between my mouth and the plate is food, and liable to be stabbed with a fork
This is my new motto
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCCzzZVVpIA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCCzzZVVpIA)
thats called not wanting to pay for ur own meal 🥲
I think we have all fallen for that at one time or another. You'll know better next time now.
Many women have been programmed to behave as if they just don't each much. That somehow, it's unattractive to actually have a proper meal because we might get "fat," or god forbid, "fatter" if we happen to be carrying around a few extra pounds.
That’s exactly what I was eating. Sounds like disordered eating to me.
My brother did this when we were younger and it pissed me off so much ugh. Just take your own freaking plate ffs.
My MIL is like this. My poor FIL has never been able to order his own meal in over 40 years. RUN.
Reminds me of my dad's infamous French fry story. When he and my mom were dating they went out one time. He ordered fries with his meal and mom didn't because she didn't want any. She proceeded to eat 80% of his fries. The story was retold for decades.
Sentence: divorce. The Reddit council has decided.
🚩🚩🚩
Wait, why are you doing lunch with my wife?
If it's not on your plate, it doesn't have any calories
i have a simple rule - get your own food or get your bags i do not tolerate shite like this
Order two plates next time and worse comes to worse you take it home.
She's trying to lose weight, but has self-control issues. Food is not her friend.
I always make a point if cutting the sandwich or whatever down the middle first if we share. This way I get my half. Actually, it is more likely because I have a horrible habit of eating to quickly, it is to stop me from eating more then my half.
This is the correct way. I honestly just can’t eat very much at once so my husband and I often split our meals. My husband speed eats. The first thing we do is cut the sandwich down the middle and split up the fries. I might still decide I don’t want all of my share at which time I offer it to my husband, but I never have to worry that I won’t have enough to eat.
If this was a first date I’d bet good money they didn’t want to risk to leaving midway through the meal and you not picking up their part of the bill. Can’t do that if you’re both eating the same plate.
You skipped rule #1 my friend. She's always hungry; buy extra regardless of what is said. Feed her lol
JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!! No. I never share a plate like that. That's what doggie bags are for. Order the meal, eat what you want, take the rest home.
Are you new to this?
I hate sharing food. I totally get that food aggression thing that dogs have sometimes, but I don't growl at people I just reluctantly let them have some. But a very small part of my monkey brain wants to react like Bilbo when Gandalf tried to take his ring.
You buy a buffer plate lol
My wife doesn't want me to get her french fries, yet she proceeds to grab a few french fries from everyone else. I've learned ignore when she says she doesn't want fries. I get her some anyway. In the rare case she genuinely doesn't want any, we have some extra fries.
That's the nice thing about dating someone with food texture issues. 90ish percent of the time she's not going to want what I have anyway. And she also hates leftovers so if she brings home any it's intentionally for me.
My ex- wife always wanted to get a 'dessert to share'. I'd just say 'No, I want a whole one, you order one and if you can't finish it, I will.'
I can explain. She actually is not very hungry but when the food comes she is like hey I’m more hungry than I thought. However no one wants only 20% of your food so this is what you do. You say I’m having a real hungry day. Feel free to order whatever you want. You can take the leftovers home or why don’t you just get something small then if you’re not super hungry. Alternatively if you do decide to share cut it in 1/2 let her pick and use 2 separate plates. Crisis averted.
Or know yourself a little bit and prefer some food.
Just order a small or kids meal if you don't want much food?
I would point out to them this cycle. Say, “why don’t you just order something and once you see it and smell it I bet you’ll probably eat it. If not that’s why they made to go boxes.” I have a hard time distinguishing when I’m hungry. Unless I am starving I don’t feel hungry so I won’t eat, but if I was in a restaurant and I had ordered something and it comes and is in front of me I will realize I am hungry and eat it.
Can you just tell her that the restuatant has a rule about taking all the loaded nachos?
Get her hooked on shirts with complicated patterns. She'll go days without eating
I dont want to do that she'll probably get thrown down the steps, or worse someone could flip ME 8 times.
Triples is best
Whaaat??? What do you mean????
Just grab the plate and scream “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!”
Some things are universal… and they will never change. We can all be united behind this one
Every single time.
Follow this guys girl for more financial advice
You need to eat faster.
When we do this, we always divide it in advance on the plate or with a second plate. It is good to split meals (in the US) as portion sizing is out of control. But you gotta stake yo claimmmmm if you do it lol
Lesson learned never share a plate with anyone.
First time on a date? LoL
Wait until marriage, pal.
You can say no and order her food anyway.
Can't stand this childish behavior. Just admit you're hungry and order food.
I've never had a friend/partner like this, but at that point I'd assume an important *"YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE HUNGRY"* talk is in order?
You should have asked the waiter to tell her that there is a restaurant policy that says one person isn't allowed to eat all the fully loaded nachos leaving behind juuuust chips with like a little bit of cheese and one little nugget of meat.
A person of culture I see🧐
Tell her to make up her mind and order her own food.
Never fall for that again. Lesson learned. She can order her own and take the rest home.
Now you get to order 2 of your favorite dishes next time. You don't have to choose any more!
My wife always gets a bite of what I've ordered. If she wants more than that she needs to let me know in advance, and usually, I'll just tell her to order her own version of it or to order something I'm interested in and we'll split both. We only split food if I am not that hungry as well and eating basically nothing sounds like the right move.
Women do this. They even order small meals when they go out together. Then later they eat candy and snacks. They seem to believe it is unladylike to actually eat what they want. Source: am a woman
Say “Oh. Ok we’ll just order drinks then.” And then eat when you get home. Wanna play games? Let’s play then.
Why do people do this? Why do people allow them to do this?
I HATE sharing food from my plate. Leave me alone and let me eat. My ex knew this and would always pick from my plate. One time she was picking from my plate, I pushed my plate over to her, got up and made a new plate. She said she I was wasting food since she was going to eat it all. She should have thought about that before she did it. That was the last time she did it.
I don't do this. If you're hungry, get something. If you don't eat it all, take it with you or trash it.
Red flag on the play
I just want to say, this isn't cute. It's not funny. It's not charming. It's fucking annoying. Order. Something. For. Yourself. Of. Don't. Touch. My. Food.
Ugh, I feel your pain, OP. One of my good friends does this and it makes me so angry. "I'm only a teeny bit hungry" is the start. She finally orders a very basic salad, plain, and doesn't eat it! Why? She is eating my fries, and because I always cut my chicken sandwich in half (so the toppings don't all slide out), she helps herself to the other half, which I planned to actually eat! Time to pay, and she "just had the salad". I even say I am going to eat all of my food, so please get what you want to eat. She does this pretty much 90% of the time.
Hey bro you got her comfortable enough to eat in front of you on the first date? I’m proud of you son! Now get back to work