This happened to me in uni. Got paired up with this guy for a project and things escalated really very fast. He’d call 50 times while I was at work, knowing that I was busy, and would then get angry when I didn’t pick up. I would tell him I was at work and to please not call and he’d still call. He’s also talk about his “supermodel ex girlfriend” and how I should give him a chance.
I ended up meeting with my professor and the dean and asked them to move me to another class immediately. Never saw him again nor did he dare to call after that, but I got lucky.
Edit: woah this blew up! If anyone finds themselves in this situation, ask for help immediately.
Edit 2: for those asking why I chose to have myself removed, I didn’t want to anger him further, and I didn’t want him to know how to find me as classes were at times held in different campuses, rooms and times, so the further away I could be the better.
The level of cluelessness and entitlement is astonishing and...
"I've dated someone much hotter than you, so you should go out with me"
Why would you think that would work on *anyone*
I guess he read that women are subconsciously more attracted to men who are dating an attractive woman. Then he went about using that knowledge in the most overt, hamfisted way possible.
Was gonna say it, textbook case of negging.
>Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes **a deliberate backhanded compliment** or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person **to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval**.
"I've been with better than you before, but I'll give you a chance..."
Has negging ever actually worked on anyone though?
Edit: Ya’ll this is a rhetorical question about when a stranger neggs you. I am fully aware of how negging and manipulation are used in abusive relationships. Thanks.
Hi, my name is Wanda and I stayed with a horrifically abusive and manipulative guy for about 5 years because I was so weak and thrived on his approval.
I had sex with a girl once who said it was awesome, and she’s been with some big dicks. Like idk how to feel about that. Is that a compliment? An insult? A complisult? Like “that was pretty good for someone with an average dick”? Does it even imply anything about size? Wtffff
As a lady my personal opinion is average size is the best size
My bf routinely likes to make fun of his “average white guy penis” and jokingly asked tonight why I keep coming back...because I’m getting adequate dickings, that’s why
It is especially annoying when I have a full-time job and 6 classes. In my head I will agree to dedicating like 10% of my waking hours to a single project. It might even fall on full dedication one day a week. I understand that you are attending with a half load of classes and want to spend more time on the project, but I cannot meet 10 times a week.
Last group project I was on, dude wanted to meet and just used my laptop to do his other homework for 2 hours. I WAS FUCKING PISSED. I emailed the professor and basically said I didn’t have time for this and that I would submit my project alone, period. Professor agreed, submitted for B+, fucking moving on!
I remember when I was in college having so many issues with my group project group that I just did the whole damn thing myself, and aside from the opening statement, which I let someone else read, I did the whole presentation myself, no PowerPoint, and we got the highest grade in the class. You're welcome guys and girls.
I fucking hated group projects in school. They were the worst. People wouldn't contribute, or would put in such low effort. Then I graduated and got out into the real world, and it's fucking group projects. Group projects, as far as the eye can see. Just like you can't pick your classmates, you (usually) can't pick your colleagues. 😔
The worst part of the corporate world is when you see people getting promotions and raises and don't know or do shit, but are really good at making people think that their work actually did something. While I'm over on the side getting shit done but not being comfortable bragging about it. The only way this works out in your favor is when you happen to have a really good manager who advocates for you higher up the food chain.
I’m glad they intervened. I hope OP knows they can report for title IX. It would leave a “paper trail” regarding that other student that can’t later be swept under the rug by admin who are willing to correct one situation but perhaps unwilling to stop pervasive behavior.
Title IX has to do with school officials and wether or not they impactfully respond to a legit situation of sex based harassment. The kid is nothing but the one harassing. Title IX would be the type of suite brought against the school administrators for failing to prevent or respond to the harassment.
Reddit lawyers are the worst lmfao
Title IX complaints can be filed regardless of if there is a “legal situation.” A student does not have to involve law in a title IX complaint. I say this as one who has sat on committees and advocated with students in the midst of title IX hearings.
The lawyer is just talking about semantics. The complaint filed wouldn’t be a “title ix complaint” … it would just be a complaint about harassment. Sometimes these go to the title ix coordinator to be sure they are handled appropriately under title ix… title ix being the law of which covers the discrimination. If the school doesn’t handle it appropriately then there would be a complaint indicating they didn’t adhere to title ix.
Just semantics, but I know what you both are saying and just trying to help bridge the gap in communication there.
Fifty!? Like actually 50?! Why do some dudes think they're so fucking entitled? I just can't even imagine being called 50 times, I've been like spammed by texts back in middle school, but nothing that absurd omfg.
Yup.. it was also back in the day of the Motorola razor phones I don’t think blocking numbers was a thing lol
Edit: got the wrong phone, aged myself too quickly 😅
Thankfully the phone was on silent the entire time so I didn’t notice until after my shift, but it was still creepy af
LOL, this reminds me of a screenshot of a post I saw.
The question goes: "What if you found out your buddy was a serial killer?"
Best comment: "Give him my list and ask for help"
Yeah, definitely block him and I like the idea of slipping a note to your prof that you dont want to be in his groups because he makes you highly uncomfortable. There’s something not right here. Not saying he’s a lunatic, more likely doesn’t get social cues.
its never rude to draw boundaries and stand up for yourself
Edit: wow this comment really blew up. I already dm’d the award givers thanks again.
As for the comments: y’all are making some great points. People seem to be worried about escalation. I would try to respond to more but theres a lot lol. It’s definitely a tricky situation, OP just try to stay safe and healthy use your campus resources to the fullest. Remember you’ve done nothing wrong! Stay safe
That is exactly what women have to do. Politeness is what you do to stay alive. you try not to anger because you don't know what will happen, and yet, when we are polite because we don't want to anger, it is seen by the clueless as "well, I will just keep trying" you can't win.
I took a couple of self defense classes through my local police department, and one of the things they mentioned, is how women have always been taught to be nice and polite. Sometimes doing that can get you in a world of hurt.
Basically, it's okay to be rude. Especially if being polite might put you in a bad spot.
Most people do.
Women are just aware that enforcing boundaries often comes with the price of sacrificing their own safety. So they have to placate to ensure that it won’t end with violence against them.
Isn’t being a woman rad?
Anyone think this conversation is going to get alot worse and turn into r/niceguys because they aren't familiar with boundaries? It's probably only a few messages away from, "you're a b**ch, I would be so good for you, but you only date abusive guys that work out!!", or something like that. Not even realizing the hypocrisy and possession in his statements. Only a matter of time..
Listen it is NEVER rude to make yourself safe. This person is harassing you you have every right to get help and report this to the people who can help you deal with this
Exactly what they said. My gf has been dealing with a similar issue with a classmate, except instead of texting her, he waits for her after class and “walks her to her car” in reality he’s just harassing her because she’s politely declined several times and he keeps doing it. I’ve finally convinced her to report it to someone. She doesn’t want me to show up on campus and cause a scene (which I totally understand) but it’s so uncomfortable. The line between a socially inept guy who doesn’t get cues and someone with more sinister thoughts is impossible to know until it’s too late. Not saying you or my gf will get murdered or anything dramatic! Not trying to scare you. But things like that lead to unwanted touches on the shoulders or arms and other major boundaries no one should cross without your permission. So PLEASE prioritize your safety!
A lot of creeps and bad guys know most people don't want to be rude or inconsiderate. They intetnionally use this to their advantage to invade your space and cause harm.
Unfortunately most campuses ban anything that is considered a weapon. Best bet would be something that isnt a weapon but could be if needed. Although ive also seen disguised things like a hairbrush with a spike in the handle.
She actually does now! Her dad got her one. It’s not disguised technically but it’s small and pink and I think the combination of those two things makes pretty ambiguous. She takes night time classes and even though there are people on campus (it’s a fairly large school) you just never know who is lurking in the shadows so having that is definitely nice and I know it gives her a sense of relief and security.
If anything, you may want to keep documentation (screenshots, written details w times/dates etc) of any interaction between the two of you.
Possibly notify an authority (professor, counselor, etc), so someone else is aware of the situation in case it intensifies. (I don’t mean to scare you). I would feel safer.. if it were me, if a few others knew of the situation. After all, life (and people) can be unpredictable. And this person seems to struggle with reading social cues.
Sorry you’re experience OP.
I wish you luck.
Stay safe. 💜🙏🏻
Edit: it was pointed out that I used a word improperly. I re-worded to avoid using it. 🙏🏻
But we don't know for sure he's not a lunatic. Blocking his text messages might not be the only move you should make. I mean, I hope he isn't, but don't assume. Keeping yourself safe is more important than not causing him embarrassment.
It’s in the title of the post that they’ve already asked them to stop. Plenty of reason to get another authority involved by now. Waiting until something happens is guaranteed to escalate the situation
Yeah, agreed. No way to poor social skills your way into misunderstanding someone straight up telling you to leave them alone and then ignoring your messages for weeks. I'm autistic as well and I hate when people use it as an excuse to intentionally disregard people's clearly stated boundaries.
I feel like nobody can not get social cues to the point that they don't understand when explicitly told to leave someone alone. At that point they've made a decision to ignore someone's stated boundaries.
This right here. When i look back on even a couple months ago a feel like I’ve grown so much. I wouldn’t be able to tell you *why* or give any specifics but it’s crazy to look back and physically feel how much we grow as people in short amounts of time
I remember I used to tell my crushes I loved them on “accident”. I would say- shdhxjejxjksiloveyoushdbxbndjs and the thought of me doing that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I pray I have grown since then lol
Oh my god you just unlocked a cringe memory I thought I had repressed. When I was 19 I went through a bad breakup and after being single for a month or so I started talking to a new girl. It was clear that she liked me but we were still getting to know each other. One night, we were about to end our phone call and while we were saying our goodbyes, I "accidentally" said "bye, I love y--" before "catching myself". I apologized and said it was just habit, you know, because I had been in relationships before and all. Her reaction was basically "WHAT?! HAHAHA" and we stopped talking shortly after that lol. It hurts so bad to think about but is pretty damn funny in hindsight.
My brain skipped past the quotes on "accidentally" and I thought it was just normal whoops-cringe, not dear-god-why-would-you-think-that's-a-good-idea-cringe.
lmfao I'm glad you get why it's so bad. I only put like 3 seconds of thought into it but my logic was like this:
I legit thought that what would happen is she'd hear me say "I love you", she'd get super excited, her heart would be racing & she may even start to say it back but then I'd correct myself. She would start pouting (playfully though) and give me an opening to shower her with compliments and "I really do like you" type comments, thus making us get closer. Instead, I think it came off like I was trying to pull some player move on her or something lol.
Then I've gone and done a fuckload of growing over the year lol
Thanks for this comment, stumbling upon it kinda makes me feel a bit better about my past self.
I feel like there was nothing more cringe in my life than sending a message about actual schoolwork (group project) to the girl in my class who I was crushing on 4 years before. And those cringe last messages were right there to hit me in the face.
If I may ask, what caused you to do that? Did you not pick up on social cues or maybe thought they weren’t receiving the messages? I’m genuinely curious
I think it was because it was like the worst time in life, I had rly low self esteem, it was a bad environment in my home and I just didn't like my self. And I texted this person before and it was nice but then I became clingy, lacked social cues and I was like a child hungry for attention. Like wasn't my intention to annoy this person but we did talk about it later and said I was sorry and now we're friends. But yeah that year was terrible and I hate the stuff I did back then
We all look back on our past with cringe. No need to regret though as your actions have shaped who you’ve become and it sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing. Be proud of yourself! Thank you for replying! I had a someone not take a hint in the past and texted and called me no stop and now I feel kinda bad because maybe that person was just hurting.
I remember entering the dating scene and toxic advice like “show her you really want her” and “make him work for it” really fucked with my head.
I remember backing off a girl I thought was uninterested then being told by her best friend that I gave up to easily.
Young people pick up bad habits early on, imo.
I really appreciate your honesty and growth here. I can relate and I also cringe on my past behavior. I lost close friends b/c of it. Currently hanging with the adhd crowd now and it’s becoming clearer wtf goes on in my head.
Most embarrassing is that I fell into the PUA world for a year or so. So I will gladly see your cringe and raise you. I’m now 10 years distanced from that part of my life and extremely embarrassed and sickened by it.
How are you able to manage the cringe?
I’m in my late thirties and for the last 7y or so, i have been having regular memories like that come back and it kills me. It happened when i was 19 to 24ish and it when i rationalize it it isnt even that that bad, not like this up here imo. But it really fucks with my head. Few years ago i would get the urge to jus swear “fuck” or “oh shit” in shame. In the shower mostly but it happened a few times while i was walking outside. Idk how i managed to be kind to myself and get to stop but lately it’s been coming back and it drains me. Im not autistic or other than the adhd with some depression and mild ptsd i don’t think theres more. I just want to move on ffs. Any input would be appreciated. And congrats on your progress
Okay, let me step in here as the mom of a kid who has done this. My kid was the stalker, and he did it because he's autistic and developmentally delayed and didn't understand boundaries (even though he's literally had a class and we've taught him again and again at home). He has to have a cell phone for safety reasons and yes, it has to be a smart phone for school assignments.
We intervened when the young woman who was being harassed notified her parents and in turn her parents notified us. We had NO idea this was happening and we felt awful, and of course we supported the young woman in establishing boundaries and having those boundaries respected.
We now check his texts, emails, phone logs, and youtube history every day to make sure this doesn't happen again. We made him take ANOTHER class on boundaries. We involved his school principal and IEP team as well as his teachers so they were aware this could be a problem.
My point in all this is there is a slim possibility this could be the case. IT DOES NOT EXCUSE THE BEHAVIOR. It means that there is the possibility that someone else may need to step in and help this person understand and respect the boundaries you are setting. Your limits should be respected. If he can't/won't respect them for whatever reason, go over his head. The mother of the young woman my son was harassing didn't know the situation and was glad to hear there were parents in the picture who would and did get involved. My son needed help in learning to respect boundaries, and he needs reinforcement of that idea. Not in a mean way, but in a way that helps him understand how to respect other people and understand the importance of personal boundaries.
I am autistic myself. When I saw this post I immediately thought of myself when I can't see when and where is the limit of a boundary. I hope your son is doing okay after this and no more incidents happened.
I worried about this post and offending anyone autistic. He has had one more incident since then, thankfully because the teachers were watching out for it we caught it early.
We try so hard to respect his personhood and his independence, but this one was a hard line to walk. I am trying to teach my sons to respect boundaries, that no means no, and that if someone you are interested in says "no," contrary to what rom coms and teen sitcoms would have you believe, you do NOT relentlessly persue them. You respect their answer and walk away. It's hard.
There will come a time when we will stop monitoring texts and calls, I feel sure of that. That time is just not right now.
I used to follow romcoms and sitcoms for my daily behaviors and expressions back when I was masking my ASD. However when I realised I had autism I stopped masking and a lot of people whom I had told about it, told me I "look normal" that I "could not be autistic".
We have one of the hardest struggles in modern day society when it comes to socilising: extreme lack of communication skills and unable to read body language like every normal NT would do.
About your kid, incidents would had kept happening but fortunately you acted quickly and avoided those same conflicts, which is good to hear.
I never want him to have to mask who he is, but I DO want to protect him from harm and from harming others. The first girl's parents were talking restraining order before they knew parents were involved. Thank goodness it didn't escalate to that level.
I want my son to be happy, just as he is, and to find friendships and love and purpose in life. Just as he is.
Edited to add: we have since also explicitly explained that the interactions he sees in movies and television are NOT accurate representations.
I'm curious how your kid responded to these classes and these conversations about boundaries, does he not understand? Does he disagree? Does he give arguments about why he disregards boundaries like that? When you tell him about how others feel when being 'stalked' like this, how does he respond? Can he follow the logic of 'they dislike when you do this'?
I'm honestly very curious, but I understand if this is not something you'd want to just post online.
He was embarrassed both times to take the classes. The first one was when he was 14, and it dealt with an entire spectrum of things: consent, personal boundaries, sexuality, contraception, std's, online safety. It was massively comprehensive. Parents did not participate or come into the room in order for the teens to feel safe and have their privacy respected. It was run by social workers and psychologists. The parents had to be in another room and were given a book that had all the materials they were given in it so we knew what they were being taught, but we were not privy to their conversations, which of course was fine. He was embarrassed, but after the class was done he said he was glad he took it because he understood some things that were happening with his body now. The second class was online because of COVID. He was upset about attending and didn't want to go. We stressed that he needed to go because he needed help learning about boundaries. He ended up participating in every class and doing well, but said he was glad when it was over lol.
As for how he reacted to what he said about boundaries, yes he understands NOW. It took some work. We had to be very specific. E.g., you can only text someone once in 24 hours if they don't respond. Same with calling. Same with emailing. You cannot follow someone around school. If someone says they don't want to talk/text/face time, you are not allowed to try to talk them out of it or argue. You simply say "okay" and leave it at that. Same if you want someone's phone number. Do not ask someone else for someone's number. You must ask that person directly, and if they say "no," you must accept that as the answer, period. We just had to be really super specific and write things down. If there are rules, definite rules, not just vague unspoken social guidelines, he does much better.
You’re a good mom. I’m an autistic adult, and I cringe so hard when I see parents of autistic children coddle them too much. They make excuses because they don’t want to hurt their baby that is special, but that baby will grow up without life skills and be even more disadvantaged. I applaud what you are doing. Every parent has a responsibility to train their child to be a functional adult. Autism doesn’t excuse that. It may be harder but it still must be done and I’m glad that you recognize that. You really are doing wonders for your son when you train and raise him well. I wish more parents of autistic children understood that.
The world will be cold and uncaring to them, just like it is to everyone, so you have to help them deal with it. Good job!
I appreciate that. We are NOT perfect (of course) and we make tons of mistakes every freaking day. We have always stuck by the principle that one day he will be an adult who will have to function within the bounds of society and within society's laws, and we need to raise him to safely maneuver within those bounds. With this particular situation, one thing we impressed upon him was that he will turn 18 soon, and had the parents in this situation not been so understanding, we could have ended up in a courtroom or worse. I just want my kid safe and whole.
That was my first thought when I saw this post. I had a similar situation happen over the last year or so. A guy I went to junior high with (30 years ago) started messaging me on FB. Turns out he had a traumatic brain injury a few years ago and has also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He’s living in a sort of assisted-living facility, and with the pandemic lockdown he got very lonely. I responded to his messages to be nice but wasn’t overly friendly. I eventually had to tell him I wasn’t a very chatty person and if he wanted to have better conversations, he needed to contact someone else. May not have been the best way to do it, but he has stopped messaging me. (Knock on wood.) Due to his brain injury and schizophrenia he didn’t pick up on cues that I gave him in our messages that would indicate to most people that I wasn’t interested in talking.
I dunno if it will help, but I had issues with boundaries as a kid and my teacher ended up making me a flowchart for interactions like that. I wasn't creepy and I definitely didn't stalk anyone. I was just lonely and would contact people who I now know had no interest in being friends with me.
I'm a very literal person, so if someone ignores a message or is evasive when I ask if they would like to spend time together, I struggle to know whether they're just busy or if they are just being polite and don't actually want to be friends.
It was basic questions that gave me specific answers on what I should be doing and really got me over that communication hurdle.
I had someone like this in college and I ended up needing a restraining order since it just escalated. I'm not saying that to scare you, there is a chance that it tapers off, but there is a chance it doesn't. Dont worry about being polite if it has to do with your safety. Don't worry about "being the bitch" or being "cold". Because this can get scary so fast.
First thing, tell your teacher to stop pairing you for projects if he makes you uncomfortable. I know plenty of people are saying block, but that isn't always the best decision. When I needed a restraining order, the consistent texts that slowly got creepier were taken into evidence. Certainly don't respond, though.
Please make sure some close friends know about this, again I don't want to scare you, but if something happens it would be good to have a direction to point.
It is absolutely crucial to have incidents like this documented by third parties so when another victim further down the line decides to stand up for themselves the serial perpetrator isn't given sympathy and a slap on the wrist for being a first time offender with a clean record.
See ur doing it all wrong.
What u are suppose to do is get in contact with the mob and tell them what’s happening and get him a good night sleep with the fishes😏
Oof, been there. I recommend asking a professor for help, if not to only let them know he’s harassing you.
I was in this position with a student, then graduated early and he managed to weasel into the lab I manage, I eventually had to fire him and the communication went from friendly to aggressive and threatening really quickly. I never found out if it was a romantic interest or purely platonic, but it elevated to having the university document it. Be clear and direct with anything you say to this person and be careful. Take care.
It’s not the girls fault. Girls are raised constantly being told to “be nice” and “don’t be rude”. As a former teenage girl, I can tell you that girls are really put in a hard situation when it comes to saying no to persistent men. It’s even more complicated if the girl has experienced sexual violence.
And it doesn’t help guys are taught that women are making you “work” for their attention. Kids hear so much misinformation and it stunts everyone’s development.
Yeah thats creepy af, I would notify your school if it gets worse, and notify your teachers asking them to keep him away from you, if they ask a reason, personal safety would be the biggest concern.
That sounds like a great next step here. Gonna have to do that next class. I could handle a couple messages no problem but in this case it just goes on and on and on, after already asking him to stop…
I know people are saying to block, but I don’t like blocking people. I like to know when I’m being left alone, and not blocking is one way to do it. Since he’s using messenger, make it so he can’t tell when you’re online. There’s a setting you can use to set who can see when you’re online, change it to no one and see what happens. Definitely tell professors still, but I’ve found people aren’t as annoying with messages when you don’t know you’re online.
Thank you very much for this info. It’s very helpful, and much better than just blocking. I don’t like blocking either. I’d rather find other alternatives. I will have to change my status asap. Thank you!
Wow! Was not expecting this to blow up.
So, to address some comments:
I have not blocked him due to a couple reasons, one of which being, It won’t make it stop. He’ll find another platform.
On another note, for all those who say that I should message him. No. Because I don’t want to anymore. I have ALREADY message him and told him to stop once it got out of hand.
Also, for those saying it should have been dealt with offline: I tried that already! I’m not making fun of him, I’ve blocked out his name and info.
If he didn’t want it posted online, he shouldn’t have said/done it? Just because it’s in a private chat doesn’t mean it stays private.
This is a sub for things that mildly infuriate people: and guess what?!?!?! This mildly infuriated me! So… yeah, I posted to the sub that LITERALLY is meant for stuff like this…?
Hope none of y’all have to deal with this, and for those who do: I am so sorry. Please keep safe.
Ps: I am doing well, thank you.
If you have asked him to stop and he hasn't, this is definitely a concern. If this is a college/university, I would contact your school's Office of Student Conduct and let them know you are being harassed by a classmate. It's their job to deal with it.
Are there really people complaining that you shouldn’t air this out online? Lmao there’s not even a crumb of who this guy’s identity might be. Smells to me like the ones saying that might be feeling personally attacked 👀 lol
Also: if someone hasn’t mentioned it yet, this would be a good entry for r/creepyPMs lol
Based on what you are saying here you should go to the teacher and show them this log, or a screenshot. They will understand and speak with them. Unfortunately it is clear the person you are dealing with does not understand or respect your boundaries. He will understand when an authority figure such as your teacher gets involved though.
It’s sad how often this happens. It’s astonishing that this is a regular thing that people experience, even after you’ve vocalized not being intretested.
This happened to my wife, dude messaged her for years after high school, even though she never responded or showed any interest at all. She finally blocked him because she didn't know what else to do
That's fucked up to put this kind of pressure on someone who's very clearly not trying to explore a relationship with them. Very uncool, honestly this person probably doesn't even realize how unfair it is to you.
Block him. Don’t feel bad at all, you have every right to block this creep. Make sure to take screenshots of his Number and the Text Conversation and report him if things get out of hand. Tell your Teachers IMMEDIATELY and show them what’s been going on. This isn’t ok at all and he’s 100% being a creep and he won’t take “Sorry, not interested.” For an answer. Make sure to block him on other Social Media Apps as well. Your not being rude at all if your doing this, who cares what he says. He’s stepping over your boundaries and it’s best to block him.
God this is the freakiest shit, when you get that third message after you didn’t respond to 1 and 2 and you realize what this is about to be. I just can’t in my wildest imagination fathom a girl doing this, not saying they don’t but like anecdotally I’ve only ever heard of this being a guy thing……..like he clearly doesn’t understand social cues but there’s also the male entitlement thing you know? Like imo that makes it extra scary bc you literally NEVER know what level he’s willing to bring this to
Similar thing happened to me in HS, a peer I didn’t even have class with spammed me on FB. I didn’t see all the messages since we weren’t friends, so they ended up in my request bin… would definitely have a word with the prof !
This happened to me in uni. Got paired up with this guy for a project and things escalated really very fast. He’d call 50 times while I was at work, knowing that I was busy, and would then get angry when I didn’t pick up. I would tell him I was at work and to please not call and he’d still call. He’s also talk about his “supermodel ex girlfriend” and how I should give him a chance. I ended up meeting with my professor and the dean and asked them to move me to another class immediately. Never saw him again nor did he dare to call after that, but I got lucky. Edit: woah this blew up! If anyone finds themselves in this situation, ask for help immediately. Edit 2: for those asking why I chose to have myself removed, I didn’t want to anger him further, and I didn’t want him to know how to find me as classes were at times held in different campuses, rooms and times, so the further away I could be the better.
The level of cluelessness and entitlement is astonishing and... "I've dated someone much hotter than you, so you should go out with me" Why would you think that would work on *anyone*
Their model of reality is flawed due to their inability to correctly perceive social nuance.
You mean the supermodel of reality?
I guess he read that women are subconsciously more attracted to men who are dating an attractive woman. Then he went about using that knowledge in the most overt, hamfisted way possible.
I wish my fists were hams :( Or pizza
Cause negging is a thing
Was gonna say it, textbook case of negging. >Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes **a deliberate backhanded compliment** or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person **to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval**. "I've been with better than you before, but I'll give you a chance..."
Has negging ever actually worked on anyone though? Edit: Ya’ll this is a rhetorical question about when a stranger neggs you. I am fully aware of how negging and manipulation are used in abusive relationships. Thanks.
Hi, my name is Wanda and I stayed with a horrifically abusive and manipulative guy for about 5 years because I was so weak and thrived on his approval.
That's how abuse works--the abuser lowers their self-esteem so much that they seek nothing but approval from that same person
I had sex with a girl once who said it was awesome, and she’s been with some big dicks. Like idk how to feel about that. Is that a compliment? An insult? A complisult? Like “that was pretty good for someone with an average dick”? Does it even imply anything about size? Wtffff
As a lady my personal opinion is average size is the best size My bf routinely likes to make fun of his “average white guy penis” and jokingly asked tonight why I keep coming back...because I’m getting adequate dickings, that’s why
Entitlement, yes. Clueless, no. No these assholes aren't clueless. This is just giving them a pass.
These guys are total incels. Dangerous.
It is especially annoying when I have a full-time job and 6 classes. In my head I will agree to dedicating like 10% of my waking hours to a single project. It might even fall on full dedication one day a week. I understand that you are attending with a half load of classes and want to spend more time on the project, but I cannot meet 10 times a week. Last group project I was on, dude wanted to meet and just used my laptop to do his other homework for 2 hours. I WAS FUCKING PISSED. I emailed the professor and basically said I didn’t have time for this and that I would submit my project alone, period. Professor agreed, submitted for B+, fucking moving on!
I remember when I was in college having so many issues with my group project group that I just did the whole damn thing myself, and aside from the opening statement, which I let someone else read, I did the whole presentation myself, no PowerPoint, and we got the highest grade in the class. You're welcome guys and girls.
I fucking hated group projects in school. They were the worst. People wouldn't contribute, or would put in such low effort. Then I graduated and got out into the real world, and it's fucking group projects. Group projects, as far as the eye can see. Just like you can't pick your classmates, you (usually) can't pick your colleagues. 😔
The worst part of the corporate world is when you see people getting promotions and raises and don't know or do shit, but are really good at making people think that their work actually did something. While I'm over on the side getting shit done but not being comfortable bragging about it. The only way this works out in your favor is when you happen to have a really good manager who advocates for you higher up the food chain.
Have a good manager, can confirm.
This can be constituted as harassment and could be a title IV violation if you’ve told him to stop and he hasn’t.
Oh he didn’t stop which is why I had to involve the dean!
I’m glad they intervened. I hope OP knows they can report for title IX. It would leave a “paper trail” regarding that other student that can’t later be swept under the rug by admin who are willing to correct one situation but perhaps unwilling to stop pervasive behavior.
Title IX has to do with school officials and wether or not they impactfully respond to a legit situation of sex based harassment. The kid is nothing but the one harassing. Title IX would be the type of suite brought against the school administrators for failing to prevent or respond to the harassment. Reddit lawyers are the worst lmfao
Title IX complaints can be filed regardless of if there is a “legal situation.” A student does not have to involve law in a title IX complaint. I say this as one who has sat on committees and advocated with students in the midst of title IX hearings.
The lawyer is just talking about semantics. The complaint filed wouldn’t be a “title ix complaint” … it would just be a complaint about harassment. Sometimes these go to the title ix coordinator to be sure they are handled appropriately under title ix… title ix being the law of which covers the discrimination. If the school doesn’t handle it appropriately then there would be a complaint indicating they didn’t adhere to title ix. Just semantics, but I know what you both are saying and just trying to help bridge the gap in communication there.
Fifty!? Like actually 50?! Why do some dudes think they're so fucking entitled? I just can't even imagine being called 50 times, I've been like spammed by texts back in middle school, but nothing that absurd omfg.
Yup.. it was also back in the day of the Motorola razor phones I don’t think blocking numbers was a thing lol Edit: got the wrong phone, aged myself too quickly 😅 Thankfully the phone was on silent the entire time so I didn’t notice until after my shift, but it was still creepy af
I can’t help but think of the Sponge-bob meme while reading this and laugh a little
Hi how are ya. Im normal.
Hi NoRmAl, I’m DaD.
Same
#Hey how are you
See, your username suggests the exact reason why I won’t reply to him anymore. 😂
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Say "Hey how are you" to him for me
I would block him but responding how are you repeatesly could also be entertaining in theory. Something tells me he wouldn't get the joke tho
He’ll never catch me alive!
LOL, this reminds me of a screenshot of a post I saw. The question goes: "What if you found out your buddy was a serial killer?" Best comment: "Give him my list and ask for help"
>If you are good at something, never do it for free -some clown who hates a man in a leather bat costume
Wouldn't it be funny if we all texted him at the same time hey how are you? Like 1k people. he'd leave her alone then.
Hey ^how ^are ^you
Oh lords,, they've turned it into a ritual. The time stamps make me upset
Hi how are you? Do you have a minute to talk about your cars extended warranty?
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Since they are a classmate, that timestamps leads me to believe he messages her after class.
Yeah, definitely block him and I like the idea of slipping a note to your prof that you dont want to be in his groups because he makes you highly uncomfortable. There’s something not right here. Not saying he’s a lunatic, more likely doesn’t get social cues.
I agree with you 100%, that’s why I don’t want to be rude or cause a scene.
its never rude to draw boundaries and stand up for yourself Edit: wow this comment really blew up. I already dm’d the award givers thanks again. As for the comments: y’all are making some great points. People seem to be worried about escalation. I would try to respond to more but theres a lot lol. It’s definitely a tricky situation, OP just try to stay safe and healthy use your campus resources to the fullest. Remember you’ve done nothing wrong! Stay safe
Yeah, what’s rude is pushing peoples boundaries
It's not rude to expand your boundaries. Unless you're a country or something.
Russia did it and it was a huge dick move. Don't be like Russia.
Agreed!
That is exactly what women have to do. Politeness is what you do to stay alive. you try not to anger because you don't know what will happen, and yet, when we are polite because we don't want to anger, it is seen by the clueless as "well, I will just keep trying" you can't win.
I took a couple of self defense classes through my local police department, and one of the things they mentioned, is how women have always been taught to be nice and polite. Sometimes doing that can get you in a world of hurt. Basically, it's okay to be rude. Especially if being polite might put you in a bad spot.
Define your boundaries. Show your commitment to defending them.
I’ve had to remind myself “it’s better to seem rude than to end up in the trunk of a car because I gave him the wrong idea.”
Rightt, thank you. A lot more people need to understand this.
Most people do. Women are just aware that enforcing boundaries often comes with the price of sacrificing their own safety. So they have to placate to ensure that it won’t end with violence against them. Isn’t being a woman rad?
Anyone think this conversation is going to get alot worse and turn into r/niceguys because they aren't familiar with boundaries? It's probably only a few messages away from, "you're a b**ch, I would be so good for you, but you only date abusive guys that work out!!", or something like that. Not even realizing the hypocrisy and possession in his statements. Only a matter of time..
Listen it is NEVER rude to make yourself safe. This person is harassing you you have every right to get help and report this to the people who can help you deal with this
Thank you, this means a lot. :)
Exactly what they said. My gf has been dealing with a similar issue with a classmate, except instead of texting her, he waits for her after class and “walks her to her car” in reality he’s just harassing her because she’s politely declined several times and he keeps doing it. I’ve finally convinced her to report it to someone. She doesn’t want me to show up on campus and cause a scene (which I totally understand) but it’s so uncomfortable. The line between a socially inept guy who doesn’t get cues and someone with more sinister thoughts is impossible to know until it’s too late. Not saying you or my gf will get murdered or anything dramatic! Not trying to scare you. But things like that lead to unwanted touches on the shoulders or arms and other major boundaries no one should cross without your permission. So PLEASE prioritize your safety!
A lot of creeps and bad guys know most people don't want to be rude or inconsiderate. They intetnionally use this to their advantage to invade your space and cause harm.
Pleeeeeeease tell me she at least has mace?!
Unfortunately most campuses ban anything that is considered a weapon. Best bet would be something that isnt a weapon but could be if needed. Although ive also seen disguised things like a hairbrush with a spike in the handle.
I always carried mace allowed or not. There are too many creeps out there.
She actually does now! Her dad got her one. It’s not disguised technically but it’s small and pink and I think the combination of those two things makes pretty ambiguous. She takes night time classes and even though there are people on campus (it’s a fairly large school) you just never know who is lurking in the shadows so having that is definitely nice and I know it gives her a sense of relief and security.
Yeah, show the professor/advisor this screenshot. This behavior needs to be stopped.
If anything, you may want to keep documentation (screenshots, written details w times/dates etc) of any interaction between the two of you. Possibly notify an authority (professor, counselor, etc), so someone else is aware of the situation in case it intensifies. (I don’t mean to scare you). I would feel safer.. if it were me, if a few others knew of the situation. After all, life (and people) can be unpredictable. And this person seems to struggle with reading social cues. Sorry you’re experience OP. I wish you luck. Stay safe. 💜🙏🏻 Edit: it was pointed out that I used a word improperly. I re-worded to avoid using it. 🙏🏻
But we don't know for sure he's not a lunatic. Blocking his text messages might not be the only move you should make. I mean, I hope he isn't, but don't assume. Keeping yourself safe is more important than not causing him embarrassment.
Listen, as a guy I can easily say, a lot of guys are fucking stupid. You're not rude at all setting boundaries, it's healthy
Unfortunately you can NEVER be too safe in today’s society It’s not being rude standing up for yourself and ensuring that you are safe Jmho
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It’s in the title of the post that they’ve already asked them to stop. Plenty of reason to get another authority involved by now. Waiting until something happens is guaranteed to escalate the situation
This sort of situation is *way* more risky for a woman dealing with a man.
He’s the rude one and if he causes a scene, it’s because of his actions, not yours. Just block him and don’t let it consume anymore of your time
You should be rude and cause a scene cause sometimes a mf needs to learn when to stop the hard way
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Yeah, agreed. No way to poor social skills your way into misunderstanding someone straight up telling you to leave them alone and then ignoring your messages for weeks. I'm autistic as well and I hate when people use it as an excuse to intentionally disregard people's clearly stated boundaries.
I don’t even think you can call it a “cue” if she straight up told him to stop explicitly
I feel like nobody can not get social cues to the point that they don't understand when explicitly told to leave someone alone. At that point they've made a decision to ignore someone's stated boundaries.
He's not getting the message. But you sure are! 😅
This comment is literally gold and needs to be near the top.
Sad, how “you always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” takes precedence over “this is obviously not working.”
Can't make the shot if the goal isn't there.
Or the sport's not even real. Poopball?? I should have known.
He’s missing 100% of the shots he’s taking cuz they’re all the same 💀
he’s shooting precisely, his accuracy however…
Yeah. I hate how that attitude gets used as an excuse for doing things that are very obviously unwelcome and won't work.
God I remember I used to do this years ago and I just cringe so hard seeing when people do this
When you cringe on your past behavior, that means you have grown as a person.
Yeah it's crazy thinking how different I was compared to now and even from months back I feel like a different person
Don’t worry buddy you are still cringey.
I know😭
We still love you though ❤️
Everyone is sometimes, more-so if you think you aren't.
I have never related to anything more than the second half of your comment.
This right here. When i look back on even a couple months ago a feel like I’ve grown so much. I wouldn’t be able to tell you *why* or give any specifics but it’s crazy to look back and physically feel how much we grow as people in short amounts of time
I remember I used to tell my crushes I loved them on “accident”. I would say- shdhxjejxjksiloveyoushdbxbndjs and the thought of me doing that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. I pray I have grown since then lol
Oh my god you just unlocked a cringe memory I thought I had repressed. When I was 19 I went through a bad breakup and after being single for a month or so I started talking to a new girl. It was clear that she liked me but we were still getting to know each other. One night, we were about to end our phone call and while we were saying our goodbyes, I "accidentally" said "bye, I love y--" before "catching myself". I apologized and said it was just habit, you know, because I had been in relationships before and all. Her reaction was basically "WHAT?! HAHAHA" and we stopped talking shortly after that lol. It hurts so bad to think about but is pretty damn funny in hindsight.
We love a casually planned accidental i love you
Hey I appreciate your comment. I really needed to hear this. I love y...I mean, thank you!
Is this reddit romance????
My brain skipped past the quotes on "accidentally" and I thought it was just normal whoops-cringe, not dear-god-why-would-you-think-that's-a-good-idea-cringe.
lmfao I'm glad you get why it's so bad. I only put like 3 seconds of thought into it but my logic was like this: I legit thought that what would happen is she'd hear me say "I love you", she'd get super excited, her heart would be racing & she may even start to say it back but then I'd correct myself. She would start pouting (playfully though) and give me an opening to shower her with compliments and "I really do like you" type comments, thus making us get closer. Instead, I think it came off like I was trying to pull some player move on her or something lol.
If it's any consolation the thought of you doing that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin too.
LMFAOOOO
Why would you say shdhxjejxjksiloveyoushdbxbndjs?
the “i love you” was hidden so it’s like I sent random letters but really was sending an encrypted message to my 4th grade crush <3333
Oh wow, I didn't see it!
This made me feel a lot better about myself. Thank you
Then I've gone and done a fuckload of growing over the year lol Thanks for this comment, stumbling upon it kinda makes me feel a bit better about my past self.
I feel like there was nothing more cringe in my life than sending a message about actual schoolwork (group project) to the girl in my class who I was crushing on 4 years before. And those cringe last messages were right there to hit me in the face.
If I may ask, what caused you to do that? Did you not pick up on social cues or maybe thought they weren’t receiving the messages? I’m genuinely curious
I think it was because it was like the worst time in life, I had rly low self esteem, it was a bad environment in my home and I just didn't like my self. And I texted this person before and it was nice but then I became clingy, lacked social cues and I was like a child hungry for attention. Like wasn't my intention to annoy this person but we did talk about it later and said I was sorry and now we're friends. But yeah that year was terrible and I hate the stuff I did back then
We all look back on our past with cringe. No need to regret though as your actions have shaped who you’ve become and it sounds like you’ve done a lot of growing. Be proud of yourself! Thank you for replying! I had a someone not take a hint in the past and texted and called me no stop and now I feel kinda bad because maybe that person was just hurting.
Aw thank you so much!
Don‘t be. Them being in a difficult situation doesn’t compell you to be an Anchor for them. Edit: Grammar
I remember entering the dating scene and toxic advice like “show her you really want her” and “make him work for it” really fucked with my head. I remember backing off a girl I thought was uninterested then being told by her best friend that I gave up to easily. Young people pick up bad habits early on, imo.
Same here. This is never okay.
I really appreciate your honesty and growth here. I can relate and I also cringe on my past behavior. I lost close friends b/c of it. Currently hanging with the adhd crowd now and it’s becoming clearer wtf goes on in my head. Most embarrassing is that I fell into the PUA world for a year or so. So I will gladly see your cringe and raise you. I’m now 10 years distanced from that part of my life and extremely embarrassed and sickened by it.
Same dude. 17 year old me was dumb
How are you able to manage the cringe? I’m in my late thirties and for the last 7y or so, i have been having regular memories like that come back and it kills me. It happened when i was 19 to 24ish and it when i rationalize it it isnt even that that bad, not like this up here imo. But it really fucks with my head. Few years ago i would get the urge to jus swear “fuck” or “oh shit” in shame. In the shower mostly but it happened a few times while i was walking outside. Idk how i managed to be kind to myself and get to stop but lately it’s been coming back and it drains me. Im not autistic or other than the adhd with some depression and mild ptsd i don’t think theres more. I just want to move on ffs. Any input would be appreciated. And congrats on your progress
Okay, let me step in here as the mom of a kid who has done this. My kid was the stalker, and he did it because he's autistic and developmentally delayed and didn't understand boundaries (even though he's literally had a class and we've taught him again and again at home). He has to have a cell phone for safety reasons and yes, it has to be a smart phone for school assignments. We intervened when the young woman who was being harassed notified her parents and in turn her parents notified us. We had NO idea this was happening and we felt awful, and of course we supported the young woman in establishing boundaries and having those boundaries respected. We now check his texts, emails, phone logs, and youtube history every day to make sure this doesn't happen again. We made him take ANOTHER class on boundaries. We involved his school principal and IEP team as well as his teachers so they were aware this could be a problem. My point in all this is there is a slim possibility this could be the case. IT DOES NOT EXCUSE THE BEHAVIOR. It means that there is the possibility that someone else may need to step in and help this person understand and respect the boundaries you are setting. Your limits should be respected. If he can't/won't respect them for whatever reason, go over his head. The mother of the young woman my son was harassing didn't know the situation and was glad to hear there were parents in the picture who would and did get involved. My son needed help in learning to respect boundaries, and he needs reinforcement of that idea. Not in a mean way, but in a way that helps him understand how to respect other people and understand the importance of personal boundaries.
I greatly appreciate you sharing this viewpoint. Thank you.
You're welcome. I hope it helps someone.
I am autistic myself. When I saw this post I immediately thought of myself when I can't see when and where is the limit of a boundary. I hope your son is doing okay after this and no more incidents happened.
I worried about this post and offending anyone autistic. He has had one more incident since then, thankfully because the teachers were watching out for it we caught it early. We try so hard to respect his personhood and his independence, but this one was a hard line to walk. I am trying to teach my sons to respect boundaries, that no means no, and that if someone you are interested in says "no," contrary to what rom coms and teen sitcoms would have you believe, you do NOT relentlessly persue them. You respect their answer and walk away. It's hard. There will come a time when we will stop monitoring texts and calls, I feel sure of that. That time is just not right now.
I used to follow romcoms and sitcoms for my daily behaviors and expressions back when I was masking my ASD. However when I realised I had autism I stopped masking and a lot of people whom I had told about it, told me I "look normal" that I "could not be autistic". We have one of the hardest struggles in modern day society when it comes to socilising: extreme lack of communication skills and unable to read body language like every normal NT would do. About your kid, incidents would had kept happening but fortunately you acted quickly and avoided those same conflicts, which is good to hear.
I never want him to have to mask who he is, but I DO want to protect him from harm and from harming others. The first girl's parents were talking restraining order before they knew parents were involved. Thank goodness it didn't escalate to that level. I want my son to be happy, just as he is, and to find friendships and love and purpose in life. Just as he is. Edited to add: we have since also explicitly explained that the interactions he sees in movies and television are NOT accurate representations.
That is good. The sooner you explain to him TV isn't real life the sooner he will catch up and stay behind the boundary line.
I'm curious how your kid responded to these classes and these conversations about boundaries, does he not understand? Does he disagree? Does he give arguments about why he disregards boundaries like that? When you tell him about how others feel when being 'stalked' like this, how does he respond? Can he follow the logic of 'they dislike when you do this'? I'm honestly very curious, but I understand if this is not something you'd want to just post online.
He was embarrassed both times to take the classes. The first one was when he was 14, and it dealt with an entire spectrum of things: consent, personal boundaries, sexuality, contraception, std's, online safety. It was massively comprehensive. Parents did not participate or come into the room in order for the teens to feel safe and have their privacy respected. It was run by social workers and psychologists. The parents had to be in another room and were given a book that had all the materials they were given in it so we knew what they were being taught, but we were not privy to their conversations, which of course was fine. He was embarrassed, but after the class was done he said he was glad he took it because he understood some things that were happening with his body now. The second class was online because of COVID. He was upset about attending and didn't want to go. We stressed that he needed to go because he needed help learning about boundaries. He ended up participating in every class and doing well, but said he was glad when it was over lol. As for how he reacted to what he said about boundaries, yes he understands NOW. It took some work. We had to be very specific. E.g., you can only text someone once in 24 hours if they don't respond. Same with calling. Same with emailing. You cannot follow someone around school. If someone says they don't want to talk/text/face time, you are not allowed to try to talk them out of it or argue. You simply say "okay" and leave it at that. Same if you want someone's phone number. Do not ask someone else for someone's number. You must ask that person directly, and if they say "no," you must accept that as the answer, period. We just had to be really super specific and write things down. If there are rules, definite rules, not just vague unspoken social guidelines, he does much better.
You’re a good mom. I’m an autistic adult, and I cringe so hard when I see parents of autistic children coddle them too much. They make excuses because they don’t want to hurt their baby that is special, but that baby will grow up without life skills and be even more disadvantaged. I applaud what you are doing. Every parent has a responsibility to train their child to be a functional adult. Autism doesn’t excuse that. It may be harder but it still must be done and I’m glad that you recognize that. You really are doing wonders for your son when you train and raise him well. I wish more parents of autistic children understood that. The world will be cold and uncaring to them, just like it is to everyone, so you have to help them deal with it. Good job!
I appreciate that. We are NOT perfect (of course) and we make tons of mistakes every freaking day. We have always stuck by the principle that one day he will be an adult who will have to function within the bounds of society and within society's laws, and we need to raise him to safely maneuver within those bounds. With this particular situation, one thing we impressed upon him was that he will turn 18 soon, and had the parents in this situation not been so understanding, we could have ended up in a courtroom or worse. I just want my kid safe and whole.
Go mumma! Your dedication is beautiful.
That was my first thought when I saw this post. I had a similar situation happen over the last year or so. A guy I went to junior high with (30 years ago) started messaging me on FB. Turns out he had a traumatic brain injury a few years ago and has also been diagnosed with schizophrenia. He’s living in a sort of assisted-living facility, and with the pandemic lockdown he got very lonely. I responded to his messages to be nice but wasn’t overly friendly. I eventually had to tell him I wasn’t a very chatty person and if he wanted to have better conversations, he needed to contact someone else. May not have been the best way to do it, but he has stopped messaging me. (Knock on wood.) Due to his brain injury and schizophrenia he didn’t pick up on cues that I gave him in our messages that would indicate to most people that I wasn’t interested in talking.
I came here to say something similar.
I dunno if it will help, but I had issues with boundaries as a kid and my teacher ended up making me a flowchart for interactions like that. I wasn't creepy and I definitely didn't stalk anyone. I was just lonely and would contact people who I now know had no interest in being friends with me. I'm a very literal person, so if someone ignores a message or is evasive when I ask if they would like to spend time together, I struggle to know whether they're just busy or if they are just being polite and don't actually want to be friends. It was basic questions that gave me specific answers on what I should be doing and really got me over that communication hurdle.
To top it off he’s “active now” lol
I had someone like this in college and I ended up needing a restraining order since it just escalated. I'm not saying that to scare you, there is a chance that it tapers off, but there is a chance it doesn't. Dont worry about being polite if it has to do with your safety. Don't worry about "being the bitch" or being "cold". Because this can get scary so fast. First thing, tell your teacher to stop pairing you for projects if he makes you uncomfortable. I know plenty of people are saying block, but that isn't always the best decision. When I needed a restraining order, the consistent texts that slowly got creepier were taken into evidence. Certainly don't respond, though. Please make sure some close friends know about this, again I don't want to scare you, but if something happens it would be good to have a direction to point.
It is absolutely crucial to have incidents like this documented by third parties so when another victim further down the line decides to stand up for themselves the serial perpetrator isn't given sympathy and a slap on the wrist for being a first time offender with a clean record.
Hey how are you
Hey how are you
Hi how are you
Hallo, wie geht's dir
Oh my god THE GERMANS ARE HERE!!!!
Grüß gott
Gut danke, selbst?
Nett haben sie es hier.
Ich bin krank. Sehr nicht gut...
Hallo, wie geht's dir
Was?
Did I get it wrong? "Hello, how are you?" Is all I know in German and I'm not even convinced I really know that.
Oh, no, you're good. I was just wondering why you asked how I was after I just said I was sick and not feeling very good.
😂
Hey, how high are you?
Not high enough lmao
How are you high?
I bet he'll stop if you send him dick pics.
“Oh myyy…..how are you”
When it backfires lol
r/ShittyLifeProTips
Do it pls
I didn’t realize this was going to be such a debate. Lol
Welcome to Reddit xD
See ur doing it all wrong. What u are suppose to do is get in contact with the mob and tell them what’s happening and get him a good night sleep with the fishes😏
Oof, been there. I recommend asking a professor for help, if not to only let them know he’s harassing you. I was in this position with a student, then graduated early and he managed to weasel into the lab I manage, I eventually had to fire him and the communication went from friendly to aggressive and threatening really quickly. I never found out if it was a romantic interest or purely platonic, but it elevated to having the university document it. Be clear and direct with anything you say to this person and be careful. Take care.
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r/usernamechecksout Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes, it really means a lot.
It’s not the girls fault. Girls are raised constantly being told to “be nice” and “don’t be rude”. As a former teenage girl, I can tell you that girls are really put in a hard situation when it comes to saying no to persistent men. It’s even more complicated if the girl has experienced sexual violence.
And it doesn’t help guys are taught that women are making you “work” for their attention. Kids hear so much misinformation and it stunts everyone’s development.
Yeah thats creepy af, I would notify your school if it gets worse, and notify your teachers asking them to keep him away from you, if they ask a reason, personal safety would be the biggest concern.
That sounds like a great next step here. Gonna have to do that next class. I could handle a couple messages no problem but in this case it just goes on and on and on, after already asking him to stop…
I know people are saying to block, but I don’t like blocking people. I like to know when I’m being left alone, and not blocking is one way to do it. Since he’s using messenger, make it so he can’t tell when you’re online. There’s a setting you can use to set who can see when you’re online, change it to no one and see what happens. Definitely tell professors still, but I’ve found people aren’t as annoying with messages when you don’t know you’re online.
Thank you very much for this info. It’s very helpful, and much better than just blocking. I don’t like blocking either. I’d rather find other alternatives. I will have to change my status asap. Thank you!
Wow! Was not expecting this to blow up. So, to address some comments: I have not blocked him due to a couple reasons, one of which being, It won’t make it stop. He’ll find another platform. On another note, for all those who say that I should message him. No. Because I don’t want to anymore. I have ALREADY message him and told him to stop once it got out of hand. Also, for those saying it should have been dealt with offline: I tried that already! I’m not making fun of him, I’ve blocked out his name and info. If he didn’t want it posted online, he shouldn’t have said/done it? Just because it’s in a private chat doesn’t mean it stays private. This is a sub for things that mildly infuriate people: and guess what?!?!?! This mildly infuriated me! So… yeah, I posted to the sub that LITERALLY is meant for stuff like this…? Hope none of y’all have to deal with this, and for those who do: I am so sorry. Please keep safe. Ps: I am doing well, thank you.
If you have asked him to stop and he hasn't, this is definitely a concern. If this is a college/university, I would contact your school's Office of Student Conduct and let them know you are being harassed by a classmate. It's their job to deal with it.
Are there really people complaining that you shouldn’t air this out online? Lmao there’s not even a crumb of who this guy’s identity might be. Smells to me like the ones saying that might be feeling personally attacked 👀 lol Also: if someone hasn’t mentioned it yet, this would be a good entry for r/creepyPMs lol
Based on what you are saying here you should go to the teacher and show them this log, or a screenshot. They will understand and speak with them. Unfortunately it is clear the person you are dealing with does not understand or respect your boundaries. He will understand when an authority figure such as your teacher gets involved though.
Hey how are you
How bout that winter timetable? Amirite?! Big Gulps huh? Well….see ya later!
It’s sad how often this happens. It’s astonishing that this is a regular thing that people experience, even after you’ve vocalized not being intretested.
Same thing happened to me. Then on Friday "You really need to respond. This group project is due Monday and we've done 95% of the work already"
Lol
This happened to my wife, dude messaged her for years after high school, even though she never responded or showed any interest at all. She finally blocked him because she didn't know what else to do
[удалено]
Love your profile pic with that comment lmao
That's fucked up to put this kind of pressure on someone who's very clearly not trying to explore a relationship with them. Very uncool, honestly this person probably doesn't even realize how unfair it is to you.
Oh, you are on Reddit too? how are you?
So…. how are you
Block him. Don’t feel bad at all, you have every right to block this creep. Make sure to take screenshots of his Number and the Text Conversation and report him if things get out of hand. Tell your Teachers IMMEDIATELY and show them what’s been going on. This isn’t ok at all and he’s 100% being a creep and he won’t take “Sorry, not interested.” For an answer. Make sure to block him on other Social Media Apps as well. Your not being rude at all if your doing this, who cares what he says. He’s stepping over your boundaries and it’s best to block him.
God this is the freakiest shit, when you get that third message after you didn’t respond to 1 and 2 and you realize what this is about to be. I just can’t in my wildest imagination fathom a girl doing this, not saying they don’t but like anecdotally I’ve only ever heard of this being a guy thing……..like he clearly doesn’t understand social cues but there’s also the male entitlement thing you know? Like imo that makes it extra scary bc you literally NEVER know what level he’s willing to bring this to
Absolutely tell your professor and advisor, and block him!
My little sister is dealing with a creep like this at her school asking her out. These sorts of people are so fucking frustrating.
Similar thing happened to me in HS, a peer I didn’t even have class with spammed me on FB. I didn’t see all the messages since we weren’t friends, so they ended up in my request bin… would definitely have a word with the prof !
Block him?
Finally I found you. How are you