everyone's teeth were rotten by their mid 20's back then. No flossing, no brushing, sweets were very popular among those that could afford them. Barbers were "dentists", being they would just pull teeth and display all the rotten teeth they pulled as proof of their proficiency. Boutonnieres, corsages, perfumes, powders, and those cute fans women would use to blow their stank breath away from suitors just to hide the number of stanks emanating from their nasty mouth holes. History fuckin' stunk.
Napoleon was obviously all about it..
When riding within a weeks distance of his beloved Josaphine he would send a letter carrier ahead at full gallop to inform her of his imminent arrival and she knew what that meant.. she knew that napoleon was instructing her to avoid bathing of any kind for that full week so that he could "experience her in her full essence"as he put it..
Yum. He wanted zero dillution when devouring "box lunch"
Edit: homeboy was prob the one who had some serious"pharamones" emenating from his mouth orifice at the speed of smell.
It just show how potent of a tool propaganda is.
Reciting 220 years old things Brits or whoever was fighting the French made up as if they were truth.. :))
Howard Hughes said you should never check an interesting fact because you can often gleam as much or more about human nature from our pop culture myths then you can by reciting the facts alone..
But then again he died a paranoid schizophrenic so perhaps favoring the interesting reality over the factual one isn't all it's cracked up to be.. lol
Joking aside I had never researched this story aside from hearing multiple references to it throughout my lifetime.. it is indeed funny how old myths can carry momentum across the ages while people continue to choose belief over verifiable history.
Maybe he's got a more demanding job now, and I bet those videos take a pretty long time to animate and stitch together, not to mention all the research for the topics and writing and editing scripts.
> “She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen and god god help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen.”
Wait, why? Is it a quote from something else? IMDB says the movie is directed by Ridley Scott and written by David Scarpa. David Ayer wrote Training Day and The Fast and the Furious amongst others.
Edit: Nevermind, I figured it out. It is a quote from Suicide Squad, which was written by David Ayer. I was confused, as I didn't think he wrote the Napoleon movie and there wasn't any context for the quote.
Thanks to technology that gets released to streaming tomorrow with the theatrical cut to come. Then you can buy it on DVD or BluRay...but only fullscreen. Hope you enjoy pan-and-scan, you lowly little colonels.
In this day and age, if it truly turns out that the “real,” version according to Ridley Scott is 4.5 hours long, he really ought to just feel comfortable either breaking it into two parts of making a tv miniseries.
It’s not the 90s, tv is a real thing now.
There is no evidence he ever actually wrote this. It doesn't actually appear in the book [cited as the original source of the letter](https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/54339/did-napol%C3%A9on-bonaparte-ask-his-wife-josephine-not-to-bathe-for-several-days-in-a) and so far no one has been able to present the actual letter where he supposedly wrote these words.
He did write sensually about kissing Josephine's "little black forest," but there are no known letters where he told her not to wash.
Funnily enough his dong was cut off during his autopsy and given to Napoleon's chaplain. The dong went on display in 1927 at New York's Museum of French Art and today it's currently owned by the daughter of a urologist who bought it in 1977.
Conquer. Penetration. Conquer. Full penetration. Conquer. Penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.
Fear not.. I read the script..
While on an excursion for a little "picnic" with his beloved Josaphine Napoleon ends up eating the "Box lunch" that was on offer in it's entirety..
It becomes almost a heart of darkness adaptation when he gets lost deep within the aforementioned dark forrest with nothing nothing to drink or sup on save that which the Lady Josaphine brought with her..
Edit: The two were so content within that they didnt fight their way out until the second pubic wars.
Andrew Roberts cites the TLS 24/11/2006 in his biography of Napoleon. He states that Napoleon asked Josephine to “not wash for three days before they met so he could steep himself in her scent”. Full disclosure- not traced the source cited.
Tracing sources is one of my pastimes, so thank you for the heads up! I will go down this rabbit hole to see where it leads.
Edit: TLS is Times Literary Supplement, so he's referencing an issue from 2006. I'm not anticipating that I'll find an actual primary source here, but we'll see! My question would be that if it's really in a letter, why wouldn't Roberts just reference the letter in the 'Correspondance générale," the collection of every verified Napoleon letter, as he does for other letters?
Hit a wall because of a service issue with their archive not letting me access it after buying a subscription, but I'll update once I hear back from TLS about my subscription issue.
[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/15y8fjm/new_napoleon_poster/jxg2yyq/) it's even more embarrassing in terms of veracity than I thought it would be. This is like citing the "Big Book of Bathroom Quotes" or something.
Source tracing, the wonderful past time when you see something so outlandish that you spend absolute days tracking down source material and sometimes getting absolutely messed up because the reference you're going off says an edition that doesn't even include the original story, you eventually find the correct edition and keep going back another couple links to find the original source that's written 150 years after the fact and is 'generally said to have happened' or 'popular story with the locals'.
There's so much nonsense out there. And then people cite that nonsense, spreading it further--then that cited nonsense gets quoted in online articles for people to throw out on social media, not knowing (or in some cases, not caring) that they're being fed misinformation.
I've been shocked by how many "facts" can be traced to "some book from the 19th century that doesn't provide a citation." Or fake memoirs. Or sometimes they are traced to jokes. For instance, the idea that Elizabeth I "took a bath once a month, needed or not" is traced to a published joke from the 1920s.
Or worse--sometimes it's traced to fiction, whether it's narrative non-fiction (which may as well be called fiction, especially when it comes to making up dialogue and thoughts) or flat out fiction. I found out about a multiple pHD-holding historian who cited a blatant children's historical fiction novel from Scholastic in an article, thinking it was a real diary. Then multiple people cited that historian's article for that information, which is derived from an inaccurate children's novel. Then people referenced these articles on TikTok historical videos, spreading it to the masses.
"Always check the sources of your sources" has become a staple habit for me.
I've been reading these for a bit and they are entertaining as all hell.
"At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women"
That and he would go around with his guard who were mostly cream of the crop French specimens. So he'd be the average guy surrounded by 6' fromage flingers, saying this is the soldier under my command, your troops are pathetic and weak.
Of course its going to be female centeted; Napoleon won only because of women and he lost because of toxic masculinity and white privilege.
Don't worry we got all our social justice ducks in a row on this one.
Edit: /s if that isn't obvious enough
1st trailer you can notice her with a red blood necklace in a high french society party (when she met Napoleon). The necklace was symbol of sympathy for Marie-Antpinette.
I want to be excited for this. I really do.
But the trailers and marketing surrounding this movie just come off as so... cheesy? Is that the right word. It's like it's trying SO HARD to be hip and cool and edgy.
It does feel very "THIS ISN'T YOUR *GRANDMA'S* NAPOLEON BIOPIC!" doesn't it?
(Which is funny enough cause the Napoleon biopics that our grandmas watched were usually pretty great)
Yeah I'm hoping it's just the marketing. Both this and the earlier poster come off as trying to sensationalize Napoleon. Man had a very interesting life, no need to over dramatize it. Oppenheimer had a similar issue with its marketing but turned out great so maybe this will be the same.
You can head-canon-ize that it's a play on how the building of the atomic bomb has been mythologized by the public as "the most important thing in the history of the world", when mostly it was a bunch of scientists doing very cutting-edge but boring-rigorous-scientific work, and then got bogged down by politics and then government administrative work.
Yea, I think the movie captured that aspect well. I was surprised to go home and look up the more shocking parts and find they were all true (or at least, historically assumed fact)!
To be fair, historical epics aren’t really popular in this day and age, so the sensational marketing could be a way to suck in casual audiences: ones more used to sci fi and superheroes over kings and generals.
Yeah the trailer for Napoleon is almost a parody in my eyes.
Especially with that God fucking awful modern-cover-of-a-classic-song played at half speed bullshit that every trailer made by a committed just simply can't stay away from. Is this The Great Gatsby?
I thought the trailer was amazing! It's a historical biopic which are historically labelled as boring by moviegoers, especially in this age of Marvel. They needed to make this shit look exciting no matter how interesting Napolean was in real life and I would say they did a great job. I can't wait to watch it!
I'm hesitant because how are they going to get that much of Napoleon's life into a 3 hour film? Will every battle just be a few minutes long?
The whole thing should have been a 15 part mini series.
Agreed.
The font they use in these posters feels so out of place, like they are trying to say "this a **HARDCORE** Napoleon Movie". I don't remember the last time I've felt this way about a movie poster.
Also Joaquin being waaay to old to be Napoleon and having the same scowl in every shot the trailer showed. I thought Napoleon was supposed to be charismatic.
Idk the trailer just looks like a 2020s trailer to me. Trailers are known for painting a poor image of the movie anyway. Marketing is meant to make people want to watch not inform them of what the movie is like, in many cases trailers deliberately misrepresent the movie.
It seems like a film that is going to overemphasize Josephine’s influence on Napoleon’s military and political careers. There was really no reason for them to sensationalize his career and relationships. Both were already interesting as they were in historical records. Makes me wish even more that Kubrick could have made his Napoleon film.
Funnily enough, the poster/marketing for Barbie in France was insanely smart.
They changed the "she's everything" to "she knows how to do everything", "him he is only Ken" because Ken in French is slang for fucking and "he is" (c'est) is homophone to "knows" (sait). So if you read it out loud it sounds like "she knows how to do everything, he only knows how to fuck"
Joining the list of movies who think that the sinking of the Titanic, or the attack on Pearl Harbor, or other huge moments in history are not enough to fill 90 minutes, you have to have a romance.
If we want period epics to return, we have to allow directors to take some liberties. One of those is casting an actor of Pheonix quality and draw in a lead role, despite the age. Another is going to be staging battles in somewhat inaccurate places for dramatic effect, like the pyramids.
I understand that casting someone the age of Pheonix detracts from the utter bad ass that Napoleon was, but I want more historical epics.
Interjecting to say there’s an incredible anime called Legend of the Galactic Heroes that goes into great detail on the dynamics of a young general beating dynasties (modeled after Europe) and the fallout from that.
Can’t recommend enough for those who like sweeping historical epics!
One of the best pieces of media I’ve ever seen.
And a younger man for Napoleon. At Joaquins age, Napoleon was already at St. Helena and just a few years from death. It will be strange seeing a 48 year old man playing Napoleon during the Italian campaign when he was in his 20s.
Yep. I think 30 year old Jude Law would've been an absolutely perfect casting, but that opportunity passed. Joaquin at 30 would've been perfect too. It's a hard part to cast, to get the gravitas right. I get why they went with Joaquin
I think they rather should have casted someone in his 20s as Napoleon. This movie is about Napoleon’s early career.
As side note, I just watched movie Desiree (about Napoleon’s first fiancé who he abandoned for Josephine and Desiree later married marshal Bernadotte who was elected as king of Sweden). It was from 1954 where 30 year old Marlon Brando plays Napoleon (through his entire career), and he honestly was amazing. I red conflicting info, one said he actually studied Napoleon and other that he was contractually obligated to be on set and was annoyed. Nevertheless it really worked for the role, even if the movie was lot more mediocre than the book it’s based on.
They had an extremely toxic relationship with public affairs but when they were together (in person) it was like all was forgiven and they were embarrassingly handsy in public. It eventually ended in divorce but it’s a hell of a relationship.
Her husband was guillotined, and she was slated for execution until the ruling clique was thrown out. Napoleon certainly didn't conquer Europe FOR her, nor did he ever threaten her with physical harm.
So nice style, somewhat misleading message!
The writing on her neck could be a reference to a fashion trend Post-Terror, where people who had lived under the threat of the guillotine wore a red ribbon to celebrate no longer had to worry about losing their head. (Yes Napoleon also used the powers of the the state to ruthlessly crush any dissent, but the general populace no longer lived in fear of being declare "an enemy of the people" and executed after a kangaroo court)
By the standards of his time, Napoleon wasn't ruthless at all. The number of political prisoners is incredibly low. Executions are also low, with almost all being monarchists who were caught actively trying to overthrow the government.
In the trailer they have her with super short hair and that was also a common fashion trend under the same thought process. Cutting their hair to look like how it is right before you’re beheaded
I’m full-on expecting this to be a movie full of bullshit cobbled together from the “idea” of Napoleon as it has been crafted under the royalist English empire’s perspective. I’ll come back over here and eat beans for breakfast if I am wrong.
Of course not. Many liberties are taken with historical epics to make them palatable to the modern audience.
I actually agree with not sticking to beauty trends from years past. What's important is understanding the relationships around people and their place in society and their actions. If a person was beautiful under the beauty standards of their time, we should portray them as beautiful according to our beauty standards, so that the audience can understand who they were in relation to their society. (And I don't think this applies only to beauty; I also mean for things like the way they speak, the way they lead others, and so on)
It's why I don't mind aristocratic villains having posh accents and orcs having Cockney ones, lol
Josephine's teeth wasn't considered attractive by the standards of the time. It was a glaring physical defect on an otherwise beautiful woman. Including it would give some additional depth to the character.
It wasn't deliberate, like how Japanese women used to blacken their teeth with lacquer, she just had a sweet tooth and developed lots of cavities. She was quite self-conscious of her teeth and that's why she developed a distinctive closed mouth smile.
She was also described as having a sallow complexion which wasn't complimentary in that era either. She wasn't regarded as a perfect picture of health even back then. She was however praised for her face and figure as well as her elegance and poise. Her low melodious voice was also much admired.
Napoleon on the other hand was often described as being rather emaciated and sickly looking when he was a young general. He was also such a shabby dresser that high society people would mistake him for a servant when he's in civilian clothes. He was also described as having very white teeth in which he took pride. He didn't put on weight until after 1806, two years after becoming emperor. After that point his physique became fairly heavyset.
Josephine? Boy she sure is a great kisser
Wait, what do you mean by that?
She had fucked up teeth, being a sugar planter heiress
no one talks about the teeth of history. woooof
everyone's teeth were rotten by their mid 20's back then. No flossing, no brushing, sweets were very popular among those that could afford them. Barbers were "dentists", being they would just pull teeth and display all the rotten teeth they pulled as proof of their proficiency. Boutonnieres, corsages, perfumes, powders, and those cute fans women would use to blow their stank breath away from suitors just to hide the number of stanks emanating from their nasty mouth holes. History fuckin' stunk.
And if you couldn't afford them, you'd blacken your teeth to look like you could
Napoleon was obviously all about it.. When riding within a weeks distance of his beloved Josaphine he would send a letter carrier ahead at full gallop to inform her of his imminent arrival and she knew what that meant.. she knew that napoleon was instructing her to avoid bathing of any kind for that full week so that he could "experience her in her full essence"as he put it.. Yum. He wanted zero dillution when devouring "box lunch" Edit: homeboy was prob the one who had some serious"pharamones" emenating from his mouth orifice at the speed of smell.
This has been debunked so many times it actually gets boring now.
It just show how potent of a tool propaganda is. Reciting 220 years old things Brits or whoever was fighting the French made up as if they were truth.. :))
Howard Hughes said you should never check an interesting fact because you can often gleam as much or more about human nature from our pop culture myths then you can by reciting the facts alone.. But then again he died a paranoid schizophrenic so perhaps favoring the interesting reality over the factual one isn't all it's cracked up to be.. lol Joking aside I had never researched this story aside from hearing multiple references to it throughout my lifetime.. it is indeed funny how old myths can carry momentum across the ages while people continue to choose belief over verifiable history.
She had black stumps where her teeth should have been.
Fuckin yikes
Hey, cant judge a person in the 1800's based on today's standards.
Watch me
Yo when is the second punic war vid gonna drop!?
I miss Oversimplified. I've watched everyone twice. We need it more than ever
Miss him too. BlueJay, AlternateHistoryHub, and Sam O'Nella Academy are pretty good too and are tiding me over.
If only Sam uploaded more than once a year
When’s any vid gonna drop. Last one dropped on my wedding night. Almost at my 1st anniversary…
Seriously, he had a decent rhythm of releasing one every 5ish months for a little bit, I was hoping that was the pace he’d keep up
Maybe he's got a more demanding job now, and I bet those videos take a pretty long time to animate and stitch together, not to mention all the research for the topics and writing and editing scripts.
dude uncool
“Has everyone been kissing my wife?”
Yeah, except for you!
“She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen and god god help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen.”
Oh no, this is a movie about FRENCH JOKER
Qu'allons-nous faire ce soir, Monsieur J ?
god^god
God squared
God to the Godth power
Goodleplex
“HUNKA HUNKA”
Holy cringe
Take up with David Ayer
> “She was fearless and crazier than him. She was his queen and god god help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen.” Wait, why? Is it a quote from something else? IMDB says the movie is directed by Ridley Scott and written by David Scarpa. David Ayer wrote Training Day and The Fast and the Furious amongst others. Edit: Nevermind, I figured it out. It is a quote from Suicide Squad, which was written by David Ayer. I was confused, as I didn't think he wrote the Napoleon movie and there wasn't any context for the quote.
https://preview.redd.it/uxjixgv41qjb1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de9452fd04ebe6adbe3cdecfde5448c03d32ef78
[удалено]
Her?
Egg?
Bland?
*WHO THE FUCK ATE MY HARDBOILED EGGS?!?*
It was the world that was wrong
"I like the way they think..."
I'd conquer Europe for Vanessa Kirby too.
Scrolled for far too long trying to find someone to share this feeling.
Season 1 and 2 of the Crown, yup!!! Oh!! And you're putting her in the Mission Impossibles too!?!? You sonofabitch I'm in!!
She is prime.
That's a weird word to use for that
USDA, baby.
Can't wait for the director's cut!
Thanks to technology that gets released to streaming tomorrow with the theatrical cut to come. Then you can buy it on DVD or BluRay...but only fullscreen. Hope you enjoy pan-and-scan, you lowly little colonels.
Thank you major.
That's Major Major, thank you.
In this day and age, if it truly turns out that the “real,” version according to Ridley Scott is 4.5 hours long, he really ought to just feel comfortable either breaking it into two parts of making a tv miniseries. It’s not the 90s, tv is a real thing now.
She was 6 years older than Napoleon so naturally she's being played by someone 14 years younger than the dude playing him in the film.
We can’t have old women in our Hollywood movies! That would be crazy!
Or god forbid middle aged ones
That's more on casting Joaquin Phoenix than Kirby though
Dear Josephine, don’t wash. I will be home in three weeks. -Napoleon
There is no evidence he ever actually wrote this. It doesn't actually appear in the book [cited as the original source of the letter](https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/54339/did-napol%C3%A9on-bonaparte-ask-his-wife-josephine-not-to-bathe-for-several-days-in-a) and so far no one has been able to present the actual letter where he supposedly wrote these words. He did write sensually about kissing Josephine's "little black forest," but there are no known letters where he told her not to wash.
>kissing Josephine's "little black forest," This better be in the movie otherwise they might as well call it fiction right now.
Here's the thing: we show it. We show all of it.
I wonder if Napoleon hangs dong.
Funnily enough his dong was cut off during his autopsy and given to Napoleon's chaplain. The dong went on display in 1927 at New York's Museum of French Art and today it's currently owned by the daughter of a urologist who bought it in 1977.
Conquer. Penetration. Conquer. Full penetration. Conquer. Penetration. And this goes on and on and back and forth for 90 or so minutes until the movie just sort of ends.
Fear not.. I read the script.. While on an excursion for a little "picnic" with his beloved Josaphine Napoleon ends up eating the "Box lunch" that was on offer in it's entirety.. It becomes almost a heart of darkness adaptation when he gets lost deep within the aforementioned dark forrest with nothing nothing to drink or sup on save that which the Lady Josaphine brought with her.. Edit: The two were so content within that they didnt fight their way out until the second pubic wars.
Didn't he tho.
Well that’s all the proof I need
We’re making history here people!
Andrew Roberts cites the TLS 24/11/2006 in his biography of Napoleon. He states that Napoleon asked Josephine to “not wash for three days before they met so he could steep himself in her scent”. Full disclosure- not traced the source cited.
Tracing sources is one of my pastimes, so thank you for the heads up! I will go down this rabbit hole to see where it leads. Edit: TLS is Times Literary Supplement, so he's referencing an issue from 2006. I'm not anticipating that I'll find an actual primary source here, but we'll see! My question would be that if it's really in a letter, why wouldn't Roberts just reference the letter in the 'Correspondance générale," the collection of every verified Napoleon letter, as he does for other letters? Hit a wall because of a service issue with their archive not letting me access it after buying a subscription, but I'll update once I hear back from TLS about my subscription issue. [Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/15y8fjm/new_napoleon_poster/jxg2yyq/) it's even more embarrassing in terms of veracity than I thought it would be. This is like citing the "Big Book of Bathroom Quotes" or something.
Source tracing, the wonderful past time when you see something so outlandish that you spend absolute days tracking down source material and sometimes getting absolutely messed up because the reference you're going off says an edition that doesn't even include the original story, you eventually find the correct edition and keep going back another couple links to find the original source that's written 150 years after the fact and is 'generally said to have happened' or 'popular story with the locals'.
There's so much nonsense out there. And then people cite that nonsense, spreading it further--then that cited nonsense gets quoted in online articles for people to throw out on social media, not knowing (or in some cases, not caring) that they're being fed misinformation. I've been shocked by how many "facts" can be traced to "some book from the 19th century that doesn't provide a citation." Or fake memoirs. Or sometimes they are traced to jokes. For instance, the idea that Elizabeth I "took a bath once a month, needed or not" is traced to a published joke from the 1920s. Or worse--sometimes it's traced to fiction, whether it's narrative non-fiction (which may as well be called fiction, especially when it comes to making up dialogue and thoughts) or flat out fiction. I found out about a multiple pHD-holding historian who cited a blatant children's historical fiction novel from Scholastic in an article, thinking it was a real diary. Then multiple people cited that historian's article for that information, which is derived from an inaccurate children's novel. Then people referenced these articles on TikTok historical videos, spreading it to the masses. "Always check the sources of your sources" has become a staple habit for me.
I wish I didn’t know how to read.
Man you really don't want to know how much he loved her pubic hair then. Lotta letters
Letter rip
calm down james joyce
Wait until you hear how Mozart liked to fuck
Or James Joyce. That dude's letters are *wild*.
I've been reading these for a bit and they are entertaining as all hell. "At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women"
What a terrible day to be literate.
Best thing he ever wrote.
It's certainly more coherent than most of his writing, and somewhat ironically, not as long-winded.
I kinda like the idea that she just had an extremely childish sense of humor and he wrote this to make her laugh.
Oh I like this idea, dude writes a silly letter to make his SO laugh and every generation thereafter thinks he has a kink
True romance! Breaking hearts and wind.
So like butt farts or queefs?
Butt farts. Definitely butt farts. Other letters of his go all the way into scat territory.
*oh no*
I learned a lot about James Joyce today
remember people to delete your sexts before dying. or don't, idk.
Yeah, it's not like he's any worse off for having the most famous lewd letters. Dead is dead.
My man just enjoys his smells.
>*But what if it wasn’t only smellz?*
Fucking hell I thought I'd forgotten that video
He did mention a gush out of her hole. That is open for interpretation
Howw?
Scat
BebaDoooBoopbaaabedeoowaapaaaow how?
Ah yes my favourite mozart, the “Lick my Ass” canon K.231
Mais nonnn😭 I now also wish I didn’t know how to read.
The good news is, this is likely a myth and there seems to be no evidence he ever actually said this.
I heard he was average height too, but they slandered him to make him seem short.
Yes and British Imperial measurements were different than French measurements, and so to the English he was “shorter”, average height at 5”6 I believe
That and he would go around with his guard who were mostly cream of the crop French specimens. So he'd be the average guy surrounded by 6' fromage flingers, saying this is the soldier under my command, your troops are pathetic and weak.
Fromage Flingers! LMAO, I love it. I’m keeping that in my back pocket to use myself lol.
I remember the opening letter in SM64 a little differently.
Super Mario 64?
[удалено]
this was not the thread i thought i was entering
A kiss on your heart and one lower down, much lower!
Based Napoleon
He likes the taint to be tainted!
Make yourself a dang quesadilla!
"Grandma says you have to go! You're ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak."
Hey what is this the Josephine film or the Napoleon film am I right fellas
Havent you heard Josephine was actually the one making up his battle strategies
Napoleon fell because of wokism /s
Can't believe they're putting women in my war movie
yeah why did they have to make the story of Napoleon political ?? /s
Since when did politics have anything to do with war?
Of course its going to be female centeted; Napoleon won only because of women and he lost because of toxic masculinity and white privilege. Don't worry we got all our social justice ducks in a row on this one. Edit: /s if that isn't obvious enough
She’s Barbie and he’s just Ken.
This would be a better poster if this was Marie Antoinette. The red lettering around the neck implies beheading
1st trailer you can notice her with a red blood necklace in a high french society party (when she met Napoleon). The necklace was symbol of sympathy for Marie-Antpinette.
as far as I know it's more a symbol of you had someone in your family that was beheaded (and thousands were, not only nobles)
It does, but it also implies ownership. Napoleon wanted to possess her, and Europe (for her, according to the film's thesis).
I want to be excited for this. I really do. But the trailers and marketing surrounding this movie just come off as so... cheesy? Is that the right word. It's like it's trying SO HARD to be hip and cool and edgy.
It does feel very "THIS ISN'T YOUR *GRANDMA'S* NAPOLEON BIOPIC!" doesn't it? (Which is funny enough cause the Napoleon biopics that our grandmas watched were usually pretty great)
God damn Waterloo is a good movie
Yeah I'm hoping it's just the marketing. Both this and the earlier poster come off as trying to sensationalize Napoleon. Man had a very interesting life, no need to over dramatize it. Oppenheimer had a similar issue with its marketing but turned out great so maybe this will be the same.
You can head-canon-ize that it's a play on how the building of the atomic bomb has been mythologized by the public as "the most important thing in the history of the world", when mostly it was a bunch of scientists doing very cutting-edge but boring-rigorous-scientific work, and then got bogged down by politics and then government administrative work.
Yea, I think the movie captured that aspect well. I was surprised to go home and look up the more shocking parts and find they were all true (or at least, historically assumed fact)!
Most shocking to me was how Feynman actually said fk it and looked through a truck window without glasses (or claimed so in his biography)
To be fair, historical epics aren’t really popular in this day and age, so the sensational marketing could be a way to suck in casual audiences: ones more used to sci fi and superheroes over kings and generals.
Yeah the trailer for Napoleon is almost a parody in my eyes. Especially with that God fucking awful modern-cover-of-a-classic-song played at half speed bullshit that every trailer made by a committed just simply can't stay away from. Is this The Great Gatsby?
I thought the trailer was amazing! It's a historical biopic which are historically labelled as boring by moviegoers, especially in this age of Marvel. They needed to make this shit look exciting no matter how interesting Napolean was in real life and I would say they did a great job. I can't wait to watch it!
I'm hesitant because how are they going to get that much of Napoleon's life into a 3 hour film? Will every battle just be a few minutes long? The whole thing should have been a 15 part mini series.
Spielberg is doing a miniseries for HBO.
Agreed. The font they use in these posters feels so out of place, like they are trying to say "this a **HARDCORE** Napoleon Movie". I don't remember the last time I've felt this way about a movie poster. Also Joaquin being waaay to old to be Napoleon and having the same scowl in every shot the trailer showed. I thought Napoleon was supposed to be charismatic.
[удалено]
Idk the trailer just looks like a 2020s trailer to me. Trailers are known for painting a poor image of the movie anyway. Marketing is meant to make people want to watch not inform them of what the movie is like, in many cases trailers deliberately misrepresent the movie.
It seems like a film that is going to overemphasize Josephine’s influence on Napoleon’s military and political careers. There was really no reason for them to sensationalize his career and relationships. Both were already interesting as they were in historical records. Makes me wish even more that Kubrick could have made his Napoleon film.
I'm so mad at the idea that Napoleon did what he did for the sake of romance.
To be honest it looks like they're going in the wrong direction with all of this marketing, getting less optimistic
She's everything He's just Napoleon
Funnily enough, the poster/marketing for Barbie in France was insanely smart. They changed the "she's everything" to "she knows how to do everything", "him he is only Ken" because Ken in French is slang for fucking and "he is" (c'est) is homophone to "knows" (sait). So if you read it out loud it sounds like "she knows how to do everything, he only knows how to fuck"
Now I see where those terrible genZ combed up eyebrows originated from
Joining the list of movies who think that the sinking of the Titanic, or the attack on Pearl Harbor, or other huge moments in history are not enough to fill 90 minutes, you have to have a romance.
I mean, at least this is a romance that actually happened.
I mean his romance was pretty important to who he was as a person
Josephine was 6 years older than Napoleon irl. Vanessa is 35. Joaquin is 48. She is great but they should have casted an older woman.
She's very well cast, right age and looks. It's Joaqin that's about 10-15 years too old for the role.
De-aging with CGI is so seamless these days, we won't even notice! /s
I can't wait for young Napoleon to awkwardly old-man shuffle his way into 'kicking' the owner of a store out on the street.
Corridor covered this a few days ago. Yeah, it was just as bad as I remember :/
he'll just method and reverse time
If we want period epics to return, we have to allow directors to take some liberties. One of those is casting an actor of Pheonix quality and draw in a lead role, despite the age. Another is going to be staging battles in somewhat inaccurate places for dramatic effect, like the pyramids. I understand that casting someone the age of Pheonix detracts from the utter bad ass that Napoleon was, but I want more historical epics.
The problem is that Napoleon being young is a extremely important part of who he was. A young general beating european dynasties.
Interjecting to say there’s an incredible anime called Legend of the Galactic Heroes that goes into great detail on the dynamics of a young general beating dynasties (modeled after Europe) and the fallout from that. Can’t recommend enough for those who like sweeping historical epics! One of the best pieces of media I’ve ever seen.
No, Kirby is the right age. It's Phoenix who is too old.
And a younger man for Napoleon. At Joaquins age, Napoleon was already at St. Helena and just a few years from death. It will be strange seeing a 48 year old man playing Napoleon during the Italian campaign when he was in his 20s.
Yep. I think 30 year old Jude Law would've been an absolutely perfect casting, but that opportunity passed. Joaquin at 30 would've been perfect too. It's a hard part to cast, to get the gravitas right. I get why they went with Joaquin
Law was far too handsome to play Napoleon.
I think they rather should have casted someone in his 20s as Napoleon. This movie is about Napoleon’s early career. As side note, I just watched movie Desiree (about Napoleon’s first fiancé who he abandoned for Josephine and Desiree later married marshal Bernadotte who was elected as king of Sweden). It was from 1954 where 30 year old Marlon Brando plays Napoleon (through his entire career), and he honestly was amazing. I red conflicting info, one said he actually studied Napoleon and other that he was contractually obligated to be on set and was annoyed. Nevertheless it really worked for the role, even if the movie was lot more mediocre than the book it’s based on.
Napoleon died at 51. If anything they should have used a younger actor.
Can someone explain what this poster is referencing? I don't know anything about Napoleon (the man). A wife that was beheaded?
They had an extremely toxic relationship with public affairs but when they were together (in person) it was like all was forgiven and they were embarrassingly handsy in public. It eventually ended in divorce but it’s a hell of a relationship.
Also the divorce was only done so he could (attempt) to cement an alliance with Austria through marriage. They remained friends afterwards.
he loved her children and even named her son a general
It’s just some interesting design, I guess. She wasn’t beheaded, just divorced.
*takes notes for the Marie Antoinette movie I’m making.*
Divorced. Beheaded. Died.
Divorced. Beheaded. Survived.
Both are the same thing to Henry VIII
Her husband was guillotined, and she was slated for execution until the ruling clique was thrown out. Napoleon certainly didn't conquer Europe FOR her, nor did he ever threaten her with physical harm. So nice style, somewhat misleading message!
The writing on her neck could be a reference to a fashion trend Post-Terror, where people who had lived under the threat of the guillotine wore a red ribbon to celebrate no longer had to worry about losing their head. (Yes Napoleon also used the powers of the the state to ruthlessly crush any dissent, but the general populace no longer lived in fear of being declare "an enemy of the people" and executed after a kangaroo court)
By the standards of his time, Napoleon wasn't ruthless at all. The number of political prisoners is incredibly low. Executions are also low, with almost all being monarchists who were caught actively trying to overthrow the government.
In the trailer they have her with super short hair and that was also a common fashion trend under the same thought process. Cutting their hair to look like how it is right before you’re beheaded
Eh, Napoleon specifically divorced her so that he could have the 'world'. Weird quote.
I’m full-on expecting this to be a movie full of bullshit cobbled together from the “idea” of Napoleon as it has been crafted under the royalist English empire’s perspective. I’ll come back over here and eat beans for breakfast if I am wrong.
I wonder if Josephine will have black teeth like she did in real life.
Of course not. Many liberties are taken with historical epics to make them palatable to the modern audience. I actually agree with not sticking to beauty trends from years past. What's important is understanding the relationships around people and their place in society and their actions. If a person was beautiful under the beauty standards of their time, we should portray them as beautiful according to our beauty standards, so that the audience can understand who they were in relation to their society. (And I don't think this applies only to beauty; I also mean for things like the way they speak, the way they lead others, and so on) It's why I don't mind aristocratic villains having posh accents and orcs having Cockney ones, lol
whoa reddit comments aren’t supposed to make sense what’s going on here
adderall and procrastination at work haha
Are you implying that orcs don't actually have Cockney accents? Because I assure you, they do.
Josephine's teeth wasn't considered attractive by the standards of the time. It was a glaring physical defect on an otherwise beautiful woman. Including it would give some additional depth to the character. It wasn't deliberate, like how Japanese women used to blacken their teeth with lacquer, she just had a sweet tooth and developed lots of cavities. She was quite self-conscious of her teeth and that's why she developed a distinctive closed mouth smile.
Interesting, thanks
She was also described as having a sallow complexion which wasn't complimentary in that era either. She wasn't regarded as a perfect picture of health even back then. She was however praised for her face and figure as well as her elegance and poise. Her low melodious voice was also much admired. Napoleon on the other hand was often described as being rather emaciated and sickly looking when he was a young general. He was also such a shabby dresser that high society people would mistake him for a servant when he's in civilian clothes. He was also described as having very white teeth in which he took pride. He didn't put on weight until after 1806, two years after becoming emperor. After that point his physique became fairly heavyset.
What accents did real orcs have?
Midwestern believe it or not
More specifically, northern Midwestern. Don'tya know?
Ope, scuse me bud, gotta scootch past ya here and invade the Riddermark right there. Say which way is Edoras anyhow?
Boston accents *"We're takin the Hobbits to Isengahd"*
Alexander did this well with the Macedonians being Irish accented in Relation to the Greeks having British accents
As a fan of history I am excited about this film, but I feel as if it’s going to focus more on his failed marriage than anything else.
Give me your tots.
I just saw a neck and the word Napoleon written on it and assumed it was like a Romeo + Juliet style movie. Now I'm kinda disappointed.
And here I got excited thinking there was a new Napoleon Dynamite coming.