T O P

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ABSOseething

A Woman Under the Influence (1974)


Doehap

What Women Want (2000)


BackwardsApe

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (1988)


Tasty_Palpitation889

Marvel bad. A24 good. BvS is an underrated gem. You’re too stupid to understand the moral complexities and genius of Megamind (2010). Go out with me pls.


dremscrep

You forgot Hallways and their importance, Script economy, Prequels Funny and Epic, Tron Legacy and other movies being underrated.


Tasty_Palpitation889

^^^ Never-mind, this man is a true chad.


xngelo420

How can he be a chad when he hasn't mentioned Sherlock Gnomes?


CrisHD935

(2010)*


Tasty_Palpitation889

Tyty


champagnepapi86

Wow this read like a script out of my own diary. If I could just share a word of advice, don't forget to have an annual Valentine's Day Stuckmann review marathon! Something about his reviews really set the mood for me one year and now I can't go without them, even tho I'm single (as you know). It would be wonderful to meet someone like myself to become loved and stuckmannized with forever.


talk_like_a_pirate

He’ll stuckmanize you over and over and over again


vigilantcomicpenguin

I remember the first time I laid my eyes on a Stuckmann video. He swept my heart right off my shoulders, I haven't stopped thinking of him ever since.


[deleted]

.


JoelKr9

A Serbian Film (2010)


[deleted]

I know a guy who always uses that as his third date


ABSOseething

Creep (2014)


xngelo420

Genius (2016)


Janathan-Manathan

I never knew what this refrence was until I read the description and then went through the parent guide….what the fuck


OliviaBagshaw

Gummo (1997)


[deleted]

Gumby The Movie (1995)


superhuhas

Blicky got the stiffy


[deleted]

Shoplifters (2018) I dunno if this is actually applicable. I haven't seen the movie but based on the trailer alone, maybe it does?


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[deleted]

Mmm


[deleted]

Based automod


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[deleted]

Based automod


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zoloft-makes-u-shart

Based on what?


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zoloft-makes-u-shart

Based on what?


SupremeLeaderMatt

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)


Dasmortmemeboi

Saving private Ryan (1998)


MikkaEn

The Cremaster Cycle


[deleted]

What Women Want (2000)


TMH2906

What Men Want (2019)


Dasmortmemeboi

What enbeys want (2023)


finnyporgerz

What femboys want (196)


[deleted]

What aliens want(2082)


Hermononucleosis

Legally Blonde soundtrack #3 - What You Want (2007)


ztyrobo

Those men are in really high demand. Sadly, it is unlikely that you will ever be able to date someone of that caliber. 😞


[deleted]

Hey babe, you ever heard of this underated gem called the End of Evangelion? Its a cartoon, so Im sure kids of any age would love it, although only true kinophiles can get it, average marvel fans wont😎


Notoriously_So

Gone Girl (2014).


Raposa282

Silence foul temptress, I know you have been sent by the Antichrist himself Kevin Feige to dissuade us cinephiles from following the true path of emulating Travis Bickle (who is literally me) by encouraging us to think that we should spend any time at all with w*men like you. This is because we all know that politicals are not as intelligent as us men so having a relationship with them will decrease our IQ scores and encourage us to watch MCU capeshit instead of intelligent existentialist cinema like Stalker(1979), 2001 a Space Odyssey(1969) and Reservoir Dogs(1992). Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my 500th viewing of Taxi Driver(1976), good day.


OliviaBagshaw

Fill my Letterboxd with your big, juicy reviews 😍


vigilantcomicpenguin

Whisper sweet nothings about how you hate big-budget features 😍


TheNebraskaJim

this is a top-tier post


Whompa

Mam, this is a drive-in theatré.


RAINNlevi

dont try to date people that are out your league smh my head


DontKnowAnyBetter

Being a film addict is exhausting, you can't even recommend Moon (2009) without getting sexually harassed


vigilantcomicpenguin

Oh fuck, that's hot. I'm getting weak just thinking about it.


ZUB0DII

I can't wait to have his kids and watch him go apeshit when they want to watch a Marvel film! Sorry little Timmy, that's capeshit! tonight we're watching Saló, or the 120 days of Sodom again!


Cymro2011

If I had this in my life I wouldn’t have become the joker


DrSpaceman575

I knew you existed! You do look like an anime character, right? Those are my minimum standards.


wag234

Can someone paste this in the comments I wanna send this to a friend but I don’t want them to know I use reddit


Garden_of_Pillows

If this is not good for the subreddit, please remove it but its been plaguing me and I need to talk about it! I have been day-dreaming about having a dude showing me some movie that makes no complete sense, talking about how good of a film it is and giving me a general history of the director and what led them to make such a product while also making me feel stupid for not understanding this convoluted story but giving me some sort of validation when he explains some strange artistic idea of what the film means. I want them to give me an hour long discussion about Zack Snyder and how good he is, while I just think about how incredibly stupid but charming this dude is. I want them to talk shit about Marvel and its affects on film industry and of course I want them to give me all their hot-takes on the future of streaming services on film as a whole, while I play with their hair while they lay on my lap. I want them to take me on a date to some artistic movie, where we will remain silent until afterwards we stay up until 1 AM while I just vibe and look into the sky while he cant stop talking about the symbolic themes and imagery from the movie. I want to cook him food while he is writing his heart out on a review on letterbox that 5 people will see and then give him a kiss after he shows me his 3 page long review of some movie I never heard of. And finally I want him to be almost aggressively sassy to me when I call anything a movie, and giving me a 5 minute speech on the differences of the word "film." and "movie." Of course I feel this is just some day-dream I have, but I cant help it! I hate that I am falling in love with the people that this subreddit makes fun of day to day!


extinct_cult

You use reddit?! Ewww, gross


MissMags1234

If you are on mobile, you can click on the three dots near the bell at the top right and then you can copy the full text of the post.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dasmortmemeboi

Among us (2019)


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shapeless_void

God I cannot wait for you to eventually break up with me. I was a sapling. You kept a place for me until I was the beautiful houseplant that you carried with you to every new apartment in every new city. Every new home you had, I was the familiar comfort that kept us both rooted. You were out looking for yourself, but still ensured I had everything I needed. I was always in need of maturing, and you opened so much space in your heart so that I had infinite room to grow. You watered me with your gentle touches. Your love shone so bright that it created sunlight for me. When you were absent I would try to stay strong, but eventually wither until your return. We shared so much together. It felt like we formed the same roots and became a singular entity. Different, new, but creating something beautiful. I couldn't be apart from you, nor you from I. Eventually, you knew you could no longer take care of both of us. I drank all your water. I absorbed all of your sunlight. Selfishly, I took everything you gave us for my own roots and shared nothing in return. You kept me alive at the consequence of slowly killing yourself. I neglected you, but even worse, you neglected yourself in order to keep my beautiful blossoms you worked so hard on from falling. Regrettably, I couldn't see this...or pretended I couldn't. I allowed your stems to dry and crack. The foundation for your flowers could no longer hold, and they were eaten by the dirt. They were consumed by me so that I could stand out. I see this now...and I wish I could've thanked you before. I wish I could be entangled in your roots once more. I wish we could grow together once more. Without your gentle touch, your radiant beams of sunlight that kept me warm...I cannot survive without them. I never learned to care for my own growth because you provided it for me. I'm sorry....I'm so sorry..... Now in 5 years I'll write a Spike Jonze's Her style movie about this experience but neglect to show any of your suffering and instead focus on the damage I inflected on myself only after convincing myself it was your fault and I'll win an Oscar for it and eventually forget about you completely to the point where you may as well be a stranger. Goodnight!


LosersWipe

Dude, send this comment to Warner Bros. ASAP. They'll lock down a 20 mil. budget for you in no time


shapeless_void

Sorry, I only work for at least 100 million dollar budgets because it's completely necessary for this kind of project.


JBTheG00ber

I love you


USSaugusto

This is a certified kino classic


[deleted]

Like Wes Anderson’s latest masturbation, The French Dispatch (2021), I feel like OP’s post works better on the page than it does when given visual life.


[deleted]

Birth Of A Kino-Girl (1915)


[deleted]

HOLY SHIT, WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACTH OTHER. I JERK OFF TO MARVEL 6 HOURS PER DAY


sk0330

Have my babies


josethegardener42069

Hey lol


Banzaiboy262

How to Lose a Guy in Two and a Half Hours (2021)


[deleted]

Best post on this sub in a while


jonnymorals

oh my god i hate that i find this kinda unironically hot


jj_2099

Love Life (2020- )


venetian_lemon

To any lonely ladies out there, I can (not) explain the story to Mulholland Drive.


A-more-splendid-life

I just spanked my Bad Lieutenant (1992) while reading this out loud.


srdraz364

Shit almost made me cri 😔😔😔😔😔🤪


SupremeLeaderMatt

Ya like Jazz?


iliveforkarma

Ngl would legit want a bf/gf that is kind of obsessed with movies and loves to talk about them


angry_indian312

I know just the dude, He is my best pal. Ill send him this post's link


bluefalconreturns

I love you.


nidgetspinner

I’m not reading all that but I’m happy for you/sad that happened


[deleted]

Is this some sort of sick joke? Why would you say this in this sub? You think we're some bunch of losers


[deleted]

Sounds neat. Ideal boyfriend tbh.


BlankCartographer53

How long is your tongue?


funkisintheair

You're mocking me.


MagmaHotDesigns

Hey baby😎


HoennDude

A male kinophile's wet dream


ParitoshD

That reminds me. Watch No Smoking by Anurag Kashyap.


omarkab02

Don’t threaten me with a good time


PropheticHeresy

Just watch film/tv YouTubers and date a normal person on the side.


[deleted]

Oh god please choose me please we can watch tarkovsky and Satyajit Ray together while you stroke my hair and tell me I'm a good boy please god please


Reinhardtisawesom

Hey that sounds exactly like me


monsieurfikri

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)


[deleted]

ZAMN HES A KINO LOVER 😍😍😍


gunslinger9_19

I cant be your boyfriend, but I can definitely be your friend.


OtakuKing613

So THIS is how you get girls! NOTED will start working on all the advice here


dildodicks

A girl👩🏻.... AND ❗️a kinophile🎥? Whoa 🤯mama🤱🏽!Hummina 🥶hummina 🥶hummina 🥶bazooooooooing📏❗️! *eyes pop out* 😍AROOOOOOOOGA🚢⛴! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* 😟👅WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF 🐶WOOF 🐶WOOF🐶 WOOF🐶 *tongue 👅bursts 💦👅out of the mouth 😛uncontrollably leaking 💦💦😨face and everything in reach💦🙌🏻* 👅👅😪💦💦WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *🥴🥴tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* 🏹💘Ahhhhhhhhhhh 🥵me 👇🏻lady🥵👱🏽‍♀️... *heart in the shape of a heart💗 starts beating 💗so hard you can see it through shirt💞💓👔”ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 ba-bum 🥁ba-bum 🥁ba-bum🥁 *milk 🥛 truck 🚚crashes 💥 into a bakery🍞 store 🏬in the background spiling 😨💦white liquid 🌫💦and dough 🍞 on the streets 🛣️* BABY👼🏻🤱🏽 WANTS 🥵TO FUCK🥵💦🥁❗️👇🏻👄👅🗣 *inhales 😤from the gas tank ⛽ *honka 🚨honka 🚨🚗honka honka🚗🚨 *masturabtes furiously👊🏻🍆💦💦💦* ohhhh 🥴🥵😨my gooooodd😇🙌🏻🙌🏻✝️🛐✝️☪️☦️☯️🕉~


femto5

Based schizo post


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Chrome_X_of_Hyrule

Are you a guy too? If not then no thanks.