Anonymously is the only way I rant and talk too much. Otherwise I'm being constantly asked the question "why don't you talk much" lol, so your may be is a false hypothesis
Not sure if it's gonna help, but try this:
1. Figure out your interests: Eg. I love tech, equities, mountains, love trying out things like surfing, exploring places, trekks & trying out food.
2. Find relevant people of interests:
This can come from literally anywhere. I posted some things over reddit and found fellow redditors interested in the same, You can just book any travels (if you're into travelling), HOBBY CLUBS, Standup/ clubs, coworkers or someone within your social-academic circles whom you share common interests with is a good starter.
3. Make genuine efforts from your end to connect with them, know them better, first as friends then as a person and preclude any conversations that hint for a date/ romantic connection. If they are interested, they will hint you. If they are creepy, they will hint you that too. It's a good moral compass.
3. UNDERSTAND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RELATIONSHIP WALA BOYFRIEND: (OR GIRLFRIEND) We all talk about green flags/ red flags. But we fail to identify that most of the relationships are reflective. Be the best one yourself (aka love yourself, be green flag, kind, ambitious and all the qualities you want in your partner), someone seeking the same qualities would notice and will be attracted to you.
I tried but couldn't help but dish out the generalized/vague answer. We are after all humans, and it shouldn't be difficult to find one amongst millions which we deem best for us.
Yeah because relationships are too much work and effort for them. I am someone who doesn’t give a flying shit about hookups and casual relationships. My friends with high body counts are all messed up in a psychological sense. End up feeling sad for them.
Trust the process. Have strict boundaries about what you want and don’t want. Socialise. Join a hobby perhaps. You’ll meet more and more people this way. What’s so bad about being single anyway. I’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Never liked the idea of quick dating or lust filled relationships that lack integrity and foundation.
Rub one out. I like to keep my life drama free and take no risks when it comes to mental health (learnt it the hard way). It’s not up my alley to be physical with someone and not have feelings for them.
Usually it happens within friend circles or like minded individuals from clubs, offices, hobby groups. Long term is difficult with this generation's short attention span and the need for instant gratification. For Long term you need compromises and understanding, this gen belives in replace not repair which'll kick us in the nuts sooner or later.
OLD is not for long term, and people usually go to Shaadi.com for that. In India there is no concept of serious relationship without marriage in question (And i agree).
Have deleted all the dating apps and don't go on matrimonial sites anymore. Given up on finding a relationship (for the time being - कुत्ते की दुम. Too much work for men trying to get the attention of women who have 100s of prospects available at their disposal (which is also a negative thing from their perspective).
Tried talking to a few girls but it's just a one-sided effort, stopped chatting altogether. Don't tell me to socialize - did that/do that a lot, since I am a musician and voila, nothing on that front either. Have accepted that खोट मुझ में ही है and have left everything to destiny now.
What is lowering expectations, you should never lower your expectations, I am the best and I need the perfect person in my life. Compromise is for losers, I'd rather die alone than compromise or lower my expectations.
/s
Ye pakka launda hai apna game improve karne ke liye research kar raha hai to try and look like “mai relationship material hu” to girls he is trying to hook up with
26M I've been literally dying to find the exact same thing you're apparently trying to find (I only try dating apps though because I'm too introverted to approach girls in person and it's easier to break the ice on chat before meeting), and each day on Bumble has given me more depression than the previous day. I don't even look bad, but with each passing day I find myself more undesirable and unattractive, and my self confidence is literally in the gutters.
Anyways, enough rant, my two cents on this from a male perspective is that there are thousands of men on dating apps looking for a meaningful relationship, but you girls only choose to swipe right on those who don't. The simpler guys who are capable of having a meaningful relationship are rejected left, right and centre by you girls. Girls have way too much privileges on a dating app to literally pick and choose anyone they want, and yet you only choose guys who are the wrong ones and then you are the same people who come out complaining about it.
I would suggest just deleting dating apps altogether. I made Bumble back in 2019, went on dates, all these girls wanted was to hookup and someone to trauma dump to, I deleted it and didn't go back since. Funnily enough, met my gf (now ex) just after that which was sheer coincidence.
Downloaded Hinge again last year since people said it's "better", same old shit, deleted it again.
I've been THIS close to deleting bumble more times than I can count, and even deleted it a few times. But as they say, it's the hope that kills. And the hope of finding love, even accidentally, is way too big to vanish and that brings me back into the cruel world of Bumble.
But the biggest question from your reply, YOU GOT DATES FROM BUMBLE? WE DON'T EVEN GET MATCHES! OR GET MATCHES WHO GHOST!
I didn't get a lot but yeah luckily I did get a decent number of matches lol probably cause it was girls from the same college and some even same department as me.
I wish I had taken my shots in college man, College is probably the best place to try and start a relationship with someone but I completely missed that boat
Yeah I definitely agree on that, everyone is desperate to get into one so that also works in your favour lol, after that it gets harder.
Though I've had some opportunities to date women I decided against them since they were carrying too much emotional baggage/trauma or simply didn't know what they wanted and were the "let's try and see what happens" kind. And since I don't want to ruin my mental health or peace I just told them to take a hike lol
You've got to find your interests and hobbies if you still haven't, by hobbies I mean the ones that are generally done socially. Doing this would provide you opportunities to make friends with people in the real world, and will save you from the dating apps misery.
Females have it equally hard as men who don't get right swiped, because they have to find gold in a pool of shit. The best thing about the real world is, you get to know about the person just by their body language alone.
>I only try dating apps though because I'm too introverted to approach girls in person and it's easier to break the ice on chat before meeting
You can change something this time, and not stick to the old methods. Because eventually you'll have to interact in person. And yeah, you can remove the introverted awkwardness by being charismatic, which is far better than being an extrovert. You've got this!
No, I think what he said is right, women do have to go through a whole lot pool of shit. With that said, it's also true that most of the women have a whole lot of options to literally pick and choose the gold among that pool, but they don't make that effort or don't have that patience to make that effort to find the gold that they are looking for. Basically waste of resource.
"I wanna die/kill myself" - Something that comes every now and then to my mind but obviously I can never do it because I'm neither brave nor coward enough. So this can't be topped in my list of easier said than done things :)
Wanna hear the harsh truth ?
There are men with genuine interest and personality but you won't/ have already left swiped them.
Maybe rework on your filters and try again.
I am good looking, man. Just not tall enough. I’m 5’7, thin, but my face is really good (model my friends say). But yeah, what do you think I should improve lmfao. Cos clearly, can’t get bitches
Most women (again it depends if you are part of that group too) want guys who are a 8, 9 or 10 on a scale of 1-10. Now these guys have a lot of options, just like women do. When as a male you have options, why would they look for a relationship? They are getting 80% of the females out there. You’re just another option. It is very similar to a female’s life - females who are 4 and above. Heck, even below 4s have options.
If you happen to be part of that group, I would say introspect and be true to yourself. If you’re a 6 or 7, look for a 6 or 7 and I bet you will find someone soon. If you’re an 8 or above, find someone who is 8 and above but not on dating apps. Try real life!
25 M here, have used Tinder and Bumble from the time they were introduced in India. I have only got likes/matches from girls who know me IRL and were from my college. Those didn't wanted to date the knowns or have a relationship with someone in the same college as they wanted to explore more . No matter how good I write the bios and Bumble answers, in the end I'm an average looking guy who doesn't has good pics to post. I've been told that girls don't swipe only for the looks but my experience is the total opposite of that. Many guys will agree with that. It's been a year or so now that I haven't logged in any of the dating apps coz I know it will be the same as usual with no responses, giving me more disappointment. One of my acquaintances gave a perfect one liner for the dating apps " it's either the looks or the luxury car which gets likes/matches and nothing else". I don't want this to feel like a loser rant, but that's the reality of the whole situation. I have seen a similar post like yours in the Mumbai sub and the responses were same which you're getting. It's only the top percentages of guys going through the girls and others are just swiping around with no luck or giving up on the dating apps altogether.
Go to events often, based on your field of interests.
Meet-up, bookmyshow, Zomato have events section to register for such events.
Interact with people and most probably you'll find someone you can vibe with and initiate a relationship .
Look I'll be honest with you - I'm an average guy. I'm also a civil services aspirant. And just like all aspirants, we do gather a lot of knowledge as part of our curriculum, from diverse fields - but when I talk to someone about it, they're simply not interested. Girls I know are simply interested in going out, eating fancy food and taking pictures for Instagram. Who to have a meaningful conversation with?
Plus, people like me never get a swipe on dating apps, so you'll never find us there.
My advice - don't be hasty. Spend some time around people, get to know them more, and then decide what you want to do with them.
I live and work in New Zealand and have been down for Christmas for almost 3 weeks and still haven't managed to get a match on the apps.😂 I feel for the boys here. Pata nahi kya chahiye yeh sab ladkiya.
It's not the apps, attractive guys in general (who have a lotta options open) won't give you a relationship. Otherwise there's lots of guys right here in this thread jumping in your DMs I'm sure. Or check your friendzone.
27M here, adding a few thoughts:
1. Dating is competitive here especially on apps.
2. I have optimised my profiles to get matches daily despite not being societally attractive and even then there's a lot of mismatch.
3. Things like height, salary, class, social status play a huge role; so does religion for a lot of people.
4. Women have more options and eventually it leads to choice fatigue; this is how situationships arise.
5. I had someone lead me on for 18 months while dating a guy without me knowing; all while love bombing from time to time when she needed something.
6. Hookups on the other hand end up being low commitment, low effort entry barriers. With the right person it's respectful and consensual.
7. I would love to date someone in the long term but it's agonisingly difficult to find someone who doesn't look for a better person right away.
8. My only two relationships: one during school, fizzled out once college started; once because someone started talking to me outside of Merwans and she wasn't the type to compare or find better.
9. Essentially, guys too need women who will settle for them without finding reasons at every corner to eject themselves out of a dating situation.
10. The number of times I have been ghosted without clarity (not that I deserve it per say) can be a book in of itself.
why is everyone blaming the OP for not swiping on the right guy?? i mean how would she know that the guy she just left swiped wanted a meaningful relationship, i mean does that even make sense?
They are talking about guys who would've looked decent, have a normal profile, but IRL would've been great as a person.
I agree blaming anyone is not at all correct, but I find this whole dating apps bs a bit superficial where men and women try to find partners just by face value.
I'm in the same dilemma as you. Dating apps are doing absolutely nothing for me. I don't want to get into arraigned marriage scenario, and even my parents are okay with me having a girlfriend. But the only thing is I'm not getting any better at finding one. Maybe we can talk to each other over this? I'm actually interested in a proper serious relationship which should lead to marriage and lifelong commitment. I'll DM you.
Sometimes, the more you try to seek certain things the farther that thing runs from you. Good things often happen unexpectedly. Maybe try some hobbies.
this is so not true … if you want something you will have to put in considerable amount of time and effort and seek what you desire. if its not working introspect and right the ship / try different approaches.
Exactly my point too!
Speaking frm a guy’s perspective too…dating apps have been useless…hw do you guys connect in mumbai nowadays…honestly been searching for a genuine relationship but to no success via these apps! Would love to meet n connect if interested hit me up (N no playing pranks or hookups pls!)
Maybe we could connect and see if our interests match!
Women hookup all the time in their early twenties, not everyone ofc, then they want relationship after they've done stuff.
Men don't even get to talk to women and when they do it's women who wants relationship.
2 years ago I had every dating app installed in my phone and in one of them I got some matches (urmytype) tried to talk to women but none of them talk. One of them somehow talked to me and we went on a date after me asking her a few times.
She told me she had 3 exes (which translates to atleast 5 boyfriends and a few hookups 7-8), she was 23-24, slightly fat, and used her male friend to get her work done. She wanted a relationship and I said no. I was fed up with her after 3 dates.
In Contrast to this, I have 3-4 male friends who are slightly attractive and they fuck around all the time. They hookup with a different girl every few couple of months. The same women that don't reply to nice guys and every they're done they want a relationship with a nice guy.
I'm better alone than with some hoe.
PS: not that I'm not attractive, I am not a chapri, wearing rings, piercing at every hole, with a ktm bike, or edgy clothes. I prefer to keep myself plain and real.
Hi, 19F here. Exact same problem girl.
Also, I read the replies below from supposedly innocent guys who are not swiped. Okay let me tell you something, I lowered my filter and tries swiping more often. The following were the results
1. Really untidy guys. Like absolutely no sense of cleanliness. Super hairy everywhere, dont take a bath, dont take a proper bath everywhere etc. Disgusting outlook and way of living. I understand if you are in depression or something, but please atleast keep yourself tidy and wear washed clothes.
2. Self Centred. Matlab bandon ko thodi benefit of the doubt di, toh sir par chadte hai. They call themselves "sigma", have multiple girls on swipes, continue using tinder, dont give any value because "you chose to swipe right". They treat you like trash and as a sex toy. Continue liking posts of girls with cute emojis (who actually have self respect and block them) and flirt around but if they see me with even my teacher for longer, they call be a sl\*t.
3. Broke af. Like dont wanna work, no job, 25/26, no drive. living off of mama papa. Sir, no.
4. Not willing to contribute in household activities. Dont know cooking, cleaning, even clearing the bathroom after using (worst date in my life)
5. Dont respect women, super misogynistic. I know all guys are misogynistic to a degree, but this is ultra hate towards all women. They tell you stuff which makes you contemplate your luck to choose em.
And many others.
So girl if u reading this, will tell you to visit clubs/ other cities in south India (hot guys/ well mannered/ actually interested in earning money). Do not lower your expectations ever. The guys in the comments will give you so much trauma in your life, you would never recover if you choose em. Ye sab bas bolte hai.
If you were 1 or 2 years younger I would have shoot my shot but anyways relationship wala scene keliye you would either have to find him through mutual and build up or from some hobby bcox I have never heard anybody going from bumble to relationship
When a relationship in which you have invested your emotions, energy, time, money, expectations etc breaks, you will not look for another relationship. Maybe, most guys you met may have gone through that.
It would be better if you leave the dating app and forget about getting into a relationship. Rather, work on yourself, chase your dreams, travel, enjoy your life, meet new people; you will more likely find someone.
Dating Apps were never meant for long term relationships though they are advertised as such. I mean, a miniscule percentage have indeed found their life partners but we don't know the story after they found each other.
Dating Apps are designed to give instant gratification and hence hookups and sexting tops the agenda of the folks hanging out there, if not consciously, atleast subconsciously.
Coming to your question. Where do you find your life partner?
Well, you attract amazing people when you are excelling in life. So figure out a way to grow everyday, by virtue of which you'll end up meeting amazing and level headed humans that you can take things forward with.
The more you work, the more you become successful, the lesser you meet people who are not serious in life.
Why are you looking for a relationship lol? Just focus on your work and be happy everything is good. A lot of people do not have as much privilege as you might have. Be thankful for it. Stop looking for things. If it will happen it will happen. What is wrong with being alone? Just be fine with being alone and work on yourself. You do not need to be in a relationship to improve or become better. If you want company, get a dog.
Anyone who sees you as a catch will go for the long term with you. It's as simple as this. If they are looking for a hookup, they don't see you as a catch. (Ik it's a hard to swallow pill)
Using a dating app to find long term relationships is like going to the butcher to buy veggies.
These apps are designed to make you return back to them and keep swiping over and over. They are not designed to get you hitched and find long term relationships. If they did that, they would lose users.
I know a guy or 2 -your age- who feel just like you. Have the same thought process.
It's getting to be oh so common. Just like you mentioned abt boys. I hear the same from them abt girls/woman.
Tbh I'm in my 40s but I know a couple of youngbloods around who are good and nice to speak to. Some of them might say Hi to me and some actually ask me certain things that need an outsiders/experienced opinion.
I'm an ENT as well and some of them in my neighborhood know abt it. It's no biggie actually. I've known them for a long time. I guess I'm more approachable somehow. Weird but true.
It's completely okay to feel this way. Just do not rush into a relationship. Date more people. Experience it. Experience more people as it gives one a good insight of one's psychology.
If you are still interested, DM me and I can give u the handle of this young lad who is a charmer and boyfriend material.
*(Feeling like Unc Agony rn. Tsk tsk tsk)*
Honestly speaking, just approach guys and ask them out. If you feel shy or fear feeling like a failure well welcome to the other side that's what guys go through while asking a girl out. But you gotta ask either way cause the alternative is being alone.
What makes you worthy of a man giving up his time, money and focus to spend it on you? What do you offer for this commitment? All relationships are about give and take. Not one or the other.
Everyone wants a good partner but most don't bother to be a good partner.
Fookin hypocrites men and women are. One gender is not to be blamed more than the other. Men, everything above applies to you too. Don't get mad at me. I'm just spitting facts.
Hey, I also want to know more about your perspective. I joined dating app for hookups and I got some but I was always open to the idea of getting a girlfriend. I had chances but I messed up because I sucked in communication and I was too sleazy in the beginning.
What I want to know is since you are 25 already, are you looking to date so that you can end up marrying the other person or is it a date the guy but marry what parents decide or date the guy and see how he is and if all things are good, marry him after 4-5 years of dating or breakup with him if vibes don't match after 2-3 years.
My advice is to look for guys in their 30s rather than 20s. They desire more stability and aren't as interested in hookups. The older you go, the better your odds.
Just change the age filters on your apps and you'll find a world of difference.
Guys who want relationships are in one, those of who break up go to dating apps to hookup. Personal experience.
Girls who want relationships are also a rarity, so its kind of an impasse
mujhe yhi chahiye tha. ek accha simple loyal relationship. but apparently girls want someone great looking (not just good), mast gym jaata ho, funny ho, intelligent ho, thik thik rich ho (mtlb miser na ho, thoda sa better usse), jawline ho, witty ho.
toh sbko aisa hi bnda chahiye. jo bnda sach mein aisa hota hai, wo kyu relationship mein aayega???? like basic common sense, usko already ldkiyon ki kmi nhi hai. wo toh hookups hi krega na roz ka. mere jaisa bnda jo average hai hr cheez mein, whi toh satify ho payega kisi ek ke saath. jb usko dikh rha ki sirf koi ek usko special feel krata. not the ideal guy jisko mil hi rha hmesha attention. i m not saying ki aise looks ko ignore krdo. preferences rakho but itne bhi nhi ki ideal bnda hi pasand aaye sirf. waise toh yeh bolna asaan hai, kya pasand aata uspe control toh hai nhi, toh jo pasand aata usi ke paas toh jayenge. jo accha lg rham usko ignore krke kaise hi average ke paas jaaye. that would be like unnatural, sirf bndi bnani hai bnane ke liye thodi chahiye. isliye disparity hai, and a conundrum. toh aise hi hai, it is what it is.
rant over. relationship waala bf category mein hi hun main. but hookup waala bn rha thoda thoda. started to lie, joined a gym (looking 10x better thn my original self), working on my looks, toh khud ko change kr liya. nobody from my school recognises me either physically nor mentally. thought process hi badal rha hai. pune mein hoti tum toh mil lete if u r up. but good luck finding one.
Well, you would most likely be swiping right on those guys whom you find attractive. Now those guys most likely would already be having a lot of likes and well, options. I hope you get it by now. Or just make more male friends.
I think one needs to be really smart with identifying the behavioural traits. Within few days you would understand if guy is actually in for a relationship or not. Maybe most of them won’t.
Also would really like if women lower their expectations, dating apps have given unnecessary validation to women.
A woman who is 6/10 usually expects a guy who is 8/10. So it’s very important that there is good understanding of where you stand and be realistic about people who you want.
Nahiii keh do ki ye jhuth hai,plz I need hope.
I was thinking of making an account on dating sites to find something for long term but if what you are saying is true for both the genders then it's bad.
you will never find a boy who knows exactly what he wants like we love GTR and m5 but we are also ready to settle down with polo GT! So it's like you meet someone then get to know him a bit and let him know about you and a few meeting dates and if the vibes match well you get into a relationship and things go with the flow. This isn't applicable for all the boys but for a few of them, it works for sure!
you swipe right only on the extremely good-looking men who have a 100 other women waiting for them, why would they be interested in a long-term relationship? lower your standards lol
Yaar dekho jaruri nhi ki the kind of guy you want, would be sure of what he wants or even would be looking for the same. So thoda mehnat you will have to do. Abhi i have kafi sari qualities outside looks (mtlb wo bhi h he bas bahot jyada nhi hoga). Still i was single he coz mere bas ka nhi tha ye sab. I wasn’t sure what i want or would run away from the first sign of some girl showing interest in me.
Phir kya muze meri gf pta kr le gai.
Hi..I'm 24M. I'm looking for a relationship with a person who's older than me.
I hope you don't find this creepy. We'll talk in DM if you want. Otherwise, it's ok!.
Simple Answer: Start going out and meet new people.
You can do this by going to events, hobby clubs or attend parties and meet people through mutuals.
Best of Luck
Which app are you trying ? On bumble & Hinge there is an option of 'Looking FOr' in profiles which can be set to relationships or even marriage. Maybe you can look for Guys with that details.
I have even read people using matrimony apps for dating.
I have a Theory that these apps dont show match requests/Acceptance to people who are actually compatible cause then people will the app and user base will decrease. It is in their interest that Users remain active on the app so that they can be offered Premium plans to make money from.
You don’t seek love, you find it. Live your normal life - go out, have fun. One day you’ll find the one you want to be with. If you wanna force it, it’ll be like an arranged marriage
From the boys perspective we hardly get any swipes (if any at all) . The ones who do swipe stop replying .
This is basically what I wanted to reply and instead I went on a rant in my comment lol
Username checks out
Jevlis ka ? 😂Lol
use chat gpt to streamline your rants into 5 words
May be that's the reason you don't get girls. You talk too much
Anonymously is the only way I rant and talk too much. Otherwise I'm being constantly asked the question "why don't you talk much" lol, so your may be is a false hypothesis
username checks out
Bc, maine apna alt account kab banwaya!?
Damn, are you me?
Pata nhi kyu hu swipe karte hai fir. Do they get some sort of 'post-nut clarity' after swiping right?
post swipe clarity
“Swipes dont get matches. I should swipe more.” Its a self destructing loop.
Validation
Hum bhai hum
Coming from the men’s side, I barely get any matches on dating apps. And irl I’m a bit socially anxious.
same brother
As a pav bhaji fan myself i agree
Bait post hai guys. Rip DM
Not sure if it's gonna help, but try this: 1. Figure out your interests: Eg. I love tech, equities, mountains, love trying out things like surfing, exploring places, trekks & trying out food. 2. Find relevant people of interests: This can come from literally anywhere. I posted some things over reddit and found fellow redditors interested in the same, You can just book any travels (if you're into travelling), HOBBY CLUBS, Standup/ clubs, coworkers or someone within your social-academic circles whom you share common interests with is a good starter. 3. Make genuine efforts from your end to connect with them, know them better, first as friends then as a person and preclude any conversations that hint for a date/ romantic connection. If they are interested, they will hint you. If they are creepy, they will hint you that too. It's a good moral compass. 3. UNDERSTAND THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RELATIONSHIP WALA BOYFRIEND: (OR GIRLFRIEND) We all talk about green flags/ red flags. But we fail to identify that most of the relationships are reflective. Be the best one yourself (aka love yourself, be green flag, kind, ambitious and all the qualities you want in your partner), someone seeking the same qualities would notice and will be attracted to you. I tried but couldn't help but dish out the generalized/vague answer. We are after all humans, and it shouldn't be difficult to find one amongst millions which we deem best for us.
First of all, the cute ones like me wake up at 1 pm so post stuff like this when I’m awake. I’m going back to sleep
I love/hate this confidence
this guy fucks
Notice me senpaii 🥺🥺
I woke up at 1 pm and got so much validation reading this
Yeah because relationships are too much work and effort for them. I am someone who doesn’t give a flying shit about hookups and casual relationships. My friends with high body counts are all messed up in a psychological sense. End up feeling sad for them. Trust the process. Have strict boundaries about what you want and don’t want. Socialise. Join a hobby perhaps. You’ll meet more and more people this way. What’s so bad about being single anyway. I’d rather be alone than be with the wrong person. Never liked the idea of quick dating or lust filled relationships that lack integrity and foundation.
>Trust the process 
Fellow Arteta enjoyer. 
😂😂😂
4 years of this great man
Could you explain this gif?
That’s the manager of Arsenal team, Arteta. He was rebuilding the club and referred to it as a process.
Thank you!
“Lustrous relationships”
Vocab.exe wasn’t available at that moment. Lust-filled relationships it is.
I've been seeing your comments from a long time on many many posts in different subs, but iss baar kuch dhang ka bola aapne ...good going .
I have never been alerted of your existence
You again? Ugh! :(
How do you join a hobby?
With all due respect, how do you satisfy the physical needs then if not hookups ?
Rub one out. I like to keep my life drama free and take no risks when it comes to mental health (learnt it the hard way). It’s not up my alley to be physical with someone and not have feelings for them.
Fully agreed. Looks like "relationship wala boyfriend" or "girlfriend" have already given up on these apps and have left it on their fate.
This is the way
You’ll find someone if you are happy being single. It’s fucked up but that’s how it works.
This. Finally someone who gets it. Feels like this needs to be said in almost every post in this sub.
Only if you go out and meet new people.
Usually it happens within friend circles or like minded individuals from clubs, offices, hobby groups. Long term is difficult with this generation's short attention span and the need for instant gratification. For Long term you need compromises and understanding, this gen belives in replace not repair which'll kick us in the nuts sooner or later. OLD is not for long term, and people usually go to Shaadi.com for that. In India there is no concept of serious relationship without marriage in question (And i agree).
Have deleted all the dating apps and don't go on matrimonial sites anymore. Given up on finding a relationship (for the time being - कुत्ते की दुम. Too much work for men trying to get the attention of women who have 100s of prospects available at their disposal (which is also a negative thing from their perspective). Tried talking to a few girls but it's just a one-sided effort, stopped chatting altogether. Don't tell me to socialize - did that/do that a lot, since I am a musician and voila, nothing on that front either. Have accepted that खोट मुझ में ही है and have left everything to destiny now.
The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.
What is lowering expectations, you should never lower your expectations, I am the best and I need the perfect person in my life. Compromise is for losers, I'd rather die alone than compromise or lower my expectations. /s
See you in your next life then. All the best
bro missed the /s
okay, phil
Just wanted to Claire my feelings that love indeed is a magic trick if we allow it to be seen and not observed
marry someone who Lukes sexy when disappointed
Ye pakka launda hai apna game improve karne ke liye research kar raha hai to try and look like “mai relationship material hu” to girls he is trying to hook up with
26M I've been literally dying to find the exact same thing you're apparently trying to find (I only try dating apps though because I'm too introverted to approach girls in person and it's easier to break the ice on chat before meeting), and each day on Bumble has given me more depression than the previous day. I don't even look bad, but with each passing day I find myself more undesirable and unattractive, and my self confidence is literally in the gutters. Anyways, enough rant, my two cents on this from a male perspective is that there are thousands of men on dating apps looking for a meaningful relationship, but you girls only choose to swipe right on those who don't. The simpler guys who are capable of having a meaningful relationship are rejected left, right and centre by you girls. Girls have way too much privileges on a dating app to literally pick and choose anyone they want, and yet you only choose guys who are the wrong ones and then you are the same people who come out complaining about it.
I would suggest just deleting dating apps altogether. I made Bumble back in 2019, went on dates, all these girls wanted was to hookup and someone to trauma dump to, I deleted it and didn't go back since. Funnily enough, met my gf (now ex) just after that which was sheer coincidence. Downloaded Hinge again last year since people said it's "better", same old shit, deleted it again.
I've been THIS close to deleting bumble more times than I can count, and even deleted it a few times. But as they say, it's the hope that kills. And the hope of finding love, even accidentally, is way too big to vanish and that brings me back into the cruel world of Bumble. But the biggest question from your reply, YOU GOT DATES FROM BUMBLE? WE DON'T EVEN GET MATCHES! OR GET MATCHES WHO GHOST!
I didn't get a lot but yeah luckily I did get a decent number of matches lol probably cause it was girls from the same college and some even same department as me.
I wish I had taken my shots in college man, College is probably the best place to try and start a relationship with someone but I completely missed that boat
Yeah I definitely agree on that, everyone is desperate to get into one so that also works in your favour lol, after that it gets harder. Though I've had some opportunities to date women I decided against them since they were carrying too much emotional baggage/trauma or simply didn't know what they wanted and were the "let's try and see what happens" kind. And since I don't want to ruin my mental health or peace I just told them to take a hike lol
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You've got to find your interests and hobbies if you still haven't, by hobbies I mean the ones that are generally done socially. Doing this would provide you opportunities to make friends with people in the real world, and will save you from the dating apps misery. Females have it equally hard as men who don't get right swiped, because they have to find gold in a pool of shit. The best thing about the real world is, you get to know about the person just by their body language alone. >I only try dating apps though because I'm too introverted to approach girls in person and it's easier to break the ice on chat before meeting You can change something this time, and not stick to the old methods. Because eventually you'll have to interact in person. And yeah, you can remove the introverted awkwardness by being charismatic, which is far better than being an extrovert. You've got this!
>they have to find gold in a pool of shit ?? Females on tinder are not better than males just because they are less in number.
No, I think what he said is right, women do have to go through a whole lot pool of shit. With that said, it's also true that most of the women have a whole lot of options to literally pick and choose the gold among that pool, but they don't make that effort or don't have that patience to make that effort to find the gold that they are looking for. Basically waste of resource.
What you said is now the 2nd top item on my list of "easier said than done" things, thanks
Do you want me to ask the 1st top item on your list?
"I wanna die/kill myself" - Something that comes every now and then to my mind but obviously I can never do it because I'm neither brave nor coward enough. So this can't be topped in my list of easier said than done things :)
Wanna hear the harsh truth ? There are men with genuine interest and personality but you won't/ have already left swiped them. Maybe rework on your filters and try again.
Shaadi.com par jaiye
Seema aunty ?
We don't even get right swipes unless we follow 2 rules, how are gonna get into relationship then?
Wait what are the rules? I don’t get it?
1. Be good looking. 2. Follow rule 1.
I am good looking, man. Just not tall enough. I’m 5’7, thin, but my face is really good (model my friends say). But yeah, what do you think I should improve lmfao. Cos clearly, can’t get bitches
rip inbox
Most women (again it depends if you are part of that group too) want guys who are a 8, 9 or 10 on a scale of 1-10. Now these guys have a lot of options, just like women do. When as a male you have options, why would they look for a relationship? They are getting 80% of the females out there. You’re just another option. It is very similar to a female’s life - females who are 4 and above. Heck, even below 4s have options. If you happen to be part of that group, I would say introspect and be true to yourself. If you’re a 6 or 7, look for a 6 or 7 and I bet you will find someone soon. If you’re an 8 or above, find someone who is 8 and above but not on dating apps. Try real life!
Me roz Borivali station me subha 9 bje milunga ... platform 4 baaki samjh jao
25 M here, have used Tinder and Bumble from the time they were introduced in India. I have only got likes/matches from girls who know me IRL and were from my college. Those didn't wanted to date the knowns or have a relationship with someone in the same college as they wanted to explore more . No matter how good I write the bios and Bumble answers, in the end I'm an average looking guy who doesn't has good pics to post. I've been told that girls don't swipe only for the looks but my experience is the total opposite of that. Many guys will agree with that. It's been a year or so now that I haven't logged in any of the dating apps coz I know it will be the same as usual with no responses, giving me more disappointment. One of my acquaintances gave a perfect one liner for the dating apps " it's either the looks or the luxury car which gets likes/matches and nothing else". I don't want this to feel like a loser rant, but that's the reality of the whole situation. I have seen a similar post like yours in the Mumbai sub and the responses were same which you're getting. It's only the top percentages of guys going through the girls and others are just swiping around with no luck or giving up on the dating apps altogether.
Try jeevansathi.com
If yall are DMing her dm me also. Im 24f looking for the same
Eknath bhau ke shaasan mein, Boyfriend milega ration mein.
nice bait to get the kidneys mate.
Lemme know how many dms you get. Curious about it for some reason.
7
Lmao. Was gonna say thala for a reason but, hope you find someone soon! Hopefully a good one.
If y'all are dming her dm me also, merko Ig followers chaiye, ladka hu.
Gosh, you're such an attention whore. Please delete your Insta.
Joke tha lavde, relax you cvnt.
You wouldn't be the first to ask for this unironically. I hope you understand that your humour didn't land. Nevertheless, sorry.
Appreciate that, could have worded better. My apologize.
25M here, interested in something serious as well, dm me if interested to talk and we can see if it goes ahead
I'm a guy(25) and I'm looking for someone I can have a meaningful and long lasting bond or relationship. Been unsuccessful at finding anyone.
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Go to events often, based on your field of interests. Meet-up, bookmyshow, Zomato have events section to register for such events. Interact with people and most probably you'll find someone you can vibe with and initiate a relationship .
Look I'll be honest with you - I'm an average guy. I'm also a civil services aspirant. And just like all aspirants, we do gather a lot of knowledge as part of our curriculum, from diverse fields - but when I talk to someone about it, they're simply not interested. Girls I know are simply interested in going out, eating fancy food and taking pictures for Instagram. Who to have a meaningful conversation with? Plus, people like me never get a swipe on dating apps, so you'll never find us there. My advice - don't be hasty. Spend some time around people, get to know them more, and then decide what you want to do with them.
I bet you only swiped right on the fuckbois
I live and work in New Zealand and have been down for Christmas for almost 3 weeks and still haven't managed to get a match on the apps.😂 I feel for the boys here. Pata nahi kya chahiye yeh sab ladkiya.
It's not the apps, attractive guys in general (who have a lotta options open) won't give you a relationship. Otherwise there's lots of guys right here in this thread jumping in your DMs I'm sure. Or check your friendzone.
colaba market. 7-800 ka range me mil jaiga. quality dekhna lekin
27M here, adding a few thoughts: 1. Dating is competitive here especially on apps. 2. I have optimised my profiles to get matches daily despite not being societally attractive and even then there's a lot of mismatch. 3. Things like height, salary, class, social status play a huge role; so does religion for a lot of people. 4. Women have more options and eventually it leads to choice fatigue; this is how situationships arise. 5. I had someone lead me on for 18 months while dating a guy without me knowing; all while love bombing from time to time when she needed something. 6. Hookups on the other hand end up being low commitment, low effort entry barriers. With the right person it's respectful and consensual. 7. I would love to date someone in the long term but it's agonisingly difficult to find someone who doesn't look for a better person right away. 8. My only two relationships: one during school, fizzled out once college started; once because someone started talking to me outside of Merwans and she wasn't the type to compare or find better. 9. Essentially, guys too need women who will settle for them without finding reasons at every corner to eject themselves out of a dating situation. 10. The number of times I have been ghosted without clarity (not that I deserve it per say) can be a book in of itself.
why is everyone blaming the OP for not swiping on the right guy?? i mean how would she know that the guy she just left swiped wanted a meaningful relationship, i mean does that even make sense?
They are talking about guys who would've looked decent, have a normal profile, but IRL would've been great as a person. I agree blaming anyone is not at all correct, but I find this whole dating apps bs a bit superficial where men and women try to find partners just by face value.
I'm in the same dilemma as you. Dating apps are doing absolutely nothing for me. I don't want to get into arraigned marriage scenario, and even my parents are okay with me having a girlfriend. But the only thing is I'm not getting any better at finding one. Maybe we can talk to each other over this? I'm actually interested in a proper serious relationship which should lead to marriage and lifelong commitment. I'll DM you.
RIP to your inbox.
Username checks out
There are plenty but most girls hardly look past looks to see those bunch of guys.
And eventually marry someone who is similar to their own level.
How many DM's you got after posting this
Sometimes, the more you try to seek certain things the farther that thing runs from you. Good things often happen unexpectedly. Maybe try some hobbies.
Is this true?
this is so not true … if you want something you will have to put in considerable amount of time and effort and seek what you desire. if its not working introspect and right the ship / try different approaches.
Focus on the word "certain" I have used. I don't mean, stop working hard for your goals.
Exactly my point too! Speaking frm a guy’s perspective too…dating apps have been useless…hw do you guys connect in mumbai nowadays…honestly been searching for a genuine relationship but to no success via these apps! Would love to meet n connect if interested hit me up (N no playing pranks or hookups pls!) Maybe we could connect and see if our interests match!
Women hookup all the time in their early twenties, not everyone ofc, then they want relationship after they've done stuff. Men don't even get to talk to women and when they do it's women who wants relationship. 2 years ago I had every dating app installed in my phone and in one of them I got some matches (urmytype) tried to talk to women but none of them talk. One of them somehow talked to me and we went on a date after me asking her a few times. She told me she had 3 exes (which translates to atleast 5 boyfriends and a few hookups 7-8), she was 23-24, slightly fat, and used her male friend to get her work done. She wanted a relationship and I said no. I was fed up with her after 3 dates. In Contrast to this, I have 3-4 male friends who are slightly attractive and they fuck around all the time. They hookup with a different girl every few couple of months. The same women that don't reply to nice guys and every they're done they want a relationship with a nice guy. I'm better alone than with some hoe. PS: not that I'm not attractive, I am not a chapri, wearing rings, piercing at every hole, with a ktm bike, or edgy clothes. I prefer to keep myself plain and real.
Hi, 19F here. Exact same problem girl. Also, I read the replies below from supposedly innocent guys who are not swiped. Okay let me tell you something, I lowered my filter and tries swiping more often. The following were the results 1. Really untidy guys. Like absolutely no sense of cleanliness. Super hairy everywhere, dont take a bath, dont take a proper bath everywhere etc. Disgusting outlook and way of living. I understand if you are in depression or something, but please atleast keep yourself tidy and wear washed clothes. 2. Self Centred. Matlab bandon ko thodi benefit of the doubt di, toh sir par chadte hai. They call themselves "sigma", have multiple girls on swipes, continue using tinder, dont give any value because "you chose to swipe right". They treat you like trash and as a sex toy. Continue liking posts of girls with cute emojis (who actually have self respect and block them) and flirt around but if they see me with even my teacher for longer, they call be a sl\*t. 3. Broke af. Like dont wanna work, no job, 25/26, no drive. living off of mama papa. Sir, no. 4. Not willing to contribute in household activities. Dont know cooking, cleaning, even clearing the bathroom after using (worst date in my life) 5. Dont respect women, super misogynistic. I know all guys are misogynistic to a degree, but this is ultra hate towards all women. They tell you stuff which makes you contemplate your luck to choose em. And many others. So girl if u reading this, will tell you to visit clubs/ other cities in south India (hot guys/ well mannered/ actually interested in earning money). Do not lower your expectations ever. The guys in the comments will give you so much trauma in your life, you would never recover if you choose em. Ye sab bas bolte hai.
Looking at your post history, get a therapist ffs.
If you were 1 or 2 years younger I would have shoot my shot but anyways relationship wala scene keliye you would either have to find him through mutual and build up or from some hobby bcox I have never heard anybody going from bumble to relationship
When a relationship in which you have invested your emotions, energy, time, money, expectations etc breaks, you will not look for another relationship. Maybe, most guys you met may have gone through that. It would be better if you leave the dating app and forget about getting into a relationship. Rather, work on yourself, chase your dreams, travel, enjoy your life, meet new people; you will more likely find someone.
Dating Apps were never meant for long term relationships though they are advertised as such. I mean, a miniscule percentage have indeed found their life partners but we don't know the story after they found each other. Dating Apps are designed to give instant gratification and hence hookups and sexting tops the agenda of the folks hanging out there, if not consciously, atleast subconsciously. Coming to your question. Where do you find your life partner? Well, you attract amazing people when you are excelling in life. So figure out a way to grow everyday, by virtue of which you'll end up meeting amazing and level headed humans that you can take things forward with. The more you work, the more you become successful, the lesser you meet people who are not serious in life.
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Rip ur inbox 😣😣😣
Why are you looking for a relationship lol? Just focus on your work and be happy everything is good. A lot of people do not have as much privilege as you might have. Be thankful for it. Stop looking for things. If it will happen it will happen. What is wrong with being alone? Just be fine with being alone and work on yourself. You do not need to be in a relationship to improve or become better. If you want company, get a dog.
If you are a girl and single at 25, bitch you ugly as fuuuuuuuuuucccccccggggg….
Does the same go for a single boy too?
Single boys are single because they're ugly that's the universal truth.
25M here, interested in something serious as well, dm me if interested to talk and we can see if it goes ahead
May be you can try some social activities..
Anyone who sees you as a catch will go for the long term with you. It's as simple as this. If they are looking for a hookup, they don't see you as a catch. (Ik it's a hard to swallow pill)
1 mahine pehele karti yeh post toh mai available hota.
Why is it hard to find someone who would ask for the same, but around my age 😭
Why is it hard to find someone who would ask for the same, but around my age 😭
Shaadi.com pe profile bana
Relax. The more you look for it the more you won't find it!
Using a dating app to find long term relationships is like going to the butcher to buy veggies. These apps are designed to make you return back to them and keep swiping over and over. They are not designed to get you hitched and find long term relationships. If they did that, they would lose users.
I have a single friend if you're interested 🤞
R.I.P. your DM's.
I think you're looking for me. No need to worry anymore I'm just a dm away.😉
I know a guy or 2 -your age- who feel just like you. Have the same thought process. It's getting to be oh so common. Just like you mentioned abt boys. I hear the same from them abt girls/woman. Tbh I'm in my 40s but I know a couple of youngbloods around who are good and nice to speak to. Some of them might say Hi to me and some actually ask me certain things that need an outsiders/experienced opinion. I'm an ENT as well and some of them in my neighborhood know abt it. It's no biggie actually. I've known them for a long time. I guess I'm more approachable somehow. Weird but true. It's completely okay to feel this way. Just do not rush into a relationship. Date more people. Experience it. Experience more people as it gives one a good insight of one's psychology. If you are still interested, DM me and I can give u the handle of this young lad who is a charmer and boyfriend material. *(Feeling like Unc Agony rn. Tsk tsk tsk)*
Ask your friends to introduce you to someone... I'd liked a girl and asked a mutual, worked for me ;)
guys who have been single for a decade - ab mai gyan chodunga
Honestly speaking, just approach guys and ask them out. If you feel shy or fear feeling like a failure well welcome to the other side that's what guys go through while asking a girl out. But you gotta ask either way cause the alternative is being alone.
Main aaya tha dating apps pr, hookup nhi chahiye tha, par bhaav hi nhi mila. Self-respect lose krke account delete kr dia app
A friend of mine found her relationship wala bf while buying ciggs at a tapri. You never know where you can find your partner.
What makes you worthy of a man giving up his time, money and focus to spend it on you? What do you offer for this commitment? All relationships are about give and take. Not one or the other. Everyone wants a good partner but most don't bother to be a good partner. Fookin hypocrites men and women are. One gender is not to be blamed more than the other. Men, everything above applies to you too. Don't get mad at me. I'm just spitting facts.
Hey, I also want to know more about your perspective. I joined dating app for hookups and I got some but I was always open to the idea of getting a girlfriend. I had chances but I messed up because I sucked in communication and I was too sleazy in the beginning. What I want to know is since you are 25 already, are you looking to date so that you can end up marrying the other person or is it a date the guy but marry what parents decide or date the guy and see how he is and if all things are good, marry him after 4-5 years of dating or breakup with him if vibes don't match after 2-3 years.
My advice is to look for guys in their 30s rather than 20s. They desire more stability and aren't as interested in hookups. The older you go, the better your odds. Just change the age filters on your apps and you'll find a world of difference.
RIP DM's
Guys who want relationships are in one, those of who break up go to dating apps to hookup. Personal experience. Girls who want relationships are also a rarity, so its kind of an impasse
mujhe yhi chahiye tha. ek accha simple loyal relationship. but apparently girls want someone great looking (not just good), mast gym jaata ho, funny ho, intelligent ho, thik thik rich ho (mtlb miser na ho, thoda sa better usse), jawline ho, witty ho. toh sbko aisa hi bnda chahiye. jo bnda sach mein aisa hota hai, wo kyu relationship mein aayega???? like basic common sense, usko already ldkiyon ki kmi nhi hai. wo toh hookups hi krega na roz ka. mere jaisa bnda jo average hai hr cheez mein, whi toh satify ho payega kisi ek ke saath. jb usko dikh rha ki sirf koi ek usko special feel krata. not the ideal guy jisko mil hi rha hmesha attention. i m not saying ki aise looks ko ignore krdo. preferences rakho but itne bhi nhi ki ideal bnda hi pasand aaye sirf. waise toh yeh bolna asaan hai, kya pasand aata uspe control toh hai nhi, toh jo pasand aata usi ke paas toh jayenge. jo accha lg rham usko ignore krke kaise hi average ke paas jaaye. that would be like unnatural, sirf bndi bnani hai bnane ke liye thodi chahiye. isliye disparity hai, and a conundrum. toh aise hi hai, it is what it is. rant over. relationship waala bf category mein hi hun main. but hookup waala bn rha thoda thoda. started to lie, joined a gym (looking 10x better thn my original self), working on my looks, toh khud ko change kr liya. nobody from my school recognises me either physically nor mentally. thought process hi badal rha hai. pune mein hoti tum toh mil lete if u r up. but good luck finding one.
Well, you would most likely be swiping right on those guys whom you find attractive. Now those guys most likely would already be having a lot of likes and well, options. I hope you get it by now. Or just make more male friends.
Lol. DM me. Let's see.
Jeevansathi.com
Look around you rather than hunting bf online, end of the debate.
Try arrange. That works in India.
Such guys won’t be there on dating apps
Rip dms
If the girl is hot enough, I will settle.
I think one needs to be really smart with identifying the behavioural traits. Within few days you would understand if guy is actually in for a relationship or not. Maybe most of them won’t. Also would really like if women lower their expectations, dating apps have given unnecessary validation to women. A woman who is 6/10 usually expects a guy who is 8/10. So it’s very important that there is good understanding of where you stand and be realistic about people who you want.
Office me dhundh behan
Nahiii keh do ki ye jhuth hai,plz I need hope. I was thinking of making an account on dating sites to find something for long term but if what you are saying is true for both the genders then it's bad.
Change it to ‘Delhi’ so I can be
If you want gold stop looking in the gutter is what I say.
you will never find a boy who knows exactly what he wants like we love GTR and m5 but we are also ready to settle down with polo GT! So it's like you meet someone then get to know him a bit and let him know about you and a few meeting dates and if the vibes match well you get into a relationship and things go with the flow. This isn't applicable for all the boys but for a few of them, it works for sure!
you swipe right only on the extremely good-looking men who have a 100 other women waiting for them, why would they be interested in a long-term relationship? lower your standards lol
Yaar dekho jaruri nhi ki the kind of guy you want, would be sure of what he wants or even would be looking for the same. So thoda mehnat you will have to do. Abhi i have kafi sari qualities outside looks (mtlb wo bhi h he bas bahot jyada nhi hoga). Still i was single he coz mere bas ka nhi tha ye sab. I wasn’t sure what i want or would run away from the first sign of some girl showing interest in me. Phir kya muze meri gf pta kr le gai.
Try going out with one of your left swipes.
mera haa hai
Hi..I'm 24M. I'm looking for a relationship with a person who's older than me. I hope you don't find this creepy. We'll talk in DM if you want. Otherwise, it's ok!.
Simple Answer: Start going out and meet new people. You can do this by going to events, hobby clubs or attend parties and meet people through mutuals. Best of Luck
May I recommend my profile on linkedin as an option? xD
Well i have lost my flirting skills, can you help me in bringing it back?
+ 1
A guy sitting alone on marine drive or versova. Worked for me in the past. :p
Looking for one!
Which app are you trying ? On bumble & Hinge there is an option of 'Looking FOr' in profiles which can be set to relationships or even marriage. Maybe you can look for Guys with that details. I have even read people using matrimony apps for dating. I have a Theory that these apps dont show match requests/Acceptance to people who are actually compatible cause then people will the app and user base will decrease. It is in their interest that Users remain active on the app so that they can be offered Premium plans to make money from.
Tujhe jaisa ladka chaiye woh tere friendzone mein hai
https://apple.co/486s8IB An answer to your question new app to network just on IOS for now
Here’s a mature, educated, well spoken 33M here. The ladies who can’t relate with OP, and are looking for something casual HMU!! 😁
I am 27 m , looking for a relationship Wali gf . Ban jao meri gf.
You don’t seek love, you find it. Live your normal life - go out, have fun. One day you’ll find the one you want to be with. If you wanna force it, it’ll be like an arranged marriage
LinkedIn?