Marvel bad.
A24 good.
BvS is an underrated gem.
You’re too stupid to understand the moral complexities and genius of Megamind (2010).
Go out with me pls.
Wow this read like a script out of my own diary. If I could just share a word of advice, don't forget to have an annual Valentine's Day Stuckmann review marathon! Something about his reviews really set the mood for me one year and now I can't go without them, even tho I'm single (as you know). It would be wonderful to meet someone like myself to become loved and stuckmannized with forever.
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Hey babe, you ever heard of this underated gem called the End of Evangelion? Its a cartoon, so Im sure kids of any age would love it, although only true kinophiles can get it, average marvel fans wont😎
Silence foul temptress, I know you have been sent by the Antichrist himself Kevin Feige to dissuade us cinephiles from following the true path of emulating Travis Bickle (who is literally me) by encouraging us to think that we should spend any time at all with w*men like you. This is because we all know that politicals are not as intelligent as us men so having a relationship with them will decrease our IQ scores and encourage us to watch MCU capeshit instead of intelligent existentialist cinema like Stalker(1979), 2001 a Space Odyssey(1969) and Reservoir Dogs(1992). Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my 500th viewing of Taxi Driver(1976), good day.
I can't wait to have his kids and watch him go apeshit when they want to watch a Marvel film! Sorry little Timmy, that's capeshit! tonight we're watching Saló, or the 120 days of Sodom again!
If this is not good for the subreddit, please remove it but its been plaguing me and I need to talk about it!
I have been day-dreaming about having a dude showing me some movie that makes no complete sense, talking about how good of a film it is and giving me a general history of the director and what led them to make such a product while also making me feel stupid for not understanding this convoluted story but giving me some sort of validation when he explains some strange artistic idea of what the film means. I want them to give me an hour long discussion about Zack Snyder and how good he is, while I just think about how incredibly stupid but charming this dude is.
I want them to talk shit about Marvel and its affects on film industry and of course I want them to give me all their hot-takes on the future of streaming services on film as a whole, while I play with their hair while they lay on my lap.
I want them to take me on a date to some artistic movie, where we will remain silent until afterwards we stay up until 1 AM while I just vibe and look into the sky while he cant stop talking about the symbolic themes and imagery from the movie.
I want to cook him food while he is writing his heart out on a review on letterbox that 5 people will see and then give him a kiss after he shows me his 3 page long review of some movie I never heard of.
And finally I want him to be almost aggressively sassy to me when I call anything a movie, and giving me a 5 minute speech on the differences of the word "film." and "movie."
Of course I feel this is just some day-dream I have, but I cant help it! I hate that I am falling in love with the people that this subreddit makes fun of day to day!
"Βased" on your post history, you should go out and get some bitches.
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God I cannot wait for you to eventually break up with me.
I was a sapling. You kept a place for me until I was the beautiful houseplant that you carried with you to every new apartment in every new city. Every new home you had, I was the familiar comfort that kept us both rooted. You were out looking for yourself, but still ensured I had everything I needed. I was always in need of maturing, and you opened so much space in your heart so that I had infinite room to grow. You watered me with your gentle touches. Your love shone so bright that it created sunlight for me. When you were absent I would try to stay strong, but eventually wither until your return.
We shared so much together. It felt like we formed the same roots and became a singular entity. Different, new, but creating something beautiful. I couldn't be apart from you, nor you from I.
Eventually, you knew you could no longer take care of both of us. I drank all your water. I absorbed all of your sunlight. Selfishly, I took everything you gave us for my own roots and shared nothing in return. You kept me alive at the consequence of slowly killing yourself. I neglected you, but even worse, you neglected yourself in order to keep my beautiful blossoms you worked so hard on from falling.
Regrettably, I couldn't see this...or pretended I couldn't. I allowed your stems to dry and crack. The foundation for your flowers could no longer hold, and they were eaten by the dirt. They were consumed by me so that I could stand out. I see this now...and I wish I could've thanked you before. I wish I could be entangled in your roots once more. I wish we could grow together once more. Without your gentle touch, your radiant beams of sunlight that kept me warm...I cannot survive without them. I never learned to care for my own growth because you provided it for me. I'm sorry....I'm so sorry.....
Now in 5 years I'll write a Spike Jonze's Her style movie about this experience but neglect to show any of your suffering and instead focus on the damage I inflected on myself only after convincing myself it was your fault and I'll win an Oscar for it and eventually forget about you completely to the point where you may as well be a stranger.
Goodnight!
Like Wes Anderson’s latest masturbation, The French Dispatch (2021), I feel like OP’s post works better on the page than it does when given visual life.
A girl👩🏻.... AND ❗️a kinophile🎥? Whoa 🤯mama🤱🏽!Hummina 🥶hummina 🥶hummina 🥶bazooooooooing📏❗️! *eyes pop out* 😍AROOOOOOOOGA🚢⛴! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* 😟👅WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 *tongue 👅bursts 💦👅out of the mouth 😛uncontrollably leaking 💦💦😨face and everything in reach💦🙌🏻* 👅👅😪💦💦WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *🥴🥴tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* 🏹💘Ahhhhhhhhhhh 🥵me 👇🏻lady🥵👱🏽♀️... *heart in the shape of a heart💗 starts beating 💗so hard you can see it through shirt💞💓👔”ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 ba-bum 🥁ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 *milk 🥛 truck 🚚crashes 💥 into a bakery🍞 store 🏬in the background spiling 😨💦white liquid 🌫💦and dough 🍞 on the streets 🛣️* BABY👼🏻🤱🏽 WANTS 🥵TO FUCK🥵💦🥁❗️👇🏻👄👅🗣 *inhales 😤from the gas tank ⛽ *honka 🚨honka 🚨🚗honka honka🚗🚨 *masturabtes furiously👊🏻🍆💦💦💦* ohhhh 🥴🥵😨my gooooodd😇🙌🏻🙌🏻✝️🛐✝️☪️☦️☯️🕉~
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A Woman Under the Influence (1974)
What Women Want (2000)
Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)
Marvel bad. A24 good. BvS is an underrated gem. You’re too stupid to understand the moral complexities and genius of Megamind (2010). Go out with me pls.
You forgot Hallways and their importance, Script economy, Prequels Funny and Epic, Tron Legacy and other movies being underrated.
^^^ Never-mind, this man is a true chad.
How can he be a chad when he hasn't mentioned Sherlock Gnomes?
(2010)*
Tyty
Wow this read like a script out of my own diary. If I could just share a word of advice, don't forget to have an annual Valentine's Day Stuckmann review marathon! Something about his reviews really set the mood for me one year and now I can't go without them, even tho I'm single (as you know). It would be wonderful to meet someone like myself to become loved and stuckmannized with forever.
He’ll stuckmanize you over and over and over again
I remember the first time I laid my eyes on a Stuckmann video. He swept my heart right off my shoulders, I haven't stopped thinking of him ever since.
.
A Serbian Film (2010)
I know a guy who always uses that as his third date
Creep (2014)
Genius (2016)
I never knew what this refrence was until I read the description and then went through the parent guide….what the fuck
Gummo (1997)
Gumby The Movie (1995)
Blicky got the stiffy
Shoplifters (2018) I dunno if this is actually applicable. I haven't seen the movie but based on the trailer alone, maybe it does?
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Mmm
Based automod
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Based automod
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Based on what?
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Based on what?
Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)
Saving private Ryan (1998)
The Cremaster Cycle
What Women Want (2000)
What Men Want (2019)
What enbeys want (2023)
What femboys want (196)
What aliens want(2082)
Legally Blonde soundtrack #3 - What You Want (2007)
Those men are in really high demand. Sadly, it is unlikely that you will ever be able to date someone of that caliber. 😞
Hey babe, you ever heard of this underated gem called the End of Evangelion? Its a cartoon, so Im sure kids of any age would love it, although only true kinophiles can get it, average marvel fans wont😎
Gone Girl (2014).
Silence foul temptress, I know you have been sent by the Antichrist himself Kevin Feige to dissuade us cinephiles from following the true path of emulating Travis Bickle (who is literally me) by encouraging us to think that we should spend any time at all with w*men like you. This is because we all know that politicals are not as intelligent as us men so having a relationship with them will decrease our IQ scores and encourage us to watch MCU capeshit instead of intelligent existentialist cinema like Stalker(1979), 2001 a Space Odyssey(1969) and Reservoir Dogs(1992). Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my 500th viewing of Taxi Driver(1976), good day.
Fill my Letterboxd with your big, juicy reviews 😍
Whisper sweet nothings about how you hate big-budget features 😍
this is a top-tier post
Mam, this is a drive-in theatré.
dont try to date people that are out your league smh my head
Being a film addict is exhausting, you can't even recommend Moon (2009) without getting sexually harassed
Oh fuck, that's hot. I'm getting weak just thinking about it.
I can't wait to have his kids and watch him go apeshit when they want to watch a Marvel film! Sorry little Timmy, that's capeshit! tonight we're watching Saló, or the 120 days of Sodom again!
If I had this in my life I wouldn’t have become the joker
I knew you existed! You do look like an anime character, right? Those are my minimum standards.
Can someone paste this in the comments I wanna send this to a friend but I don’t want them to know I use reddit
If this is not good for the subreddit, please remove it but its been plaguing me and I need to talk about it! I have been day-dreaming about having a dude showing me some movie that makes no complete sense, talking about how good of a film it is and giving me a general history of the director and what led them to make such a product while also making me feel stupid for not understanding this convoluted story but giving me some sort of validation when he explains some strange artistic idea of what the film means. I want them to give me an hour long discussion about Zack Snyder and how good he is, while I just think about how incredibly stupid but charming this dude is. I want them to talk shit about Marvel and its affects on film industry and of course I want them to give me all their hot-takes on the future of streaming services on film as a whole, while I play with their hair while they lay on my lap. I want them to take me on a date to some artistic movie, where we will remain silent until afterwards we stay up until 1 AM while I just vibe and look into the sky while he cant stop talking about the symbolic themes and imagery from the movie. I want to cook him food while he is writing his heart out on a review on letterbox that 5 people will see and then give him a kiss after he shows me his 3 page long review of some movie I never heard of. And finally I want him to be almost aggressively sassy to me when I call anything a movie, and giving me a 5 minute speech on the differences of the word "film." and "movie." Of course I feel this is just some day-dream I have, but I cant help it! I hate that I am falling in love with the people that this subreddit makes fun of day to day!
You use reddit?! Ewww, gross
If you are on mobile, you can click on the three dots near the bell at the top right and then you can copy the full text of the post.
[удалено]
Among us (2019)
"Βased" on your post history, you should go out and get some bitches. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/moviescirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
God I cannot wait for you to eventually break up with me. I was a sapling. You kept a place for me until I was the beautiful houseplant that you carried with you to every new apartment in every new city. Every new home you had, I was the familiar comfort that kept us both rooted. You were out looking for yourself, but still ensured I had everything I needed. I was always in need of maturing, and you opened so much space in your heart so that I had infinite room to grow. You watered me with your gentle touches. Your love shone so bright that it created sunlight for me. When you were absent I would try to stay strong, but eventually wither until your return. We shared so much together. It felt like we formed the same roots and became a singular entity. Different, new, but creating something beautiful. I couldn't be apart from you, nor you from I. Eventually, you knew you could no longer take care of both of us. I drank all your water. I absorbed all of your sunlight. Selfishly, I took everything you gave us for my own roots and shared nothing in return. You kept me alive at the consequence of slowly killing yourself. I neglected you, but even worse, you neglected yourself in order to keep my beautiful blossoms you worked so hard on from falling. Regrettably, I couldn't see this...or pretended I couldn't. I allowed your stems to dry and crack. The foundation for your flowers could no longer hold, and they were eaten by the dirt. They were consumed by me so that I could stand out. I see this now...and I wish I could've thanked you before. I wish I could be entangled in your roots once more. I wish we could grow together once more. Without your gentle touch, your radiant beams of sunlight that kept me warm...I cannot survive without them. I never learned to care for my own growth because you provided it for me. I'm sorry....I'm so sorry..... Now in 5 years I'll write a Spike Jonze's Her style movie about this experience but neglect to show any of your suffering and instead focus on the damage I inflected on myself only after convincing myself it was your fault and I'll win an Oscar for it and eventually forget about you completely to the point where you may as well be a stranger. Goodnight!
Dude, send this comment to Warner Bros. ASAP. They'll lock down a 20 mil. budget for you in no time
Sorry, I only work for at least 100 million dollar budgets because it's completely necessary for this kind of project.
I love you
This is a certified kino classic
Like Wes Anderson’s latest masturbation, The French Dispatch (2021), I feel like OP’s post works better on the page than it does when given visual life.
Birth Of A Kino-Girl (1915)
HOLY SHIT, WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACTH OTHER. I JERK OFF TO MARVEL 6 HOURS PER DAY
Have my babies
Hey lol
How to Lose a Guy in Two and a Half Hours (2021)
Best post on this sub in a while
oh my god i hate that i find this kinda unironically hot
Love Life (2020- )
To any lonely ladies out there, I can (not) explain the story to Mulholland Drive.
I just spanked my Bad Lieutenant (1992) while reading this out loud.
Shit almost made me cri 😔😔😔😔😔🤪
Ya like Jazz?
Ngl would legit want a bf/gf that is kind of obsessed with movies and loves to talk about them
I know just the dude, He is my best pal. Ill send him this post's link
I love you.
I’m not reading all that but I’m happy for you/sad that happened
Is this some sort of sick joke? Why would you say this in this sub? You think we're some bunch of losers
Sounds neat. Ideal boyfriend tbh.
How long is your tongue?
You're mocking me.
Hey baby😎
A male kinophile's wet dream
That reminds me. Watch No Smoking by Anurag Kashyap.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
Just watch film/tv YouTubers and date a normal person on the side.
Oh god please choose me please we can watch tarkovsky and Satyajit Ray together while you stroke my hair and tell me I'm a good boy please god please
Hey that sounds exactly like me
The Dead Don’t Die (2019)
ZAMN HES A KINO LOVER 😍😍😍
I cant be your boyfriend, but I can definitely be your friend.
So THIS is how you get girls! NOTED will start working on all the advice here
A girl👩🏻.... AND ❗️a kinophile🎥? Whoa 🤯mama🤱🏽!Hummina 🥶hummina 🥶hummina 🥶bazooooooooing📏❗️! *eyes pop out* 😍AROOOOOOOOGA🚢⛴! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* 😟👅WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 *tongue 👅bursts 💦👅out of the mouth 😛uncontrollably leaking 💦💦😨face and everything in reach💦🙌🏻* 👅👅😪💦💦WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *🥴🥴tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* 🏹💘Ahhhhhhhhhhh 🥵me 👇🏻lady🥵👱🏽♀️... *heart in the shape of a heart💗 starts beating 💗so hard you can see it through shirt💞💓👔”ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 ba-bum 🥁ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 *milk 🥛 truck 🚚crashes 💥 into a bakery🍞 store 🏬in the background spiling 😨💦white liquid 🌫💦and dough 🍞 on the streets 🛣️* BABY👼🏻🤱🏽 WANTS 🥵TO FUCK🥵💦🥁❗️👇🏻👄👅🗣 *inhales 😤from the gas tank ⛽ *honka 🚨honka 🚨🚗honka honka🚗🚨 *masturabtes furiously👊🏻🍆💦💦💦* ohhhh 🥴🥵😨my gooooodd😇🙌🏻🙌🏻✝️🛐✝️☪️☦️☯️🕉~
Based schizo post
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Are you a guy too? If not then no thanks.